Transcript
Speaker: Aliens watching reality TV.
Speaker: Welcome back to Aliens watching reality TV.
Speaker: Today we are talking about Love is Blind season 4 episode 10.
Speaker: I'm Erica and I'm here with my co-alien.
Speaker: Josh.
Speaker: I feel like every single episode I do.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As long as that's on purpose.
Speaker: What do you do every single episode?
Speaker: I'm going to throw it to you to like introduce yourself and that always takes like an awkwardly long pause.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I do take a minute.
Speaker: I, it like, I don't know how to introduce myself.
Speaker: Like, what do I say?
Speaker: And I am, I don't know.
Speaker: Ruler of the five realms.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah, if you want.
Speaker: And then we spend the rest of the podcast interrupting each other and talking over each other.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You're used to that by now.
Speaker: And I am really, really, I'm kind of surprised.
Speaker: It's so mutual.
Speaker: I'm really surprised that people listen to us talking over each other and are like, oh, this is good content.
Speaker: I mean, I think people with ADHD are like, ah, finally, more than one thing at once.
Speaker: I know, right?
Speaker: Like, I just, I hate when, I just cannot do the normal way of listening to things.
Speaker: I either have to, like, make it go faster on YouTube.
Speaker: Um, or like slower to learn it.
Speaker: Or I don't know, just I, I have to listen to I've learned that I need to listen to one song.
Speaker: Otherwise, if I listen to different songs, my mood alters.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I love listening to one song on repeat for unreasonable amounts of time.
Speaker: Yeah, it just it.
Speaker: I mean, it does a couple of things, but I think for me, a couple of the things that it does is one, it blocks out sounds outside that I'm really sensitive to that kind of stuff.
Speaker: I just want to not know what's going on outside.
Speaker: And the second thing that it does is that it focuses my energy.
Speaker: Like I am – my mind isn't like sort of – I'm suddenly – I'm not like dragged out of my whatever I'm doing.
Speaker: I stay there.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's the vibe.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I wish that my phone would play music and podcasts at the same time.
Speaker: It really annoys me that it won't.
Speaker: I want both.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Also, that's one thing that's a bummer about TikTok.
Speaker: And I totally get it.
Speaker: But it's just like too many of my followers have like problems with having music and other things at the same time.
Speaker: So I just can't put music in any of my videos or it's too hard for a lot of people to understand.
Speaker: So I don't.
Speaker: But if they were just for me, I would put music under everything because I like music and talking at the same time.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, music is amazing.
Speaker: The problem, I kind of have a similar problem myself.
Speaker: You know, the problem of... That's not surprising.
Speaker: We have a lot of similar problems.
Speaker: Yeah, the problem of... I kind of like having music in the background when I'm thinking, but if I am reading, then I can't have it.
Speaker: Reading has to be silence.
Speaker: What about classical music?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, we settled that.
Speaker: I like that we started off with a tangent when we were like, we're going to keep these episodes short, focused.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because we are planning on making these 30-minute episodes today.
Speaker: Honestly, because we're running out of time before then the next episode goes live.
Speaker: And then it's going to be time for episode 12.
Speaker: And then who cares about 10 and 11 anymore, you know?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: So we're going to do our best.
Speaker: We're going to sort of focus on the main, like most interesting parts of these episodes and kind of skip over like, oh, and then they tried on dresses, you know, and for some reason their wedding color is periwinkle.
Speaker: I, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Periwinkle is probably the last color on Earth I'd ever picked, but that's just me.
Speaker: Anyways, I just said we weren't going to talk about it, and then I slid it in anyway.
Speaker: Ew, I didn't like this phrase.
Speaker: I mean, you did one good thing.
Speaker: Now I know what periwinkle means.
Speaker: Oh, yeah?
Speaker: This was the first time?
Speaker: This was the first time I know what the color is.
Speaker: And it's actually not a bad color.
Speaker: I like periwinkle.
Speaker: Just not for a wedding.
Speaker: It's just like kind of blah.
Speaker: But like, I like, you know, orange.
Speaker: Like, I have problems.
Speaker: Wait, wait.
Speaker: You like orange?
Speaker: Yeah, I love orange.
Speaker: I like orange too.
Speaker: One of my nephews loves orange and I always want to have a connection with him.
Speaker: So I love orange for his sake.
Speaker: My favorite like palette of colors is like a orange, like hot pink and yellow, red all together.
Speaker: I love that shit.
Speaker: Yeah, not a big pink fan.
Speaker: I like it.
Speaker: It took me a long time to like it, probably because I just rejected everything girly because it was like, you will not make me into a girl.
Speaker: But now I've relaxed a little bit.
Speaker: You're not a pink on the store.
Speaker: I can wear pink and, you know, it doesn't make you into a gender that you don't want to be.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Well, I mean, I'm happy for you.
Speaker: Thank you so much.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Well, I mean, talking about people who do have somewhat rigid ideas of gender, this episode starts with the big meeting between Jackie and Josh.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: At the coffee shop.
Speaker: I'll admit.
Speaker: I found Jackie's like.
Speaker: Descent into villainy.
Speaker: Really not fun to watch.
