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Episode 207: This Podcast is Hosted by an AMERICAN! Suck it, Stanford!
61 Plays3 years ago
FREE MONTH OF DRYBAR COMEDY when you go to my DryBar Comedy Special, “Amateur Nation”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous and USE PROMO CODE: LOUSANTINI
THIS WEEK:
- “Stanford University: The boss of you!”
- This past Christmas, did you remember NOT to masturbate with the tree ornaments? “Oh, Come, All Ye Shameful…”
- My most hated word of 2022!
On “A la Carte”: Co-ed Pro sports?, Bill Cosby, and “The Keebler Elf” is officially delusional.
On “3 Pro Things”: you must be happy, moving towards how you want to live, and at least one US senator has a sack.
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WATCH the parody song: “My Prez” on YouTube! https://bit.ly/3iyNGpb
WATCH the parody song: “He’s So Stupid (And We Hate That)”: https://bit.ly/3CGNRZa
WATCH the parody song: “Oh, Say AOC!”: https://bit.ly/3ET17gc
WATCH the parody song: “We Want LA”: https://bit.ly/3MCVcO5
WATCH the video: “30 Things That Are Like Driving a Prius”: https://bit.ly/3glKj7m
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Transcript
Introduction to Amateur Nation
00:00:00
Speaker
Warning, the podcast you are about to hear is often based on true events and people.
00:00:06
Speaker
It chronicles the dialogue and actions of random, anonymous, obnoxious, self-entitled, unintelligent, self-centered idiots, attention whores, ignoramuses, dolts, clods, nimrods, douches, weirdos, drama queens, overly sensitive crybabies, and people who think they are better, more important, and special than the rest of us.
00:00:23
Speaker
In one word, amateurs.
00:00:25
Speaker
Amateurs.
Critique of Unintelligent Behavior
00:00:27
Speaker
It's Amateur Nation with Lou Santini.
00:00:30
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We call attention to and call out the amateurs.
00:00:33
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The people who are doing life wrong.
00:00:35
Speaker
The speed bumps of life.
00:00:37
Speaker
The people that are in your way every day.
00:00:40
Speaker
The unintelligent, obnoxious, attention-whoring, self-entitled drama queen victim types who chip away at the moments of your life due to self-awareness, common sense, manners, or social skills and are disturbing the flow of the pros.
00:00:55
Speaker
That's you.
00:00:55
Speaker
Hi, Mom.
00:00:56
Speaker
Oh, hey, Lou.
00:00:57
Speaker
Amateur Nation.
00:00:58
Speaker
It's not just a podcast.
00:00:59
Speaker
It's a movement.
00:01:00
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It's that little voice in your mind that says, fuck you to the
Engaging with the Audience
00:01:04
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people you hate.
00:01:04
Speaker
Yep, this is episode 207.
00:01:05
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This podcast is hosted by an American.
00:01:11
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Suck it, Stanford.
00:01:13
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Fans first.
00:01:14
Speaker
Shouts out to Grace Farouk, Graham Dyer, Cole, Summer 2017, Clint Weatherby, Courtney Faith Meshack, Travis Booth, Not Your Nana, and Oddball following me on Instagram.
00:01:27
Speaker
My Instagram is lou.santini3.
00:01:30
Speaker
And Elaine Nash in Denver, Colorado, who saw me and had some kind words about my Dry Bar Comedy special, Amateur Nation.
00:01:38
Speaker
And you can get a free month subscription on Dry Bar Comedy by going to drybarcomedy.com.
00:01:43
Speaker
Use promo code LUSANTINI, L-O-U-S-A-N-T-I-N-I, and you get a free month.
00:01:50
Speaker
Again, drybarcomedy.com slash L-O-U-S, promo code LUSANTINI, and you have a free month of funny from Dry Bar Comedy as my gift to you for supporting this show.
00:02:03
Speaker
And if I may, just last episode...
Soccer Legends Debate: Messi vs. Pele
00:02:06
Speaker
I had been expounding on what a great World Cup it was, and many were crowning Messi as the GOAT, the greatest of all time in soccer.
00:02:13
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And yes, complete props to him.
00:02:16
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But as I said just one episode ago, to me, in my opinion, the greatest of all time is Pele.
00:02:23
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And sadly, we've lost, in my opinion, the greatest player of all time.
00:02:29
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His name, Pele, is of Hebrew origin meaning miracle or wonder.
00:02:35
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I'd like to give 10 seconds of silence in honor of the number on his jersey to the one, the only, the great Pele.
00:02:54
Speaker
Here's what's happening in Amateur Nation.
00:02:56
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Perhaps you had better start from the beginning.
00:02:57
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Topic
Controversy over Stanford's Word List
00:02:58
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number one.
00:02:58
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Topic number one.
00:03:01
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It's time for... This weekend, you can't say that!
00:03:04
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Stanford University.
00:03:05
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You know, the college that you take all your orders from and is the boss of you?
00:03:09
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Well, you'll be happy to learn that they have a new list of words that you can't say anymore.
00:03:14
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That's normal.
00:03:15
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A college.
00:03:16
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Any institution, in fact, in America, telling you what you can and cannot say.
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In 2022.
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Totally not Nazi Germany or current China.
