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“DON'T:  Act Like / Pull a / Vote For  Commiela Harris” image

“DON'T: Act Like / Pull a / Vote For Commiela Harris”

S6 E298 · AMATEUR NATION with Lou Santini
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37 Plays2 months ago

THIS WEEK:*

  1. Every day things of which Amateur Nation is complacent and/or silent”.
  2. Hey, amateurs: How’s “weird” working out for ya? Daddy’s gonna tell you amateurs what your parents didn’t or won’t.
  3. “This Week in Distractions to the Election”!

*On “A la Carte”:* One of the best “a la carte” menus in a long time featuring, “solar power is not the future”, “brand ambassadors”, and complaining about the current generation by the older generation is as old as time itself.

*On “3 Pro Things”:* An, “it would be funny if it weren’t true” example of how propaganda works, a child knows what Commiela Harris is all about, and an IG account nails it in identifying amateurs just like are found in my book.

*DRYBAR COMEDY SPECIAL:“Amateur Nation*”: https://www.drybarcomedy.com/lous

*SUBSCRIBE ON YOUTUBE*: for 60-second podcast previews!: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCOh5fIZVQdT0VG2M59S0Vwg

*MORE*: https://www.lousantini.com/

*THE BOOK*: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B08254WSV4

*Facebook:* https://facebook.com/lousantinientertainment

*Instagram:* https://www.instagram.com/lou.santini3/

*Truth Social:* https://truthsocial.com/@lousantini3

*LinkedIn:* https://www.linkedin.com/in/lousantini/

*GETTR:* https://gettr.com/user/lousantini

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Transcript

Shift in Human Behavior

00:00:00
Speaker
There's been an odd shift in human behavior over the last 15-plus years. A sense of entitlement. A constant need for attention. Ironically, coupled with the need to be left alone. A desire to be treated the same as everyone else. Stupidly combined with the mindset of, I'm special, so treat me accordingly.

Exploring 'Amateur Nation'

00:00:17
Speaker
Introducing the book, Amateur Nation. Better client of common sense, manners, and social skills. Best second edition. Inside, you'll read The Amateur Mission Station. The 30 truths about amateurs. The four stages of being an amateur. Amateur habitats and history. Social media plus me, me, me equals amateur. Technology and amateur behavior. With dozens of real funny photos, weird signs, and laugh out loud real life accounts and actual conversations vividly showing how us pros are surrounded by amateur nation every day. Download the expanded second edition of the e-book amateur nation.

Amateur Nation Book Promotion

00:00:51
Speaker
The decline of common sense manners and social skills. The second expanded edition available now. Be a pro. Go to Amazon. Type amateur nation. The honor and remember flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families.
00:01:09
Speaker
The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too. Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more. Together we remember them all.
00:01:40
Speaker
are do welcome to the shield Okay, let's all shut up, please. Warning. The podcast you are about to hear is often based on true events and people.

Podcast Theme Introduction

00:01:58
Speaker
It chronicles the dialogue and actions of random, anonymous, obnoxious, self-entitled, unintelligent, self-centered idiots, attention whores, ignoramuses, dolts, clods, nimrods, douches, weirdos, drama queens, overly sensitive cry babies, and people who think they are better, more important, and special than the rest of us. In one word, amateurs.
00:02:20
Speaker
It's Amateur Nation with Lou Santini.

Introduction to Episode 298

00:02:23
Speaker
All right. Listen up, you stench. We call attention to and call out the amateurs, the people who are doing life wrong, the speed bumps of life, the people that are in your way every day, the unintelligent, obnoxious, attention-horring, self-entitled, drama queen victim types who chip away at the moments of your life due to no self-awareness, common sense, manners, social skills, or communism, and are disturbing the flow of the prose.
00:02:47
Speaker
Hi, Mom. Oh, hey, Lou. Amateur Nation. It's not just a podcast. It's a movement. This is episode 298. Don't pull a act like vote for Kamila Harris.
00:03:01
Speaker
How about that title, huh? Tell me that would make a great T-shirt. Now, if I see it anywhere, I'll be expecting my cut. It was either that or just a picture of me grabbing my nuts with the caption, middle class this. Amateur Nation, six seasons as your weekly news and social commentary magazine with opinions, facts, logic, and common sense from me and various pros from around the United States and the globe.

Episode Content Overview

00:03:24
Speaker
On today's episode, everyday things of which amateur nation is complacent and or silent. And hey amateurs, how's weird working out for you? And this week in distractions to the election. Then we stuff our faces with healthy doses of sarcasm in the a la carte segment and close the show with three things done right on three pro things.
00:03:46
Speaker
Shouts out to Pro Nation, Nancy Smith and Philae Fall on Getter, Tosca Musk on Truth Social, Bill Beese, Bob Fisher, Jeff Miller, Mike Young, Samantha Cohen, Stephanie Matthews, Lauren Najee, Shawna Copley and Dino Pellegi on Facebook, and Linda Fisher, Eli S., Miranda, Sarah Short, Elena Davidson, Rosie, Macy Bloodworth, Road Dogg 7313, Ray K333, Jeff Shelton, Richard Korzep, and Marcela Ruiz on Instagram. You can follow me on Facebook, Lou Santini Entertainment, Truth Social, at Lou Santini, and Instagram, at Lou Dot Santini 3.

