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Barry Jay and Healing Spaces LLC
24 Plays6 months ago
Having some fun with Barry Jay from Healing Spaces LLC. Learning more about energy and how it impacts our well being. You can find Barry online at https://healingspacesllc.com/ He is also on Facebook and Instagram as HealingSpacesLLC.
Let's take away the stuffy stigma of mental health therapy. TheraSisters is here to eliminate that stuffy stigma with giggles and glimmers. Celebrating the courage to seek help. Let’s explore the different styles of healing that showcase unique journeys of wellbeing.
Follow TheraSistersStL on Instagram and Facebook. Check out our website too, https://www.therasistersstl.com/
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Transcript
Introduction to 'There are Sisters' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Are we recording right now? Recording right now? There are sisters, giggles, and glimmers. Oh my. Hi. Hi. Welcome. Yay. Yes. Where are we today? We are. Ooh. Hi. I'm Catherine Barton. And we're my base friends. Yes. And I'm Amy K. Bryan. And we are the There
Catherine's Car Buying Experience
00:00:25
Speaker
are Sisters. There are sisters. Yes. So welcome to our podcast today.
00:00:29
Speaker
Katherine, just to catch up and touch base. What's new? What's new? Oh my. What are some things you've been up to? I'm not even sure. I feel like I shared a lot of what was new with me today already. Interesting. So looking for a new car, learning that process. Well, so that's a thing. Learning how to buy a new car so that I can feel confident that I can go in there and do it myself. Yeah. And so that's been a thing, right?
00:00:59
Speaker
learning all the things, learning the words, learning who I need to talk to first, and then the confidence to go in. I did test drive a car the other day and the guy was asking me, so what do you want your monthly payment to me?
00:01:12
Speaker
I didn't want to tell them what I wanted to be, so I was like, how do I say that in a nice way that doesn't feel? So anyway, I stood on my ground, I was confident, and said, nope, this is how I want to do this. And they were like, OK, good job. Yeah, I felt very proud. Yes, that's awesome. So that's something. There you go. That is something.
RoboCon and Robotics Enthusiasm
00:01:29
Speaker
Yes. I get to go to Chicago this weekend. Yay! For RoboCon, and I know. Not for me. It's not my brain that doesn't have RoboCon. It's my son's brain. So yeah, looking forward to that. We're going to spend a couple extra days.
00:01:41
Speaker
get cold in the windy city. So what are we doing today?
Barry's Holistic Healing Approach
00:01:46
Speaker
We are talking to Barry McClintock. And there's a fly. Join us in our poops. Yes, there comes me in our poops. Dr. Susan. Yes, it is kind of. What were those called? Snaffles or it was like the snarfs. Snarfs?
00:02:06
Speaker
I don't know. All I'm thinking is, snuffle up like this. Oh, these are the things. It sounds like it. Yes, I like it. Good morning, everyone. Good morning. Good morning. Afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon. Yeah, afternoon.
00:02:28
Speaker
This is our second time doing our podcast with you, because we are always learning until we really appreciate you. Absolutely. I am always a willing anything. Well, thank you for being that. But tell us again, your, you know, way of healing yourself and others. So it's a little multifaceted at this point in my life.
00:02:56
Speaker
I'm kind of in two different ventures. One that is primarily in the spiritual realm and one that's primarily kind of in the mental-emotional realm. So I own healing spaces with Sean Kitts, my partner, and we offer alternative healing modalities like restorative energy, which is hands-on energy work of a massage table or sitting up, transformative breath work. I think I can call it that.
00:03:26
Speaker
but it's called, but you can't call it that because it's copyrighted. So some sort of transformative record. And we offer spatial flow, which is kind of a combo space clearing service and spatial arrangement to just really maximize the energy flow in your home, business, office space, things like that.
00:03:48
Speaker
And then I'm also signing on to be a full-time therapist again. Yes. So finishing some misery licensure hours, being a licensed clinician and helping the people. Cool. So then breath work, healing, right?
Spatial Flow and Environmental Impact on Well-being
00:04:11
Speaker
And mental health healing. And then the spatial. Now I know you talked about the spatial before about
00:04:17
Speaker
going in and kind of feeling the energy and kind of cleaning out what might need to or heal what's in the environment. But I don't, like, what is the arrangement piece? Well, so kind of to give an overview of the service in general is we're really looking at like the energetic imprint or the energetic kind of feel that the space is holding.
