Transcript
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Speaker: Let's Play Pretend is an explicit podcast with subject matter that may be disturbing to some listeners.
Speaker: Content warnings can be found in the episode description.
Speaker: I'm just laughing, so it's good.
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Yeah!
Speaker: Hello everybody and welcome back to Let's Play Pretend.
Speaker: My name is Jordan Derringer.
Speaker: I am your DM, GM, keeper, handler, and host, and I have with me, as always, Mr. Nick Barnett.
Speaker: If you're having spider problems, I feel bad for you, son.
Speaker: I got 99 problems, but spiders ain't one.
Speaker: I'm not dollaring.
Speaker: Not anymore now that you guys killed it.
Speaker: Damn right.
Speaker: Which I'm very proud of you guys for.
Speaker: Nobody even got that hurt.
Speaker: You guys, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker: I also have with me, as always, Mr. Breck Black.
Speaker: Ryan Winchester and I don't have a rhyme or a fun fact, but I do have Tiny Dice.
Speaker: Tiny Dice!
Speaker: Welcome to the Tiny Dice Club, my friend.
Speaker: I am very excited.
Speaker: Now you're making me question my metal dice choice for tonight.
Speaker: That's okay, I can always switch mid-episode.
Speaker: I also have with me, as always, Mr. Matchek.
Speaker: Arthur Gooseberg here, currently looking for my tiny dice now.
Speaker: It's okay, I just pulled mine out too.
Speaker: Also happy the spiders are gone, but I ain't going in that goddamn flooded room, that's for sure.
Speaker: I like to hear that.
Speaker: I really like to hear that.
Speaker: And I have with me, as always, my beautiful wife, Mrs. Melanie Derringer.
Speaker: Hi, I play Samantha Williams, and I don't have a fun fact or a rhyme, but I do have this just to piss Nick off.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Uh-huh.
Speaker: Nailed it.
Speaker: Got it in one.
Speaker: Uh-huh.
Speaker: You're welcome.
Speaker: Was that actually a kazoo?
Speaker: It was a kazoo sound effect on YouTube because I don't have an actual kazoo.
Speaker: How did we even get on that?
Speaker: In the group chat at some point we were talking about kazoos.
Speaker: How did that even come up?
Speaker: I don't remember, but I told Jordan since I'm introduced last, I have the perfect opportunity to piss you off with it.
Speaker: So I took it.
Speaker: Uh, I'm gonna be Jordan with the puppet masters around here.
Speaker: He thinks he is.
Speaker: Believe me, I understand scratch the beard when the beard needs scratched.
Speaker: Let's just not do it while we're talking.
Speaker: Everybody can yelp and blow on a kazoo all they want as long as it's not their scene while they're talking because I can then cut it out.
Speaker: But I swear to God, if anybody blows on a fucking kazoo on Sunday, I will find where you live and I will break your kazoo.
Speaker: That's how it got brought up, Nick.
Speaker: You really went back in the conversation just to find that message?
Speaker: Yes, yes I did.
Speaker: And it was 100% worth it.
Speaker: Your dedication is strong.
Speaker: I also was going back on my notes for...
Speaker: Last time we recorded, which was, oh my God, almost a month ago, I guess.
Speaker: At least for this.
Speaker: Well, last time we recorded was the Halloween episode.
Speaker: Right, and I didn't take notes on that.
Speaker: But I have a note in here that says it's the fourth one, and I don't remember what the fuck that means.
Speaker: Well, it was the light.
Speaker: It was the far right light over the door.
Speaker: How about I give you guys a recap?
Speaker: That'd be great.
Speaker: But the intro is still playing.
Speaker: The intro is still playing, but by the magic of editing, it is now the recap sound.
Speaker: See, I'm magic.
Speaker: You're magic.
Speaker: I'm the one who changed the sound, sweetheart.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So last time we played, you guys found yourselves in a hallway with four doors that had spooky things behind each one of them.
Speaker: And there was one big door at the end of the hallway with four unlit torches.
Speaker: You guys looked in all of the doors and you decided that you wanted to tackle the door that had the spider webs in it.
Speaker: So you guys went into the room and a giant spider came out of a cave in the back of the room that you guys then had to fight.
Speaker: And when I say giant spider, I mean it put the other ones that you guys already fought to shame on.
Speaker: You guys were fighting it.
Speaker: No one was really getting the upper hand on each other there for a little while.
Speaker: When all of a sudden you guys were able to light the room on fire.
Speaker: Then shit got real.
Speaker: I'm the one who lit the room on fire because I'm the dumbass.
Speaker: Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker: So then shit got real.
Speaker: Arthur was the first one to run back into the cave that the spider came out of, and he noticed that Ashley was webbed to the wall.
Speaker: You guys found your companion again.
Speaker: Upon everybody else getting back into the cave, the spider was kind of coming down on you.
Speaker: Ryan, in a fit of panic slash heroism...
Speaker: ran out of the cave, stabbed the spider in the eyeball with a knife that was found on a table, and the spider dropped.
Speaker: At that point, you guys saw the torch that was at the back of this room light with a blue flame, and the door unlocked.
Speaker: While this was going down, Matt, Arthur, was able to cut Ashley out of the web cocoon that she was in.
Speaker: You guys all went out into the hallway.
Speaker: You found that the torch above the right or above the big door, the bright most torch also lit with a blue flame.
Speaker: You set Ashley to sit down and kind of she's kind of in like this almost trance like state and she was mumbling to herself.
Speaker: She was mumbling really quietly to herself.
Speaker: And the only phrase that you guys were able to pick out from what she was saying was, it's the fourth one.
Speaker: And that's where we are now.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that means.
Speaker: But at least now you know where it came from.
Speaker: I still don't know what the fuck it means.
Speaker: None of you know what it means.
Speaker: Only Ashley knows what it means.
Speaker: Who was it that was close enough to hear that?
Speaker: It was only one of us that was up next to her.
Speaker: That would have been Ryan.
Speaker: That's what I thought.
Speaker: But it was one of those things where I was like, yeah, Ryan's just going to tell you guys, so you're good.
Speaker: Fair enough.
Speaker: So that's where we're at now.
Speaker: The spider door, as you guys came through it, closed and also locked.
Speaker: So you guys are not able to go back into that room.
Speaker: And as the door locks, you see iron bars come down from the ceiling to really close off that door.
Speaker: So there are only three doors left.
Speaker: You have a near comatose Ashley with you.
Speaker: She's just kind of her eyes are kind of like half open, glazed over.
Speaker: She's sitting there mumbling to herself.
Speaker: She's not going to be any help right now.
Speaker: So what are you guys going to do?
Speaker: Smack her around a little bit.
Speaker: Jesus Christ.
Speaker: I mean, you know better than anyone else.
Speaker: I was going to say you can if you want to.
Speaker: No, no, no, no.
Speaker: I'm just messing.
Speaker: It was a joke.
Speaker: Calm down.
Speaker: Okay, so then what are you actually going to do?
Speaker: Did we actually get out of the room or are we still in the room?
Speaker: You guys are back out in the hallway now.
Speaker: The spider room is closed and locked down.
Speaker: Um, guys?
Speaker: Yes?
Speaker: Not to add more stuff onto what's already going on, but cryptic messages are always probably useful.
Speaker: Does It's the Fourth One ring any bells?
Speaker: Anybody?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Ned's going to look over top of the large door.
Speaker: Which torch is lit over the door?
Speaker: The fourth one, probably.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: The rightmost one.