Tax Plan Comparison

00:04:27
Speaker
Your pro quote of the week from Lance Gooden on X.
00:04:31
Speaker
The Trump Plan. No tax on overtime. No tax on Social Security. No tax on tips. The Harris Plan. Use 87,000 new IRS agents to tax unrealized capital gains. Your choice, America.
00:04:46
Speaker
Before we get started, please don't forget to find a greeting card store and get that card for the special lesbian in your life. What am I saying? All lesbians are special because October 8th is International Lesbian Day. That's right! Not just domestic lesbians, but even the lesbians in Haiti and Venezuela. You know, the ones that are here in America now. So for you folks in Colorado and Ohio, find that international lesbian and give them a great big kiss. They love that!
00:05:13
Speaker
Oh, but wait, there's more. Just three days later, in case some lesbians are hiding, October 11th is National Coming Out Day. The day they come out begins a new journey of nonstop attention and special privileges. It doesn't just cover women, but also men and transgender individuals. Here's what's happening in amateur

Lou Santini's Background

00:05:33
Speaker
nation. As
00:05:41
Speaker
Something you may not know about me. I was on the radio for six days a week for 11 years before moving to California in 1997 and then escaping in 2020. I am now also the lead fill-in morning show host on The Morning Buzz on WNIR 100.1 FM in Northeast Ohio. Someone gets sick or goes on vacation, I'm the man they call.
00:06:01
Speaker
It's a conservative news talk station, and when I'm on, you can also listen anywhere in the world on WNIR.com. If you want to see when I'm going to be on the air and listen on WNIR.com, just go to my website, LouSantini.com, and I post the days that I'm on the radio on my calendar.

Complacency in Society

00:06:19
Speaker
Now, in my show prep, I came across this article from a service called The Bull Sheet, and it fits perfectly with this show. It was entitled Things That Are Getting Out Of Control These Days. I re-titled this for this show, More Things Of Which Amateur Nation Is Complacent And Or Silent. Let's start with this.
00:06:42
Speaker
Tipping culture. I mean, it would appear that waitresses are one of the many groups the government fucks in the ass on a regular basis. Okay, I tip. Fact. I start at 20% and go down or up based on service. I used to rarely go down as service used to be good regularly. Not the case any longer.
00:06:59
Speaker
With lazier employees who now can't work from home, stimulus checks have run out, and I guess amateurs ain't getting that free college tuition, the general attitude from many, and dare I say most, servers and customer service salespeople in stores is, but okay shut up all right i don't care who you are i don't care what you want I recently went to pick up my order from a place called Maki House. It's sushi rolls, boba, specialty Asian takeout.
00:07:23
Speaker
Let's not glide over the fact that the amateur Gen Z'er on the phone taking my order had about as much personality and professionalism as, uh, Gen Z'er. I place my order and at the end of the conversation I get, no joke, is that it? Oh, I can't wait to tip you! And why exactly are you here? Then I drive my car with my gas to their location. It's waiting for me in a bag. It's on a shelf. It's on the counter. They literally just hand me something. The bag.
00:07:53
Speaker
Well, Lou, they packed it up for you. Yes, that's called your job. You didn't serve me. You didn't make me feel welcome. You didn't smile, show courtesy. You didn't run food to my table many times. You didn't check in on me. You didn't refill my water glass. In other words, you did nothing to earn a tip. As long as you think it's stupid, too. You're not a server. You're a cashier. And when did the minimum tip become 25%? And tipping at self-service stations? No.
00:08:26
Speaker
I guess from now on, whenever I perform on stage, I should put out a tip jar. Or when I'm on the radio, I should give out my Venmo so people can tip me based on my show. In fact, this podcast is free. I'm owed six seasons worth of tips, 298 episodes and counting. What's that, amateurs? Those aren't service jobs? Tell you what, you start giving me service, good service, and I'll start you at 20%.
00:08:49
Speaker
And as a bonus, if you vote Trump, you won't have to worry about being taxed on that. I know, but he's so racist. Because you're amateurs.

