Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Bigger Talks.
Speaker: I'm your host, Eric Bigger, motivator, fitness trainer, and life speaker.
Speaker: I'm here to inspire the world by having real conversations about the power of life, love, and vulnerability.
Speaker: Join me as I uplift you, challenge your thinking, and improve your understanding on living your best life.
Speaker: Let the Bigger Talks begin.
Speaker: Back again, back again, bigger talks, life topics, life talks with Amina and myself.
Speaker: What's going down?
Speaker: How you feeling?
Speaker: How's your heart?
Speaker: What are you thinking?
Speaker: We got a new episode.
Speaker: What are we talking about?
Speaker: We're talking about, hi guys, by the way, it's me.
Speaker: Yes, we're talking about the power of never giving up.
Speaker: The power of never giving up.
Speaker: Never, ever give up.
Speaker: Have you ever given up on something?
Speaker: Let's see.
Speaker: Have I?
Speaker: I don't think I've never given up on something I was passionate about.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Maybe something not working out.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like, all right, cool.
Speaker: There's no point of just trying to keep giving energy and life and light to this source of this thing because it's not worth it, you know?
Speaker: So I don't think anything I'm passionate about, no, I've never given up on.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I can't say the same.
Speaker: I've given up on something I was extremely passionate about.
Speaker: And I had a... Well, this depends on giving up and quitting.
Speaker: Is there a difference?
Speaker: I think there... Maybe quitting is not the word.
Speaker: Maybe there is a difference.
Speaker: Because I feel like giving up...
Speaker: has a connotation to it, right?
Speaker: Like what?
Speaker: Like negative, like, oh, you gave up, you quit, bro, you gave up.
Speaker: I don't really necessarily believe that.
Speaker: Like, you can give up on helping someone that you love and care about and just not helping themselves.
Speaker: I think there's a difference between giving up and letting go.
Speaker: That's what I feel like.
Speaker: If you're in a situation where you let someone go, that's different than quitting or giving up.
Speaker: I think, like you said, quitting or giving up does have a negative connotation to it, but letting go, that's different.
Speaker: Now, I'm stating that I gave up on something, like I quit.
Speaker: Okay, that's better.
Speaker: Because I was thinking about basketball.
Speaker: Basketball, I was passionate about.
Speaker: I didn't really give up on it.
Speaker: I just let it go.
Speaker: It didn't make sense in my world.
Speaker: It didn't make sense for my life.
Speaker: It was nothing giving me energy or light to say, this is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: At the moment.
Speaker: At the moment.
Speaker: Maybe if I had different support or resources around, maybe it would have worked.
Speaker: But in that moment, in that time of my life, it didn't work.
Speaker: And I don't believe in forcing things.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: You can't force something that's just not there.
Speaker: It's like, well, how do you know it's not there if you didn't give up?
Speaker: It's like, you just know.
Speaker: You feel it.
Speaker: You feel it.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: And I think I see friends and acquaintance and people in general, especially in sports, like,
Speaker: I ain't giving up, man.
Speaker: I'm going to get another shot.
Speaker: And then keep going down that path.
Speaker: It's not leading anywhere.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You just dig a deeper hole.
Speaker: Like, bro, you 32.
Speaker: You still trying to, you have hoop dreams and football dreams.
Speaker: Like, that's great.
Speaker: But when are you going to start letting go and see the reality of, okay, I have to do something different.
Speaker: I have to learn a different profession.
Speaker: I have to.
Speaker: And I get it.
Speaker: You know, the person I wasn't here that, no, man, I ain't giving up.
Speaker: You know, you can make it.
Speaker: And I'm like, yes.
Speaker: But you still have to be real with yourself.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it's hard.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But how long will you stay in that phase of I'm not giving up, I'm not giving up.
Speaker: Because then your ego is getting involved.
Speaker: Ooh.
Speaker: And you're not really checking yourself.
Speaker: Your ego is checking you, telling you you need to continue to do this journey or this process.
Speaker: You're not getting anywhere.
Speaker: There's no results.
Speaker: You just keep waiting for something to happen like, no, it's over.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And it's okay that it's over.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: People don't want to hear that though.
Speaker: You know, like, um, like you said, when your ego is involved in your life, there are a ton of things that you find yourself doing that you ain't got no business doing.
Speaker: And, um,
Speaker: you consume in it and you find yourself forcing situations that you, if it were meant for you, it wouldn't be that hard.