Speaker: And it is also lit with a blue flame, which is the same color flame that was on the torch in the spider room.
Speaker: Well, guys, if you look over there, I don't know, maybe left to right, one, two, three, four.
Speaker: Maybe she knew that she was in the fourth room.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: And Ryan is just going to plop down on the floor next to Ashley and just start kind of taking stock of his wounds because he took a couple of hits in that last room.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I can have you roll me a first aid if you want to gain some of that back.
Speaker: I mean, I'm willing to try.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: What do you have, a 10 in first aid?
Speaker: No, I have an 11.
Speaker: Is there any way I can help him?
Speaker: I was going to say, does anybody else have first aid that can help him out?
Speaker: Yeah, I've got a 32 in first aid.
Speaker: All right, so go ahead and...
Speaker: Roll with advantage, Brick.
Speaker: Well, that went from a 48 out of 11 to an 8 out of 11, so... Nice.
Speaker: How about that?
Speaker: All right, go ahead and roll... Go ahead and roll a d4 and then do a d4 plus 1.
Speaker: That is 3, so I get 4 back.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: I gave you the plus 1 because Ned was helping you out.
Speaker: Yeah, and that puts me back to full, so...
Speaker: Bruises, scrapes, nothing.
Speaker: Life-threatening, but still not great.
Speaker: But doing better.
Speaker: All right, so you are all healed up.
Speaker: Did anyone else take damage that wants to try to heal up?
Speaker: I don't remember.
Speaker: I did not take any damage, though.
Speaker: I want to say Ryan was the only one.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: No, apparently I did.
Speaker: I took four.
Speaker: I only had ten pit points left.
Speaker: I had 14 before.
Speaker: It was from the fall when we fell down, I think.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I think you're right.
Speaker: Oh, I think you're right.
Speaker: Because I have one hit point missing.
Speaker: After I patch up Ryan, can I go over to Sam and try and help her out, too?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: So, Sam, you can roll with advantage, meaning you can roll the 10 spot twice and take the better one.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: I dropped my dice.
Speaker: I can hear her chair moving through the floor.
Speaker: Shut up.
Speaker: Oh, shit, I dropped my dice.
Speaker: The 10 spot, is that the... The double digit one.
Speaker: Double digit one, okay.
Speaker: I got a five, then.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: All right, go ahead.
Speaker: I'll give you the same deal.
Speaker: You can roll a d4 and then add one to it.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Cool, cool, cool.
Speaker: Not a d6.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, that's only two hit points, but I'll take it, I guess.
Speaker: So you rolled a one?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Good job.
Speaker: Maybe these days you're not a good idea tonight.
Speaker: Ned, you can try and heal up too if you need to.
Speaker: I don't think Ned's too worried about it.
Speaker: Can I look over Ashley?
Speaker: Does she have any open wounds or anything on her?
Speaker: She doesn't have anything that you can actually see.
Speaker: It's whatever's wrong with Ashley you can kind of deduce is an internal issue.
Speaker: Whether that's she's having a mental issue, if she was maybe poisoned, maybe she was dropped on her head, who knows?
Speaker: But nothing external.
Speaker: There's no cuts, there's no...
Speaker: Upon like a thorough investigation, like you don't even see like any puncture wounds, like from the spider or anything.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So what are we going to do about this now?
Speaker: We apparently were stuck here until we get through the rooms.
Speaker: We can't bring her in there with us.
Speaker: Do we all have to go in there?
Speaker: I mean, you don't all have to go in there.
Speaker: If we leave her out here, we run the risk of either her disappearing again or worse.
Speaker: So what if someone stays out here with her?
Speaker: Or two people?
Speaker: Okay, I know splitting the party is a bad idea, but what if we, like, split the group?
Speaker: Separated?
Speaker: Why don't you all roll me a history check?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm trying to find a better way of saying it.
Speaker: 28 on a 41.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Mystery.
Speaker: 72 on a 13.
Speaker: Want to spend the luck to fix it?
Speaker: No, fuck no.
Speaker: 33 on a 40.
Speaker: I got a 34 on a 12.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: With a crit success, Arthur, you remember thinking back at the rooms, okay?
Speaker: You did the one on the right closest to you guys.
Speaker: That was the one with the spider.
Speaker: On the left, you saw a body on an operating table.
Speaker: On the further left...
Speaker: or the one closer to the big door, you saw a room with two catwalks with a big pool of water in between, and the further right was a room with six animal statues.
Speaker: With a crit success, you can deduce that your chances of having to fight anything in those rooms are slim.
Speaker: I don't think...
Speaker: We're gonna have to fight anything in those rooms.
Speaker: Doesn't seem as ominous and foreboding as the web room.
Speaker: Maybe we should go in this animal room.
Speaker: What's so scary about a totem?
Speaker: You don't watch a whole lot of horror movies.
Speaker: I watch the cool horror movies.
Speaker: Nothing to do with these weird totems.
Speaker: I mean, I hope you're right, Arthur.
Speaker: I really do.
Speaker: I don't want to fight anything else again if we don't have to.
Speaker: But where did this room come from?
Speaker: I don't think this is something that Ashley's always had under her house.
Speaker: Now we're questioning this world?
Speaker: No, I'm trying to figure out where it would have come from then.
Speaker: He has a point.
Speaker: You're just not questioning this?
Speaker: No, you're not.
Speaker: I think this is just added in this world.
Speaker: I think somebody made this.
Speaker: And who do we know that would want to trap us for some godforsaken reason?
Speaker: Nobody.
Speaker: I don't think it's nobody.
Speaker: Evil Chris.
Speaker: That.
Speaker: But the problem with that theory is, is why leave a way out?
Speaker: Why give us a door at all?
Speaker: He literally could have just kept us in that cage and said, fuck it.
Speaker: Yes, master dice roller.
Speaker: Oh, nothing.
Speaker: Continue.
Speaker: I don't like that.
Speaker: I didn't like it in Baldur's Gate when you see a fail and fucking roll.
Speaker: I don't like it when I'm right here playing regular D&D.
Speaker: I don't like it now.
Speaker: Look, here's what I'm thinking.
Speaker: So Chris wanted the tooth, right?
Speaker: And then we had this list of other things.
Speaker: I don't remember what all was on it now.
Speaker: I'm not the one who's holding it.
Speaker: Yeah, I threw a look at it, but yeah.
Speaker: Maybe he can't get them himself.
Speaker: He's buying his time.
Speaker: He couldn't get the tooth that was stuck in the movie theater, and he couldn't get in there.
Speaker: I don't want to get played for a fiddle, man.
Speaker: Are we just doing his dirty work for him?
Speaker: How would we know?
Speaker: We wouldn't.
Speaker: But I mean, we have to get out of here, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But what if these are the same pieces that we also need to get out?
Speaker: Yeah, how else are we supposed to leave?
Speaker: We have no other leads but this.
Speaker: Yeah, but when Elise and Chris touched the tooth, everybody flashed out of there.
Speaker: And I don't think Evil Chris planned on that happening.
Speaker: That's why I'm saying I think we need to get these pieces...
Speaker: to get ourselves home.
Speaker: I'm just saying I don't put no stake in it being in his hand.
Speaker: It had something to do with her, and I don't know why the hell that would be.
Speaker: And I have a feeling she didn't have a clue neither.
Speaker: I'm just trying to figure out what's going on and why we're being kept alive.
Speaker: If he wanted to kill us so bad, I'm pretty sure he'd have killed us by now, right?
Speaker: I mean, he was pretty much about to do that before we all got zapped out of there.
