Transcript
Speaker: Hello beautiful Sol and welcome back to another installment of the with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. i'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
Speaker: Whether we're going to be diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
Speaker: So if you struggled with putting everybody else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
Speaker: So come grow with me. One of the things that I actually recently was talking about that I thoroughly miss, okay, with my entire being, with my soul, is being bored.
Speaker: It came up in conversation with some co-workers recently and I was just like, like I felt it. And even one of my co-workers was like, i can I can tell that you mean that. I can feel it just by how you said it And it's like, yes, I miss being bored. Granted, things have been incredibly stressful lately.
Speaker: So it's it's been busy, busy with this, busy with that. I should be doing this. I should be doing that. All the shoulds that we shouldn't be doing. Um, but it's gotten to the point where like, I'm just so busy that it feels guilty. Like I feel guilty taking a break, even though I really need one.
Speaker: And then like it's so busy that I'm working constantly, And even when I take a break to go to the gym, which honestly, i didn't go to the gym at all last week. Crazy.
Speaker: Okay. I didn't go to the gym. I didn't go to jujitsu. Like I was just, I was just tired. was like, why, why, why? I stuck to my nutrition plan. Yay But um didn't go to the gym.
Speaker: Anyway, that's just to show you how tired I actually have been, you know? Yeah. Tired, busy, just working or...
Speaker: dissociating, I suppose, and sleeping. So yeah, I really miss being bored. And the thing is about boredom, my experience of boredom, like growing up as a kid, it's like you have nothing to do.
Speaker: And even as you got older, it's like you did all your homework, you've cleaned your room, you've done your chores, you've done everything you needed to do, and now there's just nothing to do. And it's like i don't feel like watching a movie.
Speaker: Oddly enough, maybe i don't feel like reading. Maybe i already spent a couple hours reading. I'm done with that. I'm bored. Like that that feeling of like everything is done.
Speaker: You've done the things that you like to do to have fun. And now there's just time to feel or fill that. I miss that. miss that so much.
Speaker: It definitely feels like boredom at this point in my life is like a luxury. Like I wish I had the time to be bored. But here's the thing. It's something that I wanted to look into because i have definitely, like I have felt like mental exhaustion where like my brain just feels full.
Speaker: And like, you know that scene in Harry Potter where Dumbledore like takes his thoughts out, his memories out and puts it in the pensive? Like, like I want one of those. There have been so like, I feel like when I got into like my late twenty s until like now, the amount of times I wish I had one of those and I could do that. Like, this is just a lot. Let me just take it out of my head and put it over there for now. You know, like ah.
Speaker: That'd be phenomenal. Where was I going with this? Oh, my God. Anyway, like my brain just feels full and taking a break doesn't always feel fruitful.
Speaker: so I really wanted to look into that and like my thoughts on boredom recently. And the thing is. There are benefits to being bored. So let's get into it. What exactly is boredom? It is often characterized by the feelings of dissatisfaction, restlessness, and even mental fatigue.
Speaker: It often happens when, like I mentioned before, our brains struggle to feel fill time. Like there's just time. What are we going to do with it? There's an abundance of time.
Speaker: um And you know you kind of have that, like like you need to do something kind of a feeling when you're bored. like You want to do something, maybe you don't know what to do, or like you're done with the tasks that you've been doing maybe for a few hours, and you're just like, my brain is like, I'm immensely fatigued by this, but I still have energy to want to do something else, don't know what that is. So it's like different shades of boredom, essentially.
Speaker: But we have a basic common understanding of what boredom is. The thing is most people nowadays, i don't think are really allowing themselves to feel bored. And and I've put all my references that i looked at for this in the show notes. So definitely take a look at all that.
Speaker: But come to find out, the reason that people don't experience boredom as much as we used to is because it's the damn phones. Okay, our parents were right. It's the phones. So with the advent of technology, the advent of mobile phones, the advent of your phone becoming a computer, also the tablets that we have all the time with us, there's just less opportunity to feel bored and there's less opportunity to feel bored
Speaker: over time, you know, because you remember like as a kid, you were bored and like it just lasted a long time. You're like, what do I do? I walked around. If you're like me, maybe I'm going to go eat something because I'm bored. Don't do that.
Speaker: But I did. And like you're trying to figure out what to do. You're coping. You're figuring it out. You're troubleshooting. you know, if you have siblings, you go bug them like, you know, you you are figuring out what you need to do.