Critique of Modern Culture

00:08:58
Speaker
Another thing of which amateur nation is complacent and or silent. Subscriptions for everything.
00:09:06
Speaker
Remember when you didn't have to give all your personal info just to watch a football game or visit a website, and you didn't have to pay every month to use a stinkin' piece of software? How often have you watched a series, episode one, or even season one, and then you get, eh, if you wanna see the rest, pony up.
00:09:27
Speaker
Too many apps. Everything requires an app these days. Stores, event tickets, parking. Parking! No joke. I have to use an app on my phone to park at the Cleveland airport when I travel. Gotta make sure they trace and track your movement even when you have no movement. I have 67 apps on my phone. Of those, 24 I use almost daily. The next 24, sporadically, and the remaining 19 are there just to use once in a blue moon and to make me crazy. Worthless.
00:09:55
Speaker
I have a friend with over 250 apps on his phone and I know people who have countless more. Now my buddy claims to use them all. I haven't heard from him in three years. I wonder if there's a connection. He should use his phone app and call me.
00:10:13
Speaker
Too many ads, not just on TV. For one, 75% of TV ads in America are for prescription drugs. That's a fact. Other countries ban prescription drug ads. I'm old enough to remember when commercials could not advertise prescription drugs or liquor, just beer and wine.
00:10:29
Speaker
Now it's take this drug, fast food, drugs, and alcohol. Those are the ads you see now. Stay numb and dumb, amateur nation. Go on YouTube. Ads. Hulu. Ads. Unless you want to pay extra for going ad-free. Now, while I would consider that, honestly, if I was a millionaire, I still wouldn't do it. I take more pleasure in muting ads and making a point to never buy a product or service that annoys me. And I know I'm not the only one.
00:10:57
Speaker
I'm going to lose some people on this one, the Marvel Universe. Look, I wish I'd liked fantasy more, but I don't. And I get that art is subjective. But this ain't art. And look, I'm not a comic book fan, so while I won't rain on anyone's parade in fandom, I do hear from my friends who love the Marvel Universe. They love the Marvel movies. They love comic books. And they say the whole Marvel universe is watered down.
00:11:23
Speaker
I've seen a few of those movies, but it's just green screen from start to finish, horrific acting, and of course everyone wants to rule the world. We got it. Everyone has a special power and they have to unite to conquer the evil.
00:11:35
Speaker
Ugh, see, also the Star Wars franchise. Sorry, but all those movies sucked. Even the originals. But just because Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back are the two best ones, that ain't saying much. TV shows, spin-offs, prequels, sequels, re-dos, remakes, then the woke remakes. What if Darth Vader was gay? Empty mind calories topped off with insulting my intelligence. Nope. Blinding LED headlights.
00:12:01
Speaker
The article says you can tell it's a new car because your retinas are burning. Now look, as a car enthusiast, I get it. I guess there's a fine line between being able to see well in the dark, but also not killing the oncoming motorists. Then you get the amateurs who deck out their vehicles like Mad Max with extra lights, and I'm starting to see how there are so many UFO sightings.
00:12:23
Speaker
Here's another one.

AI and News Criticism

00:12:24
Speaker
AI, artificial intelligence. I was over it when I heard about it. Anything that removes the human element bores me. And this absolutely falls under the topic of just because you can doesn't mean you should. They launched that crap without any responsibility or accountability. I see nothing but problems arising. So far its sole purpose is to create memes and false information.
00:12:49
Speaker
And finally, sensational news. Every story on the internet, on social media, is breaking and it sensational and every story wins the internet. Hyperbole is now meaningless. Oh wait, nevermind, this is clickbait. Add that to the list. Everything is terrible. all this So if you'll hide your vaginas, it's time to gather some intel. And now for step two. Topic number two.
00:13:17
Speaker
This topic, while for all, is directed to the amateurs who might be listening. And if you know one that needs to hear this, please pass it along. I thought this music might be soothing for the

