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Chris Scarberry
21 Plays2 months ago
TheraSistersStL had a good old time talking with Chris Scarberry, founder of Healing Reflections. Chris Scarberry, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist in private practice. He co-owns the group practice, Healing Reflections Therapy, with his partner Megan Garza in St. Louis City. He has had a private practice for over 15 years, having been full-time in private practice since 2016. Prior to 2016, Chris Scarberry worked for 11 years as a mobile crisis counselor and later a supervisor at St. Louis’ local crisis line, BHR. While employed at BHR, Chris regularly did lethality assessments and subsequent service linkage and care coordination for clients in a variety of inpatient and community settings. At present, Chris Scarberry primarily specializes in doing therapy with LGBTQ+ clients, HIV+ clients, and does trauma work using Prolonged Exposure and other evidence-based modalities. He maintains a full caseload of individuals and couples, does some public speaking, and facilitates group therapy periodically
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Transcript
Introductions and Summer Activities
00:00:00
amycryan
Hello! Hello! There are sisters, STL, we're back. Yay! We're back, another podcast. Here we go. Yes, yes. Excited. So me too. Yeah. So what have you been up to? What's going on? Getting ready for school to start. Oh yeah, I am ready. Already went back to school shopping, got all the stuff. I also think my daughter likes to Unwrap everything and put it in our backpack when I think we're supposed to actually give it to the teacher So we'll see if we need to buy a couple things again, but
00:00:34
amycryan
She's excited, that's a good thing. Yes, that is a good thing. Yay. I didn't get to do the school shopping this year, which was fun. I'm okay with that. Jim and Thomas did it. Good. And so, I got to enjoy Montreal. Oh, yay! So good. And I'm ready for the routine of school. Same. Structure. Yeah. And to have my own space bed. Definitely.
Meet Chris Scarberry: Career and Practice
00:00:56
amycryan
definitely Yeah, so today we are inviting Chris Scarberry to come and join us. Come on in, Chris. Chris, join us. I say this every time. In our poops. In our poops, yes. Chris Scarberry, another licensed professional therapist. LPC? Yes. Awesome. Hello. Hello, good. Thanks for coming. Yes.
00:01:23
amycryan
yeah So, here your private practice is healing reflections therapy, correct? That's right. Yay! And you started it in 2016? Right. With your partner Megan Garza, is that right? Awesome. Well, we've actually had, yeah, well, there have been a couple incarnations, but yeah. we've We've had to practice together since I believe 21 and I've had to practice much longer. oh okay So was all you and then the two of you combined in 21. Was it always healing reflections or was it something before?
00:01:58
amycryan
i usually just called it
00:02:01
amycryan
Oh, okay. That runs. It does. That sort of hurts. Yeah. Well, and before that, you worked with Mobile Crisis Interventions. That is right. And worked with VHR. That's right. Yeah, I was a lot worse person for them and I was kind of a lead for a while and yeah, I was there for 11 years. I am curious about that. So, tell me What a typical, I mean, if it could be typical, a typical day would be as one of those outreach, normal outreach people. Like what I'm curious. All right, well, it would kind of, usually there was either a family member or a lot of times somebody would call for the client, that kind of thing. Like an institution would call or like a family member would call and we would go out to, we went to like jails, we went to private residences, schools, places like that and then we would we would go and try to stay what helps they was the situation a bit do we did like a brief kind of crisis assessment with them and provide their willing and then we would kind of figure out what level of care needed to take place and then we would facilitate that whether that was helping get them hospitalized by like
00:03:17
amycryan
getting the whole transport going by like getting getting the police involved, getting everybody out there and go to the hospital if that's what they needed. yeah Or if it was more like if they didn't need the lesser level of care, we had kind of an in to get them like an urgent screening appointment. and backing all So then we just set them up with like a little treatment plan. of you referr employment but Yeah, we kind of range from, you know, people being just sort of, you know, but maybe not having financial needs and needing services to, like, you know, more dire where, like, they're suicidal and they need to go with somewhere. Or they're suicidal and they're a little bit like, they're going to go to the hospital so they send us to kind of help finance them going to the Okay. And so, was that right out of, like, graduate school?
00:04:04
amycryan
Yes.
Specialization and Therapeutic Approaches
00:04:05
amycryan
Yeah. That was my first job. You just threw yourself into the most mental health. i did yeah and That was my question too. like That's how you started your work as a therapist. Yes. Yeah. And I actually it's funny things prior to that, my, my, uh, program was with HIV positive men too. So i always I've always liked, I was going to make sure I mentioned that, but I've always liked you know yeah stuff that's more more intense and challenging and populations that really kind of need like an extra TLC, yeah something that's kind of a bit of a... You know, a test for being a professional that can help you. I would think that was interesting. And keep you on your toes. We need all kinds of services and all kinds of people to fall into the you know these perfect fit places for what works for you. right like
00:04:59
amycryan
I wouldn't be great at doing that, so it's good we have you. We can handle that kind of stress and intensity and that calm energy. Yeah, you do have calm energy. Can I make you say that to me before? Yeah, you really do. And so, yeah, 11 years and then BHR crisis line, or was that all part of it? Yeah, that was a BHR, yeah. And then, so, what did you decide like to go into private practice? thing were you Well I pretty much worked on it as soon as I feasibly could and I grew it for a long time and I kind of I actually kind of it sort of came to a head because I was like my stress level I mean I was basically like working two full-time jobs and I was like okay I can pull the cord finally and just just have a private practice because yeah I i wasn't
00:05:53
amycryan
i had a little i was you know working not for a lot long for some years. yeah And then, you know, I finally got to where I was like, okay, you know, I may not have the same income that I kind of hoped to have eventually, right but I'm at least making as much as I am a BHR, so, you know, I can sell these. And at some point, you kind of take that leap, right? Because you can't do both.
