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Episode 20 - Japanese Toilet Spirits, Elmer McCurdy, and Updatapalooza
13 Plays1 month ago
Nylene dances with Japanese water spirits and Nym travels through carnival attractions and filming sets with an unlucky outlaw. Ace joins for an update on a crime from a previous episode.
Enter the Nightmare for show notes, sources, transcripts, and more!
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Transcript
Introduction and Sleep Anecdotes
00:00:29
Speaker
Welcome to Nim and Nyleen's Nightmare Cottage, where we discuss dark locations, sinister media, and other tales of the macabre. I'm Nim. And I'm Nyleen. Let the nightmare begin.
00:00:48
Speaker
followed into the nightmare if you dare so we could catch all of my snoring man i was snoring so bad last night my throat hurts so bad i know that i was snoring but you have the thingy i know but i think my nose was stopped up and it's one of the like nosey paps ah oh no how did so you're a mouth breather than i'm not when your nose is stuffed up when my nose is why your throat yes yeah that sounds uncomfortable it is very uncomfortable But I also have jaw issues because I'm always sitting there like holding my mouth shut at night.
00:01:26
Speaker
There's a chin strap I could wear, but I'm not doing that. Do you know people put tape over their mouths at night to like keep themselves from like having sleep apnea?
00:01:36
Speaker
What if their nose gets stuffed up? They're going to die. I know, man. People do it. They sell medical tape. I don't know like how approved it is, but they do that you can put over your mouth.
Nyleen's Bird Adventures
00:01:46
Speaker
That seems like.
00:01:48
Speaker
It's a good way to keep your lip waxed.
00:01:51
Speaker
I was gonna say it's it's a good way to end up in a true crime or I mean fucked up story podcast with sleep apnea you kind of just stop breathing anyways which and you do the things that I did where it's like you're kind of possessed like I would just be like sitting there mouth open like the grudge just making weird noises so your ace is sleep paralysis demon yes he was horrified and dash is yours yeah Oh my gosh, dude. He keeps putting his little feet like he likes to sleep sideways.
00:02:25
Speaker
I'll put his head against Ace and Ace put up a pillow wall. So he's protected. but there's not enough room on my side if he does that. So he he sleeps sideways and his little feet just go like right under my ribs because he likes to keep them warm.
00:02:41
Speaker
I try to put socks on them at night or like I'll hold them just so he'll stop because, man, those little sausages are just so bogey. Talk about a nightmare.
00:02:51
Speaker
Just wrap yourself in pillows. You'll be fine. Just strap them looking cant It feels like I'm getting like stabbed in my sleep. Sorry. How have you been?
00:03:03
Speaker
Great. Good. I've been fighting with the mockingbirds at work. Oh my God. We're having bird problems too. What are yours doing? Well, okay. So, you know, I feed my crows. i I keep, I forgot about that. keep a big ass bag of walnuts in my desk drawer. And every morning when I get there, I go and put all my stuff down. I run out and then I like snow white fling a handful of nuts out to attract my crows.
00:03:27
Speaker
corvid friends and it's been great like the whole time we've been in this office and you know they've they've been recurring characters and i love them but lately i have noticed or recently i noticed that so that i had my crows were out there and they were eating and then i noticed this asshole mockingbird just fucking dive bomb they're the worst Like they were trying to get them to go away. And I feel like they've more or less succeeded because I hardly ever see the crows anymore. So the other day at work, I...
00:04:00
Speaker
see them out there doing this thing. So I run out there with a broom to kind of swat at the mockingbirds and yelling at them to get away from my corvids. And at least three strangers and one of my coworkers got to witness this. Oh no.
00:04:13
Speaker
Oh no. So I'm the crazy lady that screams at birds with a broom. Do they say anything you? No. Oh my God. That's so funny. i mean, it's... I love that. I'm not not myself at work. I mean, they know I'm, you know, a spooky bitch, but nobody needed to see me running and screaming at birds. That's fair.
00:04:36
Speaker
That's fair. How have you
Road Trip and Cultural Crime Stories
00:04:38
Speaker
been? um i mean, i have been fighting with birds like not quite that bad. I think I so told you like maybe a few weeks ago that I was sitting out back reading on the back porch and because it was really nice. It's kind of cool, but you know, little warm.
00:04:56
Speaker
And this bird kept like going in and out of the patio, like really close to me. And I was like, trying to sounds like a dare. Yeah, it was I was like, I don't like this. Like ding dong to ching. Yes, you're right. That's not like a dare.
00:05:12
Speaker
Anyways, so we noticed there's these two birds that keep coming in and going on the power lines of like the lights patio lights we have out there and standing on the fan they're trying to build a nest but these fucking birds they're not ah horrible like they don't they don't fuck anything up They aren't like really overly aggressive like mockingbirds are, but they are like pooping all over fucking everything.
00:05:39
Speaker
And the worst part is they're called barn swallows. Oh, yeah. Yes. So apparently barn swallows, you can't remove the nest once it's been made or has eggs in it. Like it's not legal. Who's the going to fucking enforce that? I don't know, but I do have an HOA. And man, these people get crazy sometimes. So I'm like...
00:06:00
Speaker
I don't know if I can do all that. And so I'm like, how do I keep them from making a nest in my backyard? Like, they're fine. They're nice. I love birds. But please know they build like the little mud nest kind of like mud doblers do.
00:06:12
Speaker
So that's what I'm dealing with. And then about to go on a trip and to Pennsylvania and see my sister. So we'll see how that goes. Road trip with the kiddo. Yeah. Yeah.
00:06:23
Speaker
Yeah. It's our first one. Just us three. So we'll see. It'll be fun. I'm sure. Well, I expect to hear all about the shenanigans that ensue, good and bad. So what else? Anything else you want to talk about today?
00:06:37
Speaker
We will have Ace on later. so we talked about when Nyleen covered Gary Hilton, the National Forest Killer, a few episodes ago now that like the day that that episode dropped, they were releasing an update that he had come forward to admit to more things. And like it was the day that the episode was releasing. So we we couldn't do it. So we did finally, i say we, I didn't have anything to do with it. They got around to Nyleen and Ace sat down and talked about the update.
00:07:04
Speaker
So that's going to be coming towards the end of the episode. So look forward to that. But first, we each still have tales for you. Yeah. So it's almost like a three part one today. You get extra today.
00:07:16
Speaker
Yes. Bonus. Bonus nightmares. Yes. Bonus nightmares.
00:07:24
Speaker
Let's do it. All right. Recently, i started delving into Japanese crime, right? So I talked a little bit about that. I've been looking at more of that. um And honestly, it's got me like kind of wanting to look at like crime and like haunted things in other places.
00:07:40
Speaker
Because like, obviously, like, we're in the US, like we know a lot of these and I'm like, these feel kind of I've heard all the tales before. Right. And while human nature is human nature, cultures handle crimes differently. Yes. So it actually led me into looking at some pretty cool Japanese folklore, like some of it's, you know, funny, kind of weird. Love that. Yeah. So it's it's similar to kind of like the Yulads of the Nords that we discussed around Christmas time.
00:08:06
Speaker
Japanese folklore has its own like nefarious creatures to contend with. um So today I'm going to talk about Japanese water spirits, which are a type of yokai.
00:08:17
Speaker
Yeah. Yes. um Like ghost spirit. Yeah. They're said to interact with the human world in a way that can be like mischievous, good or frightening. Kind of like I like to think of them like the fae, but spirits like they're just they can be tricksters or they can really fuck your shit up.
00:08:32
Speaker
So there's actually a book called The Book of Yobai, Mysterious Creatures of Japanese Folklore. And it's by Michael Dillon Foster. It's actually pretty good. I started reading some of it.
00:08:43
Speaker
I haven't finished it, but I used some parts for this. But in his book, Foster talks about bathrooms like it's a liminal space. Like that connects with the normal world.
00:08:54
Speaker
Every world to, like it connects every, like our current world to another world, right? yeah Like the sewer. He talks about, quote, in that sense, the bathroom is a place of transition and the toilet in particular is a portal to a mysterious other world.