00:03:25
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Nothing weird about that, right, amateur nation?
00:03:28
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It's a new world.
00:03:29
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No, it's a sucky world.
00:03:31
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And a stupid one.
00:03:32
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And one that pros will not participate in.
00:03:35
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But you sheep have at it.
00:03:36
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Because going along with others, even if it lacks common sense or insults your intelligence, is fun.
00:03:43
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So, here is the updated list of bad words that you can't say anymore.
00:03:48
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In fact, Stanford wants to remove these words from their IT systems and websites.
00:03:53
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I don't want any of that California bullshit.
00:03:55
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Too bad, Stanford has spoken.
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Pencils ready?
00:04:00
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Number one, here we go.
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American.
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American.
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They say it discriminates against South and Central America.
00:04:08
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They want to replace it with U.S. citizen.
00:04:11
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Apparently, it doesn't discriminate against other countries and continents.
00:04:14
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They're cool with it.
00:04:16
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If there ever was a more obvious brainwashing propaganda campaign designed to make you disavow, ignore, decry, and deny your legal birthright as a proud American citizen, this is it.
00:04:27
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Telling you that you can't say what you literally are.
00:04:31
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If you're my friend listening to this podcast, listening to this episode, and you abide by this, unfriend me and delete my contact information from your phone.
00:04:41
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You are a commie, period.
00:04:44
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You don't get to enjoy the remaining freedoms we currently have and then throw your fellow Americans who died for you under the bus.
00:04:51
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You're absolute scum.
00:04:53
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I know what I said.
00:04:55
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Can't say American, huh?
00:04:56
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Well, Lee Greenwood has some rewrites to do.
00:04:59
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Can't wait to watch the next season of U.S. Citizen Idol.
00:05:02
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Not to mention other TV shows and movies to be retitled like U.S. Citizen Beauty, U.S. Citizen Gigolo, and U.S. Citizen Horror Story.
00:05:11
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Next one.
00:05:13
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Can't say walk-in.
00:05:15
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Example, you own a bakery.
00:05:17
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You're not allowed to say things like, well, in addition to the regular customers, we have a lot of walk-in traffic.
00:05:23
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Why?
00:05:24
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You guessed it.
00:05:25
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It, quote, trivializes people with disabilities.
00:05:29
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Trivializes?
00:05:31
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Uh, that's on you, amateur nation.
00:05:33
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Don't project your nonsense on us pros.
00:05:35
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But here's the best part.
00:05:36
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Stanford, even though they're taking words away from you, they will solve your problem by giving you new words to say.
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You ready?
00:05:43
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You will replace it with... Drop in.
00:05:47
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Notice Stanford's choice of words.
00:05:49
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trivializes.
00:05:51
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It's stupidity topped off with a nice creamy layer of guilt and I ain't buying it.
00:05:55
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Here's where they didn't think it through.
00:05:58
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Why just the phrase walk in?
00:06:01
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It's clearly the word walk that they have a problem with.
00:06:04
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Answer, they know if they said you can't say walk anymore then they would show their amateur status.
00:06:11
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Their commie status.
00:06:12
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Their propagandizing plan.
00:06:14
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No one is going to say, I'm going for a thing where I alternate my legs left and right in order to propel myself to a destination.
00:06:20
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Good luck, Pantera!
00:06:23
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Next one.
00:06:24
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Here's a favorite.
00:06:25
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Can't say grandfather.
00:06:28
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The dumbest reason ever?
00:06:29
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Because Grandfather Clause denied black people the vote.
00:06:33
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See, I found a loophole because I called my favorite relative Grandpap, so I get a pass.
00:06:38
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Same goes for Papa, Pop Pop, Grandpa, Pappy, etc.
00:06:41
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It's that evil Grandfather you have to avoid.
00:06:45
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Simple and logical solution for Stanford?
00:06:48
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Instead of calling your grandfather Grandfather, call him Legacy.
00:06:52
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Kids, get in the car.
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We're going to visit Grandma and Legacy.
00:06:56
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Here's another one.
00:06:57
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Can't say, long time no see.
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Because it was originally used to mock indigenous and Chinese people.
00:07:05
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I mean, maybe if you hit a gong after you said it, sure.
00:07:09
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Time for the much more formal time suck.
00:07:11
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I haven't seen you for so long.
00:07:14
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People are suffering.
00:07:15
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Not now, Greta.
00:07:16
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And the stupidity train keeps rolling with the abolishment of the word master.
00:07:21
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To be replaced by the words primary or main.
00:07:26
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Because every time you say master, of course, you are thinking of slavery.
00:07:29
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Like when you sing the definitive thrash metal song by Metallica, Master of Puppets, retitled Primary of Puppets.
00:07:35
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You heard me!
00:07:36
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Primary of Puppets!
00:07:37
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Maine of Puppets!
00:07:39
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I can't wait to see them in concert and hear the crowd chant, Primary!
00:07:42
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Primary!
00:07:43
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Or, Maine!
00:07:45
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Maine!
00:07:47
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Question.
00:07:49
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Let's say you have two amateurs lined up side by side.
00:07:52
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You say the sentences, you know, my grandfather is a master chef.
00:07:56
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He'll walk in any minute.
