Transcript
Speaker: One of the best feelings in life is feeling anchored.
Speaker: When the waves of life come, you stay confident, stable, and secure.
Speaker: So how do we stay connected in a world full of distractions?
Speaker: We think honest conversations can help.
Speaker: I'm Allie.
Speaker: And I'm Linneez.
Speaker: Two friends who just want to chat about how to be our best selves.
Speaker: Thanks for joining us.
Speaker: This is Anchored in Life.
Speaker: Listen, we talk about a lot of uncomfortable things.
Speaker: I'm not sure if these make you as uncomfortable as me, but embracing the power of compliments is what we're going to tackle this time.
Speaker: And I don't know what my face does when anyone gives me a compliment, but I'm pretty sure it's not a pleasant face.
Speaker: And I really do want to accept them well.
Speaker: I can so understand and relate to that.
Speaker: You receive them a lot, whether you want them or not, because of your job.
Speaker: I do.
Speaker: But my question to you is, you're in the grocery store and someone comes up to you and they say, oh my gosh, that is such a beautiful dress.
Speaker: It really compliments you.
Speaker: You look so good in that.
Speaker: What do you say?
Speaker: Usually the first thing that comes to mind is I tell them where I got it.
Speaker: Not like that even matters.
Speaker: I guess I just want them to know that they can have it too.
Speaker: I do say I say thank you and that they're so nice.
Speaker: And that was so sweet of them to say.
Speaker: I'm going to level up now because I think sometimes when the person is closer to you, you may have a different reaction.
Speaker: Your husband comes to you and he says, you know, Ali, I think you did a really good job in straightening up the house today.
Speaker: OK, OK.
Speaker: It's like I'm wrestling with the fact that I should be thankful that he said that.
Speaker: The stranger's comment about the dress makes me feel differently than him saying that.
Speaker: There is a difference between the ones you love complimenting you and the strangers.
Speaker: Oh, for sure.
Speaker: So that's kind of what I'm wrestling with.
Speaker: It does depend on what he's complimenting me on.
Speaker: Like if you had said cooking something, I would be like, okay, great.
Speaker: You can go thank the inventors of Home Chef because...
Speaker: That's all I cook.
Speaker: But the cleaning up the house thing, that means a lot to me.
Speaker: But it just doesn't make my brain go, oh, that was nice.
Speaker: Quite like a stranger in a grocery store.
Speaker: You know, how do you feel?
Speaker: Yeah, I do.
Speaker: I remember, because just saw you a couple of weeks ago, and I gave you a compliment.
Speaker: Were you testing me?
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: I was.
Speaker: Oh, what'd you say?
Speaker: I said, it's really good seeing you and being here.
Speaker: And you said, oh, there's kind of like a pause.
Speaker: Do you know where we were?
Speaker: At the wine place?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: This clearly meant so much to me.
Speaker: We're at Unity Park.
Speaker: I literally just said, oh, I didn't even say it was nice to see you too.
Speaker: You did kind of like just what you did just now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I think, and there was more attached to it, but the gist was you look great.
Speaker: It was so good seeing you.
Speaker: And I said to you, you should just say thank you, Allie.
Speaker: You don't remember that.
Speaker: I don't remember that.
Speaker: You can be honest.
Speaker: I'll cut you some grace.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: But I said that to you because people say that to me all the time.
Speaker: You should just say thank you.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: I have a hard time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Words mean very little to me.
Speaker: Try not to put a lot of stock in what people say.
Speaker: I'm more about your actions.
Speaker: And my husband is very much a person who likes positive reinforcement.
Speaker: Mine does too.
Speaker: Words of affirmation.
Speaker: And that is so not me.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: So first, when someone gives me a compliment, I'm thinking, well, if you really feel that way, you would know that it makes me uncomfortable when you do that.
Speaker: So you would do something else.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: to convey that message.
Speaker: Now, that's not fair, right?
Speaker: To hold a stranger accountable for something like that.
Speaker: But it's someone I know.
Speaker: See, you coming all the way to Greenville, South Carolina, from where you live, was the biggest compliment you could have given me.
Speaker: You know, so it's almost like I don't need the words because you sitting there in front of me physically was all you needed to say.
Speaker: So I'm the same way.
