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S4 Holiday Episode: Sharing Humanity - A Chat with Free Mom Hugs' Founder, Sara Cunningham
16 Plays1 day ago
In this podcast episode, the hosts discuss various life experiences and rants before welcoming their guest, Sara Cunningham, the founder of Free Mom Hugs. Sara shares the origin story of Free Mom Hugs, a national nonprofit movement that began when she offered hugs at a Pride parade to support LGBTQ+ individuals feeling unseen. Sara elaborates on how the movement has expanded to chapters in all 50 states and even internationally. The conversation covers the support provided by Free Mom Hugs, including officiating same-sex weddings, offering care packages during COVID-19, and organizing events like Second Chance Proms. The episode underscores the importance of empathy, connection, and simple acts of kindness, especially during the holiday season. Sara advocates for visibility, affirmation, and support for the LGBTQ+ community and encourages everyone to do what they can to make a difference.
Connect with Guest:
FreeMomHugs.org
…
Dial It In Podcast is where we gather our favorite people together to share their advice on how to drive revenue, through storytelling and without the boring sales jargon. Our primary focus is marketing and sales for manufacturing and B2B service businesses, but we’ll cover topics across the entire spectrum of business. This isn’t a deep, naval-gazing show… we like to have lively chats that are fun, and full of useful insights. Brought to you by BizzyWeb.
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Dial It In' Podcast
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to dial it in a podcast where we talk to fascinating people about marketing sales process improvements and tricks that they use to grow their businesses. Join me Dave Meyer and Trigby Olson of busy web as we bring you interviews on how the best in their fields are dialing it in for their organizations.
00:00:26
Speaker
Let's ring up another episode.
Spontaneity in Podcasting: A Guest's Impact
00:00:31
Speaker
I had this whole rant prepped today about ors things that have been happening to me, but then our guest asked us a question that kind of completely, nobody's ever asked us in the history of just doing this podcast together. So it's, it's, she completely baked my noodle. Okay. Oh yeah. Now I remember.
Humor in Everyday Frustrations
00:00:49
Speaker
If you are dropping off your kid at an elementary school parking lot, shame on you for parking in the handicapped spot and then leaving your lights on so it looks like you're going to come out soon. Because then everybody's waiting for you and everybody's trying to get their kid to school on time.
00:01:05
Speaker
And if you have a fifth grader like I do, he wants me to park far away from where he goes in so that he can hug me and tell me he loves me and then also look cool at the same time. But for for the love of heat, stop doing it.
00:01:19
Speaker
We're here. Yeah. So the other thing that was interesting is Dave, when you and I, were ah when we're recording this, it was a little bit after Thanksgiving, I took my wife's parents back to their senior living facility and I had to get them there by eight o'clock because it was ah curfew at the senior living place.
00:01:40
Speaker
And oh my God, it was the kind it it was the converse of elementary school drop-off where everybody was trying to get them there. as soon as possible so you'd see people pull screech up slam on the brakes the driver would run out pop the trunk and like walkers and watch stuff and everything's flying out it was a and it was an eye-opening experience I'm off my rant. I'm off my soapbox. Everybody can get back on
Meet Sarah Cunningham of Free Mom Hugs
00:02:09
Speaker
my lawn.
00:02:09
Speaker
And we have an amazing guest today and something that I am really excited to get into. One of the things that as a lead behind for me for 2025 teach a class at HubSpot for beginning salespeople.
00:02:26
Speaker
And one of the things that one of my mentors told me, I tell the beginning salespeople all the time when they're scared or they're afraid and they don't know if they can do it, is I say, that's okay. I'll be confident enough for both of us until you're ready.
00:02:40
Speaker
And to that end, we are blessed that we have two people in our organization who are active members of the of what we're going to be talking about today. And I know Dave, you feel like this is a really amazing thing that we get to talk about today too.
00:02:53
Speaker
Absolutely. So we're blessed that our guest is here today, but before then, do we have a sponsor for today's episode, Dave? Interestingly, we have a sponsor that I think is going to be relatively close to our guest's heart.
00:03:09
Speaker
I'd like to promote today freemomhugs.org. If you are looking for a spot or a place to share the love and to share support for communities in need, please visit freemomhugs.org.
00:03:24
Speaker
Find a chapter, look at the conferences and all of the events and places that they're visiting. because Free Mom Hugs gets out and they share the love with people that need it the most in our communities.
