Transcript
Bertha Musoni: Hello everyone, welcome to the third episode of Journey from 1975 2025.
Pearl: you
Bertha Musoni: For those of you who here, that means this is a journey to fifty this is ah This is a podcast that really talks to people who are turning this big age this year, like myself.
Bertha Musoni: That's why it is just for people who were born in 1975, at least hearing from people born in 1975. And they're going to share with us what their experiences have been, what what bridges they've crossed, and how they feel about this big age.
Bertha Musoni: um Are they scared? Are they happy? are they fulfilled? Or what what exactly is coming in that next chapter for them? So today i have a dear friend of mine, Pearl Chingomba, who lives in North Carolina.
Bertha Musoni: And I've known Pearl since what Pearl? High school?
Pearl: Yes, high school.
Bertha Musoni: since high school. So we have known each other for quite some time, just like one of my previous guests, it has been through our formative years to today. So welcome, Pearl. Welcome.
Pearl: Thank you, Bertha. Thank you Thanks for having me.
Bertha Musoni: Now, thank you for agreeing to come and sharing with us about your journey to 50. So you are already there.
Pearl: Yep, I turned 50 in March.
Bertha Musoni: Well, happy happy belated birthday to you. And I can't wait to celebrate. Whenever we see each other one of these fine days, we will definitely celebrate.
Pearl: Thank you
Bertha Musoni: So how did you bring in 50? Tell me about that.
Pearl: You know what? I think, you know, before the age comes, like before the birthday, the big 50th birthday, you have ideas, you are planning years like, oh, on my 50th, I'm going to do this.
Pearl: I'm going to do this. But it was actually more chilled than i actually thought it would be.
Bertha Musoni: Don't tell me that mine is yet to come.
Pearl: um
Bertha Musoni: Don't say that.
Pearl: what Well, no, you can go ahead and do some big stuff. I did some big stuff around it, but it was not a party.
Bertha Musoni: Uh
Pearl: It was, you know, just getting away with my family.
Bertha Musoni: huh.
Pearl: We went to um an amazing lake house for like just a four day getaway.
Bertha Musoni: Nice.
Pearl: And that was the best time. thing I could have done. It just beats the lights of a party or anything like that.
Pearl: it was just an amazing time with my family. And I just love that there was just the four of us. i have, um you know, my other daughter wasn't able to come, but that was one of the most beautiful times that I've spent with my family.
Pearl: It was amazing. And I don't think I would change it for anything, um but I have something that's planned in September.
Bertha Musoni: Oh, it
Pearl: So I'm celebrating the whole year, like the whole of 2025.
Bertha Musoni: that's the attitude right there because hey, we're turning 50.
Pearl: Yeah, so yeah
Bertha Musoni: Nice.
Pearl: so i'm I'm still taking gifts right now, so you can keep them coming. So in September, I'm having a girls trip.
Bertha Musoni: nine
Pearl: And, you know, yeah, that's going to be i'm still within the US in Sedona, Arizona. So I'm looking forward to celebrating with my friends. But I had something special with my family and I love that.
Bertha Musoni: That is amazing. That, you know, it's always nice when when you do something that is not what you expected, and yet it turns out amazing. I think that's um one of the things that I've appreciated with with just getting older.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: You know, not look not not always looking forward for the flash and the bang and everything. Just simple, nice silence is a beautiful thing.
Pearl: It was amazing. And I just kept saying, you know, talking to God about it, like, Lord, I couldn't have curated such a beautiful weekend like this.
Pearl: You are the one that made everything happen the way it did, you know?
Bertha Musoni: yeah
Pearl: So yeah, yeah, that was just a beautiful time.
Bertha Musoni: That's amazing the way you were meant to celebrate. So your family, I know you said you had, there were four of you, but you mentioned you have another daughter. So you have three girls, right?
Pearl: Yes, I do.
Bertha Musoni: And your husband, how how is that? how How has being a mom, how old are they?
Pearl: I have a 24-year-old. She's out of the house now. And in the home, I have a 17-year-old. Oh, actually, no not 17. Wow. She's 18 and 18.
Pearl: <unk> eighteen
Bertha Musoni: better get that right, mom.
Pearl: when Yes, she she's 18, turning 19, and then I have a 16-year-old soon to be turning 17.
Bertha Musoni: Oh, wow.
Pearl: So, yeah, we're getting there.
Bertha Musoni: Oh, wow. Well, I'm an empty nester, so i I can tell you what to look forward to. And you're almost there. You're almost there.
Pearl: I'm almost there, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I want to cry already. Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: What? No, no, no, no, no. you This is going to be the fun side of turning 50, in my opinion.
Pearl: and Okay.