Speaker: But then some people are the complete opposite.
Speaker: They're like, I don't care what you do.
Speaker: I just care what you say.
Speaker: I just need to hear the words.
Speaker: And yeah, I've never been like that either.
Speaker: But if somebody neglects complimenting me for a really long time, and I think that it's part of our friendship or marriage or whatever to do that, then I start to feel a little bad.
Speaker: And that's why we can't not talk about self-esteem and confidence when it comes to this.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Now, some people would say because you can't handle a compliment that you do have a low self-esteem.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: I disagree.
Speaker: I wholeheartedly disagree.
Speaker: That's not been my problem.
Speaker: But there are people who say because you are so uncomfortable with the complimentary message because at the heart of it, you're really not completely comfortable with yourself.
Speaker: That's why you respond in such a way.
Speaker: But if you had that confidence, you know, and not to be cocky with it or arrogant, you would kind of feel like, yeah, I know.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Thank you for saying so.
Speaker: Yeah, I think that's the first thing that comes out of my mouth is like, it's not an I know, but it can also be like, I'm not surprised to hear you say that.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: When you're wearing a nice dress, you kind of know that.
Speaker: But you're right.
Speaker: Just say thank you.
Speaker: It's good advice.
Speaker: I want to reciprocate the compliment immediately, especially for a stranger.
Speaker: I feel like I got to give something here.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: That's my first inclination.
Speaker: Do you think that that's like deflecting?
Speaker: I don't know if it's that.
Speaker: So what would you say?
Speaker: Oh, you're dressed as nice to you?
Speaker: What if it's not a nice dress?
Speaker: And I know I'm not a people pleaser, so no, but I would find something that I liked, like their earrings or something.
Speaker: No, I think it's because I don't... Wow, I might be eating my words right now.
Speaker: I don't feel very deserving of attention.
Speaker: When I get it, I want the other person to know that they're more worthy of it than me.
Speaker: Oh, that's interesting.
Speaker: Like, no, no, no, let's not talk about me in this moment.
Speaker: Let's talk about you because you're awesome.
Speaker: We don't need to spend any time talking about me.
Speaker: But again, like you said, it's not a...
Speaker: People are going to be like, yes, it is.
Speaker: You're dumb.
Speaker: But I really don't think it's a confidence thing.
Speaker: I just don't want to spend my time talking about me.
Speaker: Does that make sense?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Some people would say that that's humility.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I don't want to give myself that much credit, but I don't have low self-esteem.
Speaker: I can pretty much confidently say that.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: When you give a compliment, it can help the other person feel more confident.
Speaker: Not to say that they are lacking, whether or not, but it just breeds that.
Speaker: But I still find it very interesting that you don't think that you are worthy of
Speaker: of compliments and that's why you don't like them.
Speaker: I don't like compliments because, you know, stop talking about it and do something that would instead show your appreciation.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So if you think, for example, I'll use cooking.
Speaker: If you think that I made a good dinner, don't just say, oh, dinner is great.
Speaker: Get up and clear the table and wash the dishes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, okay.
Speaker: As your friend, I have a practical question then.
Speaker: So when I'm scrolling on your Instagram and I particularly love one of your dresses, what do you want me to do about that?
Speaker: Just like the picture.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, duh.
Speaker: I like all of them.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But that, that makes sense.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: If I was in the studio with you, you still want me to just like the picture on Instagram, right?
Speaker: Well, yes.
Speaker: That's the action.
Speaker: Then you can say, I liked your picture of your dress.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: This makes sense.
Speaker: So basically ask your loved ones what they want or need.
Speaker: If you didn't ask, you're never going to know.
Speaker: And then you're just going to be giving them the wrong thing maybe the whole time.
Speaker: That's helpful.
Speaker: Do you remember a compliment that meant a lot to you?
Speaker: Gosh, I hate that.
Speaker: That you don't have one?
Speaker: No, I hate that about the way the human mind often works.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I hate that...
Speaker: We're so quick to revert to the negative or a bad memory.
Speaker: I have a list of compliments that I thought were flippant, not sincere.
Speaker: I would have to think, I'm sure that there is, but I would have to think about that.
Speaker: And, oh, I hate that.
Speaker: Why is that?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Why is it so easy to recall the bad and negative?