00:03:35
Speaker
So please visit freemomhugs.org. Thanks, Dave. I don't think that's going to make us any money, but I agree. It's a great sprocket for today's work. So our guest today is Sarah
Founding Story of Free Mom Hugs
00:03:45
Speaker
Cunningham. she is the She is the founder of Free Mom Hugs, a national nonprofit movement born from her journey as a mother and ally. She was raised in a conservative Christian community in Oklahoma,
00:03:57
Speaker
where I'm told the wind comes sweeping down the plane, but we'll get into that. ah Her world changed when her son came out, prompting her to re-examine faith, family, and acceptance. In 2015, she pinned a homemade Free Mom Hugs button at a pride parade, offering hugs to LGBTQ plus individuals who had felt unseen.
00:04:21
Speaker
Today, free Mom Hugs has chapters in all 50 states, mobilizing volunteers to bring love, affirmation, and connection to anyone who needs it. So with humility and authenticity, Sarah shares how transformation, visibility, and simple acts of kindness can ripple into meaningful change.
00:04:42
Speaker
Welcome, Sarah. Hello, hello. Good morning. Thank you for the invitation.
00:04:50
Speaker
What's... I think what free mom hugs is so such a simple idea that's also just so unbelievably extraordinary. I read a little bit about your bio about how you did it, but can you walk us through how it turned from um hugging people at a parade to a movement? A movement.
00:05:10
Speaker
The journey between that first hug, which we at Free Mom Hunts, we call that the spark. It's the first time that two strangers get together and they acknowledge each other with a hug or a high five or just that eye contact and positive affirmations.
00:05:27
Speaker
And... being accountable, hearing stories from the community, and then offering to be a stand-in at a wedding.
Expanding Free Mom Hugs and Stand-In Pride
00:05:39
Speaker
And that post went viral, and we heard from people all over the world, and they soon found out about what we were doing here in Oklahoma City, and they wanted to do it where they were.
00:05:50
Speaker
And that's how we became a movement.
00:05:55
Speaker
Amazing. And tell me a little bit more about the stand-in at the wedding part? Yeah. goified oh that one It was a journey, like I say often, that it was a journey from the church to the pride parade.
00:06:05
Speaker
I started meeting members of the community, couples who were falling in love, getting engaged, and I became, in the meantime, an accidental activist.
00:06:16
Speaker
And so I met a couple who'd been together for 28 years, and the Marriage Equality Act passed, and and they asked if I would officiate their wedding, and that's something I never would have imagined myself doing.
00:06:29
Speaker
But I loved them, and I knew them, and i so I got ordained, and I officiated their wedding. They were the first lesbian couple to be married in Natchez, Mississippi.
00:06:41
Speaker
And wow so then other couples started asking if I would officiate their weddings. And through that, at the rehearsal dinners, I would hear stories how parents were refusing to come to the wedding, not acknowledging the relationship and just the devastation or disappointment from the couples. And it was devastating.
00:07:04
Speaker
And one night in frustration, I made a social media post that said, if your biological mom won't come to your same-sex wedding, call me. I'll be there. I'll be your biggest fan. I'll even bring the bubbles, is what I said.
00:07:15
Speaker
And that post went viral. And at the time, I didn't even know what going viral meant. But we heard from people all over the world. Now, in the meantime, it's just me and a couple of moms showing up here at Pride festivals, Second Chance proms, anything that we can do to be that loving presence in the lives of those, like Dave said, who need it the most.
00:07:38
Speaker
And that post went viral and it caught a lot of attention. And we can talk more about that later if you want. yeah But people soon found out about what we were doing here in Free Mom Hugs.
00:07:49
Speaker
But as far as the stand-in mom goes, or I am an officiant, I make a way to officiate same-sex weddings, or i do straight weddings too.
00:08:01
Speaker
I never want to be a burden to the community, so I always i have a fund that helps me ah allows me to get there. Or if I can't get there, we have a long list of people who are... able to officiate.
00:08:13
Speaker
But in the meantime, a man, which would make a great guest on your podcast by Dan Blevins, and he is the founder for Stand in Pride, and he was inspired by that social media post that went viral And he offered to be a standing dad and his post went viral and he started a nonprofit called Standing Pride.
