Transcript
Speaker: Hello everyone and welcome to another session of Journey from 1975 to 2025. On this journey we talk to people who are turning 50 this year.
Speaker: We basically want to hear about what they have experienced, have them share some of the wisdom that they have learned along the way, maybe some words of caution. But certainly, mostly we want to hear about the future.
Speaker: What do they feel? how do they feel they are moving towards retirement? Is that something that's in the in the books for them? Or is life just beginning at 50?
Speaker: So, you know, welcome to this ride. Welcome to us talking to different people from different backgrounds. And today I have the pleasure of speaking to Kuziwa Hatendi, who actually lives in South Africa.
Speaker: Kuziwa, how are you doing today? hey I'm good. A warm greeting to you. Thank you for the invitation. yeah Thank you for agreeing to come on So I am going to ask you to just introduce yourself. Tell us about you.
Speaker: Yeah, um I am Kuziwa Hatendi, born and bred in Harare, Zimbabwe, Kambuzuma. I grew up in Bardell Greystone Park.
Speaker: and So, yeah, don't hold me to it. i um Yeah, so i so I still have my ghetto roots, as they say, you know.
Speaker: and Yes, so I was... So I was born smack bang in the middle of the year, 25 June 1975. um As you know, that's God's favorite year.
Speaker: it is. like that. And God's favorite month is June. You know what? We'll leave that part for debate. God's favorite year, i fully agree. Favorite month?
Speaker: I don't know about that. We'll leave we'll leave that one for debate. Because now you're going to get carried away and say God's favorite day is the 25th June. I see. it I'm telling you.
Speaker: no No, no, You know what they say. A day in God's eyes is a thousand years, but the 25th June remains the same. and Okay. Okay. You know what? We'll agree to disagree. How about that?
Speaker: Yeah. know That one I say, you know, as you handle it, when it's your day, it's special, you know, so let me not take that away. I'm just celebrating my day. and Happy belated birthday to you.
Speaker: ah Thank you so much. And I shout out to my twins who exist and they're also my 50-year-olds out there. And yeah, you're ill you'll come across them. um Yeah, I went to school, um St. John's prep school all the way to St. John's College.
Speaker: Shout out to my Rams people. Keep it green, you know. And yes, the best large school in the world. Second to none, as they say, you know, it's it's known like that.
Speaker: is no I can't disagree with that one. My brother's a product of St. John's of Rams, so I can't disagree. Ah, you know, the man is anointed. The man is anointed. yeah
Speaker: yeah You know what, you're about to come on here and start some school rivals some high school rivalry, 30 years No, no, no. There's no rivalry, nothing. No, no, no.
Speaker: You can't rival. It's not like I didn't pay my own school fees not and they didn't pay their own school fees. So you can't rival, nothing. You know, when you wore that blazer, the pride that comes with it, it's as if you're carrying the weight of that blazer. got it.
Speaker: That was not David Whitehead fabric. Right? like Yeah. Add on the colors. You understand? That fabric came from, as you say, you know, and from the kingdom.
Speaker: The United Kingdom. So it was royal. It wasn't just any ordinary, you know, fabric. No, no, Even today. Even today. It's not today. It's a matemu temu that people see here.
Speaker: in I can already tell this is going to be an interview of pure laughter the whole time. my goodness. you live in South Africa now, right? That's where you are. i live in South Africa. um i yeah you know it it's I lived in the UK for a bit. you know i was one of those that went to look for fortune, favor, adventure.
Speaker: ah went to the UK. um in the late 90s, shortly after met my current wife and boyfriend, girlfriend, then in the 94, 95, and then went to the UK, did my stint there and came back.
Speaker: And with with the dream, I'll tell you what really drove me home was the fact that I wanted to start a family. And we wanted to start a family, but I never wanted to my kids to look at my parents on a photograph, you know.
Speaker: So we moved back, got married in 2004, and then 2005 went back to Zimbabwe. But, you know, Zimbabwe came with its challenges. Right.
Speaker: So, you know, at some point, you know I looked at my family, looked at my son. ah Then he was like seven, my first born, and you know we had a second one. he were there Because my boys are three years apart. okay And yeah, you know made to the the choice where you swallow, as they say, well, made zadachka. And it was really horrible to actually leave.
Speaker: But I had to you know do that because I just didn't have the skills. Right. and the streetwise of maintaining life in Zimbabwe at that time. So yeah, we moved here 2013.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel like Zimbabwe, you had to you had to be there when when the decline started for you to actually attain the skills. Coming in later, I think, as you so as you just stated there, it would be very difficult.
Speaker: like Yeah. Yeah. No, but it's it is, you know, I mean, look, it it follows many economic, socioeconomic debates, etc. I do not gun anybody ah for leaving Zimbabwe.
Speaker: I salute the people that actually remained and stuck it through, you know. It's ah really, it's beyond a ah schooling of hard knocks, you know.
Speaker: um It's another level, really and truly it is another level of social skills, adaptation, the speed and the agility that you need to adapt to survive.