00:04:46
Speaker
So if you think about it, like when you're at a party and everybody's kind of like getting together and there's a lot of wild and energy, like you can feel that when you step in as the newcomer. You can also feel when you're in like a serious meeting and maybe like somebody who's reprimanded, right? And then you kind of come in and there's like this tense energy. These spaces, our surroundings, like hold this energy. Some of our homes have held up for years and years and years, right? I live in a hundred-year-old home myself and so constantly clearing it.
00:05:12
Speaker
So there's the aspect of looking at what our spaces is holding energetically and hearing the story in that way. But there's also, to me, I think like every object has an energy of itself. And I don't know if this comes from my art background, but there was always this relationship between positive and negative space when you were kind of composing a piece or like looking at a piece of artwork. What's the amount of negative and positive space that you're visually creating for movement of this piece or like for interaction with it?
00:05:43
Speaker
I felt the same with, I guess you could call it an animal object. I always call it an animal object. So everything has like a life of a soul, you know, and wants to kick it with us. But so there is this energy kind of with each item and stories attached to each item, right? So our belongings, our attachments to our belongings. And so when we're looking at arrangement, it might be how are we storying the pieces of our environment
00:06:11
Speaker
around us that is continuing or externally showing the story internally. So if I internally really value relationships, can I put pictures of my friends, families, and loved ones up around me to be surrounded by that? Or if I am kind of in this really, maybe like low or cluttered state internally, it's my external environment also kind of
00:06:40
Speaker
cluttered and filled, right? And so we just kind of come in and help you as a guide feel out what's happening in your space and work with what shows up and what's present. That's interesting. How does that like, I guess, go along with healing or how does that kind of incorporate the healing part? I think it's the first time people can recognize that there's a relationship between you and your environment.
00:07:08
Speaker
that we're constantly relating with one another. And so our homes are here to support us, right? Our spaces are here to help uplift us if they can. Yes, and feel safe and secure. Yeah. Right. And so it's this first look of awareness for individuals to be cognizant of how they could be contributing to their mental health, their emotional well-being through just the physical aspects of what's around them.
00:07:35
Speaker
And it's a good external cue to see what's happening with you inside. If I've got a messy home, what's happening inside? But I'm not really having the energy to go and clean it up and never pick it up. Or even the connection to certain pieces, or perhaps the unwillingness to release pieces. Yes. So I'm curious. I have some family members who have a hard time
00:08:02
Speaker
leasing objects. Yeah. And so is that something like if you went and had this energy, do you think that, I don't know, there could be a better explanation for that person of why they might be holding on to something and how to help them transition from holding on to it? I think the magic and the specialness of like feeling the energy helps open the conversation. Okay. Yes.
00:08:28
Speaker
Right. Whereas like somebody who kind of comes in and is organizing, may have an agenda of like, all right, we're going to get rid of this, we're going to do this, we're going to add that. And many don't, right? That's not really the most ethical way to practice. And I think that's been looked at over the years. But I think the magic behind this is creating the space for a conversation to take place, for a pause, for things to just be looked at with a more critical eye.
00:08:55
Speaker
And so it would really just be helping that individual by asking questions, right? And opening the space of what's, why is this important? And then also you're just, the energy that you're picking up too, you can maybe provide some kind of insight or clarity. Yeah, because sometimes we don't know that there is, there are these stories or attachments to these items or just the way that we're being with our spaces. And so I might pick out a piece and be like,
00:09:23
Speaker
What is, you know, like what's this trunk that's like in the middle of the room? You know, actually that was my dad's and it was like really intrusive in my life. And I'm like, look at how much space it's taking up in the living room.
00:09:35
Speaker
And they're like, whoa, get out of here. So that has happened. There have been pieces where like the bedroom furniture was from a parent. It was like, so mom and dad are like in the bedroom with us. They're like, oh no. They're like, okay. So they're like, buy all of this. It's nothing to spend money, but it's the intention to think what felt wrong. And now that I understand a little bit more, what are the changes that can take place?
00:10:03
Speaker
It's so cool. Yeah. It's so cool.