00:08:37
Speaker
And it could have very well been a free mom hugs thing, but we didn't have the bandwidth for it. But anyway, check it out. Standing Pride, Daniel Blevins, an amazing man. He's a member of the community and he's sassy, he's classy and just doing amazing work. They even designed an app a stand-in app. It's called Stand-In Pride.
00:09:02
Speaker
And it's for all over the world who's willing to stand in And last thing, and I'll shut up, but we never want to replace a parent. I think Dan, myself, our volunteers, the mission of Free Mom Hugs is not ever to replace a parent. We're always hopeful that the parents will come around.
00:09:20
Speaker
But until they do, we want to be that loving presence. So... That's how came a movie. And i think that there's a great, there's a great book about the inappropriate uses of grammar called eat shoots and leaves where it's it's on the cover. It's two pandas and one is happily eating a bamboo stick.
00:09:50
Speaker
And the other one has just committed, committed murder and is walking through a door because the comma placement in the say eats, shoots and leaves makes all the difference. So I think one of the things that ah is critical is and like you said, you're not looking to replace somebody's mom. You're the free mom. It's free comma, free comma mom hugs. It's not free mom replacement therapy here. oh Yeah.
00:10:16
Speaker
Nope. And we're not therapists. We're not mental health therapists, but we can sure point to resources as needed. We just want to be loving presence. In Oklahoma, we started helping with phone bills, bus passes, things that are practical.
00:10:31
Speaker
help with basic needs as those have been alienated from their families, from their church homes, and from many parts of society. So we did start standing in. And much like the church life, when I was in a congregation for 20 years, we served people inside and outside of that congregation. we did a amazing things within this community.
00:10:54
Speaker
And then once that alienation came, as I became more affirming, because the doctrine didn't agree with what I was learning and what I was accountable to. So, all that to say, it's like, I don't even want to really call it a ministry, because it's what a parent should do for a child, or a neighbor should do for a neighbor, right? Just take care of me. Yeah.
00:11:20
Speaker
A human for another
Sarah's Personal Journey and LGBTQ+ Advocacy
00:11:22
Speaker
human. And so... let's Let's take a couple of steps all the way back because I want to hear the ah origin story of Free Mom Hugs. And can you tell us a little bit about what was happening in your life and how this spread out? What inspired you to craft that first homemade Free Mom Hugs button and to get out and stand out? and Yep.
00:11:43
Speaker
It took some time. it was a process. I say when my son came out of his closet, I went into mine and I had to just re-examine everything I believe. And listen, it's been 10 years, but look at me. I'm emotional because it takes me right back to that time when I was just on this journey of...
00:12:04
Speaker
such devastation from being alienated from a church home of 20 years, leaving everything that I knew behind as a woman of faith. And then going through my son missing an entire adolescence of his life out of fear and ignorance from bad theology.
00:12:23
Speaker
Up until that time, seeing, knowing what I put my own family through, and then seeing my son happy, healthy, living authentically, meeting his friends, hearing their stories, and being accountable.
00:12:39
Speaker
But the one thing that I heard the most was and that I even put my son through, is that they had lost their sense of belonging. And with that, they lost their mother, the parental figure, their comfort, the one person who should have celebrated and supported them.
00:13:00
Speaker
I went to a Pride Festival in 2014, and I was still on the fence. I had no idea the significance of a little gay bar in New York City called the Stonewall Inn. But I wanted to see God's favor there.
00:13:13
Speaker
Could I have googled pride in the history of it? Yep. Did I? No. I just wanted to seek God's favor there. And guess what? I did. i had a pivotal divine intervention, if you want to call it that. But at that pride festival, I saw beautiful diversity and community and love, acceptance.
00:13:39
Speaker
And I started hearing stories about how just people were missing their moms. And so homemade button. And the next year I went to a pride festival and with anyone who made eye contact with me, I offered a hug or a high five because not everybody's a hugger.
00:13:54
Speaker
And the first hug I gave went to a girl who said it'd been four years since she had a hug from her mother because she's a lesbian. And from that experience, we started Free Mom Hugs. And this is our logo.
00:14:09
Speaker
And I love it because it's very simple. And it sends a message, whether you can use words or not, that you are a strong and faithful ally.
00:14:19
Speaker
And I'm not the first mom to offer hugs at a Pride Festival. But from that experience, started Free Mom Hunts. Was that the button that you showed us the first one?