00:06:13
amycryan
for, you know, if you wanted that full time. Yes. yeah Thank you. yeah Yeah. Well, it's true. Yeah. It's like doing yeah two part-time jobs. And if you really want to focus on your primary practice at some point, you have to take that leap of faith that it's going to keep growing, right? Right. Right. Which I feel like, yeah, I'm trying to think, yeah, this was the year that I got to that point, but yeah, I was finally like, okay.
00:06:33
amycryan
Even if I have cancellations or whatever, it's only a couple of weeks so I can plan and you know I kind of know what's what it's going to be. that and so you started your internship with Gabe and HIV positive and then you just kind of carried that into your private practice? Has that been your focus? Yeah, that that's pretty much, well I feel like i did I did try other hats like where there was a need and stuff like that. I tried doing some work with work with kids or you know work with like people who are like court mandated or different things when I heard needs expressed especially since I was in the like profit wrong, you know, people saying they wanted different services and stuff. But but I felt like the HIV positive gay men was the best fit for me and the best draw as far as their state funding, and federal funding rather, there for HIV positive people. So I was able to get on with that and then that was a good way to see them.
00:07:36
amycryan
i don't see i don't really see folks with that funding anymore but i've also gotten some private pay and insured people who were HIV positive or not. But it kind of evolved that way. And then i mean that's the need. That population has needs as well right and underserved on on some level, I would think, especially when you started. True. yeah true yeah I mean, now it's it's yeah it's a little different now than it was then. yeah There was definitely even more of a perceived need at that time.
00:08:05
amycryan
Yeah, so and there aren't a whole lot of folks that take that, that take the state coverage either.
Expanding Clientele and Therapy Techniques
00:08:10
amycryan
So it says they took that, that was a good draw for, you know, I did a lot of work in networking with the but case managers that they see at that time. So yeah, like ah a team approach on some level.
00:08:23
amycryan
yeah Yeah, I still have still do things with some of them and one of them's talking about having me having me go to their their medical practices One of their little events that they're having and she wanted somebody to do a positive affirmations booth I thought that sounded really fun. Yeah and see what I can help people be caught. When is that? In October. okay so Hopefully I can make that happen. I haven't talked to her about the particulars yet, but she pitched the ideas. Interesting. and so
00:08:56
amycryan
I'm hoping that HIV positive population is dwindling with all of the health improvements and medicine. So, how have you broadened your population, the people you work with? Well, I really feel like... Or am I wrong? It's funny, it's kind of... I'm trying to think what the jumping off point was, but I got to a point where, you know, all of a sudden I started putting in my promotional material like,
00:09:27
amycryan
I'm worried that people think I only specialize and I'm not willing to see general clients and stuff like that. And so I changed my marketing materials a bit and things and it was like, hey, I'm happy to see a variety of presenting problems. i I have training and experience working with with everybody too. And I feel like that's kind of opened things up more, which which I enjoy now. I like the diversity of it. I like that I still specialize and have knowledge and the experience with that, but but at the same time, yeah, I see a lot more women now than I used to, a lot more folks that just want couples like more kind of standard couples therapy and stuff like that than what I once did because my degree is in marriage and family therapy. It was an MIT program in so So I do always kind of have that lens you know so it's nice to be able to do some of that like that informed work and do some actual family and couples work.
00:10:23
amycryan
Oh good, that's always needed. and For a while that was a good draw for like queer folks and stuff that I was seeing that that wanted a couple's therapist that knew what kind of what they deal with or something like that. yeah So mix right so that when we talk about specialties, right a lot of people focus on a diagnosis type of specialty like anxiety, OCD. um And then, yeah, there's a specialist as far as like couples or family.
00:10:52
amycryan
But it seems to me with you, or tell me if I'm wrong, like how would you define your specialty? Is it the LGBTQ plus community as your specialty or is it Yeah, how would you explain your specialties? Yeah, i do right i mean I do feel like, especially, I have the most experience with, I see a lot of trans folks now and as well as, you know, the history with and currently work with a lot of gay men. and then so But yeah, the LGBTQ folks and HIV, I still say that. i mean i do i do I'm trained in prolonged exposure. I went out to the University of Pennsylvania and took that, so it's like which isn't as common as EMDR and stuff, but but it's you know it's trauma work. so you know I do utilize that. I do a fair amount. Can you tell me more about the prolonged exposure? Yes. It's basically like the way in which you do like might do a a trauma narrative. It's sort of you know similar type of
00:11:46
amycryan
you know evidence space practice where you sort of exhausting the emotion. you You simultaneously create a hierarchy of traumatic and anxiety-provoking things that that you need to do in your life to test yourself, to kind of expose yourself to. and then simultaneous to that and similar to my understanding of the MDR you'll come up with like a narrative of like one of your trauma experiences that's the most salient and then you process it and then you'll look at like hot points and parts that are the most anxiety provoking and then just continue to process it and if you're doing it straight to to the model, you actually like tape it and you listen to the tapes and stuff like that. I don't always get that hard-nosed about it, but that is something that you can do in this kind of part of it. Okay. So yeah, that reminds me of the like something one would use for OCD or anxiety. But so it seems like you combine it with anxiety and trauma. Yeah. Am I understanding that? That is sort of how that works. Okay. Yeah. I have to see how that works. Cool. So yeah. So I'm going to do that. And then I do, uh, I do a fair amount of substance abuse, uh, substance abuse work too.
