Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Episode 3 - Pearl Ncube Chingombe
16 Plays2 months ago
Fifty and absolutely thriving! Pearl, a vibrant soul originally from Bulawayo, Zimbabwe, now residing in North Carolina. She wears many hats - devoted mom, loving wife, cherished sister, loyal friend, and an enthusiastic foodie! But above all, Pearl is a follower and lover of Christ who believes that " faith is the foundation of my life, guiding me through each day and inspiring the way I live and love those around me."
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to the Podcast
00:00:00
Bertha Musoni
Hello everyone, welcome to the third episode of Journey from 1975 2025.
00:00:11
Pearl
you
00:00:11
Bertha Musoni
For those of you who here, that means this is a journey to fifty this is ah This is a podcast that really talks to people who are turning this big age this year, like myself.
00:00:27
Bertha Musoni
That's why it is just for people who were born in 1975, at least hearing from people born in 1975. And they're going to share with us what their experiences have been, what what bridges they've crossed, and how they feel about this big age.
00:00:46
Bertha Musoni
um Are they scared? Are they happy? are they fulfilled? Or what what exactly is coming in that next chapter for them?
Meet Pearl Chingomba
00:00:55
Bertha Musoni
So today i have a dear friend of mine, Pearl Chingomba, who lives in North Carolina.
00:01:03
Bertha Musoni
And I've known Pearl since what Pearl? High school?
00:01:08
Pearl
Yes, high school.
00:01:09
Bertha Musoni
since high school. So we have known each other for quite some time, just like one of my previous guests, it has been through our formative years to today. So welcome, Pearl. Welcome.
00:01:21
Pearl
Thank you, Bertha. Thank you Thanks for having me.
00:01:25
Bertha Musoni
Now, thank you for agreeing to come and sharing with us about your journey to 50.
Celebrating 50: Reflections and Plans
00:01:31
Bertha Musoni
So you are already there.
00:01:34
Pearl
Yep, I turned 50 in March.
00:01:36
Bertha Musoni
Well, happy happy belated birthday to you. And I can't wait to celebrate. Whenever we see each other one of these fine days, we will definitely celebrate.
00:01:43
Pearl
Thank you
00:01:45
Bertha Musoni
So how did you bring in 50? Tell me about that.
00:01:50
Pearl
You know what? I think, you know, before the age comes, like before the birthday, the big 50th birthday, you have ideas, you are planning years like, oh, on my 50th, I'm going to do this.
00:02:03
Pearl
I'm going to do this. But it was actually more chilled than i actually thought it would be.
00:02:11
Bertha Musoni
Don't tell me that mine is yet to come.
00:02:11
Pearl
um
00:02:12
Bertha Musoni
Don't say that.
00:02:13
Pearl
what Well, no, you can go ahead and do some big stuff. I did some big stuff around it, but it was not a party.
00:02:18
Bertha Musoni
Uh
00:02:22
Pearl
It was, you know, just getting away with my family.
00:02:22
Bertha Musoni
huh.
00:02:26
Pearl
We went to um an amazing lake house for like just a four day getaway.
00:02:31
Bertha Musoni
Nice.
00:02:34
Pearl
And that was the best time. thing I could have done. It just beats the lights of a party or anything like that.
00:02:44
Pearl
it was just an amazing time with my family. And I just love that there was just the four of us. i have, um you know, my other daughter wasn't able to come, but that was one of the most beautiful times that I've spent with my family.
00:03:01
Pearl
It was amazing. And I don't think I would change it for anything, um but I have something that's planned in September.
00:03:08
Bertha Musoni
Oh, it
00:03:10
Pearl
So I'm celebrating the whole year, like the whole of 2025.
00:03:13
Bertha Musoni
that's the attitude right there because hey, we're turning 50.
00:03:15
Pearl
Yeah, so yeah
00:03:18
Bertha Musoni
Nice.
00:03:20
Pearl
so i'm I'm still taking gifts right now, so you can keep them coming. So in September, I'm having a girls trip.
00:03:26
Bertha Musoni
nine
00:03:27
Pearl
And, you know, yeah, that's going to be i'm still within the US in Sedona, Arizona. So I'm looking forward to celebrating with my friends. But I had something special with my family and I love that.
00:03:41
Bertha Musoni
That is amazing. That, you know, it's always nice when when you do something that is not what you expected, and yet it turns out amazing. I think that's um one of the things that I've appreciated with with just getting older.
00:03:56
Pearl
Yeah.
00:03:57
Bertha Musoni
You know, not look not not always looking forward for the flash and the bang and everything. Just simple, nice silence is a beautiful thing.
00:04:05
Pearl
It was amazing. And I just kept saying, you know, talking to God about it, like, Lord, I couldn't have curated such a beautiful weekend like this.
00:04:15
Pearl
You are the one that made everything happen the way it did, you know?
00:04:17
Bertha Musoni
yeah
00:04:20
Pearl
So yeah, yeah, that was just a beautiful time.
00:04:24
Bertha Musoni
That's amazing the way you were meant to celebrate.
Family Dynamics and Changes
00:04:27
Bertha Musoni
So your family, I know you said you had, there were four of you, but you mentioned you have another daughter. So you have three girls, right?
00:04:35
Pearl
Yes, I do.
00:04:36
Bertha Musoni
And your husband, how how is that? how How has being a mom, how old are they?
00:04:43
Pearl
I have a 24-year-old. She's out of the house now. And in the home, I have a 17-year-old. Oh, actually, no not 17. Wow. She's 18 and 18.
00:04:54
Pearl
<unk> eighteen
00:04:55
Bertha Musoni
better get that right, mom.
00:04:55
Pearl
when Yes, she she's 18, turning 19, and then I have a 16-year-old soon to be turning 17.
