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Coffee Before Bed #01 w/Chris Demarais & Nick Ghanbarian
92 Plays1 year ago
Time Stamps:
Supported Monologue: 00:00-34:07
Chris Demarais: 34:08-1:30:14
Drawing Board 1:30:19-1:57:08
Best Little Bug 1:57:14-2:10:34
Nick Ghanbarian 2:10:40-2:53:13
Outro: 2:53:17-2:57:13
Coffee Before Bed is an improv based web show that’s segmented into games, performances, and interviews. Our goal is to provide consumers with an alternative to going out. No plans for Friday night? Grab a cup of coffee or a beer, sit at your computer, and let us bring the art, music, and comedy to you! Or at least one day we hope it's that. In the interim this is the product of a couple buddies with good intentions. Give us some time haha, we'll get there.
In all seriousness we have been procrastinating making this podcast since 2018. This is like the 8th iteration of this project. At some point in 2020 we had invested about $5,000 into an early version of this show that we had planned on shooting in this really cool studio on Wilshere. But Covid, and several lifetimes of events have gotten in the way of the things we want. typical lol.
While we may not feel like this is a finished product, it is with great honor, that we publish the first episode of the program. Me and my closest friends look froward to the opportunity to develop this show in front of everybody. So in one uncomfortable expression of vulnerability here we are. I hope you enjoy watching this as much as we enjoyed making it. If not? Go suck off a dirtbag or something man we're tryin
I want to thank: Chris Demarias, of Rooster Teeth, for donating his time to come hang out in swim trunks with the boys! You can follow Chris on Instagram with the link below. And be sure to check out Black Box Down! A true Crime Podcast from the sky!
Nick Ghanbarian, of Bayside, and Legal Speed Coffee for being so nice about us forgeting to press record for the first 20 minutes of his interview... Sorry buddy haha. Nick was so much fun to talk to, please check out his Instagram with the link below. Also be sure to check out one of my favorite Bayside singles ever, Go To Hell, available on all major streaming platforms. Link Below.
If you even remotely enjoyed the episode please like the video and subscribe! To Keep up with us check out our social links below:
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Transcript
A Humorous Start with Friends
00:00:30
Speaker
What city was that? I'm unsure. It was a lot of them. Welcome to the show right before we started recording. I looked to my friends, not in their eyes, but into my camera and through their camera and then into their eyes and I gave them the task to put on a presentable face. I'd like you guys to do the faces that you did when I said put on a presentable face.
00:01:01
Speaker
Wait, should we? Oh. I know we are going to have a queue. You guys like matched it. You guys both made the same face. Presentable meant the same thing to you. We didn't look at each other at all. Well, it's uniform, you know? It is. You can also feel it. Give us, here, we won't look at each other. Give us another face to make, and we'll see if we make the same face in response to something.
00:01:25
Speaker
Okay, wait, should it be specific or general? Let me give you a general one and then a specific one. Okay, we got it. All right, make a face like you were just rejected. Oh wow, not handling that. All right, now make the face like you were just rejected, but you're skeptical because you're like, wait, I'm hotter than you. You should say yes to this.
00:01:56
Speaker
Neither of those are turning the story around, I don't think. I didn't see what he did, but I assumed it was the same. No, completely different. So you guys were synonymous on the presentable and separate on everything else.
The Costco Chronicles
00:02:14
Speaker
Hey, Democrats don't have to agree on everything. Conservatives don't have to agree on everything. What they do agree on between those two parties is that Costco is excellent, is an excellent value, and it's a great American tradition. I got my Costco card this past December. It was a big deal for me. I got $20 off the membership, and I went in with my coupon. They take the picture of you, and it's like a big moment.
00:02:40
Speaker
And there's a lot of people there because the food court and the Costco wholesale is sort of right next to the customer service kiosk. And they'll have you take the picture. Those people are watching you and you're so happy and your smile is so high on your face. And they're like, I remember when I was that happy. I remember when I felt like that. And they have like a similar gratitude, but now it's matured.
00:03:05
Speaker
Yeah, it's like parental wellness. Like, ah, look at them go. Yeah. Yeah. And I stood there and I smiled for it and I closed my eyes and my eyes were completely closed. Not on purpose, just because I accidentally have trouble with that. I don't know what to look up other than how to stop closing my eyes when someone's taking a picture of me. Because I don't know what advice I'm looking to. Yeah. Like, because... Is it that I blanket more often? Probably.
00:03:36
Speaker
Well, you're closing your eyes to smile there. Don't do that. Don't close your eyes to smile. See, if the top result said that, then I'd be fine. But they take a picture there, and it's a big moment. And then you have to go back outside, because there's an entrance and an exit. So you go outside to the exit, and there's the bouncer. The Costco bouncer is standing there, checking the IDs. And I've got my first real one. Can you get to show them? Check them there?
00:04:05
Speaker
They don't check me. I feel like they never checked me. Well, no, but you look like you would drop at Costco. So like... I've never been to Costco. I'm actually a Costco hater, believe it or not. I'm very antique, Costco. Wait, why? Because they don't label their goddamn aisles, and it's flashy. It's crazy. Imagine not labeling them at an aisle? The one in Pittsburgh doesn't. How often do you go down the aisles and you're just like, I wonder what's there?
00:04:35
Speaker
Well you need to know when I was there for work and I needed to pick up 12 specific things for Instacart and you're there for the first time ever because you've never lived in this city before and you got to find where the eclairs are there in the freezer.
00:04:52
Speaker
Instacart shoppers are not people we should be giving preferential treatment to. Life should be hard for instance. I am and you'd have no clue what it was called if you went there.
00:05:14
Speaker
I just think that if I'm in a grocery store, I can reasonably, within, let's say, one or so aisle of accuracy, guess where what I'm looking for is. I'm not saying I'm not against the signs, but I'm not, I'm not out there losing sleep over the signs. He's not losing sleep either. Costco is losing a customer. Sam spilled all the way.
00:05:39
Speaker
It's all right. Well, I thought he's not even negative. Of their hot dog to 38 cents. Yeah. Well, that's, so for Republicans, if Democrats and Republicans love Costco, we're really learning that Riley's stepping out of the two-party system. He's organizing outside of the two-party system, which I can respect. And shopping at Walmart.
00:06:03
Speaker
Which I despise. I loathe. Oh yeah, I never get it. Sam's is exclusively for toilet paper and for paper towels. But Sam's is just Walmart more plus. Yeah, but like, you know, you just go there for that and then you go to the giant eagle for the rest.