00:12:52
amycryan
Yeah. That's hard. Is that hard? It seems hard. so Yeah. Yeah, that is hard. I think, yeah, there are a lot of barriers to those folks, you know, one one for one reason or another. So, yeah yeah. But I do feel like, especially with, you know, the the more prevalence and familiarity with with substances now, it's sort of like, yeah, lots of folks can present with some degree of substance use and things that that where it didn't always used to be that way.
00:13:20
amycryan
Yeah, lots of, yeah, I mean now that marijuana is legal and gummies and all of that. Right, which is a complex thing. Some people, you know, can do it in moderation and some people don't really do it. Right. Yeah, because I was talking with someone recently and they were sober for like many years and you know not partaking in anything and then because I guess is that the AA model of like strict nothing man and then just started to try and figure out what they could do like in moderation or only in certain situations and they've learned that they're able to to do that but you know yeah I guess it's just again this kind of moderation or
00:14:14
amycryan
the middle of the road pathway. I do feel like a lot of people experiment with like that aspect or you know how would they feel about like the faith-based part of 12-step stuff too like whether that's for them or not. yes So it's nice um to have I guess an alternative to the faith-based places. trip yeah True, well the other thing I try to do a lot when I when I do substance abuse work I definitely try to adhere to like a like a harm reduction sort of model so I meet people where they're at and I don't yeah as I'm sure most of us do as therapists but you know but sometimes people are scared off by thinking like right this minute I have to set the drums down and never do them again right and they you know that really freaks them out. yes because this mean
00:15:00
amycryan
Right, because then they're like, well, what am I going to use to, how am I going to manage these emotions if I can't have whatever? Yeah, so that's good. But sometimes, you know, stopping cold turkey isn't necessarily the healthy option. You know, like sometimes that's not, I don't know, I think like with alcohol, I and think it could be a dangerous thing to come off of alcohol, just cold turkey sometimes. If your body's really used to that. Yes. and Obviously, I don't know a ton of things. And she can tell you don't.
00:15:31
amycryan
know that i like morning like are yeah well and so And just what you shared about the prolonged exposure therapy and just your different models when you notice your couples heal or couples and individuals just your clients in general when you notice them healing like how do you see clients heal in your sessions or what does that look like through your work Well, I did I was thinking about this and I did that one of my colleagues had me do like a little in-service training about living with HIV some years ago and i came up with an exercise where i I had everybody that I sort of modeled on one that I'd heard about but I tweaked it a bit and I had everybody um draw draw a picture of like how they see their HIV status and try to like really embody like the negative aspects of what they really like hate about living with HIV and stuff like that. And then I had them give it to me and I'll turn it over to me and I told them that I would take it home and we had a wood burning fireplace at the time. And I told them that I'd take it home and burn it, which I did. And unfortunately, I couldn't do that there, but you but I told them I'd take care of it. and But I've always thought of, you know, visualize that kind of thing as like as like sharing a burden or giving it to... and then sort of allowing me to help them. And I feel like I've experienced that like with my own therapy too over the years where it's like, yeah, it's nice to be able to to know that someone else can handle your stuff and just sort of be able to air it out and let it go. And not be afraid of it, or it's not too much. and yeah Oh, that's so thoughtful. And then the visualization of the of either the words out there of their artist they can draw and
Growth and Client Relationships at Healing Reflections
00:17:25
amycryan
then handing it to you. and it just
00:17:27
amycryan
burn it right that's right yeah It would be nice to have a fireplace in the office just for that birthday. I've always thought that but you can't really find that without going. Right, right. We're not there yet. Dreams, right? Yeah. Is that at all? Do you plan to like build a space? I don't exactly know. I mean we're happy with, for right now we just expanded. yeah So we are happy, we're happy with that. We've got four Yeah, four therapy rooms in the waiting room now, whereas we just used to have only one in the therapy room. I don't know. Wow, you have experienced that. Yeah. Awesome. So does that mean you brought in some more people? Yes. Yeah, we have, ah my partner, Megan, does licensure supervision for marriage and family therapists. and that sort and some people have been coming out of
00:18:13
amycryan
pipeline that she had supervised and things like that and so we we now have two other therapists. One is ah like ah they're both pre-licensed one is further along where she's working on her licensure hours and they're both employees now.