00:05:02
Bertha Musoni
Oh, wow.
00:05:04
Pearl
So, yeah, we're getting there.
00:05:07
Bertha Musoni
Oh, wow. Well, I'm an empty nester, so i I can tell you what to look forward to. And you're almost there. You're almost there.
00:05:14
Pearl
I'm almost there, and I'm not looking forward to it. I'm like, oh, my goodness, I want to cry already. Yeah.
00:05:18
Bertha Musoni
What? No, no, no, no, no. you This is going to be the fun side of turning 50, in my opinion.
00:05:27
Pearl
and Okay.
00:05:27
Bertha Musoni
I've been an empty nester for several years. My son is 20. He just turned 28 last week, actually.
00:05:33
Pearl
Okay.
00:05:34
Bertha Musoni
And so I've been an empty nester for some time. And i At first, I didn't know how to function without having to rush for sports, rush for this or worry about this.
00:05:47
Bertha Musoni
But I think I've kept faith in the fact that I raised and an adult, not a child.
00:05:56
Pearl
I hear you.
00:05:56
Bertha Musoni
And I think that's one thing within the mindset that, you know, as a parent, I think being able to accept that has actually helped me. in not wanting to hold on to my child, but understanding that I've raised an adult and he's a functioning adult.
00:06:14
Pearl
I love that.
00:06:15
Bertha Musoni
So,
00:06:16
Pearl
i love that.
00:06:17
Bertha Musoni
Yeah.
00:06:18
Pearl
I can already see, you know, um my kids already, you know, they're still here, but they're not needing me as much. Like for an example, my youngest dancer, she's a dancer and she goes to the studio.
00:06:27
Bertha Musoni
yeah
00:06:36
Pearl
She is so busy with her dance schedule. So there's a time not long ago,
00:06:38
Bertha Musoni
Right. Yes.
00:06:42
Pearl
I was up and down, dropping her off, picking her up. You know, now who's going to do this between the three of us? But now she just got her license like a couple of months ago.
00:06:54
Pearl
So now she's driving by herself. So she just comes in, goes in by herself. So, you know, those little things, it's like they're growing out of the nest, soon to be flying.
00:07:06
Pearl
It's coming, it's coming.
00:07:07
Bertha Musoni
yeah
00:07:08
Pearl
So, yeah, they they don't need you as much. to be hovering around, dropping off and making lunches and stuff like that. So yeah.
00:07:19
Bertha Musoni
And parenting is crazy because you have to you have to give them the bandwidth, right?
00:07:20
Pearl
Yep.
00:07:25
Bertha Musoni
The space in order for you to be able to show that you trust them. But at the same time, you want to jump in and save them.
00:07:31
Pearl
yeah
00:07:32
Bertha Musoni
But in order for them to grow, you kind of just have to give them the birth and trust yourself because you've put in the work to get them here.
00:07:38
Pearl
I sure did. i know I did.
00:07:40
Bertha Musoni
you
00:07:40
Pearl
Wow.
00:07:43
Bertha Musoni
You put in the work to get them here. So with, you know, with raising kids, you and I both grew up in Zimbabwe.
Cultural and Environmental Differences
00:07:50
Bertha Musoni
And i always reflect that our 50 is not our parents 50.
00:07:56
Pearl
wow
00:07:57
Bertha Musoni
We also are raising kids in a totally different environment than the one that we grew up in How was that for you bridging that?
00:08:07
Pearl
Oh, you just said it there, you know, that it's a different environment. um You know, we grew up when the world was, you know, was a small place.
00:08:20
Bertha Musoni
Thank you.
00:08:20
Pearl
Now when our kids grow up, the world is like open to them. They already, you know, know what's happening in other places, you know, with social media, with cell phones, we we kind of grew up differently. And, and and you know, that, you know, the I would say the more traditional way, you know,
00:08:45
Pearl
So I think I just try to balance it, you know, with just the way I was raised, some of the foundations of the way I was raised and the way this generation is being raised, you know, so it it's kind of different.
00:08:54
Bertha Musoni
Right.
00:09:02
Pearl
There's still some things that I still incorporate um with the way that I was raised, where I'm like, you know what, this was not bad. Whether, you know, i hate to talk about this, but, you know,
00:09:14
Bertha Musoni
Mm-hmm.
00:09:15
Pearl
when I talk about spanking, when my kids were younger, I used to spank my kids.
00:09:18
Bertha Musoni
right
00:09:21
Pearl
Um, and that's kind of how I grew up. Actually, we used to call it ah hiding, you know, you are bad.
00:09:27
Bertha Musoni
Hiding, yes. yeah
00:09:29
Pearl
You would get a hiding, you know?
00:09:31
Bertha Musoni
Yes. Get your own hiding apparatus.
00:09:32
Pearl
yeah
00:09:35
Pearl
Yes. Yes. So, um,
00:09:37
Bertha Musoni
Go pick your own building.
00:09:39
Pearl
And that's the way we were raised. And I wouldn't even take any of that back to say I grew up in an era, you know, I would say we we grew up in an era where we were like free range kids.
00:09:52
Bertha Musoni
Right. Yep, yep.
00:09:53
Pearl
You know, you would go where you go, come back at, well, not whatever time, because you still get that hiding, right?
00:09:59
Bertha Musoni
the light the lights the lights were the compass of the street lights
00:10:01
Pearl
But yes, you come back before the lights, you know, went on. and stuff like that. But we had a chance to play outside. We had a chance to just, you know, have so much adventure in our lives.
00:10:18
Pearl
And when I just look at myself raising my kids here, and especially here in the US, you know, it's different. Sometimes I wish they would get down and dirty and, you know,
00:10:31
Bertha Musoni
Right.
