Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Journey from 1975 2025. Yes, this is podcast.
Speaker: yes this is a podcast about people who are turning 50 this year. They were born in 1975 and this year 2025, we are celebrating our 50th birthdays.
Speaker: We get to have conversations to find out how people, what they've experienced in the 50 years, what they're looking forward to, and most importantly, what it means to them to be turning this this big age of 50.
Speaker: So today i am so happy and delighted to be chatting with my friend Trish. Trish lives in Johannesburg, South Africa, and we have actually only met one time.
Speaker: Right, Trish? Hello, Trish. Yes, we only met once at a mutual friend's wedding. I know, and it and we clicked. And we clicked. Oh, yes, let's not forget we were roomies, Bertha.
Speaker: Yes. Listen, we went from zero to 100 with this friendship, right? Exactly, exactly. Well, thank you so much for agreeing to come here and, you know, trusting me, really. No, thanks for even suggesting to talk to me. I'm pretty excited about it.
Speaker: So you are yet, you and I in the same boat. We are yet to hit 50. True, true. So we're still on our journey to 50. How's that journey been? How's 2025 been for you, this journey towards 50, this final sprint to 50?
Speaker: That's a good question, hey? 2025, you know what? Let me honest. 2025 started on good note. It did start off on good note. And... twenty five twenty twenty five has started off on a good note it did start off in a good note and it's It's been a good year and it's been a year I've been very conscious that I am turning 50. I've had friends who've turned 50 already this year.
Speaker: So that's also, you know, just emphasized it more. That's a reminder. Just that reminder. Like, so this is it. We are really turning 50 this year.
Speaker: um But the year itself, like I said, it just started off on a good note and it's still going good. And um as I've watched other people turn 50, the more excited I've also gotten about it, like, okay, um my turn is coming. It's it's happening. it's It's actually happening.
Speaker: You know? Yeah. Oh my gosh. It has been amazing watching people celebrate their 50th. I know I've i've had, I've been in what, at least three celebrations this year for folks who've been turning 50. And it just makes me imagine how my time is going to be.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah but at least um you know what you're doing already. I do. I don't. let it for too long I've been planning for too long. That's the crazy part.
Speaker: But I don't know what I'm doing yet. What do you mean you don't know? what what what do you Okay, when you're when you when you think about the day, what's your perfect day to celebrate that milestone?
Speaker: I would love a dinner, really fancy dress-up dinner
Speaker: um with, you know, really close people. not not Nothing big, but people who've been in my life. Intimate. Meaningful. Something intimate, if I can put it that way.
Speaker: I hope one of those people is listening Right? um So they start calling people together Because you guys heard the wish So now it's just a matter of making it happen Make it happen, yeah yeah I think So yeah That's one thing I've imagined you know and so Some really fancy Really dress up dinner um And then Maybe before the dinner, I would also love to do something fun with those same people. So I think this is what I'm trying to figure out now. Like, what can we do? Maybe we can make it a weekend thing.
Speaker: You know, where the one day we find something fun to do, and then the next day we maybe then have the the dinner. that's I'm thinking along those lines.
Speaker: Well, you could do a day off because you guys are in South Africa. So and you're in December. So the weather would be nice if you do it in South Africa. Yes. hear True, true. um You could do a weekend where you do Cape Town or something. Winery and do something like that. Yeah, just spend the weekend away. Yeah, true, true. But yeah, no, just being, you know, catered to.
Speaker: Just for you to be catered to, maybe you can have a um ah pampering day. You can do a day at sauna as you build up to the luxurious dinner.
Speaker: Yeah, are true, true. But yeah, I'm full of ideas. So, you know, I'm very, very dangerous in that. I see that. I like, I like. But as I said, you know, it's one of those things where I hope somebody who's part of that inner circle is definitely listening and paying attention so they can make it happen for you.
Speaker: so with with you turning is the anything that when you think back to growing up and, you know, let's say we imagined ourselves at this age, and I don't think I ever imagined myself at 50, right?
Speaker: But if you're looking back and you so we had those uncles, those aunts, our parents, when they were this age, do you see yourself the same? i don't.