00:18:28
amycryan
so yeah we're open ah in addition to her supervisores so yeah so we're hoping Keep that going maximize that first. Maybe we're trying to take him in stages, right? But we have the group practice sort of to a point where we'd like to you know Eventually, maybe have another person or two or like a like a full-time maybe a full-time employee or two of botane So yeah, I totally hijacked that healing. I want to go back to the healing. outside room yeah So like, you would take it and then burn it. And when you came back and met with the clients after that, what did you see? um I feel like they, it seemed like they see they felt they felt seen.
00:19:11
amycryan
you know felt like i feel like they connected with me more. I feel like that sort of intensified like the rapport that we had, you know the fact that they saw that I think with marginalized communities, I feel like there's a lot of times there's this sort of fear that like someone that someone in a helping field might not really relate to them or might not have the same the same struggles that they've had or that kind of thing, which is understandable, but I feel like you know with those types of exercises and when I've sort of demonstrated to people that I have competencies or a willingness to meet them where they're at and hear their story, I feel like they've been very a lot more responsive to that and that's what I notice with that.
00:19:55
amycryan
yeah It sounds to me that them just knowing that you're yeah listening and supporting them and they might not always have that. yeah and well did and
00:20:13
amycryan
like I'm just trying to think of
00:20:19
amycryan
where to go from there really. Well I know you also add in your bio too that you do like public speaking and you do other things like that too. What kinds of things like for public speaking where do you go, what do you do, what do you talk about? Yeah well let's see I've uh I've done we have the my partner has been the president of the St. Louis marriage family therapy association in town you know um a whole lot of membership but then the smaller set of people that usually show up to face face meetings and but we we do take turns a lot of times presenting and that sort of was a jumping-off point for me doing because I've never done public speaking before doing some presentations there
00:21:00
amycryan
public speaking no i did it to test myself more now it was it was a growth but yeah but I've done I've been spoken at the the Missouri Missouri Counseling Association I'm there I spoke at their conference in like the Ozarks and then I i did the um I always forget the name of it i really shouldn't the mental health association oh should be
00:21:33
amycryan
no the yeah i think it's am oh am i am am i yeah yeah am my own yeah yeah i should We should get all of us. but anyway they i she they have to They have two conferences a year I believe that they do that are big ones where they have call for presenters and I presented there too and I did like an LGBT primer like working with LGBTQ clients and you know I did like ah the last time I did a several hour one which was cool and you know it's really helped me appreciate
00:22:09
amycryan
sometimes like a lot of this I'm I'm a perfectionist and I'm self-conscious and I'm like really getting to see that how much I do know and how much I have accomplished is it's something that I don't always take stock of so it was nice to be able to be like hey I actually have this knowledge and other people can benefit from it. Yeah, yeah, we do have knowledge and experience.
00:22:31
amycryan
yeah so How about your own healing? Because I think on some level, even if we haven't had, I like to think all of us have healing. and anything that happened in our life So how do you heal
Personal Journey and Self-Care Practices
00:22:45
amycryan
yourself? What do you do for you? Well, I mean, in terms of healing and self care, I mean, I do ah Most recently our big like collaborative hobby that the two of us have is we've gotten into rock hounding stuff. And so we we like go and collect, like we go like mine for like crystals. Is that what you said, hounding? Yeah, so we mine for crystals in different places and stuff. we've got We go up to Canada for some examples of these amethyst mines that we go to and some quartz stuff down and in Arkansas.
00:23:17
amycryan
yeah know where We do a lot of, for a while I did some kind of spiritual exploration about like how I felt about all that, but I'm still i'm still too cynical for that. But I do like the, I just like the beauty of it and i find I find beautiful things like that relaxing and soothing. So yeah, so we enjoy that. It's one thing that both of us do as a couple together and I enjoy that as a form of self-care and I mean I feel like Anything I've ever had to let go of myself, I feel like, any ticky just taking the time to like really calm down and relax, because I know, i like you said earlier, I have a calm kind of presence and I fear that way, but I also am kind of internally a little different, ah sometimes a lot different than that. So you know it's nice to you know take time to, like i like I love like more like soothing like warm water type you know stuff like steam rooms and so on. and hots and stuff like that, and I like massage and things like that. I enjoy things like that. I feel like utilizing stuff like that is helping. More coziness kind of thing. Yeah, totally, sort of. Do you have like a hot tub or a steam room at home or something? No, but I usually belong to a gym, even though I don't work out at all that much. But I tend to go there for the hot tubs and the steam rooms. Yeah, I not would do that. So yeah, that's always been a big self-care thing for me. But yeah, I mean, I do have things that I've
00:24:45
amycryan
I mean, I would say that and not in and in an informed way, I feel like I've chosen some of the clients that I've worked with over the years for client populations because of things that I've gone through in my life that I feel like was able to either inform my work or I grew as a result of being like, hey, I'm going to work with these folks and help empower them and things. So yeah, I feel like that my work has helped me grow and helped me heal from some things as well.
00:25:13
amycryan
aye Are you comfortable ah talking a little bit more about things that might have happened when you were younger that guided you? Sure. Yeah, because I am, because right, you would be a cisgender man. um And so so I guess, you know, maybe I'm stereotyping or something here, but I guess I wouldn't think of a cisgender man wanting to necessarily work with gay, HIV-positive people. So I'm curious of what guided you there.