Advice for Amateurs

00:13:27
Speaker
frazzled, delicate nerves of amateurs. Daddy's gonna tell you amateurs what your parents didn't, and your school didn't, and your college didn't, or won't. Amateurs, a question. How's weird working out for you?
00:13:46
Speaker
multiple piercings on the face and body tats on the body and face horns, nose rings, gauged ears, antlers, any color hair that doesn't exist in nature. What's that?
00:13:58
Speaker
You have the right to be an individual. Hey, I get it. I used to have long hair below my shoulders, double pierced earrings on my left ear. I had tucked in my guest jeans into my pointy boots when i and my leather fringe jacket as I went to these heavy metal clubs and I'm still a metal head. I get that. But there's a difference between being an individual, coming up with your own style, and going out of your way to be a spectacle. Right?
00:14:25
Speaker
What's that? You're getting along just fine with your friends? Anyone can get along with their friends. Misery loves company. Mutants stick together. What about the rest of society, amateurs? Do you get a lot of hassles, comments, and looks from pro-nation, you know, the normies? What's that? Oh, that's on them? No, you have to take some of the blame. And I get it, somewhat.
00:14:50
Speaker
You don't hassle them, and no, no one should be judged on their appearance. And you, remarkably, won a job. A good-paying job, right? After all, what the hell good are the four-plus years your parents paid for in college? But, and here comes the but. I don't know or haven't seen one green-haired, multiple-pierced, face-tatted, often gender-confused, pasty-white, poorly-dressed amateur that wasn't a complete biological and social fuckup. Looking and acting absolutely miserable. Some of this isn't your fault. I mean, a man can only take so many wedgies before he goes to pieces. I literally laugh at them, out loud, in public. How can I not? You look like a semi-truck full of safety pins crashed into a Sherman Williams store. And don't forget that stellar personality that mumbles, survives on Taco Bell, Mountain Dew, and Anxiety Meds 24-7, needs 200 days off a year because they're part of an LMNOP community. Not to mention you need your own designated safe space because you identify as a cat.
00:15:48
Speaker
And don't forget some amateurs suffer from time blindness and simply may not make it in today. And you want to work at my company? But now with that face, you're too ugly. You look like shit. Okay. No one should be hassling you if you are minding your own business. Agreed. I live my life by it. Show me common sense, good manners and social skills in public or in business dealings, and we will be just fine. I don't disrespect anyone until they give me a reason to. That's the way it is with most pros in pro nation. But here comes another, but amateurs, companies shouldn't be hiring you.
00:16:23
Speaker
They have bills and responsibilities and mouths to feed. And you are not the answer for that. That's what you are, amateurs, when you go to a job interview. That's that's the harsh reality I face daily in the entertainment field. Daily rejection, daily rejection on some level. Auditions, writing inquiries, crowd responses to my stand-up comedy. It's part of a job. When I book a job as an entertainer, whether it's for voice acting or TV hosting or stand-up comedy, writing, acting, whatever,
00:16:52
Speaker
I am literally the solution to a client's problem. And that problem of theirs is I need entertainment of a specific type. Now, amateurs, when you go in for a job interview, you are supposed to be the answer to their problem, filling a specific position that requires specific skills. Sometimes it's an intricate skill, like being a surgeon or a financial advisor or a lawyer or a welder. Sometimes it's a skill like standing there and trying not to look like you are coming off a hangover or about to have a nervous breakdown while bagging my groceries. A skill nonetheless, but a skill needed for that job. Congratulations, you found a way to make bagging groceries look difficult. Here are the job requirements to be a good employee anywhere. Ready amateurs? Pencils ready? Oh, sorry. Notes app ready? Here they are. Requirements to be a good employee at any job. In no particular order. Actually, this first one is show up on time.
00:17:57
Speaker
Look presentable and dress for the job you have or the promotion you want. Speak English clearly with good manners and social skills. That's going to require a lot of eye contact and please and thank yous. Mind your own business. Do your job. The job you were hired to do. On time. Do it well. Always. And finally, don't steal. Stay off your phone and don't pork your coworkers. That's it!
00:18:22
Speaker
Four do's and one obvious, don't. Oh, and try to remember you're nothing special. You're disposable. What's the saying in Hollywood? If you have to say, do you know who I am? You ain't anybody. But here's another saying from my all-time favorite entertainer, Steve Martin. Be so good that they can't ignore you. Good, amateurs, not neon and weird. By the way, amateurs, you're gonna age.
00:18:47
Speaker
You're not going to stay the same age. Someday you're going to be even dumber and even poorer because you're even dumber.
00:18:58
Speaker
Here's something else that no one has told you yet, amateurs. Do you know the difference between Democrats and Republicans? but Forget policy. Forget stereotypes. Forget their rhetoric and talking points. I'm going to get very basic here.
00:19:12
Speaker
And you'll love it because it has to do with one of your favorite things besides anxiety and depression. It has to do with feelings. Let me be clear here. What I'm about to say is not always 100% of the time, but Republicans and conservatives have fewer big life problems.
00:19:36
Speaker
Big life problems are things like divorce, bankruptcy, drug addiction, obesity, controllable diseases like certain types of diabetes, heart disease, cancer, and also things like alcoholism, corruption, financial corruption, criminal activity. Those are big problems. We can all agree. And not to say that things like you're trying to pay your bills and finding a good college and buying a car, finding a significant other,
00:20:02
Speaker
Those can be troublesome. Finding your dream career. Wanting to move up in life. Problems, yes. Kind of good problems, actually.