00:09:11
Speaker
End quote. So- I kind of love this concept. I know. I was like, whoa. So basically the bathroom's a way for these spirits to get to us in one of our most vulnerable states. I'm kidding. Yeah. Think about how they talk about like the world between fey and mortal and in fantasy and things like that. So I hope it's not just me, but I i am one of those people who has like an irrational fear that something's going to attack me if I don't turn on the light and look in the toilet before I sit on it in the dark. Is that just me?
00:09:40
Speaker
ah Definitely not just you. i came across that fear a little later in life, but now I, I've seen too many like Reddit videos and stuff of, Snakes coming Yes. Yeah. Yes. It's not even like a supernatural thing. It's like, I just have to make sure there's nothing Right. This is connected the sewer systems, like you said. Yeah.
00:09:56
Speaker
Shit's down there, man. a Shit is down there. Yes. So if anything, maybe these stories will have you installing a nightlight in your bathroom more permanently. But we'll see.
00:10:08
Speaker
There's a few different ones I'll be going over. Just wanted to like kind of look at the most popular ones. Some of these were a little weird. So i was like, don't know. Some of these toilet demons are a little weird.
00:10:19
Speaker
Like. Okay.
00:10:24
Speaker
Have you ever heard of Hanako-san? I guess not. Okay. So this is a popular urban like legend, similar to like kind of the Bloody Mary is, i don't know if that's just in the U.S., s but Bloody Mary is a big one for us.
00:10:40
Speaker
She's said to be the spirit of a young girl who haunts elementary school bathrooms due to her tragic death, which varies depending on who tells it. um In some stories, she was chased to by a madman and left in the stall dead over the holiday.
00:10:54
Speaker
In another one, she died in the bathroom stall during an air raid. Like there was an air raid happening and she didn't hear it. All of her classmates got away. um She wears a red skirt, a white shirt, and suspenders, and she has a bob haircut.
00:11:09
Speaker
You can summon her by going up to the girls' bathroom on the third floor, specifically, knocking on the third stall three times and saying, Are you there, Hanako-san?
00:11:22
Speaker
She will reply in a scratchy voice, Yes, I am. Hmm. Or her disembodied hand will appear. it said if you try to enter the stall, you will be eaten by a three-headed lizard or dragged down the toilet to be killed. a lot of threes in this.
00:11:38
Speaker
um The legend dates back to the 1950s, but it was apparently really popular in the 80s and the 90s. So just thought, I thought it was funny that it went from being a spirit to like well lizard. Well, don't know. Does it not just screen Moaning Myrtle and... It does.
00:11:55
Speaker
I was thinking just that. Chambers, secrets and all that. yeah Anyways, yeah. Yeah, I was thinking that too. Akanomanto is another popular story, which translates to Red Cloak or Red Fest.
00:12:08
Speaker
Again, this one relates to elementary schools and is usually regarding an older or lesser used bathroom. with a squat toilet, or it's just the fourth stall that is cursed as four is said to be a number associated with death.
00:12:22
Speaker
So in this story, you are at the school late one day and you find yourself urgently needing to use the restroom. You rush out of the classroom to find that the closest available restroom is that old one.
00:12:35
Speaker
that is never maintained or rumored to be haunted. You're fighting a losing battle in your pants and you rush in anyways. You do your business and just as you reach for the toilet paper, you notice in horror, there is no paper.
00:12:50
Speaker
You panic and you hear a voice on the other side of the stall ask you, do you want red paper or blue paper? What would your answer be?
00:13:02
Speaker
First, I want to say that I'm glad that I'm on a toilet because I'd probably lose my shit. Or piss myself. So again, perfect place. Knowing me and my inability to answer a phone or, you know, the door when somebody knocks unexpectedly, I wonder if I would say anything at all.
00:13:23
Speaker
But also probably blue. If you answer blue paper... Either all of your blood will be sucked out of you. That's why I was afraid of the red one. Or you'll be strangled, leaving you dead and blue-faced on the floor.
00:13:35
Speaker
Wow. So you want to choose a red one? Well, tell me what happens. We're going to go ah choose your own adventure style here. We're going to go back since we died on this one. So if you choose red paper...
00:13:47
Speaker
A tall man with a sickly bluish white face will appear and slice you up so violently that your blood will spray all over the inside of the stall and all over your clothing, making it look like you are wearing a red cloak.
00:14:00
Speaker
So I was right the first time when I said don't respond. Well, if you answer yellow paper, it will drown you in the toilet bowl. I didn't remember that being an option.
00:14:12
Speaker
It's not. Okay. it's if This is like different answers that people are like, well, fine, I'll do this. I wouldn't ask for yellow paper in a bathroom. That sounds like used. Now, if you try to be smart and bring your own paper to thwart the spirit, ah the paper will just vanish before you're able to use it, leaving you to answer the question once again.
00:14:31
Speaker
If you decline any paper, you say, no, thank you. i' i don't need paper. Then you will, you should have time to run out of the bathroom before it tries to attack you. So the correct answer is don't wipe yourself.
00:14:45
Speaker
Yeah, drip dry. Hopefully you didn't go there too.
00:14:50
Speaker
Oh, God. This legend actually dates back to at least 1930. And its appearance and responses to its inquiry will vary depending on the changes to the Japanese lexicon. So for example, manto today means cloak or cape describing what the creature is wearing.
00:15:07
Speaker
and what it does to you. But in the 1930s, Manto meant a sleeveless kimono jacket. So this could cause differences in the appearance of the creature over time. The worst version for me is that it's not a creature with a cape in the next stall, but a hairy yokai called K-Nade who lives in the toilet and likes to stroke the user's butt with its hands, depending on what color you say is a color hand that will come out of the toilet.
00:15:35
Speaker
while you don't die it just i can't deal with that i don't want anything touching my butt while i'm in there that's almost like worse i i'd rather just die at that point well all of those deaths sounded pretty horrendous and this guy's just stroking you right yeah she's just like yes my pretty i mean you're like fine like i mean if it's between a horrible death And ah creepy caress. I would be traumatized.
00:16:07
Speaker
I would be traumatized, but I'd be alive and not in a horribly brutal way. don't know if I'd want to be alive after that. It was weird. You're literally married to a hairy goblin. Hey!
00:16:21
Speaker
Our final popular telling of a water spirit is Kashima Riko. ah She is the ghost of a woman who once lived in Hokkaido, Japan. One night, she was walking home and was attacked by a group of men and left for dead.
00:16:36
Speaker
She crawled around screaming for help, but no one heard her. She passed out on the railway track and was killed when a train ran her over when it cut her in two. ah similar legend is that a tiki tiki since they were both cut in half by a train, but they're not the same spirit.
00:16:53
Speaker
So get it right. Yeah, could be two. But back to Kashima. So when you go to sit on the toilet at a school or home, this one doesn't care. The other two, you had to be in an elementary school.
00:17:04
Speaker
Specifically elementary school night. Yeah, and in those two stalls. But this one, she doesn't care. This is anywhere. It's not even a particular stall. um You will hear someone in the next stall ask, where are my legs?
00:17:16
Speaker
The correct reply would be on the Mishin Expressway. Any other response will cause her to tear your legs off. Seems rude. Additionally, she might ask you a trick question. Do you know my name?
00:17:28
Speaker
And if you answer Kashima, she will tear your legs off. If you instead say mass death demon in English, she will vanish because that is what the symbols of her name mean.
00:17:41
Speaker
Lastly, it's said that after hearing the story of Kashima Riko, she will appear to you within a month. So good luck out there. Just had to take it back to like the the spam mail days. of So all of our lovely listeners...
00:17:57
Speaker
yeah How long do we have? We have 30 days? Seven days. Seven days. I'm just kidding. It is 30 days. 30 days and we will be visited by this bitch who wants to steal our legs. Yes. So if you are sitting on a toilet and you hear someone say, where are my legs?