Speaker: um And I mean, being in South Africa, we're still close to home, you know, and really and truly it's you go and see Zimbabwe because of the nostalgia.
Speaker: But um as you also begin to realize that I may not necessarily have the skill set to remain here that long. So thank God my parents are alive. You know, you get to see and... But, to you know, I truly, every time I go back to Zimbabwe, I salute the people that have stayed and seen it through. You know, the progress they've made.
Speaker: Same. You know, and... what they have done. And you know, when you compare South Africa and Zimbabwe, I mean, not necessarily one for one, but you can see that Zimbabwe is far ahead in terms of, yeah, reading a situation. You know, you you can sniff progress real quick, right or you can smith the sniff out the BS real quickly. I mean, yeah, it's a skill that Zimbabweans only understand.
Speaker: And. No, I definitely agree with you. Being able to, um I am in awe every time I go to Zimbabwe. And I only go for very short yeah stints.
Speaker: And in that short time, i I come to that realization that you just stated it's just like, I don't know how I would even keep up. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: I don't even know if I can because, and I, and I live in a place, I'm settled in the U S I live in a place where I always say, if I were to lose my job today, i can literally walk into a McDonald's and be able to get a low paying, you know, much lower paying job, but at least I have that option.
Speaker: Whereas in them is that parallel economy that you have to one, even know where it exists. Yeah. in order for you to even to able to then find a way to get into it and make any kind of relevance. You know, it's ah I often challenge people who got these and MBAs and I say, you know, the thing is your MBA is functional in a functional economy.
Speaker: You know, ah try it, try out your MBA living in Zimbabwe one month. Take it from scratch where people have built lives from scratch.
Speaker: You know, um as they say, you know, oh i always laugh at myself and friends and say, you know, you shine.
Speaker: you sha You shine, but your measure is these people you didn't want to see coming from Fio, coming from Kambuzuma. Yet, that's where we were born.
Speaker: you know i was I was born in Kambuzuma, so I have no qualms. I mean, even here in South Africa, I do relate to ah people of the Sowetos, as they say. you know I mean, you know in South Africa, there's Soweto and there's Soweto.
Speaker: yeah No, no, no, no. Really? I did not know that. this Yeah. So there so this who went i a winner as really the the travelers like to put it, as the foreign visitors and say, I went to Soweto. Is it when they go and see Nelson Mandela's house? and Because that's tourism.
Speaker: Then it's the real Soweto, the way things happen, you know. And you go to see society. I'm one of those that have blessed to actually know people from walks of life, you know,
Speaker: I am a firm believer of humility. So, you know, no man is greater than the other. It's your handshake that just gives you integrity. So, you know, even a man who is sweeping the streets is a father somewhere and a breadwinner for some.
Speaker: And you've got to give that to him, you know. And you shake that. And he probably has a few nuggets of wisdom to share with you. So I get to see that, you know, where you get to interact. ah People talk about the famous Alexandra commora It's dangerous. And that is very true.
Speaker: But, you know, if you look for trouble, it comes to you. But if you're just the person and you just want to see, they accept that. You know, so... Right.
Speaker: Always. And how you carry yourself, really. Like if people show up, showing up with your nose up in the air, people already then have what what exactly it is that you wanted them to think of you.
Speaker: So humility is a huge thing. I always, my biggest thing, kind of like what you said about about integrity, my thing is always about anybody I meet is on a pedestal. Because I don't know anything to put you any lower.
Speaker: So you're on a pedestal. And then how far and how fast you fall from that pedestal is going to be based on how we then get to know each other and interact. Because before that, you're totally a blank canvas. I know nothing about you.
Speaker: i know nothing about you So the having that type of not having that expectation or any any forethought things or feelings about a place or a person is one of the best things I think I have learned in my 50 years.
Speaker: Yes. No, ah you know, my greatest hero is my dad. And I am so grateful that he's alive. ah to see me where I am today. You know, I did give the man nonsense and drama, but he understood every stage.
Speaker: You know, he stuck by you. you know You know, he stuck by me. And he understood. One thing my dad always said to me is that, Sonny, it doesn't matter who you fight in this world, but know that you have a name and that name was not created by you. So don't soil it for those that are coming after you.
Speaker: um So protect that. Yeah, whatever nonsense you do in your life, just be a man of integrity. Even if you're a thief, be a good thief where people respect Be a good thief with integrity, right? Yeah, be a good thief where people respect you that you're a thief.
Speaker: know and And even with that that integrity also comes in because there's also honor among thieves, right? you know So even if that's what it is, integrity is going to come in somewhere. That's what he's always told me. He says, if there's anything that you're going to protect, you protect your name.
Speaker: And no one, no one must whisper rubbish about you, even if they hate you, but they talk about you, you know, with fondness and say, yeah, you know, there is wit in that.
Speaker: So i've ah I've lived by that. And I mean, that's that's my dad. You know, he's he's always been a straight shooter and he says it directly. You know, he never misses his words. So, you know, I've been fortunate now know now that I'm a father as well.
