Transcript
Speaker: And just like that, it's time for another episode of the Basics of Balance. Hello, my friends. Welcome back. My name is Ariella. And if you can't tell, if you've been listening to me for a while, um I like to think of kind of like my coaching style as very um holistic, holistic approach, functional approach, right? mind-body approach because i do not believe that we are robots. I believe very much that we are humans and our emotions dictate our choices and our past experiences shape our perception of the future. And like we are living, breathing things that are always adapting to our environments, right? And so that's a lot of the reason why in my coaching practice, I am the, I want, it's very important to me that when a client says that they are struggling with something, I help them see that struggle in a different way, right? It's not necessarily looking at things in like toxic positivity as much as, okay, well, let's try to understand why you fell off track because it rarely has to do with your willpower and it usually has something more to do with Um, you know, maybe you didn't sleep great and because you didn't sleep great, now your hunger hormones are hungrier than they would have been if you slept great. And so maybe you lost a little bit of control because you didn't sleep great and it wasn't really just because you didn't care. See what I'm saying? Very simple explanation. But if you can't tell, that's a lot of my ideology as it relates to being a coach, being a trainer, helping people make progress and make changes in order to, you know, see the changes they want in their life, right? But all of that to say, a lot of times when I'm working with people, we have identified that we have a goal that we are trying to achieve together, right? That's a whole reason that we're working together.
Speaker: But a lot of times when we are um attempting to, you know, make changes, We oftentimes look at making changes as a burden. We oftentimes look at making those changes as looking back on our past life fondly with rose-colored glasses and like, oh, I just wish I could just eat a burger whenever I want to. And like, I don't want to diet anymore. And I don't want to, you know, work out. And I don't want to, want to, want to. And like, what we don't realize is first of all,
Speaker: Nothing changes if nothing changes. You have identified that where you are right now is not where you want to be and you have a goal that you need help in reaching, right? And with that help comes changes that we need to make to your lifestyle to live a different life, right? To reach that goal, to see progress, to make you know all of these things, right?
Speaker: And nothing changes if nothing changes, but that also does not mean overhauling your life. Okay. So number one, recognizing that it is your choice. It is, you have identified the need to change and you have chosen to take action and change some things in your life to change the trajectory.
Speaker: of your life, right? And so remember that it's a choice. Nobody is making you do it. You have chosen it, okay, at the end of the day. um But again, yes, we have to make some changes, but that does not mean that we start from where we are and we go to like a complete 180, right, and go in the complete opposite direction. It's really important to make really, really small choices, those small choices create small changes over time that one day you look back on recognizing the big progress that came from those small changes that you might not have even felt like were a big deal in the first place. But looking back, you're like, oh my goodness, now I can see. You know what i mean? um And also when we are making small changes, we are allowing our headspace, our brain to adapt that new thought process, to adapt that new action, that new habit, that new choice. And each time you continue to choose that same choice, like you're reinforcing meal prepping, you're reinforcing waking up at the same time, that routine of that constant repetition, you are making it easier for your brain to adapt that as the new normal, okay?
Speaker: And so small choices, we have recognized that we need to make a change, we're making changes, but we're not overhauling, okay? on And the reason why I'm posing, you know, all of this like this, or I'm starting this conversation like this is because i think that when we are also making small changes, we are allowing ourselves to slow down and notice the small um ways that we actually enjoy the changes that we're making. They're different than the status quo. They don't feel comfortable. They don't feel normal and natural quite yet, but we are able to almost look at, huh, because I made this hard decision, I actually really like how I feel after I made that hard decision. So you start to learn to enjoy making a hard choice because you enjoy the outcome of that choice. And it might have not been easy in the moment, right? But you learn to almost gravitate towards that outcome after you have made that choice. OK.
Speaker: And so all of that to say today, we are going to talk about how enjoying your journey, enjoying the process is really important. OK. And when I say enjoying the process, I will be the first one to say early on in my fitness journey. When I was so hyper fixated on the end goal, right, looking a certain way, weighing a certain amount, whatever that physical end goal was, if you told me to enjoy the process, I am such a logistical type A person that I would roll my eyes at you. And I'd be like, who cares if I need to enjoy the process? I'm working towards a goal. Put my blinders on and let's go. Right. However, we have to remember this is a journey. There is no destination. Okay. You never get to a destination where it's like, okay, I reached my my target weight.