00:07:57
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You can ask him yourself.
00:07:59
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And then both amateurs being weak minded and stupid die of aneurysms to the joy of pronation.
00:08:04
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You might say you killed two birds with one stone.
00:08:08
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No, no you don't!
00:08:09
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Sure you may have spared the world of two societal drains, but you will rephrase it to... Do two things at once.
00:08:16
Speaker
You don't want to promote animal cruelty, do you?
00:08:18
Speaker
I think you're an asshole.
00:08:21
Speaker
Hey, that sounds like you're discriminating against other genitals!
00:08:25
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But Stanford hasn't officially decreed any problems with the word asshole yet, so I'll allow it.
00:08:30
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Can you tell I put a lot of man hours into this episode?
00:08:34
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Oh, come on!
00:08:35
Speaker
What?
00:08:36
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What'd I say?
00:08:37
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What?
00:08:37
Speaker
Oh, you're kidding me.
00:08:38
Speaker
I can't say man hours?
00:08:40
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Nope, Stanford says person hours is the new improved speak.
00:08:45
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Yay, higher education!
00:08:46
Speaker
Maybe the Simpsons were on to something.
00:08:48
Speaker
Uh, we objected the term urine-soaked hellhole when you could have said pee-pee-soaked heckhole.
00:08:54
Speaker
Alright, this one I truly don't get.
00:08:57
Speaker
The phrase white paper.
00:08:59
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BEEP!
00:09:00
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Because, of course, it's racist.
00:09:02
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Renamed to position paper.
00:09:05
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Are they saying that we replace the word white with position all the time?
00:09:10
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Me no get.
00:09:11
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So I can't describe paper now?
00:09:14
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So it sounds like Stanford has a problem with the word white.
00:09:16
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So no white out, white Christmas, white wedding, and the beloved Disney classic snow position.
00:09:23
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Are you lonely?
00:09:24
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Need some company?
00:09:25
Speaker
Looking for a date?
00:09:27
Speaker
Don't call a prostitute.
00:09:30
Speaker
Head to the seedy part of downtown and now say, I'm looking for a person who engages in sex work.
00:09:35
Speaker
Say goodbye to your wallet and enjoy living your life without teeth.
00:09:39
Speaker
Here's irony.
00:09:40
Speaker
These words trigger amateurs into a conniption fit.
00:09:45
Speaker
Yeah, but you can't say trigger no more.
00:09:47
Speaker
It's now a content note.
00:09:51
Speaker
The reason?
00:09:51
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You're going to love this.
00:09:53
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The phrase can cause stress about what's to follow.
00:09:57
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Here's the best part.
00:09:58
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Stanford actually wrote this.
00:10:01
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Additionally, one can never know what may or may not trigger a particular person.
00:10:08
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They just used the word trigger, and they said you can't say the word trigger, but at the same time they're saying you can't say it because you just never know what will cause the trigger.
00:10:16
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Dear God in heaven, please let me have an amateur say to me, dude, can you not say that?
00:10:21
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It's one of my content notes, so that I may then take all of his or her possessions without any force.
00:10:27
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I'll cut you in for 20%, oh Lord.
00:10:29
Speaker
And finally on the list of words Stanford says are no-nos, the word brave.
00:10:32
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Brave.
00:10:35
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It's next on the chopping block.
00:10:37
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Thank you.
00:10:38
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Can't say brave anymore because this term perpetuates the stereotype of the noble, courageous savage.
00:10:43
Speaker
You don't want to perpetuate that stereotype, someone being noble and courageous.
00:10:46
Speaker
And it also equates the indigenous male as being less than a man.
00:10:50
Speaker
Wow, it does all that?
00:10:53
Speaker
It kills two birds with... Oh, yeah, shit.
00:10:57
Speaker
Apparently, Stanford never heard of homonyms.
00:11:00
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Maybe because the word homo is in that word.
00:11:02
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Or maybe he's just a big homo.
00:11:04
Speaker
Could be.
00:11:05
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I don't know.
00:11:06
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Here's the best part.
00:11:07
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Brave is being replaced with nothing.
00:11:12
Speaker
Hey, who's your favorite baseball team?
00:11:14
Speaker
The Atlanta... What?
00:11:17
Speaker
You know, wink wink.
00:11:19
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So remember, amateurs, your legacy, a proud, I mean, U.S. citizen who put in countless person hours, whether in World War I, World War II, Korea, or Vietnam, fought bravely just so they could preserve your freedoms and defend the red position and blue.
00:11:38
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Hey, what do you expect from a university that has a tree as their band's mascot?
00:11:43
Speaker
California is asshole.
00:11:45
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What have I been saying?
00:11:47
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Their sports team's name is Cardinal.
00:11:50
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Not the Cardinals, just Cardinal.
00:11:53
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And not the bird, referring to the vivid red color.
00:11:57
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I guess raw umber was taken.
00:11:59
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Hey, what's your team name?
00:12:00
Speaker
Purple.
00:12:01
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And now this.
00:12:03
Speaker
Topic number two.
00:12:07
Speaker
Ah, the holidays.
00:12:09
Speaker
A time of giving.
00:12:10
Speaker
Family, friends, gratitude, gathering, and masturbating around the Christmas tree.
