Transcript
Michele Martin: Hello. and welcome to the authenticity revolution With truth. is the rebellion. So, it's been a while since I recorded an episode.
Michele Martin: And in some ways... It feels pretty fitting. because i've been thinking a lot about what happens when you know that something needs to change. But you haven't quite moved yet And maybe that's where you are right now.
Michele Martin: You know that you can't keep doing what you've been doing. Maybe it's your job. Maybe it's your relationship or your business. the way that you're spending your time.
Michele Martin: the way that you're just showing up in your own life. Or... Maybe you can't even name exactly. what needs to change. you just know that something just doesn't fit anymore.
Michele Martin: And here's the frustrating part. Sometimes you actually know what you want. You can see it. You can imagine it. Maybe you've even been thinking about it for years.
Michele Martin: But every time you get close to doing something about it Your brain gives you approximately 147 reasons why it's a terrible idea.
Michele Martin: and What if it doesn't work? What if I regret it? What if I can't afford it? What will people think? Am I being unrealistic?
Michele Martin: Shouldn't I just be grateful for what I have? Then there's, maybe I'm too old. Maybe I waited too long. Maybe I should just stay where I am. And before long...
Michele Martin: the thing that You knew five minutes ago? gets buried under all of the reasons why you shouldn't trust it. And I don't think that's the same thing as not knowing what you want.
Michele Martin: So, maybe you're not actually confused. I think we use words... I think we use the words, I don't know. for a lot of things And sometimes we genuinely don't know.
Michele Martin: and That's okay But sometimes... I don't know means. I know, but I don't like what knowing might require of me. or I know what I want. But I can't guarantee how it's going to turn out.
Michele Martin: Or... I know what I want but someone else might not understand. Or maybe it's... I know what I want but I don't trust myself enough to choose it.
Michele Martin: And that's different right because if the problem is that you don't have enough information then sure. Go and get more information. But if the problem is that you don't trust yourself.
Michele Martin: Another podcast, another book. Another Google search, another YouTube deep dive, another conversation with your best friend. Another expert telling you what you should do, quote unquote.
Michele Martin: That's probably not going to solve anything. And at some point... More answers from outside of you? just becomes more noise. So... You know, it's easy for you to keep on asking people what they think right What do you think about this? What do you think about that?
Michele Martin: And what kind what can happen when we do that? When we're constantly looking for feedback from other people about what's right for us is we start to be unable to even distinguish What's ours from what someone else's?
Michele Martin: Right. So... Then there's something else that I think we need to talk about. sometimes staying stuck. Serves us and I know That sounds annoying.
Michele Martin: Because as long as you're still... quote -unquote figuring it out right you don't actually have to take a risk you don't have to risk anything. You don't have to make the decision.
Michele Martin: You don't have to tell anyone. You don't have to try it and possibly fail. You don't have to find out whether the thing that you've been dreaming about actually works.
Michele Martin: You can keep researching. You can keep planning. Keep thinking. Keep waiting for clarity. and it can look like you're doing something because you're working really hard at figuring it out.
Michele Martin: But... You're still standing in the same place And I'm not saying that to judge you. I'm saying it because sometimes the most useful question isn't.
Michele Martin: Why can't I figure out what to do? It's what am I afraid will happen if I actually trust what I already know? And that's a very different question.
Michele Martin: Right? So... When you feel afraid... right that doesn't automatically mean that it's a no. um so Because I think...
Michele Martin: that we've gotten very good at making assumptions that if something feels scary to us, that maybe it's a sign that we're not supposed to do it. And sometimes it is.
Michele Martin: And sometimes something just really isn't right for you. But sometimes... The fear just means that you don't know what's going to happen. And of course you don't.
Michele Martin: You're moving towards something that you haven't lived yet There's no amount of thinking That's going to give you a guarantee of an outcome. And that's where self trust becomes so important.
Michele Martin: Because self -trust isn't I know this decision is going to work out exactly the way I want. It's closer to whatever happens, I trust myself to meet it.
Michele Martin: And that's a completely different kind of certainty. You're not certain about the outcome. you're becoming more certain about yourself. All right, so I'm not going to end this episode by giving you five steps for figuring out your life. That would be a little ironic.
Michele Martin: But I will give you something to sit with. If you've been telling yourself that you're confused, that you don't know what you want or that you need more clarity before you can move.
Michele Martin: Ask yourself. What do I already know? that I keep trying to unknow. And don't force an answer. Just notice what comes up.
Michele Martin: And then... maybe ask yourself what story do I immediately tell myself about why I can't trust that? And that's where I'd really get curious.
Michele Martin: Because the thing that's keeping you stuck may not be that you don't know what comes next. Maybe. that you've spent so long looking outside of yourself.
Michele Martin: for the right answer that you've stopped trusting the answer. when it comes from you
Michele Martin: And that's a lot of what we're going to be talking about here. that strange space between knowing something needs to change and trusting yourself enough to actually move toward what's next.
Michele Martin: The fear. the second guessing the old stories. other people's expectations, all of it. And if you're listening to this thinking, yep. That's exactly where I am. I also work privately with women who are in this place.
Michele Martin: I'm not going to tell you what to do. but I also won't help you to avoid yourself. I'll help you look at what's actually going on. Question some of the things that you've been calling true.
Michele Martin: And hear your own knowing. underneath all the noise. If that sounds like a conversation you'd like to have. There's a Let's Talk link in the show notes.
Michele Martin: and you don't have to know whether you want coaching We can just talk. and we'll see what we notice And I'll see you next time.