Speaker: Just kind of a bummer.
Speaker: No it was not fun.
Speaker: Listen.
Speaker: I just.
Speaker: I have read about what is happening.
Speaker: In her life a little bit.
Speaker: And it all kind of made sense.
Speaker: But throughout.
Speaker: If you go back to our episodes.
Speaker: Throughout the whole.
Speaker: post engagement thing, I was like, can we please meet Jackie's family?
Speaker: Can we know what's going on with that situation?
Speaker: And we were never allowed that view.
Speaker: But now we know through Jackie herself, that she had two very big things happening.
Speaker: One, one of her parents is battling cancer.
Speaker: And so she has to take care of that parent every weekend.
Speaker: And then the second thing was one of her, at least at the timing of the filming of these episodes.
Speaker: And the second thing was one of her brothers got out of prison.
Speaker: So she was apparently... That seems like a good thing.
Speaker: Helping with that situation as well.
Speaker: But that still means a lot is going on in your life and you are not like...
Speaker: I mean, let us not forget.
Speaker: I do acknowledge that and empathize with that.
Speaker: I do feel like also it's it doesn't have anything to do with like her being homophobic and stuff.
Speaker: And so like, I can't wait.
Speaker: Whoa, we need to discuss that.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Well, I get, okay, my gosh, let's just get into it then before we talk about the scenes.
Speaker: Yeah, there's been a lot of like leaks from Jackie's life, probably because she doesn't know how to maintain good long-term relationships.
Speaker: So her friends from like a year ago have been like leaking their texts and stuff.
Speaker: And
Speaker: In like a group chat with some friends, she was texting like homophobic stuff about Marshall basically like.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: And yeah, thinking like he is maybe gay or bi because he just like was, I think because he was twerking on the bed once and because he's too emotional.
Speaker: And it was just like very emotional.
Speaker: It was insulting and I really hated it.
Speaker: And honestly, I felt like if production knew about this a year ago, they should have fired her.
Speaker: And if this is real now, she shouldn't be included in any love is blind shit in the future because like homophobia isn't just like part of drama.
Speaker: It's not just like, I did not know about this.
Speaker: um i did save the texts i can find them real quick when did this come up i think this has just been like in the last week or so like uh since a lot of this shit has kind of come yeah public there there's there's a couple of things here
Speaker: There's not a couple things.
Speaker: There's multiple things here to impact.
Speaker: But I mean, I think the first thing is that homophobia is unacceptable.
Speaker: So, um, I don't care what Jackie's business is elsewhere.
Speaker: This is unacceptable.
Speaker: Like I, I don't want to be seeing her again.
Speaker: Um, okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I found the texts.
Speaker: Um, so he gives me vibes y'all.
Speaker: I kind of hinted at that in the interview and all hell broke loose.
Speaker: So I had to like switch it up.
Speaker: But he for show gives me vibes because he used to twerk on the bed.
Speaker: And I told, I cannot like just read the way she writes because it sounds ridiculous coming out of my mouth.
Speaker: But I told him I was cool off that.
Speaker: And he was like, yeah.
Speaker: So now this time I told him to be more aggressive with me.
Speaker: He's hard for show, but sometimes he can be dot dot sweet.
Speaker: in all caps and apparently that means gay or bi.
Speaker: Erica, I can't hear you.
Speaker: You can't?
Speaker: Okay, we figured that out.
Speaker: Continuing my dramatic reading of these texts.
Speaker: Yeah, so she said he's hard for show, but sometimes he can be dot dot in all caps sweet, which did you know that that was a slang for queer?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I didn't either, but apparently it is.
Speaker: And that's well known on many other people.
Speaker: So also you can kind of tell like she's meaning something by it, by the way, she's like putting it in all caps.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So this is her saying like Marshall X too gay for me.
Speaker: And then, yeah, her friend responds, again, in all caps, twerk on the bed, LMFAO, Jackie, good for you.
Speaker: Also, communicating how bad of a turnoff that shit is, WTH.
Speaker: Which, like, that's so, I don't know, that just right there bothers me of, like, you're going to pretend that that's good communication, shaming somebody for, like, how they express themselves?
Speaker: Like, why are you adopting, like, self-help speak for bigotry?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, that's just the good for you also for communicating how bad of a turnoff that shit is with the hack.
Speaker: That's like, yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: good for you it's so gross and then that tweet jackie confirming that she's in a relationship with josh telling her broochat she has to make it to the altar with marshall for cloud and being homophobic as it appears she has been seeing josh throughout the filming after the pods whoa yeah so she continues and says yes he will twerk on the bed and i was like yeah no that's not gonna fly big homie lol and then he will talk like yes and i'm like what question question that's the damn truth
Speaker: We gotta make it stretch for TV.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: And I don't want to hear y'all at my wedding yelling about how he got sugar in his tank either.
Speaker: Please.
Speaker: I can just hear somebody that they've blacked out yelling he's a teapot.
Speaker: I don't honestly know what teapot means, but I'm assuming that's similar.
Speaker: I know it's kind of I know the teapot thing.