Political Leadership Comparison

00:20:09
Speaker
But we can all agree something like abortion. That would be a life problem. To me, a life problem is anything that railroads your current plans in a major way. A divorce. A medical emergency. A medical issue. Bankruptcy. Addictions. A life of crime. Teen pregnancy. Those kinds of things are big life problems. We can all agree. Now,
00:20:32
Speaker
I'm sorry, but Republicans have less of that. Conservatives have less of that. How do I know? Go to the big cities. Are they blue cities or are they red cities? They're mostly blue. Are they thriving or do they have all the life problems? The worst of everything I just listed. Way more than red cities!
00:20:51
Speaker
And of course Republicans have all those problems too. I'm saying it's more rampant in blue cities and states and you and amateur nation are wanting to vote for a woman whose party has been in power for 16 of the last 20 years and she's going to fix your problems now.
00:21:07
Speaker
Even though she's been second in command for three and a half years, she's going to fix your problems. The big problems. No. And no, sadly, the Republicans will not fix your problems, but they will take some of the burden off of them, make it easier for you to make the changes you want to make so you can plan how you want to plan and not just survive.
00:21:29
Speaker
Surviving is fine for a stretch. Everyone should have to struggle to survive at some point. It builds character. But if you live your life with hard work and minding your own business, you should be rewarded with the chance to do better. Okay, let me steer you here for a second, amateurs who might be listening. Listen carefully.
00:21:48
Speaker
Donald Trump is a financial genius. That is an indisputable fact. Yeah, his hair, his voice, he's racist, whatever. Keep chugging the Kool-Aid. But he ain't flying a private jet because of socialism. It ain't a small jet. It's a jumbo jet. It's a commercial airliner.
00:22:02
Speaker
Now, while having money doesn't solve all the world's problems, or your problems, so making sure that dirty money isn't being handled by our government, and making sure laundering money isn't being committed by our government, to thereby keeping you, hopefully, a legal American citizen from prospering, that is a great thing to have in the White House. A watchdog of America's money.
00:22:29
Speaker
Under Trump, no one gets money that doesn't earn it. And people who owe us money pay up. You have a man who wants to run his country the way he runs his business, ethically, legally, and financially responsibly. When the right money goes to the right people, and most importantly, when money isn't being wasted at stratospheric levels, people are calmer because now they don't lack. Their needs are being met.
00:22:55
Speaker
They can get medical care now without worrying if they're going to go bankrupt or lose their home. They can eat healthier food. They can take vacations. Less stress. Kamila Harris's administration wants you fat, numb, dumb, and trusting them completely. They've ruined your bodies with chemicals and foods, unnecessary prescription drugs, and infected your mind with propaganda movies, making you question your sexuality, and emasculating men while exploiting women in the name of equality. And your beloved Hollywood elite, musical artists, and professional athletes are all in on it.
00:23:30
Speaker
You've been used amateurs, gen zers, millennials. You've been used, tricked, lied to, brainwashed, poisoned, literally. You should be furious and you've been lied to as to who, quote, did this to you, unquote.
00:23:47
Speaker
Trump did not do this to you. The generation before you didn't do this to you. You did this to you. However, you will let the current administration, you let them, the Democrats, the commies over the last 16 out of 20 years and long before that, do this to you because the people in power right now, as I speak, and the stars and celebrities that you admire right now have been paid by the richest men on this earth to break you down, numb you up and use you.
00:24:17
Speaker
for their wealth. holy jumped up ballheaded jesus pallame back I hope you get back on your

Communication Skills of Younger Generations

00:24:25
Speaker
feet. I do. For selfish reasons. Because I'm sick of talking to and dealing with simpletons.
00:24:31
Speaker
So few of you Gen Zers and Millennials have any speaking skills whatsoever. You sound retarded. Not joking here. Not making fun of retarded people. You literally sound retarded when you speak your face and body language. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an IQ of 48 and I'm what some people call mentally retarded. Retarded.
00:25:01
Speaker
If you're offended by that, then you're the amateur Gen Z or millennial who looks retarded. That should make you mad. I will no longer defend my use of the word retarded in its actual literal meaning on this show ever again, by the way. It's up to you.
00:25:16
Speaker
All that crime, poverty, and unrest happening in blue cities and states. How much money is being thrown at things and programs that have never worked? Baltimore is the first city that comes to mind. And you're okay with sending even a dollar to another country while your city is crumbling? That's Kamala Amateurs. That's her party for the last 16 of 20 years and beyond.
00:25:39
Speaker
I mean, how much money does it take to solve a problem? Whenever has a politician said, if we spend this much money, by this much time, it will be done. Never. 20 billion missing in homelessness funds in Commie, but homelessness is worse than ever. But this idiot love a yellow school is the answer because Cedric the entertainer now supports her.
00:26:05
Speaker
I think 16 out of 20 years is plenty of time to put a dent in solving America's big life problems. Crime, poverty, inflation, energy. Abortion? Here it comes. That's your problem. That's not a national problem. Crime, poverty, inflation, energy. Those affect everyone. No, I'm not saying I'm unsympathetic to a woman who has an unwanted pregnancy. That's nuts, especially in cases of incest or rape. But what I said stands. It's not a national issue. It's a person by person issue, case by case. And now it's a state's issue when it comes to its legality. States voted on it. There is no national abortion ban. Donald Trump will not put out a national abortion ban. How do I know this? Because he's the one who made it state by state to vote on it. So stop.
00:26:56
Speaker
Do you want to get rid of some of these big life problems in your life amateurs or at least put yourself in a position where your chances of getting through them or even encountering them is less? Good! Start by voting with the party that isn't communist.
00:27:13
Speaker
Feel free to share, comment, spread the word.