Speaker: What is going on with our brain chemistry?
Speaker: And why can I remember every single song from middle school?
Speaker: But I was at a wedding this weekend and I just, they were playing oldies, oldies, like 2000s.
Speaker: And-
Speaker: I knew every word.
Speaker: And I was so frustrated because I was like, I can't remember that things I need to remember, but I can remember that.
Speaker: One of the ones that comes to mind is, so if you don't know this about Lanise listeners, she journals and reflects and she's a very good friend.
Speaker: And sometimes she reflects on her friends specifically as her meditation.
Speaker: And sometimes you'll get a text as her friend.
Speaker: with something that she wants to say to you.
Speaker: And you're like, what is this going on?
Speaker: You're like, is she dying?
Speaker: What's happening?
Speaker: You know, but I don't, I just know she's, she's meditating or something or started a new book or whatever, but you, I'm not even sure which Texas was cause there's been so many and I'm very thankful for that.
Speaker: But I remember when you told me that I just radiated light and I had never thought of myself like that.
Speaker: I always feel like sometimes I'm dimming people's lights because I'm so realistic.
Speaker: I remember that.
Speaker: And I'm like, Lanise thinks I'm light.
Speaker: So I'm going to live like that.
Speaker: I'm going to do my best.
Speaker: I'm not like that all the time.
Speaker: But I've noticed some other people say similar comments after you had given me that compliment and realized that I need to lean into that.
Speaker: Because if enough people in my life that I care about and love are telling me that, then it's true.
Speaker: I think...
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: One of the worst things you can do with a compliment, right, is say it's not true.
Speaker: Like, wouldn't that be hurtful to you if I just rejected that?
Speaker: Like, no, I don't think I am.
Speaker: But thanks.
Speaker: I know that, but as a person who's guilty of that quite frequently, it doesn't come from a negative place.
Speaker: I'm not throwing away your words.
Speaker: I'm not wadding it up into a ball and tossing it into the basket.
Speaker: I'm more or less just wondering, why can't you do what you say?
Speaker: There has to be another way.
Speaker: And we're keeping it very simple with talking about how a person looks.
Speaker: Like if we're going out to a concert and I'm all dolled up and you say, we look good, girl.
Speaker: Of course.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm going to say thank you.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: But if I if I wake up in the morning and I know I look a hot mess and my husband looks at me and say, you're the most beautiful.
Speaker: Oh, no, no.
Speaker: Please stop.
Speaker: OK, stop.
Speaker: We both know.
Speaker: Oh, gosh.
Speaker: Or when I was prego.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: Allie.
Speaker: Anyone listening to this, if you are expecting or when you become prego, please do not think that you have to overeat.
Speaker: It's a PSA.
Speaker: Listen, I'm...
Speaker: I gained 70 pounds, 70 with my first child.
Speaker: No wonder I had preeclampsia.
Speaker: You do not need to eat that much, even though you are growing another human being.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But all the time, my husband would tell me how beautiful I looked.
Speaker: No one told me that I looked like the marshmallow puff man from the Ghostbusters.
Speaker: No one.
Speaker: So I walked around looking puffy all day.
Speaker: And I just, I wish someone would have said, hmm, has your doctor talked to you about the size of your child or, you know, and you have to be tactful because you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.
Speaker: That would have to be somebody you know really cares about you.
Speaker: That can't just come from anyone.
Speaker: That can't come from a viewer.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: No, no, no, no, no.
Speaker: No, but listen, I, I was in danger health wise.
Speaker: I'm not being nasty or anything.
Speaker: I mean, someone should have said.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So a good example of, of action then would be, I mean, you already do this, but if I was like you and looking for an action, then if you think I'm, I'm light, the action that I would expect from you is that you talk to me often.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Or you engage with me often or send me stuff or whatever.
Speaker: And that's exactly what you do.
Speaker: So I don't even think about it.
Speaker: But is that a good example of something a little deeper?
Speaker: For me, and if you are a person who is more accepting to, going back to that test, acts, right?
Speaker: I think anyone who's looking to pay a compliment or be receiving end of a compliment, I guess what's most important that I wanted to stress in terms of doing this episode is be grateful.
Speaker: Be thankful because a person could be saying something that's not nice to you.