Bertha Musoni: I've been an empty nester for several years. My son is 20. He just turned 28 last week, actually.
Pearl: Okay.
Bertha Musoni: And so I've been an empty nester for some time. And i At first, I didn't know how to function without having to rush for sports, rush for this or worry about this.
Bertha Musoni: But I think I've kept faith in the fact that I raised and an adult, not a child.
Pearl: I hear you.
Bertha Musoni: And I think that's one thing within the mindset that, you know, as a parent, I think being able to accept that has actually helped me. in not wanting to hold on to my child, but understanding that I've raised an adult and he's a functioning adult.
Pearl: I love that.
Bertha Musoni: So,
Pearl: i love that.
Bertha Musoni: Yeah.
Pearl: I can already see, you know, um my kids already, you know, they're still here, but they're not needing me as much. Like for an example, my youngest dancer, she's a dancer and she goes to the studio.
Bertha Musoni: yeah
Pearl: She is so busy with her dance schedule. So there's a time not long ago,
Bertha Musoni: Right. Yes.
Pearl: I was up and down, dropping her off, picking her up. You know, now who's going to do this between the three of us? But now she just got her license like a couple of months ago.
Pearl: So now she's driving by herself. So she just comes in, goes in by herself. So, you know, those little things, it's like they're growing out of the nest, soon to be flying.
Pearl: It's coming, it's coming.
Bertha Musoni: yeah
Pearl: So, yeah, they they don't need you as much. to be hovering around, dropping off and making lunches and stuff like that. So yeah.
Bertha Musoni: And parenting is crazy because you have to you have to give them the bandwidth, right?
Pearl: Yep.
Bertha Musoni: The space in order for you to be able to show that you trust them. But at the same time, you want to jump in and save them.
Pearl: yeah
Bertha Musoni: But in order for them to grow, you kind of just have to give them the birth and trust yourself because you've put in the work to get them here.
Pearl: I sure did. i know I did.
Bertha Musoni: you
Pearl: Wow.
Bertha Musoni: You put in the work to get them here. So with, you know, with raising kids, you and I both grew up in Zimbabwe. And i always reflect that our 50 is not our parents 50.
Pearl: wow
Bertha Musoni: We also are raising kids in a totally different environment than the one that we grew up in How was that for you bridging that?
Pearl: Oh, you just said it there, you know, that it's a different environment. um You know, we grew up when the world was, you know, was a small place.
Bertha Musoni: Thank you.
Pearl: Now when our kids grow up, the world is like open to them. They already, you know, know what's happening in other places, you know, with social media, with cell phones, we we kind of grew up differently. And, and and you know, that, you know, the I would say the more traditional way, you know,
Pearl: So I think I just try to balance it, you know, with just the way I was raised, some of the foundations of the way I was raised and the way this generation is being raised, you know, so it it's kind of different.
Bertha Musoni: Right.
Pearl: There's still some things that I still incorporate um with the way that I was raised, where I'm like, you know what, this was not bad. Whether, you know, i hate to talk about this, but, you know,
Bertha Musoni: Mm-hmm.
Pearl: when I talk about spanking, when my kids were younger, I used to spank my kids.
Bertha Musoni: right
Pearl: Um, and that's kind of how I grew up. Actually, we used to call it ah hiding, you know, you are bad.
Bertha Musoni: Hiding, yes. yeah
Pearl: You would get a hiding, you know?
Bertha Musoni: Yes. Get your own hiding apparatus.
Pearl: yeah
Pearl: Yes. Yes. So, um,
Bertha Musoni: Go pick your own building.
Pearl: And that's the way we were raised. And I wouldn't even take any of that back to say I grew up in an era, you know, I would say we we grew up in an era where we were like free range kids.
Bertha Musoni: Right. Yep, yep.
Pearl: You know, you would go where you go, come back at, well, not whatever time, because you still get that hiding, right?
Bertha Musoni: the light the lights the lights were the compass of the street lights
Pearl: But yes, you come back before the lights, you know, went on. and stuff like that. But we had a chance to play outside. We had a chance to just, you know, have so much adventure in our lives.
Pearl: And when I just look at myself raising my kids here, and especially here in the US, you know, it's different. Sometimes I wish they would get down and dirty and, you know,
Bertha Musoni: Right.
Pearl: Actually, we actually had a chance to live in Zimbabwe for a few years, um you know, a few years ago, it's about maybe 15 or so years ago.
Bertha Musoni: Experience, yeah.
Bertha Musoni: right
Pearl: So they had part of that Zim upbringing where it takes a village to raise the kids, you know, whether it's someone that's like, okay,
Bertha Musoni: mar c
Pearl: that's not right, child. Don't speak to your mom like that, you know, kind of thing.