Speaker: Okay. Well, now what are you going to do? Go back to eating the way that you used to eat when you had originally identified that you needed to make a change in the first place. You can't do that. You know what i mean? Like you're starting on a journey. And at some point we have to accept that a lot of these behaviors, a lot of these habits are are going to be a lifestyle. Okay. So yes, we are maybe chasing a temporary goal of wanting to weigh something or look a certain way, right? Be toned and defined and all of these things. But when you reach that goal, you don't just stop, right? You, you find something else to work towards and continue to practice those same habits, whether we practice them with the same intensity or not is a different story. We talked about that a couple episodes ago. But all that to say, it there is no destination, okay? So yes, learning to enjoy the process basically translates into learning to enjoy your life because these choices um ah you know basically add up to the choices that you make throughout you your entire life. And why wouldn't you want to enjoy the choices that you make that equal your life, right?
Speaker: and So here's the thing, okay? um You are gonna be able...
Speaker: So early on, so when I'm working with a client and we are, you know, making changes, right? We're learning how to eat different. We're learning how to move different. We are learning how to stay consistent and almost like make it happen even when sometimes we don't want to, right? Or learn how to make it happen when it's less than ideal and adapt, right? In an effort to make it happen to the best of your ability, of course. But a lot of times, especially early on in the process, but I can't discredit that this does pop up even even with clients that I've worked with for years, okay?
Speaker: When you look back fondly on the lifestyle that you used to live before you started making these changes,
Speaker: When you look back on your life um before you started making these changes fondly and you almost start romanticizing about, man, I just want to go back to eating the way that I used to. i don't I don't feel like putting this much effort in anymore. I don't want to think about my fiber. I don't want to think about my protein. i don't care about my steps. I just want to go to a cookout and just eat whatever I want to eat.
Speaker: And here is the thing.
Speaker: And first of all, valid. OK, I will say if you're chasing a stricter. And first of all, valid. I will say if you're chasing a more strict goal. Yeah, you're being a little bit more disciplined. You're being a little bit more dialed in to those um to those.
Speaker: And I will say, if you are chasing a more strict goal, yes, you are going to have to be a little bit more dialed in to making healthier choices because you're you're chasing a temporary goal that you have chosen to chase, right? It's temporary. It's not always going to be like this. But if we want to achieve this outcome, then these are the habits and the actions that we have to do in order to get there, okay? So it's not going to be like this all the time. And that's also another reason why we get in.
Speaker: We get to work and we get out. So we don't have to feel that way. We don't have to feel like we're always constantly fighting ourselves, right? But when we look back on, you know, oh I just want to eat whatever I want to eat, we're missing a huge part of the other side of that coin, okay? You are basically looking for, i don't want to think so much. You're tired because you are putting forth so much effort because the habits and the actions that you are practicing they're not routine quite yet okay we haven't established that route that routine quite yet okay we're putting a lot more effort in because it's not so habitual quite yet and the only way that we're going to turn that from something that's newer and not habitual to something that is more routine and something that sure you have to choose but it's not as much effort to choose is time and repetition is to literally keep choosing it so sure it's not always gonna feel easy And you are allowed to want to not think about it as much. And here's what I'll say to you. If you are, on
Speaker: an untracked meal here and there is good for the soul. An untracked meal here or there or a unintentional meal here or there is not going to undo weeks or months or years of progress, okay? But what it is going to do is allow for a shift in perspective as much as far as Do you enjoy how you feel after months of making healthier choices, overindulging one day, and the feeling of that after the fact? So let me say that another way. Do you enjoy eating pizza?
Speaker: And do you also enjoy the feeling of when you had a half or an entire frozen pizza? Think about that for a second. So sure, we look back on those choices. We look back on being able to eat whatever you want. And we are only focused on one part of that enjoyment.