00:10:31
Pearl
Actually, we actually had a chance to live in Zimbabwe for a few years, um you know, a few years ago, it's about maybe 15 or so years ago.
00:10:31
Bertha Musoni
Experience, yeah.
00:10:38
Bertha Musoni
right
00:10:45
Pearl
So they had part of that Zim upbringing where it takes a village to raise the kids, you know, whether it's someone that's like, okay,
00:10:49
Bertha Musoni
mar c
00:10:57
Pearl
that's not right, child. Don't speak to your mom like that, you know, kind of thing.
00:11:00
Bertha Musoni
Yeah. Yes.
00:11:01
Pearl
They had a chance to be outside to make mud cakes, you know, things that we grew up making.
00:11:06
Bertha Musoni
yeah
00:11:09
Pearl
But it's it's just a different time now, how you we where we have to raise kids. We have to be careful what we say. You know, we're dealing with things like anxiety, depression.
00:11:21
Pearl
Not that those things weren't there back then when we grew up, but, you know, they really weren't prevalent or you had no chance to to be bringing them up.
00:11:32
Bertha Musoni
focus on that.
00:11:33
Pearl
No, no, no one was going to listen to you, okay?
00:11:35
Bertha Musoni
focus at
00:11:37
Pearl
You just had to get in line.
00:11:37
Bertha Musoni
nobody was going to yeah You need to do what needs to be done. This is what needs to be done. Get it done.
00:11:43
Pearl
Hey.
00:11:43
Bertha Musoni
yeah i Dare I say, i almost want to say, and and our parents, it was kind of, I want to, the thing that keeps coming through my head is our parents had it a little easier.
00:11:54
Bertha Musoni
But then I think, no, they didn't.
00:11:56
Pearl
Mm-hmm.
00:11:57
Bertha Musoni
Because we were also that early generation of them with integration after independence and things like that. So because we started grade one in 81 is when we started grade one.
00:12:07
Pearl
Yeah. Exactly.
00:12:10
Bertha Musoni
that was right after independence. So that's them now navigating that new world of wanting what's best for their kids and now navigating into this this other world that they never knew. So part of me wants to say, yeah, they had it easy, but they didn't.
00:12:29
Pearl
they did they They did not.
00:12:31
Bertha Musoni
They did not have it easy.
00:12:31
Pearl
They did not.
00:12:32
Bertha Musoni
they they They had their own challenges. And I think for us as parents, being in this new world as well, right, navigating, trying to blend our traditional, just like they were, i would almost say we are almost the same as them in a way.
00:12:39
Pearl
Yeah.
00:12:50
Pearl
Yeah, yeah. um You know, when you asked that question, it's funny, something came up in my mind.
00:12:56
Bertha Musoni
Uh-huh..
00:12:57
Pearl
Just I think yesterday, I think it was yesterday, i was looking for um some teaspoons. I couldn't find ah teaspoon. You know, i was like, okay, where are the teaspoons in this house?
00:13:09
Pearl
But... um So it reminded me of an incident where i had, you know, like when the way we grew up, you know, there was always that display where our parents would have these special plates, special glasses and everything.
00:13:24
Bertha Musoni
and so
00:13:26
Pearl
I don't know what it's called now, what people really call it.
00:13:29
Bertha Musoni
in the special cabinet, in the curio.
00:13:29
Pearl
You know how we'd get a cabinet and we would call it a display.
00:13:32
Bertha Musoni
Uh-huh.
00:13:35
Pearl
um So when I was raising my family, as I'm raising my family, I'm like, okay, I don't want to have any special plates, kids.
00:13:42
Bertha Musoni
Uh-huh.
00:13:42
Pearl
You just wear your clothes when you want to wear your clothes. There's nothing special about these glasses or anything. Just use what you can in the house. So, you know, they use stuff.
00:13:53
Pearl
And then some weekend, I think it was a weekend, I was having... um I was entertaining some guests from church, some friends from church. There was quite a ah few of them. I think maybe we were like eight or 10 or something like that.
00:14:09
Pearl
So, and I was formally setting the table. So I started to look for glasses. Bertha, if I can tell you, I could not. I was finding one glass under the bed with some stuck on syrup, one short glass here, one tall glass here, know,
00:14:28
Bertha Musoni
the others were broken, the whole set was broken, so you didn't have a set.
00:14:30
Pearl
They were broken and I didn't have a set. And you know what I did? What I had a set of was some wine glasses that were all the same.
00:14:40
Pearl
So I ended up serving them, you know, setting the table and putting wine glasses.
00:14:45
Bertha Musoni
Oh my gosh.
00:14:45
Pearl
And, you know, I'm sure they thought, oh, fancy, we having some Sprite in wine glasses.
00:14:49
Bertha Musoni
Nancy, no, no. You just understood in that moment.
00:14:52
Pearl
But it was, yeah, it was because I could not find. And i was like, I said to myself, no wonder.
00:15:00
Bertha Musoni
This is why.
00:15:00
Pearl
my mom or our moms used to put away special things because here I am saying, have at it, use it.
00:15:07
Bertha Musoni
funny.
00:15:10
Pearl
And I cannot find two glasses that match.
00:15:10
Bertha Musoni
That's funny.
00:15:14
Pearl
It's crazy. So I was like, you know, that's why i just feel there's things that they did back then that, you know, I think were good.
00:15:20
Bertha Musoni
who
00:15:25
Bertha Musoni
yeah and we totally disregarded them we're like you're gonna die and not even be able to use your stuff like those are the comments that you hear like oh my gosh you're gonna die because of that special curio and nobody's ever gonna use it better but you know look at you now out here looking for glass a water glass
00:15:29
Pearl
Yay. Hey.