Speaker: Yeah, he almost about killed me, so I don't think anything's stopping him.
Speaker: Maybe these pieces are going to make him stronger.
Speaker: So if we collect them, then maybe we can go home.
Speaker: Yeah, and I think the only reason he hasn't killed us is we've gotten real fucking lucky.
Speaker: I hope you're right.
Speaker: I'd rather be wrong.
Speaker: Well, unfortunately, unless you guys saw something I did and I haven't seen any clues as to why this is here under Ashley's house or even how this came to be.
Speaker: So I think our only solution is just keep going right now.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: What room are we going to do next?
Speaker: And are we just going to prop Ashley inside or are we leaving her out here?
Speaker: I think taking her in the rooms is just a bad idea all around.
Speaker: We don't know what's going to actually be in the rooms.
Speaker: I mean, the spider room was pretty obvious, but that spider was a lot bigger than I even imagined.
Speaker: So is somebody staying behind?
Speaker: If Arthur's right and these are going to be more, I don't know, if we're not going to have to actually fight nothing and we're going to actually have to think something through, I don't know, I feel better if we're all in there.
Speaker: I don't want to leave her out here, but I don't feel safe bringing her in either.
Speaker: This is a rock and a hard place.
Speaker: And there's never a good idea to separate, but like I said, I have a feeling we won't fight anything.
Speaker: So maybe everyone staying together is the best plan.
Speaker: But if we're not going to fight anything, fuck you, God.
Speaker: If we're not going to fight anything.
Speaker: Damn right.
Speaker: Then why is splitting up the party bad?
Speaker: Because we don't, I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: This magic room might have some magic bullshit happen.
Speaker: And we've already been warned and kind of seen about the whole, you know, possible taken faces doppelgangers bullshit.
Speaker: So there's always that.
Speaker: We've seen two, we've seen two Chris's that are completely different.
Speaker: And then we've seen two Sam's that are also different.
Speaker: She was obviously older and one of them, Chris, he's all fucked up.
Speaker: I'm just saying that we run the risk of losing Ashley again if someone isn't out here.
Speaker: And who knows if we'll find her again.
Speaker: Someone's got to stay with her because we don't know what put her in this state.
Speaker: For all we know, when we go in a room and it locks, she could wake up and start trying other rooms.
Speaker: And I don't really want her going in a room alone.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: That's a fair point.
Speaker: Stop it!
Speaker: Can I check and see, does she have her phone on her?
Speaker: Ned, you turn around to face Ashley.
Speaker: And you said you wanted to check to see if she has her phone on her.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You guys have all been kind of circled around, kind of, you know, huddle style.
Speaker: Not really paying attention to her.
Speaker: When you turn around to see if she has her phone on her, she's standing.
Speaker: Creepy.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: Ashley, you're all right.
Speaker: She's leaning against the wall, but she's standing and she goes.
Speaker: You guys aren't going anywhere without me.
Speaker: Are you okay to walk?
Speaker: I'll be fine.
Speaker: Just... Give me just a minute.
Speaker: I've got a headache.
Speaker: But I'm okay.
Speaker: Ashley, I know you're not feeling good, but what is the last thing you remember?
Speaker: I... I don't know.
Speaker: Everything's kind of fuzzy.
Speaker: I remember the spider, the spider, the spider.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: You guys must have gotten me out of there.
Speaker: That's why I'm not webbed up to that wall anymore.
Speaker: I remember being webbed to the wall.
Speaker: I don't remember anything before that.
Speaker: My brain's still kind of foggy.
Speaker: I know this is our friend, but can I check to see if she's telling the truth?
Speaker: I'm feeling a little skeptical about her too.
Speaker: I was going to say, you can definitely roll me a human.
Speaker: Somebody touch her arm, please.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: 97 on a 40.
Speaker: Ooh, Nick.
Speaker: 69 on a 52.
Speaker: 69's a crit success, my dude.
Speaker: Oh yeah, I forgot.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: To the best of your knowledge, yes, she's being truthful.
Speaker: She seems like somebody who is like from the kind of movies and stuff that you've seen.
Speaker: She seems like someone that's kind of that's been drugged and the drugs are wearing off.
Speaker: I'm going to touch your arm to see if I feel the forgive me not.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Do I feel it?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Do you?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Do I?
Speaker: She's your character, God.
Speaker: You're right.
Speaker: She is my character.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: Yes, you feel the forget me not.
Speaker: That's what I fucking thought, you asshole.
Speaker: That's not what you thought.
Speaker: That's why you reached for it.
Speaker: Yay!
Speaker: She's here.
Speaker: Sam just removes her hand and then says nothing.
Speaker: So how long do we want to wait?
Speaker: Ashley, you want to eat and drink a little something?
Speaker: We got some jerky, we got some water.
Speaker: It ain't a lot, but... Maybe just some water.
Speaker: Some water would be nice.
Speaker: I'll hand her a water out of Arthur's bag that I took from his house when we were there.
Speaker: She takes it and cracks it open and...
Speaker: Just demolishes that water bottle.
Speaker: Just... In seconds, that water's gone.
Speaker: When she's taking a drink of water, can Arthur go take a peek at the animal room and see exactly what's in there?
Speaker: Yes, you can.
Speaker: I thought you were going to say, can Arthur go take a pee?
Speaker: That's what I thought he was going to say, too.
Speaker: Arthur's going to go take a pee, us.
Speaker: Sam is going to follow Arthur.
Speaker: Me and Arthur have similar thoughts.
Speaker: Ryan was going to go check out the water room and try to use his flashlight that he has, the cheap little one, to see if he can see anything in the water.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Let's resolve Arthur and Samantha first.
Speaker: You guys open, like, kind of push open the door to the animal statue room, and you see six animal statues.
Speaker: Three on each side.
Speaker: Like three on each side of the room.
Speaker: And on the very back wall of the room is the unlit torch.
Speaker: Huh.
Speaker: Is there anything on the floor?
Speaker: There is not, but on the front of each of the animal statues, there is a lever.
Speaker: Are any of them pulled already?
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: They're all in the up position.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want to draw this out.
Speaker: Can you tell me the placement of these animals again?
Speaker: There's six?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: There are three against the left wall, three against the right wall, each of them with a lever.
Speaker: I just sent the map in the eGroup chat, so everyone has it.
Speaker: Hey, thanks.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: I'm currently drawing the room in Microsoft Paint.
Speaker: Yeah, I was trying to draw that right now.
Speaker: I was going to say, I already drew it once, and that's what Breck just sent to you guys.
Speaker: And then, Ryan, while you are looking over into the water room, you see that there is a catwalk on your side.
Speaker: There is a catwalk on the far side.
Speaker: On the far side is the unlit torch.
Speaker: And underneath the unlit torch is a lever.
Speaker: On the catwalk that is closest to you, you see what almost looks like a computer against the... If you're looking at the map that I gave you, it would be the side of the catwalk that's closer to the body on the table room.
Speaker: And you notice something a little odd about the middle of the catwalk.
Speaker: It almost looks as if there is a lift that is just big enough for one person.
Speaker: Does the computer have anything on it?
Speaker: As of right now, it looks like it's powered down, but it does have like a mouse and a keyboard.
Speaker: What does the computer look like?
Speaker: Is it modern or does it look like it's from the 90s or...
Speaker: I'll say it looks modern, but it looks cheap.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, uh, what do you guys got in the other room?
Speaker: Six levers.
Speaker: Yeah, I got a lever across the, uh, small pond.