Engagement and Subscription Encouragement

00:27:16
Speaker
LouSantini.com has all my social media links. You can find me on Getter, Facebook, Instagram, and Truth Social. Subscribe to the show. You'll get little tastes of each episode throughout the week. all a la carte and three pro things are on the way. But first, this week in distractions to the election on topic number three, next.
00:27:34
Speaker
The Honor and Remember flag is a nationally recognized symbol that sends a message of appreciation for the sacrifice made by our fallen heroes and their families. The flag flies at many NASCAR races around the country and you can help honor our nation's fallen military members and remember the eternal sacrifice of their service by flying the flag too. Text FLAG to 71777 or visit honorandremember.org to learn more. Together, we remember them all.
00:28:08
Speaker
Hi bros, Lou Santini here, host of Amateur Nation. My Drybar Comedy Special, Amateur Nation, is now available. And just like this show, if you're allergic to a lack of common sense in today's world, and you like your comedy delivered with uncompromising talent it like it is
00:28:31
Speaker
This is my way of saying thank you to the pros who listen to this show every week. DrybarComedy.com um slash Lou S. Amateur Nation is not just a podcast, it's a movement.
00:28:46
Speaker
Oh now what? I dig this. Alright, now step three. Topic number three. Hit me! It's time for This Week in Distractions to the Election.
00:29:00
Speaker
Let's dive into Trump's strife as it has been discovered that the U.S. Secret Service was warned of a potential Iran drone attack on the president. It was during a 2023 rally, and the agent was concerned that the drone detection system wasn't operational, despite the threat. Mmm, Deli, get your panties in a twist. Yeah, it was probably nothing. In other Secret Service ineptitude news, a Secret Service agent was recently accused of sexually assaulting a Kamila Harris staffer.
00:29:31
Speaker
New York City Mayor Eric Adams. Remember him? He's the one who was happy New York City had so many illegal immigrants to fill those much needed lifeguard positions. I wish I was joking. He held a press conference for it. He's facing multiple charges including bribery and wire fraud charges that span nearly a decade supposedly defrauding New York City out of 10 million dollars in public funds. Now listen.
00:29:55
Speaker
I'm still all about innocent until proven guilty, and I mean it always. However, I'm about 40-60 thinking he actually is innocent. Just my opinion. I think he just pissed off the wrong commie. A commie himself, Mayor Adams. But remember, there is no honor among thieves.
00:30:14
Speaker
I'm keeping an eye on this one. Unless Kamila wins and then he'll just get whacked. Or promoted, the commies have weird hiring and firing policies. I hate communists. All they do is boss people around. Let's stay in New York City where their former COVID advisor was fired after admitting to attending sex and drug parties during the pandemic. You know what? Never mind that. I just hope you walked in the right direction at the grocery store.
00:30:46
Speaker
Hey, Kamila Harris visited the border, only took her three and a half years. But don't worry, she's gonna do something about it as soon as she has some power. How dare you, she's a nice lady! Meanwhile, the Border Patrol Union called her out for ignoring the border crisis. Satan's fill-in guy, George, I told my plastic surgeon, make me look like the moon, Soros, is this close to buying 200 radio stations in America. I'm sure the news will be super unbiased then... Why won't you die? Speaking of the man on the moon, his inherently evil son, Alex, hosted tampon Tim Walls in his New York City home. It's a nice combo of weird and evil. Time to go rewatch Eyes Wide Shut.
00:31:31
Speaker
I don't want to hear that California bullshit. Now off to Commie, where they're tackling the tough issues. Such as, you ask? Well, Unusual Wales reports that canceling subscriptions will now be a one-click snap under new law. Why are you telling me this? What makes you think I have any interest in that at all? But wait, there's more! Emperor Gavin Newsom signed a bill into law banning plastic bags at grocery stores. Nothing was mentioned about the several thousand products in the grocery stores made out of plastic. Or the carts. Or the indoor signage. Or the name tags. As long as pet owners have no way of disposing of their pets' crap. You're just gonna have to stop pissing me off. I can't!
00:32:13
Speaker
Mark, I have all this money and no microblading to give me new eyebrows. Zuckerberg now identifies as a boy, a girl, a cat, a sexy cat,
00:32:26
Speaker
on um right trans. Oh, please be trans, said amateur nation. Well, nope. Now he identifies as a libertarian. Someone tell this woman that switching parties isn't like base to keep you out of prison. He's a sassy.
00:32:43
Speaker
Some other amateur tried to kill Trump. Warren Jones' Crazy Bull. That's a good start. If I was a trial lawyer, I'd be like, so, Mr. Crazy Bull. Tell us why you wanted to kill President Trump, Mr. Crazy Bull. What a strange person.
00:33:00
Speaker
Speaking of the members of the We Tried to Kill Trump Club, would-be assassin Ryan Ralph had a memo that detailed Trump's schedule all the way through October of this year.
00:33:12
Speaker