00:06:19
Speaker
But I got my Costco membership, and it's this big, exciting moment for me. And when you go in somewhere like that for the first time, because, you know, I didn't have a lot of money growing up, I didn't have a lot of anything growing up. There was no thing I had a great quantity of. Even the bad things, I only had small, quiet, a very reasonably normal childhood.
00:06:41
Speaker
So you go in there and the carts are freaking enormous because everything is like a 16 pack. The milk is three gallons. I can't even lift it. I'm wearing a dress shirt and it's coming up and my down blouse is showing.
00:06:56
Speaker
And you go in there and you're completely amazed. And I go to the drink section. And in this drink section, they've got all these different options. They've got the San Pellegrino or the little mini Sprite Banta Coke combination boxes. It's got like 35 cans.
00:07:14
Speaker
and this woman is going up to things and she's just like picking them up and first she picked up the the Sprite Fanta Coke cam combo it's a 35 pack and she's holding it up and she's just like that's just so many and she picks it back and she goes over and there's like a Pepsi thing and she picks it up and she's like I don't know if I'll drink that many and she puts it back and I'm just silently thinking like I don't know if we can get this place
00:07:43
Speaker
I don't know where you're at. Um, and she's shopping and I'm standing next to her and she's like shopping in my direction, you know, like, like a widow would for attention. And she tells me, like, oh, this is how I get that noise. She says, I need to get drinks and soda. And I don't normally drink soda, but I need to get soda because my son is coming home for the first time since he was deployed.
00:08:13
Speaker
And I said, God bless your boy. That's amazing news. When is it? What's going on? And she sort of tells me she's like, oh, it's this it's February 22nd and it's going to be this big thing. And I invite all of his friends and all of our family. We're going to have this big barbecue at his uncle's place, his dad's brother. And then she told me some garbage about their relationship. But no clue what's going on with that.
00:08:40
Speaker
But she said, how old are you? And I said, I'm 26. She said, you know, you're about his age.
00:08:48
Speaker
Like, that's amazing. To be the same age as a soldier, ma'am, I appreciate you even saying that. Would you like this, ma'am? Would your son like this? FaceTime him. What's app him? You have to... I don't want him getting charged the data. Are there any, uh, pins that you get for that you get to star for, uh, for being the same age as a soldier?
00:09:20
Speaker
You guys, you see someone and you get like a military discount and you come up to the register, you're like, you know, I'm the same like age as that guy. That's 5% worth, worth it.
00:09:33
Speaker
But she invites me to the thing. She's like, you know what? You should come. He would love you there. And you were like second. And this is where it is. And in my mind, he would love you there means one of two things either. The more likely is that she is just overly nice and she just wants to make things perfect and her son doesn't have a lot of friends and she's like, you should go. And that means I should probably go. The other one is that he has got like a stranger thing.
00:10:06
Speaker
goes out and rounds up boys his age and lures him out to uncle's house. Yeah, he gets home and he sees his entire family. He's like, he's like, uncle tell me mom, sister, a stranger. Like he's way happier to see like, yeah, I missed strangers.
00:10:28
Speaker
So I came home. I came home to see this guy. Man, I was fighting for you out there.
00:10:39
Speaker
it's not like when you're a kid and you go to like a thing with your mom and you get there and it sucks and you're just sitting with the other adults but oh my god another stranger boy my age we should go play and talk she's just still in that mindset um but i i don't know if i should go to this thing to not go feels unpatriotic
00:11:04
Speaker
feels also unusual. And I did not get a plus one spoken. I don't have contact information for this woman. Can I bring my girlfriend? Is that going to piss them off? What are soldiers thoughts on stuff like that? Do you remember where this party even is? I do because she took out her purse and she gave me the address and the time and the date. Wow.
00:11:29
Speaker
Was it like on a printed business card? No, that would have raised suspicion. It was sloppily written on the back of some, like, receipt, which made it more trustworthy, almost. Like, the more... Was she writing it down, or was it already on it? No, she was printing it down. What if there were two different addresses for people that know the soldier and people who don't? And she's like, you get this, but call this number. It's a different number for strangers.
00:11:57
Speaker
There's a stranger's line. There's a 1,800- There's a complex. Sorry, go ahead. No, you go. Yeah, there's a complex at the work, a percher undoubtedly. There's like a complicated, like, entrance system where it's like, all right, this is where it is to set its uncle's house. Doors open at seven, strangers get there at eight.
00:12:22
Speaker
Plus ones get there at nine. You could bring somebody but they gotta wait for an hour outside. They don't count as the strangers. Plus ones, like people that bring people. Plus ones are probably encouraged because that's more strangers. Yeah, exactly. Plus ones, the plus ones have to be people that party throwers don't know. This is just like a swinger party, isn't it?
00:12:46
Speaker
Maybe I should go to fuck a soldier in front of his mother. It would be an honor. It would be an honor, ma'am. Yes, I will. But she didn't get any beverages. So I don't know. That's the odds. Everybody's going to be dry as shit. You're supposed to bring it. Five is too many for a party? How many people can get this party? All of his friends, all of his family. Wait, wait, wait.
00:13:16
Speaker
I'm a similar age. Can I come? What do you have going on February 22nd? I think I'm going to be at a soldier's coming old party. I'm going to be coming at a coming old party, brother. That'd be the most fun time for you to come and see me. If you're going to ever come visit me in South Carolina, I would be so happy if it was to go to the soldier's party. I'm coming to visit this soldier and I hope you'll be there.
00:13:47
Speaker
So now I'm afraid of Costco and I don't like it and I'm afraid of going in because I keep getting invited to stuff when I go there No, I probably will go and I'll keep you guys updated on exactly how it materializes what I wear What what sort of events they have I have to imagine there's gonna be like cornhole I've never thrown a coming home thing and then like do I get a gift?
00:14:14
Speaker
And then what would a soldier I think the right thing to do would be to buy him an air of 15 You know, I think it's like make him make him like sometimes, you know, they miss being deployed like how prisoners like institutionalized You know some sort of comfort Like maybe a small cage
00:14:35
Speaker
Something to like make him- Oh, like for a critter? Yeah, like, well, for him to be a critter. Well, what if he was a catcher critter?
00:14:44
Speaker
The soldier upon his homecoming should be able to catch a critter and what a goddamn right. It's his goddamn right and what an abomination it would be. Maybe that's what they all set loose a bunch of like weasels and rabbits at the party and just let that little nut job go PTSD on those things.