Exploring Breathwork for Emotional Healing
00:10:07
Speaker
And then there's the breath work. And Shonda is the breath work. And that really is, I think, as far as I've experienced, it's just a safe way to kind of subtly be in this transcendental state that releases the need
00:10:27
Speaker
allow them to kind of step back in a safe and gentle way so that we can get to the healing underneath, right? And IFS, we would say the exiles beneath the protectors or the inner child wounds, however you want to name that. We do a lot around barricading and creating safety so that those parts don't get touched. And sometimes talk therapy still provides the mechanisms of modality to talk about the protection around it. And the breath work really
00:10:57
Speaker
just gently dips you into, here's the stuff, here's what's here. And you can just release it. It's more of a physical somatic release and experience that doesn't necessarily have to cognizantly be like felt or processed. And I think that's where someone's gonna get stuck, right? So like Peter Levine talks about the polar bear that gets like tranquilized to do test studies on. Once it wakes up, when it's returned to its environment, it just shakes it off.
00:11:26
Speaker
well, you know, it's not gonna wake up tomorrow and feel like it's our tranquilizer somewhere in the area. It's gonna be like, well, we'll do the day. And I think where we get stuck as humans with this wonderful, beautiful prefrontal cortex and all of the ways that we can think about things, there's like that analysis paralysis, right? And so any time that I think that we can gently shut that off and get the wisdom of the body, which is mostly just wanting to release, to turn on,
00:11:56
Speaker
powerful, powerful opportunity. And also just the release. So you're kind of softening, right, those barriers so that, yeah, that information is more accessible. Yes. And then also just all of that that's been held in is getting released. Yes. So the physical energetics and the mapping system of the body is
00:12:17
Speaker
that there's this fear belt in between this area of like the heart and lung space and more of the deeper diaphragm area. So a lot of us don't allow our breath to get deeper into and past that fear that we hold on to, right? So we have a lot of anxiety symptoms in the world. So that deep breathing is literally shoveling and excavating those deeper health emotions that we just don't tap into as much.
00:12:44
Speaker
Yeah. It took me a minute. Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. And then we do the energy work, which is on, um, so it's either.
Safe Touch in Energy Work
00:12:58
Speaker
So we're sort of energy is all about utilizing what's called like universal life force energy. Um, it's like, we all have it. It's what animates and, um, creates like life. Right. And that's the other thing with breath work is like breath equals life.
00:13:15
Speaker
And I think there's like the root of the word is something like life. Sean conversation. I guess I'm real funny. We can root and breath is life. It probably is. I don't recall it as exactly as that. So what we're doing with the energy work, and I've thought about this so differently over the years. When I first started, it was like, oh, I'm working with the chakras. I'm like this energy, the subtle energy in the body. And that still is the thing.
00:13:44
Speaker
But there's also just this importance now in my life and in my journey with this healing modality to create safe physical touch. Because through safe physical touch, our body has the chance to rest and to pause. And when we think about things like the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous systems, the whole catchphrase, at least what I was learning in bio, which I got to see.
00:14:18
Speaker
for the parasympathetic, because the other thing was like, parasympathetic, so they come in afterwards and help you out. So there was all these little sketch ways. So rest and digest is so important exactly for those two words, for our body to no longer be in this hyperarousal state, or for it to come up in a safe, fluctuated way from hypoarousal. Because when we're in our, what's it called,
00:14:49
Speaker
Like your norm state, there's like a word. A norm state. Homeostasis. Oh, there you go! Yes! It takes a drill! When you're in this like homeostasis state, your body just kind of naturally knows what it needs to do to start the healing work. Okay. And sometimes that is, I just have more space to think about
00:15:26
Speaker
come up and be felt and released. Or my body physically is now no longer inflamed because it's rested and I'm just in less pain. So it's a very like
00:15:40
Speaker
a multi something, yeah, type of working with mind, body and spirit. Yeah. So is it similar? I guess I'm envisioning like Reiki. You know how people go over the body, I guess. Is it similar? It is very similar. It is hands-on and it can also be hands-off. I really prefer hands-on because again, I'm about creating that safe and
00:16:07
Speaker
What are the words here that I'm looking for? Reparative. Experience with touch.