Speaker: um Yeah, you know, there's just lots to peel and it becomes exciting that, you know, and I asked him, I said, how do you feel that you've got a 50-year-old son? He said, I'd never imagined it.
Speaker: but You know, I'd never imagined it, you know. well but it's But it's almost like with you, how old are your sons? Right, so I have two boys.
Speaker: um My first time is 19 and my second boy 16. So... um sixteen so Now, doesn't it feel like just yesterday when they were both babies? You know, when my mother used to tell me that I miss the days when used to hold you, I miss the days when used to hold them because now it's these darn things, man. What do you call them? Airpods.
Speaker: Man, if I could crush those things. Whoever invented them, she doesn't have a place in heaven. you You know, your dad said something about you at that age when there was something you were doing that he also probably used very similar words.
Speaker: No, man. He had very similar feelings. you You see, for for us to communicate, it's i i fuck could if I could steal those things and just crush them, you know, I've tried hiding them and they have a location on them, you know.
Speaker: You can locate them, find my efforts. Yeah, you know. then But having said that, you know, I never thought I'd see the day my boys, my first son has just finished high school.
Speaker: And truly I am, you know, holding back the tears that he wants to go and see the world now. You know, I wonder if he's going to come back. um and So why wouldn't he? You you came back.
Speaker: You know, the thing is, I now know what my my parents felt. I, you know, despite being in love and all that, you know, um I had a real thirst to go and be overseas. It was beyond my wildest imagination, but I needed to go. And I think as part of that generation, a whole lot of us,
Speaker: that got to leave because we felt that, you know, I know i blame it. Actually, no. To be very honest, I blame it on the culture, on the sub-youth culture that we had, the music, You know, then we were crazy about Bobby Brown and the BBDs and wanted to dress like them in America. I just went to see him. I, yeah you know, when when I get there.
Speaker: But I don't think we're told of the reality of being away from home. No, no, no. There's never. And and you know what? And so i've had I've had this conversation in certain different ways, right? Yeah.
Speaker: Our parents, what we went through when we went overseas is similar to what our parents went through with them integrating us into an integrated Zimbabwe. Very true. So that excitement, right, I think those two things run very close. So that's why they were also very willing to let us go and be able to see the world because they wanted us to experience what they experienced, that integration of Zimbabwe, that period of them now getting through to those things that they were not allowed to
Speaker: That seemed so out of reach. And it's the same it was the same experience for us. you know it's So I almost think like it's ingrained. Yeah, no, it was cool. You know, I mean, when I when i look at ah my kids now as teenagers and the availability of international information, you know, and seeing the other world, it's etc it's at their fingertips.
Speaker: You know, we used to look at magazines, we used to wait for these magazines. Whoever traveled overseas come back with a vibe magazine, you know, and you flip the pages and you look and say, wow, you know, that's how you knew rappers. And we had friends whose parents worked in embassy, so they would get these MTV videos. And, you know, we got And then build our own life about with our imagination. Yeah, you had this imagination. When I get it's going to be like that. And it wasn't.
Speaker: But um when I went overseas and I look back, when I look back now, I think my pride kept me there, despite my um unhappiness, you know, and my culture shock, I should say. Not unhappiness, but culture shock.
Speaker: And, you know, instead of saying, hey, guys, okay, I've seen it, I need to come home. It's like, hey, I'm going to make the best of it. And you realize that, yeah, to make the best of it, take time.
Speaker: And before you know it, you know, five years have gone by, you know. Time. Time is so weird. Time is a weird concept. it Very weird. goes so quickly.
Speaker: You know, and one of the frightening things I had was when I used to see, you know, friends who didn't have papers per se being overseas. And then you heard that mom has passed away, dad has passed away. And you could and they couldn't go home to bury them.
Speaker: That was one of my biggest, biggest fears. um And, you know, when ah we decided to get married, we said we're going home because when we started a family, I remember then my wife now then fiance.
Speaker: a And one day her and the girls wanted to go out, you know, and three of her girls were now mothers. And I said, it's okay. I'll sit i'll i'll babysit the kids.
Speaker: You know, and we did I did that, you know, until a.m. when all these kids started howling and I didn't know what to do. you know So I called a friend of mine. It was okay while they were quiet and sleepy. Yeah, you know, fed, but you know, and it's, I want my mom.
Speaker: And we started phoning them and, you know, then it was, what club are you going to? And actually put these kids in the car, you know, and I went with one of my brother's good friends. And I went to the club.
Speaker: And you followed the methods of the club with the kids. I went to the club. We parked outside. They said, yo, yo, yo, girls, your babies are crying now. You know, quarter to three in the morning. They like, ah, uncle, ah. No, no, no. I don't know that part.
Speaker: But I realized something, though, is that you're away from family support. So that's one of the biggest reasons that took us home. um And we went back to Zimbabwe, started a family, and took on, you know, i mean,
Speaker: The initial years of starting a family was so exciting until the reality starts creeping. You know that when they say school fee starts in grade one, it's true. And you were giving the best.
Speaker: So you could not, like that bar was already set for you. Yeah, and you know the worst thing, I tell you, you know one of the biggest challenges, okay, Zimbabwe always remains a special case, but because I went to St. John's Prep, I had to do it as second generation, you know. Right.
