Transcript
Speaker: Hello beautiful souls and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
Speaker: Whether we are diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
Speaker: So if you've battled with self-doubt or, you know, put everybody else before you, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
Speaker: So come grow with me. In today's episode, I am going to be talking about having fun. because you know what we're not doing enough in life is having fun.
Speaker: And this might not transcend cultural norms. It might not transcend borders, perhaps. But if you are in the United States, I feel like you're going to be able to relate to this.
Speaker: I was recently having a conversation with a friend of mine about life, about work about life. and We were talking about just feeling like mired in the day to day, like trudge of going to work, like waking up, getting ready, doing the commute, going to work, spending all day in the office and then having a commute back to work again, probably very American and probably very Los Angeles being stuck in traffic as part of that commute. And
Speaker: Not really having time to do anything, not having time to spend time with your loved ones, spend time with your family, spend time with your friends. Even in the evening, like you know you don't have any time even after work to spend with your partner. It's really just wake up, commute, work, commute, dinner, sleep, repeat.
Speaker: And that just kills all of your energy. all of it It sucks dry all or any joy that you had for life. And when you put that into combination with my mind already thinking about creating the life that i want and my own thoughts on having the life that, that, that, that i want to build and not just, and not just like financially what I can provide for myself, but like, how do I want to feel in my life?
Speaker: Quick side note, if you can hear Mochi is drinking water for a very long time. And he's right here. um In case you're able to hear that, that is Mochi hydrating, being a hydrated king, okay? um He's right here. But um with that being said, it's not just...
Speaker: creating the life financially, but also like creating the life, like lifestyle and like how you want to feel in life. And I think a lot of that has to do with how much fun we're having and how we're connecting with other people. So I wanted to take a moment in today's episode or just in this podcast to talk about Things you can do, very simple things you can do to start having more fun immediately and so start connecting with others and the important people in your life immediately as well.
Speaker: So let's get into it. All right. This is going to be, you're probably going think, Marisol, duh, obviously. But are you doing this?
Speaker: before you give me give you some sass, are you doing this? And that is schedule it ahead of time. Put it on the calendar right now, okay? That's what it is. And it's not so much just make the plan, put it on the calendar, but it's also doing the research ahead of time.
Speaker: So one thing that tends to happen to me, because I want, let me let me put it this way.
Speaker: Part of the fun of things is also looking forward to something. It's not just being in the moment. it's sort The anticipation of something is also part of the fun.
Speaker: And When you which again goes back to that, like trudgery of life of wake up, commute, to work, commute, dinner, sleep, repeat, you're not looking forward to anything anymore.
Speaker: And that's part of the problem. So when you schedule things, it helps solve the problem. On top of that, that's context. But on top of that, I'm the type of person I've come to realize in terms of like analyzing things for this episode, I'm the type of person that likes to go to events.
Speaker: I like to do that. I like to go to events. i don't I don't do that often. And I think part of it is because of a lack of organization, a lack of scheduling, if you will. So I know that there are events coming up that I would like to do, but it's just messy in my mind until I see it again on Instagram. And I'm like, oh yeah, that's the thing I wanted to do.
Speaker: So to solve said problem, of not having to look forward to and also the messy mind problem, I decided literally two today to schedule November in advance, go through all the Instagram accounts that I know tend to like have fun events.
Speaker: I went through all of them. I picked out the events that make sense for me, make sense for my budget, make sense for like my schedule and what I can possibly do. And I put them on my calendar.
Speaker: Okay. I know there events are events that you want to do, that you want to go to Look them up, put them on your calendar, buy the tickets if necessary, and put them on the calendar.
Speaker: Okay? And I have pretty much an event scheduled every week. I think every week except the week of Thanksgiving, which I did just find another event that's happening on the 29th that I might go to.
Speaker: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. might. I might. I just might. We'll see. It's an event that I've been wanting to go to for years, and I just, I never have. But that's also the week of Thanksgiving and then, like, family. And so I don't know if i can go, but I might have an event that I do every single week in the month of November, which is so cool because, you know, we all want to have a life.
Speaker: We want to do things. want to have things to look forward to. So why not? Why not? So... You might be thinking, am I just going to be solo dating the entirety of everything? No, you do not have to. You definitely can.
Speaker: You can do some of these things by yourself. For me personally, i have a little bit of a mix. ah Some of them are solo dates. Some of them are mochi focused. You know, mochi is my dog. um There is an event next week or is it this weekend? I think it's this weekend. There's like a doggy event going on.
Speaker: And they're going to have like they're going to have vendors and things. i don't plan on spending a lot of money on Moji ah more than I already do on a monthly basis. But it could be fun. it could be good socialization for him and for me. Let's be real.
Speaker: We both need the socialization. We're both very introverted beings. So there's that. But, you know, that's that. And then some of the events I had planned are also meant for hanging out with friends.
Speaker: So it's a really good mix, something that i've wasnt that I was intentional about as well. So ultimately, with planning everything in advance, you're solving that problem that I mentioned before of not having anything to look forward to, this problem of feeling like you don't have a life.
Speaker: feeling like you don't have enough time to do things, because that also happens when you're stuck in the commute and in the work and in the exhaustion of all of it. You feel like you don't have time to do things. So you end up not doing anything.
Speaker: And then you end up feeling like your life is just boring. But if you schedule it ahead of time, you realize that you do have time for the people you love in your life, for hanging out with them, and for doing cool shit.
Speaker: Okay? You have the time. You just need to be intentional with your time and put it on your calendar. Okay? Put it on your calendar, buy the tickets, invite the people, do the thing. Okay?
Speaker: Okay. Second thing that you can do to immediately start having fun in your life. Be the person to reach out.