00:14:32
Speaker
Oh my gosh, that's amazing. That's gotta be, thats that's an actual American history lesson. i Listen, I didn't even know how to order stuff on the internet. That's how naive and behind I was.
00:14:45
Speaker
We had the internet, a computer, but anyway, I went to Michael's and got these homemade buttons that you make. And anyway, that's the button. I love it.
00:14:57
Speaker
I do too. How many, that first pride parade that you showed up to, how many hugs did you give out? i could I would imagine you probably had a line forming. Let's just put it this way. I went home covered from head to toe with glitter.
00:15:14
Speaker
Of course. yeah It was bittersweet, really, just being there and hearing all the stories. And it's haunting, really. and I do get emotional because it takes me right back to that day. I'm getting emotional just hearing about it. Absolutely. And every pivotal moment in my life, meeting the community, meeting that first couple that had been together for 28 years.
00:15:35
Speaker
getting them married, and then meeting the transgender community. I went to PFLAG meeting that I thought was for high schoolers or families like mine, and it turned out to be for the adult transgender community.
00:15:51
Speaker
And listen, I'd never been in the same room with a transgender person that I know of until that day. I stayed because I was curious. And I listened to their stories and I just, I cried out tears in my car after that meeting because I thought, i'm these are beautiful, misunderstood people and how different their lives could have been if they just had support or access to earn a living or healthcare.
00:16:20
Speaker
And so I'm a town crier. and It's okay. the um Just the empathy and the power of fear and ignorance is... yes And I think that's powerful. And one of the reasons why we wanted to invite you here today is, especially, and we're not going to get political or that, but it's important that everyone remembers, especially we're recording in the holiday season.
00:16:49
Speaker
A simple act can make a huge difference, and especially with the the way that the media is going and in a click-based society that focuses on engagement that focuses on huge in capitals to get people riled up.
00:17:07
Speaker
Just reminding people that we are all humans and we all need love and connection and offering up hugs is one of the simplest and most powerful things you can do. So this is as much as anything, it's a public thank you to you for sponsoring and so sparking this move. Thank you. but i And sponsoring the podcast. Yeah, of course.
00:17:30
Speaker
and Unintentionally. and Let's ask bigger questions. I don't think this is necessarily unique to the community that you that you have, that you're a part of. The holidays can bring up a mix of immortons and are hard for everybody. And that's, I think, why we wanted to illustrate this in large part today, not only because of the extraordinary work you're doing, but I think everybody's hurting and in some ways. So...
00:17:55
Speaker
How can you recognize if somebody's hurt? And just because I think that there's an extraordinary simplicity and and revelatory nature of just physical context. So what can we tell people, hey, if you see somebody,
00:18:12
Speaker
As a professional world hunter. Yes, as if a professional hunter. In my research, I have found that the most powerful thing that we can do as human beings is just to look each other in the eye and just say, how are you? I'm glad we're here together. Or just some words of affirmation or...
00:18:34
Speaker
Even a phone call, a letter, a card, of just some sort of acknowledgement that we're here together and just love. And to you said the holidays are hard. You're right.
00:18:47
Speaker
They can be extremely difficult. But there's a couple of things that I found helpful, and I learned this from a another mom. But if you're at a holiday gathering or just a gathering of any sorts with your family or people who may not be as accepting to you and you see the conversation going south, there's three things that you can do. one You can decide if it's time to educate, if it's a time to change the conversation, or if it's a time just to leave the room.
00:19:25
Speaker
We all have choices in how we can handle those difficult moments. It's also good news because in a time steeped in tradition like the holidays,
00:19:36
Speaker
The good news is you can make your own holidays. You can Friendsgiving with chosen family. You can make your own traditions and it brings more meaning and you can create healthy, happy memories around the holidays.
00:19:53
Speaker
And that's where I find or seems to give hope. When you allow people to say, look, there's no right or wrong way to do this. You can have your own way and make it better. If that makes sense.
00:20:06
Speaker
but It's perfect sense. And I think that's incredibly helpful in there. You do have choices. And i think a lot of people, especially when the toxic conversations come up, the initial...
00:20:22
Speaker
inclination is to shut down, but reminding yourself that you have choices and it doesn't have to devolve. And a lot of times I think the most powerful thing you can do is just see people for who they are and understand. And it absolutely needs to not keep devolving into hatred and anger and you can't meet hate with hate.