00:16:16
Speaker
I lost what I was saying because I was thinking of the word preparedness. Oh, so it can be hands on and it can be hands off. Um, so it's trauma informed in that way. And we also just, I went to Kansas city over the weekend and it was like, and they never an eight hour drive there and back, but I got a table that now inclines. And so if there is trauma with laying down right in the vulnerable position that is and calls for, then you can be reclined and we can even practice maybe
00:16:44
Speaker
work towards that laying down. You've got it. Awesome. Yes. Okay.
Safe Touch in Counseling Practices
00:16:49
Speaker
So I was very excited to get that to you all because I want to provide this as an adjunctive service in mental health because I think the paradigm of mental health is created in that safety for the
00:17:00
Speaker
you know, for society in general, to lean in and be like, this is the thing that's like hopeful and, you know, it's a thing. Right, right. And there's also one thing. Yes. There's more than one way to get healing. Right. And I think these alternative modalities are coming online for people to be like, that's also a thing. And so I'm trying to make sure that I compare it with these other paradigms that currently exist in a grounded way so people get it, you know. And I can see where that touch
00:17:29
Speaker
is really helpful for people who have experienced touch trauma, right, of some sort, whatever way it was, so that they can accept that kind touch and that safe touch and
00:17:43
Speaker
Because there is something, right? Don't we need to be hugged like so many times a day? And there's been studies about it. And I've worked with survivors of sexual abuse who experienced possession. And then now they know their body's capacity a bit more. So they'll go back with their partner and they'll say, okay, this area feels, I know this area feels
00:18:07
Speaker
you can come towards me. And there's what you're in the relationship. It's like so deep. Deep man. That's why I love this work because every session, every moment is so different and tailored and special and safe. Yeah. It's a soul meeting another soul and we're all just walking each other home and we're just trying to figure out the best way to exist.
00:18:36
Speaker
stuff. Yeah, thank you. Yes, and so will you be bringing that into your counseling on some level? It's a conversation of like how that takes place. I think that through experiencing this over the years I have some ability to mentally or guide somebody mentally through working with their own
00:19:03
Speaker
touch aspect is not necessarily something that has to be experienced, at least under the, you know, the guides of counseling and the guidelines and everything else that are there for a reason. And I think that as an adjunctive service for like maybe clients in the practice or clients that another practitioner is seeing to be able to
00:19:29
Speaker
and sessions, I think that this is a way and for the client to experience a deeper moment or a different way of feeling or being with themself when possible, when they feel safe and comfortable. So it's like in works, it's in the works. Yeah, but it's like, okay, if not mine, then like your clients, right? Like clients for the community. So I'm already thinking. I know. I know. I am. Yeah. And I think it's still
00:19:58
Speaker
It's so interesting because I think about couples, right? And that's the work that you do. When I was at a fair this Easter weekend in San
00:20:07
Speaker
there was a mom and a son. And it was the first underage individual that I had the opportunity to provide this practice for, because I'm, you know, like an alternate, the good and the bad, you know, you know. But this boy was like, I want to do this. I saw you guys. I want to like hang out. I was like, you're so cool. And so I said that, you know, mom, you can be present, you know, just for all the consent reasons and
00:20:36
Speaker
to have her there watching the experience, watching her son rest, watching her son deal with himself in this way. And it was powerful for her to see him, you know, different, and for just the whole experience to happen. And so I just wonder about couples experiencing them, right? You know, and if I create this tension with my partner, if I can learn how or see how that can be mitigated in any way,
00:21:04
Speaker
Yes, even just seeing that tension in a different way, you know, like it's something that makes so many of my clients, you know, even before I approach my partner, I'm already tense, right? And so I bring that tenseness to the conversation when I'm not even realizing it, or maybe my partner has no idea that I'm already tense or nervous to them, but like putting it in this different space, this different perspective of like, what do we do with this? Yes, creating intentionality around it and safety around it.
00:21:33
Speaker
It's so great. Just seeing a partner deeply breathe. There's so many possibilities for this experience. So it's really cool. And it's cool to have a tone in both worlds because then I get it, you know. God, that sounded so good to know what I was about to say. I'm not putting anybody. I don't want to make a practitioner out of a thing. I'm like, oh, I'm going to attend to the time. Let's get to the world.
00:21:57
Speaker
Like I've worked with this eight years and I've also worked in the mental health field. And so I'm seeing how these things work together. And we have the modality of like somatic experiencing, which recognizes the importance of bringing the body online in this downtown way.