00:15:10
Speaker
So I'm a big fan of Costco. But I've been doing this other Costco bit that I would bring up. I got my driver's license recently. I turned 26. My license expired. And my thing is downstairs. But the Costco card that I got, they take a picture of and they put it on the back. So on the back, all there is is your picture and a magnetic strip.
00:15:30
Speaker
So as I've been giving people my license, because it's a new state. I'm excited. I moved here. I showed my mom my South Carolina ID. And I said, oh, while I was there, I got the federal one. And I gave her the state driver's license. And then I gave her my Costco card. But with my picture of it basing her, and she was like, I have got to get one of these. Yeah, they're not going to let you fly, mom.
00:15:56
Speaker
When I heard magnetic strip, I now realize that you meant like to swipe it for something. But in my head, I was imagining like a little magnet that you put it like on your shirt, like how some name tags are with magnets instead of like a pin. So you swear your costume card, like on your shirt. And that's what they want you to do while you're there. So they know you're like a good boy. They know it's legit. Well, the bouncers, it just makes the job so much easier on them.
00:16:26
Speaker
I bet the soldier would hate that place because nobody's a stranger when they're walking around wearing their Costco badge on them. Bro, soldiers hate good customer service. They love Comcast. Like, Comcast is a favorite. First thing I'm doing when he gets up there in my home. They're like, five inches in my city? They prefer HEB.
00:16:51
Speaker
I feel like the Costco bouncers too have... Is that what the job title would be? It's probably Greeter or something. I remember Ship Identifier. Well that one's cool. It's definitely not Greeter. They would greet you with violence if you try to go in there with that unconsciousness.
00:17:26
Speaker
Can I come if I bring a girl
00:17:33
Speaker
I have beer. My last Costco joke is in Costco, one of the sections that they have, there is a jewelry section like any like Walmart or like Macy's would have.
00:17:48
Speaker
And I was looking at the jewelry and there's some really nice necklaces and they had a section of engagement rings. And I asked the girl that was working behind the counter if I had to buy like eight of them or if just one was hard. Like do I have to buy eight to get that price or are these not bulk? I think bulk engagement rings just as a preparation is probably better for some people because then you could just burn through your first couple.
00:18:18
Speaker
Yeah. Right. And you get extra points for it. You're like, Hey, will you marry me? And then she doesn't know that when she loses that thing, you have the ability to find it up to seven more times. Okay. That way. Okay. Let's not give it up to seven more girls. Yeah.
00:18:36
Speaker
Oh, well, no, ideally not, but it's like, I guess it's not good to have a backup plan if you're getting married either. All right. So you buy the eight rings just because the price is so good. And then to show your love and dedication, you throw away seven in front. Well, what if you like over the years, like each year you get her in like another one for one for each finger, go to can get it up to 10 or just cut off two over fingers. Well, I mean, you don't need one for your thumbs necessarily. That's a good point. The date.
00:19:05
Speaker
You make it like a Brady thing. Like Brady's got seven. Brady had- They can each have a different letter. They can say something across the fists. Fuck Utah. Beef. Fuck Utah. Fuck Utah. I'm married. Try to give me this soaking shit. I'm not doing it. I'm a Costco member, God damn it.
00:19:35
Speaker
Let's see what else we got. Cosco! Ex-relate your point! Ex-relate your point! Cosco! There's after Cosco, is that right? C-O-S-T. Yeah, I think so. Cosco? Yeah. Yeah. No, I think that's right. I was just thinking if I had any. Just add two more O's, I guess. Cosco!
00:20:04
Speaker
What's been going on with you guys? Not too much. The other day, I walked in to my grandma on the phone with one of her old friends, I guess. And he was like, he's like, I finally did it. I finally did it. I got the coon. I've been hunting. And she was like, what? And he was like, I shot him five times through the heart.
00:20:32
Speaker
with a 22. He's telling the story about this raccoon that was living in this attic, I guess. And he was saying, I thought this thing was a shape shifter, maybe. He was damn near indestructible. And I was just dying listening to this call on speakers.
00:20:50
Speaker
Yeah. Well, he said it was like damn, he thought it was damn near moral because he was, he was swearing by everything that he shot it three times through the heart and kept living. And then he was starting to, he was like, I heard the noise. I thought it was up in my attic and I climbed up and then right to my left, there was a raccoon like one foot away from me.
00:21:15
Speaker
and I pulled out my gun and I put it through the side of his face and I pulled the trigger and it just clicked and he took off. And then he said he was talking about how he's like, another had to go like about a $60 trap off the internet and I said it and then he got, and I heard it go off on that and I went and checked it, no raccoon. The raccoon got away and then he said he finally caught it in a cage and walked up and shot it three times in the head.
00:21:43
Speaker
He was so proud of it and happy. While it was in the cage? Yeah, that was the only... It was gonna catch the bullet in his mouth and spit it back at him if he tried to catch it out of the cage. Shave it into a... Melts at room temperature. It turns gallium. Escapes the cage. Yeah, so the only interesting update in my life is my grandma's friend's raccoon hunt.
00:22:13
Speaker
Wow. I'm thinking about if you were to say that in one sentence. If someone said, hey man, how have you been? And you're like, oh, good. My grandma's friend finally killed that raccoon. He's been shapeshifted in his yard or whatever. He's been shapeshifted in his yard or whatever. How you been, buddy? Have a good day. Have you ever had a- Did you know this guy? No, not really. I guess I knew him when I was a baby. He knows me. But he's too old. I don't know. I don't know. His conversation was on speakerphone.
00:22:43
Speaker
Yeah. I imagine if she had it up to her ear and he's like, Oh, at the old damn house to here, put this on speech. I finally got that fucking thing. Go wakey, you know. He was proud. Go wakey, you know.
00:23:05
Speaker
Was she like listening with it or were you guys like making eye contact? Like, what is he talking about? Or was she like... Oh man, I was just stepping down and laughing. And then she was never laughing too. He's funny. He's a funny guy. I wish I would have recorded it. I think I might have. Let's edit it. If I have it, we'll edit it anyway. I don't. I probably don't have it. Edit it exactly where you clapped. Clap here.
00:23:29
Speaker
But if we don't, you know, yeah, go ahead, it's something else. Yeah, if we don't, we'll do some, like, pro raccoon stuff. Because we could just spring the other way. Pro raccoon propaganda. What's been going on with you, Riley? Well, actually, some pro raccoon propaganda. Nothing really. I got stuck in the freezer today. It worked. That was pretty fun. Yeah. How did that happen? Walk me through that.