Speaker: Essentially, the second that we feel even like a little bit bored, a little bit restless and don't know what to do with ourselves, we pick up a phone. I mean, think about it. I did this recently. i feel like I do this every day.
Speaker: We're like, say like you're in line somewhere and like you're in line at a coffee shop. Instead of just standing there waiting or maybe, you know, looking at the menu, talking to somebody behind you, i would never do that, but I feel like extroverts do. Like instead of just waiting silently like place your order, what do you do You're in line. The person in front of you is taking too long to order. ye take out your phone.
Speaker: You know, you're in line anywhere. You take out your phone. You're in a waiting room. You take out your phone. Oh, I think that's where I was. I was at the dentist, I think, recently. No, the optometrist. I was at my optometrist. Finally, I'm getting you glasses. But instead of like just...
Speaker: Sitting waiting, i took out my phone and then I decided to not do that because I was at the optometrist and i was like really, Marisol? Your main problem is you're always staring at a screen and now you're at the optometrist staring at a screen.
Speaker: So I decided since I was very early to my appointment to just shuffle around and look at glasses, you know? Yeah. Anyway, easy like I'm guilty of this, too. But it's it's so easy for us to just take out our phones the second we feel any, like, hint, any, like, schmidgen of boredom.
Speaker: You know, we have our preferred social media app. And the thing is also, i don't know, let me know if you guys do this too, because i I'm guilty just like everyone else. um You go to your phone, you have your preferred social media app.
Speaker: Maybe that's not hitting the way it was before. so then you go to your second favorite social media app and then like that stops hitting. So then you go back to the original one to see if there's new stuff the, you know, FYP is going to feed you.
Speaker: And it's just this vicious cycle. Like me, i go to TikTok. That doesn't hit. I go to IG. That doesn't hit. I go back to TikTok. See what's new.
Speaker: I might go to threads. that's That's what I do. And we do this also when we take breaks. Like if you're at work and if you're like me, you work in front of a computer, you you you need to take a break from the work you do because it's a lull on your brain. You're thinking. You're thinking very hard, you're thinking very hard things, doing a lot of mental work.
Speaker: You're like, i need I need to take my 10. What you do? what do you do Bam, your phone. So you go from medium screen to little screen. How is that helping you rest? It's not actually like going to your phone to doom scroll on social media is not actually helping and you're not truly resting, which is why when you do that, you feel worse.
Speaker: When you need to take a break and you reach for your phone to be on social media, you probably notice that you don't actually feel rested. You don't feel re-energized. You often just feel worse.
Speaker: And the thing is, it has been shown that overuse of social media can result in increased loneliness, anxiety, depression, and in an inability to focus.
Speaker: When what are we trying to do? Have happy, healthy lives that are productive. Okay, that's what we're trying to do, especially when it's at work. We're trying to be productive. But our habit of reaching for our phone when we are even infinitesimally feeling a little bit bored, it's detracting. It's it's hurting us in the long run.
Speaker: So what are then the benefits of being bored? it allows your mind to wander. You know, when you when you let your mind be free and let it go wherever it wants to go, what what can happen?
Speaker: New ideas, some innovations, creativity. you can it can be the spark to something, maybe a little bit of an inspiration, maybe even strengthening your problem solving and adaptability.
Speaker: How many times have you been in the shower and then it hit you? Like you got a good idea or like the question you've been asking yourself, you finally have the answer to it. Like that kind of stuff, like your brain is still processing all that information and going through everything.
Speaker: So when you finally allow it to rest, you're doing something that is yeah more or less mindless, like taking a shower, say. it allows your brain to keep working on those other things without the pressure of like having to figure it out.
Speaker: And then you figure it out. You let your mind do its thing. Okay. That is one of the main benefits, I would say, of being bored, giving your mind a break, you know?
Speaker: Being bored, essentially, like I've just mentioned, does give your brain a break from all the like intentional hard processing that it's doing all the time. And it essentially allows it to relax.
Speaker: It can alleviate stress. So yes, being bored it can alleviate some stress a little bit. Although part of me does often think like if I am bored, it's because I finished everything I need to do. And the stress relief of that, girl, you know, i would i would love to feel that again because I feel like there is always a something to do, which is tiring, you know? Yeah, I know you know.
Speaker: The other thing about being bored, and this is especially seen in like kids, teenagers, is a self-regulation. But I do think that we as adults need this again to some extent because we are always reaching to our phones, which is not the healthiest form of self-regulation.
