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Episode 6 - A Rib-tit Monster Named Steve
11 Plays1 month ago
Nylene bemoans a spot of bad luck and takes a peek into Icelandic sorcery and incantations. Afterwards, Nym discusses a famous Slavic sorceress, Baba Yaga.
Enter the nightmare for show notes, sources, and transcripts.
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Transcript
Introduction and Dark Themes
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Nim and Nyleen's Nightmare Cottage, where we discuss dark locations, sinister media, and other tales of the macabre. I'm Nim. And I'm Nyleen. Let the nightmare begin.
Nyleen's Household Frustrations
00:00:45
Speaker
so here we are Welcome back. I feel like I start an every episode with like just the biggest sigh. You do and you always say so here we are. ah It's like a a cleansing like all right let's just get it all out. Be open. Round and center and be ready to talk which I know you're ready to do because god you're so frustrated. So frustrated.
00:01:08
Speaker
i don't know where we left off like when i i don't remember you had to remove the frame from the door oh my god because this has been going on for so fucking long it was supposed to be like a quick thing we were just supposed to get the couch delivered and put it in the fucking room okay that was it and then all this other shit happened so yeah they took off the door frame and of course it comes off in one piece which is great better than we expected And then they get the couch through the door and it's like, okay, it barely fits in the room because we haven't taken everything out. We were supposed to, whatever. It's fine. It's in the fucking room. It will die there. I don't care. I'll sell the house with it. I do not care at this point. It lives there. And so they go to put the frame back on and I don't.
00:01:56
Speaker
I don't know how. So they decided it needed some like foam filling inside or something. Oh, because they were like, well, we need some some kind of padding. And I forgot what they called the padding. like It's supposed to keep basically a gap between like the door frame and the door, the door frame and the walls. And they added some additional foam in there because I told them like you know we might be hanging out in there. So like make it extra soundproof for you. Whatever.
00:02:21
Speaker
And they did expanding foam. oh no So they put it in, realized that they didn't have the pressure gun they needed to like be able to nail everything. They had to wait for Ace's dad to go to come bring the pressure gun. They got it all nailed in. They go to put the door back on. And the door doesn't fit because because of the expanding foam. And so I'm like, okay, well,
00:02:45
Speaker
I was like, we're just, we're done with this for the night. I'm not, this has taken a whole freaking day at this point, right? So we just, they took it off. They'd had to take all of the foam out on one side, put it back on. It's on there now. It's been like, I think a week, maybe. And the doors fit in kind of tight lately. I don't know if it's cause it's like starting to get really cool compared to when they did it. Right. And so I'm like, this is just going to be my existence now. Like,
00:03:15
Speaker
messing with this door over a stupid couch. Everybody can't see Nyleen right now but she's rubbing her face in the most dramatic ways like she's trying to remove her skin. You don't even know how stressful it's been because like I can't deal with clutter like this. I can't like and it's been cluttering because it's a massive couch. So not only this like okay the reason that this was so dramatic was because this kicked off like the worst luck i have had in a really long time and it's like it's the dumb luck too it's not like actual anything serious luck it's just like the dumbest most inconvenient shit the night that we couldn't get the door on no that we couldn't get the couch through the door frame we decided to order some pizza hat because we were like fuck it let's order some pizza i'm not leaving this house i'm done i'm fucking done
00:04:06
Speaker
And so we did. Spent like a hundred something dollars on pizza and wings and whatever because I was going to eat my feelings. And it'd been like an hour and it said it had already delivered. And I look outside and there's no pizza there. And I look at my phone and apparently DoorDash had like been assigned to it. And the guy was like, Hey, sorry, there's like a really long way. Like they're really busy. And I was like, it's cool. No problem. Whatever.
00:04:31
Speaker
And then I waited like another 30 minutes and I was like, what what's happening? And so I messaged him and I was like, hey, it says it delivered. I'm obviously like, you haven't even picked it up, right? Like, do I need to call them? And he's like, I don't know what's going on. They won't talk to me. They won't talk to anybody. And I was like, that's weird. So I tried calling them. It rings, it rings, it rings. They hang up on me. What? I called again. Rings, rings, they hang up on me.
00:04:58
Speaker
And so I messaged him and I was like, hey, like, I don't know, like, can you? tell them to cancel the order. like I'm so sorry, like I don't know what's happening. They won't let me, like they won't pick up the phone. He's like, you know, they just keep hanging up the phone. So like they're like physically just hanging up the phone. And I'm like, okay, so like I try to go on the website. There's no way to like cancel on the website. So I'm like, okay, how do I contact their customer service? like I'm not trying to be a bitch. I don't wanna get anyone in trouble. I just wanna cancel my order so I can go find something else to eat. right Their customer service just leads you back to call the store. And so I just kept going in this loop.
00:05:32
Speaker
And so I was like, okay, I found an an email and the email is like, we'll get back to you within like a week. And I was like, I hate my life right now. And so I asked the guy, I was like, oh so like, what, what do I do? Like, is there anything that you can do? He was like, well, you can contact DoorDash through your account. I didn't call DoorDash, like DoorDash has nothing to do with me. I can call them, but I don't have an account.
00:05:53
Speaker
and He's like, yeah, that's not going to work. They won't do anything. and so He had to call me and do a three-way dial. When was the last time you had a three-way fucking dial? Let me just start there. A three-way dial with their customer service to get this order canceled. and it was the stupid is like I was just so mad at that point because it's stupid. Because you're hangry. I was very hangry.
00:06:16
Speaker
and my poor husband, my poor husband, and his friend who had tried to help push this couch through my freaking door all day long were just sitting on the couch, silent, looking at me, working on this on the phone, just, like, afraid to say a word because I was just... I couldn't. I couldn't. I couldn't. Anyways, we get the money returned to us and we're like, fuck it. We're gonna go get a burger. Let's go. Let's go. We're gonna go get a burger. So we go to this burger place.