Speaker: Yeah, it's also got a computer to the side of the door and what looks like a little platform that might go across, but it only fit one person just barely.
Speaker: Got it.
Speaker: It's...
Speaker: I mean, I could try and swim across it.
Speaker: I mean, that can always be plan B if someone falls off the platform.
Speaker: Probably the best not to get in the water at all, if possible.
Speaker: Do we even know if that's water?
Speaker: So the other detail I was going to give you that I forgot to give you is these platforms are probably a good 50 feet above the water.
Speaker: And from what you can see, there is no ladder on either side leading back up to the catwalks.
Speaker: Oh, the catwalk.
Speaker: I can't get that song out of my head.
Speaker: Thanks a lot.
Speaker: So no doing your little turns on the catwalk.
Speaker: Yeah, these, I think if one of us falls in that water, we're going to be swimming until we die.
Speaker: I don't see a way up, and unless someone's got a 50 feet of hempen rope somewhere that I don't see, I think we're screwed.
Speaker: I have three feet of duct tape.
Speaker: Or three rolls of duct tape, so.
Speaker: Sam walks over to the room where Ryan's at to take a look at it herself.
Speaker: Um, and she, she's not going to go in because if she goes in, then the door is going to just start to close.
Speaker: But, um, her thought is that the way they need to get up there is there's something under the water to like immerse a ladder or something.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You're trying to see if there is, if you can see anything in the water that would
Speaker: basically help you across right that would help us at least get up to the platforms okay um uh hold on just for clarifications we're starting on a platform and there's a platform across from us and the water is 50 feet down is what i thought oh i thought the platforms were 50 feet up
Speaker: From like where we were and we were level with the water.
Speaker: No, the water is 50 feet below you.
Speaker: Oh, well, never mind then.
Speaker: Sorry to ruin your plan.
Speaker: I just wanted to clarify that I had a crack in my head.
Speaker: No, I was confused, so that's fine.
Speaker: I thought we were like starting where like the water was level with us if we walked in and then we had to get 50 feet into the air to these platforms.
Speaker: Y'all make a decision on which room we're going to do next.
Speaker: Yeah, we got to stop just sitting in this room.
Speaker: I say we go in the animal room.
Speaker: Jesus Christ, a roll of duct tape is 180 feet?
Speaker: Well, if I would have known you guys are going to talk about it out loud, I would have just said it on here.
Speaker: But yeah, I just Googled it.
Speaker: One roll of duct tape is 180 feet.
Speaker: I don't think duct tape is going to hold us.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: I mean, you braided into a robe.
Speaker: Holy hell, I didn't know that.
Speaker: So what room are we going to do?
Speaker: Are we going to go investigate the dead man room or do the animal room or do the swimming one?
Speaker: If we're doing the dead man room, y'all can go ahead.
Speaker: I'm going to stay out here and, yeah, fuck that.
Speaker: No, thank you.
Speaker: We've already decided that we're not splitting the party, Ryan.
Speaker: You can stand in the corner.
Speaker: I had to go in the spider room.
Speaker: Ryan just stares you and goes, fucking, yeah, okay, you did.
Speaker: All right, but I'm not moving from my corner.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: And if that thing moves, I blame all of you.
Speaker: You should really be blaming Ashley.
Speaker: Ashley.
Speaker: Why are you blaming me?
Speaker: I mean, you brought us here.
Speaker: I didn't bring you here.
Speaker: Um, excuse me.
Speaker: You're the one who lit the torch, slit your hand, and then we all transported to this realm.
Speaker: So yes, it is your fault.
Speaker: Oh, I thought you meant down here.
Speaker: I was going to say I didn't bring you down here.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, I was talking big picture.
Speaker: big picture, that would be Negacris, who's an asshole.
Speaker: Ashley was just wanting to see her brother.
Speaker: Don't blame me, Ashley.
Speaker: I... I have no offense to Ashley, but I have a feeling that she's not exactly, you know, well-versed at this to summon whatever he is.
Speaker: He seems like it's a little bit more.
Speaker: I told you it's just my thoughts.
Speaker: Anywho...
Speaker: What room are we doing?
Speaker: Edie, Beedie, Mighty, Bo.
Speaker: Did you want to go that way out?
Speaker: Because if that's so... It was the dead man.
Speaker: Yeah, no, we can just do the animal room.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: Sam just starts walking towards the door.
Speaker: So do I. And she turns around and goes to walk in backwards and she says, if you don't come in here, this door is going to close.
Speaker: And she steps back.
Speaker: Wait, which door?
Speaker: The animal door.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Ashley walks in with you.
Speaker: Ryan follows everyone else in while giving a fist bump to be like, yeah, not the dead man room.
Speaker: I guess Ned goes in.
Speaker: Arthur?
Speaker: I said Arthur, why not?
Speaker: I don't want to hear you.
Speaker: So you guys all walk into the room with the animal statues.
Speaker: The door slams shut behind you.
Speaker: Not the slow close that happened in the spider room.
Speaker: It just slams shut.
Speaker: Rude.
Speaker: And you guys hear the same metallic click to indicate that the door is locked and will not open again.
Speaker: until the puzzle is solved.
Speaker: As you investigate the room, you see six statues of different animals.
Speaker: And each one has a lever on the front of it.
Speaker: You see the statue of a bull, statue of a fox, statue of an owl, statue of a bear, of a cat,
Speaker: and up an eagle in that order.
Speaker: So bull is closest to the door on the left.
Speaker: Eagle is closest to the door on the right.
Speaker: They go, you know, in that order.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Give them to me again.
Speaker: Bull, fox, owl, bear, cat, and eagle.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Above the torch.
Speaker: You did not see this from the outside in the hallway.
Speaker: But from inside the room, you see the words etched into the wall above the torch.
Speaker: Prove your worth.
Speaker: Well, that's not helpful at all.
Speaker: Anyone got any ideas?
Speaker: I'm worried if we pull one of these levers, they're going to have to fight whatever lever we pull.
Speaker: With a prove your worth warning.
Speaker: I don't want to do that.
Speaker: Uh, Ryan's just gonna start moving around the room real slow and careful and sees if he sees anything else, like anything on the back of the statues, anything on the walls.
Speaker: Just looking for any clues.
Speaker: The statues are butted up, kind of like right against the wall.
Speaker: Yeah, still like, kind of fingers behind them, see if there's anything there.
Speaker: Just kind of checking.
Speaker: You don't see anything there.
Speaker: But...
Speaker: you do see a word above each one of the levers.
Speaker: Above the bull lever, you see the word strength.
Speaker: Above the fox one, you see cunning.
Speaker: Owl, you see wisdom.
Speaker: Bear, you see gluttony.
Speaker: Cat, you see agility.
Speaker: And eagle, you see perception.
Speaker: Well, I know I ain't doing the perception, y'all.
Speaker: Do you guys think each one of these levers is going to give us something different to do?
Speaker: I mean, that's kind of the vibe I'm getting, but most of these, like strength, agility, perception, those kind of take a guess at what the challenge, I guess, might be, but wisdom, cunning.
Speaker: Gluttony?
Speaker: Yeah, gluttony.
Speaker: Those don't seem straightforward at all.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Do we have to do all of these to get the lever?
Speaker: Only six ways to find out.
Speaker: I mean, like you said, you're not doing the perception ones, so I guess me or Sam?
Speaker: We both seem to notice things before everyone else.
Speaker: I was thinking it was like seven deadly sins, but there's only six.
Speaker: Yeah, some of these aren't sins.