00:23:58
Speaker
Well, you see, I was in the freezer. And I was put in the way some french fries, as you do. You were at your job, right? Yeah, yeah, in a big like walking freezer. And yeah, I was back in like a little quarter, had like little cart or whatever full of stuff. And the lights turn off like automatically.
00:24:26
Speaker
Which is unfortunate, whatever you're back in the corner behind a cart full of things. So I wasn't really like stock stock, I guess. But I was back in the corner a little while. Back in the corner, we had to put cart in the dark. In the corner of the freezer, in the cart, in the dark. It's still like 60 degrees in there. That could have been your DJ Khaled moment.
00:24:51
Speaker
Oh, like on a jet ski? Yeah. I was on a jet ski. That could have also been why I was like, yes. You didn't say where you work. We can't say where Riley works, but it's indoor jet skis, into the walk-ins. Yeah, it's a walk-in freezer. Yeah, a walk-in freezer jet ski. Well, the water goes throughout. The water's boiling water. It's very, in the freezer. Yeah. The forces that work with each other, all the forces of nature, they're like,
00:25:25
Speaker
This is what HelloFresh is working on at their headquarters while they're like putting all those plastics and all those bags.
00:25:34
Speaker
Putting all that plastic in that food. I hope everyone has fun. Or wanted to be. There's something that's brought to you by Blu-ray. It's all about a fucking segue. But you escaped, and you were able to recover from that. Yeah, we did escape. You were still in that freezer right there. I also spilled grease all over myself. That was my favorite.
00:26:08
Speaker
Did you have time to clean yourself before the episode or are you still greased? No, he's still covered in greased. I'm still covered. I like it. It's kind of like a pregame ritual. That's been dirty.
00:26:25
Speaker
I may date ourselves when we were recording this, but the Eagles just won the NFC championship and they're going to the Super Bowl for the first time since 2018. Everyone's talking about how they have to grease the poles in Philadelphia so that the citizens don't climb them in celebration. I think a different place there. Well, it's actually, it's like a seasonal job, kind of. Like I had had a Christmas help at a retail store or something.
00:26:53
Speaker
Uh, anytime that like Philly is in any sort of championship or major game, uh, like utility workers will go out with the pole, like a painter pole full of grease. Yeah. And they dip it in there and it's, it's important. It's, it's actually real good experience for those kids.
00:27:14
Speaker
Underpaid, but, you know, that's not it. Would you call that skilled labor? But I had a bunch of stuff to talk about, skilled and unskilled labor. I figure we'll turn into it right now. Well, but what happened to that job is painting the poles in grease, and the other half is making all that goddamn bacon, you know? It's a lot that they gotta make to get all that grease. That's why I do my part for my city, and when I finish cooking my bacon, I give back to my food. You laugh.
00:27:46
Speaker
that way it gets to where it's supposed to go to the greasers but wait were you stuck inside of the the walk-in for any period of time or did it just get dark
00:28:06
Speaker
It was just done. Your story is like a dark prison. I had to get out. I had to get out of prison because I couldn't see anywhere. In the sense that I had to climb and push a little bit, I was stuck where it was so dark. We're stuck behind this death gray now and there's nothing we can do about it. What did I say? I'm stuck.
00:28:30
Speaker
You get stuck sometimes. Yeah. You got to turn the lights off before he has time to get upstairs. Yeah, you can get stuck anyway. I was stuck in the outside of the walk-in freezer on the outside.
00:28:54
Speaker
I also this week we had a work conference and after my work conference we went to Topgolf and my job had rented a couple bays and got food and drinks and I'm not a golfer.
00:29:09
Speaker
I don't think I look like a golfer. I think I'm a better partner to my wife than a golfer would ever be. And I'm comfortable with that. This is episode one. Expect golf rhetoric often. We've lost the entire golfer audience already. Episode one. Every show that we start, we like to just exclude one group at the beginning.
00:29:37
Speaker
And it's not if you like golf that you're excluded. It's if you're good at golf, you're excluded. And it mostly comes from jealousy because of how horrific I am. If you've never been to top golf, it's a driving range with a bunch of floors, basically. It's nothing crazy. And I don't look like a golfer. I mean, golf didn't give me these feminine hips. God did. She made me in her image.
00:30:08
Speaker
A man, brother. Oh, but... Then the hips of Christ don't lie. You used to say, hips of Christ. Then Christ just don't lie, right? He goes down to a V, you know what I mean? Like, he can't help it.
00:30:33
Speaker
It's a Catholic Christ. Oh, God. Yeah. Oh, you can feel his abs. Yeah. You can feel Hit Bones. Hit Bones explodes Christ. It's my favorite Christ. His loss is like a little bit too low. Wow. You can see a landing strip a little. There's a subreddit for this, definitely.
00:31:10
Speaker
Anyway, so I'm not I'm not a golfer and I go up there and you're supposed to hit them Out where the grass is and I kept I was I was almost smoking this lady golfing right next to me because mine were just shanking to the right
00:31:22
Speaker
I mean, Jesus of God. Jesus of his taste. Jesus of Tom Gutter. It's so funny.
00:31:29
Speaker
Oh, she's there with her boyfriend and he's just texting on his phone. The first time I did it, it flew by her and she just looked at me. And it was just like a forgiving look. She's like, oh, I'm terrible at this too. Watch me. And then she hit and she was horrific, but fortunately she was also hitting them right. So we were just passing the problem down the bay. But there's something about being at Topgolf and this is socially engineered that
00:31:56
Speaker
You'll notice geographically where these things are put. They're always right next to the highway. Do you know why that is? Chief real estate.
00:32:05
Speaker
They're getting cars. Exactly. It's to activate your killer instinct. You're thinking about how bad you want to T-bone somebody. This is your opportunity. So what people who are good at top golf will do is they'll blast them. They'll shoot them. They'll shoot at them so far. And some of them even look like they go over the net. And I just think the trick is that there's like a second net there has to be.
00:32:33
Speaker
The net's way further back than you think it is. The ball's way smaller than you think. If I hit it hard enough, go through net, probably. No. If I hit it so hard, it catches fire like in wheat. Like in wheat. Like if you're hitting a baseball so hard that it's like, I'm in the home run, but with golf. Yeah, when you explode a pigeon, like Randy Johnson. Yeah.