00:22:14
Speaker
and try to blend them because I think it's possible. I think
Holistic Wellness Practices
00:22:18
Speaker
it's necessary. Yeah, I was gonna say, it's definitely possible and I think it's definitely important because the more this mental health awareness is accepted and people are getting the help, but I mean, our minds and bodies are connected and our spirituality, right? It's all connected. Our body's telling us things, our mind is telling us things and yeah. And there's something about
00:22:44
Speaker
the spiritual practices that, so you don't even have to be spiritual, I think, right? I think what the spiritual practices provide is that moment of pause for the body wisdom to kind of like just come online or to be present. Because so many, especially in our Western world, of our practices in our day-to-day life is mental and is being on a screen or being in our mental energy, being in our brain. And being emotional.
00:23:12
Speaker
is not strong, right? And then I'm sure the spiritual piece of it too, people could take it however, but it could also have a negative connotation. You're just woo out there. We're all one. We are really still.
00:23:29
Speaker
have to be fully on board to at least allow these meditative or mindful practices to be a part of Western living, right? It can be all the things. Right. It can be, yeah. Not appropriated or anything like that, but like incorporated and we can learn from that. Yes, yeah. And I think society too is
00:23:51
Speaker
Um, we're kind of taught to ignore our bodies or we're taught to ignore some of our instincts or we're taught to, you know, Oh, I'll give you something to cry about or push that down or, you know, like emotions aren't safe.
Creating Safe Emotional Spaces for Men
00:24:06
Speaker
So don't talk about them or don't feel uncomfortable. I don't want to be uncomfortable. So it's like bringing it.
00:24:13
Speaker
up to the forefront so that it's okay. It's natural. We embrace them and understand them. And I think that women in our society have
00:24:24
Speaker
provided such a great space and path for us to follow around. Thank you. Yes, tapping in and turning into the importance of that. And so it's really important now to bring men online and to say, this is a path that's valuable. And they need it. We want it. We need it. I am trying to teach my young son, it's OK to cry and feel and express and to hold that.
00:24:53
Speaker
And sometimes being so out of the men's sphere, even though I'm a man presenting myself, I'll still hear the conversation centered around like, it's okay for men to cry. I'm like, yo, still here with that, but we are. Okay, cool. Let's dive into that. Anytime a man is on the table or comes in to do healing work with young spaces or just there, I'm like, let's do this. You know, such opportunity because
00:25:20
Speaker
Men really are the containers, the holders, that masculine energy, which we all have, is to contain and direct and to guide and to move things forward. So if we have this energy that's like moving us all forward in some way, why not do it with this like mindset of like wholeness and cooperation, quality of emotions, like that we're all connected in this way that's not where we maybe still are with like,
00:25:48
Speaker
defense and attack and like, you know, what's mine, what's yours? It's not working. No. All of the time, all of the women have opened this door to say like, this is important. I'm like, listen, you know. And you're sharing it too though. You're also a part of it. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I'm curious your guys' perspective on, um, cause I love the idea of making that space and bringing, making that comfortable and bringing it,
00:26:19
Speaker
I'm giving it its face, I guess.
Balancing Emotions in Work Environments
00:26:21
Speaker
I'm also curious about the time and space for it, you know, because are there situations where it doesn't feel appropriate or situations where it feels like... I guess I'll just be honest of where this is coming from. My husband and I talk about this a lot in the sense of he owns a business and he has people that work for him and sometimes they come to him with personal stuff or they struggle maybe on the job and have something come up.
00:26:47
Speaker
And it's like, oh my gosh, we need to get through the day. We have a job to get done. How do we get to the end of the day? Right. And so we kind of go back and forth of these ideas of like, um, even raising our daughter and teaching her to be productive and get through a day and also being able to have those emotions. You know, like, is it okay to be emotional in the middle of the day at work when you're in office or when you're, you know, on the job site or whatever it is. Right. And so what do we do with that?