00:25:48
amycryan
okay well i think i mean oh sure yeah Well, I think a lot of, I mean, I always tell people that, you know, I'm not, I mean, I've had kind of my own journey and I sort of say that I feel like I have a little piece of, you know, like along the gender spectrum, I mean, I feel like I'm very, Not a little bit. I have a little bit of the gender non-conforming thing I'm not kind of like a stereotypical, you know straight man and kind of how I took my interests and what I tend to do and stuff like that and also so in terms of both the gender piece and my sexual orientation I feel like I'm not
00:26:24
amycryan
I've debated but it's like I don't know that I necessarily change the label but but I definitely have some degree of like same-sex attraction or whatever so I mean I feel like I've i've struggled with the how I should how I should exactly term it but I definitely have enough of a frame of reference that I'm not like completely someone that couldn't get where where apply okay okay yeah I mean I think a lot of what I go through is or have bo i think especially compared related to the jimmytq folks is you know i have some sort of
00:26:58
amycryan
i don't know i might call it like really just trauma light kind of experience in my childhood. And I feel like a lot of that sort of absolutist kind of fundamentalist view. of of folks that are of diverse folks that may not fit them mo that type of mo right right um kind of My question came from right my question kind of came from that that mold of like one or the other. right and so Thanks for reminding me about the fluidity of gender and who we are as people. and
00:27:31
amycryan
yeah
00:27:34
amycryan
that's
00:27:37
amycryan
but yeah but Anyway, that's sort of what what ah what I've kind of had to struggle with or heal from in my life. I feel like that sums up a lot of what it has been. It's just sort of seeing things in a more pluralistic, whole way yeah and and helping other people see it that that way too. Yes, yeah I agree. i think Yes, it And so, okay, so your healing is warm.
00:28:01
amycryan
<unk> yeah and water I like food a little more than you should. Don't shit on yourself. It's delicious. It's delicious. Have you ever done a salt water or like those floats? I've tried the one in the town before. Oh yeah That's where I like to go for my birthday.
00:28:25
amycryan
yeah yes i've been there i like that it's great But isn't that water kind of cooler? Or am i maybe it's... It's not hot, it's but it's salt water, so you just float there. Yeah. Would you ever do one of those cold punches?
00:28:43
amycryan
i' happy i've been to There's actually this this really cool place that a friend of mine and I like a lot that's in Chicago. it's and that well i mean A lot of spa type places will have a cool plunge that you utilize just to go off. But there's this there's this place that's it's called Ping Spa and it's a Korean-owned Korean spa. that that has it has like separate hot tub and steam room areas but then it has these crazy like I can't even really describe them but they're all saw as like eight different songs that are all like one is like a Native American sweat lodge one of them is like full of amethyst one of them has like salt on the floor and they're yeah and they're all the the sweat lodge one is
00:29:32
amycryan
really, really hot. And then they also have a cold they have a cold room as well. So anyway, you know they would I forget where I was going with that, but that's, yeah, that does have a cold plunge there. yeah so And a lot of times those things are so hot that yeah, you're ready to get in. yeah You can get in 50 degree water for about five seconds. time I don't know if I could do those cold plunges. Well, the shock too. is that Is it almost like a shock to the system of like really hot to really cold and it feels kind of awakening and or something? i do I do feel like that's sort of rejuvenating your awakening. or sure
00:30:07
amycryan
Yeah, that contrast. Yes. I am curious about the rock helmet. Yes, me too. I have this vision of my head of the guy from the Rudolph cartoons. What was his name? Cornelius? He's always looking for gold. And he has like one of those hatchet or pickaxe. Do you use a pickaxe?
00:30:35
amycryan
We've used stuff like that. We've tried painting for gold, but we thought it was boring. But a lot of the mines that we've gone to... Or they'll have an excavator. We've been to a few actual working mines where they'll excavate stuff and they dump it out. And then you can go through the taming piles of what they just scraped out. So then you can just go through and look for what you find. because isn't there an amethyst one like down south here or it's not too far because my son is in he loves amethyst as well and rocks and things like that um and we looked up that there's a i don't know four hours or five hours away but that's not i hadn't heard of that okay the closest things i know it's possible yeah the closest ones we know over we've been to thunder bay canada three times and they have uh
00:31:33
amycryan
and think four, four mines there. And we've had a fun time just driving up there and driving over the border. and yeah yeah yeah yeah But yeah, but we go and and my my partner has longer hang time. She's a lot more patient than me. So we always, I always joke that, you know, sometimes we're going to these beautiful places and I'm like asleep on the banks of this river and she's like looking for another two hours.
00:31:57
amycryan
I feel like I'm done with it. yeah so But I do enjoy getting back to nature and I do like her looking for rocks. I'm just not, she's super passionate. But we both like it. You know, eventually she just bought some workbench and some, like a flat lap where you can like sand and polish things. So eventually we'd like, she makes her own jewelry. So, and I have some that we're interested in because we both really like jewelry. So we were talking about maybe trying to, you know, maybe even like make some cabs for like rings or pendants or, you know, or do some stuff. We have enough of the tools now that we could do it. Wow, that's exciting. Have you found any good?