00:06:46
Speaker
everything's great we order our food and you know what like i know i'm not like i made it pretty simple i was just like listen just dry just give me a lettuce and tomato and cheese that's it dry burger lettuce tomato and cheese i'll figure out my own condiments i'm i'm fine because i hate mustard i fucking hate mustard i know so i get my burger everyone else's is right and mine has mustard and pickles on it two things in this world I fucking hate more than anything and I was so nice about it I really thought about just like eating it and I was like if it was just the pickles I'd pick them off but I cannot with fucking mustard it's so bitter I can't it's disgusting
00:07:27
Speaker
And so I went up there and I was like, hey, my burger's are wrong. Like, actually, you know, it's not supposed to have any pickles or mustard. Can we get that off? And he's like, yeah, sure. And I showed him the ticket. It said, dry lettuce, tomatoes, cheese. And I showed it to him and he's like, oh yeah, no, we'll really make it. No problem. He personally brings me the burger and says, this should be right now. Can you open it? Did they scrape it off? No. Okay. It literally was a hot brand new burger.
00:07:53
Speaker
with mustard and pickles and cheese no lettuce or tomato it was like This is not right. And he goes, that's weird. I'm sorry. One second. Like he was very apologetic. Like he was like, it's it wasn't like a spite thing. Like he was literally like what happened. And this is the manager at this point. And I'm like, what are you doing? What are you doing? Anyways, I was very nice about it. I was very nice. And I was just sitting there. I know because I'm not, I get frustrated so easily. And poor Ace and his friend still sitting across from me just looking at their burgers and I'm like, eat.
00:08:30
Speaker
just eat your food. Stealing fries off my child's plate. Yeah and then the third time it came it had mustard on it but no pickles and it did have lettuce and tomatoes and I was like hey like buddy still I'm not trying to be I'm not trying to be a jerk.
00:08:49
Speaker
I just, I really, I can't do mustard. but just like Anything else, put anything else on it, I will eat it. Just please, no mustard, just please. I'm not trying to be difficult, but I've paid like $11 for this burger at this point.
00:09:01
Speaker
and like just give me meat and cheese, I don't care. And they finally got it right after like what, the fourth time? Oh my god. Yes. And like I have continued to have problems with food like this ever since then. And I'm like, I don't know. I know it's like a weird correlation. Correlation is not causation. I understand this. But like it's just been like this weird kickoff of like the stupidest, most inconvenient shit that I'm just like,
00:09:28
Speaker
That's a lot. i So I'm sorry. And well and you also you're dealing with all the you know life and everything. Wow. that's Oh yeah, potty training. Working on potty training too in the middle of all that. Right. And a brand new day job for the first time in a decade. Yes, and a brand new day job. And of course, like I do this thing where like whenever I start new chapters in my life, I have to like burn everything to the ground.
00:09:52
Speaker
and start over not in like a shitty way like I just I don't know what's wrong with me I have to and so of course I decided to paint my room too and that's been a thing because you had didn't have enough to do no and then my sink got clogged while I was painting the room we did not put paint on the sink okay I didn't say I know that was the first question I was like did anyone put paint on the sink They were like, no, we didn't. I'm like, okay, yeah. And so we've, I've been, and of course it's the sink that the air conditioner condensation drains into to drain out. And so even though it's clogged, it's clogged below that line. So the sink keeps filling up with water. And so I keep having to get a bucket and empty it out with a cup.
00:10:35
Speaker
This has all been like, this has been my week. And this is why i I'm just like, every time you message to me, I'm like, I can't. I literally can't. Yeah, I know. And I you know it's so funny for yeah the first couple years of your kiddos life. I, on purpose, avoided reaching out to you. I know. Because I knew that everything was a lot, but apparently it never stops. It doesn't.
00:10:58
Speaker
ah hot But you know what? To balance this whole mess out, he's actually started being like, just walking up to me randomly and giving me kisses.
00:11:09
Speaker
or walking up to me randomly and hugging me. I'm telling me he loves me. And like honestly, it makes it all worth it. I know that sounds so cheesy and corny. No, because every time he calls me Uncle Dinim, I die for the uninitiated. I don't know why he calls me Uncle Dinim. No idea. But ah he has other aunties, and you know he's got Uncle Monkey, who's my husband, and I'm Uncle Dinim.
00:11:34
Speaker
yeah And I am, I feel so freaking honored because I have my own title. Just Uncle D. Yeah. Yeah. And so that murders me and I get such a small dose and he just completely melts me every fucking time. yeah Oh,
Nim's Crow Routine and Icelandic Sorcery
00:11:49
Speaker
yes. And we just had his birthday last week, too. So my goodness, it has been eventful. But we are here. So how about you? Well, I mean, I actually really didn't have anything that you made me think I feed the crows outside of my office building at work every morning. Really? Yeah. So I get a big ass bag of walnuts that I keep at my desk and I, you know, every morning when I get in there, they line up on the building and they call at me when I get there.
00:12:13
Speaker
which makes me so happy. That is fantastic. And then I'll walk into my office, grab a handful of walnuts, walk back outside and just toss them and they go across this little patch of grass that's in front of my window. This morning there was like nine crows just eating. Are you counting crows? I don't know what to do with you.
00:12:34
Speaker
Yes, actually I am. And they're so cute. And they get so excited. And then there's one fat squirrel that'll come and hang out with them sometimes that it is brave enough to deal with the crows. But there's at are crows the ones that bring you trinkets or those ravens?