Bertha Musoni: Yeah. Yes.
Pearl: They had a chance to be outside to make mud cakes, you know, things that we grew up making.
Bertha Musoni: yeah
Pearl: But it's it's just a different time now, how you we where we have to raise kids. We have to be careful what we say. You know, we're dealing with things like anxiety, depression.
Pearl: Not that those things weren't there back then when we grew up, but, you know, they really weren't prevalent or you had no chance to to be bringing them up.
Bertha Musoni: focus on that.
Pearl: No, no, no one was going to listen to you, okay?
Bertha Musoni: focus at
Pearl: You just had to get in line.
Bertha Musoni: nobody was going to yeah You need to do what needs to be done. This is what needs to be done. Get it done.
Pearl: Hey.
Bertha Musoni: yeah i Dare I say, i almost want to say, and and our parents, it was kind of, I want to, the thing that keeps coming through my head is our parents had it a little easier.
Bertha Musoni: But then I think, no, they didn't.
Pearl: Mm-hmm.
Bertha Musoni: Because we were also that early generation of them with integration after independence and things like that. So because we started grade one in 81 is when we started grade one.
Pearl: Yeah. Exactly.
Bertha Musoni: that was right after independence. So that's them now navigating that new world of wanting what's best for their kids and now navigating into this this other world that they never knew. So part of me wants to say, yeah, they had it easy, but they didn't.
Pearl: they did they They did not.
Bertha Musoni: They did not have it easy.
Pearl: They did not.
Bertha Musoni: they they They had their own challenges. And I think for us as parents, being in this new world as well, right, navigating, trying to blend our traditional, just like they were, i would almost say we are almost the same as them in a way.
Pearl: Yeah.
Pearl: Yeah, yeah. um You know, when you asked that question, it's funny, something came up in my mind.
Bertha Musoni: Uh-huh..
Pearl: Just I think yesterday, I think it was yesterday, i was looking for um some teaspoons. I couldn't find ah teaspoon. You know, i was like, okay, where are the teaspoons in this house?
Pearl: But... um So it reminded me of an incident where i had, you know, like when the way we grew up, you know, there was always that display where our parents would have these special plates, special glasses and everything.
Bertha Musoni: and so
Pearl: I don't know what it's called now, what people really call it.
Bertha Musoni: in the special cabinet, in the curio.
Pearl: You know how we'd get a cabinet and we would call it a display.
Bertha Musoni: Uh-huh.
Pearl: um So when I was raising my family, as I'm raising my family, I'm like, okay, I don't want to have any special plates, kids.
Bertha Musoni: Uh-huh.
Pearl: You just wear your clothes when you want to wear your clothes. There's nothing special about these glasses or anything. Just use what you can in the house. So, you know, they use stuff.
Pearl: And then some weekend, I think it was a weekend, I was having... um I was entertaining some guests from church, some friends from church. There was quite a ah few of them. I think maybe we were like eight or 10 or something like that.
Pearl: So, and I was formally setting the table. So I started to look for glasses. Bertha, if I can tell you, I could not. I was finding one glass under the bed with some stuck on syrup, one short glass here, one tall glass here, know,
Bertha Musoni: the others were broken, the whole set was broken, so you didn't have a set.
Pearl: They were broken and I didn't have a set. And you know what I did? What I had a set of was some wine glasses that were all the same.
Pearl: So I ended up serving them, you know, setting the table and putting wine glasses.
Bertha Musoni: Oh my gosh.
Pearl: And, you know, I'm sure they thought, oh, fancy, we having some Sprite in wine glasses.
Bertha Musoni: Nancy, no, no. You just understood in that moment.
Pearl: But it was, yeah, it was because I could not find. And i was like, I said to myself, no wonder.
Bertha Musoni: This is why.
Pearl: my mom or our moms used to put away special things because here I am saying, have at it, use it.
Bertha Musoni: funny.
Pearl: And I cannot find two glasses that match.
Bertha Musoni: That's funny.
Pearl: It's crazy. So I was like, you know, that's why i just feel there's things that they did back then that, you know, I think were good.
Bertha Musoni: who
Bertha Musoni: yeah and we totally disregarded them we're like you're gonna die and not even be able to use your stuff like those are the comments that you hear like oh my gosh you're gonna die because of that special curio and nobody's ever gonna use it better but you know look at you now out here looking for glass a water glass
Pearl: Yay. Hey.
Pearl: Oh my goodness, brother.
Pearl: Hey, and I haven't told my mom that story. Really, I should. And my mom would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah yeah That's why we did it because, you know, it was more expensive for them.
Bertha Musoni: That is hilarious.
Pearl: Now for us, it's like I'm looking for teaspoons. I can go to Amazon and buy a set for $9.99, know.