Speaker: And that's what I had to understand because I'm the type of person that would put my mind to something and keep going until it runs me into the ground.
Speaker: And I look back and I'm like, you know, you could have let it go when you knew you should have let it go.
Speaker: And I didn't, and I punished.
Speaker: Why didn't you think you let it go?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I would say the thing that I've let go of certain things and I've given up on certain things, as far as the business that I ran.
Speaker: I let that go because I physically had no more funds, like capitalism, or I didn't have any capital to put back in it.
Speaker: I was like, okay.
Speaker: I can't keep hooking everybody up every year.
Speaker: And then I end up on the losing end just to say, oh, I have a studio.
Speaker: But my ego was involved.
Speaker: I was like, no, everyone knows you have a studio.
Speaker: You have to run your studio.
Speaker: Where it's like when I let it go, nobody hated me, which I thought, you know, in my mind.
Speaker: Yeah, and I think there's one of two things.
Speaker: One is this.
Speaker: Really listen to this.
Speaker: It's very simple and you'll understand this.
Speaker: It's very simple.
Speaker: When you let go of something, you've been spending your life or your energy, most of your energy and time into doing or whatever.
Speaker: And you let it go, you grow.
Speaker: The universe brings you something different in you that's available and ready for you to lock into it.
Speaker: I agree.
Speaker: So number two, the reason people don't let go and people are not giving up on something they believe in cold heartily is because people are afraid to grow in a different way.
Speaker: right and learn so it's like i want to be this ball player all day all day but i don't want to learn how to write a check or run a business or be not an athlete but a human being because there is a challenge with i can't say most athletes but some athletes where their identity
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I can exist in the world.
Speaker: So I got to find ways.
Speaker: Maybe I'll go coach basketball.
Speaker: Maybe I'll go try to play overseas or try to find on a pickup team right away.
Speaker: Because I have to keep that in my aura.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because if not, I'm not who I am.
Speaker: But you were never that person in the first place.
Speaker: That was just part of something you did.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: What you do is not who you are.
Speaker: You know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Speaking.
Speaker: What you do is not who you are.
Speaker: So I met a guy a year ago and he asked me,
Speaker: He said, who are you?
Speaker: And so I gave him a lot of intangible things.
Speaker: I said, I'm independent, I'm focused, I'm driven, I'm loving, phenomenal.
Speaker: I would just name his stuff like strong, level, all these things.
Speaker: But he said, you know what's funny?
Speaker: Most, 90% of the people I ask that question to, they say, I'm a CEO of a company, I'm a father, I'm a husband.
Speaker: So then he said, oh, that's great.
Speaker: Now, what happens if all those things are taken from you?
Speaker: Now, who are you?
Speaker: So people place their identity based on their profession.
Speaker: And your profession is not who you are.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But you don't know that because you've been in it for so long.
Speaker: So, okay, yes, we're African American, we're black, but that's not who we are.
Speaker: We're human beings before we're anything.
Speaker: But it's so easy.
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: You grew up this way.
Speaker: You're this, you're that.
Speaker: I'm more than that.
Speaker: But we don't know that because we're being, you got a birth certificate.
Speaker: You were born here.
Speaker: This is your parents.
Speaker: Label.
Speaker: This is their religion.
Speaker: Label.
Speaker: So you're going to stop becoming these labels because I'm this.
Speaker: And I was like, no.
Speaker: A guy named Frank Crosby.
Speaker: Shout out to Frank Crosby.
Speaker: He's from Baltimore.
Speaker: He's been cutting Martin Lawrence hair for years, decades, right?
Speaker: When I first moved to LA, he said, listen, young man, you got a good head on your shoulders.
Speaker: You got look going on.
Speaker: You're a good looking brother.
Speaker: One thing I don't want you to do
Speaker: is get caught up in black Hollywood.
Speaker: I'm like, what do you mean?
Speaker: Like, don't become consumed and accustomed to just being in black Hollywood, being the black goddess in Hollywood with all the black people all the time.
Speaker: And he said, not that you don't want to do that and be a part of that.
Speaker: You got to understand that before you're a black, you're a human being.
Speaker: You're a human being before you're anything.
Speaker: So since the age of 22, moving to LA in 2010,
Speaker: that always resonated with my spirit.
Speaker: So when I go out in society or just the world, the universe, I'm not looking at it, I'm this black man.
Speaker: Yes, I'm aware that I'm black and my skin is darker, but that's not my intention.