00:33:01
Speaker
That was awesome. I mean, a pigeon is a rigid body, you know? Pigeons get to explode. If the net were a fence, maybe. Pigeons got hit by a dragon. What if the net was made of pigeons? Pigeon net. You get a good old pigeon net. You replace the pigeons as they're taken out. And then it gives, like, another game to play. That would be like a pigeon wall, almost. Building line or dead. How do you? I'm in support.
00:33:33
Speaker
or to build a wall, a vision wall. Back to this fucking thing. We have a really fun show for everybody lined up. Chris Damaris of Rooster Teeth was nice enough to stop by and bullshit with us for
Casual Chat with Chris Damaris
00:33:49
Speaker
a second. We had talked to him a little bit. We emailed, we communicated, and most of those communications were about whether or whether or not we were going to be wearing swim trunks during the recording.
00:34:00
Speaker
I'll let you guys decide whether or whether or not that happened. Coming up next, Chris Damaris, but first...
00:34:15
Speaker
Hey. Good to see you. Hey, welcome. How are you? Ian, you're late. Ian. What the hell? We're 10 silver. That would work out the way I was supposed to. I had to learn to swim to be able to buy swim trunks. We wanted to try to set up something where we could reveal that all of us are wearing swim trunks. We didn't really have a great way to do that, but we want to welcome Chris Droustratif and we'd also want to know, we had emailed
00:34:44
Speaker
We coordinated, I'll say. And I had asked you to wear swim trunks, the result of whether or not you're wearing swim trunks is currently unknown. Yeah. Well, first, thanks for having me. And second, thanks for, you know, being the first interview that I've done that, that it was like, hey, be comfortable. Yeah. Both, you know, like conversationally and
00:35:11
Speaker
attire. Oh yeah. Now, I am curious because I've been trying to do some research. Are your swim trucks netted? Are they netted? Is there a net? Your Instagram?
00:35:30
Speaker
my instagram yeah it's hard just trying to find pictures of you in swim trunks and trying to be able to tell like you can't really it's hard to tell if there's a net under the swim trunks yeah yeah or if there's even a requirement of swim trunks in the first place well there's often a net for like genital holding yeah yeah i'm aware of the net um okay this i've not i'm not wearing a net i'm i'm raw dogging it um nice did you have to cut the net out or did you buy it like that
00:36:00
Speaker
You know, they do sell them without the net. They do. Not a target. Yeah, well, sometimes it costs extra to have it without the net, which is weird. You think, actually, it's less material. My limited research on whether they need the net or not was inconclusive, so I appreciate you delivering your findings to me. In terms of the net.
00:36:22
Speaker
I mean, growing up, I was very pro net. And, you know, wanting to stand from, you know, like exposure, you know, as a kid, you don't want your, you know,
00:36:39
Speaker
They're little little bits exposed right and I actually had an unfortunate experience where a friend was on a diving board And I was like kind of below and I think we were playing some sort of game where we're tossing a ball And I look up toss the ball and I saw his balls And I was like that's why you don't go without a net but now then as I got older You realized it was okay to see your friends balls. Well, no, no, I realize that if you it's a power play
00:37:06
Speaker
to show your balls to your friends. You look up at that diving board. God. Fritz, will you cut out my net right now? I will cut out your net right now. Man of wheeler. It is a power play. Yeah. Careful with the cutting. I generally better to cut when you're not wearing them, but yeah. That's true. Well, it can be nice to leave some of the net. If you cut while you're wearing them, then you can have just exactly your
00:37:37
Speaker
penis and vegetables free today. That's true. And then you create the illusion that you burst free of the net. Like you can't be like, Oh, like we caught this wild beast in this net. Oh, nevermind. Boom. He's this, this tiger's out. Yeah. If you only cut the hole for your genitals where they bursted through. Yeah. Yeah. I left the net. I kept the swim trunks. I've got like a sheer,
00:38:04
Speaker
Yeah, it's awesome. That's got the net that that's also that's that's bold. I like that Yeah, more like like swimsuit lingerie, you know, it's like Nothing but net it's like when it's not That's awesome
00:38:21
Speaker
That's really good. It's not a fully nude beach. They just want to be able to see your genitals through mesh. It's good for that type of occasion. Yeah. Chris, we invited you on to hang out with us and ask a couple questions. We're just going to start off by saying what we're drinking. I'm having a Heineken. My guys have coffee cups. I just want to let you know that is a deceit.
00:38:42
Speaker
There is no coffee, and I hear there are coffee cups. There is an energy drink, yeah, that's currently what we've poured into this, which is close enough. It's also not great for whatever time it is. Well, so that's interesting, because I was going to say coffee before bed, it's like, oh, you don't want the caffeine. But then you said, oh, it's not coffee, but it's energy drink, which is worse than coffee, as far as like- I was a protestor. Sorry, right. Yes, sir.
00:39:12
Speaker
The whole concept with the... Oh, mine? I just have a Heineken. I mean, that's not coffee this whole time?
00:39:40
Speaker
Well, I've just got tea with just
00:39:47
Speaker
A tiny little bit of rum. Okay, there you go. Good for you. That's top shelf stuff. I buy my rum at the Rite Aid, like I'm from the East Coast and I am. We have a couple questions prepared for you and we're going to cover some work stuff. I think you've worked on a lot of projects that we all think are awesome. I didn't know about Black Box Down until like last month somehow. So that's incredible. We're going to cover that. We're going to cover some of the work that you've done with Rooster Teeth over the last
00:40:17
Speaker
Nearly 12 years or something like that. I mean that's insane. I mean we have some way less important stuff to start with So we're gonna kick it off with I've got two questions one is a would you rather one isn't Which one would you like first?
00:40:35
Speaker
Oh, would you rather? I would rather, would you rather? You would rather, rather, would you rather? This other question is excellent though, and you're missing out by delaying the inevitable.
00:40:49
Speaker
Well, I like, I like to like, you know, edge. Yeah. And I like build up that attention. Edge and our buddies remotely a little bit around. All right. So we're going to do it with you rather. Um, I don't know which one of these, okay. Okay. But this is a really good one and you have to answer these, uh, honestly. Okay. Every time you miss a call for the rest of your life, you have to make a dog smoke a pack of cigarettes.
00:41:18
Speaker
Or, would you rather, twice per year, you have to impregnate an alien? Now here are the two pieces of context that I think are really important. Firstly, the alien is provided the dog is not. Okay. Well, does it, does the dog want to smoke the cigarettes? I'm like, enabling or am I?
