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Episode 5 - Trish Kwenda
11 Plays1 month ago
Trish Kwenda: A Journey of Connection and Resilience
Born Patricia Kwenda, Trish is a vibrant and engaging individual whose roots stretch back to Zimbabwe, with her heart now firmly grounded in South Africa, where she has resided since 2009. Her journey also includes a significant period in the United States from 2001 to 2009, enriching her global perspective.
With a rich and successful background in sales and marketing, Trish demonstrated her remarkable adaptability and resilience by reinventing her career path in 2023, stepping confidently into the intricate world of corporate governance following the shifts brought by the pandemic.
Beyond her professional achievements, Trish is a proud mother to two adult daughters and a doting grandmother to two cherished little ones. An undeniable extrovert, she thrives on genuine connection, finding joy and energy in traveling, embracing the outdoors, catching up with friends, and immersing herself in a captivating book or show. Trish brings an infectious warmth, boundless energy, and unwavering resilience to every facet of her life.
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Transcript
Podcast Introduction
00:00:01
Speaker
Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Journey from 1975 2025. Yes, this is podcast.
00:00:09
Speaker
yes this is a podcast about people who are turning 50 this year. They were born in 1975 and this year 2025, we are celebrating our 50th birthdays.
00:00:24
Speaker
We get to have conversations to find out how people, what they've experienced in the 50 years, what they're looking forward to, and most importantly, what it means to them to be turning this this big age of 50.
Meet Trish: Life in Johannesburg
00:00:39
Speaker
So today i am so happy and delighted to be chatting with my friend Trish. Trish lives in Johannesburg, South Africa, and we have actually only met one time.
00:00:53
Speaker
Right, Trish? Hello, Trish. Yes, we only met once at a mutual friend's wedding. I know, and it and we clicked. And we clicked. Oh, yes, let's not forget we were roomies, Bertha.
00:01:04
Speaker
Yes. Listen, we went from zero to 100 with this friendship, right? Exactly, exactly. Well, thank you so much for agreeing to come here and, you know, trusting me, really. No, thanks for even suggesting to talk to me. I'm pretty excited about it.
00:01:25
Speaker
So you are yet, you and I in the same boat. We are yet to hit 50. True, true. So we're still on our journey to 50.
Turning 50: Reflections and Plans
00:01:36
Speaker
How's that journey been? How's 2025 been for you, this journey towards 50, this final sprint to 50?
00:01:46
Speaker
That's a good question, hey? 2025, you know what? Let me honest. 2025 started on good note. It did start off on good note. And... twenty five twenty twenty five has started off on a good note it did start off in a good note and it's It's been a good year and it's been a year I've been very conscious that I am turning 50. I've had friends who've turned 50 already this year.
00:02:14
Speaker
So that's also, you know, just emphasized it more. That's a reminder. Just that reminder. Like, so this is it. We are really turning 50 this year.
00:02:26
Speaker
um But the year itself, like I said, it just started off on a good note and it's still going good. And um as I've watched other people turn 50, the more excited I've also gotten about it, like, okay, um my turn is coming. It's it's happening. it's It's actually happening.
00:02:50
Speaker
You know? Yeah. Oh my gosh. It has been amazing watching people celebrate their 50th. I know I've i've had, I've been in what, at least three celebrations this year for folks who've been turning 50. And it just makes me imagine how my time is going to be.
00:03:09
Speaker
Yeah, yeah but at least um you know what you're doing already. I do. I don't. let it for too long I've been planning for too long. That's the crazy part.
00:03:22
Speaker
But I don't know what I'm doing yet. What do you mean you don't know? what what what do you Okay, when you're when you when you think about the day, what's your perfect day to celebrate that milestone?
00:03:37
Speaker
I would love a dinner, really fancy dress-up dinner
00:03:45
Speaker
um with, you know, really close people. not not Nothing big, but people who've been in my life. Intimate. Meaningful. Something intimate, if I can put it that way.