00:15:35
Pearl
Oh my goodness, brother.
00:15:41
Pearl
Hey, and I haven't told my mom that story. Really, I should. And my mom would be like, yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah yeah That's why we did it because, you know, it was more expensive for them.
00:15:49
Bertha Musoni
That is hilarious.
00:15:53
Pearl
Now for us, it's like I'm looking for teaspoons. I can go to Amazon and buy a set for $9.99, know.
00:16:00
Bertha Musoni
They're delivered by time by time you want your dinner to be done.
00:16:03
Pearl
Hey, hey, yeah. So that's something.
00:16:06
Bertha Musoni
Now that convenience is definitely, definitely something. I know we talk about growing up in Zimbabwe, but you know, leaving home and making that big jump. How was that for you?
Adapting to Life in the US
00:16:20
Pearl
Wow. um who So many things to say there. Just making that big jump to here. um i can say maybe for me, I was already living alone away from home in a different, um you know, um part of the country. I was living, you know, Zimbabwe.
00:16:42
Pearl
I was living in Victoria Falls. So I was living there as a young adult. And, you know, so Really coming overseas wasn't that bad, except that, you know, just missing the family, my friends, at least at that time, I was able, when I was back home, I was able to go back home maybe once a month.
00:16:58
Bertha Musoni
Mm-hmm.
00:17:04
Pearl
But once I came here, it was like, Yeah, I'm far away. You miss your family. You miss your friends. I actually wanted to go back so many times. And I remember, i don't know whether it was my mom or my dad was saying, oh, you know, you've already left.
00:17:23
Pearl
because I just felt things were just going without me. I was just missing out. I was one of the first to leave out of my um group of friends.
00:17:32
Bertha Musoni
Yeah.
00:17:33
Pearl
um So the ones that I left back there, it was like I just felt I was just missing out. And here I was in America. The social life is not the same as back home.
00:17:44
Pearl
So I think there's times where I felt I wanted to leave and slowly, kind of got to hear that some of my other friends were actually leaving, maybe going to different parts of the world. i was like, okay.
00:17:57
Pearl
But, you know, just as an immigrant, it's like, it's not easy the first few years, you know, you you struggle, you know, to kind of get your footing and eventually you do.
00:18:09
Pearl
And, you know, i think everyone has, as an immigrant, I feel had their struggles in coming into a new country, um you know, unless you land with maybe someone that's your family, like maybe your mom, I would say, if you're coming to live with your mom, maybe the struggles aren't going to be as much as a person coming to live with maybe friends or maybe, say, relatives.
00:18:24
Bertha Musoni
Great. Great. Great.
00:18:36
Pearl
It's different. Yeah.
00:18:37
Bertha Musoni
but just coming to school yeah no i i can definitely say i i understand that i was fortunate like my my uncle and his family lived in chicago so i came to them um even though i had never met my uncle because my uncle came and he stayed here and he never came back home but it was a much easier transition knowing i was coming to family
00:18:38
Pearl
There's always that struggle. Yeah. Yeah.
00:18:45
Pearl
Mm-hmm.
00:18:52
Pearl
Okay. Wow.
00:19:02
Pearl
Okay.
00:19:03
Bertha Musoni
So that made it a tad bit easy, but that journey, like learning, fight but well, for you, probably finances wasn't so bad since you had been in Victoria Falls on your own.
00:19:15
Bertha Musoni
So you had navigated that, you know, being able to figure out your finances, making sure that things are are are enough and earning and, you know, paying that kind of thing.
00:19:27
Bertha Musoni
How have you, as your life has gone, How have you grown and matured and be able to get to a point like this point in your life? Do you feel like you're still, you still have more to do or with the kids getting ready through that empty nesting part of things, are you now kind of smooth sailing with just you and Richard?
00:19:52
Pearl
Um, do I have a lot?
00:19:55
Bertha Musoni
Oh, you still have college to pay for. Oh, I forgot.
00:19:57
Pearl
Uh-huh, girl. Hey, hey, hey. There's always a lot to do, brother. There's always a lot to do.
00:20:05
Bertha Musoni
Okay. Mm-hmm.
00:20:08
Pearl
You're 50, but you know what? There's many years, many more years to come. But I guess looking forward to college, um, You know, it definitely makes it better when you're on this journey with um someone else, you know, when you're not alone and you're not having to be the one that's coming up with all resources and, you know, just running the household. So it's always better when you have someone else. And by the way, I really forgot your question right now.
00:20:43
Pearl
ah You were saying what, Bertha?
00:20:48
Bertha Musoni
it was It was a pretty long-winded question, but it just made me, when you talked about you know having somebody else to make decisions with, how long have you and Richard been together?
00:20:58
Pearl
Wow, since 2000. I think i came to this country in So i made him in two thousand so yeah it's been a long time
00:21:13
Bertha Musoni
wow.
00:21:13
Pearl
um half my half my life right
00:21:14
Bertha Musoni
Half your life. Like, wait a minute, that's 25 years.
00:21:16
Pearl
yeah
00:21:17
Bertha Musoni
thoses
00:21:17
Pearl
Yeah, before I was, yeah, so he's been there through, yeah, through it all, through it all, through through everything.
00:21:18
Bertha Musoni
Oh,
00:21:24
Bertha Musoni
through overgrowth.
00:21:26
Pearl
It's funny, through the hairstyles, through everything, through, yeah, yeah, he's been.
00:21:32
Bertha Musoni
Well, talking about hairstyles, I know you did something, some would consider it extreme, but I wouldn't describe it as extreme.
Embracing Change at 50
00:21:43
Bertha Musoni
I would describe it as almost like you coming into being. You want to share what you did?