00:20:50
Speaker
And so as we look at, it's just uncomfortable conversations. One of my favorite Saturday Night Live skits that we played for the kids this this Thanksgiving was the Adele one where people were talking and they were all in in the at the holiday, at Thanksgiving dinner.
00:21:08
Speaker
And all of a sudden they started talking and a bad topic came up and then all of a sudden everybody was yelling at each other. And then a little girl comes up and she presses play on Hello by Adele.
00:21:20
Speaker
And then they all started singing. Yeah. Yeah. ah you you need that jolt or that spark to break people's loops. And what better way than, of course, ah and or at least acknowledgement and people in the eye and accepting and talking. um That's my long way way of getting me to the next thing that really wanted to ask
Heartwarming Connections and Community Stories
00:21:40
Speaker
you for a long time. And that is,
00:21:42
Speaker
You've had as part of your organization, as part of the movement, so many experiences with people. Can you share a couple of examples that you may have heard either in person or through the community of just tell us some good feel good stories that you've run across and maybe even in just in 2025. Yes.
00:22:02
Speaker
Yes, we just had Giving Tuesday. If you're familiar with that, it's a day set aside calendar year to promote and raise awareness and give to nonprofits. And we're part of that.
00:22:13
Speaker
And in our giving link, and I don't know how it all works. Technically, I'm challenged, but there's a place where you can... say this donation is in honor of or in recognition of. And so many people who are either volunteers like Rachel that we met and they shared their story, how they first started hugging for free mom hugs or they were at the store with their free mom hug shirt and the lady came around the counter and asked for a hug and it was a moment and then some bystanders came by and before you knew it, it was a group of people hugging each other.
00:22:52
Speaker
Yes, there's been some really wonderful stories. And I get emotional because we all remember those moments. The good so outweighs the bad.
00:23:05
Speaker
There's so many people who want to do something. So in this climate that we find ourselves in, how easy it to doom scroll and get so... discouraged and overwhelmed. I still do sometimes, but it doesn't take long to remember and see the goodness that is in people and that people want to do something.
00:23:28
Speaker
And the beautiful thing about Free Mom Hugs is that it offers that platform for people to show up and do something. And that's a beautiful thing. Is there a hug test that you have to pass before you get to volunteer?
00:23:43
Speaker
like Consent would be top of the list, consent. And we don't let go until they do. And if they don't want a hug, some people just really are not huggers for many whatever reasons. You just acknowledge each other. You just say, okay, listen, I'm glad you're here. We love you. We're celebrating you.
00:24:06
Speaker
If you're out of pride, you say happy pride. Go have fun. Things like that. But consent. High five.
00:24:16
Speaker
you Can you do manly fist bumps? Oh yes. Yeah. I think you i you answered my question actually literally. I was picturing a tackling dummy that and a people with clipboards creating your hugs. Oh, you know what?
00:24:29
Speaker
Tell you whether you're in or not. That's a good idea. There is a group, I don't know where they're from, but they made a banner, a free mom hugs banner that it said fist bumps, high fives. I don't know, all the different ways that you can connect. And that's funny.
00:24:44
Speaker
So we started with you're that that first Pride Parade. And like i said, i i imagine you probably have lines at most events. do You have lines of people waiting. yeah How did that grow from just a couple of people doing a nice thing at a Pride Parade into an organization? And then how did you get into all 50 states?
00:25:06
Speaker
Again, it went back to the post that went viral, that national attention.
Media Attention and Future Endeavors
00:25:11
Speaker
And then i was on a Jen Hatmaker podcast and that went viral. And then i wrote a book titled How We Sleep at Night, A Mother's Memoir.
00:25:21
Speaker
And it's self-published. I didn't graduate in high school. You find out how you talk about things being well-written. Don't proofread this one. Okay. you realize how limited your vocabulary is. But i I never would have thought that I would have written a book like, who am I right now? But I couldn't help but tell these stories that I was listening to and learning things I was learning along the way.
00:25:47
Speaker
And in this book, it talks about my journey from the church to the pride parade. Free Mom Hugs is not in this book because it wasn't even on my radar. I am working on a second book titled Beyond the Hug, and it will pick up where this one lifts off. But all that to say,
00:26:03
Speaker
when The post went viral. It caught the attention of Jamie Lee Curtis. And Jamie Lee Curtis sent me a direct message asking about that post. and That's got to be discombobulating. Oh, my gosh. and you the pur slides in your dna yeah The direct message said, hello, this is Jamie Lee Curtis. Your story is trending.