Speaker: So I'm not gonna attract
Speaker: the thoughts or the frequency that the average or a typical black person would probably attract, like racism and challenges, like maybe, but I'm not looking for that because I'm not putting that label on my mind and my life that I'm this.
Speaker: So people don't understand when you claim something, the universe brings you that.
Speaker: It's kind of like attracting what you believe or what comes with that territory.
Speaker: If you say you're a gang member, you're going to get everything that comes with saying being a gang member.
Speaker: Let's look at Tekashi 6ix9ine.
Speaker: Oh, Lord.
Speaker: So what I'm saying is that we got to be aware of what we're saying and how we're saying it.
Speaker: That's besides the point.
Speaker: All I'm saying is that be aware, never give up.
Speaker: But some things you have to give up to grow.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: You have to give things up to grow.
Speaker: Sometimes you have to give up the relationship with your childhood friend just to build a better one on that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because you got to go and grow.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But when you're trying to hold on to something that's not moving, a relationship, life, friends, partnership, job, money.
Speaker: Same with money.
Speaker: I got to hold this money.
Speaker: I got to hold this money.
Speaker: You can never make more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because you're holding on to it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So give it up.
Speaker: Let go of it.
Speaker: Spend it.
Speaker: Invest it so you can get more.
Speaker: Yeah, you make room for the better things.
Speaker: And I always my mom said this to me.
Speaker: Every disappointment is a blessing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And, you know, you can't ever really grow.
Speaker: I think I told you this yesterday.
Speaker: I'm a Virgo and I am very.
Speaker: prepared at all times.
Speaker: I plan all the, it's kind of annoying.
Speaker: And I don't like change.
Speaker: I have to go through it.
Speaker: I cringe every time, but most people do not like change.
Speaker: But I have a tattoo on me because I don't like change that says make peace with uncertainty.
Speaker: It's the hardest thing to do because you want to know what's happening next.
Speaker: You want to know like, okay, if I let this go, am I going to be okay?
Speaker: You're going to be even better.
Speaker: You're going to be even better.
Speaker: And be okay not knowing what's next.
Speaker: Don't be afraid of the unknown because that's when miracles happen.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Because when you have it all figured out, you can't figure it out.
Speaker: Because you think, if I would have came in here today, right?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And did this podcast.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: and knew everything that was going to go on, how it was going to go on, I wouldn't be present.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because I'm not allowing whatever's supposed to come down in that moment to exist and happen.
Speaker: But let's talk about never giving up.
Speaker: I have a story or I have a topic or a person I think we all might know.
Speaker: Well, basketball fans.
Speaker: Let's talk about Derek
Speaker: Yes, Chicago native.
Speaker: Because I don't want people to confuse me never giving up with you should give up, right?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So, Derrick Rose, MVP, rookie of the year.
Speaker: He was everything his first two or three years in the NBA.
Speaker: Then he had a knee injury.
Speaker: I think he tweaked his ACL.
Speaker: Then he tore it again.
Speaker: Then he had a toe injury.
Speaker: He just kept getting hurt, right?
Speaker: So, a lot of people...
Speaker: Just thought like, oh, it's done.
Speaker: He's done.
Speaker: He's done.
Speaker: He's never going to be back to where he needs to be.
Speaker: I'm guilty of saying that.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: You know, some people are like, man, he's low on his confidence.
Speaker: He's not there.
Speaker: But Derrick Rose never gave up until this day.
Speaker: He's still in the NBA.
Speaker: He's still in the NBA.
Speaker: At a high level.
Speaker: Maybe not the superstar status that he was.
Speaker: But he's up there.
Speaker: But I think what happened was he didn't give up.
Speaker: But he did let go.
Speaker: What did he let go?
Speaker: He let go of who he was to become who he is.
Speaker: So who he was was the superstar, the MVP, the talent, the great Chicago, Derrick Rose.
Speaker: I love Derrick Rose.
Speaker: And that's great.
Speaker: But that part of him diminished just a bit because he had to find out another side of him.
Speaker: So he let that side go.
Speaker: He let that part of him go.
Speaker: And to grow and be the man, the father, the athlete, and the NBA guy that he is today, which is great.
Speaker: He's durable.
Speaker: He can play.
Speaker: puts up great numbers he's on the Detroit Pistons right now yeah and his comeback story is amazing he dropped 50 points last year so Minnesota Timberwolves yeah but just to give people example I think he let go of what he thought he should have had based on his circumstances and it was easy to give up because his injuries
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: But he didn't.