Speaker: It's also the whole idea that, you know, gay men like stand with their hands to their waist.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: So I feel like now we have a lot of clarity, too, on what Jackie meant when she was telling him to boss up.
Speaker: She was saying.
Speaker: Yeah, she basically was.
Speaker: He was right.
Speaker: He was right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: He was right.
Speaker: He was literally saying, and he was like saying, you're calling me gay.
Speaker: I'm like, you're questioning my manhood.
Speaker: But he wasn't like, yeah, oh my God.
Speaker: That's what she was talking about.
Speaker: And the fact that he didn't even expose her for this homophobia.
Speaker: Like her friend ended up doing it.
Speaker: But it just sucks because, like, I mean, Marshall has said that he's straight.
Speaker: We have every reason to believe he's straight.
Speaker: But also, like, he could also be bi.
Speaker: Like, why should that be a problem?
Speaker: Either way, this kind of, like, this is just so fucked up.
Speaker: And it's fucked up to do if he's straight.
Speaker: It's fucked up to do if he's queer.
Speaker: And, like, the way that there's just no...
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, I told you before though, like it bothered me the way in season one, it was just, it seemed like so accepted among the audience at large.
Speaker: Like, of course, Carlton should have to tell people all these by, of course.
Speaker: Like it'd be natural for diamond.
Speaker: It's like, no, it's not natural to be bigoted against people.
Speaker: Like this isn't okay.
Speaker: It's not acceptable.
Speaker: And now it's just like a fourth season and it's the same fucking shit.
Speaker: This was sad.
Speaker: Like, I honestly, I am sad about this.
Speaker: Yeah, me too.
Speaker: Because how are you going to become a villain in the same season where there's Irina?
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, like...
Speaker: She blew Irene out of the water.
Speaker: How do you manage this?
Speaker: Because this just feels like a choice.
Speaker: Because we have, we've been talking about this all season, that Jackie seems to be making this choice of like, am I going to be who I've been, who the world has made me be, or who I want to be, who I feel like I am inside?
Speaker: And do I want to retreat back to...
Speaker: What Irina did was bad.
Speaker: It was villainy of the drama kind.
Speaker: Like you shouldn't treat people like that.
Speaker: That was kind of shitty.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What Jackie did in terms of, you know, the homophobia stuff, that's just unacceptable.
Speaker: Like I, I would be open to seeing Irina again, like to give an apology, but like Jackie just, I don't know.
Speaker: Like you're,
Speaker: That was a really, really bad thing.
Speaker: I can forgive it, but I just don't want your participation here anymore.
Speaker: If you ask for forgiveness, great, I'll forgive.
Speaker: But I don't want people like that just in front of me.
Speaker: Yeah, I just don't think it should be acceptable in any way.
Speaker: And obviously, we're not going to
Speaker: uninvite people from love is blind reunions for having toxic relationship habits because like that's the fucking show but um i feel like there should be a standard if it came out about any other cast members saying something else bigoted like it's just you should get fired for that shit you don't you shouldn't get to be famous like i don't want to see you on tv like
Speaker: And I honestly just, I find it very sad because I feel like we really kind of saw Jackie like at this inflection point where she was deciding what kind of person she wanted to be and like, damn, this is what she decided?
Speaker: That fucking sucks.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Really, really shitty.
Speaker: I mean, it was, it was, it was especially shitty because
Speaker: I mean, when she ended things with Marshall and we got to see her afterwards and she was like, yeah, I'm not even sorry.
Speaker: I was like, are you giving away something?
Speaker: That's one thing that bugs me.
Speaker: She's turning it into as if the issue is that
Speaker: We want her to be with Marshall and she just can't.
Speaker: No, it's like, it's the way you've handled everything.
Speaker: It's the way you've treated him.
Speaker: It's like, we're not saying you have to be with Marshall.
Speaker: That's the problem here.
Speaker: No, that's not.
Speaker: And I just, I don't know.
Speaker: I feel like it's just something you see a lot where people deflect onto some like issue that's not actually the issue.
Speaker: The issue here is not the issue.
Speaker: Like what it reminds me of kind of is when people...
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker: The issue here is not that you do not want to be with Marshall.
Speaker: You know, the issue here is that is how you do not want to be with Marshall.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Well, it's like every time the like internet discourse starts up again where people are like, I don't want to be with a trans person.
Speaker: Why can't I just say that?
Speaker: And it's like
Speaker: Why do you feel the need to go out of your way to like talk about how you're not attracted to trans people?
Speaker: If you're like, nobody's telling you, you have to fuck trans people, but that's what they turn it into.
Speaker: If you're like, Hey, maybe just don't unnecessarily go around spreading hate for trans people.
Speaker: They're like, wow, you're trying to force me to have sex with people.
Speaker: I don't want to that's violations.
Speaker: Like what the fuck?
Speaker: Like it just,
Speaker: It's a frustrating... There's probably a name for it, honestly, because it's such a common... Yeah, it's almost as if you're proving your own straightness.
Speaker: Like, I'm so hyper-straight that I only sleep with other straight people.