00:27:16
Speaker
you know because I'm someone who like
00:27:19
Speaker
I, like you said earlier, I cry kind of personally, I cry even in my car by myself, you know, or I cry in the shower or when I find someone who's like uncomfortable with, I give them a hug and I can cry with them, you know? And so I don't know, I guess, I don't know where this is going, but like just your thoughts. It makes me think about how to integrate it into leadership aspects, right? And so like how we respond to when it comes and shows itself. So it's really important for them, the leaders of like a business or just even just any
00:27:47
Speaker
that you're working with alongside, but in how we respond and how we're just aware that
00:27:53
Speaker
it showing up is not such a detriment or such a problem and just providing a moment of space to be like, got it. I see you. I understand. Let's chat about this, you know, like whenever, like, you know, wherever that works and let's still get through this day. It's such a different. It's not a decision. Just go ahead. Right. Just do your work and then you can deal with it. It's more of like, oh, you're having a hard time.
00:28:20
Speaker
I'm here, let's just sit for a moment if you need to take a breath, and then come back in, right? So yes, honoring that emotion. Yeah, yeah. Could we have more of that? Right, I know. And that comes from understanding the importance and building the foundation of the importance of it so that when the awareness is needed, that's what's drawn on and not the trauma responses, which are what we live through. And I think as a society, just continue to push forward of the
00:28:47
Speaker
stop crying or like, that's weird, or you know, it's like, oh, this is a thing. I may not even know how to respond. It's like the Brene Brown combo. Like, I'm not really sure what to say right now. I'm just so glad that you've shared.
00:28:59
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. What I mean, like just in my body when I hear that I feel like, okay, I can get through it because we all have our resources. We can all do this. We've got our capacities and capabilities. And I think we should all really, truly rely on ourselves and trust on ourselves more than we do. But just to have been able to be witness for a moment, if that's what you need to move forward or to know like, all right, we're going to pencil it in on Tuesday, like in our one on one. It's important. I matter. I'm still valued. How much more
00:29:28
Speaker
if we need it, like productivity, you know, and work-based stuff can happen and take place in a... Well, and then too, you're just, I mean, if we're gonna be basic work, you know, outside of the work that we do, but...
00:29:45
Speaker
No, you're going to be more efficient. Yes. If you have that moment in that space and you feel heard and right. And the trauma response is, Oh my gosh, this is going to be something so much that I have to carry when it may just be that the person just needed somebody to witness them. Yeah. So if there's the education and important centers around like why that's coming up and why it's important and how to respond. It's no longer, I think what happens is the rest, um, the receiver,
00:30:13
Speaker
feels all this pressure and anxiety of like, what do I do now? And if I don't have that backing and support and importance of my own self and my own stuff and I don't do it with my own self, somebody coming to me, that's like, whoa, I don't know what to do at all with you. And so I think that's where that can kind of help ease that tension too as the receiver. Sometimes all we just need is the moment.
00:30:36
Speaker
Yeah, and I think if we give more opportunities to have those small moments, then they don't turn into big moments. You know, like if I could have 10 small moments, I'm not going to have this giant moment that like incapacitates me for a day or something, you know, like I can't get out of there.
00:30:51
Speaker
Right, it's falling off and now there's like this restructuring. It's like, okay, 10 small moments. It builds up. Well, and I think that piece too that you shared, if it's the receiver, you know, if it's like, that's not my problem, you know, don't bring that here. And if that, maybe if the culture changes that to the sense of like, oh, it can be, okay, I see that.
00:31:14
Speaker
we'll give it a little bit of space and we'll continue and finish our day. And it's twofold responsibility. So there's the responsibility of the receiver to kind of learn and be okay with and understand response.
00:31:26
Speaker
And there's a little responsibility of the asker, right? Everyone like, I just need, just in a moment to like get this out and then I'm gonna be good. You know, instead of just like coming with a thing. Just have an alarm anybody. And I'm guilty of that too. And they're like, what do I do? I'm like, I just need to be like, I need this moment. I'm not meaning to dump all this on you. I'm just, yeah. And I think we've seen that shift in therapy with how we even respond to them as therapists.
00:31:56
Speaker
going to respond and how we teach that to couples, you know, and how we approach one another. It's all an angle. Yes, it is. It is. How do we transform that and understand it and get on board? Yes. We've got a lot of work to do,
Finding Balance in Wellness
00:32:10
Speaker
so. A little bit. Luckily we enjoy it. Yes, we do. And I enjoy these conversations. Yeah.
00:32:21
Speaker
kind of part of this is just like moving and talking about. Yeah, no, you got so into it. That's so good. Just like glimmers. Well, that's where you've noticed some glimmers. Yes, glimmers. Oh, man. Or your heart swelled or recognize some growth in yourself.