00:18:13
Speaker
You need to say on the Mission Expressway. And I really hope I pronounce that right because otherwise we're all dead. On the Mission Expressway. Yeah. That's all very fucked up.
00:18:23
Speaker
Yeah. And then this is just for fun, because um I was going to talk about Kappa, Kappas, but apparently they're really fucked up and I'm going to need to do a whole series on them. But like, this is someone farting um onto a Kappa's face so it doesn't eat them.
00:18:41
Speaker
It looks like it's rejectile shooting diarrhea. Yeah, I was trying to be kind. Oh, sorry about that.
00:18:52
Speaker
so A lot of the art's like that, and I'm like, oh, this is quite interesting. I actually love that. That was, I mean, fucked up and everything, but that was a lot of fun. Gotta love my toilet humor, right?
Elmer McCurdy: A Strange Legacy
00:19:12
Speaker
So I also have a little napmare for you. Are you familiar with Elmer McCurdy? No. How do you know with these people?
00:19:23
Speaker
um i'm old and i know everything oh i wish i wish i knew everything you are ancient listen you're 115 years old i don't have a clever response bitch okay so we're gonna start in long beach california 1976 long beach i love long beach and not in 1976 i wasn't around for that no i actually was not either okay uh so the filming crew for the show the six million dollar man were clearing out the unused fun house of horrors called laugh in the dark at the new pike amusement park to film the carnival of spies episode this is this is that place
00:20:09
Speaker
That looks cool. ah crew member noticed a mannequin hanging from a noose that needed to be moved. He noticed some strange stitching on the front and the realistic human features.
00:20:20
Speaker
Hold on Is this real? This is real. This is real. He pointed it out to some of the members of the crew while moving it to get a better look. The arm broke off. Oh my God.
00:20:30
Speaker
The man was shocked to see bone protruding from the break. Oh my gosh. This is that. Oh my God. That's it Yeah. Yeah. Oh my God. That is crazy. So how did a human corpse end up in an abandoned fun house, you might ask? Yes.
00:20:49
Speaker
Let's take a trip back to the city of Washington, Maine in 1880. Sadie McCurdy was 17 years old, unmarried and pregnant. Her brother and his wife agreed to adopt the baby Elmer so Sadie wouldn't be deemed a pariah and so Elmer wouldn't face the ridicule for being illegitimate.
00:21:07
Speaker
So when her brother passed away, she moved with the now 10-year-old Elmer and her sister-in-law to Bangor, Maine. At this time, they told Elmer the truth about his parents, but he didn't take it well.
00:21:19
Speaker
He became rather rebellious, and by his teens, he was already the town drunk. Sadie moved Elmer to live with his grandfather for a while, which helped. Elmer learned plumbing from his grandfather, and that was productive for him, and he got some steady work.
00:21:33
Speaker
Unfortunately, 1898, Sadie and his grandfather Oh, good.
00:21:43
Speaker
interesting so he generally fell off at this point he couldn't keep work because of his excessive drinking combined with his inability to handle a shit he made his way out to kansas losing jobs and boozing along the way oh good He joined the army for a while where he was trained a bit on how to use nitroglycerin for explosives.
00:22:02
Speaker
Oh, this inspired him to possible practical applications of this skill when he got back to his regular life. But Elmer was a fuck up. We will now get into Elmer's outlaw era.
00:22:14
Speaker
Oh my gosh. After he was honorably discharged from the military, he meets up with one of his army buddies. I couldn't find details of exactly what they were planning to do here, but they were arrested for having tools used for break-ins.
00:22:27
Speaker
Chisels, saws, and like materials to make explosives and stuff. Did they say why he was released from the military? It just said honorably discharged. Oh, honorably? Yeah. Oh, okay. So, yeah. Not sure. I did not find that. That probably just means his time ran out.
00:22:41
Speaker
Or injury. But anyways. But yeah, so they they got arrested for having tools for break-ins. They somehow managed to talk their way out of a conviction in court. What? Right. So now I don't know about you.
00:22:53
Speaker
But at this point, I would realize that a life of crime isn't for me. Yeah. I would think I was lucky to have skated past this one. no i'd swear to be an upstanding member of the community. And I would like I'd mind my shit.
00:23:03
Speaker
Yeah. You know, I get you hit you hit the wall. Let's not right through it next time. Yes. I attempted this whole crime thing. Not for me. Moving on. Did Elmer do that? No. No, no, he didn't. No, it stuck to his gun. So he tries his hand at train robbery next. Oh, I was right.
00:23:22
Speaker
He gathered a crew when he learned that the Iron Mountain, Missouri Pacific train number 104 had a safe with $4,000 in silver. What? They boarded the train and everything was going as planned.
00:23:34
Speaker
Except, as I mentioned, Elmer is a fuck up. He knew the basics of using nitroglycerin as a cutting explosive, but he didn't know the intricacies. He used too much and the safe exploded.
00:23:46
Speaker
Most of the money was burnt up and most of the silver had melted infused to the safe. Oh my gosh. His crew got out with about $500 worth of silver coins, which would be worth about 17,000 today.
00:23:58
Speaker
So that's not what they were going after That is not what they were going after, but they do. I mean, they got something, but yes, they fucked up. So life of crime, right? Going to keep it going? No.
00:24:09
Speaker
Yes. Yes. And that's a choice. A few months later, Elmer and a couple of other buddies tried to rob the Citizens Bank in Chautauqua, Kansas. Who are these friends that are trusting him? Man, he's, I feel like, just based on what I read, it felt like he was, like, he liked a party, he liked to to drink and and have a good old time with his buddies, and so his buddies would, you know...
00:24:32
Speaker
They'd rally. youre like Yeah, exactly. They would rally and be like, yeah, let's go do this thing, bitch. and I don't know. Oh my gosh. At this bank robbery, they wailed on the vault doors for hours. What year was this? hammers. um It would be in the early 1900s, like 1904. This was after its military, so like 1907-ish. The hammers wouldn't get through the vault door, so Elmer went to blew it up.
00:24:55
Speaker
The vault door blasts through the building, but the safe was untouched. Oh my gosh. They snagged whatever coins they could and they split. i More crime though. Yeah.
00:25:07
Speaker
No. Are you kidding me? Maybe. How is he still alive? I feel like if I was in his party, I would have murdered him. Well, the thing is, a say yeah it's it's always different people. Yeah. He goes, he runs with different crews wherever he happens. And we can't say it's just his fault in those cases.
00:25:23
Speaker
Well, I mean. Well, we know it is, but they don't know that. They don't know that. On October 1911, Elmer tried one more train robbery. There was a train with $400,000 in cash for royalties to the Osage Nation.
00:25:36
Speaker
He rounded up more buddies and they boarded the train. Well, they boarded train. no. They ended up on a passenger train with no real cargo. There was $46, bottle of whiskey and a few bits and bobs from the various passengers. Are you kidding me?
00:25:52
Speaker
Nope. So he went and head out with some ranch hand buddies for a few days um on the morning of October 7th. So three days later, three lawmen tracked him down with bloodhounds.
00:26:03
Speaker
He shouted that he wouldn't be taken alive. Elmer shot first. The shootout lasted for over an hour until Elmer took a bullet through his chest. The Undertaker embalmed and prepared Elmer's body for burial, but no one came to claim him.
00:26:17
Speaker
He was determined to be paid for his work, so the Undertaker propped him up, waking Bernie style, put a rifle in his hand, and hung up a sign that said, the bandit who wouldn't give up. Oh my god. Elmer attracted quite a bit of attention, and circus and carnival promoters were starting to take notice.
00:26:32
Speaker
For years, the undertaker refused to sell the body and would only part with it for family. So obviously and inevitably, a couple of guys managed to convince the undertaker that what they were his brothers when of course they were not.
00:26:43
Speaker
One of these guys was James Patterson who owned the great Patterson carnival shows, which was a popular traveling carnival at the time. Oh So Elmer would be displayed in this carnival until 1922 when the carnival was sold off to Louis Sonny.