00:12:47
Speaker
Corpeds in general will can do that, you know? So, grackles. Oh, yeah. um And then crows and ravens, all of those can do that. We don't have ravens in the area where we live. I would be interested if those started bringing you stuff though. That'd be pretty cool. Yeah. Well, I've gotten a feather and a couple of shiny like gum wrapper kind of situations. But they could just, they they don't have to bring me anything just and i saying good cold when they say good morning to me. And I probably look like a crazy person to all the other people that are walking up to their buildings and stuff. And i I'm just grinning up at the roof saying, good morning. I'm going to need you to try to get a picture of them if you can. I know sometimes it's hard with this. I have i have some. Yeah, I'll put something on Instagram. Yeah, I don't really have a whole lot going on, but that is a fun thing. It sounds awesome. I love that. Love it. There's that sound again. i I thought that was you.
00:13:42
Speaker
Excuse me. Oh, I'm sorry. And Kitty's sleeping. Again. Yeah. Well, did you hear that too? I guess he did. I guess he did. Well, I don't... There's never anything there when I check. Yeah, it's fine. It's probably squirrel or something.
00:14:04
Speaker
So besides my allergies, if you hear me shuffling, I promise it is just turning to fall and my face hates it. So I wanted to talk about Icelandic sorcery. Ooh. Yes. I thought it was a fun one. I actually ran into like part of it and I was like, this is real weird. And as I've told you before, i like these whole regions just, they get real crazy.
00:14:31
Speaker
And you're like, I don't even know how y'all got here, but we're going to talk about that. All right. So just to start, as we all know, life in the 17th century, pretty rough. As we all know. As we all know, we've we've been there, lived there, seen it in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
00:14:50
Speaker
ah So, you know, people at the time struggling to survive, they were facing pirate raids constantly, natural disasters because like it's Iceland, and even the richest of the people, they're living in stonehuts. So if the rich people are living in stonehuts, imagine what the worst of them are living in, right? Well, it makes sense. Stonehuts will be the things that won't catch fire and poor people can burn up. Exactly. So basically, the peasants of the time are feeling pretty hopeless, so they decided to turn to witchcraft.
00:15:19
Speaker
Like you do. Yeah, like you do. So, sorry. I just went flashback to being a teenager and feeling hopeless and turning to witchcraft. It's exactly what happened. Same. Yeah.
00:15:31
Speaker
Anyways, so what's interesting about Icelandic sorcery is that most of the rituals were usually done for practical reasons. So not really spiteful reasons. It's mostly like controlling the weather or helping them feed their families. They got pretty grotesque with it, but it was always for like, you know, reasons that would benefit them or the community. It wasn't, you know, I hate Margaret down the street and I want her house to burn down or something like that.
00:15:59
Speaker
so her house was probably made of stick so you can do that without it's true exactly so with roots and paganism Icelandic magic it it was split into two types of magic and so there's a little bit of a background on their beliefs and magic before we get into what they did right so the two types of magic were I'm gonna butcher all of this Galder and Seder I think is what it is and they were mostly split by gender so one type of magic was for males the other one for females so Galder of course was for males and it was considered to be a positive and respectful magic. or yeah So it was practiced in a self-awareness state, like there was no altered state, like you weren't getting high off shrooms or something like that. It was believed that the Norse god Odin was one of these kinds of practice practitioners of magic. And then to add another level to it, there were three different types of galdor. There's the white magic based on naturalistic supernatural practices for beneficial purposes.
00:16:57
Speaker
Of course, black magic was darker, a demonized magic was supernatural powers for evil purposes, and then varnargaldr was another type of that magic. And it was important because it consisted of like protection spells that were applied at the end of different spells or bull belief or practices that they did, and that would protect the sorcerers from wrath of other sorcerers. So basically, like if I did a dark spell on you, I would put this protection spell at the end of it so that you couldn't trace it back to me.
00:17:26
Speaker
Oh. Isn't that interesting? So I can't star 69 the spell. Exactly. I love that. Yes. That would take notes on that for when I learned magic. but So Seder was practiced by females and that was the magic they did. And it was believed the Norse goddess Freya was one of them. Yes. This was considered a lesser magic and it was shameful for men to practice it. And Seder required an altered trance-like state to practice it.
00:17:53
Speaker
just a little background on that. And then there were a few books on the types of magic that they did for Icelandic magic. There was the Icelandic Book of Magic. It's called the the Gald Rakver. It's also known as Little Book of Magic. And there's also the Red Skinna, also known as the Red Leather, which sounds really not great.
00:18:16
Speaker
The Icelandic Book of Magic dates back to the 1600s. It's a real thing. You can see there's apparently an Icelandic sorcery museum in Iceland, which I need to go. right It actually looks really amazing. And they didn't provide like a lot of information about each item that's in there, but you can see like all the cool items that are in there.
00:18:32
Speaker
But yeah, so the Icelandic Book of Magic dates back to 1600s. It's about 32 pages long and it has three additional loose pages that they just like shoved in there, which I thought was funny. Like, you know, I wrote the book and like I got a few more to put in there. It has all kinds of things in it. So there's like prayers, rituals, spells, superstitions, like which day of the year will bring bad luck for for them. And then there's the red schoona, which is the red leather book and it is the darkest book of magic and it is bound in unshaven red hair.
00:19:02
Speaker
They believe it's most likely like a red-skinned bull or something like that. Okay. Yeah, I know. I went a different direction with that. Same. It was written in gold-lettered runes by a bishop in the late 1400s and early 1500s to obtain control of Satan. Oh, yes. So his plan was to make Satan his slave when he decided to rule the world and to ensure that no one else could get a hold of his secrets. He made sure that this book was buried with him. There's a whole bunch of other books and they have all sorts of interesting stuff in them. I'll add a link to our page.