You know, like we all have. He leaked government secrets. He's lucky they didn't shoot him. And it was discovered he offered $150,000 to any would-be assassin. He was going to raise the money for the hit by selling his dream catchers.
00:33:25
Speaker
Hey, anyone seen my apple? Oh, it's right there next to the tree. Oren Ralph, Ryan Ralph's son, was arrested on multiple federal child pornography charges. two The first question during his interrogation was, what was it like growing up with the name Oren?
00:33:46
Speaker
Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme that which I desire! The Ohio toxic spill of the quarter happened in Cleves and Whitewater Township as a train leaked, rather, spewed, dangerous chemicals into the air. Relax, it was just styrene. Hell, they probably spray that in the chemtrails you breathe daily.
00:34:05
Speaker
Dallas Mavericks owner and pretend nice guy Mark Cuban must have really done some bad stuff that's captured on camera because he actually said these words. Mainstream media leans right and Kamala Harris' border policies actually worked. but shut up just shut up he doesn't get
00:34:22
Speaker
This just in. Oh, oh good, I was getting worried they weren't getting any of my money this week. That's right, my money. Barack Obama just approved an additional eight billion dollars in military aid to Ukraine. I'm gonna call you a prick. Well, what what can I say? President Culvering books still playing pretend Kamala Harris is busy blowing people.
00:34:42
Speaker
Sean Diddy Combs, you know, Oprah's friend, Harvey Weinstein's friend, everyone's scummy under suspicion of shady crap and everyone's weird and or uber-wealthy's friend, you know, the guy charged with racketeering and running a human trafficking operation. He recently blamed Costco for his one thousand bottles of baby oil. Or maybe he's just a big homo. Could be.
00:35:06
Speaker
In, I assume that was already a thing news. The U.S. Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals recently ruled that illegals do not have the right to bear arms. Phew, for a second there, I thought I was living in a declining communist society. I'm sensing a little sarcasm. Oh, I almost forgot. Michelle... Those are balls. Obama has marketed a new, healthy soda. She appeared in person at Costco to shill it. It's spelled P-L-E-Z-I.
00:35:37
Speaker
Yeah, strike one. You can't pronounce it from sight. Is it please-ee or pleasant? Like part lesbian? Whatever. She says it has less sugar and more fiber and twice the penis of the leading brand. You know, this whole humor fat is pretty much on the way out.
00:36:00
Speaker
A few more bites from the a la carte menu. Here we go. I saw someone wearing a t-shirt that read, solar is the future. No, it ain't. Solar power is simply different. Newer, sure, not the future. If you ever say something is the future, that's saying it's the answer, and solar is not that. It's just different.
00:36:22
Speaker
We've been using electricity, coal, gas, oil for the longest time because it works. Full proof. Solar might be used in the future more than it is now, but it is not the future. Just because they're spending countless hours and billions of dollars researching on how to harness it doesn't mean It's the future. In fact, all that time and money spent proves that it is not the future. Get back to me when wind and solar are as efficient as gas, coal, oil, and electricity. Until then... Shut Shut the fuck up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut, shut, shut, shut, shut up!
00:37:02
Speaker
Shut up! So if I got this right, millions of evil people are selling children to tens of millions of even more evil people. But the rest of us in America and worldwide are funding it via our taxes and we suffer through it by losing our children to the same evil people that we are supposed to fund and idolize on film, TV, stage and in sport, finance and politics. Do I have that right?
00:37:28
Speaker
Yeah, Trump's the problem in the world. You never open your mouth till you know what the shot is. Argentina keeps on crushing it ever since President Malay took over and eradicated a good chunk of corruption. Their stock is the best performing in the last quarter and rent is down 40% there. I'm sure it's a coincidence and ridding our government of corruption wouldn't have nearly the positive impact. that Argentina had. Wait a minute, you're being sarcastic. No sarcasm here, I don't dare. Italian Prime Minister Giorgia Maloney said simply, from now on, if you enter Italy illegally, you will be immediately deported. Italians!
00:38:07
Speaker
I'll say it. New York Senator Chuck Schumer looks like the devil in the hot sauce label. And Jemima is the problem. We have an evil logo living amongst us. so he's more evil now Funny with all the inflation, the price of alcohol and cigarettes has barely risen. Stay numb, America.
00:38:24
Speaker
Stock and Janet Jackson went up with me when she recently fired a representative of hers who apologized on her behalf when Janet Jackson said that Kamala Harris is not black, which she isn't. That lie should infuriate you, amateurs. Fine then, I'm black. Called it. Oh, and I'm trans too. Hey, if Kamala's gonna change her race, I'm sure her sex is soon on the way.
00:38:46
Speaker
Meanwhile, alleged President Joe Biden recently appeared on ABC's The View to discuss the 2024 election. He said that he abruptly dropped out of the 2024 election in July because he had so much success. What happened to that post on X that said, I'm sick? Biden said, we are having so much success as far as getting things done. Yeah, we're plowing forward with our communist plan.