00:41:45
Speaker
I don't know. That's a good question. If he's starting the dog's addiction on cigarettes, or if the dog had a cigarette before, and I'm the archivist of Ralph McGruff or something. Not very many dogs are 18 in adult years, so I'd probably be buying the cigarettes. I think it's reasonable to assume that the dog had no previous history smoking cigarettes. I think that comes implied with the question. These are dogs that are wet behind the ears, cigarette wise.
00:42:16
Speaker
And how much has the alien smoked? I would like that flirtation as well. And do they smoke like a cigarette after sex? Yeah, or a little after sex smoker. Well, here's the other part. And if you still want to smoke this thing up when you're done, that's fine. But here's just a piece of context I think that's important. This is not, it is an alien. It is not intelligent life.
00:42:39
Speaker
I feel like that. But it wants to have sex? No. No, it's like a... Chris, it's not about that. Well, it's also, it doesn't not when it has... Well, because I was all about alien sex until I found out that, you know, like, you know, I'm all about, you know, the consensual sexual experience. I'm going to have to give that dog some cigarettes. It's not that I...
00:43:04
Speaker
It's not intelligent enough to know. Yeah. You're not selling them on the alien right now. It doesn't, it's not, it doesn't have eyes or ears. So what you're just, what you're saying is I'm going to go to, I'm going to get some, like an alien, like
00:43:34
Speaker
plant yeah and have sex with it well how much does your answer change significantly if the alien is like to say 20 percent smarter than you are well if yeah i mean if if they're smarter then there can consent yeah yeah and they're and they're like into it then i'd say the alien okay even without having seen the alien rave they're not into it
00:43:58
Speaker
Okay, they're they signed up for this they this is part of They did a would you rather and this was their choice? But I think that's cool. That's coercing shine is that's awesome All right, let me let me add one more layer and I just I just want to see that you have to have to think about it It's no longer a carton of cigarettes. It's like, you know, like a wide pack of
00:44:22
Speaker
where it's got like all the cigarettes. It's like that eight cartons of cigarettes. I don't, I think so. I'm not a big smoker. Yeah. So, but yeah, you're not going to do it to your dog. So you're, you have to find a dog, the dog not provided. Yeah. And I get to pick the age of the, it could be like,
00:44:42
Speaker
All right. Yeah. Then maybe I'll do the dog and it'll be a dog that's like, you know, on its way out. And I'll be like, Hey, you know, have some, have some cigarettes. Like, you know, they'll give cigarettes to people right before, you know, like, uh, the end of the world. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, if you got them, you're about to be put down in an hour, smoke these. Yeah.
00:45:09
Speaker
I don't know. I don't buy it. I don't buy it. Am I the only one here that would impregnate that little plant thing? I like that you have like, there is a right or wrong answer. Yeah, you're the one selling it.
00:45:28
Speaker
Let's try this again. Let me give you one more. I'm going to make you wait on the excellent question that you passed over earlier. I want to increase suspense for it because it is beyond the leash. It's like a Sean Evans question. Would you rather every flight for the rest of your life you have to put a chastity cage on the pilot
00:45:51
Speaker
Uh, here's, here's an asterisk already. If it's a female pilot, you have to wear the chastity cage until the board. Or, or every time you see somewhere that sells soft pretzels, you have to beat one and every soft pretzel you eat. Uh, you forget all of your passwords to all of your online accounts.
00:46:18
Speaker
Only at the heart of I'm doing it in your passwords. Yeah, it's like not eat like you're you have an old phone number on some of the like Your Wells Fargo is like an old number on it. Well, I'm a question of the chastity thing. So yeah, shoot I mean like I wasn't planning on like, you know having sex on the plane, right? The pilot or myself or you know, so what how's that? Why are you flying JetBlue then?
00:46:49
Speaker
You're flying all wrong. Yeah. What are the miles for? I mean, I just don't, it doesn't seem like
00:47:00
Speaker
like a too big of an inconvenience, you know, the chastity belt thing, but also I like pretzels. So you might find like pleasure and resetting all your passwords. Perhaps you're a freak of that nature.
00:47:20
Speaker
It's like a little mystery that you have to solve every time you have Vigner. Every time I see a pretzel, am I aware of this? Can I avoid areas that have soft pretzels? I think so. Wait, wait, wait. So yes, but you have to... No, even better. I get to pick half the contacts from your phone and delete it. So you get the decision upfront whether or not
00:47:44
Speaker
Hold on, you get the decision up from whether or not you can avoid pretzels. But if you choose to avoid pretzels, I get to delete half the contacts from your home.
00:47:55
Speaker
I mean, that'd be okay. A lot of people I don't want to contact anyway. That's weird. Oh, okay. I like that this is just like fit as many factors onto a would you rather as possible to make it as complex as possible and fit as many would you rathers into one question. Yeah. We've only got it for half an hour, guys.
00:48:20
Speaker
I think that you're completely underthinking that and it would be such a nightmare to put in all your passwords again. And imagine if the, like, what if your life gets more complicated with age? You know, like you're thinking about your abilities now. How hard is it going to be to reset a password in your seventies?
00:48:39
Speaker
That's true, and it might be like hologram passwords Yeah, so I mean I guess I'll wear the chastity belt or You have to put it on the pilots. You don't wear it unless you have a female pilot They're in they're like into it
00:48:59
Speaker
They are not ending. No, I'm kidding. It'd be like a weird, like, boarding ritual. Like, all right, let's put on, you know, do our checklist. Do we have the chastity belt yet? No. You have to do it while I, while I've been...
00:49:15
Speaker
If your mother always just tells everyone to buckle up, you have to buckle up the, like, eyelids. Oh, that's it. So he wants the chastity belt on, but his thing is that he's going to be, like, bratty about it and he's going to, like, pretend, you know, whatever. And it's part of the on-flight boarding stuff. So they do, like, the airbags come down and they show you how to put it on. And then the entire
00:49:39
Speaker
You know, cabin has to watch you wrestle this chastity belt on the person who's about to fly this plane. I'm gonna do with the pretzels, I guess. Oh man, I'm not good at making them even. I mean, I like pretzels though. When you think of a soft pretzel, do you think of like an anti-ance?
00:50:05
Speaker
What is that? I'm thinking of like the pretzel you might get at, I don't know, like an event, like a movie or a sporting event. I don't really go to sporting events very often. So that's why I'm like, I think I can avoid malls and sporting events, you know? Yeah, that's a good point. And movies, I might just like close my eyes while I walk through the lobby.