00:19:32
Speaker
if you want to like look into them, because like man, it was so much. I was like, I can't put all of this in here. it just it It goes way off the wall. That was the background. Now to get into the specific ones that were just real weird. In my opinion, Icelandic sorcery involves some pretty nasty stuff. It usually had some kind of body sacrifice with it, an elaborate ritual. So the things I'm going over today, they're mostly based in folklore and found writings. Body sacrifice or human sacrifice? body sacrifice. So you will get into what that means in just a moment. Because I i too was like, wait, but that was a very specific choice of words you chose. So most of the stuff that we're going over, like they say that they don't have anything exact saying that they did happen. But like a lot of this stuff is very elaborate.
00:20:25
Speaker
Most of the items you see today are replicas, but how detailed the instructions are, it feels like someone had to like really go through these steps a few times to comb through this process, right? And so I'm like, I don't know, I think you guys tried some of this stuff. So to start, Nabrock, also known as Necropants. Necropants. Yes, they're just as disgusting as they sound. But wait, there's more. I thought it sounded awesome. I want some Necropant. Oh, oh, you just wait.
00:20:52
Speaker
you just wait. Okay. And if you still want them, I will donate. I don't know. Okay. They were literally leggings made from the skin of a dead friend. Oh. The wearer would need to make a pact with the friend before they died stating that once they died from natural causes, so you can't kill me, they would have permission to skin them from the waist down.
00:21:15
Speaker
After their friend died, the sorcerer would need to wait until they were buried, dig them up, and then skin them without creating any holes or tears. So you gotta get the whole thing in one swipe. If all this wasn't bad enough, the neck or pants would have to be worn against your bare skin. And then the belief was that wearing them would manifest endless wealth after a coin was stolen from a penniless widow, which fucking rude, like she's penniless and a widow at that time. I'm just gonna take her her her money. That's oddly specific. It is, but there's more.
00:21:49
Speaker
The coin would then need to be placed in the now empty scrotal flap. I don't have one of those, so you might have to find someone else. With a scrap of paper that had an Icelandic stave symbol on it. And it was said that the pants would eventually meld with a wearer as long as the original coin wasn't removed. And it would continue to fill it with coins for the rest of time. Yeah, I really wish I understood what the thought was behind this ritual. Like to be a fly on the wall when this was thought up really brings a whole new meaning to money, Zach.
00:22:19
Speaker
ah yeah like it's just not okay. Let's say that you got tired of your overfilling money sack, right? So you have to convince someone else to take the pants and step into each leg as you get out, otherwise they'll just stick to you forever.
00:22:39
Speaker
Do you still think Necropants are cool? You still want Necropants? Well, no. I mean, maybe. I don't know. Okay. Well, you have to find someone else. I do not have Squirtle Sack for you to put coins in. I don't think you would put it on my ass anyways. I could be the Pennyless Widow if you want. I'd have to kill Ace first. I guess I could use his Necropants. He's good. That's true. And then I would be a Pennyless Widow at that time. There you go. Two birds. Are you gonna give me your Squirtle Sack coins? Yeah, sure.
00:23:12
Speaker
also is If you're listening, don't listen. Yeah, don't. That's just one of them, right? Another ritual was to summon a zombie, as you do. This required you to shout poetry and invocations over a dead person's grave.
00:23:30
Speaker
And then you walk around the church graveyard and spit on their grave. Oh, when doing this, you have to be very careful who you choose to summon as they will be nine times stronger than they were in real life. So you'd want to make sure you found someone who was fairly weak in life. Like, right? Like you don't want someone like that was like a guard or something or a bouncer because once they arise, you have to fight them and then get face to face with the zombie and look up all the liquid that comes out of their nose and mouth until it's clean.
00:23:58
Speaker
This will tame them and put them into your control. And then once you set the zombie on someone, they will not only follow the person until their life is over, but for the next seven generations as well.
00:24:11
Speaker
so we're going a necromance with a neroant but ah me Oh my gosh. Yes. Um, that one and see, it's funny cause they were like, you know, most of it was done to like help you. And it's like, please don't feel a helpful. This feels, this does not sound like practical magic. This does not sound practical. I mean, I guess at the time, maybe, I mean, you need money and everyone's poor. Okay. That's kind of practical. And then yes. And wearing my friend's ass's pants,
00:24:44
Speaker
is also practical. Yeah. And then, you know, the zombie thing, you're setting them maybe on the rich people or something. So anyways, next one. Tilberry was this two-headed snake thing that would help people steal goat milk. Practical. But again, disgusting. So these things look like something out of a nightmare. It was summoned by stealing a rib from a corpse that was recently interred And then they would wrap the bone with gray wool that was stolen from the sheep of a widow. Again, this this poor lady, like they just keep taking her things. This would then be kept between a woman's breast while she spit out her communion bread or wafer.
00:25:29
Speaker
you know what that is for three Sundays and then feed it to the totem. So basically, she steals a rib and some wool, wraps it around the wool, shoves it under her tit, goes to church, takes the communion, spits it out, and then feeds it to her tit thing for three Sundays. But wait, there's more. They believed this would bring the Tilbury to life until it was suckling the inside of her thigh where it would leave a mark like a wart. Does this sound familiar? Should it? Yes, because it's similar to the Loron witch's teat, which was said to be used to feed their familiars. Yeah, okay. So I thought that was kind of interesting, the yeah but back to the Tilbury. Once this creature reached maturity, it was believed that it would find its way to a neighbor's land and suckle their goat's milk until it was full enough to roll back to the creator's home and expel its stolen milk.
00:26:26
Speaker
I just feel like it'd be easier to go and ask for some goat milk. I agree. And because, yeah I mean, you said before that they weren't nefarious. They were just practical, but that's also, I mean, it's a lot of thieving. It is a lot of thieving and then like you're spitting out your communion wafer, which then is blasphemous depending on what you believe in. And then you're feeding it to your to your to your rib tit monster. Your rib tit monster. i'm I'm just calling it as it is. Okay. I would call him Steve. Sorry. Continue.