00:12:14
Speaker
Wait, what are we doing?
00:12:16
Speaker
I realize it's a couple of weeks behind, but it doesn't mean it ain't amateur.
00:12:19
Speaker
From the New York Post, here's your headline.
00:12:22
Speaker
Doctor warns against this surprisingly stupid Christmas trend.
Unusual Medical Warnings
00:12:27
Speaker
Don't masturbate with ornaments.
00:12:29
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No shit.
00:12:30
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A United Kingdom doctor is raising eyebrows across social media by warning people of the dangers of masturbating with ornaments come Christmas time, which is apparently an actual trend.
00:12:39
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Yeah, these are the same amateurs who yell at you for not wearing a mask.
00:12:42
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It is not advisable to masturbate with Christmas ornaments.
00:12:45
Speaker
There's a sentence that I never thought I would say out loud, especially on a podcast.
00:12:49
Speaker
Dr. Sarah Welsh, a gynecologist, told needtoknow.online.
00:12:54
Speaker
She was listing the dildos and don'ts of the scandalous Yoltei tradition, which sees people hospitalized after getting frisky with everything from glass baubles to candy canes.
00:13:06
Speaker
Double.
00:13:06
Speaker
Yeah, I wish they wouldn't print articles like this because... Maybe Darwin was right.
00:13:10
Speaker
Nature really does weed out the Nimrods.
00:13:13
Speaker
Let them do it!
00:13:14
Speaker
I'm here to help.
00:13:15
Speaker
So, as a public service...
00:13:17
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Here are the top three ornaments you definitely should not masturbate with.
00:13:22
Speaker
Number three, garland.
00:13:25
Speaker
I imagine it's used for some kind of choking fetish.
00:13:28
Speaker
Number two, those old school large Christmas bulbs.
00:13:32
Speaker
Sure, they're tapered, but they're fragile.
00:13:34
Speaker
Plus, they're made in China, and China is already up our asses, so why make it worse?
00:13:39
Speaker
Number one, the angel tree topper.
00:13:41
Speaker
That's just wrong.
00:13:44
Speaker
Helpful tip, if you insist on masturbating with Christmas ornaments, the tree stand is a great way to catch all the blood.
00:13:51
Speaker
But if you still insist on defiling a Christmas ornament, here are the top three Christmas carols to listen to while masturbating with Christmas ornaments.
00:14:00
Speaker
Number three, the little bummer boy.
00:14:03
Speaker
Number two, oh come all ye shameful.
00:14:07
Speaker
And number one, it's beginning to look a lot like stitches.
00:14:14
Speaker
You get a free month subscription on Drybar Comedy by going to drybarcomedy.com slash L-O-U-S and using promo code Lou Santini.
00:14:22
Speaker
Please subscribe to Lou Santini Entertainment on Facebook and YouTube.
00:14:25
Speaker
You'll see that every Thursday is Sneak Peek Thursday.
00:14:28
Speaker
Let's get a 60-second preview of what's coming next week.
00:14:31
Speaker
My main website, loussantini.com, where you can connect to my social media, see the latest news, peruse my services, and shop.
00:14:40
Speaker
Topic number three is next.
00:14:47
Speaker
Hi, pros.
00:14:48
Speaker
Lou Santini here, host of Amateur Nation.
00:14:50
Speaker
My Dry Bar Comedy special, Amateur Nation, is now available.
00:14:55
Speaker
And you can get a free month subscription to Dry Bar Comedy just for being a listener of this podcast.
00:15:00
Speaker
And just like this show, if you're allergic to a lack of common sense in today's world,
00:15:04
Speaker
And you like your comedy delivered with uncompromising talent like it is bite?
00:15:09
Speaker
Then check out my half-hour comedy special, Amateur Nation, for free.
00:15:13
Speaker
Go to drybarcomedy.com slash lews and use promo code lewsantini, L-O-U-S-A-N-T-I-N-I, and you'll get a free month of clean comedy.
00:15:24
Speaker
That will probably still offend Amateur Nation.
00:15:26
Speaker
Drybarcomedy.com slash lews and promo code lewsantini.
00:15:31
Speaker
This is my way of saying thank you to the pros who listen to this show every week.
00:15:35
Speaker
Amateur Nation is not just a podcast, it's a movement.
00:15:39
Speaker
Hey pros, Lou Santini here.
00:15:41
Speaker
They're running out and half off.
00:15:43
Speaker
No amateurs men's and women's t-shirts.
00:15:45
Speaker
Normally $22.95, now just $11.48.
00:15:48
Speaker
The men's tees are a soft, high-quality, pre-shrunk cotton poly blend in sport royal blue.
00:15:54
Speaker
Displaying the no amateurs logo with the waving American flag set at the top.
00:15:58
Speaker
The women's tees are a lightweight, super soft, high quality, pre-shrunk cotton poly blend in royal blue and are fitted.
00:16:04
Speaker
Displaying the No Amateurs logo with the waving American flag.
00:16:07
Speaker
T-shirts just $11.48.
00:16:09
Speaker
Please add $6.95 for shipping and handling for all orders inside the U.S. Spend $50 or more and your shipping is free.