00:04:01
Speaker
I hope one of those people is listening Right? um So they start calling people together Because you guys heard the wish So now it's just a matter of making it happen Make it happen, yeah yeah I think So yeah That's one thing I've imagined you know and so Some really fancy Really dress up dinner um And then Maybe before the dinner, I would also love to do something fun with those same people. So I think this is what I'm trying to figure out now. Like, what can we do? Maybe we can make it a weekend thing.
00:04:50
Speaker
You know, where the one day we find something fun to do, and then the next day we maybe then have the the dinner. that's I'm thinking along those lines.
00:05:03
Speaker
Well, you could do a day off because you guys are in South Africa. So and you're in December. So the weather would be nice if you do it in South Africa. Yes. hear True, true. um You could do a weekend where you do Cape Town or something. Winery and do something like that. Yeah, just spend the weekend away. Yeah, true, true. But yeah, no, just being, you know, catered to.
00:05:30
Speaker
Just for you to be catered to, maybe you can have a um ah pampering day. You can do a day at sauna as you build up to the luxurious dinner.
00:05:42
Speaker
Yeah, are true, true. But yeah, I'm full of ideas. So, you know, I'm very, very dangerous in that. I see that. I like, I like. But as I said, you know, it's one of those things where I hope somebody who's part of that inner circle is definitely listening and paying attention so they can make it happen for you.
00:06:01
Speaker
so with with you turning is the anything that when you think back to growing up and, you know, let's say we imagined ourselves at this age, and I don't think I ever imagined myself at 50, right?
00:06:18
Speaker
But if you're looking back and you so we had those uncles, those aunts, our parents, when they were this age, do you see yourself the same? i don't.
00:06:31
Speaker
I really don't. and But like you're saying, we never imagined being 50. Right. And I don't know if at any point I knew anyone who was turning 50 when I was young. I don't know you know, i I would know I've got the older uncles and aunts, Right.
00:06:54
Speaker
But they now I don't remember any of them ever celebrating these milestone birthdays like we do these days. Mm-hmm. you So you would just know there's an older uncle, an older aunt, but you would actually never know their age. It was never defined.
00:07:14
Speaker
It was never defined how old they were. it was never defined. So I can't even compare, like, who do I compare who I knew back then? Like, well I remember when aunt so-and-so turned 50. I don't know.
00:07:30
Speaker
There's no one that comes to mind right now. That I can actually remember and say, oh, yes, I remember. And what did I think? I don't know. Because they were not celebrating like we do.
00:07:42
Speaker
It was never defined. You're so right. Well, it's kind of like we were talking about earlier where we talked about how i think back then, right, they were living to survive. Yeah. But I think one thing that for us now, we are living.
00:07:57
Speaker
We we we get yes all right we get to a certain age and we're now doing things to live. like I think that mindset has shifted. and It definitely has. Like i did mention earlier, um like we are living, we think about healthy stuff. i need to go to the gym. i need to walk. i need to exercise.
00:08:18
Speaker
Whereas as back in the day, I'm assuming that some of these aunties that we thought were really old were probably maybe even 40. But yes, they were just surviving. Yeah.
00:08:28
Speaker
but so they were yes they were they were just surviving They were surviving. They were not living. So I just feel we can't even compare ourselves with them.
Family Joys: Becoming a Grandmother
00:08:42
Speaker
Well, and you have a huge milestone because you have two grandbabies, don't you? Yes. So for me, 50 is a real my milestone. island I'll be honest. i I just ah can't even imagine or I can't even say that I ever...
00:09:03
Speaker
thought about at what age I'll be a granny, to be honest. you know It's something I never even thought about because I'm assuming, I thought, you know, always grannies are what, usually in their 60s, 70s, you know.
00:09:18
Speaker
But here I am, made a grandmother five years ago at 45. Wow. And so my first grandson, he turns five this year, a month before my birthday, as before my 50th.
00:09:38
Speaker
Milestone birthdays, both of you. Yeah. So I've been joking about it with my daughters. Like maybe me and him should have, we have 0-5 and a 5-0. You
00:09:51
Speaker
and you can hold on to his balloon. And then a 5-0. Yeah.