00:32:35
amycryan
stones. We have. We have. Yeah, we found some some like larger amethyst points that are that are pretty impressive and what your hands were like. right
00:32:48
amycryan
We found there's a place called Haunted Ridge in Washington, Washington County, Missouri that has Jersey courts, which I wasn't familiar with until we started doing this, but it's sort of like a lot of them are sort of rounded with like a lot of crystal face and fascinating to them. But a lot of them tend to be like, I think the term is majorital, but it's like, you know, you end up with like these round parts a lot of times that are really crystallized and courts looking. And yeah, we found things there that are as big as a plate that's like maybe this big. Or like a big boulder that's like this. So yeah, we have way too many rocks. Do you, I don't know how to say this exactly, but prescribed to the idea of the healing powers of crystals and those kinds of things. That was kind of what I was saying, that I kind of dabbled in. I had kind of a little spiritual exploration.
00:33:42
amycryan
but i don't i don't I definitely don't begrudge anybody who believes in any of that, and I think that's fascinating, but at the same time, yeah, I don't really believe that myself. It doesn't speak for you, sure. Yeah, but I more just like the beauty and the earthiness of it, but I guess to some degree, I do like the energy aspect of it, but maybe not to the degree that someone that's really into that world.
Hobbies and Personal Rituals
00:34:05
amycryan
But I do like the idea that this is something from the earth and stuff like that, that has this beauty,
00:34:14
amycryan
yes yeah but beauty on the inside too you know on the outside it might just look ordinary and then you crack it open and you're like oh that's true just like us right yeah I feel like yeah yeah cuz we've gone i don't know if you you probably don't know but but there there are geodes there are a lot of geos that you can find up in this fox river that's in Iowa but it's between Iowa and Missouri and we met a guy who did like guided trips there and we've gone to a couple there and he'll find me like really good ones and he has like a cracker where you can crack them open and stuff and you know we got we've gotten some really awesome ones we have we have a lot of really nice shields from that. So yeah I do that does resonate with me the idea of like what's inside when yeah it's this ugly you know terrible looking rock but then you crack it open and it's amazing. Who is the comedian
00:35:07
amycryan
with Tig on their podcast, Handsome Podcast, Mae Martin, or Fortune Feimster. I think she's a rock. I think she's not in the rock, I don't think so. Her name sounds a little familiar. She's hilarious. She has blonde curly hair, and she's funny. She used to be with Chelsea Hamler on her show a long time ago. Check her out, she's funny. She may be into that. She might be into rats, but run into her somewhere.
00:35:46
amycryan
So, are we to the glimmers part? I think, yeah. Glimmers. Recent glimmers. Where a glimmer, right, is something that um you're able to recognize that you've grown and and you're like, oh, look at what I've done, I've grown. Or you've felt some positive energy and calmness and joy. yeah Like in the moment, yeah being able to have that perspective of like, oh, this is a great moment. yeah yes yeah Any recent glimmers? Well, professionally, I feel like I've had a couple of a couple of people that I, without saying too much about their personal cases, of course, but I've had a couple people where they were really at a precipice of like needing to make change and wanting to make change, where
00:36:30
amycryan
They finally went ahead and you know came out to like their family members. Well, one of them did. One of them finally is getting a divorce that I'm really excited about. It's funny. Things like that where it's like, I feel like we really worked together on this. I mean, obviously they did the work, but yeah to some extent. But but you know it's that that's been, once again, you know like I said, some of my work personally has been just like giving myself as much credit as a person should for what i'm doing so i really i'm I'm coming into my own a lot a lot more now where I really feel like okay
00:37:08
amycryan
I spent a long time really striving, trying to network and trying to grow with practice and stuff. And now it's really kind of where I always wanted it and stuff like that. So I think lately that's been hitting me a lot more, where I'm kind of just taking stock of, hey, this is, in a lot of ways, the life that I always wanted, and now I have it. And I don't have to work so hard. Oh, that's a wonderful glimmer to be like, here I am, doing what I love and you're good at it. And yes, oh, well, yeah, good
00:37:37
amycryan
You? Do you have a glimmer? Well, I was following... Something touched you. here I was thinking something touched you. So thinking about, like you were talking about in your work, right? And so that that was making me think about glimmers within my work. And so recently I do i do mostly emotionally focused therapy with my couples. right um And so I've been really honing, trying to hone my skill on really finding the emotion in the room, kind of in the small ways, and really like bringing it to the surface, or bringing it to their attention. right And so there I've had some sessions where at the end of the session I was like,
00:38:22
amycryan
really did that right Like I noticed this person have like move a little or I noticed this person look away and I was able to you know comment on it and bring it to them and then them kind of be able to put meaning around that. of like Oh yes, this happens at home. When this happens here, this is what I do. And for them to be able to see that and how small the emotions can be, how small the reactions can be, and how much meaning can be behind that. like So a guy did that. Yeah, he got to help with that. Yeah, to like bring that up. and So at the end of those sessions, just sitting there being like,
00:38:59
amycryan
That felt good. Right? It wasn't like this big, huge groundbreaking, like session where it was like, wo but it was like, wow. but the Those moments felt good. So that's what I was thinking. That's good. Yeah. Let's see. Oh, glimmer, glimmer, glimmer.