Speaker: And, man, that was not easy. You know, that's when you you start respecting your parents and saying, yeah, you know. And, you know, the journey to Mwanara Sabu. Y'all did that thing.
Speaker: Yeah, that's the time, know. And when used to tell my dad, my dad would just look and say, maybe you should tell your mother. was Personally, was a one detainee.
Speaker: mean Wow. and But, yeah. So I always say, you know, to those who have started families, enjoy it. You know, nothing. Enjoy every moment of it. Enjoy every moment. You know, if I could do it again.
Speaker: and No, I wouldn't do it again. I won't lie. No. But you know what, though? One of the things that I'm realizing in speaking to you is you seem very intentional yeah in everything that you do. i think you i'm I'm getting this sense of, you know, you you move back home because you had a very intentional move.
Speaker: You thought through all the things that you're missing because that that whole, the families that we grew up with, yeah not being able to afford your children that, you do realize how they're missing out.
Speaker: Yeah. Oh, yes. It's, a you know, it's it's so much, you know, I mean, even even being here in South Africa, you know, i mean, my kids go into a super private school and they meet people, they're friends with ah parents who have uber wealth, you know, that kind of wealth that it takes the next five generations for it to finish.
Speaker: And it it it creates its own social pressure. But one of the things that have kept me strong is that, you know, listening to wisdom from ah generations before.
Speaker: You only have but your name, you know, and it doesn't matter. So I try to encourage my boys to just be yourself. You know, one of the things you nice to tell my dad is like, this is it you know why the school uniform went on?
Speaker: It's so that no one sees who is greater because if you are left to always, not paying interest. This is that. It would give us problems. so yeah I can tell you, being a mother of a child who went to school here in the U.S., in a school system where uniform is not a thing, yeah that really is something that gives pressure.
Speaker: Because children want to, this whole wanting to live like the Joneses, right? Everything is set based on, and especially now in these days of social media. yeah I don't know how the parents would. My son is 26. So yes, social media was there, but it wasn't to the extent where it is now.
Speaker: right And one thing I always told my child is, i don't know, I've always had a very... I don't to say a yeah humble way of looking at things, but I never bought him anything super expensive for him to go flash at school.
Speaker: Yeah. Because that's not who are. And that's not your money. That's my money. Yeah. You were neat. You you we had the basics. You had the foundation. I never bought him anything with anybody's name on it.
Speaker: Yeah. So anything that was, you know, whatever design or anything. I'm like, because unless I need you to admire people for specific reasons, you can admire a, an athlete and admire their talent, but you're not going to have their name on your back yes because that's not you worshiping them until you get your own name on your back.
Speaker: Then you can start looking at other people's names. And he did that. Yeah. No, you got in name i love and yeah but you have to do those principles. And, you know, so that's why I say for me, I've enjoyed every step of ah the journey of parenting and every step that comes that is to happen in the future.
Speaker: But there is no point that I wish to repeat any process.
Speaker: I hate to agree with you, but I do agree with you. with thoughts i I do not want to repeat any process. It's a one time kind of deal. That's it. you know And you watch these as long as you've raised to good, functional adults, I've won in life.
Speaker: Yeah. So, like I say, you know, I look at my siblings. I'm the first of three. um same here. You know, and i am I'm watching, you know.
Speaker: and Because they' all at different stages, you know. I mean, the the gap between, them um you know, my my siblings' children is good, I think, what, six, seven years?
Speaker: ah behind my last bone. So, ah yeah. And I'm watching this, you know, and you know, you get to see what has happened before. They're like, hey, I'm like, no, you know, yeah I'm not a babysitter. And I've told my kids, please don't call me to babysit. And I want to be a traveling grandparent.
Speaker: You know, visit and go. I want to enjoy my wife and my girlfriend. You know, she's my girlfriend. I want to travel. Yes, that's your girlfriend for life. If that's not your girlfriend for life, then that's a problem. But that is your girlfriend for life. Me and this chick, we want to go. I want to put my toes in the beach in Jamaica. don't want to be fallen. Can you come and look after her?
Speaker: No, no, no. Right? as soon as As soon as this this this boy here As soon as he's ready for varsity, ah, we're done. We're gone. Well, listen, i am I am happy to tell you that the other side, the empty nesting side, is amazing.
Speaker: Oh, yes. It is amazing. i am this I feel like this is my second lease on life. Yes. And for you, though, you still have a little bit of time without because you still have some responsibilities, right, until they're done with university and all that.
Speaker: Yeah. My son is 26. Yeah. So I am living a life of, like right now, he called he told me earlier this week, oh, we're going on a hike and blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: Boy, you've never been on a hike. yeah But okay, just drop your location so at least I know you're alive. Like that's... Yeah, thank you that's all. You see, for me... You make no adult decisions.
Speaker: Oh, the way out the way I'm planning this. um Because, you know, i mean, when we have our tête-à-tête and disagreements, you know, when the men come in and they want to show me they've got no testosterone, I'm like, cool, gents, cool. Okay.