00:26:57
Speaker
Sonny displayed Elmer in his traveling museum of crime. He had wax figures of other outlaws as well, but those were just plain wax with no human bones. so Starting in the late twenty s Elmer was passed around quite a bit.
00:27:10
Speaker
He was used in sideshows, movie promotions, and many other things. When Sonny passed away in the late 40s, Elmer ended up in storage for several years. Eventually, he was loaned out to be used in a movie and then sold to the owner of a wax museum for display at Mount Rushmore.
00:27:26
Speaker
I wonder if at that point they knew that it was still a real person or if they thought it was one of the wax. I feel like based on everything I read that at this point, it just seemed like it was another wax figure. Yeah.
00:27:37
Speaker
Like with the bundle. Exactly. Yes. So yeah. So he did the Mount Rushmore thing during his stay at Mount Rushmore. He got pretty badly damaged and was then sold to one of the owners of the Pike amusement park and put into the fun house.
00:27:51
Speaker
Though the body was petrified and coated in so much wax that they had to use a saw to get through it, they were able to use forensics to identify the body as that of Elmer McCurdy. Eventually, it was cleared for him to be put into his final resting place at the Summit View Cemetery in Guthrie, Oklahoma, 66 years after his death.
00:28:10
Speaker
To remove anyone's temptation to keep his travels going, they sealed his casket in two feet of cement. My gosh. May you rest in peace, Elmer McCurdy. That's crazy. then if you'd like to just scroll so through these. I love that story. But oh my gosh, like he was really unlucky.
00:28:29
Speaker
was bad at life and death, it seemed. It actually seemed like he was pretty good at death. He made quite a bit of money. he that I saw different numbers, but various resources say that he'd been seen by millions of people at that point. But, you know, after his death.
00:28:44
Speaker
But he looks so mummified. Yes. Like they had to have i mean done more than embalm. He was embalmed with arsenic, which is the way of the time. And then they would, the wax coatings and paint over the years stacked up.
00:28:57
Speaker
Gosh, that's insanity. Sorry. i am really looking at this.
00:29:07
Speaker
That's so crazy. ah
00:29:12
Speaker
thanks for that story. That was a good one. yeah i'm glad you enjoyed it. Yeah.
Gary Hilton Case Analysis
00:29:19
Speaker
So now I think it's time for us to hear you and Ace discuss the very troubling confession of Gary Hilton.
00:29:29
Speaker
Throughout this update, because I can't help myself, I'll be chiming in with updates, corrections, and opinions. When you hear the chime, prepare for Nim. Well, welcome to the overnight edition of The Nightmare Cottage.
00:29:45
Speaker
This is Nyleen. This is Ace. Surprise, surprise. So i'm not Nim. I mean, Nim, your voice has gotten so, gruff, so deep.
00:30:01
Speaker
don't know if anyone's ever described my voice as gruff and or deep. I mean, compared to Nim, yes. So just to give you a little update about what's happening right now, this is not everyday life, unfortunately for us.
00:30:14
Speaker
Well, unfortunately for you, because your face looks sad about that. yeah I like being with Nim, but I enjoy the attention. Yes. A bit of an attention person. Super um enjoys attention. So what had happened was we put the baby to bed and are getting to this recording.
00:30:32
Speaker
We are having Ace help me out with this today. For those of you that don't remember, Ace is my husband. Longtime friend of Nim and yeah, Nailene's infinitely worse half.
00:30:44
Speaker
yeah Yeah. Probably known Nim a lot longer than I have, but anyways. When this Gary Hilton case was happening, when we were writing it and we were releasing it, we were having ace really listen to the final version just to make sure there wasn't anything we missed.
00:31:01
Speaker
And while he was doing that, he actually was the one that found out that there was an update to the case. Lucky me. Yeah. ah How did you find the update again? No, literally I was. i could So, okay. So I was listening to the episode and you, I think you described what do he looked like. And I was like, what, what does this fucking jabroni look like? Like, what what does this guy look like? And so I Googled him and literally. He's so creepy looking.
00:31:30
Speaker
no he no he you know what i i disagree he's not creepy looking the only thing that's creepy looking about him is he's got that like the the whole the jaws thing like black like a doll's eyes like he's got like he's got the soulless eyes thing but aside from that he just looks like he just looks like your everyday shitty old fucking man like he just he looks like don't know dude i don't think you've been around enough creepers know like especially being a girl and having just the creepiest old men just around sometimes it's not even men sometimes it's women fair i don't i don't get it don't get the same kind of attention from men as you do unfortunately So anyways, I didn't finish explaining what happened. So he actually was one that found the update, but we were like literally releasing the episode the next day.
00:32:22
Speaker
And the update wasn't going to happen until the day we released the episode. So I'm going to real with y'all. I tried to watch it and it's like a thing on like you YouTube. i I think I was watching it on YouTube TV, but it's like a crime.
00:32:35
Speaker
What is it called? Court TV interview with a killer season two, episode one. So I try to watch it. I got like maybe 10, 15 minutes in and I, I could not. So I know that this is the nightmare cottage, but we all have those nightmares that we just can't get past.
00:32:55
Speaker
um I think I brought up in previous episodes that like, I really struggle with things like home invasion. um That's like a really severe horror thing for me. Like that is, that is real horror.
00:33:06
Speaker
And so to me, this is like sexual assault, anything to do with kids. i can't do anything to do with, um you know, just, I don't know. Murder to me is different than this, like this and the way that he was just so smug, which Ace will get into it. It was too much for me. So my lovely husband, Ace, actually watched the whole thing, got a pretty good scoop up for us um update, not to sensationalize it or anything, but I'm hoping that he did.
00:33:35
Speaker
A better job than I would have because I think I think i literally just got on the page. He looks so smug. I hate his face. like I couldn't deal with it so yeah you know i will say when I ask you to watch things for me, it's usually like an anime. like I want to watch this really girl. out Okay, it but you can't say. Anime has so much like, oh yeah, his entire family was murdered by a village of hyenas.
00:34:05
Speaker
I don't know. And and then they just like bypass that whole thing, but he became a superhero. And it's like, okay. Okay. No, you're right you're like right. Most anime has ah some kind of children being murdered or their entire family is being slaughtered they're either orphans or the family has gotten their killed their family their children killed yeah okay i don't really have a room i was like no no you're right you're actually like 100 right like yes and now have it on recording that i'm 100 No, like first thing that came to mind and I was like, no, we watched Demon Slayer. and No, literally the first episode is like fucking kids entire family killing.
00:34:44
Speaker
Oops, my bad. So like you mentioned, it was like the day after the episode aired or the day. Yeah, no, it was the day after the episode aired for every everyone's listening pleasure.
00:34:57
Speaker
The new interview with Gary Hilton, the National Forest Killer was aired for everyone's distinct listening viewing. displeasure let's just Let's just get right off the cuff.
00:35:10
Speaker
Not a super comfy watch. No, it was horrible. This is not your Stardew Valley time. Listen, I don't feel like anything that we review is like Stardew Valley time, but like i mean we we scroll through some pretty severe things. Yes. No. and you And you guys have covered some stuff that's dark. You guys have covered some pretty heavy stuff.
00:35:31
Speaker
I would say that this interview specifically, there's something about listening to these guys talk and watching them talk that it's very icky. Like it kind of, it kind of, it leaves like a film on your skin. Stop. Don't say that. Oh, I hate that. A film.
00:35:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's just a film on her skin. Like a moist film. Stop. It just sounds horrible, especially in relation to this guy. He's just disgusting. It's gross. Okay. But yeah, no, let me lean let me just to preface.
00:36:00
Speaker
Not a super comfy watch. That's the source for this update. Season two, episode one of the Court TV interview with a killer series. It is available to be watched for free on YouTube. You can just look season two, episode one, interview with a killer.
00:36:16
Speaker
It's tubed. it's It's hard to. Hey guys, it's been tubed. I'm just going to let you know right now. This shit's fucking tubed. I'm sure that somebody unnamed and underappreciated will probably add it to the show notes. Maybe. i don't know, but who fucking knows? Yeah. Not a super chill watch though. So discretion advised.