00:09:58
Speaker
Flip the cake. you just buy one cake. why then Yeah. and then we just but yeah If you look at it upside down, it's 50. If you look at that, the weight's 0.5 or something. That's funny. Yeah. But yeah. So yeah, no, for me, but still, can I say I feel 50? No.
00:10:18
Speaker
No. What does 50 feel like? This is it. I think that's the biggest question. What is what does 50 feel like? Is it supposed to feel a particular way?
00:10:30
Speaker
Because I really, honestly, I cannot sit here and say I feel 50. Because I think why I say that is because ah we've always thought 50 to be old.
00:10:43
Speaker
And I don't feel old So I think maybe that's just why we don't feel 50. fifty Yeah, it it doesn't. it it i'm As excited as I've been to turn 50, there's certain things that don't check the box.
00:11:05
Speaker
for 50 as the 50 that we've historically known. yeah yeah So, you know, like you said, the fact that we still are very active, we go to the gym.
00:11:16
Speaker
but ah I say we, like I've been to the gym in a while. um But yeah, we'll just say we go to the gym.
00:11:24
Speaker
I'll just say we go to the gym. We, like we, yeah, our people. um Like this year, I am planning on jumping out of a plane. at some point in this year of 2025.
00:11:36
Speaker
You know, those are activities that I think our parents never got the opportunity to Because, again, I think it was that survival mode. We just need to get these kids through to the next step and figure out about the next thing.
00:11:51
Speaker
But about you being a grandma at 45, how did you feel about that? Because, okay so honestly, it's been one of my biggest fears, if I can put it that Just honestly, it has been a fear with these children.
00:12:08
Speaker
ah Yeah, yeah. you know um You're right. it it it It was a fear before I actually became one. um And having daughters as well, even worse for me. i've got two daughters.
00:12:23
Speaker
So it was always a fear. And then when it actually did happen find out that my eldest daughter, at the time she was 24, was pregnant, it came as a great shock.
00:12:41
Speaker
It was a lot of disappointment um because she wasn't married to this guy, you know. And because i had raised both of them as a single mom,
00:12:56
Speaker
Right. i I never wanted either one of them to ever take that route as well. You know? So I think for me, that's where the disappointment came in. Like, he watched be you watched me being a single mom. You watched how tough that was.
00:13:16
Speaker
And I'm feeling you are choosing to go down that route as well. Making it seem like a choice. Yes. And um so that, yeah, I struggled with that.
00:13:28
Speaker
I really, really struggled with it. And the thing is, as much as, where and when I look back as well, she was 24, like I said. And when I look back, I was even worse.
00:13:41
Speaker
That's what I was about to ask you that. How old were you when you had her? Yeah. i myself fell pregnant at 19. Yeah. Gave birth at 20. Right.
00:13:52
Speaker
So all that now, you know, it just messes you up. Like, is this a curse? What is this? Yeah. Well, how have you reconciled that?
00:14:04
Speaker
So you um fortunately then when it happened, my mom was still alive. um I think she helped me a lot to accept it. Let me put it that way, to accept it, because i was failing to accept it.
00:14:22
Speaker
And I think my mom helped me. She sat me down and says, no, this is what has happened. This is what's there. um She's 24. You've raised her well.
00:14:37
Speaker
She's gone through school. She's done what she needs to do. and Let's just take this as a blessing. So, yeah, you just accept it. she One thing I loved about her, she never threw it in my face that, how about you?
00:14:55
Speaker
Right. She never did that. Never. To say, but but remember what you did. What you did, exactly. Yeah, no, she never. She actually just made me see what a blessing it had been, how I'd done the best that I could.
00:15:11
Speaker
And let's just look at this as a blessing. Well, and you know what? If nobody else has told you this, you also got her past the the age, right? So it wasn't anything that was being recycled.
00:15:24
Speaker
Yes, yeah. You got pregnant at 19. You're very right, yeah. He made it further than that. So we were not recycling the same experience. ah She created her own experience, which really is a reflection on your on you giving her a good solid foundation, right? True, true. In order for her to make sure that she has a good foundation. So my mom kind of reminded me of that.