Speaker: As long as my wallet is not involved. That voice gets deeper. yeah Yeah, No, as long as you can see the B-T-H-S. You do what you do. Because, you know, I mean, they're ballers. So, you know, my older boy is 6'5". His brother is 6'3". So, they might you know, they're 12 than me. Oh, wow.
Speaker: And, you know, and I just say, listen, as long as my wallet's not involved, that's when we become friends now because, you know, we still remain the best. So I've said to my wife that as soon as these boys in varsity,
Speaker: We are going to get a two-bedroom flat, give them keys. You're downsizing. No, no, i know no they I'm booting them out of the house.
Speaker: I'm locking up and we're gone. How you survive on a monthly, wherever you are in the world, make sure it works until we touch base again. Oh, my gosh. no You know what? I love that for you, though, because that's also confidence, because I think a lot of people forget that they're not raising children.
Speaker: oh They're raising adults. So that that cut off of being able to understand and even trusting your gut instinct, right? Your gut that I have raised a good person, i have raised somebody who's going to be capable in this world is I think that one of the main reasons why as parents, we try to hold on to our children longer than we should.
Speaker: Oh, you know, it's so my most exciting part of this, you know, when I look at my accomplishment in raising that I don't wake up to cook breakfast on a Sunday for anybody besides my wife, you know.
Speaker: I can't ask, are you hungry? No, no, no, mate. You know, as long as you know what to do man for himself. Ah, no, he's man for himself. If it's there, it's there, you know.
Speaker: And the nice thing now is that, you know, we're starting to apportion the the fridge, you know, like roomies, you know. Don't touch my yogurt. You've got roommates now. Yeah, I know. Don't touch my yogurt. You know, when we do grocery, you know that you like Doritos. I don't do Doritos, so keep your hand. But, you know, it's it's one of those that where they do their shopping and then they tap you on the shoulder, can have your card?
Speaker: So I'm enjoying that process now. Nice. And, you know, look, it's earned stripes, you know. It's earned stripes. It's not an easy journey. No, it's not.
Speaker: And, you know, whatever I did to my parents to make them kuapa shungu, I apologize because I'm going through it now, you know. and but I think you need to say that again. so so they really hear you.
Speaker: Oh, yeah. yeah So, you know, it's it's been fun, me you know. And the nice thing is, you know, my kids also very, they're so in love with Zimbabwe.
Speaker: And that is ah a beautiful thing for me. You know, they they find their belonging. They believe in the Hrimtupo, you know, as we do in that attend the Atene family. So, you know, we stand strong on that.
Speaker: so okay and you know we stand strong on that You know, and they do too. You know, they believe in that. So i'm I think we're almost there, you know, with my wife. I think we're almost there to say, look, lads, I think you'll be able to handle it.
Speaker: You know, you're good boys. And whatever it is, you know, you won't run away from it. Just make sure you don't go hungry. So it's not about eating the best. It's just eating okay. Okay, right. right Yeah. yeah and And, you know, as I said, for you, I think the theme has been intentionality, being able to instill those those deep roots in them.
Speaker: You might not be living in Zimbabwe, but I'm sure they have pride in knowing who they are. Yeah. So they can walk into any room and still be themselves. And that is something that if it's not if it's not it's not only taught, it also has to be lived.
Speaker: True. In order for the kids to be able to actually emanate it, you have to live it. So, you know, definitely kudos to both you and your wife for you guys being able to do that. Kudos to you for keeping the culture going.
Speaker: Yeah. And, you know, I always say, and I say to them, guys, you know, and and where when you bring your friends home, you know, that the lady friends, please make sure that prettier than your mom, you know. Otherwise, you know, that's the bar. There you Why you said extent is for these boys? Leave those boys alone. So listen, this whole conversation has been about boys.
Speaker: But this is not what this is about. Really, this is about you. I know they have a huge part of that. Yeah. But for you and your journey to 50. So where do I begin, though? You know, look, I have, how can I put it?
Speaker: I don't regret any parts of my life. If I do, it's so momentarily, say. momentarily should i say Because i think I'm of the generation where I had a and fantastic, fantastic teenagehood, so to say, you know.
Speaker: um I've grown up with great friends. um Lifelong friends, it sounds like. a Lifelong friends, you know. i I miss a lot of people.
Speaker: You know, because I've had the occasion to spend a lot of time with a lot of people, you know. um I grew up a little bit faster than my years. ah So, you know, it's when I hit 21, 22. Was that because of behavior? Yeah.
Speaker: behavior, mischief. Was that because of your behavior? Okay. Mischief, yeah. Mischief is the word, the growing up before you need it. Okay. You know, mischief. Okay. You know, mischief, look, i I was not a saint, but I was a nice naughty boy. Okay. You know, I was a nice naughty boy.
Speaker: you know but it was it Was it the type of naughty boy when everything starts messing up, you look the most innocent, yet you were probably the ringleader? Yeah, you know, I'll put it this way. I was the naughty boy your mom liked.