Speaker: I really don't. and But like you're saying, we never imagined being 50. Right. And I don't know if at any point I knew anyone who was turning 50 when I was young. I don't know you know, i I would know I've got the older uncles and aunts, Right.
Speaker: But they now I don't remember any of them ever celebrating these milestone birthdays like we do these days. Mm-hmm. you So you would just know there's an older uncle, an older aunt, but you would actually never know their age. It was never defined.
Speaker: It was never defined how old they were. it was never defined. So I can't even compare, like, who do I compare who I knew back then? Like, well I remember when aunt so-and-so turned 50. I don't know.
Speaker: There's no one that comes to mind right now. That I can actually remember and say, oh, yes, I remember. And what did I think? I don't know. Because they were not celebrating like we do.
Speaker: It was never defined. You're so right. Well, it's kind of like we were talking about earlier where we talked about how i think back then, right, they were living to survive. Yeah. But I think one thing that for us now, we are living.
Speaker: We we we get yes all right we get to a certain age and we're now doing things to live. like I think that mindset has shifted. and It definitely has. Like i did mention earlier, um like we are living, we think about healthy stuff. i need to go to the gym. i need to walk. i need to exercise.
Speaker: Whereas as back in the day, I'm assuming that some of these aunties that we thought were really old were probably maybe even 40. But yes, they were just surviving. Yeah.
Speaker: but so they were yes they were they were just surviving They were surviving. They were not living. So I just feel we can't even compare ourselves with them.
Speaker: Well, and you have a huge milestone because you have two grandbabies, don't you? Yes. So for me, 50 is a real my milestone. island I'll be honest. i I just ah can't even imagine or I can't even say that I ever...
Speaker: thought about at what age I'll be a granny, to be honest. you know It's something I never even thought about because I'm assuming, I thought, you know, always grannies are what, usually in their 60s, 70s, you know.
Speaker: But here I am, made a grandmother five years ago at 45. Wow. And so my first grandson, he turns five this year, a month before my birthday, as before my 50th.
Speaker: Milestone birthdays, both of you. Yeah. So I've been joking about it with my daughters. Like maybe me and him should have, we have 0-5 and a 5-0. You
Speaker: and you can hold on to his balloon. And then a 5-0. Yeah.
Speaker: Flip the cake. you just buy one cake. why then Yeah. and then we just but yeah If you look at it upside down, it's 50. If you look at that, the weight's 0.5 or something. That's funny. Yeah. But yeah. So yeah, no, for me, but still, can I say I feel 50? No.
Speaker: No. What does 50 feel like? This is it. I think that's the biggest question. What is what does 50 feel like? Is it supposed to feel a particular way?
Speaker: Because I really, honestly, I cannot sit here and say I feel 50. Because I think why I say that is because ah we've always thought 50 to be old.
Speaker: And I don't feel old So I think maybe that's just why we don't feel 50. fifty Yeah, it it doesn't. it it i'm As excited as I've been to turn 50, there's certain things that don't check the box.
Speaker: for 50 as the 50 that we've historically known. yeah yeah So, you know, like you said, the fact that we still are very active, we go to the gym.
Speaker: but ah I say we, like I've been to the gym in a while. um But yeah, we'll just say we go to the gym.
Speaker: I'll just say we go to the gym. We, like we, yeah, our people. um Like this year, I am planning on jumping out of a plane. at some point in this year of 2025.
Speaker: You know, those are activities that I think our parents never got the opportunity to Because, again, I think it was that survival mode. We just need to get these kids through to the next step and figure out about the next thing.
Speaker: But about you being a grandma at 45, how did you feel about that? Because, okay so honestly, it's been one of my biggest fears, if I can put it that Just honestly, it has been a fear with these children.
Speaker: ah Yeah, yeah. you know um You're right. it it it It was a fear before I actually became one. um And having daughters as well, even worse for me. i've got two daughters.
Speaker: So it was always a fear. And then when it actually did happen find out that my eldest daughter, at the time she was 24, was pregnant, it came as a great shock.
Speaker: It was a lot of disappointment um because she wasn't married to this guy, you know. And because i had raised both of them as a single mom,
Speaker: Right. i I never wanted either one of them to ever take that route as well. You know? So I think for me, that's where the disappointment came in. Like, he watched be you watched me being a single mom. You watched how tough that was.