Speaker: But being bored allows us to practice self-regulation. It gives us the ability to focus and, and like you know, self-regulate. And that is correlated, essentially being able to self-regulate, self-regulate is correlated to being able to like handle boredom, cope, troubleshoot boredom.
Speaker: So that's especially seen in children, teenagers, like adolescents. But I do think that maybe we as adults need to learn how to handle boredom again.
Speaker: You know, I feel like my generation, I'm 36. We definitely dealt with boredom as kids. You know, we didn't have technology all like that, like kids do now.
Speaker: So maybe, but now that we do have all the technology, like we also need to practice boredom again little bit. A little bit. We still have responsibilities, you know, just little bit.
Speaker: So how do we go about doing this? How do we let ourselves be bored? You know, if you are maybe very type A, if you need to pencil it in because you're so busy and like you need to take a break, you need to be intentional about how you take your breaks, pencil it in put it on your calendar, get the notification on your phone.
Speaker: um You know, we got to work with where we're at. And put some structure around it. Where you are, maybe, maybe. Because in all my research, my my readings for this, like there were some things where they're giving you tips and tricks to practice allowing yourself to be bored. And like some of it just felt like it sounded like intro level meditation. So maybe, maybe you want to start a meditation practice while we're here.
Speaker: you know, as not so bad. I have been thinking personally, I have been thinking that maybe I need to start meditating again. Because the stress is You know, and meditation does give me designated time away from any technology, which just mean my thoughts and my brain wandering.
Speaker: So. Maybe you and me, us, okay, us, we're gonna start a meditation practice. Maybe, maybe. and Another thing that we can do that will allow us to foster boredom essentially is do activities that do not require technology or even like super high level thinking.
Speaker: um One of the things that I do I talk about it on this podcast often is reading. I love reading and I specifically love reading on like on love reading physical books. Okay. I like to get away. one of the things I'm trying to do more is getting away from screens at the same time. I don't own a mansion and I don't have my own personal library to fill. So I can't have too many physical books, which is a problem. Okay.
Speaker: It is a problem. It is a hardship that I deal with. So with that being said, i do have an e-reader and I do tend to also purchase e-books. So.
Speaker: It's still on a screen, but it is e-ink. So it's a little bit different. It's supposed to be out free your eyes. And I don't have any social media on my e-reader. So there is that.
Speaker: But i do one of when I do read, i cut i'd like to take away as much technology as possible so that I can just dive into the story of the book. And the thing is, eventually, no matter what, I'm going to get bored of reading.
Speaker: Usually. they Depending on the story. you know, depend depending, depending on the genre as well. Even if I'm enjoying the book, eventually an hour will go by, maybe two hours will go by. And now I'm like, o that's enough of that.
Speaker: What else can I do? Maybe I need to do something else. i as much as I love this, I've had my fill for the day. You know, that feeling as well. It's not like, it's not like bored of it, but like,
Speaker: I've had enough. and need to move on. So for me, that's like, and also depending on the genre, it's not high level thinking reading either. It's just pure enjoyment and entertainment.
Speaker: There's that as well. So maybe, you know, that's my little step that I do. Maybe you have another activity. Maybe you like to crochet. Maybe you like painting other arts and crafts. Like there is there are other activities that do not require technology or high-level thinking perhaps.
Speaker: Well, maybe the if you're if you're learning how to do a craft, that's different than if you've been doing that craft for like 10, 20 years, you know? But... You know, do you. Allow yourself to be bored. And maybe practicing boredom is not reaching for your phone in small, small settings, like being in line somewhere or in a waiting room or something like that.
Speaker: Do you guys find yourself less and less bored in life? Like, does this resonate with you? Definitely let me know because I definitely feel like I don't feel as bored as I used to. And I don't allow myself to feel bored when I do feel like the inkling of boredom.
Speaker: Do you relate to that? Do you find yourself constantly going to your phone? And, you know, is is your phone a crutch? Do you want to work on this? Let me know. And what will you be doing to work on it?
Speaker: As always, thank you for being here. Definitely appreciate you showing up. If today's episode resonated with you, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review if you were on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. If you're watching this on YouTube, thank you for being here. i Love seeing you. Leave little comment as well. and Don't forget to subscribe.
Speaker: If you also would like some support on things that you are working towards, maybe some self-esteem and confidence, or just need an accountability buddy with something, definitely feel free to reach out to me. I am a certified life coach and you can schedule your very own discovery call through the link in the show notes. Until next time, keep growing.