Speaker: Like, it just... Also, just like, if you try to stop me from being bigoted, you're actually harming me.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: you're now you're the one violating my autonomy and boundaries i mean even just sort of like you've seen those texts wow good for you jackie exactly standing up for yourself good communication telling you that's a turn off right exactly
Speaker: ew ew bro the way that the language is adopted I don't want to I'm trying to be very very careful here partly because Jackie is a black woman and I don't want to be you know like yeah I think she is I think Jackie Bonds she definitely is um
Speaker: But either way,
Speaker: I don't want to be shitting on women.
Speaker: I don't want to be shitting on women of color.
Speaker: And I don't want to be shitting on black women.
Speaker: At all.
Speaker: I'm really, really turned off when people do things like that.
Speaker: Diamond's case was very different.
Speaker: Diamond was like... The perfect match story is different from Jackie in certain ways.
Speaker: But all of this...
Speaker: To me, Diamond was disappointing, but she was sort of a representation of the standard view from straight women towards social women in this culture.
Speaker: But Jackie, she's not even being a normal amount of bigot.
Speaker: Yeah, no, no, no.
Speaker: I was not about that.
Speaker: And also, Carlton was kind of a dick, whereas...
Speaker: I do not like Carlton at all.
Speaker: You like Marshall.
Speaker: But it's like you don't get to be bigoted against somebody just because they're bad.
Speaker: You like Marshall.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like when people are mad at somebody so they misgender them.
Speaker: It's like no.
Speaker: Even if you fucking hate somebody's guts you still have to correctly gender them.
Speaker: Please don't try to like be a like there's a way to be an asshole without being a bigoted asshole.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Like
Speaker: Yeah, because also it's like somebody's very humanity should not be up for debate about whether it exists or not based on what they have done.
Speaker: Those are just inalienable rights.
Speaker: But also whenever you think you're just harming one person by targeting their demographic group, you're harming the whole group.
Speaker: It's like when people would
Speaker: think it was totally fine to make these like fat jokes about Trump.
Speaker: It's like millions and millions and millions of other fat people are listening to you.
Speaker: I don't understand.
Speaker: I really just do not understand how people think that it allows somebody doing something ethically wrong allows other people to like question their physical body and, you know, their, their inner self and identity and whatnot.
Speaker: Honestly, people just think that their feelings justify fucking anything.
Speaker: And I have never been able to understand or respect that.
Speaker: Yeah, I apologize.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: I think you meant to click me.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: I literally did that.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: I hate the little hand thing.
Speaker: I don't know what it's there for.
Speaker: There's just like this little hand on our recording.
Speaker: Yeah, it's supposed to.
Speaker: Well, the reason it's there is so that you could raise your hand to let the person know that you have a question or something.
Speaker: Oh, like if everyone's mic is off.
Speaker: I want to talk.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: I totally knew you meant to mute yourself.
Speaker: Everyone who's hurting clear my throat, I apologize.
Speaker: Hey, it could have been worse.
Speaker: It could have been a fart.
Speaker: Could have been...
Speaker: I would cut out a part, but I'm not going to cut that one out.
Speaker: I mean, honestly.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I will.
Speaker: I will.
Speaker: I believe you.
Speaker: But all right.
Speaker: We're going to move from this.
Speaker: I'm going to.
Speaker: We're going to move from on from this because we're going to hear more about Jackie from everyone else.
Speaker: We just want to reiterate.
Speaker: Yeah, I do want to.
Speaker: I want to say.
Speaker: As queer people.
Speaker: It's sort of a tangent.
Speaker: As queer people ourselves.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Just.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: So we move.
Speaker: Yeah, obviously we're not.
Speaker: Also, the ring thing.
Speaker: Do not like the ring thing.
Speaker: Give back the ring.
Speaker: I don't care if the ring was given by the studio.
Speaker: Give back the ring to Marshall, and the Marshall can return into the studio or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah, I did find out what the policy is, and yes, production paid for the ring, but then they get to keep it, so nobody has to give it back.
Speaker: So it's just like...
Speaker: I understand why Marshall would want it back.
Speaker: It's like, why should Jack keep it if it was only meaningful to one of them?
Speaker: But also, gosh, all these.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, I don't know.
Speaker: Also, I feel like maybe her financial situation is worse than his.
Speaker: Like, if she needs it, then.
Speaker: I mean, if she needs it, she needs it.
Speaker: Also, that's not what she said.
Speaker: Her reason was ridiculous.
Speaker: And like.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: This is so weird when people just don't even stop for a half a second to consider the thing that somebody has said to them.
Speaker: She didn't even bother thinking about what he asked.
Speaker: no i'm gonna keep the ring yeah it was i mean it's not a lot of this was could have been done very tastefully um and in fact let's rewind okay let's rewind and go back to the pods when you're in the pods the expectation before the meet you meet whoever you're about to meet on the outside
Speaker: is that okay here's this person with whom I get along very well in terms of how we like speak and communicate I don't know what they look like but if I say yes here at any point I can say no you know at any given point I can say no and
Speaker: Yeah, it's not like you're getting married without him.
Speaker: So even someone as horrible as Irina, who goes ahead and is like, literally says that she's repulsed by the guy, she tries to make clear in her neurotypical way that she's uninterested in him and just does not stretch it past the Mexico vacation, basically.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know what I mean?