00:27:01
Speaker
Anyways, there is also a book called The Sorcerer's Screed, yeah i know it sounds yes which contains the largest selection of ancient Icelandic spells in existence, and each is accompanied by a stave with detailed instructions on how to use them and what to use them for. So Staves, I think we discussed earlier, their sigils created to invoke varying things. So like a few I'm going to go over, but some of these seemed insanely complicated. Even if they did work, I'm not sure it would be worth all the effort. And then if you mess it up, like do you start over or you just screwed? So one in particular was to be used to raise the dead, exercise evil spirits or for laying ghosts.
00:27:45
Speaker
which I assume is like getting rid of ghosts. I don't I'm not sure what laying ghosts is unless you're like screwing them. I don't know. So for this one you would inscribe it onto the scalp of a horse using a mixture of seal blood, fox blood, and human blood reciting a specific verse over the stave, right? Like it just feels so complex complex but like for why?
00:28:10
Speaker
and not Well, I guess if you're exercising evil spirits like I mean, I mean it should be complex right if it wasn't anybody that's true um Another is listed as the greater shield of terror um This one had to be drawn on black paper with a raven bile which rude I mean you're gonna make a poor raven throw up um and then placed in the nest of a brooding raven until the Ravens eggs hatched then the paper was to keep you safe from your would-be enemies regardless of the number. So you basically would hold it up but before you when you're facing your enemies and it would appear to them as endless black dragons and you can set them loose on your people.
00:28:48
Speaker
I'm just picturing somebody being like, yeah, and holding up a piece of paper and and like looking all fierce and stuff. And everybody looking, I'm like, okay. They probably were just like, that dude's crazy. where you like And they're like, yeah, it works. You know? Yeah, that's pretty bad. So another state was called the looking glass, which is said to reveal backwards and forwards for years and centuries throughout the world, which I thought was interesting because I think that was very similar to a book we were reading recently.
00:29:15
Speaker
where they had the mirror. yeah yeah right So this I actually wanted to quote because it was it was really nice the way they put it. So, quote, the stave is to be drawn on calfskin that has never been out under the bare sky with water from a raven's eye and blood from the heart of a man and woman who have loved each other with all their hearts but never consummated their love. And the stave is to be drawn with water with a water rail's feather.
00:29:43
Speaker
The myrrh is to be strewn over the entire stave. When the stave is dry, go to a spring whose temperature remains constant, winter and summer, and over which no bird has flown that day. And strike the water with it, making sure to turn the stave downward. Then let the stave lie still in the water while circling the spring four times counterclockwise. Take the stave from the water and peek through it. And he who drew the stave will be able to see, if he wishes, throughout the world backwards and forwards through the four cardinal directions.
00:30:16
Speaker
then the stave is to be enclosed in an amnion and never taken out unless it's to be used. Do you see what I mean? Like, it's way too complicated. Like, at that point, it's like, gosh, it's like trying to follow the most ridiculous instructions. It's just it's too much. Like, is it even worth it anymore? It's just why it's IKEA furniture and their instructions. Oh, my God. It was the worst.
00:30:40
Speaker
and i sound So, of course witchcraft was rejected by the Christian Church in Iceland, just as it was in Salem and other parts of the world. But oddly enough, males were more often victims of witch hunts in Iceland. So the Icelandic Brünenold, I can't say that word. I can hear the word in my head. Brünenold, or the Age of Fire, was their Salem witch trials.
00:31:06
Speaker
Over 200 people were charged for either practicing sorcery or being in possession of dangerous magical artifacts. So just like in Salem, meeting misfortune meant blaming someone they disliked.
00:31:18
Speaker
leaving the accused to prove that they were in fact not a sorcerer. In the unfortunate event that they happened to be in possession of any oddly shaped pebble, runic booklets or inscribed pieces of wood or raven feathers, they would be condemned as a sorcerer for rec possessing magic artifacts, which meant being burned at the stake by an anointed man of god. Yeah, so I would be fucked because I have so many pebbles.
00:31:41
Speaker
I love rocks. I don't know. Yeah. That's my usual vacation souvenir is a rock from wherever I went. Oh, that's good to know. That's cute. I like that. So yeah, that's a little bit of ice, a little bit, a lot of bit of Icelandic sorcery and just all over the place because man, it gets,
Exploring Baba Yaga and Slavic Folklore
00:32:00
Speaker
it gets crazy. So yeah, that's definitely more. Yeah. And we'll just say fucked up than I expected it to be. Right. Like it's just a, why does everything have to do with like,
00:32:09
Speaker
carving open someone's skull and blood and bile and pants and scrotums and... Because it's fucking metal. Well, that was a lot. It was a lot. It wasn't a little bit of a lot, it was a lot of a lot. Yeah. I don't even know how to follow up with that. I know a lot about a lot of different cultures of witchcraft and stuff just from personal interest and I didn't know any of that. So that's a lot of fun. Thank you. Yeah.
00:32:43
Speaker
So are you familiar with Baba Yaga? It sounds familiar. Wasn't that the... Oh no, I'm thinking of, yeah. Isn't that like the boogeyman? So you are remembering it from John Wick fame because they call him Baba Yaga and they translated it as boogeyman. I'm thinking of the one from the last one that we did. From the first, was it the first time? From London after midnight? Yeah. Okay. Am I confused? I'm confused. I'm always. We're going to discuss the Baba Yaga of, I was supposed to say of Icelandic folklore, of Slavic folklore. Okay.