00:16:15
Speaker
Available at louisantini.com slash shop.
00:16:18
Speaker
Be a pro.
00:16:19
Speaker
Say no to amateurs and order your half off No Amateurs t-shirt today.
00:16:23
Speaker
Topic number three.
00:16:24
Speaker
Hit
Pandemic Mask Debate
00:16:25
Speaker
me.
00:16:25
Speaker
Hit me.
00:16:27
Speaker
My most hated word of 2022, masks.
00:16:33
Speaker
I don't think I've hated a word more or have grown more tiresome of a word in my lifetime.
00:16:39
Speaker
Not to mention, until the pandemic started, how often did you even say the word mask?
00:16:44
Speaker
At least that didn't refer to Jim Carrey or Rocky Dennis.
00:16:48
Speaker
Well, many an amateur nation, despite written, spoken, and visual evidence of masks literally doing nothing, even Dr. Keebler L. Fauci said that they don't still wear them.
00:16:58
Speaker
It's part of their routine when they leave the house.
00:17:00
Speaker
All right, let's see.
00:17:01
Speaker
Got my keys, my phone, my wallet.
00:17:04
Speaker
Balls are tucked back.
00:17:05
Speaker
Got my change purse and my whoopee, a.k.a.
00:17:08
Speaker
my mask.
00:17:10
Speaker
I recently posted a meme that I saw, I don't know, saw it somewhere, of a cartoon that shows a man wearing a mask, cowering in shame while two nearby pros laugh and point at him.
00:17:23
Speaker
The caption reads, How to interact with someone who still wears a face mask.
00:17:29
Speaker
Now, this struck me as funny because, ask my girlfriend, if we're out in public and I see someone wearing one, I loudly say, there's one, and point directly at them.
00:17:37
Speaker
So I posted this cartoon, and of course, amateur nation trolls have to chime in.
00:17:43
Speaker
You ready for the responses?
00:17:45
Speaker
A lot of people with bronchitis wear them to minimize the effect of the cold.
00:17:50
Speaker
Don't shame people if you don't know the situation.
00:17:53
Speaker
I will shame whomever I want.
00:17:56
Speaker
And if you have bronchitis, what are you doing out in the bitter cold?
00:17:59
Speaker
And also, no one does that.
00:18:02
Speaker
Someone else wrote, It really is nobody's business.
00:18:05
Speaker
If someone wears a mask, they are allowed to protect themselves with flus and colds going around.
00:18:10
Speaker
They don't want anyone's germs.
00:18:11
Speaker
People need to start worrying about themselves and stop worrying about what other people are wearing.
00:18:15
Speaker
That was all one sentence.
00:18:18
Speaker
No punctuation.
00:18:20
Speaker
Funny how it's nobody's business if someone wears a mask, but when I didn't and still don't, amateur nation is up my ass.
00:18:27
Speaker
What happened to, if you're sick, stay home?
00:18:29
Speaker
You know, common sense.
00:18:31
Speaker
Not to mention during the shutdowns of the plandemic, TV commercials telling the healthy to stay home.
00:18:38
Speaker
I recently went to the doctor and when I first went, no masks at reception or the patients in the waiting room.
00:18:44
Speaker
It was like four weeks ago.
00:18:46
Speaker
Just the doctors wore them.
00:18:48
Speaker
I had a follow-up visit two weeks later, and they had them on.
00:18:53
Speaker
And the receptionist handed me one, and I said, oh, so we're still pretending these work, huh?
00:18:57
Speaker
And she rolled her eyes and said, yeah, I guess.
00:19:00
Speaker
Here's my favorite common answer.
00:19:02
Speaker
It's their right to wear one as anyone else's right to not wear one.
00:19:08
Speaker
And my right to point and laugh as they did with fights, denial of services, disparaging remarks, getting people fired, etc.
00:19:17
Speaker
As I said before, no amnesty, no forgiveness.
00:19:21
Speaker
Masks don't work.
00:19:23
Speaker
Do not tell me about rights.
00:19:28
Speaker
Someone else wrote this.
00:19:29
Speaker
So, a couple of weeks ago, I had the flu, was pretty sick, was recovering a bit, and already had a doctor's yearly appointment.
00:19:37
Speaker
So I kept it.
00:19:38
Speaker
Not only did they require a mask in the office, but I was still a bit sick, coughing, sniffling, etc.
00:19:43
Speaker
So I wore my mask when I entered the building.
00:19:45
Speaker
Some impertinent jerk began to castigate me like I was a paranoid idiot in the elevator.
00:19:50
Speaker
I told him that the mask was for his protection as I had been sick prior with the flu.
00:19:55
Speaker
I've not been pro-masking to prevent myself from exposure this whole time,
00:19:58
Speaker
years now, as it doesn't work.
00:20:00
Speaker
But out of consideration for others, if I am sick, it might help prevent me from filling the air with infectious sputum.
00:20:06
Speaker
You're welcome.
00:20:07
Speaker
Don't prejudge.
00:20:09
Speaker
Can and will.
00:20:11
Speaker
As I said, we pros put up with a lot of temper tantrums, denial of services, disparaging remarks, and much, much worse.
00:20:18
Speaker
No amnesty.