00:15:50
Speaker
Yes. You've done the best you've get you you can. She's 24 now. And then just to prove it even more, just to show that it was not a cycle, she stayed with this guy. Right.
00:16:03
Speaker
And the second child is actually with the same guy. So I guess she did break what I thought at that point was a cycle of being a single mom. Yeah.
00:16:15
Speaker
Because she's still together with them with a person. They live together now with their two kids. And they're raising their babies. day So yeah. yeah funny All that made it better. Let me put it that way.
00:16:28
Speaker
All that did make it better. Yes. But yeah, that was quite a transformation for me. I never, i just never even imagined being a grand mother. I feel like in my 40s. I'm still feeling it.
00:16:42
Speaker
I had not even imagined it. But when it happened, oh my God, I love that little boy. That is, everyone knows that that's my heart, that's my life. Funny enough, when it actually happens, you know, there's just a switch in you where it's amazing. It really is amazing.
00:17:02
Speaker
And my mom always used to tell me like, do you know, there's something about grandkids. You love them more than your kids. And I used to think my mom is crazy. She talks too much. And when it happened to me, that's exactly how it is.
00:17:15
Speaker
Even my daughter right now, she's always like, mom, I know you don't care about me anymore as long as these two are fine. I'm like, exactly.
00:17:22
Speaker
goodness. Well, i mean, it's, it is, I'm glad you had that reconciliation and before you see the physical product, baby, right?
00:17:34
Speaker
It's all, you're just playing with the mind part of things. Yes. You know, the baby's coming, but you just, I think the physical product does do something.
00:17:44
Speaker
It really does. It just brings so much joy. And it melts away. Yes, yes. And it also just, that's when you actually start seeing that blessing that my mom spoke about, that it's a blessing.
00:17:59
Speaker
And that's when you start realizing that, you know what, not everybody gets to see their grandkids. So you start, yeah, once they are there, your whole mindset changes and you actually realize how blessed you are.
00:18:13
Speaker
Yes, yes. and Mindset is the biggest thing. Yeah, it's the mindset. You're so right. It's mindset. i am straddling between... I don't think I want to be a grandparent yet.
00:18:26
Speaker
But then at the same time, I'm jealous about people like you. Yes. I don't think it's something you ever, you ever actually ready for. I don't think it's something you actually sit and say, yeah, now, okay, I'm ready. I don't think so, to be honest.
00:18:39
Speaker
I don't think i am. I'm like, I'm too young to be a grandparent. Exactly. Exactly. So, but once it happens, you realize that the mind just switches. Oh, that is beautiful. but yeah So i'm Sydney, if you're listening, yeah, um I'm okay for now.
00:19:01
Speaker
So you brought up your mom. I know we talked about your mom when we met. is And you know I know she's passed in the tragic circumstances surrounding that. um What do you want to share about that relationship and really the way I think it for forces all of us to kind of grow up very quickly, much quicker in some ways, because when mom is there, we can always lean back and you know we don't fully have to grow up.
00:19:29
Speaker
but That's true. But it's happened. You had to put on your big girl shoes. Yeah. So just share a little bit about mom and, and, you know.
00:19:42
Speaker
Yeah, look, um, where do I start? One thing about my mom. She definitely showed unconditional love, especially towards me or to her children.
00:19:58
Speaker
Generally, my mom was just a very loving person. she Her nickname was even in Dr. Love. She really, my mom loved like that. Yeah,
00:20:09
Speaker
I actually think she had a calling to just love people. So, but she really, really showed me unconditional love. What is unconditional love?
A Mother's Love: Lasting Impact
00:20:20
Speaker
No matter what I did, that woman just, you know, she just loved me, you know? And it took me a very long time to realize it. Of course, in my teenage years, i thought, hmm, this one.
00:20:34
Speaker
She doesn't want to see me flourish. the eggs Exactly, exactly. doesn't want to see me flourish. Yeah. But as I got older, And I had my own child now, my own daughter now.