00:36:38
Speaker
So are you ready for the update? Nice. Miss Nylene? Okay. To summarize, Gary Hilton, more commonly known as the National Forest Serial Killer, common remains one of the foulest pieces of shit in the Grand Septic Tank of Humanity. This is your update? Yeah, no, he's bad. He's a piece of shit. In case anyone was curious. The end. Actually, that's pretty much it. He just fucking sucks. In case anyone wasn't.
00:37:04
Speaker
For sure. The end. ah So yeah, not surprising. He's not a cool guy. ah But what actually was kind of surprising about this new interview is the fact that he actually confessed to the murder of Sunday school teacher and nurse Cheryl Dunlap. ah ah You might recall from your episode on the topic, up until now, the geriatric fuck has denied that that was his that that that was his kill. He's basically said, she wasn't one of mine.
00:37:33
Speaker
Yeah, like even though all the evidence pointed to it being one of his, but it was the it was that was the weird because he was that was the only one he wouldn't admit to. Like he even admitted to other ones that they didn't find.
00:37:44
Speaker
And I have a thought about that. But get there put it put it put that in your pocket. I don't want to but it. is It does kind of feel like putting so like wet spaghetti in your pocket. Just like, this for later. Yeah, it's not good.
00:38:00
Speaker
So anyways, the interviewer, David Scott, journalist, very good, very professional. He, in this interview, in the interview with journalist David Scott, Hilton recounts in Super troubling detail how he murdered Cheryl.
00:38:15
Speaker
On December 1st, 2007, Gary targeted Cheryl in the Apalachicola National Forest located in Sopchoppy, Florida.
00:38:28
Speaker
Here I jump in to apologize for Ace being a dick about names and also to provide some fun facts. Appalachia Kola is a Hachiti word that basically means people on the other side of the river.
00:38:39
Speaker
And Sopchopi was originally Lokchopi from the Muskogee language, which means acorn stem and was the name of a nearby river. And that was the worst part is because it was Florida.
00:38:50
Speaker
They had the death penalty and he didn't want the death I think the worst part is... being located in a place called Sopchoppy or Apalachicola. Why? I think that sounds awesome. those are Hey, we don't make fun of places where people like our listeners may live.
00:39:07
Speaker
If you live in Sopchoppy, Apalachicola, I'm sure it's a lovely place.
00:39:14
Speaker
Gary spotted her walking the trail in the Leon s sinks recreation area of Apalachicola national forest, which if you remember from when I said the story, that's where that couple last saw her sitting, reading her book.
00:39:29
Speaker
Yes, exactly. So she was in the area. A couple saw her reading her book and Gary was actually camped off the path in a mosquito net scoping the scoping the path out with binoculars oh my god um in the interview he basically says that he he needed to take someone else because he was down to like he only had one riddle a little bit of peanut butter and i think some snickers or something he was he was just i'm not laughing because it's like haha funny it's the ridiculousness of it he was basically surviving off peanut butter and
00:40:10
Speaker
adderall and him and his dog yeah hidden peanut butter honestly it's my diet i'm not gonna say that but that's okay it's unfortunately yes that is that that is my let's not let's let's not uh yeah but if anything happens to me twinsies who except you know he's gross and i rock He scoped her out while she's on the path and he's off the path. Okay. He does not go into detail about how he takes her, but he says he kidnapped her. And as he did with his other victims, he kept her for days bound by chains to trees or bound in the van that he was living out of in the national forest.
00:40:53
Speaker
Yeah, very not, not cool. Not be a good time. ah Was he like saying, because I remember, I'm sorry, keep interrupting you. That's what I do to and Nim all the time. She hates it.
00:41:07
Speaker
I don't hate it. That's the podcast. But anyways, so was he saying anything about like, because I when I was watching it, I think I had to finally turn it off because he was like, oh, they they liked it. They were they were into it. Like they they weren't they weren't even chained up half the time.
00:41:24
Speaker
He was talking about her, but he was mostly in that part talking about the victim who came after which unfortunately i i did not write her name down. I'm terrible with names, but he was talking primarily about her.
00:41:40
Speaker
and i think he might've been talking about kind of all his victims in general, but that was, that was part of his whole shtick was he, He implied that he was such a cool guy and that they liked him so much that after a certain amount of time, they enjoyed his company um and all that entailed. Yeah. Meredith was the one that he was never the last one. Yes. Which by the way, i think she's one of the baddest bitches ever. Oh yeah. Like the way that she fought.
00:42:11
Speaker
She fought like hell. And the the ATM thing where she gave him the wrong passwords to try and flag the ATMs, that is genius shit. Yeah. The fact that the bank dropped the ball don't how they didn't get sued, honestly.
00:42:26
Speaker
They should have. Honestly. Okay, well, let's not. Hold on. Hey, you've touched my special interest. So actually, they might have gotten sued. That might have been what's called the general liability claim. And that might have been a closed door general liability claim. Basically, they opened suit against the bank.
00:42:41
Speaker
The bank settles on the side. Nobody talks about it. Bing, bang, boom. So that is a possibility. Okay. Well, I don't want a cease and desist. So moving back to Cheryl. My bad for the phrasing here. But once Hilton was done with Cheryl, like once he decided that he was finished with what he wanted.
00:42:59
Speaker
Gary promised Cheryl that he was going to let her go. ah He told her that he was just, he just needed to run down to town and run her credit card. And as long as her credit card ran, she'd be free to go.
00:43:12
Speaker
Shocking. He was fucking lying because he's piece shit. He tells her he's going to chain her to a tree while he checks a card and states that Cheryl was quote, used to the drill by that point.
00:43:23
Speaker
And so she took the initiative to chain herself to the tree. Oh Right. And again, you're listening to the words of a serial killer. He's might be just saying stuff to say stuff, but it is entirely possible that it's one of those things where they, in this situation, they are forced to chain themselves. So he says, chain yourself to the tree.
00:43:45
Speaker
where he says let's get you chained to the tree and then i'll go maybe she's so excited she chained herself to the tree hoping that this is the end whatever it is it's it's terrible it's awful he tries to explain his next actions by saying he had a feeling that she was gonna try and try and escape basically he was saying i had a had a feeling that she wasn't gonna fully click that lock shut like just pretend she was chained until he was gone and then she would run like as if that's the worst thing world i was about to say yeah like how how unkind of her yeah so he said he had a feeling that that's what was going to happen so rather than just oh i don't know go over there and click the lock himself uh gary waits until she's knelt down where their back turned too fast in the chain and he pulls a 22 out of his fanny pack and shoots her in the back of the head oh my god
00:44:37
Speaker
wait was that the same gun that must have been the same gun that he used on Meredith that was it was the same 22 yeah that's so sad um so yeah uh it's and it probably got inspiration from that kill too because that was kind of what he did to Meredith he was um having her chain herself to the tree and stuff like that he but he beat her with a tire iron I think he he he admits at some point where he he was kind of like man yeah it's a little game like I I I went once I'm ready to kill.
00:45:08
Speaker
Then I say, I'll let you go. And that i think that part's funny. Like he's so sad. It's no, it's gross. It's what it is. The fact that no I hate it. After murdering her in cold blood, Gary completes the desecration by decapitating her, removing her hands, and then burning her body.
00:45:26
Speaker
Which, as you recall, that's how she was found. Yeah. She was all religion, he recounts with a chuckle. And it gave me a kind of perverse amusement to think that I just terrorized an entire church, okay?
00:45:37
Speaker
I just have affected their life for the rest of their life. They'll never forget it. And all those little kids that she taught Sunday school to, to find out she was killed and her head was cut off, her hands were cut off.
00:45:48
Speaker
It could haunt them, he says. And the entire time he's saying that, He's got this like gross, like he's got a twinkle in his eye. I couldn't do it. I couldn't deal with his face. His stupid fucking face. Sorry. It'll scar them for the rest of their lives.