Speaker: Oh, goodness. You're the dangerous kind of naughty boy. I was the naughty boy that, you know, your mom trusted me to go out with. no She knew that I was naughty boy, but I was the good naughty boy that, you know. Oh, my gosh. You would still behave.
Speaker: Yeah, and she would know that, okay, this one is naughty, you know, but it's okay. He's welcome. But, you know, come again. Yeah. But having said that, I had the most fun being a teenager. You know, if if God said rewind button and pick a place, I would do my teenage years again without changing a thing.
Speaker: Oh, that is lovely. That is lovely. Without changing a thing. And I think those who rode with me ah and have known me, we have the fondest memories. There are times that I think we can laugh and laugh and laugh.
Speaker: um I would like to say I don't think... that the best? Yeah, I'd like to think I don't have an enemy, you know. i And even those that wanted to dislike me didn't quite find the space to dislike me.
Speaker: but you They couldn't justify it Like, why do you not like that? They can't justify it. You know, the thing is, I don't think I wronged anyone, you know. No. In my life, i always did things a little bit different. I wanted to be different. I made sure that I did things differently.
Speaker: Um, but I never shunned anyone, you know, and I don't think anyone can turn around and say that Kuziwa Atene has ever shunned me, you know. Um, I think when kids say that they're hosting a beach party, was the equivalent in our time. You know, we hosted a huge place. My mom had a restaurant called Pan-African.
Speaker: Um, And this is how I sort of raised my fees to go to the United Kingdom. At the time I needed to go, oh we threw some massive parties. Oh, you threw the parties. Okay.
Speaker: Oh. I'm such a homebody. I would know, I knew about these things, but I just, I don't like crowds. Oh, man. But yet I am the life of the party when I'm there. But I just, just that effort to go out. I'm just like, ugh.
Speaker: You know, that's me today, though. That's me today. You know, the funny thing that is me today. It's kind of like, yeah, my sail has been blown. i And the time that I rode the oceans and went over the waves, yeah, I did it in my time. I mean, this put it this way. In my 20s, I should have been grooving ah big time. But I settled, you know.
Speaker: I kind of did ah everything that I needed to do in the right time. um So was it kind of one of those moments where everybody was like, Kuziwa did what? He's married?
Speaker: Yeah. Was it like one of those things where everybody does a double take? Yeah. You know, ah surprisingly, there you know, this beautiful chick that i made I got married to, man. Wow.
Speaker: yeah yeah I was never supposed to marry her. Not her. Not me marrying her. But um yeah, you know, I kind of found my treasure. i might have i might have to have her on just to be like, why?
Speaker: Tell me why. Oh, yeah, you know, um you know, she's she she's an Arundel chick. And the funny thing is her best friend was my homie, you know.
Speaker: And one Sunday, ah you know, Arundel was one of those schools, you know.
Speaker: You know, yeah it's not like you looked at the girls at Arundel and said, I love them. You know, there were a few pictures. The rest were siblings, you know. I mean, girls at Arundel were like my sisters, you know.
Speaker: And large because my sister was there. ah But other than that, you know, my friend's sisters were also there. So they were like my sisters as well, you know.
Speaker: And one Sunday I'm sitting with, um my wife is called Doris, so... I'm sitting with Doris' best friend, you know, her bestie, bestie, bestie. And I'm sitting there and saying, Jenny, who's the girl? And they're like, you. I'll kill you if you touch her.
Speaker: You're like, watch one day I'm going to marry you. i don't know how made that happen. Really? You declared it then? I declared it then. Before you even knew her. I didn't even know her name. and That is amazing.
Speaker: Two years later. ah we met, you know, she had just finished school. And, yeah, the acquaintance began, you know. And, you know, everything else, c yeah, and then it became that. And then she became the girlfriend, the friend, the girlfriend, the chick, the babe, the number one, the honey, you name it.
Speaker: ah I can't live without you. My breath, you know. You're my everything. My everything. And then it became, yeah I didn't even ask to marry her. You know, I didn't even propose. I just put a ring on her finger. i said, are we doing this? ah And to this day. so you owe her you owe her a proposal?
Speaker: I'm not going to propose because i don't want to be told no. No, no she she's your girlfriend for life. So at some point you have to propose. oh If I propose, then you put me on standby until you didn't propose that time. I'm not taking those chances.
Speaker: and dainda dainda um exactly i mean i I'm that way. Guys, I can't take that chance. You are begotten.
Speaker: No, that sounds like such a fairy tale kind of marriage. And I'm really happy for you guys. Congratulations. So with you, you've just You've been experiencing this thing now for like, what, a month?
Speaker: A month? Yeah, like a month today, actually. You said the 25th of June, right? Yep. Yep, a whole month today. You see, it's a whole month later, and you know, it's still rolling, still rolling.
Speaker: i Look, i I am so happy to be, ah if there is a definition of happiness, this is the place to be. You know, there's are people that have not made it that were in our lives.