00:21:51
Pearl
I love that. i love that. but This is like coming into your being. and and And that is true because I think at this age, um you know, you are wiser.
00:21:54
Bertha Musoni
Yes. Yes. Coming into
00:22:02
Pearl
You come into yourself. You are more comfortable with who you are. um And so i guess you asked me earlier how I celebrated. And I think this is something that was something that I just did out of the blue.
00:22:18
Pearl
I'll take it as one of the celebration kind of thing, instead of jumping out of a plane or going on some hike, a mountain that I could never.
00:22:21
Bertha Musoni
Yes.
00:22:30
Pearl
But I decided to cut my hair, short and diet blonde so um I guess somewhere I've always had a blonde ambition but yeah yeah so I am a blonde girl with dark skin and yeah brown eyes and I'm rocking I'm rocking it and I'm loving it
00:22:41
Bertha Musoni
I love it.
00:22:48
Bertha Musoni
I love that for you. And you are. And you are. Like the day you sent me the picture, i was like, but you there's just you seem efferial.
00:23:01
Bertha Musoni
Like there's something just about you that just sort of this light that just surrounds you with that style. And you just look amazing. I love that for you.
00:23:08
Pearl
Thank you. Thank you, Bertha. Yeah, it's been a few months now.
00:23:10
Bertha Musoni
And you had never colored your hair, right?
00:23:12
Pearl
You said what?
00:23:13
Bertha Musoni
You had never colored your hair that extreme day.
00:23:15
Pearl
i had never colored my hair. i actually went to the hairdresser and I was just um telling her that, okay, next month I'll be turning 50 and I want to do something different.
00:23:16
Bertha Musoni
and
00:23:25
Pearl
And so this was in February. She was like, you know what, Pearl, I have seen it. When people have a chance to think about what they want, they usually never get that hairstyle.
00:23:30
Bertha Musoni
three
00:23:36
Pearl
So If you want to do it, you have to do it right now. And it's funny, she had already mixed the the cream to put on my hair. And she was like, okay, you need to make that decision now because next month, you're not going to be feeling the way you're feeling right now in that chair.
00:23:54
Bertha Musoni
Right, right.
00:23:55
Pearl
So I just took a few seconds. She was like, okay, tell me before. Okay. And I, and she had the scissors too. Yeah. I was like, okay, go for it. As soon as I said that, she had, I just saw a chunk of hair on the floor.
00:24:11
Bertha Musoni
I love that for you.
00:24:11
Pearl
It was too late to go back.
00:24:13
Bertha Musoni
i love that for you.
00:24:14
Pearl
It was too late, Bertha. And I was like, okay, girl, just do it, do it. And yeah, I walked out and I didn't exactly love it the first time, but I think What happens is the next time when I went, I went back after a few days, I was like, okay, this color, I don't think it's exactly the blonde that I wanted.
00:24:31
Bertha Musoni
ah
00:24:35
Pearl
So she redid it and you know what? I'm loving it now. Yeah.
00:24:41
Bertha Musoni
And I love I love you in it.
00:24:42
Pearl
Thank you. Thank you.
00:24:43
Bertha Musoni
How did your family take it?
00:24:45
Pearl
Hey, my family, and there were shocks.
00:24:46
Bertha Musoni
Was there a shock factor? Like, happened here?
00:24:48
Pearl
So the people, So, betha the people that I thought were going to love it, who are the kids? I thought they'll be like, mommy, this is, wow, this is, you know, the words that they use.
00:24:54
Bertha Musoni
Uh huh.
00:24:59
Pearl
I forgot.
00:25:00
Bertha Musoni
Yes, this is awesome.
00:25:00
Pearl
This is, yeah.
00:25:02
Bertha Musoni
so This is what you know, whatever they're gonna say.
00:25:02
Pearl
yeah Yeah. This is fire. This is on fire.
00:25:06
Bertha Musoni
ah yeah
00:25:08
Pearl
Yeah. Yeah. Like, that's what I thought. but no. They were just so shocked beyond. They were speechless. But one person that loved it from the get-go was my husband.
00:25:20
Pearl
And that's the person I thought maybe would not like it.
00:25:25
Bertha Musoni
You got opposite but opposite reactions.
00:25:26
Pearl
Yeah. So it was quite the opposite. And when I told him that first day when I came that, oh, it actually didn't come out the color that I wanted, he was like, no, it's perfect.
00:25:37
Pearl
Don't go and change it. And then the kids, after maybe a week, they were like, okay, mommy, I think I'm warming up to this. I think ah think I was like, girls, I thought you were the ones that were going to be like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:25:50
Bertha Musoni
Yes, Bob, you did it.
00:25:52
Pearl
Yeah.
00:25:52
Bertha Musoni
good
00:25:53
Pearl
Yeah.
00:25:53
Bertha Musoni
No. So that right there is the supportive partner, right?
00:25:58
Pearl
Yeah.
00:25:58
Bertha Musoni
that's that That's what you just saw. Like when you were talking about the burden of not making decisions on your own, Richard gave it to you right there because that's the support.
00:26:05
Pearl
yeah yeah
00:26:07
Bertha Musoni
The girls, I think, who were cautious. They were like, hmm, if she doesn't like this, no,
00:26:11
Pearl
I'm like, that's not the age of being cautious. I'm like, that's not the age of being cautious. I thought they would be like, and then Richard over 50 would be more cautious.
00:26:21
Bertha Musoni
No, no, no, no, no. The girl's cautious was more like she could be going through something. And when she comes out on the other side, this is going to come on us.
00:26:33
Bertha Musoni
ah So let us be cautiously optimistic.
00:26:37
Pearl
Oh my goodness.