00:46:03
Speaker
You enjoy that? Amuse yourself? David asked calmly. That's the journalist who's interviewing him. Well, I have to admit, also admirably not jumping across the table to stomp this shitty old man to death. Yeah. Because.
00:46:15
Speaker
i mean, that's this is his job. Self-control is incredible. Anyways, Gary responds with. ah no No, no, it's just, i have to admit, yeah, kind of like, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:46:27
Speaker
That is an exact quote. Jeez. And that's almost his exact delivery. He goes, ha, ha, ha, ha. Which has to be probably the absolute worst backpedal of all time. Like he's trying to be like, you know, no, I didn't think it was funny, but you know, kind of like, ha, ha, funny. Yeah. like Now something mildly interesting.
00:46:45
Speaker
mean, it's still kind of in an, I wish I didn't know about it sort of interesting, but Gary claims that Cheryl said something that really rattled him. It was her last words to him. She said to him, or he reports that she said to him, before you die, ask Jesus to forgive you for what you've done.
00:47:02
Speaker
Now, you're aware of this. Religion, Christianity, not usually my scene, but I think that's actually very, very powerful. Like the fact that she's...
00:47:14
Speaker
Oh, yeah, no, I mean, it was ah it was basically her final like, I hate that this word has become that her trump card. What's what's a better word? So we don't have to use that fucking word.
00:47:26
Speaker
Ace in the hole would work nicely here. What I think it was, was I think it was grace. I believe that she had a lot of faith in the things you were saying. And I think that. Yeah, that's fair. like She was actually a believer who was trying to like.
00:47:37
Speaker
She was trying to save his soul at the end. At the final moment. You know, I think that she was scared, but I think at the end of the day, she, she was trying to save his soul. What I don't necessarily agree with is they do interview two of her friends and they. Oh my God.
00:47:51
Speaker
in In the interview, they show two of her friends part of the part where he's admitting to how he killed Cheryl. Oh my God. I know. I've like some of those, these shows that I watch, they're like, Hey, a spouse who says you love them more than anything. And you feel like you're going to die now that they're, they're not your life anymore.
00:48:11
Speaker
Watch this killer laugh about how they brutally murdered your loved one. how do you feel about that? i know. And it's just like, like watching them. I think there was one where they had like headphones on and they're like listening to it and you can see their face. And then they take the headphones on. They're like, what a piece of shit.
00:48:27
Speaker
Like that's all I have to say because like, what are you going to, what do you say that? Yeah. And, and I like, I'm not trying to reach right out. There's a, a podcast I listened to recently where he was talking about the same thing where they're like, if you could go back and do it all differently, would you? And they're like, you know, if like kids are involved, they're obligated be like,
00:48:45
Speaker
No, I think I have little Martha. They're my little angel, so I wouldn't do it any differently. But at some point, it's like, well, this ruined my whole fucking life. So yes, I would do it differently.
00:48:57
Speaker
yeah I would maybe change a little thing here or there. and So it's terrible. And her friends, say they have the same thought where they're like, I think that there was that she showed a lot of grace and power by saying this to Gary Hilton. And I think that he is a shark in people's skin. And you're like, yeah, good assessments all around.
00:49:15
Speaker
That basically wraps up the updates. Shortly after Cheryl's disappearance, Gary is seen on tape, covered in tape, using Cheryl's card at an ATM in Tallahassee, Florida, attempting to make a withdrawal.
00:49:27
Speaker
Two weeks after that, her body was discovered by a hunter. ah That would be her and body, not her hands and her head. Did he say why he chose that place to dump her? Because I know like with the other people, like there was specific reasons why he chose the places he chose.
00:49:42
Speaker
No. Okay. No, he, at least he didn't say it. ah He didn't say it outright, or at least they they didn't have an interview, but it it was just one of those things where he had a spot and he went for that spot.
00:49:55
Speaker
Like you said in your episode up until the next murder where they actually had Gary and were able to go through his stuff. There wasn't much evidence that they could look around for. And Cheryl's murdered to find a suspect. Yeah.
00:50:07
Speaker
If he hadn't gone on to murder Meredith, ah there wasn't much in Cheryl's actual murder that could tie him to the crime. yeah They didn't really have any suspects. If he hadn't gone on murder Meredith, he probably wouldn't have been caught. yeah and This would have been an unsolved murder.
00:50:22
Speaker
And because he never had really admitted to it for a long time, it technically was. He's currently in appeals for it. And that's actually one of the reasons that I think is very interesting.
00:50:33
Speaker
That he has this appealed? Yes. And he's telling the everyone that he did it. Exactly. He makes this- He's on his final appeal, though. Yes. He makes this recorded and highly public confession while he's still actively in appeals for Cheryl's murder.
00:50:48
Speaker
ah But then again, 79 years old, and by his own admission, not in the best health. Mm-hmm. Just off the cuff, if you had to take a guess, why do you think that he's coming out and doing this shit now?
00:51:04
Speaker
I think it's just so that he has like his last five minutes of fame. Like he just wants that lasting notoriety. Like Manson, like almost said Gary Busey. Good fucking God. Oh, yes.
00:51:18
Speaker
Gary, what was his name? but but yeah carhold or horse um it's ah You're talking about like Gary Ridgeway? No, I was talking about the guy that used to dress up as a clown. What was his name?
00:51:31
Speaker
um just gonna like
00:51:34
Speaker
ah ku the clown you know I hate you so much. Answer my question. What's the clown one? I've joked about it too much. I actually just. Oh, God. Oh.
00:51:49
Speaker
oh All right. This is the moment where Nim comes in um and editing and says this, this person, she's talking about this fucking person. Do you watch the show? Tamar John Wayne Gacy. My loves.
00:52:02
Speaker
We talked about this. Just so you know. This is your choice. i can say everything about him except his name and his clown name right now. Because I also just forgot his clown name. We're to call him <unk> The Democrat with the House and all the boys buried him. Okay, stop it. Can move Okay.
00:52:24
Speaker
So I think I agree with your assessment for the reason why. ah In fact, if I had to take a swing at why he's coming out with this now, I'd say that this is just the pathetic final attempt by the man who is disgustingly proud of being labeled as America's oldest serial killer, which he makes sure to mention...
00:52:42
Speaker
in the interview look at he needs a brand he exactly he's working on branding right now this is his uh this is his uh second this is his hbo max harry potter movies stop it he's branding He's basically trying to make headlines one last time before he bites it because he's super old, not in good health.
00:53:02
Speaker
um You can tell that he enjoys the relatively small notoriety he has. And while he dances around or tries to downplay how monstrous he truly is, it doesn't stop the twinkle in his eye or that satisfied little smile on his face when discussing the things he's done.
00:53:15
Speaker
It's almost so awful as to be comical, but I think he's disappointed that he was never a headliner like Dahmer or Bundy, relatively speaking, of course, and has instead been relegated to the American grab bag of lesser known serial killers.
00:53:27
Speaker
He wants to be remembered to be talked about long after his death and to leave his mark on our society. He even says that that whole fucking shtick he has where he's talking about how super excited he was to think about kids and mourning their teacher.
00:53:43
Speaker
Like he's happy about it. And that's what he wanted. He wanted to be remembered. Anyways, he's hoping for immortality, but judging by how bad he looks in the interview, which he does look bad, he looks he looks like he's going to keel over in a sizzler any day now, except in jail.
00:53:58
Speaker
yeah I think he's going to be disappointed sooner rather than later about living forever. that now And that's it. That's the entire update. oh that's horrible yeah like it's not a lot but it is a lot because like i think that was the biggest part is like knowing that he did it it's like not to get into it and i don't want to get into it this is me telling you that but like that's my big thing about like some of these like death penalty cases is like when they won't admit to it it's almost like
00:54:31
Speaker
But did they do it? and this is one of those cases where you're like no, he 100, 1000% did it But like him admitting to it was just the final, like, fucking thank God, you know? Yeah, no, I admittedly, you know, the death penalty has a lot of has a lot of problems with it. But this is this is a compelling argument to bring back the pair of anguish as a viable form of punishment.