Speaker: And I'm feeling you are choosing to go down that route as well. Making it seem like a choice. Yes. And um so that, yeah, I struggled with that.
Speaker: I really, really struggled with it. And the thing is, as much as, where and when I look back as well, she was 24, like I said. And when I look back, I was even worse.
Speaker: That's what I was about to ask you that. How old were you when you had her? Yeah. i myself fell pregnant at 19. Yeah. Gave birth at 20. Right.
Speaker: So all that now, you know, it just messes you up. Like, is this a curse? What is this? Yeah. Well, how have you reconciled that?
Speaker: So you um fortunately then when it happened, my mom was still alive. um I think she helped me a lot to accept it. Let me put it that way, to accept it, because i was failing to accept it.
Speaker: And I think my mom helped me. She sat me down and says, no, this is what has happened. This is what's there. um She's 24. You've raised her well.
Speaker: She's gone through school. She's done what she needs to do. and Let's just take this as a blessing. So, yeah, you just accept it. she One thing I loved about her, she never threw it in my face that, how about you?
Speaker: Right. She never did that. Never. To say, but but remember what you did. What you did, exactly. Yeah, no, she never. She actually just made me see what a blessing it had been, how I'd done the best that I could.
Speaker: And let's just look at this as a blessing. Well, and you know what? If nobody else has told you this, you also got her past the the age, right? So it wasn't anything that was being recycled.
Speaker: Yes, yeah. You got pregnant at 19. You're very right, yeah. He made it further than that. So we were not recycling the same experience. ah She created her own experience, which really is a reflection on your on you giving her a good solid foundation, right? True, true. In order for her to make sure that she has a good foundation. So my mom kind of reminded me of that.
Speaker: Yes. You've done the best you've get you you can. She's 24 now. And then just to prove it even more, just to show that it was not a cycle, she stayed with this guy. Right.
Speaker: And the second child is actually with the same guy. So I guess she did break what I thought at that point was a cycle of being a single mom. Yeah.
Speaker: Because she's still together with them with a person. They live together now with their two kids. And they're raising their babies. day So yeah. yeah funny All that made it better. Let me put it that way.
Speaker: All that did make it better. Yes. But yeah, that was quite a transformation for me. I never, i just never even imagined being a grand mother. I feel like in my 40s. I'm still feeling it.
Speaker: I had not even imagined it. But when it happened, oh my God, I love that little boy. That is, everyone knows that that's my heart, that's my life. Funny enough, when it actually happens, you know, there's just a switch in you where it's amazing. It really is amazing.
Speaker: And my mom always used to tell me like, do you know, there's something about grandkids. You love them more than your kids. And I used to think my mom is crazy. She talks too much. And when it happened to me, that's exactly how it is.
Speaker: Even my daughter right now, she's always like, mom, I know you don't care about me anymore as long as these two are fine. I'm like, exactly.
Speaker: goodness. Well, i mean, it's, it is, I'm glad you had that reconciliation and before you see the physical product, baby, right?
Speaker: It's all, you're just playing with the mind part of things. Yes. You know, the baby's coming, but you just, I think the physical product does do something.
Speaker: It really does. It just brings so much joy. And it melts away. Yes, yes. And it also just, that's when you actually start seeing that blessing that my mom spoke about, that it's a blessing.
Speaker: And that's when you start realizing that, you know what, not everybody gets to see their grandkids. So you start, yeah, once they are there, your whole mindset changes and you actually realize how blessed you are.
Speaker: Yes, yes. and Mindset is the biggest thing. Yeah, it's the mindset. You're so right. It's mindset. i am straddling between... I don't think I want to be a grandparent yet.
Speaker: But then at the same time, I'm jealous about people like you. Yes. I don't think it's something you ever, you ever actually ready for. I don't think it's something you actually sit and say, yeah, now, okay, I'm ready. I don't think so, to be honest.
Speaker: I don't think i am. I'm like, I'm too young to be a grandparent. Exactly. Exactly. So, but once it happens, you realize that the mind just switches. Oh, that is beautiful. but yeah So i'm Sydney, if you're listening, yeah, um I'm okay for now.