Speaker: Unfortunately, you get a lot of good, but I think you get a little bit of bad here and there being a public figure.
Speaker: But I'm really fortunate.
Speaker: I haven't, earlier in my career, I did get a lot of that.
Speaker: And I thought, why would someone sit down and write this?
Speaker: And I don't mean on a computer.
Speaker: I mean, hand write and put it in an envelope, address it and mail it.
Speaker: Why would you do that?
Speaker: They're sad and they have nothing better to do.
Speaker: What do you think about imposter syndrome?
Speaker: Oh, this happens to me all the time.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Do you think that's why it's hard to accept a compliment?
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: But that's not even what people are trying to compliment me on.
Speaker: So I don't know why I always turn it into that.
Speaker: I feel like my life is a lot of trying to prove to people that I don't have it all together.
Speaker: So please don't think that.
Speaker: But I do appreciate when people compliment me for maybe something I did do really well.
Speaker: I will say we're talking about compliments and we're talking a lot about self-esteem and confidence, but imposter syndrome to me is a little more on the professional side.
Speaker: And I need not just actions, but I need words to affirm me and my job because you don't really get the luxury of having a deep enough relationship with people to where they can do things for you, especially if it's
Speaker: You know, your boss is one thing, but if it's kind of somebody that you work with every now and then in another department, I just need you to say, thanks, this looks great.
Speaker: Kind of, you know, that's the action and words at the same time.
Speaker: I guess sending the email is the action.
Speaker: So I do find that I am seeking it and craving it in work and that if I am not validated every once in a while, that it does affect me and that imposter syndrome starts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't want to be affirmed if I'm not doing a good job, but you know, you just kind of know that you are and no one's saying anything.
Speaker: You can't just make that up in your head.
Speaker: It'll get to you.
Speaker: And so that's when imposter syndrome starts for me is when I'm not getting anything from the people that I'm serving or doing this work for.
Speaker: And then it's kind of like, yikes, maybe I'm not doing this right or well enough for them to say anything.
Speaker: And then it's a spiral.
Speaker: I think that it's important for managers, you know, since we're in this professional area of the conversation to, and I know that they're busy.
Speaker: You know, my husband's a manager and just thinking of how he plans his day, but he makes an effort to reach out and
Speaker: to his employees to ask how they're doing, what their personal goals are, not just work related.
Speaker: Because if you are invested, I think, in the individual, then the individual thinks that you care and they will perform better.
Speaker: Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker: And I think, yes, that action is sending out that email.
Speaker: And I don't look at it as validation.
Speaker: I look at it as appreciation.
Speaker: You are communicating to that person.
Speaker: You're doing a good job.
Speaker: And I appreciate you.
Speaker: And so often I think, I don't know, managers, maybe they don't want their employees to get a big head or whatever.
Speaker: Maybe they just don't have the time or maybe they don't think the person needs to hear it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But they just don't do it.
Speaker: And those check-ins are important.
Speaker: You don't just want to, oh my gosh.
Speaker: So here's a great example that I used to use a lot in retail.
Speaker: Because whenever you're doing something wrong in customer service, oh, you hear about it.
Speaker: You don't like your food.
Speaker: You're telling the waitress, I asked for this to be medium and it's well done.
Speaker: Constant, constant, constant complaining.
Speaker: People are so quick to criticize, but not always so quick to praise.
Speaker: Now, the flip side of that is we need to be willing to accept that.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Well, kind of going into that, the negative effects of not accepting a compliment.
Speaker: Well, I mean, inherently, aren't people going to stop giving them?
Speaker: Mm hmm.
Speaker: No one likes to be rejected, no matter what it is.
Speaker: And that can really affect another person more than you know.
Speaker: So when we had that as a topic, I was thinking about that.
Speaker: I think that's the most detrimental thing is you're dissuading people in your life from complimenting you.
Speaker: and blocking a potential light.
Speaker: Because like you said, when I talked about how bright, I mean, I close my eyes and your name comes to mind.
Speaker: The first thing that I see, it's just yellow, vibrant yellow.
Speaker: Because for me, you do
Speaker: For me, you exude confidence and light and such an infectious energy.
Speaker: And we've talked about this before, so I know you don't, well, you didn't at the time.