00:26:38
Bertha Musoni
a I think that's how the girls were looking at approaching this.
00:26:38
Pearl
I like this.
00:26:43
Bertha Musoni
Richard, on the other hand, was also like, if I say I don't like it, I need to, that's that's the support.
00:26:48
Pearl
and here
00:26:52
Pearl
Yeah, and you know what?
00:26:53
Bertha Musoni
Boost her up.
00:26:54
Pearl
I think with Richard, he he he just got a totally different wife with the with the with the new hair color.
00:26:59
Bertha Musoni
Oh, I love it.
00:27:01
Pearl
Like, okay, this is a different pearl.
00:27:01
Bertha Musoni
I love it.
00:27:03
Pearl
Okay.
00:27:04
Bertha Musoni
Okay. Okay. I love it. i love it. No, that sounds amazing. That absolutely sounds amazing. So how does it feel now when you look at yourself? Do you feel different from before when you had it?
00:27:18
Bertha Musoni
Like, are you feeling more confident?
00:27:21
Pearl
Um, yes, I am You know, one thing that I feel better is I do not have to, I can wake up and go. In fact, the messier it is, the better it is.
00:27:34
Pearl
And I don't know why with this short hair, like, and the color.
00:27:35
Bertha Musoni
Okay.
00:27:38
Pearl
Sometimes when I try to tame it and brush it to look a certain way, it doesn't give that, um, you know, what's, what's this look, um'm word I'm looking for, but it's kind of like,
00:27:51
Pearl
ah well, I like it more jazzy looking. i don't know whether that would be.
00:27:54
Bertha Musoni
okay i Okay. Okay. Let it do, let the hair have its own brain kind of thing.
00:27:56
Pearl
what
00:27:59
Bertha Musoni
Like let it do its own thing. Okay.
00:28:01
Pearl
Exactly. And Bertha, I think all that to say jazzy looking, because that is not the way with time. And, you know, when I'm looking at age and everything, that is the way we would say a person's hair is unkempt.
00:28:18
Bertha Musoni
Thank you, MTM.
00:28:19
Pearl
and it's uncombed.
00:28:20
Bertha Musoni
the
00:28:20
Pearl
But sometimes it actually looks good depending on what you're wearing. So sometimes it's just a get up and go kind of hairstyle way. You just get up, moisturize it, and walk out of the door.
00:28:31
Pearl
And then sometimes you'll need a brush and and and, you know, brush it.
00:28:31
Bertha Musoni
I love it.
00:28:36
Pearl
But it's like low maintenance, and I love it. I love it that it's like I don't have to spend too much time.
00:28:39
Bertha Musoni
I love it.
00:28:43
Pearl
I can just keep moving. Just get up and go. Okay.
00:28:46
Bertha Musoni
Like a new lease on life. yeah yes like ah So you are another person. So Richard did get another one He got a Pearl 2.0, feel.
00:28:54
Pearl
Hey, at 50, right?
00:28:59
Bertha Musoni
At 50, he got a Pearl 2.0, and I love that for you. Absolutely love it for you.
00:29:03
Pearl
Yeah.
00:29:05
Bertha Musoni
So what are you looking forward to with this big age? because So 50, before you tell me what you're looking forward to, For me, with the reason why I decided to do this podcast and I'm asking for people for 50 is because 50 seems like such a definitive age.
00:29:25
Bertha Musoni
You know, when people think about living, people always round life to like 100 years.
00:29:30
Pearl
Yeah.
00:29:31
Bertha Musoni
So 50 seems like a halfway point. Does that feel that way to you? How do you feel like in your family? and know your mom is still living.
00:29:42
Bertha Musoni
Are you the new adults? How does that feel stepping into those roles?
00:29:45
Pearl
Yes.
00:29:49
Pearl
Wow.
Generational Shifts and Responsibilities
00:29:51
Pearl
We are the new adults. but
00:29:54
Bertha Musoni
I know, right? That is so crazy.
00:29:56
Pearl
But Bertha, you know what I feel? I feel for us coming to the diaspora, you know, it's like we were forced to become adults maybe quicker than we would have if we were still at home because we would have our parents still doing certain things, going to certain gatherings, you know. But when you are out here, it's like because you're, you know,
00:30:24
Pearl
family is is really not there. There's certain things that you have to face, you have to deal with by yourself.
00:30:30
Bertha Musoni
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
00:30:32
Pearl
Just for example, raising your own child, like coming from the hospital with your own child that you are not going to have hand over to your mama, you know?
00:30:39
Bertha Musoni
Mm-hmm.
00:30:45
Pearl
um You know, yeah.
00:30:46
Bertha Musoni
Oh, the maid.
00:30:47
Pearl
So it's, you know, coming out here has, I think in a way made us grow faster than maybe we would have um back home, you know, I feel.
00:31:04
Pearl
That's the...
00:31:04
Bertha Musoni
i Yeah, I agree with that.
00:31:05
Pearl
what What do you think?
00:31:06
Bertha Musoni
But well, so for me, the new adult thing, I definitely agree with with that take on the fact that we we did grow up, because if we were home,
00:31:06
Pearl
What do you think?
00:31:17
Bertha Musoni
we wouldn't have left home until possibly going into your marriage home, like formerly left home. Like even you being in Victoria Falls was a bit unusual from a traditional Zimbabwean household, right?
00:31:26
Pearl
Yeah.
00:31:30
Bertha Musoni
But at the same time, our parents were willing to have us go thousands of miles away.
00:31:34
Pearl
Yeah.
00:31:35
Bertha Musoni
And so because of that, we did grow earlier, but like in my family right now on my dad's side, my father and all his siblings are gone.