00:39:20
amycryan
I am not prepared for my glimmer. I guess
00:39:25
amycryan
i'm reflecting on the past week and I think there was a glimmer of maybe more, maybe not a, it was more of an aha moment instead of say a glimmer of just recognizing
00:39:44
amycryan
where I want to grow as a just a person and I think it's more about being open to accepting help from other people um because I can be a bit of a control.
00:40:00
amycryan
but um So yeah, and when we were in Montreal, out there with my friends, 50, yay! At my friend's place, she made a fire like a fire pit, right? And she had it all set up, and we got to write down things that we were wanting to release, and then things that we were welcoming in, and so that ceremony really kind of helped me hone in. of like Okay, this aha moment of I'm releasing this, but at the same time I'm also going to accept this help. So yeah, there's something to that ritual of burning things, you know?
00:40:40
amycryan
I was gonna say real quick, yeah wow we we definitely, we probably will definitely go again, but for a while we we've gone to Burning Man a couple of times. so and And I don't know how much I need to you know backstory on that, but basically, the so I do like fire a little bit. But you like i man but um one of the things that I feel like in terms of like we we love animals and we have a lot of pets and And one of the things, at the end of Burning Man, there's yeah there are usually two major two major ah burns as they call them. They burn the effigy of the man who was the founder, Larry, who was the founder of of Burning Man. And then and then there's a temple. Every year there's a temple that they create with different kind of aesthetic principles and stuff every year. it's all They're all different. and they burned the temple on the last day and and the the significance of the temple is usually like it's supposed to be like a cathartic healing thing for people and what people will do is you know it's it's open to everybody for the whole week. and you can go in
00:41:50
amycryan
and and leave like if you lost a loved one or something like that. Like we saw like a woman got divorced and she put like her wedding dress in there or different things like that or people can put like whatever they want in there. I always thought of it as a spiritual place to go and have experience. So then this temple, is it like a building size? Yeah, it may be. Yeah, i mean it's probably, I mean, I'd say it's the size of the average like church or cathedral.
00:42:18
amycryan
um date that's realing yeah So then so yeah, but one the last time we went we really took advantage of bringing because we'd lost we lost two of our cats during the pandemic and and we had loved ones that died too and so we took we brought keepsakes and mementos from them and and Put it in there and I felt like that was a really neat thing You know when they were and well, there's the kind of the like once they burn the stuff they let you like they have fire keepers and stuff but then once once it's more safe they let people like come and kind of mill around you can like stand around it once it's burning and stuff and you can get really close to it so it's sort of like you can really sort of commune with that whole experience and and hang out with it and so yeah that was
00:43:02
amycryan
that was That was really cool and and healing because, you know, I think during the pandemic, you're just sort of, you know, tunnel vision. We're yeah trying to get through it and, you know, we're isolated. Yeah. So I really felt like do that particular exercise, I feel like was really healing for both of us yeah and was a good way to kind of express that particular grief that we had. Oh, that's wonderful.
00:43:25
amycryan
Yeah, I've always been curious about the Burning Man. it just there's It's It's hard to travel. It's hot, yeah and there's in the dust there, people think it's sand, but it's like it's actually like clay dust, so it's dirt. Is it like a festival where you camp and you yeah do all... Yeah, and a lot of people bring RVs there, but you can also kit tank a or camp. in your car we don't have an rv but we what we usually do is rent a big SUV and then just sleep in that SUV. That's what we would like an RV someday but I mean it's gonna ruin whatever car you have.
00:44:03
amycryan
ah a real dirt yeah she wrote one and yeah and you are basically I feel a little bad what some of them will look like even after we try to clean them.
00:44:14
amycryan
feel like yeah yeah yes that' So warmth, and fire, and burning. I didn't know that was going to come out this morning. You don't know. That's why we love this so much. We learn so many interesting things about our guests. And ourselves. on well right Or areas of growth of, hmm, I really need to reflect on i don't yeah just Well, it makes me, I'm like, ooh, thinking to fall time, I have a fire pit in my backyard, maybe I'll have that moment, we can kind of all bring some things and have a ceremony. We could do like a networking noms or something, Eve, maybe, in the backyard or in the fire. outfire person? I'm fairly, fairly good. yeah I more appreciate that I'm not, yeah, I'm good enough. Together we'll figure it out. Well, and the last part, yeah, the last part is you get to pick a question out of here. We don't even know what they are. Did you hold the other one, like the used ones out? Oh, I don't know if Evie put it back in. Okay. I don't know. Well, if if it's one, we repeat it, we'll pick another one. But you, we all answer it. yeah this is okay so no go your finger so you get to read it aloud and then say your answer and then we'll yeah answer as well okay and fun what do you do on your commute to and from work okay All right. Yeah, I've been trying to listen to more audiobooks. I love music. i've been learning to play guitar recently so i think
00:46:17
amycryan
i've been that's a nice little girl thing that I'm doing so I mean I do listen to me a lot of music but at the same time I've been I've been trying to do more audiobooks and I feel like I can get through a lot even though I live in the city and I work in the city it's not that long of a commute it's only a 10 minute commute but I try to I find I drive a lot more than I even realize so I've been trying to listen to more books. What are you listening to now? Can you share? I am listening to, I'm doing this horror book i book club at left bank books. Oh, yeah. It's called Reader Beware. I do too. And it's called Reader Beware. and And it's fun. And so I'm listening to Mother Thing, which is an interesting book for that, which is about this the haunting of this deceased mother-in-law. And and the the narrator is really sort of like,
00:47:04
amycryan
Bpp kind of situation. So it's really emotionally intense kind of you know, soer and yeah, it's it's good I like it. Yeah, I like it. So yeah, I'm listening to that and I'm also listening to Mary Trump Donald Trump's niece. Oh her ex was a tell-all book Yeah, it's it's good does she specialize in narcissism she definitely knows plenty but doesn want say yeah So that's been that's been cathartic to hear about that and hear that validated, especially by a family member of his too. I've been enjoying yes yeah that. is
00:47:47
amycryan
with My commute is sporadic. in that
00:47:56
amycryan
When I start driving, I know that it's best to have everything ready to go and focus on driving. However, oh I and I'm like, which song do I want to listen to? I'm pushing buttons and I'm moving things. And so that takes a good five, seven minutes for me to figure out. Do I want to listen to the news?