00:33:18
Speaker
So, there's several different versions of her. This is a closet monster. No. Okay, never mind. Oh, it's a lady. It's a lady. Never mind. The one I'm thinking of is ah is a guy. Yes. There's several different versions of her, but they all share some similarities. and So, I'm kind of going to just like break down the entomology of the name to kind of describe here. So, Baba basically means granny or old woman. Okay. In some Eastern European languages, Baba is also a name for Pelican, which might come out again later. More recently, it's been used as a derogatory term to describe an annoying or difficult old woman. There isn't a totally decided on entomology for Yaga, but in Croatian, Serbian, Czech, Old English, Old Norse, and several others, there's words that are similar that mean things like disease.
00:34:02
Speaker
fury, anger, pain, and my personal favorite, legendary evil female being. Oh, yeah. Her D and&D alignment would definitely be chaotic. Depending on which story you're listening to, it would be chaotic, good, neutral, or evil. Just depends. She may help you. She may trick you. She might be both.
00:34:20
Speaker
There's so many classic Russian fairy tales with her present, but it's rarely her story. Generally, she's like a cog in the wheel of like the main character. She's either going to give them a chance to prove themselves worthy, like the wolf in Little Red Riding Hood kind of situation.
00:34:34
Speaker
Not quite. Not quite. But, I mean, not I mean and don't know, there wasn't really any positive from the wolf, but I think she has some stories that are actually very similar to that, so fair enough. Okay. Or proving that they're garbage and punishing them in varying degrees of horror and hilarity. She's known to have mastery over both nature and death, and her house is most often depicted as a hut on chicken or pelican legs. Ooh, yes, that sounds familiar. That constantly rotates until you whisper the spell to make it stop. Ugh. I want that house.
00:35:04
Speaker
Most typically Baba Yaga resembles an old wrinkly witch stereotype. She has a long hooked nose or sometimes referred to as a beak like a pelican. A long stringy white hair and the bonious appendages ever. And depending on which story, it either means that she's just like scrawny and bony or it's actually an exposed bone. So it just depends on how dark the tail goes. She was known to fly in a low riding mortar, like a mortar and pestle, propelled by of the pestle.
00:35:26
Speaker
And she would sweep away her tracks with her broom. In some stories, she's known to eat children, but she's also been depicted as a beautiful deity. There's actually some scholars that believe that she's the Slavic equivalent of the Greek Persephone. Oh, interesting. So the earliest recorded reference to Baba Yaga was from woodblock prints from the 17th century from Russia. And at that point, she had already been legend for generations at least. And this was, you know, 17th century. So here's a pretty classic picture. Oh,
00:35:56
Speaker
That does not look great. That honestly looks like my sleep paralysis demon. Not a fan. Great. Well, I think she's super fascinating because there's a lot of different versions of her. There's the deity of life and death. She's widely associated with forest wildlife, and there's also a lot of tales of her escorting death on his collections and devouring the souls of the dead.
00:36:17
Speaker
She's also the scary old witch that steals and eats children. She's got iron teeth, bear claws, and a vulture's beak in infrequent descriptions. She's known to take children wandering by her hut with the intent of eating them, though there are no tales where she actually eats them, at least not in the surviving folklore. She likes to play with her food. Yeah. But in modern retellings, there are people eating happening. yeah um And then she's also the wise woman in the woods who might help you if you're worthy. So here's where I'm going to give a super freakin' abridged version of a well-known Baba Yaga story. Hold on. Before you get into that, what makes you worthy? Is it if you're good or if you're bad? if you're It's usually if you're good. And the story will kind of, or if she perceives you as good. And the story, and then the subsequent
00:36:59
Speaker
thing I'm gonna say after, we'll kind of illustrate some of that. So she should be able to like see your inner soul, like your inner... Not necessarily, as you'll see in the story. And there's, I mean, it depends on the version. There's a lot of really cool ones, but most of them are too long for me to have read. So so this one has really heavy Cinderella vibes. It's called Vasilisa the Beautiful. oh The last gift given to Vasilisa from her mother before her death was a doll. Her mother told her that if she fed the doll and asked her for help, it would help her through anything and she'd always be safe. Eventually, her father remarries a mean-ass woman with Atracha's daughters. Obviously, they were jealous of her beauty and the fact that she wasn't a twat.
00:37:40
Speaker
They would make her do all of the hard chores, thinking it would make her look bulky and tired, but it backfired. She got healthier while they got ugly from their spite, Dorian Graystyle. Turns out she was feeding and asking the doll for help each night, and the doll would comfort her and then do all of her chores. Once it was time for Vasilisa to marry, the dudes just line up, which of course pisses off the stepmom because she wants everybody to line up for hers. yeah She throws a tantrum and makes a move out to the middle of the forest where Baba Yaga was known to live.
00:38:08
Speaker
So the stepsisters and Vasilisa were working by candlelight and one of the sisters is a total bitch and blows out the light on purpose and forces Vasilisa to have to go to Baba Yaga for a new flame. I guess they were out of Tinder, I don't know what the deal was but...
00:38:22
Speaker
they She blew out the flame and made Vasilisa go out. and ru So asks her doll for help and the doll said as long as it was with her, she would be safe. She sets out in the night through the forest towards Baba Yaga's hut. As she passes through the trees, she comes across the white horseman of morning, the red horseman of day, and the black horseman of night. The black horseman leads her to Baba Yaga's gate, which is made of human bones and skulls with flames coming out of the eyes. oh The lock was made of a sharp jaw. and I mean, I feel like she could have just gotten fleeing from there but we're getting there i'm sorry you don't steal from baba yaga oh my bad i feel like you're already fucked so might as well just go hard so baba yaga had been out and came barreling through in her mortar just as vasilisa arrived vasilisa bowed and requested a light as humbly as she could
00:39:12
Speaker
Baba Yaga agrees to give her a light if she completes several challenges. If she fails, she will eat her. Ooh! Vasilisa of course feeds her doll and asks for help. The doll completes all of the challenges except for one. Baba Yaga is surprised that Vasilisa could not only get these things done, but with the quality of work.