00:26:26
Speaker
Tell me about it. I want to know more. and i And she gave me her phone number. And she goes, will you call me so we can talk? And I thought, I'll call you right after I pray I'm not getting catfished.
00:26:38
Speaker
And so I did. I prayed I wasn't getting catfished. And I called her and she found out about the book. And she acquired the rights to the book to make a movie out of this book.
00:26:51
Speaker
ah It didn't come to fruition because COVID happened, then the writer's strike happened, and then she won an Emmy and an Oscar, rightfully, and that just took her above and beyond. But she... I'm sorry, I'm getting off topic here, but let me tell you but an incredible story. there She believes in the mission of Free Mom Hugs. In fact, I was employed at an architectural firm when Free Mom Hugs was getting going, and i just...
00:27:20
Speaker
It was hard to keep a job and do this at the same time, but she made a donation so I could quit my job. Oh, wow.
00:27:31
Speaker
and she believes in the mission she supports us every year she's shes just a great advocate and so all that to say it just we gained a lot of attention and people wanted to do what we were doing here and they didn't want to recreate the wheels so we started the nonprofit we just oklahoma city can i tell you one more story and i swear Yeah. That's what we're here for. Remember the transgender story that I shared with you about going to the meeting? It was around Valentine's Day. And from that meeting, I wanted to create a moment where things were happy and good, a good memory for the transgender community. So i thought, why don't we have a transgender Valentine's banquet that's free to the community. It's free to those who love and support them and we'll have a meal
00:28:24
Speaker
maybe a ah speaker or two and photographs, just whatever we can do to just make a happy memory free to the community.
Nonprofit Challenges and Community Support
00:28:33
Speaker
And so I started promoting that. We were just doing that in Oklahoma City. And a woman reached out and said, I'll send you $500, but I can only send it to a nonprofit.
00:28:44
Speaker
We didn't even have a bank account. And a friend of mine who ran a church in Oklahoma City on our gay strip, it's called Expressions Church, it's not there anymore, but a gay couple ran that church, did amazing things in the community. and we did projects together. They said, just umbrella under R.
00:29:02
Speaker
nonprofit and that way you don't have to worry about the red tape and you can take the donation and do your thing. We did that. She never sent the money in. She never sent it, but we became a nonprofit. Since then, we've become our own identity in the IN number.
00:29:19
Speaker
What was the question? and great I remember, but I'm having a while of a time. but That actually leads me into my next question. Can you explain a little bit about the reach of the nonprofit now? And of course, if you can share a little bit about what's it, because we're going to ask people to donate and to connect.
00:29:40
Speaker
If you can, yeah, just... 50 states? Are there chapters? how does How's the organization um organized? And how does that all work? Thank you so much because people, again, they want to show up, they want to do something. So we started with state chapters.
00:29:57
Speaker
These are individuals. And free mom hunts, we like to think of mom, the word mom being an action verb. We have dads, uncles, nieces. neck We have shirts that represent every member of the family.
00:30:11
Speaker
So we started with chapter leaders and we have chapters designated ah with regional areas. And we have budgets for each chapter. And for example, California is doing amazing work year round, whereas Nebraska or so Iowa may be a little smaller, but they're still serving the community. So we have budgets for each chapter.
00:30:33
Speaker
And we even are represented it in Moldova. We're represented it in Japan, Australia, Australia. And these are women that just have, I say women, but we have men chapter leaders too.
00:30:45
Speaker
As long as you're affirming, you have to be fully affirming. And that means that you honor same-sex marriage. You celebrate the community wholehearted. Mm-hmm. And we have chapter leaders who work, ah they collaborate with organizations where they are. They serve the community. And the only requirement that we have is that you show up at Pride Festival. And that's either with the table and you might have to three mugs, merch, which is we offer for sunscreen, water, bracelets, things like that. But it's about being that presence there.
00:31:17
Speaker
But more times than that, it leads to Helping out with a second chance prom or a national transgender Valentine's banquet or during COVID we sent out care packages.
00:31:27
Speaker
We had national pride rides. The beautiful thing is nobody really knows what free mom hugs looks like because we're always doing acclimating to whatever the need is.