00:39:11
Speaker
that people thought we couldn't get done. I find myself having used more time than I would have ordinarily to, you know, pass that torch to Kamala. Biden told Whoopi Goldberg. He's an idiot. Comes from upbringing. Parents are probably idiots, too. Which is worse, Biden being allowed to speak what he said or that our current president was on the view or that he said that delusion to Whoopi Goldberg, whose real name, ironically, is Karen.
00:39:41
Speaker
Can we please stop calling everybody ambassadors of companies and brands? I'm a brand ambassador. No, you're a spokesperson, okay? Ambassador, what do you have? Diplomatic immunity? Shut the fuck up. Okay, fine. I'm the comedy secretary of state.
00:39:56
Speaker
Speaking of spokespersons, have you seen this new commercial with Kevin Hart for Chase Bank? He's walking in like a bull in a china shop, high-fiving people. They're stopping what they're doing to high-five them. Yeah, I know you're closing on your first home, but it's Kevin Hart! Good luck doing that in your bank. See how long you go before security throws you out. Not to mention, name any bank, help any American business this that has that kind of excitement and customer service nowadays.
00:40:22
Speaker
Every generation complains about the decaying of society amongst the current generation. It's always been that way. What was it like in the year, I don't know, 20 AD? Man, ever since zero, the world's gone to shit. Am I right? Oh, you have no idea. Back in the BCs, like the late BCs? Oh, you could walk down the streets without some fucking Philistine hitting you in the head with a rock for your 30 pieces of silver. Well, that's not in the Bible, but it should be. Three things that are done right. These are three pro things. Number one.
00:40:54
Speaker
Try this great post on for size by alert pro Nick Fritas on X and a great example of how propaganda by the commies works. He said, the left, no one is eating people's pets, which means we're one week away from, why do you care that people are eating pets? Three weeks away from, why eating pets is a good thing. And four weeks away from, refusing to eat pets is white supremacy. That was kick ass. Number two. um All right, this was found everywhere and originally broadcast live on CNN. As a child, all of no more than 10 is being interviewed by a CNN reporter. Live TV, here we go. What's the first word that pops into your head when you hear the name Kamala Harris? Liar.
00:41:42
Speaker
Alert Pro David J. Harris Jr. commented, protect this kid at all costs. Look, I don't know how this brilliant child arrived at that conclusion, but consider this. Kids in general don't like injustice, like on any level. I mean, how often do you hear a child say, no fair, even when one sibling gets a slightly larger piece of pizza or cake? Now, that being said, when Kamala Harris claims to be black or African-American, if you're an amateur, when it's proven that she's not to a child, duh,
00:42:10
Speaker
That warrants a liar. Number three.
00:42:17
Speaker
My book and drive our comedy special is based on my stand up. My podcast is based on my book. All three are entitled amateur nation with the book subtitle being the decline of common sense manners and social skills. You hear me mention these three things at the top of all 298 episodes and counting plus the ads that run during this podcast.
00:42:36
Speaker
These amateurs are the people who are doing life wrong. And here are the alert pros at Deltas Pets underscore GG on Instagram with examples I'd swear they took right from my book. Video makes it better, but this audio stands on its own. Ready to shake your head in agreement and yell, yes!
00:42:57
Speaker
hit it.
00:43:15
Speaker
Well, I'm all
00:44:15
Speaker
Make your voice and your votes heard. Subscribe to this show and find all my social media links when you go to LouSantini.com. Ever vocal? Never silent fellow pros. Don't tolerate amateurs in their America last agenda. 2024 is the year of the great resist. Amateur Nation is not just a podcast.
00:44:35
Speaker
It's a movement by God. Remember Amateurs, we see you. You're not at home. Don't do life wrong. Go Pro. Don't be an amateur. For Amateur Nation, I'm Lou Santini and this is a major production.
00:44:57
Speaker
Huh. Well, that's not in the Bible, but it should be. There's been an odd shift in human behavior over the last 15-plus years. A sense of entitlement. A constant need for attention. Ironically, coupled with the need to be left alone. A desire to be treated the same as everyone else. Stupidly combined with the mindset of, I'm special, so treat me accordingly. Introducing the book, Amateur Nation. The decline of common sense manners and social skills. The second edition. Inside, you'll read, The amateur mission statement. The 30 truths about amateurs. The four stages of being an amateur. Amateur habitats and history. Social media plus me, me, me equals amateur. Technology and amateur behavior. With dozens of real funny photos, weird signs, and laugh out loud real life accounts and actual conversations vividly showing how us pros are surrounded by amateur nation every day. Download the expanded second edition of the e-book amateur nation. The decline of common sense manners and social skills. The second expanded edition, available now. Be a pro. Go to Amazon. Type amateur nation.