Speaker: Like, she does not stretch it farther than that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Jackie stretches it.
Speaker: I mean, I don't know that she could.
Speaker: She was so... But I mean...
Speaker: You basically let people go.
Speaker: Like, the way... And when you let people go, you try to do it as best as possible.
Speaker: It just felt like at the end, Jackie was like... Whatchamacallit?
Speaker: Jackie just felt frustrated that she had had to put up with Marshall.
Speaker: When Marshall thought that he was with his fiancée and, you know, they were about to get married.
Speaker: I do have, like, a
Speaker: kind of theory on what it is.
Speaker: I think, um, Jackie reached a point where she was sick of feeling like a bad person and she felt like a bad person.
Speaker: I think because she was frequently acting like a bad person, but it is no fun to feel that way.
Speaker: Basically, oh, I'm a villain, but I don't like being a villain.
Speaker: Or at least don't feel like I'm a villain, but I don't like being reminded that I'm a villain.
Speaker: Also, it's like, if you finally have somebody who treats you well, then it's obvious when you don't treat them well.
Speaker: But if she's only been in relationships in the past where they both treated each other like shit, then, like, the standards for her were also low.
Speaker: And now suddenly, the standards are higher.
Speaker: And she's being treated well, but he also is expecting, like, care and communication and time.
Speaker: That's not the kind of stuff that... I just...
Speaker: Once we found out about the things that she was going through, it all made sense.
Speaker: Like, you didn't need to be with Marshall.
Speaker: You did not need to be getting married.
Speaker: You did not need to be getting engaged.
Speaker: I completely understand all those things.
Speaker: I also do not want to question why you said yes.
Speaker: Great, whatever.
Speaker: You said yes.
Speaker: You said yes.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: But when you're ending this thing with the guy, please...
Speaker: make it a little less like the way you did there.
Speaker: Because it really, really...
Speaker: Honestly, I have been nicer breaking up with people I went on one date with on Tinder.
Speaker: Literally.
Speaker: I've dated people for a couple weeks and I've still sat down with them and hugged them after saying that we're not going to date anymore while they cried or something.
Speaker: It doesn't matter.
Speaker: You have to have some kind of basic level of empathy for the other person.
Speaker: And it just...
Speaker: That's the thing.
Speaker: She got sick of that.
Speaker: And I think she got to a point where she just decided to not try to...
Speaker: think about his feelings anymore because she had decided I'm not going to feel bad anymore and so she's not trying to hold herself to a standard.
Speaker: That's great.
Speaker: You don't want to hold yourself to a standard.
Speaker: Also, don't be a homophobe at the same time because then I'm just totally turned off.
Speaker: Now you're not just a villain.
Speaker: You're like an asshole.
Speaker: Get the fuck out of my face.
Speaker: I don't want to see you.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, like,
Speaker: I think you have to hold yourself to standards in order to like live in a world with other people.
Speaker: Well, she holds herself to toxic standards.
Speaker: She holds herself to toxic standards.
Speaker: The way that her friend was like, good for you.
Speaker: That's her standard.
Speaker: And it is very common in our society now.
Speaker: It's just this like, it's my journey.
Speaker: I'm prioritizing me.
Speaker: We've sort of
Speaker: gotten this twisted idea that like, um, only thinking about yourself can actually be turned into like this good thing or the spiritual thing was like admirable thing.
Speaker: And like, sure.
Speaker: When people have never thought about themselves or when they are unkind to themselves, like then that can be something very powerful.
Speaker: like if you already spend most of your time making choices to benefit yourself and not thinking about others it's really not impressive that now you're thinking about yourself 100 of the time like it's it's gross it's like when we say when you i want to be clear about this when we say the phrase focus on yourself
Speaker: This is usually said to somebody who has spent a very long time either focusing their energies on other people or who were not able to do anything for themselves because they were so busy trying to just survive.
Speaker: When you say focus on yourself, it means that you have spent so much time not focusing on yourself,
Speaker: that your body is literally falling apart.
Speaker: Like you need to focus on yourself for a minute to like literally heal yourself or rebuild yourself.
Speaker: It doesn't mean that you need to go have some fucking fun because somebody made you feel bad because you were being a dick and they were honest about how you were being to them.
Speaker: That doesn't mean focus.
Speaker: That's you're you're going to go have some fun.
Speaker: You know, like all of this mental health care language and
Speaker: self-care it's all meaningless now because um people just use it to mean whatever they want to justify whatever they want and i guess that's inevitable like that's what yeah yeah no no you're not you're not you're not gonna go and focus on yourself you are gonna go have fun because you that's how you are instead of remember when people got heartbroken
Speaker: And the person who broke their hearts in the Vauds also went and cried, you know, like how Paul cried after he said no to, yeah.
Speaker: Like, that just, it does.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's the kind of stuff that we expected from you because you were about to even marry this person.
Speaker: Instead, you made it sound like this person was a burden on you when you, anyway.