00:39:29
Speaker
She sends Vasilisa home with one of the skulls from her gate with the fiery eyes. Oh. When Vasilisa returns home, her stepmother and stepsisters are happy to see her because they've been with no heat for days since she'd been gone. Because some asshole decided to blow the fire out. I was wondering about that. Anyway, when they greet her flames shoot from the eyes of the skull and incinerates everybody except for Vasilisa.
00:39:48
Speaker
And that's where I'd like to end it, but I'm also going to kind of tie in. It in the it ends with some bullshit about wooing a prince and living living happily ever after. this is one That's one of the more well-known ones. and There's a similar one that I prefer that's still kind of Cinderella-esque, where the the good daughter does things correctly and is sweet and befriends the mice. And then Baba Yaga rewards her with riches. And then her evil stepsister is a twat, doesn't help, beats the poor mice with a rolling pin. And so Baba Yaga breaks her into pieces and puts her in a box.
00:40:14
Speaker
See, and like, I'm surprised though, just to like really like dial back here, right? Why didn't Baba Yaga get pissed that she used the doll to help her? She didn't know. It's assumed she didn't know. I don't know. Then how did she know about the sisters?
00:40:30
Speaker
She didn't. She just gave her the skull. Oh, I assume that's why she gave her the skull so the flames wouldn't murder her. She asked for a light. And I don't know, maybe it's because Baba Yaga was so impressed. She just charmed it to do her bidding. I don't know. I did leave out some details about the tasks and chores and stuff in the Vasilisa story because they kind of annoyed me. It was all cooking, cleaning, sewing, and then she gets married at the end. So it felt very like a story to teach girls how to be good wives or to want to be good wives. But the other one's just vicious and fucked up and romance free and those stories need to be told too. so Which brings us to the feminist fucking icon of just being clever and badass and who gives no fucks and takes no shit. So in media from forever until now, once a woman hits a certain age, they become the wicked witch.
00:41:15
Speaker
but evil stepmother, the nag, and countless other different negative stereotypes you associate with older femme. One thing that remains constant in Baba Yaga's tales is that she does what she wants. She gives no fucks, she takes no shit. You can't argue with her, but you can reason with her. And if you piss her off, meets back on the menu. I'm not condoning cannibalism, that's just full force.
00:41:37
Speaker
But Baba Yaga is a fairy godmother, a trickster, a wicked witch, and an earth goddess, and sometimes a villain. And then a quote from Lindy Ryan, who put together a very cool compilation of Baba Yaga tales written by modern female horror authors. It's pretty cool. I'll link that. But she says, the essence of Baba Yaga exists in many cultures and many stories and symbolizes the unpredictable and untamable nature of the female spirit of Mother Earth and and the relationship of women to the wild.
00:42:04
Speaker
That was Lindy Ryan who said that. and So since the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, Slavic and Russian folklore went out into the world and spread into media and pop culture. Eubaba from Spirited Away ah is a Baba Yaga character. Hellboy has a Baba Yaga character. there's countless ah children's books, either with adaptations or classic tales, new stories, and just characters inspired by her. Some that I remember are, there's a book called Bony Legs and a book called Stone Soup. Oh, Stone Soup, I remember Stone Soup. Yeah, so here's Bony Legs, and Stryganono is one of them, and then Bone Soup. I have almost bought Bash Bony Legs multiple times. He'll probably end up with it.
00:42:43
Speaker
But she's also in Smite in Fortnite, so even the younger generations have an exposure to her. And I just think she's neat. And I want her house. Yeah, like, definitely not what I was expecting. I'll say that. Like, I don't know why I was expecting more of a, of like a boogeyman type character. Like, it it more just sounds like she's like, fuck around and find out kind of person, what person creature thing. Yeah, she's, she's just kind of the classic. Baba Duke, that's what I was mixing it up with.
00:43:13
Speaker
Another Baba. That makes sense. That makes sense. But yeah, that's, uh, that's Baba Yaga. Yeah. I mean, the house, I definitely remember the house from that the chicken feet really, really, uh, triggered the memory. Yeah, triggered it for me. Yeah. The house does look pretty cool, but it is also kind of nasty. Sorry. I'm looking at pictures of the house. No, that's cool. I freaking love that. I really love the house so much.
Recommendations and Thriller Discussions
00:43:43
Speaker
Did you bring me nightmare fuel today? It's not really related to this stuff. It's more just like I told you that I like to watch like crime series stuff. Yeah. And one of the ones that I've been watching lately, honestly, like it was kind of weird because I was like, I don't understand why this is even a thing until like the final few episodes. And I was like, Oh God, like just the switch. So it's called Little Miss Innocent. I don't know if you've seen anything about it. I don't know if it's on Hulu.
00:44:10
Speaker
or Netflix. But it's basic it's a truth it's a true thing and it's basically about a woman who was tried for possibly murdering her ex-boyfriend's mother who worked in the same like clinic as her.
00:44:26
Speaker
and she maintains her innocence but but like and you really really feel like you believe her for a long time and you're like what is wrong with all these people being like she definitely did it it was no one else and she's like it was obviously all these other people guys all the evidence guys pay attention every Everyone listen and then like at the end you see all the evidence they have against her and you're like, whoa Wait, wait a minute So I don't know it's one of those really interesting ones because I do like the whiplash effect on a lot of crime things Wait, where was this one? We're just little miss innocent little miss. Yeah, it's a little miss innocent Hulu cool. Yeah, so it's on Hulu. um I think it's only a couple of episodes like not not a couple a few but
00:45:11
Speaker
So it's like three or more. Let's be yeah, it's three, three of them. So yeah, it's it's really weird. to Like a limited series, like that's the completion of it. 100%. Yeah, yeah. And it's it's just it's a good quick one to watch. I say it's my nightmare feel because to me, I don't understand people who can present themselves as one thing while internally being another or people who can turn on and shut off emotions very quickly. You used to be a waitress.