Speaker: And I think for a great many of us, ah you know, we look back at the friends we've lost, the cousins we've lost, the cousins we grew up with, they didn't make this number. Right. um So to to make this number is so great because it gives you a very different perspective of life. And to be quite honest, I am so looking forward to enjoying the second half of this life um because it's no longer about the grind now.
Speaker: You know, it's no longer about the grind. It's now we've about just feeding into the happiness. And feeding into the happiness is, yeah, it's not monetary anymore. You know, it's now looking for the occasions that keep you smiling yeah and the things that make you have yeah the greatest memories. You see, you talking about your son turning 26. Wow, look at that.
Speaker: And what are the chapters that are going to be happening in his life that you get to witness? You see? Right. And one day he's going to turn 30 and say, you know what, folks, what now?
Speaker: And you're able to share that. You know what? It's not even about the money now. Now it's about putting the values together and living those values. You know, you're there now, you know, and say, OK, so, wow, I am really enjoying being at this number. And may God keep me for the next several numbers.
Speaker: You know, I don't want to the Noah times and the Adam and... Nope, that's our prayer. Yeah. Just as long as I'm supposed to be here. Yeah, you know, Asia, you know, you see, for you guys here in America, say it's okay. In Africa,
Speaker: then she got my zero z zero ways him z what fine yeah but but just say i do it With the way things are you don't even know. Yeah.
Speaker: i'm a man a go sikawi ko coquamo yeah don't want to be oney mapa equal error yeah i and and i'm good he um one person i look at is my dad my dad is seventy eight but you know what though yeah He refuses to not be independent.
Speaker: And I'm like, he's 78 this year. He refuses to not be independent. That is awesome. So your your parents, I would say, are a lot ah ahead of the scale. Because one of the things I've realized in having these conversations is that we are not the same 50 that even our parents were.
Speaker: We're not the same 50. So your dad is actually ahead of the curve because a lot of people cherish, like our parents and our parents' generations, they cherish that moment where they get to that age of, okay, now I can say, grandkids do this for me. Oh, my children are now gone and they have their own family. So I am now officially old.
Speaker: We're not doing that. you know For me, I think the only thing that tells that I'm 50 is that I got a lot of gray hair. It wasn't supposed to come. I don't know why. Which spirit was doing my jeras for me? No, that's wisdom. We shall count it as wisdom. you know But look, as long as Obama has got more gray hair than me, I'm good.
Speaker: I'm good.
Speaker: As he should. As the leader of the so-called the leader of the free world, he should have more gray hairs. but yeah So as long as he is white, I'm good, I'm good. But no, um know truly, look, you know to be here in the year 50, it's not so much about the date that it happens. It's the year that um we need to embrace. And to say that, you know what, we came to this world in 75, 2025. I mean,
Speaker: you know To be honest, I think every single one of us looked at this time and said, in 2025 I will be 50. It was not imaginable. It too far away. It wasn't. it was It was never. and no At no time did I ever sit down and say, I wonder what I will be like when I'm 50.
Speaker: You know, we all looked at in the 90s and we were 15 and in Form 3 together, ah, I tell Kura, do you know, independent, you know, you were allowed to come home at midnight, you know, life was okay. And then in 19, when you were allowed to go overseas, get on a plane and go overseas by yourself, you know, I was grown. 19, you know, grown and, you know, you felt independent, paying your own rent. I remember my dad came to visit me in London the one time.
Speaker: And I asked him to switch off the right hand. Ah, how was that? my days are not zimmer he
Speaker: That's a new type of grown-up right there. I now know about these bills. you know yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. You see, even now, and I look at my kids, you know, and they walk out the room. Can't see you left your friend in your room.
Speaker: And they always look at me. I'm like, ah go. Isn't it funny when you hear yourself they say restating the things that were said to you? Amen, you know. But, yeah you know, having said that, walking in faith, ah my wife brought me to faith um in 2009.
Speaker: And I have thoroughly enjoyed my conversations with God and to say that, you know, thank you, Lord. I may not have the dream car, Aston Martin DB11. If anyone is listening, any billionaire that's listening,
Speaker: who wants to part with one. Yes. You know, wants to just part with one. I'm here in Joburg, Aston Martin, DB11. The most ideal birthday present. so You've got the seats down, everything.
Speaker: I've got the seats, white seats, white leather seats. Yes, white leather seats. Not black, please. White leather seats to show good work. Okay, okay. And it's a two-seater, just you and your wife.
Speaker: Ah, two-seater. Ah, I don't need niggas with me. No, no, I don't even want my own family in that car. Just my wife. Again, intentional. Because... Very intentional. Yeah, no, no.
Speaker: No, just, there you know, and and to just to bore people, and think I just want to listen to Mozart. I know this... Yeah, I think that's the time I really appreciate. Oh, my goodness.
Speaker: Yeah, hey no, no, we don't need hooliganism. That is funny. Well, just finish your thought. Yeah, no, was just saying that, yeah, you know. um So that's it. in And in my walk, it's just I am truly, truly, truly grateful um to be living this life as Kuziwa Hatendi.
Speaker: And I think ah when I leave this earth, I hope I leave an impact and great memories. ah To say that, you know what, this guy lived, we enjoyed, we met him.