00:48:16
amycryan
Do I want to listen to a radio station or a podcast? So I'm fiddling for a while, and I typically just land on a and listen Or no, you know what? Lately, I've been listening to Unserious XM. Kota and O'Brien needs a friend. I hope that's funny. It is funny, and I don't know if they're new or repeat, but he had on, oh god, who did he have on? I was laughing out loud.
00:48:41
amycryan
What is his name? He was on that TV show. This is my brain. Who also wrote Seinfeld and had a TV show? Larry David.
Listening Habits and Practice Updates
00:48:53
amycryan
He um was Larry David's roommate. Smooth, smooth, smooth. Anyway, in the show? Yeah. Well, that actor who plays Larry David, who's the roommate,
00:49:06
amycryan
was on the show. I can't think of anything but oh my god hilarious. If I could tell you the guy's name you could look it up but I can't. so but you add just drawing notes like yeah yeah so right man he's i laughing out loud yeah funny check about yeah take it out about you I'm kind of in between both of, sometimes I'll listen to NPR, sometimes I'll listen to music. a lot some A lot of times I like to put on some songs and just like sing really loud and one direct and just like bah!
00:49:40
amycryan
love And of course I've been listening to a lot of Taylor Swift because my daughter is a Swifty. But I also like to listen to books and I like to listen to podcasts, so I'm always listening to something. yeah um And my my husband makes fun of me because a lot of tent because I'm also in a book club. I do too much, obviously. but um If there's a book that, like if my book club at meeting is coming up soon and I haven't finished the book, I'll listen to it at like 2.0 speed. And it's like, ooh! And my pu if Michael hears it, he's like, oh my gosh, that is not relaxing. Like, how are you, walk why are you even doing that? I'm like, well, I'm not doing it for the relaxing purposes, I'm doing it for the, I want to finish the book purpose. So, yeah, so mine, it depends on the day. But that's the long one.
00:50:32
amycryan
yeah i always I always laugh that I don't know if you remember short-circuit movie from the end, but I always laugh thinking about the input thing when Johnny number five would try to read as much as he could.
00:50:46
amycryan
um he's going on yeah that's go much to So last thing, what do you have to promote? Do you have space for clients? Do you have yes Anything coming up? all All four of us are currently are currently taking taking new patients. I'm a combination of virtual and in person. Megan is is all virtual. but she's a special ah sexual trauma therapist that's all she does pretty much is see sexual trauma problems And then we have Jordan and Michaela, like I said, they've been doing a lot of work with with queer kids and families. And we have one of the rooms we have in our new space is an our as an art space. that has like all mats and and cushions on the floor
00:51:34
amycryan
So it's kind of a fun space that kids could go and you do do play therapy there yeah so that they've been doing that there. So we do kids and families, queer kids and families, and they're taking folks. And I always tell people, you know, if you ever have, you know, I know some people have PLPCs in their practice too and stuff, but, you know, they they both need hours. So, you know, we definitely, like if you need lower fee people, they all have reduced fees and, you know, and they need to see people for their hours. So, yeah, they love business. Okay, touching that. Yeah.
00:52:09
amycryan
Well I was thinking, we have that Radiant Resilience. Oh yes. They're a mama in October. Yeah. It's a symposium or it's a weekend. Yes.
00:52:21
amycryan
therapist and mom yeah our mom therapist yeah or how she arm mom one of those yes right yes but We are doing an hour talk with therapist moms at that in ah October. and october yeah yeah And you might do an affirmation booth. Nova's Health, which is witches and down by Crandola Park on Grand. It's their event. so it's i think I believe it's going to be in Clayton, but i don't I forget the venue.
00:52:52
amycryan
But yeah, it's their no sell event in October, I think the 19th. Okay, awesome. Thanks for coming. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Appreciate it. It was great. Thank you. All right. Bye. Bye. All right. Let's hope that... It was recording, right? Yeah. It better have been. Oh my god, our first one, Barry, we had to redo. Oh no.