00:50:35
Speaker
But if you see somebody next to you like in the theater ordered one and you glimpse over That might be a problem Yeah, right back into it and that's that's easy I don't like the pretzels at like a movie theater because I feel like the skin is leathered and rough like a working man. I
00:50:52
Speaker
There's a lot of value to like a mall pretzel where it's soft. You get like, you get like the cream cheese with it. You get the icing. That's too much. Yeah. That's what I'm picturing too. Those are completely different. Yeah. Well, yeah. So pretzel final answer.
00:51:13
Speaker
Very good. I think that's reasonable. I can't wait on this next one. You are in for a treat. All right. What separates... Wait, wait. I want to put my camera up to the screen. What separates the week from the chaff? Krista Maris, what separates the week from the chaff? The week from the what? The chaff.
00:51:41
Speaker
What separates the weak from the strong? What are your opinions on? I was thinking like, I was thinking briefing, like weak from the chafe. And I guess, yeah, weak from the chafe. I mean, I would say probably like, I don't know.
00:52:05
Speaker
So if that keeps you from chafing. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net. Net.
00:52:36
Speaker
And then we'll ask you some Rooster Teeth stuff. I feel like peanut butter, like it's got a lot of protein. People eat peanut butter, I feel like tend to be stronger. And they're like, that's like protein and like, you know, I don't know. You're god damn right. Oh, I had your dinner with Reese's Pieces. Exactly. I could tell by just like, yeah, exactly. Yeah. Peanut butter.
00:53:02
Speaker
That guy is game player all the time. Is there a difference between like, do you have to be crunchy or creamy? I don't think so. I think it's just like peanut butter. It's like, hey. Just all peanut butter. Someone who's got protein, they're strong. They don't even care if there's jelly on their peanut butter and jelly. Strong people didn't exist until George Washington Carver and the peanut butter. Yeah. Would you agree that creamy peanut butter sort of as like a
00:53:30
Speaker
like a classier air to it, whereas crunchy peanut butter is more of a punk vibe. I apologize. Yeah. I agree with that. It's like, I don't care if there's pieces of the nuts all up in it. Yeah, leave a nut or two of this, whatever.
00:53:49
Speaker
Yeah, my parents never loved me. Exactly. If you ever had anything to do with the nuts, it was a state nut. Yeah. Fuck any authority that demands the like chunks of nuts be separated from the cream of nuts. Yes. Punk as hell. Yeah. Crunchy peanut butter is punk. Yeah. I get it. You could show up to a show with crunchy peanut butter and also probably like relief fit in.
00:54:18
Speaker
Uh-huh. Yeah, you could be like the crunchy peanut butter guy. Yeah! Are you kidding me, man? Let me get in there.
00:54:28
Speaker
Yeah. Show up with your net only swimsuit with your chunky peanut butter and you rock out. Chunky peanut butter. Oh. Would you take, here's an opportunity. You're at a show, you're standing, the opening band is horrible. You're looking for salvation in every corner of the room and you see a man with a jar of peanut butter approach. He's offering the dip of your, the dip of the tip of the bottle of beer your whole thing.
00:55:00
Speaker
Yeah, he like dips it on top like takes it in like I Mean it like it leaves you a coating and then you have a little bit to like lick on But then it could just seems polite to me. I don't know what else you I'm gonna do it Yeah, I mean in that circumstance. I don't know you wouldn't it's polite
00:55:21
Speaker
Yeah, good. I think so too, as long as it were crunchy. Get that creamy stuff out of here. Yeah, you wouldn't be at a punk show with creamy peanut butter, obviously. No, they're swifty. Yeah, they don't have that up here or more. They bust out the fire hose.
00:55:44
Speaker
We have a lot of pressure you do against the wall. And you had looked, we had done a little bit of research for the show. And Chris, I just want to say that we are legitimately big fans of your work. We're huge Rooster Teeth people. I think that when a lot of people say Rooster Teeth, you have to be one of the first names that people think of. I don't know how that feels for you.
00:56:11
Speaker
Whether that's good or bad, but that's probably decent. I think I had told a couple of my friends, just some of the guests that we're having on. I went to this list of five or six people and almost every one of them stopped me at you. So I think that that's a pretty good sign. You're like the A-lister.
00:56:30
Speaker
Well, that's nice of you to say to me, but I also feel like it's insulting your other guests. Yeah. When you see my other guests, are you kidding me?
00:56:44
Speaker
We got you and we got, you know, Badlands Chugs. We got him. He does those spray cranberry chugs. He's actually an exceptional performance athlete if we really want to talk about it. Well, we had discussed a couple different topics to bring up. Ian had brought up how on a couple of years ago, the Booster Teeth podcast, you guys did a segment called A Spot of Science with Sally LaPage. It was a joint show, correct? Oh, was it a joint show?
00:57:13
Speaker
Yeah, we did like a little like mini series of it where we did like I think it was like six episodes like a little short little like Maybe five-minute type. Yeah. Yeah, I was I really like I really enjoyed those Yeah, I like when she was just like salary page came on the actual podcast and just her dynamic with you guys But um, I just thought I thought it might be funny to uh
00:57:38
Speaker
so basically the segment like the way that show worked and correct me if i'm wrong is like you get uh questions from the audience and they would be asked to you first and you would try to answer them for the best of your ability and then you get a more scientific answer from someone who's a biologist i believe she is um yeah yeah i know i think she's got she's very well educated yeah yeah probably take all of her education
00:58:06
Speaker
And it would be like the same as if you took like half the employees of the company all added up.
00:58:12
Speaker
Right, 100%. Well, I thought it would be funny. I went back and I found some questions that you answered and that I know that you've at least heard the answer to from her explaining it. Just see how good your retention is. It's stuff that we can prove that you've at least heard the answer to. Stuff I should know.
00:58:37
Speaker
In theory shouldn't though either it's it's also I also kind of want Morgan probably to answer them as well Just so you don't feel it's like if you don't remember them You can feel okay because I'm sure Morgan won't know some answers as well All right. Well, it's all right. Well, I'm pop quiz
00:58:54
Speaker
Yeah. And if you want to hear, I also am just going to go off of my memory of what Sally, and I just re-watched them recently, but what she said the correct answer is, if you want to hear it explained way more intelligently, I'm sure you can go back and watch the spot of science. All right. So the first question is, why do you get the feeling you're about to fall when you're falling asleep?