Speaker: And it was always an honor to have shaken his hand. I think that's the impact I'd like to leave in this world. That would be, that is a beautiful legacy. And honestly, just from speaking to you today and how intentional, as I said, intentional is the word for you.
Speaker: How intentional I think you've lived your life, it sounds like. I think that legacy has already been built. The foundation of that, it sounds like it's already there. So really good vibes to you.
Speaker: Really good advice. Yes. You know, and um please carry on. Please carry on. I was going to say, well, to wrap it up, the last, the one thing I always ask my guests is what would you tell your 21-year-old self today at 50?
Speaker: What advice would you give your 21-year-old self?
Speaker: Wow. um Tia Kuziwa. For the next 21 years and more, always move forward. There's very little to regret in life and to not be afraid to make the right decision.
Speaker: Even though sometimes you may be wrong, learn from it always. And life is about progress. Like mathematics, it's a linear progression. That's how God has intended it for you.
Speaker: And keep going, son. Keep going. I love that. I love that. Keep going. So I'm going to give that advice to your 50-year-old self, right? Keep going.
Speaker: like you Continue to live life intentionally and continue to just just walk with the faith. It sounds like you're a man who's in your faith. Just take that next step like you did before, knowing you're stepping on solid ground.
Speaker: and Definitely. It was wonderful speaking to you, Kuzua. No, lovely to have met you. You know, I feel like I should have met you 100 years ago.
Speaker: I know. This was so easy.
Speaker: You know, and I look forward to actually meeting you in person. And we'll catch up from where we left off. Well, you said that 51 next right? 51 next year that you're having in... Yes. No, i'm going you know what? We want to do it um about this time next year.
Speaker: i for it. Largely because... you know, ah August so that, you know, when the when there's no rain and it's not too cold. So it's going to be about August, august September next year.
Speaker: I just got to make sure that I don't interfere with my anniversary and my wife's birthday. But yeah, it's just to keep the glory. But like I said, you know, it's it's not the 50th this year because I'm still doing some self-retrospection and ah ticking all the boxes. And then when my first year happens in the 50s, we're celebrating. I love it.
Speaker: We're celebrating to say that this was what happened the last 50 years. So God be with me that I'm alive. it I love it. No, I will be seeing you next year around this time. And now we have it recorded. So it's definitely on, you know, it's recorded somewhere in a cloud. It's definitely out there.
Speaker: So no, what what we're going to do is that we'll we'll find a very nice venue. I love it. and because ultimately we want it to be a family event. You know, bring your family. You know, I am one person that I love family. I really, you know, would love to see if if, you know, all of us got these grown kids that live their own independent lives, you know. it's bring your spouse or bring the one that you love.
Speaker: Yes. And let's make a with it. Some of us have not been blessed with 30 years. We haven't been blessed with 30 years. So, you know, we'll bring the one we love. Bring the one you love.
Speaker: Bring the one you love. No, I definitely look forward to that. This is not, um you know, this is not it's not, it's not a platform of judgment. Life life has its own challenges and differences. i mean, I'm always fighting with my wife and saying, you know what?
Speaker: You know that you denied my Hollywood crushes a chance with me, you know? You know? And... She says, I said, you know, we I used to have a crush on that. You know, there's a day she's going to tell you go.
Speaker: so be So be careful. If she tells me. yeah And go away. Go find that Hollywood crush. i I know, but she's already married. You can't take someone's wife.
Speaker: Just saying, just, you know, just so that you know. yeah Because you keep reminding her. So one of these days, she's going to answer you and tell you, well, go get her. Let's get together.
Speaker: and just This is your crush. this is your This has nothing to do with her. But yet you keep wanting to bring her into it. No, I just said to her, hey, you know, I'm so glad that guy's even gone old. What's his name? Denzel Washington.
Speaker: The guy gave me water. Oh, no, but he has gotten finer like red wine. ah No, no, no, no, no. Denzel has gotten finer like red wine. no you see So that's what I'm saying is that we have to just remind each other that, Shri, you and me were just on lockdown. Sorry.
Speaker: And we're on lockdown. Yeah. But Zewa, this has been an amazing time. Thank you. Thank you so, so so much. no Thank you. i thank you. And I wish you every success with this podcast. Keep fishing these 50 years. There are plenty of them.
Speaker: oh know And we'll refer Yes, please. I need more guys. I need more guys on. I've been speaking to women, which I love. i love. But I really want to get the guy perspective. And I really enjoyed yours.
Speaker: You're going to my first guy that I'm publishing. So I'm super excited about just that. Okay, so what I will do is that I will reach out to those that I know, the Machinda that i know. Yes.
Speaker: As vain as they want to be, i know they want to be heard some way the other. So i I will reach them out and then put you in touch. And then, you know, I look forward to hearing, you know, what people have to say about being 15. Yes, I love it. All right. Thank you for joining us on this episode of Journey from 1975 2025. Make sure you're subscribing.
Speaker: make sure you're subscribing YouTube, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify so you don't miss the latest episode.