00:45:36
Speaker
I know but I was that waitress that always got the you'd be prettier if you smile honey um because I just might I just have resting bitch face and I have a permanent scowl and I say exactly what I'm thinking and what I'm feeling.
00:45:53
Speaker
And very few people understand that it's not quite as serious as it sounds half the time. So yeah, so to me, it's just very, very interesting, especially when with people like this, and there's another one I was watching about psychopaths, it's very similar, where you just watch these people turn on and off. And I don't understand, I don't understand the switch. I feel like, you know, even to prepare myself from going from one friend group to another, because you're different around different friend groups, right?
00:46:21
Speaker
there's shifts in your chain in your personality. it It feels like that, but just so quick. It's just kind of scary sometimes. But yeah, so that's my nightmare feel. Wow. yeah So I'm going to recommend but this book does not have actually anything to do with Baba Yaga, but it made me think of Baba Yaga because of the whole woman of a certain age situation. There's a book called Mary from an author named Nat Cassidy.
00:46:45
Speaker
The author wrote it as almost like a love letter to Carrie, but as instead of the starting your period, right? It's the menopause side yeah and everybody's saying that this bitch is crazy and what she's actually going through and it's horror. That does sound like some psychological thriller shit. Yeah, she like moves to this small town to take care of her crotchety old aunt, and there's like weird shit happening in the town, but she's also going through menopause, and so she's not sure what's real and what's not, and it's just a lot of fun. It's called Mary by Nat Cassidy. Interesting, and i actually, they're that one. Yeah, they really enjoyed it. It's kind of one of those, like, good for her. I mean, I hope it ends good for her, but we'll see. It's a new favorite genre I'm finding is is books that make me say good for her.
00:47:36
Speaker
after all of the darkness. Do we have a palate cleanser? are we right I did not bring a palate cleanser. I did! So we talked about Baba Yaga, who's in Slavic folklore, so we're going to see which mythical creature from Slavic folklore are you. I didn't realize there were so many. Yeah. Okay. Where would you like to live? In a cabin in the woods? In a haunted house? At the beach? Somewhere in the mountains?
00:48:03
Speaker
hell somewhere were warm and sunny in a city with history. oh So definitely know we're hot because fuck all that. So not held. Got it. Nowhere sunny and beachy. I just don't do well with big bodies of water either. It's either the cabin in the woods or the mountains. I want to say the cabin in the woods. okay I think that one's my ideal. What do you strive for in life?
00:48:28
Speaker
To be truly loved. To be admired and envied. To find yourself. To find peace. To find what it means to be happy. To be feared. To be comfortable and warm. To find peace. I feel like I'm about to get real of bengeful, bitch. What's your favorite Shakespeare play? Merchant of Venice, Othello, Macbeth, Tempest, Hamlet, Midsummer Night's Dream, Romeo and Juliet.
00:48:54
Speaker
It's Richard Othello and Hamlet. Hamlet. Okay, the cliche question. Which element do you most identify with? Air, water, earth. I want to identify with earth, but I am fire. So here's where I get to mispronounce a lot of things. okay Pick a traditional Polish soup. ooh There's borsch, which is beetroot soup. Yucky. Kladnik, cold vegetable soup. Zürich, which is sour rye soup. Ew. Or vodka.
00:49:23
Speaker
I like the vegetable soup. Pick a Slav aesthetic. Slav squat. Pickled everything. Homemade alcohol. no Communist-era buildings. Floral prints and embroidery. Potatoes with everything. Or we wheat fields with poppies and cornflowers. Potatoes potatoes with everything.
00:49:45
Speaker
yeah Pick a piece of media inspired by Slavic folklore. ah Deathless by Catherine M. Valente. I haven't read Deathless, but I've read some of her other books. I'm just gonna, oh, I'm gonna pick The Witcher saga for you.
00:49:56
Speaker
um i was inspired my slavic What kind of weird little girl are you in the in your heart of hearts? okay Horse girl. Swamp girl. Barbie girl in a Barbie world. Life is plastic. It's fantastic. Cutting my Barbie's heads and making morbid sculptures out of them. Book nerd, which is probably you. Torturing small animals, not you. Climbing trees with scraped knees. Climbing trees with scraped knees. Pick a flavor of vodka. Hazelnut, lemon, plain, raspberry, plum, and coffee. Lemon or plain.
00:50:35
Speaker
You got to pick one. Lemon. Okay. Don't yell at me. Okay. You, I'm going to need you to Google this because I don't know what it is and there's not a picture, are a Leshy, L-E-S-H-Y. E-S-H-Y. Okay. The spirit of the woods and also the heart of the forest. oh You feel most at peace in nature and surrounded by plants. Who can blame you? This is cool. You probably also really like potatoes. I love potatoes. Yeah, I think this was actually in The Witcher.
00:51:04
Speaker
And not the last was not the last season, I think the one before that. But this is pretty cool looking. Let me see if I can show it to you. It looks like a Wendigo. Yeah. That's cool. I love Wendigos. Are you a Wendigo? Do I look like that? Do you know Wendigo? Oh my god. Goodbye. Sweet dreams.
00:51:27
Speaker
If you have topic suggestions, movie or book recommendations, questions for the cottage, or just want to say hi, you can email us at nightmarecottage at gmail dot.com. You can find us on Instagram at nightmarecottage and on our website at nightmarecottage.com. Sleep tight, if you dare.