Bertha Musoni: They're delivered by time by time you want your dinner to be done.
Pearl: Hey, hey, yeah. So that's something.
Bertha Musoni: Now that convenience is definitely, definitely something. I know we talk about growing up in Zimbabwe, but you know, leaving home and making that big jump. How was that for you?
Pearl: Wow. um who So many things to say there. Just making that big jump to here. um i can say maybe for me, I was already living alone away from home in a different, um you know, um part of the country. I was living, you know, Zimbabwe.
Pearl: I was living in Victoria Falls. So I was living there as a young adult. And, you know, so Really coming overseas wasn't that bad, except that, you know, just missing the family, my friends, at least at that time, I was able, when I was back home, I was able to go back home maybe once a month.
Bertha Musoni: Mm-hmm.
Pearl: But once I came here, it was like, Yeah, I'm far away. You miss your family. You miss your friends. I actually wanted to go back so many times. And I remember, i don't know whether it was my mom or my dad was saying, oh, you know, you've already left.
Pearl: because I just felt things were just going without me. I was just missing out. I was one of the first to leave out of my um group of friends.
Bertha Musoni: Yeah.
Pearl: um So the ones that I left back there, it was like I just felt I was just missing out. And here I was in America. The social life is not the same as back home.
Pearl: So I think there's times where I felt I wanted to leave and slowly, kind of got to hear that some of my other friends were actually leaving, maybe going to different parts of the world. i was like, okay.
Pearl: But, you know, just as an immigrant, it's like, it's not easy the first few years, you know, you you struggle, you know, to kind of get your footing and eventually you do.
Pearl: And, you know, i think everyone has, as an immigrant, I feel had their struggles in coming into a new country, um you know, unless you land with maybe someone that's your family, like maybe your mom, I would say, if you're coming to live with your mom, maybe the struggles aren't going to be as much as a person coming to live with maybe friends or maybe, say, relatives.
Bertha Musoni: Great. Great. Great.
Pearl: It's different. Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: but just coming to school yeah no i i can definitely say i i understand that i was fortunate like my my uncle and his family lived in chicago so i came to them um even though i had never met my uncle because my uncle came and he stayed here and he never came back home but it was a much easier transition knowing i was coming to family
Pearl: There's always that struggle. Yeah. Yeah.
Pearl: Mm-hmm.
Pearl: Okay. Wow.
Pearl: Okay.
Bertha Musoni: So that made it a tad bit easy, but that journey, like learning, fight but well, for you, probably finances wasn't so bad since you had been in Victoria Falls on your own.
Bertha Musoni: So you had navigated that, you know, being able to figure out your finances, making sure that things are are are enough and earning and, you know, paying that kind of thing.
Bertha Musoni: How have you, as your life has gone, How have you grown and matured and be able to get to a point like this point in your life? Do you feel like you're still, you still have more to do or with the kids getting ready through that empty nesting part of things, are you now kind of smooth sailing with just you and Richard?
Pearl: Um, do I have a lot?
Bertha Musoni: Oh, you still have college to pay for. Oh, I forgot.
Pearl: Uh-huh, girl. Hey, hey, hey. There's always a lot to do, brother. There's always a lot to do.
Bertha Musoni: Okay. Mm-hmm.
Pearl: You're 50, but you know what? There's many years, many more years to come. But I guess looking forward to college, um, You know, it definitely makes it better when you're on this journey with um someone else, you know, when you're not alone and you're not having to be the one that's coming up with all resources and, you know, just running the household. So it's always better when you have someone else. And by the way, I really forgot your question right now.
Pearl: ah You were saying what, Bertha?
Bertha Musoni: it was It was a pretty long-winded question, but it just made me, when you talked about you know having somebody else to make decisions with, how long have you and Richard been together?
Pearl: Wow, since 2000. I think i came to this country in So i made him in two thousand so yeah it's been a long time
Bertha Musoni: wow.
Pearl: um half my half my life right
Bertha Musoni: Half your life. Like, wait a minute, that's 25 years.
Pearl: yeah
Bertha Musoni: thoses
Pearl: Yeah, before I was, yeah, so he's been there through, yeah, through it all, through it all, through through everything.
Bertha Musoni: Oh,
Bertha Musoni: through overgrowth.
Pearl: It's funny, through the hairstyles, through everything, through, yeah, yeah, he's been.
Bertha Musoni: Well, talking about hairstyles, I know you did something, some would consider it extreme, but I wouldn't describe it as extreme.
Bertha Musoni: I would describe it as almost like you coming into being. You want to share what you did?
Pearl: I love that. i love that. but This is like coming into your being. and and And that is true because I think at this age, um you know, you are wiser.