00:20:19
Speaker
Masks do nothing.
00:20:21
Speaker
I have no respect for tyranny of any kind, whether from leaders or followers.
00:20:26
Speaker
Also, if you're worried about infectious sputum, cover your mouth when you cough.
00:20:29
Speaker
I've done some dumb things.
00:20:31
Speaker
They'll do dumb things again.
00:20:33
Speaker
Ever seen that video of a man wearing a mask out in the cold, and as he breathes, you can see the air slash water vapors pouring out from all sides and the mask itself?
00:20:42
Speaker
Do you still really think when you cough or talk germs travel in a perfectly straight line from wherever your mouth is into infinity?
00:20:49
Speaker
Unless they hit the solid steel barrier that is a paper mask, of course you do, amateur nation, because amateurs rarely learn.
00:20:56
Speaker
Amateur!
00:20:57
Speaker
And now to balance the scales, common sense from Pro Nation.
00:21:00
Speaker
This from Ali Beck-Zek.
00:21:03
Speaker
Governments be like, don't leave your house, close your business, cover your airway.
00:21:07
Speaker
You can die anytime.
00:21:08
Speaker
Let loved ones die alone.
00:21:10
Speaker
Take an experimental medical jab and your family may be terrorists.
00:21:14
Speaker
Also government, mental health's declining and we don't know why.
00:21:19
Speaker
She continues, this is gaslighting and it's a sinister form of abuse that abusers use to deny the reality of their targets so that they can gain more control over them.
00:21:30
Speaker
No one can psychologically prosper when they're in a gaslighting environment surrounded by people who are inside of delusions.
00:21:38
Speaker
How about this?
00:21:40
Speaker
Why didn't we see anyone wearing masks as prolifically prior to the 2020 pandemic?
00:21:47
Speaker
Easy answer.
00:21:48
Speaker
propaganda and brainwashing wasn't in full swing.
00:21:52
Speaker
If you truly believe masks work, why haven't you been wearing one your entire life?
00:21:57
Speaker
Anytime you had a cold or flu.
00:21:59
Speaker
Find a cure, then a vaccine.
00:22:07
Speaker
Build up our immune systems.
00:22:09
Speaker
Get a little exercise.
00:22:12
Speaker
It's time for a la carte.
00:22:28
Speaker
People who talk about their sexuality and or pronouns are tiresome.
00:22:33
Speaker
I want somebody to pay a little attention to me.
00:22:35
Speaker
As of the airing of this episode, it's been 30 days since Nuclear Energy Department official Sam Brinton has stolen any luggage.
00:22:41
Speaker
Stop breaking the law, asshole!
00:22:45
Speaker
If men and women are the same,
00:22:47
Speaker
And it's okay for trans men to compete in women's sports.
00:22:51
Speaker
Why aren't men in the WNBA?
00:22:54
Speaker
Besides Brittany Griner.
00:22:56
Speaker
Why aren't women in men's sports?
00:22:59
Speaker
In the NFL?
00:23:00
Speaker
Let's go all in.
00:23:01
Speaker
All pro sports, co-ed.
00:23:03
Speaker
What do you say, amateur nation?
00:23:07
Speaker
Speaking of a league no one supports, Brittany Griner wants fans to continue to advocate for Americans who are wrongfully detained.
00:23:15
Speaker
A. No one cares what that dude wants.
00:23:17
Speaker
B. He wasn't wrongfully detained.
00:23:19
Speaker
He committed a crime in a foreign country.
00:23:21
Speaker
C. If he's going to do anything, maybe start touting about how great America is.
00:23:27
Speaker
Amateur.
00:23:30
Speaker
One of my comedy influences who I saw live twice as a child and who truly is now a disgrace, Bill Cosby, says he's planning to hit the road on a comedy tour in 2023.
00:23:41
Speaker
He's 85, can barely see, and oh, yeah, that's right.
00:23:44
Speaker
He was convicted on a criminal sex charge in 2018, but he was released from a Pennsylvania prison in 2021 after serving three years when the conviction was thrown out by the state Supreme Court.
00:23:55
Speaker
I'm sure it was racism that got him there.
00:23:58
Speaker
Which people would support this amateur comedy show?
00:24:03
Speaker
Answer?
00:24:03
Speaker
Virtual signaling people think he was oppressed.
00:24:07
Speaker
But not the dozens of female victims.
00:24:09
Speaker
You are no longer of any use to me.
00:24:12
Speaker
Fun fact.
00:24:13
Speaker
In less than a year, the U.S. has spent more than 25 times what Trump's border wall would have cost while we protect Ukraine's border.
00:24:22
Speaker
And the winner for most delusional person in the last century is Dr. Keebler L. Fauci, who actually said this out loud in front of people.
00:24:31
Speaker
It's nice that some people, you know, idolize me and put me up on a pedestal.
00:24:37
Speaker
What have we got here, fucking comedian?
00:24:39
Speaker
Did you know a synonym for idolize is has pure unadulterated hatred?
00:24:49
Speaker
Three pro things, three things that are done right.
00:24:52
Speaker
It's that time.
00:24:53
Speaker
Here's number one.
Dennis Prager on Happiness and Morality
00:25:05
Speaker
You know, comedy comes from strife, grief, aggravation, frustration, turmoil, pain, etc.