00:20:47
Speaker
That's when I started um actually appreciating her and seeing that, no, man, this is ah this is a true definition of unconditional love.
00:20:59
Speaker
And, um yeah, like you are saying, ah you're not fully grown as long as your mom is there because ah could just fall back.
00:21:11
Speaker
on her for anything and everything, you know. Things go tough, you just go back to mom's house. You know, she was just always there for me, no matter what.
00:21:24
Speaker
So um it's it's a gap that I feel and I know I'll always feel that mom is no longer there. Because, yeah, mothers really make that difference. i They really do.
00:21:40
Speaker
And I think sometimes I feel like, am I being the same kind of mom my mom was to me, to my own daughters?
00:21:51
Speaker
She set a standard for you. Yeah, but sometimes I feel I'm failing it. I feel i'm not I'm not meeting that standard. but And then on the other hand, you also realize, look, you're also just doing the best you can.
00:22:07
Speaker
You can only be the best you can. You can only be the best you can. And one thing my mom also taught me was um you don't... um She said it in Shona.
00:22:20
Speaker
Meaning they're not pottery that you you design and I want it this way, I want it that way. You know what i'm saying? The features that very you Yeah, they also grow up to have their own characters, their own personalities.
00:22:36
Speaker
So... But um all in all, she taught me a lot. And she like I said, for me, the biggest thing was the unconditional love. And yeah.
00:22:48
Speaker
yeah And you mentioned how our parents were also trying to navigate new and your world cultures. Yeah. So I'd never even thought of it that way, you know, because I remember when I was in junior school, when we started living in Eastleigh, all our neighbors were white.
00:23:10
Speaker
Yeah. And they had kids as well, you know. And I remember these, we used to play with these kids. So my parents always had to make sure we were like the white kids. When the white kids had bicycles, we also had to have bicycles. also had bicycles.
00:23:25
Speaker
Keeping up with the jokes, it's hollow now. So would would play with these kids, we would ride out on the street and stuff like that, you know. And...
00:23:36
Speaker
The one thing that i I remember, which I now see as I've gotten older, that what I thought was the norm, was these white kids would write letters to Father Christmas every Christmas time.
00:23:50
Speaker
You know? And ah we would do it as well. would also write letters to Father Christmas and put my list of what I want for Christmas. Yes. And, of course, I'd give it to my mom and all because...
00:24:05
Speaker
Remember, like they were now also trying to to fit in. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. My mom would say to me, oh, let me see your letter. Let me see if Father Christmas can read what you wrote. What you wrote. Uh-huh. Yes.
00:24:18
Speaker
Meanwhile, she wanted to see what I had on the list. Would you ask? She would get it for me for Christmas.
00:24:27
Speaker
So, yeah. You know, and like I say, at that point, to me, that was very normal. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas when I look back now, even with some of my agements, like really true, like seriously, guys, hope I went through that.
00:24:43
Speaker
So, yeah, it's. Growing up too, and now as adults, as you said, being in the same spaces, right, with these different backgrounds. With different backgrounds, that's when you really see how different your background really is.
00:24:55
Speaker
Right. Right. And and i I've come to those, like like some of those conversations as well, where you're like, wait, so this wasn't normal for you?
Cultural Influences: Shaping Experiences
00:25:03
Speaker
yeah Exactly. Exactly. like what do you Or they say, oh, remember when we had to go to school like this?
00:25:09
Speaker
And I'm like, no, I have never experienced that.
00:25:14
Speaker
Which I think is why as Zimbabweans, we always, you know how when you meet new people, the first question is usually, where did you go to school? And think that normally sets a tone. It does. It really does.
00:25:27
Speaker
Have that conversation, like how that conversation is going to go from there or how your relationship might, which is kind of sad in a way. No, it's true. it's it's It's actually a very true reality.
00:25:40
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. And that's just all right. That's always the first thing. What school did you go to? Uh-huh. maybe Because I want to we're going to relate at this point. are we Yeah, and then things kind of like change, shift. They take a shift from at that point.