Speaker: And that is also definitely, it's a difference between like neurodivergent, neurotypical, like dating culture slash like just the way we look at love and romance partnerships is we frequently like continue to value that person and the relationship after the romantic relationship has ended.
Speaker: But it's often like praised within neurotypical culture to look
Speaker: Like, try and cut off your feelings for somebody.
Speaker: Or, like, just once someone is out of your, you know, once you're not in a relationship with someone anymore, they should be out of your life.
Speaker: And you shouldn't care about them anymore.
Speaker: And it's really, like, they value the role, not the person.
Speaker: And we value the person more than the role.
Speaker: Yeah, I think it's time we move on from Jackie and Marshall.
Speaker: I think there's going to be more on this villainy.
Speaker: Well, then I got to tell you the one thing that I found out today is if you thought that Irina had no defenders, it turns out she does.
Speaker: And they're in the TikTok comments.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: Who are these people?
Speaker: Yeah, they're driving me nuts.
Speaker: as far as I have seen uniformly, a cishetalistic white women who identify with how uncomfortable Irina was.
Speaker: And they're basically all saying things like, well, what if she was uncomfortable?
Speaker: I'm like,
Speaker: so that doesn't mean that you treat another human being like a cartoon character you know they think that it she wasn't being mean and actually i'm being mean by characterizing it that way because she was uncomfortable i'm like you don't
Speaker: You get to be verbal and cruel to somebody because you're uncomfortable.
Speaker: She was uncomfortable.
Speaker: I mean, she was uncomfortable, so what?
Speaker: Like, I've been uncomfortable in situations.
Speaker: I don't start degrading people.
Speaker: He wasn't doing anything to make her uncomfortable.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But they think that their feelings justify everything.
Speaker: I felt this way, so I get to be mean to you.
Speaker: I was engaging in self-care by degrading him.
Speaker: You earned it in some way.
Speaker: I was engaging in self-care by degrading him.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: even though this girl's like, shouldn't we like hold some grace for arena as well?
Speaker: Um, I'm just like, what are you talking about?
Speaker: It's not like I'm, uh, harassing her or saying she should go to hell or prison.
Speaker: Like I'm criticizing the way that she had a knee jerk ableist reaction to somebody.
Speaker: And then follow that up with repeated, cruel remarks.
Speaker: Uh,
Speaker: What fucking grace do you need?
Speaker: Like, why is she the one you're immediately identifying with and like defending?
Speaker: But it's because they do.
Speaker: That's that is who they identify with.
Speaker: And they do see Zack the way that Irina saw him and they feel justified in that, even though they can't ever fucking explain it, because of course, there's nothing to explain because he was doing anything.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, I mean, the people in your comments who are saying those things need to listen to our podcast.
Speaker: I mean, they probably won't because I end up being pretty rich to them.
Speaker: Well, we don't need them then.
Speaker: Or do we?
Speaker: Actually, no, I don't want to say that.
Speaker: No, we don't.
Speaker: I do not like it when people annoy me in my comments.
Speaker: I don't like it.
Speaker: Well, I'm grateful to everyone who listens to our podcast.
Speaker: I only have so much.
Speaker: I'm grateful to everyone who listens to our podcast.
Speaker: Yeah, because you don't get the comments.
Speaker: If you're going to comment like that, question mark, question mark.
Speaker: Also, just like, all the people, I think you may have seen, I made a TikTok making fun of one person because I just couldn't stand it anymore.
Speaker: It's like, I don't think that, um,
Speaker: zach is autistic uh he could just be traumatized and insecure not everybody who's neurodivergent is autistic i'm like why do you think it's uh better for us to define ourselves as trauma and insecurity instead of just like we are just fucking autistic like why do you think it's better to look at us it's just like oh they're broken yeah yeah i'm i'm i'm
Speaker: Also, he is autistic.
Speaker: I don't care how mad people get about it.
Speaker: Like how he is.
Speaker: I'm sorry if he gets mad about it.
Speaker: I don't know if he ever hears this.
Speaker: Zach, you are autistic.
Speaker: And I totally understand if you're not ready to hear that.
Speaker: There were many, many years I wouldn't have been ready to hear.
Speaker: There's nothing wrong with it at all.
Speaker: And like it doesn't change anything about you because you already are this way.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to I'm going to I'm going to agree and say, yeah, it's.
Speaker: Yeah, Zach.
Speaker: Listen to our podcast.
Speaker: You're going to learn so many things about yourself.
Speaker: We've all already been in it for a long time.
Speaker: Yeah, no, I... Also, I'm really good at this.
Speaker: This is like the thing I'm good at is...
Speaker: Knowing who's autistic and who's not.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm kind of starting to like, that's kind of starting to be my specialty too, but it's less of a specialty, more of a, I just see similarities between them and myself.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh, this is why I get along with you because, you know, and then turns out they're autistic.
Speaker: I think there ended up being, there are just some very specific things that represent like ways we think and they're just so uniquely autistic and unnoticed.
Speaker: I've just talked to so many autistic people and I hear the same things from us and you never hear it from other people.
Speaker: And so it's like, it's just the way we think.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, but yeah, I guess we should at least briefly talk about something else.
Speaker: I mean, what else did they do?