00:25:13
Speaker
No one ever wrote a successful bit, so I'm getting late all day and made another million bucks.
00:25:17
Speaker
So as a comedian and entertainer, I struggle with the balance of being happy and
00:25:21
Speaker
and tapping into my grief bone, so to speak, to come up with material for the stage and this podcast.
00:25:27
Speaker
Well, that being said, I do indeed prefer overall happiness and balance in my life, which is why I left California and the Hollywood machine there.
00:25:38
Speaker
Recently, the Turning Point America Fest happened in Phoenix, Arizona, featuring a veritable who's who of the top people in the conservative movement, like Carrie Lake, Mike Lindell, Newt Gingrich, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingram, Harmeet Dillon, and more.
00:25:52
Speaker
But I was particularly interested in PragerU co-founder Dennis Prager's words, summarized here.
00:26:00
Speaker
Here's what he had to say.
00:26:02
Speaker
Happiness is a moral obligation.
00:26:06
Speaker
You cannot afflict people with your bad moods any more than you can with your bad breath.
00:26:12
Speaker
Just like you walk, you brush away your bad breath and you shower away your bad odor.
00:26:17
Speaker
You should brush away your bad mood.
00:26:21
Speaker
You owe it to everyone in your life to have a happy disposition.
00:26:25
Speaker
Fake it till you make it.
00:26:27
Speaker
Now, Bob Hogue, I think I'm pronouncing his name right, wrote the article for redstate.com.
00:26:33
Speaker
He says, the reason I find Prager's take so interesting is that it is not the worldview I was exposed to growing up.
00:26:41
Speaker
In the 70s and 80s, it was all the rage to look deep down into your soul, to obsess over everything your parents did wrong, to wallow in your darker feelings, and to commit to a lifetime of talk therapy.
00:26:53
Speaker
The emphasis wasn't even necessarily what it should have been, finding meaning and happiness.
00:27:00
Speaker
The culture has now shifted away from introspection and more toward guilt.
00:27:08
Speaker
He says, if you talk to many young people these days, you'll find that huge numbers are depressed.
00:27:12
Speaker
One half is scared and guilty because they've been taught that the simple fact of their existence is causing the demise of the planet.
00:27:19
Speaker
The other half is glum because they've been convinced that deep down inside, they're racists.
00:27:24
Speaker
I've never thought of happiness in terms of obligation.
00:27:27
Speaker
But if you think about it, it's true.
00:27:29
Speaker
You have been put here on Earth.
00:27:31
Speaker
You have life.
00:27:32
Speaker
You have people who depend on you.
00:27:34
Speaker
To be an effective parent, spouse, sibling, anything, you fail those people if you are a gloomy grump all the time.
00:27:42
Speaker
Eeyore is funny in Winnie the Pooh, but he would make a good dad.
00:27:46
Speaker
Notice the Republicans are generally happier than leftists, who would rather find something to be outraged about than they would take a moment to express gratitude.
00:27:56
Speaker
Now, Dennis Prager also said this, one of the few positive things to come out of the left is that so many of them don't marry and don't have children.
00:28:05
Speaker
When fools don't reproduce, the world gets better.
00:28:14
Speaker
Pro Thing from Alert Pro, Crackpots Comedy Club owner Chris Kettler of Massillon, Ohio.
00:28:19
Speaker
He copied and pasted this, and I love this.
00:28:22
Speaker
Every man is the sum total of his reactions to experience.
00:28:26
Speaker
As your experiences differ and multiply, you become a different man, and hence your perspective changes.
00:28:31
Speaker
This goes on and on.
00:28:33
Speaker
So it would seem foolish, would it not, to adjust our lives to the demands of a goal we see from a different angle every day?
00:28:41
Speaker
How could we ever hope to accomplish anything?
00:28:43
Speaker
The answer, then, must not deal with goals at all.
00:28:48
Speaker
We do not strive to be firemen.
00:28:50
Speaker
We do not strive to be bankers, nor policemen, nor doctors.
00:28:53
Speaker
We strive to be ourselves.
00:28:56
Speaker
But don't misunderstand me.
00:28:57
Speaker
I don't mean that we can't be firemen, bankers, or doctors, but that we must make the goal conform to the individual rather than make the individual conform to the goal.
00:29:08
Speaker
Beware of looking for goals.
00:29:10
Speaker
And listen to this carefully.
00:29:11
Speaker
This is the exact reason why I escaped California.
00:29:17
Speaker
Look for a way of life.
00:29:19
Speaker
Decide how you want to live and then see what you can do to make a living within that way of life.
00:29:30
Speaker
Hunter S. Thompson wrote that.
00:29:33
Speaker
Number three.
00:29:35
Speaker
Did you know you can't spend money you don't have?
00:29:37
Speaker
I know.
00:29:38
Speaker
It's a complicated financial theory.
00:29:40
Speaker
This pro thing is a twofer from Kentucky Senator Rand Paul.
00:29:43
Speaker
This mic drop that admittedly did nothing to stop the 4,000 plus page trillion dollar plus spending package that was recently passed.
00:29:51
Speaker
I brought with me the Omni 4,155 pages.