Speaker: They're just like, like, put the bull and Ryan gestures to it.
Speaker: It's strength.
Speaker: Sam is just going to walk over to one and kind of, she's going to walk over to the eagle, since that's perception, and put her hand on the lever and kind of look at everyone to see if they agree with her pulling it or not.
Speaker: And Ryan, seeing that, is going to step next to her and just be like, I mean, four eyes are better than two.
Speaker: I'm going to do the opposite.
Speaker: I'm going to kind of like step towards where the door is to where I'm looking at the side of that statue, just in case.
Speaker: And I pull out a flashlight and turn it on.
Speaker: I brace myself and have out my pocket knife.
Speaker: And a flashlight as well, just in case.
Speaker: Ashley is going to step back and kind of huddle up with Ned.
Speaker: Sam pulls the lever.
Speaker: Sam pulls the lever.
Speaker: So as you flip the lever, the light goes dark in the room.
Speaker: And what almost looks like a single light bulb turns on above you.
Speaker: And you see the room that you are in has changed to a point where it almost doesn't look like a room.
Speaker: That light bulb gets brighter and brighter and brighter.
Speaker: And as you look at it, it almost looks like the sun against a blue sky.
Speaker: But there's something weird.
Speaker: There's a whole bunch of grass in the way.
Speaker: You guys are basically...
Speaker: Honey, I shrunk the kids' style small.
Speaker: And from what you can tell, you are in a backyard.
Speaker: So here's what's going to happen.
Speaker: On the other side of what would be the room is the owl statue from you guys.
Speaker: And it's still the same size it was, but with you guys being as small as you are, it's giant compared to you.
Speaker: And we're going to do this kind of video game style.
Speaker: You see the eyes of the statue open and two beams of red light shine down into the grass that you guys are standing in.
Speaker: What you need to do is I'm going to give you three rounds.
Speaker: You're going to try to hide from the statue and I am going to try to find you.
Speaker: Based on how good your hiding spot is,
Speaker: will depend on whatever plus or minuses you get.
Speaker: As you are standing here, you see at the bottom of this statue, there's another small lever.
Speaker: Your goal is to try to get to that lever and flip it to deactivate the statue.
Speaker: And that's what we're going to do.
Speaker: Metal Gear Solid, let's go.
Speaker: Pretty much.
Speaker: Like a mix of Metal Gear Solid and Grounded.
Speaker: I don't know what Grounded is, but I've played every Metal Gear game.
Speaker: Grounded is Honey, I Shrunk the Kids the game.
Speaker: So yes, basically what's going to happen is every round you guys are going to roll your stealth against the owl statue's alertness.
Speaker: And if you get caught, well, we'll see what happens.
Speaker: Well, don't get caught.
Speaker: To make my life easier, we're just going to go ahead and do this in order that I introduce you guys in.
Speaker: So we're just going to do it in alphabetical order.
Speaker: So right now, the yard that you guys are in has grass.
Speaker: The blades of grass are huge.
Speaker: Very easy for you to hide behind.
Speaker: With a decent alertness or search roll,
Speaker: You could try to find like a little mound of dirt or rock or something like that to hide behind as you work your way closer.
Speaker: We're going to do, like I said before, it'll take you three rounds to get to the statue.
Speaker: Unless you roll a crit, then we'll cross that bridge when we come to it.
Speaker: So you can all start by rolling a search or an alertness if you would like to try and find something more than just a blade of grass to hide behind.
Speaker: Ned kind of looks down at himself, already wearing camel pants and a forest green hoodie.
Speaker: And what is Ashley wearing?
Speaker: I'm going to say at this point right now, you see her in leggings, in a maroon hoodie, and brown, not Uggs, but the similar kind of boot.
Speaker: Bearclaw.
Speaker: Ah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's the kind that I have.
Speaker: Ned looking at that and realizing that's not too bad.
Speaker: I'm already all camouflaged up, so I'm going to move forward as fast as I can, like down on all fours, kind of army crawling, trying to get to the edge of the grass, since I'm already the right color.
Speaker: I'm not going to try and find or do much else other than stay low.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll me your stealth at base then.
Speaker: At base?
Speaker: Yeah, base.
Speaker: Okey-doke.
Speaker: I'm already camouflaged.
Speaker: I failed.
Speaker: 38 on a 10.
Speaker: And it got a 38 on a 50.
Speaker: Ned Dollar, in first round, you have been found.
Speaker: I'm the scapegoat.
Speaker: As the red light shines over you,
Speaker: before you have a chance to do anything a cage falls from the sky and traps you you cannot move any longer all right next up will be ryan uh ryan just kind of sighs to him's like i always fucking hated mario party and he's gonna try to find uh somewhere to hide better than just a piece of grass
Speaker: Just kind of looking around, trying to see if there's a rock to hide behind or a small divot in the ground, something.
Speaker: All right, give me an alertness.
Speaker: It is a 13 on a 72.
Speaker: 13 on a 72.
Speaker: Yeah, you can find something a little bit bigger to hide behind, and that will give you a plus 15 to your roll.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: That is a 40 on a 53.
Speaker: No, that plus 15 helped you.
Speaker: The owl rolled a 70 on a 50.
Speaker: So you are safe for the first round.
Speaker: Mr. Gooseberg.
Speaker: Mr. Gooseberg is going to also try to find a spot that's not just grass to hide after he advances a little forward.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Go ahead and give me your alertness.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: Close.
Speaker: 97 on a 43.
Speaker: Very close.
Speaker: All you're able to find is a blade of grass.
Speaker: So go ahead and roll me your stealth at base.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Such good stuff.
Speaker: Ooh, close.
Speaker: 58 on a 15.
Speaker: 58 on a 15.
Speaker: Owl rolled an ought nine.
Speaker: Cage falls from the sky and blocks you in.
Speaker: I always hated Boustrap.
Speaker: It's an eagle, not an owl.
Speaker: Oh, did I say owl?
Speaker: Twice.
Speaker: Oops, eagle.
Speaker: Yep, you are correct.
Speaker: It's an eagle.
Speaker: Samantha, it is your turn.
Speaker: Sam is also going to try and find something other than a blade of grass to hide behind.
Speaker: And what am I looking at for search?
Speaker: Alertness.
Speaker: Alertness.
Speaker: Or search.
Speaker: Did I say search before, too?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: That's why I'm asking.
Speaker: You can do either one.
Speaker: I think I said either one.
Speaker: Well, either way, it's a fail.
Speaker: Either way, it's a fail.
Speaker: So you just have a blade of grass as well.
Speaker: Give me a stealth at base.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm trapped.
Speaker: What'd you roll?
Speaker: That's a 65 out of 10.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: He rolled an 81 out of 50.
Speaker: So since his fail is higher than yours, you are safe.
Speaker: Oh, thank God.
Speaker: Ashley is going to search for something to hide behind.
Speaker: Literally.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: She rolled an 5 on her search, so she found a rock.
Speaker: So I'm going to give her a plus 30 to her roll.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: She's not even going to need it.
Speaker: She crit.
Speaker: She rolled a 44. 44.
Speaker: Oh, and the owl also rolled a 44.
Speaker: Oh, damn.
Speaker: Eagle, sorry.
Speaker: The eagle also rolled a 44.
Speaker: Okay, someone give me an odds or evens.
Speaker: Odds.
Speaker: Odds?
Speaker: Uh-huh.
Speaker: That was a 17, so she is safe.
Speaker: All right, because with a plus 30, her...
Speaker: her stealth was the same as the Eagles, and they both crit with a 44.