Speaker: So it's kind of like case in point.
Speaker: You got to know when to let go.
Speaker: You got to know when to give up on things.
Speaker: But give up is such a strong statement.
Speaker: So I don't want people to think like, yeah, just give up.
Speaker: Like, no, don't just give up.
Speaker: Process it, access it, and really understand, okay, is this working for me?
Speaker: Is this a part of my life?
Speaker: Does this get into my life?
Speaker: And then you're like, you know what?
Speaker: Or am I just afraid of work?
Speaker: Because sometimes I also know people who are great at work.
Speaker: And then when they don't get what they want from what they do, they give up.
Speaker: They have a fixed mindset around that.
Speaker: That was the issue of mine personally.
Speaker: I'm so good at this and I'm not doing it with these people.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And they expect fast results.
Speaker: And it's like, even when you start a business,
Speaker: Business.
Speaker: Sorry, I'm from Texas.
Speaker: When you start a business, you can't look for profit within the first six months.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: People think like, oh, I started this business.
Speaker: I'm going to start making money off the bat.
Speaker: No, you have to have your funds suitable for the first six months in order for you to start seeing profit.
Speaker: Because then your ego gets in and you're like, yeah, we started making this money.
Speaker: But what I had to learn from running a business is that there are seasons.
Speaker: Yeah, you're good for the summertime, but when fall hit, you looking for everything, especially in L.A.
Speaker: Seasons are really, really amazing.
Speaker: And here's the thing.
Speaker: You used to come to my boot camps back in the day.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: North Hollywood.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: For two years, I had a boot camp in North Hollywood Park.
Speaker: Shots out the NoHo!
Speaker: We're starting!
Speaker: Fitness training!
Speaker: Stop!
Speaker: Oh, my God!
Speaker: Stop!
Speaker: Rich life success driven!
Speaker: But anyway.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: I did it for two years.
Speaker: It was free.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Maybe four to eight, maybe ten people at a time would show up.
Speaker: Uh-huh.
Speaker: I didn't get paid for that.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But guess what?
Speaker: After those two years, I gave it up.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Right?
Speaker: Or you let it go.
Speaker: I let it go.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Let it go, gave it up, whatever.
Speaker: Let it go.
Speaker: But I didn't let it go because I didn't want to do it.
Speaker: It just wasn't in my season to do it anymore.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Fast forward to now.
Speaker: Now?
Speaker: Maybe four or five years, you know, after that.
Speaker: Now I'm getting paid.
Speaker: More than enough money.
Speaker: To do the same boot camps.
Speaker: To do the same boot camps once a month.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: So I really never gave it up.
Speaker: I just let it go.
Speaker: So I can grow.
Speaker: The universe brought me even more.
Speaker: Give me a high five.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: So if you understand what I'm saying.
Speaker: sometimes you got to let go of things maybe even relationships yes you know maybe you need to take time a year or two years off and maybe you're back and you end up with that same person right like you got to grow yeah you got to become more you got to become something and so if it's in your cards to keep that professional that job or that thing or that business but guess what that business the business you gave up
Speaker: You have information about it now.
Speaker: I shall do.
Speaker: So when you go start another business, you got that information.
Speaker: You know how to run it.
Speaker: You know the ins and outs.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So there's no fear there.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Because you have information.
Speaker: I know how to.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Everything is an experience, guys.
Speaker: You have to understand that your life is always working for you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And not against you.
Speaker: Everything that you're going through right now is propelling you for that next season.
Speaker: I have a theory called the slingshot theory.
Speaker: Slingshot.
Speaker: And basically what it is, is if you picture a slingshot and you have your rock on there and you only pull the rock back just a little bit and you let it go, the rock isn't going to go very far.
Speaker: But if you put the rock on the rubber, on the slingshot and you pull it back,
Speaker: all the way, when you let the rock go, it's gone.
Speaker: You won't even be able to see the rock again.
Speaker: And that's what life does for us.
Speaker: It's short-term sacrifice for long-term benefits.
Speaker: If you have to let something go, let it go.
Speaker: If it's in your heart, I tried to let go of art.
Speaker: I tried to let go of modeling and acting because it wasn't giving me the results that I expected at the time.
Speaker: So I said, let me just put this on a back burner, get my mind right and see, okay, will there be a time where I'll find it again?