00:32:43
Speaker
I think this counts. I was watching a show on Netflix. It's called Baby Reindeer. I saw it. I haven't watched it. It's wild. It's kind of along the line. It's not as dark and like wild and out there. It's like the show you. It's like a stalker show. It is about stalking, but it's also about grief and reparative and men's issues and like baby reindeer. And there are some traumatic things that happen in there and there's warnings.
00:33:13
Speaker
And so it's not maybe something to just jump right into, but there was this moment where the son had experienced something traumatic and was really afraid to share it with the parents.
00:33:27
Speaker
And when he shared it, he said, you know, I didn't want you to think less of me. And the dad had a similar experience, but it had this hard exterior that someone was afraid to ever share because of it. And the dad looked at him and said, if I told you that the same had happened to me, would you view me as less of a man? And I'm like, stopping. And the someone's like, I don't really know what you mean. And then it clicked.
00:33:52
Speaker
And there was this connection and this hug and this repair. And it was so powerful. I was like, what's the thing? And I was like, oh, it's so simple. But yet it is so hard. And there's the saying that we yell because our hearts are so distanced from each other. It's like seeing the hearts come closer and connect. So it was so wonderful because it was wonderful to both experience and see. But it was also to think like this
00:34:25
Speaker
Yes, it's so cool to have those stories to make it a little more to normalize it. Somebody can see themselves in that story right there. And I think this was a true story. And so it was really cool to have that shared experience from that individual's bravery as well.
00:34:43
Speaker
It is, yeah, it is very great. Yeah. And that was like last night. It's not like eating banana pudding ice cream, like bluebell, which like inflames my body, but it couldn't help it. I was like, I'm awake today. I'm like burning, but it's like, it was good. I knew it. Yeah. I'm sharing this. Yeah. But it's like the moments. Yeah. I'm trying to think of glimmers, new glimmers, glimmers.
00:35:13
Speaker
I'm sure. We had so many. We just shared so many today already. Yeah. We'll come up with something. We've got some giggles. Lots of giggles. Lots of giggles. I know. Oh my gosh.
00:35:40
Speaker
We hang out too much. But I couldn't imagine that hanging out. There's a glimmer right there. Yeah, there was. That felt very connective, even though it was kind of like, oh my gosh, get out of my head. I was just so wonderful. I was so grateful to be a part of it. And then we just have to practice saying, Jinx, you owe me a coat. Yeah. Yeah.
00:36:06
Speaker
So this kind of looks like a 12 pack one day. Well, just say yes. Well, then let's move to the next one. Yes. You pick the question. All right. Let's shake it up. Oh, yeah. Let's see what this one is.
00:36:29
Speaker
Ooh, it's a number six, healing. How do you define wellness? It's a tough one. It's a big one. It's quite intense. Okay, it's six. All right, let's see. Wellness. I think I talked a little bit about this on our first attempt. But mostly developing this lyric for myself too, that wellness, if we think about,
00:36:59
Speaker
wellness as this like teeter-totter. Wellness is the ability to, and on each end of the teeter-totter is like highs and lows. Love and fear, happy and sad. These extreme kind of polarized experiences, emotions, thoughts. Wellness is the ability to kind of come to center and let that teeter-totter be a balance.
00:37:25
Speaker
if we find ourselves on either end to let ourselves be a little labile, be a little kind of out there and all over and experience these extremes, but to remember that when there's a down, there's something that's going to push us and kind of bring us back to the up. And so to allow this back and forth motion, because I see in so many clients and individuals on the table that there's this tension and struggle and fight that like I'm not always on the high end.
00:37:54
Speaker
And I'm always in love and always, you know, one with the universe and a being of spiritual greatness because I've experienced something like grief, you know, or I'm just having a human emotion. And it's like, if we can take away the tension and the, what are the words? Like, almost like shame, expectation, right, around,
00:38:22
Speaker
the rigidness around what experiences should we control, then I think that we can just invite more self-compassion or just compassion in general into our daily experiences so that we can better come back to balance
00:38:42
Speaker
more quickly, more gracefully. Yes. So in a sense, having plasticity and not getting stuck. So having the ability to move in and out of those emotions or places. Yes.