Bertha Musoni: Yes. Yes. Coming into
Pearl: You come into yourself. You are more comfortable with who you are. um And so i guess you asked me earlier how I celebrated. And I think this is something that was something that I just did out of the blue.
Pearl: I'll take it as one of the celebration kind of thing, instead of jumping out of a plane or going on some hike, a mountain that I could never.
Bertha Musoni: Yes.
Pearl: But I decided to cut my hair, short and diet blonde so um I guess somewhere I've always had a blonde ambition but yeah yeah so I am a blonde girl with dark skin and yeah brown eyes and I'm rocking I'm rocking it and I'm loving it
Bertha Musoni: I love it.
Bertha Musoni: I love that for you. And you are. And you are. Like the day you sent me the picture, i was like, but you there's just you seem efferial.
Bertha Musoni: Like there's something just about you that just sort of this light that just surrounds you with that style. And you just look amazing. I love that for you.
Pearl: Thank you. Thank you, Bertha. Yeah, it's been a few months now.
Bertha Musoni: And you had never colored your hair, right?
Pearl: You said what?
Bertha Musoni: You had never colored your hair that extreme day.
Pearl: i had never colored my hair. i actually went to the hairdresser and I was just um telling her that, okay, next month I'll be turning 50 and I want to do something different.
Bertha Musoni: and
Pearl: And so this was in February. She was like, you know what, Pearl, I have seen it. When people have a chance to think about what they want, they usually never get that hairstyle.
Bertha Musoni: three
Pearl: So If you want to do it, you have to do it right now. And it's funny, she had already mixed the the cream to put on my hair. And she was like, okay, you need to make that decision now because next month, you're not going to be feeling the way you're feeling right now in that chair.
Bertha Musoni: Right, right.
Pearl: So I just took a few seconds. She was like, okay, tell me before. Okay. And I, and she had the scissors too. Yeah. I was like, okay, go for it. As soon as I said that, she had, I just saw a chunk of hair on the floor.
Bertha Musoni: I love that for you.
Pearl: It was too late to go back.
Bertha Musoni: i love that for you.
Pearl: It was too late, Bertha. And I was like, okay, girl, just do it, do it. And yeah, I walked out and I didn't exactly love it the first time, but I think What happens is the next time when I went, I went back after a few days, I was like, okay, this color, I don't think it's exactly the blonde that I wanted.
Bertha Musoni: ah
Pearl: So she redid it and you know what? I'm loving it now. Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: And I love I love you in it.
Pearl: Thank you. Thank you.
Bertha Musoni: How did your family take it?
Pearl: Hey, my family, and there were shocks.
Bertha Musoni: Was there a shock factor? Like, happened here?
Pearl: So the people, So, betha the people that I thought were going to love it, who are the kids? I thought they'll be like, mommy, this is, wow, this is, you know, the words that they use.
Bertha Musoni: Uh huh.
Pearl: I forgot.
Bertha Musoni: Yes, this is awesome.
Pearl: This is, yeah.
Bertha Musoni: so This is what you know, whatever they're gonna say.
Pearl: yeah Yeah. This is fire. This is on fire.
Bertha Musoni: ah yeah
Pearl: Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's what I thought. but no. They were just so shocked beyond. They were speechless. But one person that loved it from the get-go was my husband.
Pearl: And that's the person I thought maybe would not like it.
Bertha Musoni: You got opposite but opposite reactions.
Pearl: Yeah. So it was quite the opposite. And when I told him that first day when I came that, oh, it actually didn't come out the color that I wanted, he was like, no, it's perfect.
Pearl: Don't go and change it. And then the kids, after maybe a week, they were like, okay, mommy, I think I'm warming up to this. I think ah think I was like, girls, I thought you were the ones that were going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Bertha Musoni: Yes, Bob, you did it.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: good
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: No. So that right there is the supportive partner, right?
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: that's that That's what you just saw. Like when you were talking about the burden of not making decisions on your own, Richard gave it to you right there because that's the support.
Pearl: yeah yeah
Bertha Musoni: The girls, I think, who were cautious. They were like, hmm, if she doesn't like this, no,
Pearl: I'm like, that's not the age of being cautious. I'm like, that's not the age of being cautious. I thought they would be like, and then Richard over 50 would be more cautious.
Bertha Musoni: No, no, no, no, no. The girl's cautious was more like she could be going through something. And when she comes out on the other side, this is going to come on us.
Bertha Musoni: ah So let us be cautiously optimistic.
Pearl: Oh my goodness.
Bertha Musoni: a I think that's how the girls were looking at approaching this.
Pearl: I like this.
Bertha Musoni: Richard, on the other hand, was also like, if I say I don't like it, I need to, that's that's the support.