00:29:57
Speaker
When was it produced?
00:29:58
Speaker
In the dead of the night, 1.30 in the morning when it was released.
00:30:02
Speaker
Now, people argue that it's conservatives' fault.
00:30:05
Speaker
You don't have the Christmas spirit.
00:30:07
Speaker
Somehow you're holding up government.
00:30:10
Speaker
Well, whose job is it to produce this?
00:30:13
Speaker
The people in charge of spending, the people in charge of both of the parties, when did they know that this would be necessary?
00:30:20
Speaker
Well, it's in the law, September 30th.
00:30:24
Speaker
You got nine months, almost 10 months, to produce a plan, to have a spending plan.
00:30:29
Speaker
They weren't ready on September 30th, so they voted themselves 90 more days.
00:30:35
Speaker
They weren't ready last week either, so they voted themselves another week.
00:30:38
Speaker
And now we have it at 1.30 in the morning this morning.
00:30:43
Speaker
But what's the clamor?
00:30:44
Speaker
The clamor is to vote.
00:30:45
Speaker
Vote now.
00:30:46
Speaker
Let's get it done.
00:30:47
Speaker
Why are you standing in the way of spending?
00:30:50
Speaker
Well, the real question is this.
00:30:52
Speaker
What is more dangerous?
00:30:54
Speaker
What is more dangerous to the country?
00:30:58
Speaker
$1.1 trillion in new debt, or as Republican leadership likes to say, oh, but it's a win.
00:31:04
Speaker
It's a big win.
00:31:05
Speaker
We're getting $45 billion for the military.
00:31:08
Speaker
So which is more important?
00:31:10
Speaker
Which threatens the country more?
00:31:12
Speaker
Are we at risk for being invaded by a foreign power if we don't put $45 billion into the military?
00:31:19
Speaker
Or are we more at risk by adding to a $31 trillion debt?
00:31:23
Speaker
I think the greatest risk to our national security is our debt.
00:31:27
Speaker
The process stinks.
00:31:29
Speaker
It's an abomination.
00:31:30
Speaker
It's a no-good, rotten way to run your government.
00:31:33
Speaker
$6 trillion entity, and they want 24 hours to process this, and then they want to go forward.
00:31:40
Speaker
I will be demanding two amendments.
00:31:43
Speaker
One, that this goes against the budget rules.
00:31:46
Speaker
The PAYGO rules say you can't do this.
00:31:48
Speaker
You can't have all this new spending unless it's offset.
00:31:52
Speaker
We will also be demanding that the pay-go rules are increased.
00:31:56
Speaker
Instead of taking 60 votes to evade the rules, we're going to ask that it be a two-thirds vote to evade the rules.
Rand Paul's Critique on Government Spending
00:32:03
Speaker
The American people don't want this.
00:32:05
Speaker
They're sick and tired of it.
00:32:07
Speaker
They're paying for it through the nose with inflation.
00:32:10
Speaker
Adding a trillion dollars to the deficit will simply fuel the fires that are consuming our wages and consuming our retirement plans.
00:32:18
Speaker
It's a terrible system.
00:32:20
Speaker
Someone needs to stand up.
00:32:21
Speaker
We're standing up and we're going to say no.
00:32:24
Speaker
Hey, at least he said it, and it's on record.
00:32:27
Speaker
And part two.
00:32:28
Speaker
I love this.
00:32:29
Speaker
I love this guy.
00:32:29
Speaker
Rand Paul sent $600.01 to Ukraine via Venmo so the country's finances will have to be audited.
00:32:38
Speaker
Will it work?
00:32:39
Speaker
Who knows?
00:32:40
Speaker
Even if they found something, our corrupt government is too worried about pronouns and hosting drag queens to do anything productive.
00:32:45
Speaker
But sometimes you have to keep being that mosquito that buzzes around the head of the government.
00:32:50
Speaker
It's amazing.
00:32:51
Speaker
So many people choose not to know what the government, the institution that works for them is doing.
00:32:59
Speaker
I should know.
00:33:00
Speaker
I used to be that amateur.
00:33:05
Speaker
Hey, check out my Drybar Comedy special, Amateur Nation.
00:33:08
Speaker
Get a free month's subscription to Drybar Comedy by going to drybarcomedy.com slash L-O-U-S using promo code Lou Santini.
00:33:15
Speaker
Subscribe to Lou Santini Entertainment on Facebook and YouTube.
00:33:19
Speaker
LouSantini.com has links to all my social media.
00:33:22
Speaker
Hey, send me something that I can read or use on the show, good or bad, and you snag a free No Amateurs t-shirt.
00:33:27
Speaker
My email is lou at lou santini.com.
00:33:30
Speaker
Amateur Nation is not just a podcast, it's a movement.
00:33:34
Speaker
Remember amateurs, we see you.
00:33:36
Speaker
You're not at home.
00:33:37
Speaker
Don't do life wrong.
00:33:39
Speaker
Go pro.
00:33:40
Speaker
Don't be an amateur.
00:33:42
Speaker
For Amateur Nation, I'm Lou Santini, and this has been a big major production.
00:33:49
Speaker
It's nice that some people, you know, idolize me and put me up on a pedestal.