Speaker: We have completely forgotten about the fact that when we used to eat that way, our digestion was all over the place. We were bloated. We were gassy. We were irregular. Sometimes it's hard to pass. Like these things affect our quality of life. You had brain fog. You never had any energy. You weren't strong enough to do simple everyday tasks or even have energy to do everyday tasks. you youre you Do you see what I'm saying? So yes, no one is saying you're not allowed to have cravings. That's why we want to make room for those cravings as much as we can. that's another reason why we don't want to diet forever, right? Because when you're dieting, you don't have as much of that flexibility and as much freedom. However, at the end of the day, let's be honest with ourselves at the same time. Okay. When we are saying, I want to enjoy what I'm eating. You're only fixated on the few moments of like a flavor explosion in your mouth. You're not fixated on the outcome of those choices. And the outcome of those choices is what I, as a coach, am trying to get you to understand. Or I should say, get you to pay attention to and make the connection as to how those choices affect your quality of life, right? Because the flip side of enjoying what you're eating and really enjoying what you're eating in the few, you know, flavor explosion minutes in your mouth. And then also how you feel after the fact, how you feel after the fact is what's going to keep you coming back to that same meal. And so how you feel after the fact starts becoming the intention behind why you chose to eat that meal. So it's not necessarily looking at that that food as, ha man, I wish this was anything else, as much as, hey, this is going to get me from point A to point B. This is not going to make me feel nasty. This is going to give me tons of energy. I'm going to feel amazing after the fact. Those start to be your intentions behind your actions. So then you don't necessarily need to rely as much on motivation, right? The fleeting feeling, if you will. OK, similarly, you can look at that that with exercise. OK, you might not want to, you know, go work out. Right. And again, valid. You're a human. You're not a robot. And I do think that there is some, you know, value in saying Sometimes an unplanned rest day is just what your body needs, especially if you are showing any signs that your body is like overworked or under fueled. Listen to the biofeedback episode we did a while back. But, you know, if you our if you don't feel like working out, give yourself an unplanned rest day. It's not the end of the world. However.
Speaker: When we ah make ourselves work out, right, even if that means that we shorten the workout or we are not lifting as heavy, we're just going through the motions, or maybe that means that we're not working out and we're just going to go for a walk instead. We're adapting how we move, right?
Speaker: You might not want to do the act of working out, but do you want the outcome? of what that workout is going to provide for your quality of life? Do you want the ah better mood? Do you want the more energy?
Speaker: As a foodie, do you want to have a bigger appetite because working out makes you hungrier so that you can eat more food? I mean, like literally. So I hear what you're saying, right? Like if you're a client coming to me and saying these things, I hear you, right?
Speaker: But understand how I see it also at the same time because I was where you were. and And now that I'm on this side of things, I want you to understand it just like how I learned it, right?
Speaker: So I want to take a few minutes and kind of just like unravel this this message of enjoyment can mean more than one thing because we are emotional beings as humans, right? But we also can't forget that our emotions lie to us. We cannot live a life letting our emotions lead, okay? As adults, we sometimes have to do things we don't want to do, right? As adults, we sometimes don't have all of the freedom that we would like because we have obligations and responsibilities. and You know what I mean? So our lifestyle kind of dictates the fact that we sometimes can't get what we want, okay? Okay. And at the end of the day, I don't think that's necessarily a bad thing if we can view it in a empowering way. OK, so what I mean by that is i want you to just kind of understand that. There is a lot of freedom in restraint. okay Restraint is not the same as restriction. Restraint is basically your ability to say, um i am choosing to delay immediate gratification.
Speaker: I want this, but I'm not allowing myself to have it. I can have it. I'm allowed to have it. I'm choosing to not have it because I want that more. And if I allow myself to have this, it's going to affect my ability to get that. And I want that. So I'm making the the decision to say, i want this. I'm just going to wait till later. It's all good. Right. Versus restriction. I want this and I can't have that.
Speaker: OK, I want to eat that other piece of cake, but I can't have it because I'm in a deficit. And therefore, it's going to put me over my target. So I can't have that. Well, when you live in restriction for too long, the greater the restriction, your biological response is to overindulge. OK, and so we don't want to live in restriction for too long. When you're dieting, you are in restriction. So that's another reason to get in.
Speaker: get to work, move on with your life. But even when you're in a maintenance frame of mind, you still need to practice restraint. There is a difference, again, like I said, between restraint and restriction. Restraint is something that you are going constantly have to do, okay? As an adult, we do this every single day, like I said, with work and obligations and stuff. But in your fitness journey, restraint is part of the process. And if we are trying to learn to enjoy the process, then in some way, shape, or form, We need to adapt to the idea that we need to learn to enjoy the art of practicing restraint. You see what I'm saying where I'm going with this? So all of that to say, enjoying what you eat doesn't also have to mean YOLO. Okay. Enjoying what you eat doesn't automatically always have to mean i am overindulging or i every time I go to my friend's house, we always go crazy with wine and cheese and and things like that.