Speaker: What else is interesting?
Speaker: Everyone's getting dressed.
Speaker: I liked the dresses.
Speaker: I thought the dresses were good.
Speaker: Um, I felt like,
Speaker: What do you think about Bliss's poopy sleep dress?
Speaker: No, no, not my favorite, no.
Speaker: You don't like it?
Speaker: I bet she's not looking at me.
Speaker: No, no, no, I'm like, totally.
Speaker: Listen, whatever she likes, she likes.
Speaker: But, like, I am... It's not what I would pick either, but I feel like I frequently can't see the value in, like, a very girly piece of clothing until I see someone else wearing it.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, okay, yeah, I can see that.
Speaker: So whose dress was your favorite?
Speaker: Oh, I don't know.
Speaker: They were all white.
Speaker: I don't really remember any of them.
Speaker: I also remember Chelsea's was really long and she looked really happy.
Speaker: Chelsea's was like, yeah.
Speaker: Chelsea really liked her dress.
Speaker: Chelsea's like in a dreamland right now, honestly.
Speaker: She just looked so happy in her dress, yeah.
Speaker: She loves that dude.
Speaker: Micah was in one of those dresses, like super simple dresses that just like accentuate your body.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, I do remember that because everyone's like, wow, this is amazing.
Speaker: I was like, I don't get it.
Speaker: That looks boring and plain.
Speaker: So I was going to get a wedding dress.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, I did think when Michael is sitting there and like Chelsea was trying on her dress, they like showed Micah's face a couple of times and she looked genuinely uncomfortable.
Speaker: That was the first time I wondered, oh, does she actually have like a genuine scrapple feeling for Kwame?
Speaker: Because she looked...
Speaker: like actually uncomfortable watching Chelsea be so excited to marry him.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I, I, I'm honestly, I felt like,
Speaker: I felt like she kind of had the vibes of Francesca from Perfect Match when Dom got picked up.
Speaker: Remember?
Speaker: Like, Micah was uncomfortable just like our trip.
Speaker: Oh, sure.
Speaker: It's like, I don't want you, but I don't want anyone else to have you.
Speaker: I just don't want you to be around.
Speaker: I don't want you to be here to constantly remind me of mine and your thing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I have noticed a lot of neurodivergent people are, I think, projecting some of themselves onto Micah and trying to see the best in her in ways that really she hasn't earned.
Speaker: Because I have people telling me, I think she just... Basically, the way she's a chameleon in what I believe is like...
Speaker: a manipulative way other people are seeing as like a, I don't really know what's going on.
Speaker: I'm not picking up the cues kind of way.
Speaker: And I'm like, nah, I think she's just a really good manipulator.
Speaker: And that's why you actually are having empathy for her because that's how good she is at it.
Speaker: When like, if you actually look at the friend she has, the things she's done, things she has said, the fact that people are still looking at her as like an empathetic figure,
Speaker: a sweet heart, somebody who is innocent and all of this, like that should in itself show you like, yeah, no, no, this is part of the reason why I think the marriage isn't going to pan out because I feel like she's playing every, I think Paul doesn't want to marry her.
Speaker: I think Micah doesn't want to marry him either.
Speaker: I think Shelby has like understood it.
Speaker: I think this is kind of, but like for, I don't think for Micah it's ever been about marrying Paul.
Speaker: I don't know, like, does she want a marriage for her fame or whatever?
Speaker: But I think Paul has clearly been really thinking about, do I want to?
Speaker: And then he said, like, at this point with the data that I have, it just would have proved too much risk.
Speaker: And that's when I realized that I think talking about data is just a dead giveaway because Zach Bliss and Paul all talk about data in the last episode.
Speaker: I talk about it all the time, too.
Speaker: And I don't think neurotypical people ever talk about it unless they're, like, taking a class, you know?
Speaker: No, I... It's because we have... I'm not going to cut any, like, whatchamacallit.
Speaker: I'm not giving any breaks to Micah.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, no, no.
Speaker: I'm not giving her any breaks.
Speaker: I'm not saying you're giving her any breaks.
Speaker: I'm just saying anyone who's giving Mike her breaks, you're waiting.
Speaker: You're going to wake up and it's going to be very cruel.
Speaker: Yeah, just, um, you're seeing yourself in her and she's not you.
Speaker: That's why we're vulnerable to manipulation is we, we, uh,
Speaker: assume other people have like the same motivation as we do.
Speaker: I trust you on this.
Speaker: I'm a very bad judge of character.
Speaker: We've established this.
Speaker: I've gotten very good at this specific thing.
Speaker: So yeah, I'm quite sure.
Speaker: Also, there are certain things she's done and said that are not defensible.
Speaker: Even honestly as simple as the way like when Paul proposed, she was like faking him out to think that she was going to say no.
Speaker: Like that's...
Speaker: What the f- who does that?
Speaker: That's- he should've known right there.
Speaker: Like, this person does not care about me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We- all right.
Speaker: Do you remember that?
Speaker: Which part was it?
Speaker: When Paul was proposing to Micah and she was like, listen, it's been great getting to know you.
Speaker: Oh, right, right.