Speaker: So that's why it had to come down to that, because if one of them would have crit better, it would have been fine, but they were the same crit.
Speaker: Round two.
Speaker: You guys are at the edge of the grass.
Speaker: Let's see, there is Ryan and Samantha and Ashley are the three that are not captured.
Speaker: So you...
Speaker: The tall grass is done.
Speaker: You guys are in shorter grass now.
Speaker: You're basically kind of working your way up to what would be like the landscaping area.
Speaker: So you can find a couple like, you know how you put like borders around a garden or that kind of thing.
Speaker: Things like that.
Speaker: That will be sticking up out of the ground.
Speaker: Otherwise, if you can't find or get to something like that in time, you guys are in shorter grass, so it's not going to be pleasant.
Speaker: So
Speaker: Top of the round, Ryan.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Ryan is going to look for what looks like to him a rock, but it's probably a pebble or a big pebble.
Speaker: And is going to try to hide behind one of those.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This time I'm going to say you guys are out in the open enough.
Speaker: You don't really need to look.
Speaker: I'm going to give you a dex to see if you can get to it this time.
Speaker: Can I argue athletics?
Speaker: Give me odds or evens?
Speaker: Evens?
Speaker: All right, you can argue athletics.
Speaker: Woo!
Speaker: Your athletics is higher than your dexterity?
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: Oh, interesting.
Speaker: So once Ryan gets out of the long grass, he just full tilt sprints for the biggest rock he can see nearby.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is a 51 on a 60 for athletics.
Speaker: Okay, so you're able to get to it.
Speaker: You can add 20 to your roll.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: What does that mean exactly?
Speaker: I would have failed that.
Speaker: What do you mean?
Speaker: What does that mean?
Speaker: Like when you tell us to add 20 to the rolls.
Speaker: So we've been playing this long and you don't know what adding...
Speaker: Because you've never had me at it.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Oh, I'm sure I have.
Speaker: If I say add 20 and you go to your stealth and your stealth is the base 10%, anything over 10% fails.
Speaker: If I say add 20, now you're rolling against a 30 instead of a 10.
Speaker: Yeah, literally adding 20.
Speaker: It gives you a bigger chance of success.
Speaker: I thought you were adding it to the actual roll itself.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: That's why I was always confused.
Speaker: I'm like, why the fuck would you add 20 to that?
Speaker: Because then it's going to make you fail.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, it makes what you're rolling against easier.
Speaker: You know, I've told you multiple times that I have played D&D for I don't know how many years at this point, and I still don't fucking understand it.
Speaker: So you expect me to understand the rules of Delta Green in six months?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay, so now that the Delta Green crash course is done, what was it that you rolled?
Speaker: What was I adding to it again?
Speaker: Plus 20.
Speaker: Plus 20.
Speaker: Well, that is perfect, because that is a 55 on a modified 73.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And it rolled an 87 on its 50, so you are safe for the second round.
Speaker: Ned, you are trapped, but is there anything that you would like to try to do to give Samantha and Ashley advantage?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: If I can do that, I'm going to grab another flashlight out.
Speaker: So I have two flashlights and I'm going to start as high as I can hold them over my head.
Speaker: I don't know how tall the cage is or if I can get my arms through it.
Speaker: You can stand up.
Speaker: I'm going to...
Speaker: Oh, perfect.
Speaker: I'm going to like stick my hands as high as I can.
Speaker: I'm going to start trying to shine the lights away from all of us and try and kind of distract the eagle so that it's not able to see or that it wants to look at something different.
Speaker: Okay, perfect.
Speaker: I will give the eagle a... Hmm.
Speaker: I'll say a con roll.
Speaker: Constitution to see if it's able to keep on its path or if it gets distracted by you.
Speaker: 65, it failed, so it is looking at where you are pointing.
Speaker: Arthur, is there anything that you want to try to do?
Speaker: Well, since the eagle's distracted, I guess I got a higher view point, right?
Speaker: Or are we still already on the ground caught in the cage?
Speaker: You guys are on the ground caught in the cage.
Speaker: Okay, then I don't really know what I can do.
Speaker: I think I'm just going to look around and see if there's anything I can reach.
Speaker: What are you trying to reach?
Speaker: Is there anything I can?
Speaker: I mean, I'm sure you can find, like, I'm going to say, like, a stick or something, but that stick's going to be massive against you.
Speaker: So, yeah, probably not.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, it's already distracted, so I can't really do much, so... I don't really do anything.
Speaker: Okay, then it is up to Samantha.
Speaker: All right, so... Sam's gonna advance forward then and try to... I guess you just hide again behind a rock, maybe?
Speaker: Okay, by a rock or, like, by the...
Speaker: landscaping or something?
Speaker: Yeah, by the landscaping.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I let Ryan argue athletics so you can either give me a dex or an athletics to see if you can... I'm doing dex.
Speaker: My dex is higher than my athletics.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Whoa, that's a 48 on a 75.
Speaker: Okay, you're able to get to it.
Speaker: Go ahead and add 20 to your roll.
Speaker: Okay, that's like a 40 on a
Speaker: 95.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: 20 to your stealth roll, sweetheart.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I don't know what you want me to do here.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Stealth.
Speaker: So that would be what?
Speaker: 30 then?
Speaker: To 17 out of 30.
Speaker: 17 on a 30.
Speaker: That beats the ought seven on a 50.
Speaker: So you are safe.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Ashley is also going to do the same thing.
Speaker: How far away is this though?
Speaker: Like, are we like, I never asked you that before you have one more turn, but are we getting like close enough to even turn it off in one more turn?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I didn't know if it was like, you could only move a certain amount or whatever.
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: It's going to be, like I said, it's three turns.
Speaker: And that will determine, like, if you guys don't get caught in three turns, you're able to flip the lever.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: Ashley runs forward.
Speaker: She is also able to get behind a rock, but even... Oh, no.
Speaker: Wait, she has advantage because of Ned.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Cage falls from the sky and lands on her.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: Even with the advantage she's seen.
Speaker: She rolled a 98 and then an 88.
Speaker: So she went from crit fail to crit fail.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you guys are up to the third round.
Speaker: The final round.
Speaker: Ryan, you are still going to have advantage because it hasn't come back around to Ned's turn yet.
Speaker: But you are basically in the homestretch.
Speaker: You are running across the pavement of the driveway to get to this thing.
Speaker: There's nothing you can hide behind.
Speaker: You just gotta go.
Speaker: You just gotta go.
Speaker: Well, then he's going for it.
Speaker: Just the moment that Eagle isn't looking his way, he just jumps up behind the rock and just books it.
Speaker: Okay, give me a... I'll let you do athletics again.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: 54 on a 60.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Thank you, Tiny Dice.
Speaker: 62 on a 50.
Speaker: You are able to get to the base of the eagle without being seen.
Speaker: Ryan is going to sprint for that lever and just dive and slam it down.
Speaker: As you dive and slam it down, the cages around the other three shoot back up into the sky as the lights turn off again.
Speaker: As the light comes back on, you are back in the room.
Speaker: Ryan, you are face first on the ground because you like straight up dove for that lever.
Speaker: You are face first on the ground, but the lever for the eagle is still facing down.
Speaker: And you guys hear what almost sounds like gears from somewhere that you can't see.
Speaker: as the statue of the eagle slides back into the wall and is flush with the wall.
Speaker: Are we back in the building, guys?
Speaker: I think so.
Speaker: Ned turns off his two flashlights with his arms in the air.
Speaker: You just don't care?