Speaker: Okay, well, maybe that's how it used to be, but we're making a change. Do you also enjoy how you feel when you go to your friend's house and you have all of the wine and the cheese the next day when you are super hungover, when your digestion is all over the place, ah you're super irritable, yada, yada, yada, right? Again, girls' nights are good for the soul. I'm not saying don't have a girls' night, but do you see what I'm saying, right? Yes, okay, enjoy what you eat, enjoy your life, but that doesn't automatically turn into, hey, open the floodgates. And oftentimes, that's usually what we do. We get to the weekend, and because we were so restrictive, there's that word again, during the week, we Look at the weekend as an opportunity to let loose. You deserve it. You work so hard, right? Not realizing that we are going way over our, ah you know, calorie threshold, whatever we're working on. Even if you're not counting calories, you're still consuming more calories than you probably are intending. um And at the end of the day, we are basically staying on a hamster wheel, right?
Speaker: Anyways, I'm going off on a tangent, but my entire point is we we create these connections in our brain and we don't realize that we are. And so all of that to say, you know, enjoyment does not automatically mean open the floodgates, right? Whether that's a weekend, a girl's trip, you know, whatever the case is. You can enjoy eating the same two to three meals every single week, keeping them on rotation because you can enjoy how You don't have to decide. You don't have to make a decision. You already know what you're going to eat and that meal is going to get you from point A to point B. It's going to get you through the day. It's going to get you closer to your goals and therefore you can enjoy eating that meal, but also the repetition of eating that meal throughout the week.
Speaker: See what I'm saying? You can also enjoy eating the same meal every single day, like literally breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Okay. This is a very extreme approach. I'm not necessarily saying do this, but in the sake of conversation and the sake of a example, you can absolutely enjoy that. We are, we're always looking for a variety, right? We're always looking for like, Oh, you know, I want, I want the, the, this most Instagram worthy meal and I want this and Oh, I'm looking for the best meal for that. And I want the best meal for this. And it's because we care. It's coming from good intentions. However, At the end of the day, we have the same coffee every single day.
Speaker: Our ancestors did not have as much variety. They had like meat and potatoes and like maybe a veggie. You know what i mean? Like we have come up with this whole like we need something different and new. And if we can't have that something different or new, now we get bored and like that's a bad thing. When at the end of the day, food can just be food. Food can literally just be sustenance. to like fuel your body so that you can have brain activity and also like physical energy to live your best life, to not have to wonder if you can do something, but no, you can't, or to help somebody out or to get through your day or be the best employee or mom or, you know, whatever the case is, right?
Speaker: Shifting your focus to your workouts, right? For example, um you know, if you're somebody who your only opportunity to work out is in the mornings, Listen, you might not want to wake up that early. You might want to hit snooze. You might want to sleep in. But do you also enjoy the feeling of not having energy because you chose to not work out?
Speaker: Do you also enjoy the feeling of just kind of feeling off, like your headspace is off. Like when you get so consistent in working out, that starts to become one of the um ah ways that which we enjoy our workouts, right, is how you feel after the fact. um And so do you also enjoy how you feel when you choose to sleep in compared to when you choose to make that hard decision in the moment, make yourself get up out of bed and also, you know, go on with your workout? And don't get me wrong, let's hope that you're getting plenty of sleep. Let's hope that you're you know going to bed at a decent time to make it easier for you to wake up earlier, right? So you're not starting your day from a sleep deficit. But anyways, do you enjoy...
Speaker: Working out, but do you also enjoy that unplanned rest day and how you feel for the rest of the day because you chose to take the day off, right? Even your evening worker outers, okay? Maybe a happy hour was a last minute plan that, you know, you and your coworkers wanted to do tonight, but you also had a workout. Okay. Do you enjoy going out to happy hour and eating and drinking whatever you want because you wanted it in the moment, right? Do you also enjoy how you would have felt if you were to have maybe said, hey, I'm going to be a little bit late and I'm going shorten my workout, but in an effort so that I can, number one, stay consistent. Number two, reach my goals. Number three, feel my best. And also, make the most out of both situations. I'm going to go get my workout in, check my box, fill my cup. And then when I get there, sure, I'll have like maybe a drink rather than, nope, I'm going to skip the workout. Now I'm going to be there for the whole entire time. going have a few drinks. Now tomorrow morning, I'm going to wake up and not feel great.