Speaker: Oh my god.
Speaker: I've really enjoyed our talks.
Speaker: So, of course!
Speaker: Like,
Speaker: You, why would you want to play with somebody's feelings like that in that moment unless you are a fucking sicko?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, that's not an autistic person who doesn't understand social cues.
Speaker: No, that's a fucking manipulator who enjoys playing with other people's feelings.
Speaker: So where do we go from here?
Speaker: Well...
Speaker: think i sip a diet coke briefly all right diet coke has been sipped ready for another big exciting scene zach finally met bliss's dad the thing's been like terrified of for days and days now half their relationship um bliss's dad sucks we're just gonna say yeah i'm with you there's there's no way around it
Speaker: he seems like, it seems like, Oh, how would he end up with somebody like bliss's mom?
Speaker: But actually I've seen this dynamic many times.
Speaker: I think, you know, people like him end up searching out really kind people like her.
Speaker: And then I hope eventually she was like, Whoa, this guy sucks and kicked him out.
Speaker: But now bliss is stuck with like one cool parent and one shitty parent who you still have to love because they're your parent and you haven't,
Speaker: I mean, it's not like you have to love them, but most people do anyways, and she clearly does.
Speaker: But, I mean, it goes pretty badly, which falls squarely into dad's lap because he wants it to go badly.
Speaker: There's nothing they could have said that would have made him have a better reaction.
Speaker: It's kind of like a wall, you know?
Speaker: He just, he was not perceptive to like anything.
Speaker: No matter what you threw at him, it just, it would fall flat.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Like there was no, it's kind of.
Speaker: He went in with the intention of not agreeing and not supporting it.
Speaker: That's kind of how a lot of neurotypical people feel to autistic people.
Speaker: Like, we attempt to get to them by many means, but, like, they're just, like, it's almost like talking to somebody who's just not...
Speaker: understanding your words but the reality is they are understanding your words it's just they're they have a different way of communicating and the way that he's communicating basically if you're a neurotypical person you would immediately get what he's trying to do like you would just not communicate with him you'd stop right there because he's clearly trying to bring them down yeah he has chosen to never like you so he isn't going to
Speaker: Zach is not going to win him over because he doesn't want Zach to be able to win him over.
Speaker: Neurodiversion people would be like, but I'll keep trying.
Speaker: Someday I will do it.
Speaker: No, you won't.
Speaker: That person is just like that.
Speaker: They're just not going to do it.
Speaker: And like in that way, we do sort of have to take a page from the neurotypical book and see like, how do they react to these like painful social situations with other neurotypicals?
Speaker: They go, ah, fuck you then.
Speaker: And they walk away.
Speaker: Like they don't keep feeling bad.
Speaker: I've started to do a little bit.
Speaker: Because also neurotypicals pretty much.
Speaker: I've started to do that myself after a while because I was just like,
Speaker: I need to stop putting so much energy into people that are not giving it back and not giving it back honestly.
Speaker: Like I'm trying to honestly communicate with you and you sitting over there already made up your mind that I'm somebody that you hate and you will not like give me a chance.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm not going to stick around.
Speaker: I'm going to walk away.
Speaker: Yeah, I can't, I can't stand to grovel.
Speaker: I can't kiss anybody's ass.
Speaker: I just can't.
Speaker: And even, I mean, that's, I've had, I've had conflicts, like with my grandpa when I was a kid, because he was my only living grandparent.
Speaker: And I just didn't understand why everybody like,
Speaker: ran around trying to police him all the time when he wasn't even nice.
Speaker: And I just wasn't down to do it.
Speaker: Alright, so I think we need to end this episode of very awkward awkward meetings and horrible breakups.
Speaker: Yeah, we said that we were going to make this a half an hour episode and we did not do that.
Speaker: But I guess I just want to finish on
Speaker: I was really impressed by the way Bliss stood up to her dad, the way she communicated with her dad.
Speaker: Basically, she managed her dad because she is the mature one with the communication skills.
Speaker: But she also, she stood up for Zach.
Speaker: She stood up for the relationship.
Speaker: And that's...
Speaker: That's how somebody talks when they love you.
Speaker: And that's such a contrast from like how Micah acted when her friends were shitting on Paul.
Speaker: And that's why I couldn't stand that people who were not recognizing Micah was playing such a big role in it.
Speaker: It was like you don't just let somebody talk shit about the person that you love.
Speaker: You stand up for them even if it's terrifying.
Speaker: And I think that if Zach's mom was looking from heaven, she'd be very happy.
Speaker: Oh, I mean, I think she'd be all in on bliss, yeah.
Speaker: All right, well.
Speaker: So we're going to zip over and do a little recap of Eleven, and then it'll be time for the fucking season finale of Friday.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Cannot wait for it.
Speaker: I don't know how they're fitting all those weddings.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't think certain weddings are going to happen.
Speaker: So it's going to be a short episode.
Speaker: Fair.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, we'll zoom through this outro.
Speaker: Thanks for listening.
Speaker: Subscribe, follow us and all that stuff.
Speaker: Thanks for being here so much.
Speaker: Adieu.
Speaker: Farewell.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Bye.