Speaker: So you brought up your mom. I know we talked about your mom when we met. is And you know I know she's passed in the tragic circumstances surrounding that. um What do you want to share about that relationship and really the way I think it for forces all of us to kind of grow up very quickly, much quicker in some ways, because when mom is there, we can always lean back and you know we don't fully have to grow up.
Speaker: but That's true. But it's happened. You had to put on your big girl shoes. Yeah. So just share a little bit about mom and, and, you know.
Speaker: Yeah, look, um, where do I start? One thing about my mom. She definitely showed unconditional love, especially towards me or to her children.
Speaker: Generally, my mom was just a very loving person. she Her nickname was even in Dr. Love. She really, my mom loved like that. Yeah,
Speaker: I actually think she had a calling to just love people. So, but she really, really showed me unconditional love. What is unconditional love?
Speaker: No matter what I did, that woman just, you know, she just loved me, you know? And it took me a very long time to realize it. Of course, in my teenage years, i thought, hmm, this one.
Speaker: She doesn't want to see me flourish. the eggs Exactly, exactly. doesn't want to see me flourish. Yeah. But as I got older, And I had my own child now, my own daughter now.
Speaker: That's when I started um actually appreciating her and seeing that, no, man, this is ah this is a true definition of unconditional love.
Speaker: And, um yeah, like you are saying, ah you're not fully grown as long as your mom is there because ah could just fall back.
Speaker: on her for anything and everything, you know. Things go tough, you just go back to mom's house. You know, she was just always there for me, no matter what.
Speaker: So um it's it's a gap that I feel and I know I'll always feel that mom is no longer there. Because, yeah, mothers really make that difference. i They really do.
Speaker: And I think sometimes I feel like, am I being the same kind of mom my mom was to me, to my own daughters?
Speaker: She set a standard for you. Yeah, but sometimes I feel I'm failing it. I feel i'm not I'm not meeting that standard. but And then on the other hand, you also realize, look, you're also just doing the best you can.
Speaker: You can only be the best you can. You can only be the best you can. And one thing my mom also taught me was um you don't... um She said it in Shona.
Speaker: Meaning they're not pottery that you you design and I want it this way, I want it that way. You know what i'm saying? The features that very you Yeah, they also grow up to have their own characters, their own personalities.
Speaker: So... But um all in all, she taught me a lot. And she like I said, for me, the biggest thing was the unconditional love. And yeah.
Speaker: yeah And you mentioned how our parents were also trying to navigate new and your world cultures. Yeah. So I'd never even thought of it that way, you know, because I remember when I was in junior school, when we started living in Eastleigh, all our neighbors were white.
Speaker: Yeah. And they had kids as well, you know. And I remember these, we used to play with these kids. So my parents always had to make sure we were like the white kids. When the white kids had bicycles, we also had to have bicycles. also had bicycles.
Speaker: Keeping up with the jokes, it's hollow now. So would would play with these kids, we would ride out on the street and stuff like that, you know. And...
Speaker: The one thing that i I remember, which I now see as I've gotten older, that what I thought was the norm, was these white kids would write letters to Father Christmas every Christmas time.
Speaker: You know? And ah we would do it as well. would also write letters to Father Christmas and put my list of what I want for Christmas. Yes. And, of course, I'd give it to my mom and all because...
Speaker: Remember, like they were now also trying to to fit in. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. My mom would say to me, oh, let me see your letter. Let me see if Father Christmas can read what you wrote. What you wrote. Uh-huh. Yes.
Speaker: Meanwhile, she wanted to see what I had on the list. Would you ask? She would get it for me for Christmas.
Speaker: So, yeah. You know, and like I say, at that point, to me, that was very normal. Yeah. Yeah. Whereas when I look back now, even with some of my agements, like really true, like seriously, guys, hope I went through that.
Speaker: So, yeah, it's. Growing up too, and now as adults, as you said, being in the same spaces, right, with these different backgrounds. With different backgrounds, that's when you really see how different your background really is.
Speaker: Right. Right. And and i I've come to those, like like some of those conversations as well, where you're like, wait, so this wasn't normal for you? yeah Exactly. Exactly. like what do you Or they say, oh, remember when we had to go to school like this?
