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Episode 17: Healing Through Caregiving: Disorganized Attachment and Aging Parents
48 Plays2 months ago
Caregiving for a parent when your relationship is complex or strained can feel like an emotional rollercoaster. In this episode, Dr. Barbara Sparacino unpacks disorganized attachment, shares Maria’s story of finding balance and healing, and provides tools for caregivers to set boundaries, process unresolved emotions, and focus on the present.Keywords:
Disorganized attachment, caregiving trauma, healing relationships, unresolved emotions, aging parents, family caregiving, emotional boundaries.Call to Action:
“Don’t navigate caregiving alone. Subscribe to The Aging Parent Playbook or visit TheAgingParentCoach.com for one-on-one coaching support.”
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Transcript
Introduction to Disorganized Attachment
00:00:01
Speaker
Welcome back to the Aging Parent Playbook. I'm your host, Dr. Barbara Sperisino, and today we're discussing disorganized attachment, an attachment style that can make caregiving feel like an emotional rollercoaster.
Emotional Complexity in Caregiving
00:00:13
Speaker
If your relationship with your parent has been strained or complicated, caregiving can bring up unresolved emotions like guilt, anger, or even fear. But it can also be an opportunity for healing. Let's explore how disorganized attachment shapes caregiving and how to navigate it with compassion and growth.
Understanding Disorganized Attachment
00:00:33
Speaker
So what is disorganized attachment? Disorganized attachment often stems from trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving in childhood. It combines both anxious and avoidant traits, leading to conflicting feelings about closeness and independence. In caregiving, disorganized attachment might look like oscillating between wanting to help and feeling resentful
00:00:59
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Revisiting old wounds or unresolved conflicts with your parent. Feeling overwhelmed or stuck in cycles of guilt and avoidance. So
Impact on Caregiving and Empathy
00:01:10
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how does disorganized attachment impact caregiving? Disorganized attachment can make caregiving feel chaotic, but it also means you have a deep capacity for empathy and insight.
00:01:25
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So
Therapeutic Journey of a Caregiver
00:01:26
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Maria, one of my clients had a strained relationship with her mother' mother who was critical during Maria's childhood. When her mom developed dementia, Maria struggled with feelings of anger and guilt. Through therapy and coaching, Maria created caregiving routines that respected her emotional limits, like hiring professional help for tasks she found triggering. She also learned to separate her past hurts from her mother's current needs.
00:01:53
Speaker
allowing her to show up with more compassion and live according to her values. So what
Practical Tips for Caregiving
00:02:00
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are some practical tips for disorganized attachment caregivers? If you resonate with disorganized attachment, here's how you can navigate caregiving. First, seek professional support. Therapy and coaching can help you process unresolved emotions.
00:02:20
Speaker
Set emotional boundaries. Be clear about what you can and cannot do without compromising your wellbeing. Create routines. Structured caregiving tasks can reduce emotional overwhelm and provide clarity. And remember, focus on the present. Remind yourself that caregiving is about meeting your parents' current needs, not revisiting past conflicts. And this is only if it's safe for you.
00:02:49
Speaker
Disorganized attachment caregiving offers an opportunity for healing and growth. By
Resources and Support
00:02:56
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seeking support, setting boundaries, and focusing on the present, you can navigate compassion caregiving with compassion for yourself and your parent. Thank you for tuning into this episode of the Aging Parent Playbook. If this episode spoke to you, subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone who might find it helpful. And remember, you don't have to navigate this journey alone.
00:03:19
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Visit theagingparentcoach.com for more support. Take care and remember, you've got this.