Speaker: You don't understand how I have that opinion of you and you thought maybe it was something else.
Speaker: But that was one of the reasons why I was drawn to you, because you just have this bright light, you know, like the sun and everyone just wants to be in it.
Speaker: And I think the more you compliment people, when you point out things that you see, they start to see them too.
Speaker: And then they start to walk in that fashion.
Speaker: First of all, thank you.
Speaker: But you're right, because it makes me want to be that person, whether I think I'm her or not.
Speaker: You're telling me that I am.
Speaker: I got other people telling me I believe you and everyone telling me that.
Speaker: It's almost like a little bit of a goal, you know?
Speaker: And when I'm sure Phoenix, I know your daughter thinks that you're just the greatest.
Speaker: She might think you're old.
Speaker: She calls you old bones.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I think that's so funny.
Speaker: I do too.
Speaker: Cause I'm like, where did you get old bones?
Speaker: Even your old bones can run that marathon.
Speaker: But I know, does it inspire you that you know that she thinks the world of you?
Speaker: So you asked me a moment ago, you know, is there a compliment?
Speaker: That really meant a lot to me.
Speaker: And in thinking about it and still trying to come up with something, hers are the first that come to mind.
Speaker: And she's got the best way of doing it, too.
Speaker: You know, she'll hold your hand or she'll grab your face or she'll look at you directly in your eye and just say, I think you're so beautiful and I get my looks from you.
Speaker: She went to a daddy-daughter dance a couple of weeks ago.
Speaker: And I did her hair.
Speaker: She had on a dress up.
Speaker: It was Taylor Swift thing.
Speaker: So we had a time because neither one of us, we don't dislike Taylor Swift, but we're not like listening to Taylor Swift all the time.
Speaker: Right, right.
Speaker: And we had to do some research and find out what was going to be the error.
Speaker: And she looked so beautiful.
Speaker: And I said, Phoenix, you look so lovely.
Speaker: I hope you have a great time tonight.
Speaker: And she stopped because she was walking out the door and she turned around and she walked up to me and she said, thank you, mom.
Speaker: And she grabbed my face and she said, but I think you are so beautiful too.
Speaker: And I get my looks from you.
Speaker: And she's so sweet.
Speaker: She is perceptive.
Speaker: So in that, because I mean, that's your daughter.
Speaker: Obviously, that means a lot to you.
Speaker: But generally, whether you think that about yourself or not, let's...
Speaker: Practically share some techniques on how to redirect any negative self-talk that might be happening when you're receiving these compliments, as I hope the first thought that you had was not that that's not true.
Speaker: You know, I wouldn't think so, knowing you.
Speaker: But on a particular day that could have happened, you know, I've seen not you.
Speaker: I've seen reporters, anchors get really down by one comment, one email they got.
Speaker: And it almost negates all the other great things.
Speaker: So when you have that one that we talked about, that negative that it just sticks, how can we redirect when someone's giving us a compliment, the negative?
Speaker: I think, again, it comes with practice.
Speaker: Be in the habit of saying thank you.
Speaker: I think just saying that phrase in itself makes you open.
Speaker: You're letting the gratitude in, which pretty much every conversation we decide that gratitude is the answer.
Speaker: Honestly, it is not rocket science here.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, seriously, it's just habits.
Speaker: On the other side of this is your self-worth is made up of other people's compliments, which is also dangerous.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You don't want to fall into that trap.
Speaker: And I think that would probably be a topic to tackle another time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because there's a lot that you could talk about there.
Speaker: People do hang their value together.
Speaker: on other people's assessments and you just cannot do that because people change.
Speaker: They change.
Speaker: And, you know, like before we started this episode, you asked me, how are you doing?
Speaker: Well, I'm having to tell myself, right?
Speaker: No, just fine.
Speaker: Everything's great.
Speaker: So I may say, you know what, so-and-so, you're really annoying me.
Speaker: And it has nothing to do with so-and-so.
Speaker: It's more or less because my day may be not be so great.
Speaker: And if you are constantly seeking approval or looking for those compliments, then yeah, you're going to set yourself up a lot for hurt.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Well, speaking of practice too, in the same way that you practice receiving them well and saying thank you, and maybe that is hard enough in itself and that's a great place to start.