Speaker: And I actually did.
Speaker: And I'm like, oh, I'm not desperate when I go into an audition anymore.
Speaker: I'm not seeking to get booked automatically because I know the game.
Speaker: So just be patient with yourself.
Speaker: And, you know, if there is something that you are looking to attain, grind, work for it, grow through it.
Speaker: But also know if you're forcing, it's hindering your, you know, your well-being, you should just let it go.
Speaker: Let it go.
Speaker: But the main thing for all of us, for everybody listening, what I got from this podcast, Amina, is...
Speaker: Let go so you can grow, but never, never, never give up on yourself.
Speaker: Correct.
Speaker: That's the ultimate.
Speaker: You can give up on these, but never give up on yourself.
Speaker: And with the slingshot theory and let go, let go also, you know, stretching that stretch.
Speaker: When you let go, check it out.
Speaker: Here it is, here it is, right here.
Speaker: When you let go and you're pulling it back, the slingshot,
Speaker: Guess what you're doing?
Speaker: You're stretching your faith.
Speaker: Because you're telling yourself when I let this job, this profession, this relationship, this thing go, that I have more faith that things are going to happen for the greater good.
Speaker: Because everything is greater later.
Speaker: Hello, I'm in church.
Speaker: Amen.
Speaker: So it's all right.
Speaker: You can let go.
Speaker: So you can grow, but you also got to stretch that faith when you let go.
Speaker: Yes, yes.
Speaker: And believe that you can achieve whatever you're looking for.
Speaker: And that short-term sacrifice is tough.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's challenging.
Speaker: It's uncomfortable.
Speaker: But it's so good for the back-end results.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Because it's like, how did I not do that?
Speaker: How did I not do this?
Speaker: When I went on the show, The Bachelorette, 10 weeks I was gone.
Speaker: I couldn't make no money.
Speaker: I had no phone.
Speaker: I couldn't talk to no one.
Speaker: None of that.
Speaker: But guess what?
Speaker: I had faith that something great was going to happen.
Speaker: And it did.
Speaker: My life changed.
Speaker: But I had to sacrifice those 10 weeks not having a normal life to have an even better life.
Speaker: So I had to stretch and let go of what I thought I should have in that moment.
Speaker: And I had faith.
Speaker: And there it was.
Speaker: Yay.
Speaker: I love, I love, I love talking about stuff like this, guys.
Speaker: There is a, I have a quote.
Speaker: Okay, what's the quote?
Speaker: You know, I love me some roomie.
Speaker: Hmm, I love roomie.
Speaker: So there is a quote that pertains to this and it says, if you are irritated by every rub, how will you be polished?
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: That for me resonated for this conversation because the growing part, it's called growing pains for a reason.
Speaker: It don't feel good.
Speaker: It's going to be uncomfortable, but just know that the end result of that is going to be better.
Speaker: And I have another one that says, procrastination is not only the fear of failure, it is the belief that success can be postponed to another day.
Speaker: So if you happen to give up, right, because you weren't getting the results and the stuff you were doing, you're a human being.
Speaker: So you have a natural desire that keeps coming over and over and over again.
Speaker: Sometimes when you've given up on multiple things, you start to procrastinate because you're afraid of falling again.
Speaker: But procrastination is just a huge fear that you must overcome.
Speaker: So you win some, lose some to fight another day.
Speaker: Another day.
Speaker: Keep going, guys.
Speaker: Keep going.
Speaker: If it doesn't challenge you, it doesn't change you.
Speaker: It's all about your breakthrough.
Speaker: Don't give up on yourself.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: That's all.
Speaker: Thank you guys for listening.
Speaker: Go follow us at BiggerTalksPodcast.
Speaker: Share.
Speaker: And tell us what you think about the show.
Speaker: Give us some feedback.
Speaker: Feedback.
Speaker: DM us.
Speaker: Let us know what do you want us to talk about.
Speaker: Maybe we can, you know, have some guests on.
Speaker: So just let us know.
Speaker: Be authentic.
Speaker: Be willing to help us grow.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And, yeah, that's it.
Speaker: Thank you guys so much.
Speaker: We're open.
Speaker: We're here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Have a good one.
Speaker: Hey guys, thank you so much for joining us today.
Speaker: For more, be sure to follow us on social media at BiggerTalksPodcast.
Speaker: And remember, it's miracle season, so don't forget to be great.