Speaker: I said what I said. You need to be that person to make the plans. Instead of all of us just waiting around to be invited to do something, instead of all instead of us just always constantly going on solo dates, be that person who initiates the plans to hang out or go do something fucking cool.
Speaker: especially, please, especially do this if a friendship is new. You don't have a dynamic yet. You don't have anything set in stone. So just, you don't have that, when a friendship is new, you don't have that, like, comfortable connection of like,
Speaker: just reaching out for no reason. Okay? Like, I do have friendships where it's like, we don't even say hi or bye anymore. We just have one continuous, like, conversation that has lasted decades at this point, you know?
Speaker: You don't have that when a friendship is new. So be the person to reach out. Be the person to initiate things. I really think that people nowadays are very hesitant to be that person. And i think it can be a little bit daunting in today's culture, especially from different conversations that I've been observing, participating in, and like information I've been taking in from conversations happening online, where in today's culture,
Speaker: a lot of people are very flaky. what You'll have instances and people talking like online about these things where they'll have an event or they'll plan something for their friends or whatever. And they invite, say, 30 people, 20 people twenty people are as vp And then last minute, you'll get, you know, a few people who say five people last minute who, you know, it's like, I can't make it. They cancel on you.
Speaker: And then like from there, whatever's left over, like half just don't show up or even more than half just don't show up. And it's like, what the fuck? What the fuck? Like, at least some people told you no. And some people told you, hey, by the way, i like, turns out I'm not going to make it.
Speaker: But all the people that flake, that seems to be pervasive. That seems to be like a new phenomenon. like en masse that is happening throughout society at the moment.
Speaker: And when you have that, when you have people off the by off the bat, just like on the jump telling you no, and then even more people just flaking on you after saying they were going to show up, it's so disheartening. So I can see why if that tends to be your experience, you don't want to initiate plans.
Speaker: But I would say that being the person to initiate plans is setting the example for these other people. And maybe you need to create boundaries. Maybe you need to realize I always invite Sarah. She always flakes on me. Maybe Sarah's a flake and we need to stop inviting Sarah.
Speaker: And you can make that call. But i do think that if we want to create community and create stronger connections and create more fun memories with our friends and our loved ones, we need to be that person to start reaching out.
Speaker: To give you a couple of examples, I do have myself as an example and also a friend of mine. i do have someone who is a close friend of mine who would be like a really good example of this type of person who is initiating and creates opportunities and environments for people to connect.
Speaker: So he has his own place. When he first moved in, there was like a housewarming. he invited all of his friend groups. If you're the type of person who has multiple friend groups that don't interact, He said to the hell with that, all my friend groups are going to be interacting, housewarming, birthday party, during the World Cup. Like he had people over to watch some of the games and it's like, we're all just meeting each other and mingling and meeting cool people because you know we all get along with him. So chances are we're all gonna get along with each other, which for the most part, that is the case.
Speaker: On top of that, he has another friend who has their own place. And one of the things that people talk about a lot online, especially in the United States, is like, why do people don't have house parties anymore? And it's because people don't have houses anymore, okay?
Speaker: All the boomers have the houses going be throwing the house parties. But this person does. So that's something that he's been trying to influence this friend with. Like, if you fix up your house so that's nice, you invite people over,
Speaker: It would have been so cool to be like throwing parties and like hangouts and like barbecues and stuff. It would have been so much fun. Missed opportunity, my guy. so not only do you have this person who is proactively creating these opportunities for a community and for hanging out, but then also mentoring and inspiring others to also do the same.
Speaker: And then if you look at myself as an example as well of this, of initiating, i did take the time, let's say for the month of November, for example, to invite friends to go out with me, whether that be i got tickets to see heated rivalry in theater. I'm so excited about that.
Speaker: I invited a new friend of mine to go do that. And i was like, hey, have you seen it? She has not seen Heated Rivalry. But I was just like, do you want to see? you want to see the first two episodes in theater with me this Friday? And now we're going.
Speaker: And then another friend of mine. I was like, hey, do you want to go to this like festival that's happening? Not a music festival, well guys. I'm not that cool. But like a stationary festival. Do you want to go to the stationary festival? um It's happening, blah, blah, blah.
Speaker: And she was like, yeah, totally. So we got tickets to go to the stationary festival and I'm going to spend hella money on washi tape and stickers, okay? but But I took the initiative to and invite these people to do things that, yeah, I probably could have done by myself. But why?
Speaker: When it could be done with community as well. And now I have two really cool things that I'm looking forward to in the month of November. So not only do I have that anticipation fun, but then it's going to be fun when I'm hanging out with friends and doing something cool, in my opinion.
Speaker: Okay, cool. So ultimately, instead of being mired in your isolating day-to-day life, put in the effort to create a life you look forward to.
Speaker: It doesn't even have to involve spending a lot of money. I know I mentioned a couple of things. I'm going to be spending money. You don't have to do that. It really could be as simple as inviting friends over for a potluck or inviting them over to watch a movie or something or like hanging out.
Speaker: It could be as simple and as economical as that. If you'd say for this entire episode, I truly appreciate you. Thank you for kicking it with me.
Speaker: Thank you for hearing this out. If it resonated with you, don't forget to give it a like. And let me know in the comments down below some cool things that maybe you're looking forward to doing in the month of November. And maybe that is just Thanksgiving and eating all the food. That's totally cool. Let me know what favorite dishes for Thanksgiving.
Speaker: But also, if you haven't subscribed, definitely go ahead and subscribe as well. And share this out with somebody who you think can really benefit from this information. Ultimately, i am certified life coach and I am currently accepting clients. if you would like some accountability, some help on your journey, definitely schedule your own discovery calls me to the link in the show notes.
Speaker: Until next time, keep growing.