Speaker: And I'm like, no, I have never experienced that.
Speaker: Which I think is why as Zimbabweans, we always, you know how when you meet new people, the first question is usually, where did you go to school? And think that normally sets a tone. It does. It really does.
Speaker: Have that conversation, like how that conversation is going to go from there or how your relationship might, which is kind of sad in a way. No, it's true. it's it's It's actually a very true reality.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. yeah Yeah. And that's just all right. That's always the first thing. What school did you go to? Uh-huh. maybe Because I want to we're going to relate at this point. are we Yeah, and then things kind of like change, shift. They take a shift from at that point.
Speaker: Which is really kind of sad. edit yeah going to sound bad coming from us, right? Because of our background and the fact that we relate. i I would love to have somebody on who didn't have the same background.
Speaker: um And to see, where do we come together on that? Because we shouldn't be separated by something that somebody else brought in and made it seem like it's the norm.
Speaker: because we have so much more in common than those things separate that are said to separate us. Yes. but yeah. All right. That is so true, actually. That is so true.
Speaker: So what are you looking forward to, 50 What is their 50 and beyond for Trish? When we talk again in 10 years. Oh, girl, i am looking to be able to retire.
Speaker: At an age where I still feel good, still have energy and just to still be able to travel, you know, and just, I just really hope and pray that I will have that um opportunity to just enjoy life without the pressures of work.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. I think that that's my biggest thing now. And the stress of day-to-day living. Like you just want to live without of the stresses. Yes. that's That's what I'm really looking forward to.
Speaker: So this is the one thing that I ask all my guests. um What would you tell today as you're looking forward to this big milestone? What would you tell your 21-year-old self?
Speaker: um What I would have told myself, what i yeah,
Speaker: What would I tell myself? You know, think before you act.
Speaker: um Really think about what you're about to do, the how this can actually affect you. bo um i would also tell myself to have worked harder.
Speaker: because i think also having that background of just having everything kind of like always made me feel life will always be easy. So it was like a false safety net.
Speaker: Yes. Then when reality actually here's like, ah not really. So I think I tended, and I'm talking about me personally. hey I think I tended to take things very lightly. I could have done a lot, a lot of things better or could have worked harder, could have studied harder, could have, you know, those are the things I look back now, like now could have actually done better.
Speaker: Yeah. So yeah, that's why I say i would have told my 21, my 21 year old work harder, study harder. This is the time in your life when you actually sit up your life.
Speaker: and Okay. Understanding what age means. oh Okay. Well, Trish, thank you so, so much for sharing with us. This was fun. i really did enjoy getting to know you a lot better.
Speaker: um as I said, you know, we did meet earlier this year in January and i hope our plans for the year pan out, right? We are supposed to meet again. um So hopefully something happens soon. I'm i'm praying for that miracle.
Speaker: It will happen. It will happen. really hope it does, Beth. I really do. It will happen, but I really am happy you chose today to sit down and chat with me.
Speaker: oh thank you too. I really appreciate And what, ah sorry, I have to ask you this. Why did you think i was not born in 1975? I thought we had this conversation when we met.
Speaker: it But I think I don't, I think I was thinking, i i honestly don't know why, because I think it's Kudzi. Kudzi is the one who wasn't born 1975.
Speaker: Yeah. What did she say? She said 76. I think so. I think she's either 76 or 77. She might two younger than that. So I think she's the one. And I don't know why i totally meddled those up. But no, no, no. You are my, you are my you could be my roommate for all we know.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Because we're almost December, right? Yes, no, yes, I'm in December, yeah, early December. Yep. Early December. And since January, starting with Beryl herself, we've watched I've watched people turn 50. That's been incredible. Like for Beryl, turned 50, got married, you know, just just... Yeah, I thought that was one of the best... no Yeah, the best way to celebrate her 50th, eh?
Speaker: That was amazing. Yeah, that was amazing. So, oh yeah. But no, thank you so much for spending your evening with me. And i can't wait for us to chat again.
Speaker: No, definitely. That was really fun. It also got to had me thinking and reminiscing, you know. i love it. I love it.