00:38:59
Speaker
I or narrative inside. But with this compassion, it's like, oh, I'm in this place again. There's media. Instead of like, you can't believe I'm in this place again. I'm such an idiot. We're like, okay, I'm here. I've been here before. I'm strong and I will get through it. It's that window of tolerance that we work on with clients whenever we're hyper aroused that we can do our things, whatever we need to do to extend that
00:39:29
Speaker
window a little bit. I think that's where I was headed. I lost the explanation at the end. But instead of like wellness is, you know, you have this routine or, you know, whatever. But no, I like that kind of compassion of self. Yeah. There can be, we hear a lot of wellness stories at the end of their journeys. And so there can be this fixation on that's where I need to be. But we forget the journey that got that
00:40:00
Speaker
But we forget the other, the things that got them. Yeah. And they're going to have another journey. Absolutely. Maybe they made it through a cancer scare or right. And yay. And there are all these things. And, um, but then there's going to be something else down the line. And yeah, hopefully that compassion is there in this. Yeah. Kindness. Yeah.
00:40:22
Speaker
I like that. And I like the visual, you know, just kind of being able to visualize it in that way. Yes. Because really, if you have the teeter totter, and then you put the infinity symbol, then there's no end. You're right. Then there is the ability to fluidly move between, you know, and hopefully find yourself in the center more times than not so that you can be the observer rather than the reactor.
00:40:45
Speaker
But, you know, to notice that it's just a slide. I like that infinity piece though where it is kind of this ongoing and there's that centerpiece where it does all kind of. Yeah. That could be those moments where it's, you know, those moments when you sit there and you're just like, everything is
00:41:09
Speaker
in this moment, like everything just feels nice and small. And, you know, they can be fleeting with like being able to just even be in that middle of that infinity sign for the moment and be like, Yeah. Yeah. My uncle used to teach me to reach for a contentment. And for the long time I was like, what? Like, that means I'm okay with the house I have now. Yeah.
00:41:30
Speaker
We really call it like gratitude. In our world, contentment is not enough, right? You have to have more of something. You can't just be okay with something.
00:41:44
Speaker
Good job Mary. I love that. Is there anything you want to promote or is there anything, any way people can find you so they can get the ceilings? It's a great question. So I'm not sure when I'll start my practice at Open Arms Wellness.
Accessing Healing Spaces Services
00:42:04
Speaker
I'll be in between a ball and a grip.
00:42:12
Speaker
if we're a good match. But with Healing Spaces, we're not currently housed in an office. Our space clips in January that we were working on it. So we're kind of just riding a wave of looking at what that looks like. We're going to fairs and showing up in that way. But we're at www.healingspacesllc.com. And we offer spatial flow services on Saturdays.
00:42:35
Speaker
We have discovery calls two weeks or two nights a week for that. And really when we pop up at a fair is when you can experience the restorative energy. We've thought about a mobile service. Any fairs coming up? The next one is in Tennessee. That will be so not here but at the end of this year in October.
00:42:55
Speaker
is uh uh which i think i can talk about but i never know i've always known people are like hello that is the secret um i in october there is a fair i can't think of where it is right now okay um but it's with the casey metaphysical fair um so
00:43:23
Speaker
St. Louis area now. And you'll have it on your website. I will try. Yes, I'll put it on the website. I'll put it on our socials. So our socials are, you know, Instagram and Facebook, Healing Spaces, LLC. Got it. Yeah. Awesome. Look forward to it. I know. I'm excited. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Yeah, welcome. Shaun is with us in the spirit. Yeah. Well, what about you Amy? Do you have anything coming up?
00:43:52
Speaker
Oh, nothing really business-wise, just still doing the individual therapy for people and helping them and, you know, Robocon. Yeah. You've got, well, yes, I do actually have a hold me tight. Yes. Oh, yeah. A couple church up in June. Andrew Freiber and Anna Kissing were three couples therapists. We love emotionally focused therapy. And so we decided to do a hold me tight together.
00:44:20
Speaker
Yes, and it's going to be a magical weekend of connection and just learning how to understand each other better. And it's at St. Peter's at Anna Kisting's Cozy Chair Counseling Space. So you can find that on my website, you can find out all of my stuff, Instagram and all that.
00:44:56
Speaker
And you can always look out for your guys as reels.