When Safe, Heard, and Understood is Not Enough

Is feeling safe, heard, and understood enough for lasting love? In this Love U Podcast, I share two powerful coaching stories that reveal why a “good on paper” relationship isn’t always the right relationship. Learn the difference between healthy pacing and unhealthy pressure, and why chemistry still matters when building a life together. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re settling or simply being smart, this episode will help you find clarity and trust your heart. Tune in now to get the relationship you truly deserve.

What You’ll Hear:

• Evan shares why feeling safe, heard, and understood is essential but not sufficient for a successful relationship.
• Story of a client who found an amazing relationship after a decade of not dating but is now pushing her boyfriend to accelerate marriage and family plans, risking the relationship.
• The importance of allowing men to choose commitment on their own timeline rather than applying pressure.
• The crucial distinction between being empowered and being effective in dating.
• Hard truth: Men (and people in general) resist being told what to do, and forcing outcomes in relationships often backfires.
• Story of another client engaged to a good man but struggling with low attraction and fun levels, leading to doubts about the relationship’s long-term potential.
• Evan’s simple evaluation tool: Rate your relationship on comfort, fun, and attraction; ideally, you want a 10 in comfort and at least a 7 in fun and attraction.
• The danger of settling for a relationship that feels like a “B-minus” when you deserve an “A.”
• Personal story about Evan’s mother settling for a “nice guy” after Evan’s father passed away and how that choice ultimately left her unfulfilled.
• The nuanced balance: You need chemistry and a good person—you can’t thrive with just one or the other.
• Powerful reminder that millions of quality men exist; you don’t have to settle out of fear.
• Encouragement to trust your feelings and not override red flags for the sake of convenience or fear of starting over.
• Invitation to attend the next Extraordinary Love Series on “The Power of Feminine Energy” to inspire men to pursue you.

Full Episode Transcript:

Today’s topic excites me so very much that I’m going to tell you at the top of the episode, before I say all the other stuff that I normally say, to stick around for the rest of this episode.

I’m telling two great stories today that you’re going to want to hear that are going to impact the way you look at dating and relationships. So please, for your sake, not mine, stick around to the end of this episode. My name is Evan Marc Katz.

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