00:54:53
Speaker
so um I don't think that's necessary. i am? Well, i just I just think once you like open that can of worms, I'm sorry, that pair, to start using it on certain people. That pair of worms. if They've somehow made the pair of anguish worse. They've filled it with worms. Oh my gosh.
00:55:11
Speaker
That's, oh God.
Hypothetical Debates and Gaming Worlds
00:55:13
Speaker
i like we do in every episode, I want to end this episode with a question for you.
00:55:22
Speaker
For me? Yeah. Okay. So my question is, if you're a time traveler, right? and Go fuck yourself. Let's say that you are just sitting there minding your business, right?
00:55:39
Speaker
You're Bill and Ted and you're having an awesome adventure and you fall into a phone booth and you appear in a different time. Would that make you a time traveler? but So this is a years long argument for us. Nyleen and Ace have this tendency to call me to settle their arguments.
00:55:58
Speaker
No one ever calls me. But every few months, this shit rings and they're asking me to solve something fun and ridiculous. The way I always end this one, and this is one that has come up multiple times, is by saying if you only murder one person, you're still a murderer.
00:56:13
Speaker
I don't want to engage with you. don't want to. There's a microphone in front of you for once. i know. I need you to engage because you know what? i want everyone to hear how ridiculous your response is.
00:56:25
Speaker
Okay, no, you know what? Fuck you. You're wrong. You are wrong. You and everybody, you and Monkey, you and Nim, you're all wrong about this. If you accidentally time travel because you fell into the one port-a-potty that's linked to the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, you are not a time traveler. You are someone who has time traveled.
00:56:48
Speaker
You're a victim of time travel. You are a victim of time travel. Time traveler is someone who does it. that That's a title. That is there's prestige there. That's someone who chooses to time travel.
00:56:59
Speaker
A time traveler is someone who regularly or willingly time travels. That's a time traveler. All of the stories of like people who become vampires because like someone bit them.
00:57:12
Speaker
So they're not vampires like because it was an accident that it happened. Like they didn't choose it.
00:57:20
Speaker
There's someone... Okay, no. I just like your face. That's actually a very good... That is someone who's afflicted with vampirism. Now, they have a choice. Do they stay out for the very first sunrise and choose not to become a vampire? Choose not to start sucking the blood of the innocent?
00:57:38
Speaker
Or do they go... oh, I'm a vampire. I guess I have to drink blood now. And they start drinking blood and they become a vampire because they're regularly drinking blood by choice. So they become a vampire when they choose when they choose to accept it? Is that what you're saying?
00:57:55
Speaker
Basically, I would say that, like, let's say, okay, All right. hyper No, no, wait. No. You open this can. You open this pair of anguish. You devour the worms.
00:58:09
Speaker
I just want you to hear how crazy you sound when- You're crazy. I'm not crazy. You're the crazy one. No. Okay. So hypothetically speaking, you're bit by you are bit by a vampire.
00:58:19
Speaker
And let's say you're not you who would just be totally stoked to be a vampire. Mm-hmm. So you realize that your life now involves murder, essentially. Like you have to kill to survive.
00:58:32
Speaker
You have a moral choice. Do you survive by taking the life of other people? And we're not doing, this is no true blood rules. You have to kill someone. True blood, body bags, whatever. None of that shit works. You have to kill someone to drink blood.
00:58:47
Speaker
Okay. You have a moral choice. Okay. Okay. If you, as a person, make the decision like, I do not want to be a killer. I do not want to die a murderer.
00:58:57
Speaker
So you stake yourself. You go out in the sun. Whatever. Do you think everyone is going to be like, ah fucking good riddance to that horrible monster? No, but was still a vampire. that doesn't change the fact that he was vampire. You're just putting judgment on the situation around him being a vampire, but it still makes him a vampire.
00:59:16
Speaker
He's someone afflicted with vampirism. Which who chose the cure. Okay. So how about this? All right. So I'm sitting here minding my own business, right? And you have a cold and I catch a cold from you.
00:59:30
Speaker
I didn't catch a cold on purpose. I didn't know you had a cold. Does that mean I'm not sick? but No, but I'm not accepting that I'm sick. Therefore I'm not sick, right? This isn't an accurate argument. because you're knowt I didn't purposefully get sick.
00:59:45
Speaker
What's a professional sick person called? What's a professional vampire called? You're right. It doesn't exist because it happens to you. So you're saying it has to be a profession, not a profession, but it has to be something that happened. Like it has to be something that like happens regularly or you have to do it willing. Like you have to do it a lot. Like you it willingly. Not, not always, not even always willingly, but like a time traveler is someone who's like traveling multiple times.
01:00:15
Speaker
Once again, one murder makes you a murderer. If you, like I said. What if they travel on purpose one time? Then you've traveled in time, but you're not a time traveler if you can't fucking go back.
01:00:27
Speaker
Why? You still traveled through time. No, you're a crazy person at the 7-Eleven saying, I'm from 2077. Well, i mean, not if you knew that you actually were from 2077 can like You're not a time. You can call yourself a time travel as much as you want. So now I need papers to be a time traveler. Not only do i have to have done it multiple times. No. I have to have proof.
01:00:49
Speaker
That's no, that's not what I'm saying. I'm saying like, if you have time travel, what, like you go back in time one time and you were stuck there or you didn't do it on purpose. Mm hmm.
01:01:01
Speaker
And you start calling yourself a time traveler. That is so fucking douchey. Like that is like the douchiest guy at party. He's like, yeah, I'm a bit of a, I'm a bit of a poet myself. Like you, you wrote one poem in high school.
01:01:13
Speaker
You're I'm a poet.
01:01:16
Speaker
So now you're going to call the guy who just got locked out of his own timeline, a douche. Okay. So, Hey, I did write a poem in high school and I am totally a poet. I was published in everything. I've seen you write more than one poem.
01:01:29
Speaker
You are a poet. And I didn't even know it. And you didn't and you know what you did? You did it on purpose. You made the choice to do poetry. I actually didn't. didn't. I just. You accidentally wrote? did. i wasn't trying to like i i make a rhythm of it. Again, I was just real sad. I'm not going to entertain this madness. You absolutely have wrote a poem. I have one more question for you.
01:01:52
Speaker
Okay. If you ask the other question. If I got up right now, we both got up and I fell into you and you busted your head open and you died.
01:02:06
Speaker
I killed you. Am I a killer? No. No, I'm not a killer. Under the law, you are someone who's done manslaughter, but you are not a killer.
01:02:17
Speaker
A killer is a murderer. What the definition a killer? Yeah. I want you to look up. And first of all, you chose the word killer because it's the one that doesn't apply, but there are legal definitions between manslaughter and murder. Okay.
01:02:32
Speaker
So if someone who has time traveled once is not a time traveler, since we're using different terms, what are they? but Besides a victim of their circumstances. Someone ah victim of their circumstances is actually good. So you just chose the best one.
01:02:48
Speaker
Sushi stop. Sushi stop. She didn't like that. She didn't like what you said to her. Oh my God. Okay.
01:02:57
Speaker
Someone who has time traveled once on accident is a victim of time travel or they're someone who has traveled in time. They are not a time traveler.
01:03:09
Speaker
False. Doctor who is a time traveler. Just because he does it on purpose. Because he does it on purpose a fucking lot. And I'm all i'm guesstimating. does Is that his thing? I've never watched Doctor Who.
01:03:22
Speaker
Is he a time traveler? I honestly don't know. And Nim is going to kill me for that. But I don't know either. Yes, Doctor Who is a time traveler. No, I will not murder you for that.
01:03:33
Speaker
Because I am not a murderer. so I did look up the dictionary definition. Of what? A time traveler. is a hypothetical individual who can move between different points in time, whether the past or the future.
01:03:49
Speaker
The concept of time travel is popular a popular theme in science fiction, although feasibly it's not proven in reality. That's just talking about the the philosophy, the time the implications of time travel. The implications. The implications.