00:31:46
Bertha Musoni
So we are that next generation of elders in the family.
00:31:52
Pearl
Yeah.
00:31:52
Bertha Musoni
And it's it's daunting when it hits you.
00:31:58
Pearl
Yep.
00:32:00
Bertha Musoni
When it hits you and, you know, things are happening and they're looking to you. for those familial decisions. And again, it I guess it depends on the family makeup and things like that.
00:32:12
Bertha Musoni
But that to me has been daunting. That realization of, wait, this next generation is now looking to us.
00:32:16
Pearl
I hear you.
00:32:22
Pearl
Oh my goodness. Actually, yeah, yeah. I hear you. I hear you.
00:32:27
Bertha Musoni
That has been the daunting thing.
00:32:27
Pearl
Because I think in in my family in in my family as well, just to to say even though people are spread out and we are like not in one place but we still have you know we are the next generation we are the generation you know um yeah we are we still have a few well at least um for me i still have a few uncles my mom is is there that's on my mom's side of the family
00:32:35
Bertha Musoni
Mm-hmm.
00:32:43
Bertha Musoni
We are the generation we've tagged in.
00:32:57
Pearl
but really i i guess we are there with them we are there with them so this is the time where the ones that are there really should be passing the baton to the next like this is how we do it this is how it's solved this is how it's done even though we are all in different places the uk south africa us wherever people are but
00:33:04
Bertha Musoni
Right.
00:33:10
Bertha Musoni
Mm hmm.
00:33:23
Pearl
um And maybe those are discussions that are not had. And that's why it's kind of daunting. You know what I'm saying? i don't know whether there should be some, I don't know whether succession discussions or whatever. I don't know.
00:33:41
Pearl
But it's just about just family and how to, you know, raise family, how to, you know, conflict, how you solve conflict between the the the larger family, you know, things like that.
00:33:53
Bertha Musoni
Right. Within within the family, right? Right.
00:33:57
Pearl
Yeah. ah Processes, you know, yeah. I don't know.
00:34:02
Bertha Musoni
It's been it's been that just that realization.
00:34:04
Pearl
But we are the adults. Yeah, yeah. Because do you know what?
00:34:06
Bertha Musoni
Yeah.
00:34:07
Pearl
Our parents were actually adulting way, way before us.
00:34:09
Bertha Musoni
Yes. Before us.
00:34:12
Pearl
when they were like in their 30s and we thought they were already in their 50s, I'm telling you, they were running around, going to funerals, doing things, planning things.
00:34:13
Bertha Musoni
Yeah. yeah Yeah. ah To me, yeah.
00:34:24
Bertha Musoni
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
00:34:25
Pearl
And
00:34:25
Bertha Musoni
Being the ones to say, you need to plan this gathering for all these people. It's insane.
00:34:31
Pearl
that's true. That's true.
00:34:32
Bertha Musoni
The thing for me, and I think this came first dawned on me when I turned, think when I turned 35, And then last year when I turned 49 too, it kind of dawned on me.
00:34:45
Bertha Musoni
My mom's siblings, my aunt who I lived with for lived for a little while in my third grade, she passed away I think at 37 or 38.
00:34:57
Bertha Musoni
and her And her two brothers, the brother she comes after and the brother comes after her, none of those three saw the age of 40. Right. But when my aunt died, my aunt died in 1995. I remember that so well, because I was here, i was in college, I just gotten here.
00:35:16
Bertha Musoni
And I remember thinking, wow she has lived such a great life.
00:35:21
Bertha Musoni
But this was about 36, I think 36 37.
00:35:21
Pearl
And how old was she?
00:35:25
Bertha Musoni
I can't remember.
00:35:25
Pearl
Whoa. She was young.
00:35:28
Bertha Musoni
Right. But that did not hit me until I hit that age. Or around that age, like, wait a minute. I don't want to die. i haven't lived yet.
00:35:40
Pearl
yeah. yeah
00:35:41
Bertha Musoni
i have not lived yet. Like, so what what did I mean when I said she has lived a great life? Like, what did I mean by that?
00:35:50
Pearl
I think maybe, you know, when we were younger, obviously, just looking at our parents or the adults that were ahead of us, we already thought they looked, I don't know, not not that they looked a certain way, but in the eyes of a 12-year-old, your parents, which right now, sometimes you may think, oh, am I a co-parent?
00:36:08
Bertha Musoni
here
00:36:13
Pearl
What do my kids, and they already think, my mama looks like she's in her 60s or whatever.
00:36:19
Bertha Musoni
Right?
00:36:20
Pearl
I don't know. It's about maybe the age. Our parents were probably younger, much younger than the the ages that we thought they were ah back then.
00:36:29
Bertha Musoni
Right. Right. Right.
00:36:32
Pearl
Yeah, so...
00:36:32
Bertha Musoni
I definitely agree. Well, tell me What are you most thankful for about this age? Or what is your the greatest feeling about this big age?
Gratitude and Life Lessons
00:36:43
Pearl
Oh my goodness, Bertha. My biggest feeling is is is gratefulness, gratitude, really.
00:36:50
Bertha Musoni
Hmm.
00:36:50
Pearl
It's gratitude to turn 50, to be still in the land of the living at 50. I'm just so thankful to God, you know, just as we we talked about earlier, leaving Zimbabwe at a young age.
00:37:07
Pearl
And, you know, I feel, um I know when I was younger, I was a sickly child. I had a few stints in the hospital where, you know, um i would be in and then out of the hospital with appendicitis or something else has come up, you know. And when I left the country, I remember even my dad saying, oh Pearl, is this Is it okay for you to leave the country with the issues that you've had?