Speaker: I think it's important for us to practice giving them because what it's making you do is be thankful for something about someone else, whether that is physical appearance or not.
Speaker: But that's another way to practice gratitude is complimenting someone.
Speaker: And if they just think it's so totally out of the blue, because you never do that, well, that's...
Speaker: Not great.
Speaker: Not a great feeling either, is it?
Speaker: Like, why are you saying that?
Speaker: You don't want someone to be so shocked.
Speaker: Well, it's in the initial shock factor is going to be there.
Speaker: But I think that if it's sincere, all they can, and they may be shy, right?
Speaker: In accepting it that first time, but they'll definitely be touched.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: That's a good lesson for me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I could be better at giving more compliments.
Speaker: Maybe then I would be able to accept them more.
Speaker: That's true.
Speaker: That it's a two way street.
Speaker: Maybe if you just start going in one direction, the other direction will start to flow.
Speaker: I didn't think about it like that, but that's a good point.
Speaker: This one was hard.
Speaker: Yeah, because once again, once again, the level of being uncomfortable, it depends on your personality and the test we kept alluding to.
Speaker: Well, I don't know if we're going to be talking about the same one.
Speaker: I mean, I thought of Enneagram first, but the love languages.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: That one is free and really short.
Speaker: If anyone has never heard of that, it's just how do you want to be loved?
Speaker: And so there's five of them, I think.
Speaker: And it was really important at the beginning of my marriage to know that.
Speaker: And I would like to say because a lot of people do talk about them in terms of relationships, a husband or a boyfriend.
Speaker: And it's not just that.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: These are languages I think that you can use for relationships.
Speaker: Just how you communicate with your friends.
Speaker: Again, it helps you to know more about yourself.
Speaker: And there are five, and I guess we should say what those five are.
Speaker: Words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch, acts of service, receiving gifts.
Speaker: And so full disclosure, my love languages are in this order.
Speaker: acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, and words of affirmation, then physical touch.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Those are my exact five in order as well.
Speaker: That's why we get a lot.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: Don't touch me, but I would love to spend time with you.
Speaker: That's us in a nutshell.
Speaker: And yeah, I pretty much if you flip them upside down, that's my husband.
Speaker: So, you know, same same Dylan's top, his most important physical touch and then words of affirmation.
Speaker: And I'm like, you're like, why do I like you?
Speaker: We are honestly, we are so opposite.
Speaker: But you're best friends.
Speaker: It's so crazy.
Speaker: Yeah, I know.
Speaker: I think about that too.
Speaker: You're so aware of it.
Speaker: I'm so aware of it.
Speaker: And I can be a good wife because of that.
Speaker: But I know all my friends love languages too.
Speaker: And so when I have a physical touch, friendly friend.
Speaker: I really do embrace the hugging, you know, because it's her way.
Speaker: She has to.
Speaker: She's got no other way to express it, you know?
Speaker: And so it just helps instead of being like, stop, which is like, no one wants to be friends with that.
Speaker: And I think some people, they don't know what else to do.
Speaker: And they think by extending a hug, well, this is showing affection.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Yeah, that's fair.
Speaker: And if I'm showing affection, I'm communicating love.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Unless the person on the receiving end is like, I hate this.
Speaker: Please go take out the trash and don't hug me.
Speaker: That's what I would love.
Speaker: I remember telling Nathaniel pretty much that exact sentence when we got married.
Speaker: It was like, I need you to show your love in helping me with things that can be like crossed off lists.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So if hugging is on our list, then we can compromise.
Speaker: But I need this done.
Speaker: And it's helpful.
Speaker: Always realizing at the end of these conversations that knowing more about yourself is the way to go when it comes to growth, personal growth.
Speaker: And I love feedback and sharing information.
Speaker: So if you're listening to this and you have suggestions on giving sincere compliments and receiving them with gratitude, let us know.
Speaker: And if you have questions and you put that question as a comment, either on the episode or on our podcast page, whichever platform you're listening on, we'll take some time at the next recording and answer those first.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And if that keeps happening, then so be it.
Speaker: We'll start our podcast with that instead.
Speaker: It's all about doing life together and trying to be our best.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: We're trying.
Speaker: Thank you for this chat.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: You're welcome.
Speaker: Bye.
Speaker: Bye.