Pearl: and here
Pearl: Yeah, and you know what?
Bertha Musoni: Boost her up.
Pearl: I think with Richard, he he he just got a totally different wife with the with the with the new hair color.
Bertha Musoni: Oh, I love it.
Pearl: Like, okay, this is a different pearl.
Bertha Musoni: I love it.
Pearl: Okay.
Bertha Musoni: Okay. Okay. I love it. i love it. No, that sounds amazing. That absolutely sounds amazing. So how does it feel now when you look at yourself? Do you feel different from before when you had it?
Bertha Musoni: Like, are you feeling more confident?
Pearl: Um, yes, I am You know, one thing that I feel better is I do not have to, I can wake up and go. In fact, the messier it is, the better it is.
Pearl: And I don't know why with this short hair, like, and the color.
Bertha Musoni: Okay.
Pearl: Sometimes when I try to tame it and brush it to look a certain way, it doesn't give that, um, you know, what's, what's this look, um'm word I'm looking for, but it's kind of like,
Pearl: ah well, I like it more jazzy looking. i don't know whether that would be.
Bertha Musoni: okay i Okay. Okay. Let it do, let the hair have its own brain kind of thing.
Pearl: what
Bertha Musoni: Like let it do its own thing. Okay.
Pearl: Exactly. And Bertha, I think all that to say jazzy looking, because that is not the way with time. And, you know, when I'm looking at age and everything, that is the way we would say a person's hair is unkempt.
Bertha Musoni: Thank you, MTM.
Pearl: and it's uncombed.
Bertha Musoni: the
Pearl: But sometimes it actually looks good depending on what you're wearing. So sometimes it's just a get up and go kind of hairstyle way. You just get up, moisturize it, and walk out of the door.
Pearl: And then sometimes you'll need a brush and and and, you know, brush it.
Bertha Musoni: I love it.
Pearl: But it's like low maintenance, and I love it. I love it that it's like I don't have to spend too much time.
Bertha Musoni: I love it.
Pearl: I can just keep moving. Just get up and go. Okay.
Bertha Musoni: Like a new lease on life. yeah yes like ah So you are another person. So Richard did get another one He got a Pearl 2.0, feel.
Pearl: Hey, at 50, right?
Bertha Musoni: At 50, he got a Pearl 2.0, and I love that for you. Absolutely love it for you.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: So what are you looking forward to with this big age? because So 50, before you tell me what you're looking forward to, For me, with the reason why I decided to do this podcast and I'm asking for people for 50 is because 50 seems like such a definitive age.
Bertha Musoni: You know, when people think about living, people always round life to like 100 years.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: So 50 seems like a halfway point. Does that feel that way to you? How do you feel like in your family? and know your mom is still living.
Bertha Musoni: Are you the new adults? How does that feel stepping into those roles?
Pearl: Yes.
Pearl: Wow. We are the new adults. but
Bertha Musoni: I know, right? That is so crazy.
Pearl: But Bertha, you know what I feel? I feel for us coming to the diaspora, you know, it's like we were forced to become adults maybe quicker than we would have if we were still at home because we would have our parents still doing certain things, going to certain gatherings, you know. But when you are out here, it's like because you're, you know,
Pearl: family is is really not there. There's certain things that you have to face, you have to deal with by yourself.
Bertha Musoni: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Pearl: Just for example, raising your own child, like coming from the hospital with your own child that you are not going to have hand over to your mama, you know?
Bertha Musoni: Mm-hmm.
Pearl: um You know, yeah.
Bertha Musoni: Oh, the maid.
Pearl: So it's, you know, coming out here has, I think in a way made us grow faster than maybe we would have um back home, you know, I feel.
Pearl: That's the...
Bertha Musoni: i Yeah, I agree with that.
Pearl: what What do you think?
Bertha Musoni: But well, so for me, the new adult thing, I definitely agree with with that take on the fact that we we did grow up, because if we were home,
Pearl: What do you think?
Bertha Musoni: we wouldn't have left home until possibly going into your marriage home, like formerly left home. Like even you being in Victoria Falls was a bit unusual from a traditional Zimbabwean household, right?
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: But at the same time, our parents were willing to have us go thousands of miles away.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: And so because of that, we did grow earlier, but like in my family right now on my dad's side, my father and all his siblings are gone.
Bertha Musoni: So we are that next generation of elders in the family.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: And it's it's daunting when it hits you.
Pearl: Yep.
Bertha Musoni: When it hits you and, you know, things are happening and they're looking to you. for those familial decisions. And again, it I guess it depends on the family makeup and things like that.
Bertha Musoni: But that to me has been daunting. That realization of, wait, this next generation is now looking to us.