Speaker: I might care a little.
Speaker: Care too much.
Speaker: A lot of much.
Speaker: I will say, Ned, you really did help on that one.
Speaker: The eagle originally rolled a 12.
Speaker: I still think God hates me.
Speaker: I thought being in camouflage would have given me some sort of advantage.
Speaker: I already had the mechanics in my brain.
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: So you guys are still in the room.
Speaker: The room is still locked and there are still five levers that can be flipped.
Speaker: So which one are we doing next?
Speaker: Ned goes and pulls the gluttony lever.
Speaker: I was just about to say, anyone hungry?
Speaker: Oh, fuck.
Speaker: So you guys pull the lever for the gluttony.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: Ned does.
Speaker: Ned makes the stupid decision.
Speaker: The room goes dark.
Speaker: When the lights come back on, you find yourself in a forest.
Speaker: And the...
Speaker: bear statue is on the far side of the room.
Speaker: You look around.
Speaker: Nothing is really happening.
Speaker: And the bear statue is the same size as it was.
Speaker: So it's still just normal bear statue size.
Speaker: As you look around, you see
Speaker: that you are standing in front of a tree that has a hole in it.
Speaker: And inside the hole is some honey.
Speaker: You see the hole with the honey behind you.
Speaker: And again, you hear those gears start moving.
Speaker: And you hear, or on the tree,
Speaker: above the hole, you see the words get burned into the bark real quick that says, stop the bear from reaching the honey.
Speaker: And as the gears start, you see the statue starts moving towards the tree.
Speaker: Basically, what this one is, is you literally have to stop the bear from moving.
Speaker: I eat all the honey.
Speaker: Well, I mean, you will lose.
Speaker: I mean, that wasn't in the rules.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: You're not wrong, but there's a lot of honey.
Speaker: I eat all the honey.
Speaker: The bear will get to you before you are able to eat all the honey.
Speaker: And the hole is only big enough that only one person can stand there.
Speaker: So you can't all eat the honey at the same time.
Speaker: Can we scoop all the honey out?
Speaker: I mean, I guess technically you could, but the bear would still reach the tree.
Speaker: You'd still lose.
Speaker: Is the lose condition that the bear gets the honey or that the bear gets to the tree?
Speaker: So think about this basically as a round of Overwatch.
Speaker: Why are you bringing up games that I don't play?
Speaker: Likewise.
Speaker: The bear is the payload.
Speaker: If it makes it to the end of the track, you guys lose.
Speaker: I rip up the track.
Speaker: Are you Superman?
Speaker: How do you plan on doing that?
Speaker: Is there an actual track?
Speaker: There is indeed an actual track.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh, I actually legit have an idea.
Speaker: I've got a couple, but I want to hear yours before I go stupid.
Speaker: Don't worry.
Speaker: Melanie might lead you there.
Speaker: Sorry, I'm having contractions, so my brain is not really fully here, so I apologize.
Speaker: That's a bad lead-in.
Speaker: I have a bad idea.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Sam looks at everybody and goes, what if we just pushed a rock onto the track to kind of slow it down at least?
Speaker: Like a large rock, not just a pebble or something.
Speaker: I was thinking the same thing.
Speaker: See?
Speaker: That's stupid.
Speaker: Is this track like an actual train track track?
Speaker: It's not like a train track, no.
Speaker: It's basically by looking at the track, you can tell that there is one post with a gear around it, and the gear is spinning, and that is what's moving it up the track.
Speaker: So it's a monorail.
Speaker: Kinda, yeah.
Speaker: Did I miss how big is the statue that's now railing towards us?
Speaker: It's moving relatively slow.
Speaker: Like, it's not, like, speed demoning its way to you.
Speaker: But the statue has not grown at all.
Speaker: It's the same size.
Speaker: It's about as tall as you guys are.
Speaker: So... You have... Arthur, are you going to help me push this boulder onto the track?
Speaker: Let's do it.
Speaker: Sam starts trying to push a rock.
Speaker: I was going to say, you have three rounds of ideas before the bear gets to the tree.
Speaker: Arthur helps.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me a search.
Speaker: Search?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I can see a fucking rock.
Speaker: You're in the fucking woods.
Speaker: So?
Speaker: Damn it.
Speaker: Apparently I don't see a rock in the woods because I got a 39 out of a 28.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I have a 24.
Speaker: I don't see shit.
Speaker: Does anybody want to lend a help action?
Speaker: Ryan has his own plan, so he's busy.
Speaker: I'll roll a search to try and help with that.
Speaker: 46 on a 40.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: We are not a rock at all.
Speaker: Jordan, I'm spending the luck.
Speaker: I was going to say you could burn six luck.
Speaker: Yeah, I am.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You are able to find a rock that would fit down into the divot of the track.
Speaker: Is this a rock or is this a boulder?
Speaker: It's a rock.
Speaker: That's a nice boulder.
Speaker: I'm looking for a boulder.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm looking for a boulder.
Speaker: That's a nice boulder.
Speaker: The divot for the track is only about as big as your fist.
Speaker: I want the rock to be bigger.
Speaker: Put a boulder there, then it'll stop the fucking statue.
Speaker: I thought you were trying to put something into the mechanics to break the mechanics.
Speaker: Is it a bowl?
Speaker: No, hell no.
Speaker: If I want to do that, I'll just stick a knife in the track.
Speaker: I want to put a fucking boulder on this damn thing.
Speaker: To stop the statue.
Speaker: Duh.
Speaker: You guys do realize you're teenagers, right?
Speaker: I pull out my dog leash to give me more power to pull it.
Speaker: If we all work together, we can move a boulder.
Speaker: It's not like we're weak, tiny teenagers or four-year-olds.
Speaker: We're at least 18 and 19 years old.
Speaker: We have some muscle.
Speaker: I'm not.
Speaker: Shut up, Ned.
Speaker: Yeah, speak for yourself.
Speaker: Shut up, Arthur.
Speaker: I was going to say, you do realize.
Speaker: How big of a rock can I find?
Speaker: You do realize how heavy big rocks are, right?
Speaker: No shit, Sherlock.
Speaker: We got four of them in the yard.
Speaker: But if I had two other people to help me move the goddamn thing, I could do it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, you're able to find big rocks.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Let me, let me specify.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm not talking about like a fucking rock that rolled in front of Jesus's tomb.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: I'm talking about a large rock that would fit over the fucking track that stopped the fucking bear from moving.
Speaker: So like at least two feet around, but not like eight feet fucking wide.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: And on the third day he was risen.
Speaker: But he wasn't because Melanie took his rock.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're, you guys are able to find a rock.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Who wants to come help me lift this up real quick?
Speaker: I will.
Speaker: I will as well.
Speaker: So we can go to the quickest.
Speaker: Ryan, can I have your help too?
Speaker: Brian went to the bear statue.
Speaker: I don't know what the fuck you're doing.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So since I found the rock, you guys mind if I take the lead on this one?
Speaker: Jordan, how heavy is this rock?
Speaker: It's fucking heavy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Can we hold it at chest height?
Speaker: The three of you?
Speaker: Probably not.
Speaker: How about at knee height?
Speaker: What about with Ashley's help?
Speaker: I forgot Ashley was here.
Speaker: Suck it.
Speaker: It'll be close.
Speaker: You guys will have to roll some really important strength checks.
Speaker: Can I roll a constitution check to push myself a little harder than I probably should?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But I don't like asking for rolls, but this one I really want to see work.
Speaker: I will make a deal with you.