00:31:40
Speaker
During COVID, we're an organization based on touch, physical touch. We started with care packages and that's learning that another mother was preparing a care package to send to their son. Why can't we do that?
00:31:52
Speaker
So we did. People would nominate. members in the community who were feeling alienated and alone during that time. And we had a national care package send out. UPS got a hold of it and they matched.
00:32:06
Speaker
It was an incredible time during COVID, even though it was devastating. We need a drinking game for the word devastating. I've
00:32:17
Speaker
Anyway, there's no... I'm trying to fight back tears. That's my goal for the rest of the podcast. is The what? I don't want to cry either. I don't want to cry either because i'm this is beautiful. so keep We'll do whatever it takes.
00:32:29
Speaker
We have the most creative, dedicated... Chapter leaders, area leaders, volunteers. We're at 500,000 EZ that are registered across the country.
00:32:42
Speaker
We show up at Pride festivals. We do whatever we can. Thanksgiving, we have several chapters who hosted Friendsgiving. Whatever it is, they're just they just represent the very heart of free mompokes. But it does take money. There's funding for supplies, for fees to get into pride festivals, things that they want to do to help support the organizations who are doing the work where they are.
00:33:10
Speaker
So it does take money. We are a national nonprofit, and we have to pay the insurance just like everybody else. And we have five staff on our full-time staff.
00:33:22
Speaker
Right now we have a working board. We're working towards a governing board. And we've just had to build the plane in the air, so to speak. But we have an amazing board president, board doing the work, and an executive director, ah chapter leader liaison, on social media staff. Just, they make me look really good.
00:33:44
Speaker
And I would imagine with a staff of five in a small community to support half a million volunteers, That's a tall order. So I'm sure every donation goes a long, long ways inside of that. You're right. and But we've been fortunate. We've had the support of Barefoot Wine & Bubbly, Vera Bradley, Hush Puppy Shoes.
00:34:04
Speaker
Let's talk about me for a minute. One of the most transformative moments of my life is that I went to a comic book convention that a friend of mine was running. And he sat me down ahead of time and he gave me all the rules and ways I could talk, ways ways I could act around people and things I was allowed to say and things I wasn't allowed to say.
00:34:28
Speaker
And i thought, this is ridiculous. I'm going to go and I'm going to have a good time. And then I went and I was immediately overwhelmed with the comedy of it all. And then the longer I stayed and the more that I looked around, i realized i was the one who was out of place because this place is the wrong word.
00:34:49
Speaker
I was the outsider in this scenario, not the things that I thought were funny because these were people, this was their place and they could be themselves and they, they wanted to do. And was, that was the most important lesson is that not everything is for me. And so.
00:35:08
Speaker
I, I've always thought that about pride is that I think pride is an extraordinary event. I think pride is a wonderful event, but I also know that it's not for me, a married straight guy. No.
00:35:20
Speaker
My question is this, how can somebody like me who wants to respect that the that the thing isn't for them also help support what you're doing? Thank you. And that is such an excellent point. I'm so glad that you brought that up. As allies, our, i don't want to say job, but our mission is to point two lift up,
00:35:43
Speaker
support, empower the community to live authentically, to be protected, to be supported. And i have learned some very important lessons along this way.
00:35:56
Speaker
For example, the transgender community, since my advocacy began, has been under fire. to such degrees where we have parents in a private online Facebook group with for parents with transgender children looking for safe places to raise their children.
00:36:16
Speaker
If every person who's opposed to the transgender community If they could spend one day in this private online Facebook group for parents with transgender children or PFLAG group like I went to, if they could just spend one day listening to the heart of these people, precious people, we wouldn't be having this the problems that we're having in the world. But all that to say, when the bathroom bill was making a big round,
00:36:47
Speaker
I had reporters asking me to interview about this subject. And and i did. i was happy to speak about it to try to raise awareness about what was happening.
00:36:59
Speaker
But rather than that, I learned a valuable lesson. You know what? I'm happy to talk about it. But why don't we invite our transgender friends to tell their stories, to talk about it? You see that lesson that I learned there?
00:37:09
Speaker
But there is a place. Pride Festival is a great place. place for allies to show up to support and celebrate the community. But as an ally, I don't go to everything. I don't go to the boom where there's a swimming pool where the community hangs out and has fun. I'm not like a mom. I'm not going to go there.