00:37:37
Bertha Musoni
you
00:37:38
Pearl
But you know what? Here I am, 50, lived through COVID and we are both on the other side, not because we washed our hands or we washed all our groceries as soon as we got in, you know, or sanitized the most or whatever, but it's just the grace of God that, you know, I'm 50, you are 49, almost 50, and gonna be 50 soon, but it's just, I'm just grateful.
00:38:11
Bertha Musoni
Great.
00:38:13
Pearl
I'm grateful to God, so... um I don't look at anything materially to be like, oh, I want to have achieved this by the when i was when I was younger. i probably did.
00:38:27
Pearl
Like, oh, I want to have achieved this at 50 and do this and this.
00:38:29
Bertha Musoni
right eight
00:38:31
Pearl
But right now when I'm in 50 and having entered 50, I'm just so grateful for life and I'm just grateful for health. And I'm just, yeah, eternally grateful to the Lord.
00:38:44
Pearl
So, yeah, that's my, yeah.
00:38:45
Bertha Musoni
I think that's growth right there. That really is the real growth when you're no longer chasing the material things and you're chasing, it's almost like how people are saying, you know, I don't take my kids, I don't buy my kids stuff.
00:38:49
Pearl
Mm-hmm.
00:38:53
Pearl
Yeah.
00:38:58
Bertha Musoni
I i build memories and experiences.
00:39:01
Pearl
Yep.
00:39:02
Bertha Musoni
Like that's what's more important for you to, you remember a feeling for longer when that item is gone.
00:39:02
Pearl
Yeah.
00:39:08
Pearl
That's true. That's true.
00:39:09
Bertha Musoni
So it's, it's, I think that's where the real growth is. Well, before we wrap up Pearl, what would you tell your 20 year old self?
00:39:22
Pearl
Okay, 20-year-old. I already see that 20-year-old that was working in... um Actually, I think I left home when I was 20. Got on that um Greyhound bus and went into the town of Victoria Falls.
00:39:32
Bertha Musoni
ah how
00:39:39
Pearl
But I think what I would say to my 20-year-old is um not to be afraid, really.
00:39:48
Bertha Musoni
Try.
00:39:50
Pearl
because there's so many things that we were afraid of or back then. Really, I think that would be what I can tell my 20-year-old self. Like, don't be afraid.
00:40:03
Pearl
Try, you fail, get back up on the saddle.
00:40:03
Bertha Musoni
and
00:40:08
Bertha Musoni
try
00:40:08
Pearl
Do not be afraid. And, you know, obviously I can tell that to my 20-year-old self, but I try, to tell that to my my kids that are growing up, you know, don't be afraid.
00:40:20
Bertha Musoni
Yes. Mm-hmm. Sure.
00:40:22
Pearl
Even if you fail, you can get up and do it. You guys are young, you know, whether it's in education, it's it's it's getting out of the town or getting out of your familiar surroundings, trying something new.
00:40:38
Pearl
Don't be afraid to do it, you know, just do it. But, you know, I can try and say that, but I've always said every everyone lives their own, every everyone is on their own journey.
00:40:50
Pearl
And no matter what you can try and tell them, maybe, you know, i don't know, they have to live their journey and maybe get to 25 and they look back like, oh, you know what?
00:41:02
Pearl
Yeah, mom's right. Shouldn't be afraid.
00:41:03
Bertha Musoni
Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
00:41:05
Pearl
Yeah, so, but I've tried to to, you know, get that into my kids, like, don't be afraid. And, you know, being afraid as a person that is ah follower of Christ, it's faith, right?
00:41:21
Bertha Musoni
eight Right, right.
00:41:22
Pearl
it's It's like, have faith, have faith.
00:41:24
Bertha Musoni
It doesn't align with faith.
00:41:26
Pearl
It aligns with faith, so I would tell that to my 20-year-old self, you know, whatever you want to do, you know what, have faith, have faith.
00:41:27
Bertha Musoni
Yes.
00:41:38
Pearl
and fee
00:41:39
Bertha Musoni
I like that. I like that. Well, thank you so much, Pearl, for gracing us with your presence and sharing your journey to 50 with us. I am all for celebrating all year.
00:41:51
Bertha Musoni
I don't turn 50 until October, but I have pretty much been celebrating since January.
00:41:54
Pearl
Yay.
00:41:56
Pearl
Oh my goodness.
00:41:57
Bertha Musoni
So you and I are on the same tip. um I am definitely, i i don't know, for me, 50 is just, I've just been excited about it.
00:42:01
Pearl
Yes.
00:42:08
Bertha Musoni
So it's really nice.
00:42:08
Pearl
I can't wait for your 50th birthday.
00:42:09
Bertha Musoni
Yes,
00:42:10
Pearl
I can't wait because I've known you've been celebrating since the beginning, you know, of the year. You and other friend another friend of mine.
00:42:20
Bertha Musoni
and um yes we have. Yes, we
00:42:23
Pearl
I'm like, let that 50 come on, please come 50 for birth.
00:42:25
Bertha Musoni
Listen, we're both October babies and we are going to just do something. So definitely excited to to learn about your journey. And, you know, this is what this show is about for people to come and share their journey to 50.
00:42:43
Bertha Musoni
So thank you so much for sharing with us today.
00:42:46
Pearl
Thank you, Bertha. This was amazing and You took me down memory lane. Thank you so much. I love that.
00:42:53
Bertha Musoni
ah That's part of the journey, but yes. So if you want to come on and share your journey, tell us how your journey to 50 is. Definitely make sure you get in touch and you can listen to this podcast on any of the platforms that you listen to currently.
00:43:10
Bertha Musoni
on Spotify and on Spotify, as well as um Apple podcast. And I do also have a link on Facebook. But with that, to have a great day, everybody. Thank you.