Pearl: I hear you.
Pearl: Oh my goodness. Actually, yeah, yeah. I hear you. I hear you.
Bertha Musoni: That has been the daunting thing.
Pearl: Because I think in in my family in in my family as well, just to to say even though people are spread out and we are like not in one place but we still have you know we are the next generation we are the generation you know um yeah we are we still have a few well at least um for me i still have a few uncles my mom is is there that's on my mom's side of the family
Bertha Musoni: Mm-hmm.
Bertha Musoni: We are the generation we've tagged in.
Pearl: but really i i guess we are there with them we are there with them so this is the time where the ones that are there really should be passing the baton to the next like this is how we do it this is how it's solved this is how it's done even though we are all in different places the uk south africa us wherever people are but
Bertha Musoni: Right.
Bertha Musoni: Mm hmm.
Pearl: um And maybe those are discussions that are not had. And that's why it's kind of daunting. You know what I'm saying? i don't know whether there should be some, I don't know whether succession discussions or whatever. I don't know.
Pearl: But it's just about just family and how to, you know, raise family, how to, you know, conflict, how you solve conflict between the the the larger family, you know, things like that.
Bertha Musoni: Right. Within within the family, right? Right.
Pearl: Yeah. ah Processes, you know, yeah. I don't know.
Bertha Musoni: It's been it's been that just that realization.
Pearl: But we are the adults. Yeah, yeah. Because do you know what?
Bertha Musoni: Yeah.
Pearl: Our parents were actually adulting way, way before us.
Bertha Musoni: Yes. Before us.
Pearl: when they were like in their 30s and we thought they were already in their 50s, I'm telling you, they were running around, going to funerals, doing things, planning things.
Bertha Musoni: Yeah. yeah Yeah. ah To me, yeah.
Bertha Musoni: Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Pearl: And
Bertha Musoni: Being the ones to say, you need to plan this gathering for all these people. It's insane.
Pearl: that's true. That's true.
Bertha Musoni: The thing for me, and I think this came first dawned on me when I turned, think when I turned 35, And then last year when I turned 49 too, it kind of dawned on me.
Bertha Musoni: My mom's siblings, my aunt who I lived with for lived for a little while in my third grade, she passed away I think at 37 or 38.
Bertha Musoni: and her And her two brothers, the brother she comes after and the brother comes after her, none of those three saw the age of 40. Right. But when my aunt died, my aunt died in 1995. I remember that so well, because I was here, i was in college, I just gotten here.
Bertha Musoni: And I remember thinking, wow she has lived such a great life.
Bertha Musoni: But this was about 36, I think 36 37.
Pearl: And how old was she?
Bertha Musoni: I can't remember.
Pearl: Whoa. She was young.
Bertha Musoni: Right. But that did not hit me until I hit that age. Or around that age, like, wait a minute. I don't want to die. i haven't lived yet.
Pearl: yeah. yeah
Bertha Musoni: i have not lived yet. Like, so what what did I mean when I said she has lived a great life? Like, what did I mean by that?
Pearl: I think maybe, you know, when we were younger, obviously, just looking at our parents or the adults that were ahead of us, we already thought they looked, I don't know, not not that they looked a certain way, but in the eyes of a 12-year-old, your parents, which right now, sometimes you may think, oh, am I a co-parent?
Bertha Musoni: here
Pearl: What do my kids, and they already think, my mama looks like she's in her 60s or whatever.
Bertha Musoni: Right?
Pearl: I don't know. It's about maybe the age. Our parents were probably younger, much younger than the the ages that we thought they were ah back then.
Bertha Musoni: Right. Right. Right.
Pearl: Yeah, so...
Bertha Musoni: I definitely agree. Well, tell me What are you most thankful for about this age? Or what is your the greatest feeling about this big age?
Pearl: Oh my goodness, Bertha. My biggest feeling is is is gratefulness, gratitude, really.
Bertha Musoni: Hmm.
Pearl: It's gratitude to turn 50, to be still in the land of the living at 50. I'm just so thankful to God, you know, just as we we talked about earlier, leaving Zimbabwe at a young age.
Pearl: And, you know, I feel, um I know when I was younger, I was a sickly child. I had a few stints in the hospital where, you know, um i would be in and then out of the hospital with appendicitis or something else has come up, you know. And when I left the country, I remember even my dad saying, oh Pearl, is this Is it okay for you to leave the country with the issues that you've had?
Bertha Musoni: you
Pearl: But you know what? Here I am, 50, lived through COVID and we are both on the other side, not because we washed our hands or we washed all our groceries as soon as we got in, you know, or sanitized the most or whatever, but it's just the grace of God that, you know, I'm 50, you are 49, almost 50, and gonna be 50 soon, but it's just, I'm just grateful.