00:25:57
Speaker
Which is really kind of sad. edit yeah going to sound bad coming from us, right? Because of our background and the fact that we relate. i I would love to have somebody on who didn't have the same background.
00:26:11
Speaker
um And to see, where do we come together on that? Because we shouldn't be separated by something that somebody else brought in and made it seem like it's the norm.
00:26:25
Speaker
because we have so much more in common than those things separate that are said to separate us. Yes. but yeah. All right. That is so true, actually. That is so true.
00:26:38
Speaker
So what are you looking forward to, 50 What is their 50 and beyond for Trish?
Future Hopes: Life at 50
00:26:46
Speaker
When we talk again in 10 years. Oh, girl, i am looking to be able to retire.
00:26:55
Speaker
At an age where I still feel good, still have energy and just to still be able to travel, you know, and just, I just really hope and pray that I will have that um opportunity to just enjoy life without the pressures of work.
00:27:15
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. I think that that's my biggest thing now. And the stress of day-to-day living. Like you just want to live without of the stresses. Yes. that's That's what I'm really looking forward to.
00:27:30
Speaker
So this is the one thing that I ask all my guests. um What would you tell today as you're looking forward to this big milestone? What would you tell your 21-year-old self?
00:27:43
Speaker
um What I would have told myself, what i yeah,
00:27:50
Speaker
What would I tell myself? You know, think before you act.
00:27:59
Speaker
um Really think about what you're about to do, the how this can actually affect you. bo um i would also tell myself to have worked harder.
00:28:16
Speaker
because i think also having that background of just having everything kind of like always made me feel life will always be easy. So it was like a false safety net.
00:28:28
Speaker
Yes. Then when reality actually here's like, ah not really. So I think I tended, and I'm talking about me personally. hey I think I tended to take things very lightly. I could have done a lot, a lot of things better or could have worked harder, could have studied harder, could have, you know, those are the things I look back now, like now could have actually done better.
00:28:53
Speaker
Yeah. So yeah, that's why I say i would have told my 21, my 21 year old work harder, study harder. This is the time in your life when you actually sit up your life.
00:29:08
Speaker
and Okay. Understanding what age means. oh Okay.
Reflecting on Friendship and Future Meetings
00:29:14
Speaker
Well, Trish, thank you so, so much for sharing with us. This was fun. i really did enjoy getting to know you a lot better.
00:29:23
Speaker
um as I said, you know, we did meet earlier this year in January and i hope our plans for the year pan out, right? We are supposed to meet again. um So hopefully something happens soon. I'm i'm praying for that miracle.
00:29:38
Speaker
It will happen. It will happen. really hope it does, Beth. I really do. It will happen, but I really am happy you chose today to sit down and chat with me.
00:29:51
Speaker
oh thank you too. I really appreciate And what, ah sorry, I have to ask you this. Why did you think i was not born in 1975? I thought we had this conversation when we met.
00:30:05
Speaker
it But I think I don't, I think I was thinking, i i honestly don't know why, because I think it's Kudzi. Kudzi is the one who wasn't born 1975.
00:30:15
Speaker
Yeah. What did she say? She said 76. I think so. I think she's either 76 or 77. She might two younger than that. So I think she's the one. And I don't know why i totally meddled those up. But no, no, no. You are my, you are my you could be my roommate for all we know.
00:30:36
Speaker
I don't know.
00:30:39
Speaker
Because we're almost December, right? Yes, no, yes, I'm in December, yeah, early December. Yep. Early December. And since January, starting with Beryl herself, we've watched I've watched people turn 50. That's been incredible. Like for Beryl, turned 50, got married, you know, just just... Yeah, I thought that was one of the best... no Yeah, the best way to celebrate her 50th, eh?
00:31:08
Speaker
That was amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. So, oh yeah. But no, thank you so much for spending your evening with me. And i can't wait for us to chat again.
00:31:19
Speaker
No, definitely. That was really fun. It also got to had me thinking and reminiscing, you know. i love it. I love it.