Speaker: You can roll the constitution check to push yourself further than you can, or than you should.
Speaker: If you fail the constitution roll, you're taking damage.
Speaker: I will accept those odds.
Speaker: Significant damage.
Speaker: I will accept those odds.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Better fucking pass this goddamn roll.
Speaker: I got a 60 on an 80.
Speaker: Holy fuck yeah.
Speaker: I thought that was a 90 for a second.
Speaker: I was going to be like, oh, no.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Thank you, little line on the bottom of my dice.
Speaker: You're very lucky because if you had failed, I was going to tell you my other stipulation that you cannot burn luck.
Speaker: Yeah, I kind of saw that coming, but I am also down 66 luck.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: You're able to push yourself, which means I'm not going to give you the disadvantage that I was going to give you.
Speaker: I'm still making you guys roll strength, though.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All of us together right now?
Speaker: I mean, yes, but I'm also very curious in what Ryan is doing.
Speaker: You want to do his stuff first before we move around?
Speaker: Yeah, why don't we do that?
Speaker: We're going to have fun.
Speaker: I'm going to start a separate group chat real quick without Jordan.
Speaker: Rock chat.
Speaker: Rock chat.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: This is the fucking door all over again.
Speaker: Yes, it will be.
Speaker: Every fucking arc is going to have one, isn't it?
Speaker: You can thank your unborn daughter for stealing all my brain cells tonight, okay?
Speaker: Ryan, what are you doing?
Speaker: So Ryan is going over to the bear statue and taking out the pocket knife that he got from cryptic crafts.
Speaker: And seeing that gear moving is just ramming the entire knife, handle everything into it.
Speaker: Just feeding it into it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: And then after...
Speaker: Oh, go ahead.
Speaker: And then after that, he's going to start shoving as much dirt and rocks next to the bear statue as he can just into the gears.
Speaker: Do you have anything in heavy machinery?
Speaker: Heavy machinery?
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: Just the base 10.
Speaker: Go ahead and roll me a heavy machinery at plus 20.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I like where you're going with this.
Speaker: A lot more than a fucking rock.
Speaker: You said plus 20?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You're just a party pooper.
Speaker: It's not a rock, it's a boulder.
Speaker: It's a nice boulder.
Speaker: It's a 34 on a 30, but I'm going to burn the forelock.
Speaker: Burn the forelock.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: So go ahead and mark your sheet that you burned the forelock.
Speaker: You are able to slow it down pretty significantly.
Speaker: It's not going to stop it.
Speaker: It is just going to slow it down.
Speaker: So let's go fucking resolve Tweedledee, Tweedledum, and Tweedled whatever.
Speaker: It's lock, shock, and barrel, sweetheart.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: God, I hope one of you ends up breaking your back out of this.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Give me your strength checks, y'all.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: This this is this is what I am getting right now from you, Jordan.
Speaker: Do you remember the episode of SpongeBob where SpongeBob and Squidward are going off to deliver pizza?
Speaker: Pizza, pizza for you and me.
Speaker: It's not a bone room.
Speaker: It's a rock.
Speaker: That's your Squidbird.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do we find a pizza?
Speaker: But no drink.
Speaker: No, they brought the pizza, bitch.
Speaker: So it is the same rock.
Speaker: That's what I'm getting now.
Speaker: This is a big rock.
Speaker: We got it.
Speaker: Just stop any fucking statue.
Speaker: That's our height.
Speaker: Just roll your fucking strength checks.
Speaker: You got it.
Speaker: I rolled mine while we were waiting.
Speaker: And so it was a... Where'd my strength go?
Speaker: A 49 out of... Dude, are you serious?
Speaker: You rolled a 22?
Speaker: I also rolled a 22.
Speaker: I rolled a 49 out of 75.
Speaker: You're supposed to roll a 22.
Speaker: I don't have a 22.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So we have two crit successes and one regular success.
Speaker: You guys are able to pick up the boulder.
Speaker: It was chosen.
Speaker: To chest level.
Speaker: You guys see that Ryan has already done good work to slow it down.
Speaker: And we're going to do the coup de grace.
Speaker: You put this boulder on the track in front of the bear statue.
Speaker: No, sir.
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: No, sir.
Speaker: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker: Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Speaker: Let's back it up.
Speaker: We have it at chest height now.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: All right, y'all.
Speaker: So we're holding it.
Speaker: We got it.
Speaker: On three.
Speaker: Let's push down real hard.
Speaker: Let's just try and smash this motherfucker.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: Three, two, one.
Speaker: Shove.
Speaker: And we smash it.
Speaker: We smash your track.
Speaker: Oh, you're trying to smash the track?
Speaker: Yes, sir.
Speaker: Worst comes to worst, it just sits on it like Melanie wanted.
Speaker: Or that Sam wanted.
Speaker: That was a very upset roll.
Speaker: Even more so that it was a crit fail.
Speaker: Our Onga Bunga technique worked.
Speaker: The room goes dark.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: You guys find yourself back in the room and the bear statue slides into the wall.
Speaker: Why do I fucking bother making puzzles for you people?
Speaker: Because we find rocks and say, fuck your puzzles.
Speaker: You said we were in a forest.
Speaker: You put it on yourself.
Speaker: I don't know what that had to do with gluttony, but I had fun with a big rock.
Speaker: You stopped the fucking bear from reaching the food.
Speaker: Okay, but I want to know how the puzzle was supposed to go.
Speaker: The puzzle was supposed to go, you were supposed to stop the thing.
Speaker: So yeah, technically you guys did it.
Speaker: I didn't have like a, oh, this is the exact way it has to go.
Speaker: I wanted to see how innovative you were going to be.
Speaker: I didn't think you were going to throw a boulder at it.
Speaker: I'm going to go.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: It's logical.
Speaker: Fucking thinking.
Speaker: And then there's the three baboons.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, Breck.
Speaker: F, after the door incident, were you truly expecting them to make the logical, smart decision?
Speaker: You know, I was hoping and praying, and this just proves to me there is no God.
Speaker: Because I prayed hard.
Speaker: You are God.
Speaker: I can't stop it.
Speaker: Caveman ingenuity can't beat it.
Speaker: I'm going to be fair.
Speaker: Like, I thought feeding my knife into it was going to be unga bunga, but you guys took it to a whole nother level.
Speaker: Oh yeah, they did.
Speaker: Don't you dare try to out dumb me.
Speaker: So Jordan, what's the next ring with a good big rock?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, there's never going to be rocks.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: No rocks.
Speaker: Rocks were helpful.
Speaker: Elth and rocks were helpful in that one.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: No more rocks.
Speaker: And that's just where we're going to end this episode.
Speaker: broke did his toy yeah you did i'm gonna have to rethink these other four i think our plan rocked i mean once we're on a roll god damn it you were supposed to be on my side i mean i was and then you did a pun and i have to go with the puns always that's fair
Speaker: Rock pun.
Speaker: By the way, Arthur, when you guys dropped the rock, it landed on you.
Speaker: You are now dead.
Speaker: I was wondering what my repercussion for a pun was going to be.
Speaker: Let's Play Pretend is Nick Barnett as Ned Dalaran, Breck Black as Ryan Winchester, Matt Check as Arthur Gooseberg, Melanie Derringer as Samantha Williams, and me, Jordan Derringer, as your GM, DM, handler, keeper, and host.
Speaker: Keep up with us to hear firsthand on any fun new developments that may be coming in the future.
Speaker: There's gonna be fun new developments coming in the future.
Speaker: And we will see you all here in two weeks' time.