00:37:30
Speaker
I'm rambling now, but you're right.
Role of Allies in LGBTQ+ Support
00:37:32
Speaker
There's a... i love Yes, you're right. and we need to remember this is not about us. This is about a community that needs support, protection, and absolutely was created to be celebrated.
00:37:51
Speaker
Absolutely. And, you know, the many should look out for the few. And the the people that have... that that don't have to worry about their safety should be looking out for the people that do.
00:38:02
Speaker
And that's just how I was raised. I was raised very religious as well and went to a seminary high school. And the things that I took away are very different than the things that some of my classmates may have taken away. But I was less about doctrine and more about, okay, it's religion and faith and empathy all mean very similar things. And I take the embass empathy empathy part of that very seriously. And I think that's What I've always taken as my responsibility as an ally, as my my son is in the community. And he was the chair of the GSA in his high school, the Gay Strait Alliance. And we were very proud of him and let him do his thing. And he winds up all over the place. I don't know what he does or how he does it. And more power to him. He's just our son.
00:38:52
Speaker
And we just... whatever he needs and however he does it, we're all about that. For you, I think as we're looking at, we're close to the end of 2025 here, what do you wish for your community or for the world as we head into 2026 the year? That's yeah that's a doozy it here it I wish for world peace.
00:39:20
Speaker
There's just, I wish that we, i would hope for a day where we don't need three mom hugs like we do. Truly, I would wish for that. But until then, I wish for a way to, even more ways to help and support the community. I hope, I would like to have scholarships for safe housing, or to serve the transgender community in in viable ways, and support parents, and just to do what you're doing.
00:39:53
Speaker
That's what gives me hope. And I don't know what next year holds, but all I can do is just keep doing what I'm doing. Yeah. it worked Dave told you his the his favorite SNL sketch. I'll tell you mine. It's an old one with that I'll tell you and then I'll ask you a similar question. It's an old one it's a old one with Chris Farley where he had a show and we'd ask dumb questions and then he beat himself up.
00:40:19
Speaker
And he had Paul McCartney on the Chris Farley show. And the question that he asked Paul was at the end of the white album, you say the love you make, the love you take is equal equal to the love you make.
00:40:32
Speaker
And Paul said, yeah, that's true. And Chris goes, is that true? So with apologies to Chris Farley and Paul McCartney, Sarah is healing something as simple as seeing somebody and acknowledging them.
00:40:47
Speaker
Yes. I know this is true. And that's so powerful. It's practical and it's powerful and profound.
00:40:59
Speaker
I like that. I think that's a great place to start wrapping up. Dave, we're going to ask ah people for money. Do you want to do that? For sure. I would love to, again, as part of our sponsorship or as our sponsor would like us to ask, please visit freemomhugs.org.
00:41:15
Speaker
Sarah, where else would you like to guide people for donations or to find the next event? You can go to freemomhugs.org. And like you said previously, you can find your state chapter there.
00:41:27
Speaker
You can find merchandise there. What I love about our merchandise is that it sends a message when you can't use words. that you're a strong and faithful ally. You can find your state chapter when you get plugged in. That'll keep you in the loop of everything happening locally and just show up.
00:41:45
Speaker
And I guarantee you, I promise you, precious people, that you will not be disappointed. Just show up. I love that. Dave, I think we typically end these by and me asking you the Scooby-Doo question of what did we learn here today? But I think we...
00:42:00
Speaker
We definitely learned slots. We learned a lot. I think it's just something very simple. And I think Sarah was gracious enough to say, help us have our overall Arching Holiday message this holiday season is just everybody taking a step down from DEFCON 3 and taking breath and looking at everybody around you and realizing that everybody's hurting.
00:42:22
Speaker
And everybody's frustrated and everybody's just doing their best. Yeah. i look Look out for the community with Renita and take care of them. It's a great place to breathe and a great place to enter into 2026. Yeah. i have a friend, she says, do what you can where you're at with who you're with.
00:42:42
Speaker
and love that. tip Thank you, Clara. This has been another episode of Dial It in He's Dave. I'm Trigby. dial It In is produced by Andy Wachowski and Nicole Fairclough.
00:42:53
Speaker
And with apologies to Tony Kornheiser, we will also try to do better the next time. Here's a hug. Thank you.