01:04:03
Speaker
They would never time travel. You know. Because of the, it does say traveling through time into the past or future. It says nothing. The action of traveling through time into the past or future. It says nothing regarding intent.
01:04:17
Speaker
Yeah. I didn't ask Webster. made my own, I made my, I made my own. Like. I actually looked at the Cambridge dictionary, which is and well known to be very, very correct.
01:04:32
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:34
Speaker
You guys have heard it here first, guys. Cambridge Dictionary, well known to be very correct. 70% of the time it's right, 100% the time. Thank All right.
01:04:47
Speaker
Well, this is the kind of nightmare I deal with on a daily basis, um having a significant other who doesn't understand how words work. I think that your problem is that I understand how words work too well, and I think that scares you.
01:05:03
Speaker
Terrified. do you have any questions for the cottage? For the cottage? Who does the shrubs outside? Those look really good. Sushi, actually.
01:05:14
Speaker
the fuck yeah The cat is mad talented. That's how she keeps her claws sharp. It's like Edward's sister hands, but like for for a cat. Sushi hands. Okay.
01:05:25
Speaker
You and Nim got into it the other day. were talking about Monster Hunter. Monster Hunter rocks. Hey, by the way, everybody, Monster Hunter rocks. You guys should go play Monster Hunter. It's been a minute, yeah. On the topic of video games, you can live in one video game world where you are more or less in a safe place. it it You're in the world, but you're in kind of what ah what one could consider like a safe part of that world.
01:05:53
Speaker
Okay. And i'm i'm I'm giving that for the benefit of things like ah like destiny right like let's say you're in destiny you're in the last city that's fine the last city is mostly safe whatever what game what game world i would be safe you would you would be safe yes honestly i would go into the fallout world fallout fallout or elder squirrels if i am safe i've got good news i think we're heading that way now oh my god but i wouldn't be safe no so i mean fallout fallout you would be
01:06:25
Speaker
Not. Yeah. It's hard to be safe in Fallout. Like in real life. But you said that I would be safe. So in the hypothetical, you're safe. So i can just run around being like absolutely Mad Max batshit crazy and no harm would come to me.
01:06:40
Speaker
Well, no, I would. No, no, no. I'm not saying that you're God modded. You literally just said I was safe. no i said that you were in a safe place like you have like a you're in like a one of the safe cities or you're in a homestead like where no one's gonna really bother you you can go to town and buy stuff like that's that's what i meant by say if not you can fucking pick up the nearest fat boy and start going to town on super mutants like i'm invincible then what's yours ah uh first choice is always pokemon because the pokemon world is honestly that sounds horrible no it's you would just have like literally animals like attacking you and buildings and everything around you all the time yeah yeah be awesome i'd be into it but like you plus they're all and like your best bros all the time that's so cool it's inhumane they keep them in little balls they like it
01:07:34
Speaker
I don't think they do. There's actually lore. They like it in the Pokeball. Yeah, of course, they had to create that because they like created a whole slave race. Because it's a fictional fucking universe. like Yeah, of course.
01:07:45
Speaker
ah they had They made this one part. They made the whole thing. Sorry. That's nitpicking and I apologize for it. ah No, if I could live in one video game world and I couldn't choose Pokemon because Pokemon is kind of like a very easy answer, I would probably say Elder Scrolls.
01:08:03
Speaker
Like I feel like, I feel like living in a Tamriel would be really cool. You'd get stuck in those caves. ah The Dwemer, Dwemer, Dwemer caves. Yeah, no same hypothetical. Like where I would be safe, where I lived is all well and good, but I would definitely they choose.
01:08:21
Speaker
I would be tempted by the lure of treasure and would be crushed to death by a Dwemer century. For me, it would definitely be like ah one of the ah dragon Lords. Oh, like a draugr. Draugr. like draugr lords.
01:08:34
Speaker
Yeah. Just because, yeah, they're so funny. I hear him talking and I'd be like, what are you saying? And he's like really saying, like, I'm going to wear you. and Learn their language. Ah, yes. a scholar of the draugr language.
01:08:50
Speaker
um right So yeah, sorry. That was that. um Yeah. And I guess the worst world to live in would probably Resident Evil or Dark Souls. Dark Souls would be bad. No, Dark Souls would be fun.
01:09:02
Speaker
No. It's just spooky. it it No. It's like spooky in like a Monty Python kind of way. No. at In fact, listeners, if you don't already, you have about 17 hours of that video, more videos to watch on why living in the dark souls world is not fun.
01:09:20
Speaker
looks So that's it. Well, for me, thanks for joining us. I really appreciate you doing this one for us um because i yeah could not, it was a little bit of struggle, but i appreciate you coming on and we'll see a Nim on the next one.
01:09:45
Speaker
So thank you for y'all doing that. That was really a lot of fun to listen to. You guys have a lot of fun just existing together and it's super obvious and fun. Yes. ah Nim is our ah tiebreaker.
01:09:57
Speaker
when as you see, Ace gets ridiculous notions in his head. and call Nim and I'm like, I need you to be judge and jury. this. and And executioner. And executioner.
01:10:09
Speaker
That was
Horror Recommendations and Conclusion
01:10:10
Speaker
ah super fun. i can see that being a thing again in the future. It was good. So thank you, Ace, for taking your time to be ridiculous. Yes, thank you. And thank you for putting up with him more than you usually have to.
01:10:23
Speaker
I do say that that counts as our palate cleanser because my palate is cleansed. But um I do, in the sake of updates here, i actually do have some nightmare fuel that falls in the realm of updates.
01:10:36
Speaker
Ooh. So first and foremost, and... I didn't think about it. So if you've been listening to this whole podcast the whole time, you know that Nyleen is terrified of clowns.
01:10:47
Speaker
ah And had just, just found out that they were doing a movie based on the clown in a cornfield book. That was my nightmare fuel.
01:10:58
Speaker
When I did the episode about clowns and Dyleen had sent me something about, hey, I think we should go see this together. And before I opened it, I was thinking, oh, she just found it too. And so i was like, oh, you mean this? But I was wrong. And I just sent her a picture of a scary clown. God, is that what that was? That's what that was. ah So I haven't seen it. But if you enjoy scary clowns, or if you read the Clown Cornfield books, there is now a movie. I again, I can't review it yet, but I was excited to see that it exists.
01:11:28
Speaker
It sounds nauseating. Sounds like I will not be going to see that with Nyleen. No. ah The other update I had, i had recommended a book called Mary by the author Nat Cassidy a while ago. And nat Cassidy just came out with another book called When the Wolf Comes Home.
01:11:49
Speaker
And... Oh, this wasn't even the one I was going to do. I'll do that one too. So anyways, that's fucking great. Super recommend it. I'm not really going to tell you anything about it, but another awesome book from Nat Cassidy called When the Wolf Comes Home. And then the Polybius episode, right? Yes.
01:12:05
Speaker
So... just a few weeks ago, a book called Polybius by Colin Armstrong came out. I haven't read it yet, but like it's in the horror genre. So people are talking about it. So that's definitely it's set. It's supposed to be about Polybius being out in an arcade and the effect it has on a town.
01:12:21
Speaker
Oh, so it's supposed to be like a real life account or is it like, okay. Yeah. I wasn't sure if it was like ah theoretically, if this were to happen. Well, I mean, yeah, it is definitely, I mean, it is very clearly fiction, but it's like, and it takes, but it takes place in the early eighties and it looks fun. It's on my to be read. So ah my updated nightmare fuels. Okay. So those are fantastic. they're Your mom's fantastic.
01:12:49
Speaker
That's true. Yeah, I said it.
01:12:53
Speaker
All right, everybody. i think that's enough nightmares for today. i think so, too. We'll see all next time. Sweet dreams. Sweet dreams.
01:13:03
Speaker
If you have topic requests, book or movie recommendations, or just want to say hi, email us at nightmarecottage at gmail.com or visit our website at nightmarecottage.com. Sweet dreams.
01:13:20
Speaker
Bye-bye.