Bertha Musoni: Great.
Pearl: I'm grateful to God, so... um I don't look at anything materially to be like, oh, I want to have achieved this by the when i was when I was younger. i probably did.
Pearl: Like, oh, I want to have achieved this at 50 and do this and this.
Bertha Musoni: right eight
Pearl: But right now when I'm in 50 and having entered 50, I'm just so grateful for life and I'm just grateful for health. And I'm just, yeah, eternally grateful to the Lord.
Pearl: So, yeah, that's my, yeah.
Bertha Musoni: I think that's growth right there. That really is the real growth when you're no longer chasing the material things and you're chasing, it's almost like how people are saying, you know, I don't take my kids, I don't buy my kids stuff.
Pearl: Mm-hmm.
Pearl: Yeah.
Bertha Musoni: I i build memories and experiences.
Pearl: Yep.
Bertha Musoni: Like that's what's more important for you to, you remember a feeling for longer when that item is gone.
Pearl: Yeah.
Pearl: That's true. That's true.
Bertha Musoni: So it's, it's, I think that's where the real growth is. Well, before we wrap up Pearl, what would you tell your 20 year old self?
Pearl: Okay, 20-year-old. I already see that 20-year-old that was working in... um Actually, I think I left home when I was 20. Got on that um Greyhound bus and went into the town of Victoria Falls.
Bertha Musoni: ah how
Pearl: But I think what I would say to my 20-year-old is um not to be afraid, really.
Bertha Musoni: Try.
Pearl: because there's so many things that we were afraid of or back then. Really, I think that would be what I can tell my 20-year-old self. Like, don't be afraid.
Pearl: Try, you fail, get back up on the saddle.
Bertha Musoni: and
Bertha Musoni: try
Pearl: Do not be afraid. And, you know, obviously I can tell that to my 20-year-old self, but I try, to tell that to my my kids that are growing up, you know, don't be afraid.
Bertha Musoni: Yes. Mm-hmm. Sure.
Pearl: Even if you fail, you can get up and do it. You guys are young, you know, whether it's in education, it's it's it's getting out of the town or getting out of your familiar surroundings, trying something new.
Pearl: Don't be afraid to do it, you know, just do it. But, you know, I can try and say that, but I've always said every everyone lives their own, every everyone is on their own journey.
Pearl: And no matter what you can try and tell them, maybe, you know, i don't know, they have to live their journey and maybe get to 25 and they look back like, oh, you know what?
Pearl: Yeah, mom's right. Shouldn't be afraid.
Bertha Musoni: Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
Pearl: Yeah, so, but I've tried to to, you know, get that into my kids, like, don't be afraid. And, you know, being afraid as a person that is ah follower of Christ, it's faith, right?
Bertha Musoni: eight Right, right.
Pearl: it's It's like, have faith, have faith.
Bertha Musoni: It doesn't align with faith.
Pearl: It aligns with faith, so I would tell that to my 20-year-old self, you know, whatever you want to do, you know what, have faith, have faith.
Bertha Musoni: Yes.
Pearl: and fee
Bertha Musoni: I like that. I like that. Well, thank you so much, Pearl, for gracing us with your presence and sharing your journey to 50 with us. I am all for celebrating all year.
Bertha Musoni: I don't turn 50 until October, but I have pretty much been celebrating since January.
Pearl: Yay.
Pearl: Oh my goodness.
Bertha Musoni: So you and I are on the same tip. um I am definitely, i i don't know, for me, 50 is just, I've just been excited about it.
Pearl: Yes.
Bertha Musoni: So it's really nice.
Pearl: I can't wait for your 50th birthday.
Bertha Musoni: Yes,
Pearl: I can't wait because I've known you've been celebrating since the beginning, you know, of the year. You and other friend another friend of mine.
Bertha Musoni: and um yes we have. Yes, we
Pearl: I'm like, let that 50 come on, please come 50 for birth.
Bertha Musoni: Listen, we're both October babies and we are going to just do something. So definitely excited to to learn about your journey. And, you know, this is what this show is about for people to come and share their journey to 50.
Bertha Musoni: So thank you so much for sharing with us today.
Pearl: Thank you, Bertha. This was amazing and You took me down memory lane. Thank you so much. I love that.
Bertha Musoni: ah That's part of the journey, but yes. So if you want to come on and share your journey, tell us how your journey to 50 is. Definitely make sure you get in touch and you can listen to this podcast on any of the platforms that you listen to currently.
Bertha Musoni: on Spotify and on Spotify, as well as um Apple podcast. And I do also have a link on Facebook. But with that, to have a great day, everybody. Thank you.