Speaker: See what I'm saying? So a ah few quick one hitters, just as we kind of wrap things up. Okay. Do you enjoy having brain fog or do you enjoy having energy from getting great sleep, from eating in a way that doesn't restrict carbs because carbs are your number one source of energy, from moving your body regularly because the more you move, the more energy you have?
Speaker: Do you enjoy not having regular digestion? Do you feel bloated and maybe constipated? Are you gassy? Does that feel good? Or do you enjoy how you feel when you include enough fiber into your day, when you include enough dietary fat into your day, both of which help keep you regular in addition to making sure that you're staying hydrated, in addition to, hey, make sure that we're at least staying active throughout the day. Maybe that's steps, right? Because that helps regulate digestion.
Speaker: Wow. So, you know, nothing tastes as good as skinny feels. Do you also enjoy feeling hungry every single day? Or do you do you enjoy the feeling of not feeling hungry because you're not constantly, um you know, dieting? You're fueling appropriately, right? Similarly, do you enjoy feeling, you know, weak and and tired and lethargic? Or do you enjoy feeling strong in your lifts and,
Speaker: by not feeling hungry and by feeling strong in your lifts, that dictates, hey, we're not living in restriction. We are eating enough balanced food. We are giving ourselves permission to eat and fuel versus restrict and remove, right?
Speaker: How about do you enjoy the familiarity of the same workouts? Okay, so rather than switching it up every day or every single week to quote unquote confuse your muscles, which isn't a thing, Do you enjoy the familiarity of literally knowing that today is leg day? And already having your workout programmed for you and literally just being able to say, I remember when I did this last week and I'm going to do it again this week. And man, it was so good to not have to think and come up with it, you know, ah something brand new. Right.
Speaker: And honestly, the last one, which I think is the most important. Do you enjoy the pride and the confidence that comes from keeping the promises to yourself and looking back, feeling proud rather than defeated?
Speaker: Or do you enjoy the guilt and the shame that comes from letting life choose for you, right? Not being prepared, not planning, not thinking ahead, not you know, trying to see how you can stay in control over your choices and instead basically letting life dictate for you and having no say in your choices and therefore feeling guilty and shameful when you feel like you've fallen fallen off of track or you've done something quote unquote wrong, right? Like taking a unplanned rest day or anything like that. Do you enjoy that feeling, the shame and the pride, or I'm sorry, the shame and the the guilt, or do you enjoy the pride and looking back feeling like, man, I am so glad that I stuck to my guns. It was so hard to do, but I'm so proud of myself. I'm on the other side of it. And that feels amazing.
Speaker: So As you go through this week, you know, weekend, whenever you're listening to this podcast, think about that. Take a few minutes, right? When you are making a change in your life that dictates that there's going to be some friction, okay? It's not going to be easy until it's your normal. But the only way to make it normal is to continue to choose that action over and over again, okay? And no, you are not a robot. You are a human, which is why there's so many examples as to what enjoyment can mean, right? Because there's so many different, you know,
Speaker: situations that we find ourselves in. and we might choose to say yes to something one time. And in that very same situation, the next time choose to say no. And the intention behind your action is ultimately going to help you make the decision as to what you need to be saying. But I just wanted to kind of touch on that whole idea and and in how a lot of times we don't realize that how we talk about our situation and our goals, if we look at our situation, our goals is something that we have to like grit through and like it's a burden, who wants to live like that? I mean, it's a journey, right? Versus if we can find some other ways um to look at the process, to look at the changes that we're making that are not easy to make as a little bit more enjoyable, well, then we're going to give ourselves a little bit more longevity, right? And and allowing ourselves to have more longevity is going to increase our chances of staying consistent. And the more consistent we are, the more progress we see. So it's it's a positive spin, if you will. But I do think that it's worth your effort or I'm sorry, your time in order to you know take some take some time to think about your choices. Right. Do you enjoy it? Sure. But you also enjoy the outcome of that choice. And that's what we're after. That's how we are. learning to be in the driver's seat of our journey and therefore own our journey at the end of the day. Right.
Speaker: And so I hope that this is helpful for you as usual. i would love to hear from you as usual. And so obviously feel free to, you know, comment wherever you're listening to this podcast. I would really appreciate, ah you know, leaving a five star review, really appreciate subscribing, following along. Um, and then also of course, you know, sharing it with your friends, family and whatnot, but until next time, guys, just remember enjoying can mean more than one thing and the intentions behind your actions matter. All right. Enjoy the process. There is no finish line. There is no destination show up, do your best. Keep going.