00:59:22
Speaker
That was one of the questions that was asked. I remember that. I don't. I also. That was a long time ago. I understand. I get the feeling. I think it's like.
00:59:39
Speaker
Is it like you're, you're, uh, it's either you're something in your, your inner ear equilibrium, maybe, or, or maybe like your, uh, subconscious, like. Lipping into like a dream or something like, uh, to, to, it's a different state and it like creates. Yeah. You're falling. It feels like you're falling into a state of consciousness.
01:00:05
Speaker
Yeah. All right. Morgan, do you have, I'll see what Morgan can answer this as well. Oh yeah. No, I'm going to nail these. I'm ready. Yeah. Why do you, why do you get the feeling you're about to fall when you're falling asleep occasionally? Like some people, many people do.
01:00:23
Speaker
because you're sleeping too fast. Yeah, you're like, you're rushing through it. Okay, now you're just trying to like, you know, you go to bed and you're like, you're, it's the end of the night. So you set the timer and you're like, I fall asleep right now. I'll wake up at, I'll get eight hours of sleep and I'll wake up at this time. Uh, but you're sleeping too fast. If you just slow the hell down, you'll be fine.
01:00:47
Speaker
Okay. All right. Well, I'll say both of you were wrong, but Chris, I believe that kind of like falling into a separate thing of consciousness was also your guess on that episode. It's funny that you didn't hear her correction. Hey, I'm consistent.
01:01:02
Speaker
I guess the correct answer was to basically explain that it's your muscles are just like fully relaxed and the only time that your muscles should be fully relaxed, your body thinks that you're falling because the only time you're like, or it's like when they start to brace for a fall and that's what like jolts you awake, but just because your muscles are fully relaxed that your body just basically gets confused.
01:01:30
Speaker
What was it? Can your muscles be completely relaxed while you're awake or is that exclusive to when your anxiety is sleeping?
01:01:43
Speaker
Maybe Chris can call Sally. I forgot that you don't know anything. I don't know anything. None of us are informed on me. How many did you have? I have three total. We can stop before you want. Let's do all three. We'll rent them.
01:02:05
Speaker
Okay, so there is a beetle, I believe it's called the Bombadier beetle, that spits acid that's like in like a hundred degree temperature, it's like a hundred and something. See, I'm also, these aren't going to be super accurate. But somebody's question was, why doesn't the acid inside of its body burn like off its legs when it shoots the acid? It's like boiling hot. Why doesn't it burn through its own body, basically?
01:02:34
Speaker
I also remember this, but also don't. Yeah, you remember the question. Is it, okay. Is it that the spit has a chemical reaction when exposed to the air and it heats it like that creates, makes it hotter when it comes out or it's got some sort of like the lining of its stomach and whatnot is,
01:03:11
Speaker
It doesn't dissolve through, it has a higher melting point than whatever the acid or whatever it's at. Like a really strong stomach in other words. Yeah, right. Okay. That is a good, does it have like, when it hits the air, was like you're the first part of your answer. Yeah, those are my two kind of guesses. Okay. Morgan, do you have a guess on why the bombardier beetle doesn't burn itself with its own acid?
01:03:27
Speaker
Almost like a...
01:03:36
Speaker
I do. And I want to say that I would love to see this dialogue written from like a court stenographer. My Chris's answer is really funny. Written out. You know how sometimes when you microwave something, it will have you keep the lid on, but sometimes you take the lid off? Well, my answer is that whatever the variable that determines whether or not you take the lid off is the same variable.
01:04:06
Speaker
Final answer. I don't know what that answer. Oh, I did. I used it to it. Is that not an answer? I think that makes sense. The reason that your Marie calendar pie needs to be covered or not covered is the same reason that your venomous potent toxicity is fine inside you. And then you let it out and it's okay.
01:04:33
Speaker
Well, okay, that could be pretty good. All right. Well, I don't face is not on I'm just upset that you you beat me Well, I don't know if that's I think Chris is pretty close with when it touches the cat meowing I think Chris is close for that when it touches the air so it's basically
01:04:55
Speaker
the chemicals that cause it to get that hot are stored in separate places inside of its body and then when they when it spits it all out they connect and instantly and they usually go further than like it shoots it at a distance and can aim it's like abdomen to spit it and it avoids its own body it was like a combination of that
01:05:15
Speaker
And it kind of works like an engine in that it spits out super hot, the liquid's super hot, and then also like a cooling agent, basically, so that its own body temperature never gets too high in any way. It was a complex answer. I didn't necessarily expect you to remember it perfectly. That's so cool. Beatles time. I think you were close. When it exits the body, that's when it activates. It's not at the same temperature inside of the Beatles body.
01:05:44
Speaker
Yeah, we were wondering whether or not like the eyes would roll to the back of your head I can see you as one of those types, which is like perfect photographic memory Yeah, you would feel like I Recalling that if we could give you the exact date and you could um, right we just have to tell you like whether or not the Texans won that day and then you You would know
01:06:06
Speaker
So this was a little small one for us. Uh, why do dogs walk in circles on the girl? Like when they're about to lay down or in, uh, when they're about to sit down. Okay.
01:06:27
Speaker
they're either nesting or they're like, you know, patting the ground down to kind of create a little nest. Or is it about like figuring out what direction is like, like the, the, the.
01:06:43
Speaker
sun's at or something like trying to get their directional bearings so they have to face. So laying the indoors when they're going to bed in like a doggy bed and they're spinning around. Do they know the direction of the sun? Maybe. I don't know. That would be a breath of I don't understand how like birds know which direction to fly if they're like at the equator. You know what I mean? Like how do they know? Like I greeting some sort of like, yeah, like trying to figure out where they are in relation to the sun and or the exit. I don't know.
01:07:13
Speaker
Yeah, they can pick up on frequencies that we can't even done magnetic fields. Morgan, do you have a guess for this? I do. And mine is another analogy. I remember Sally Page being very analogous. I feel like the answer to this is the answer to something else as well. Here it is. You know how it's easier to fall asleep after you drink a beer?
01:07:39
Speaker
Right. Yeah. That's what happens when a dog takes a couple of spins on the way home. That's all you're doing. You're getting dizzy so that you fall asleep faster and it's a trip. My family that uses that. They're getting the spins. Okay. If they do it enough, they just black out and don't remember their actions from the previous night.
01:08:09
Speaker
Uh, so the correct answer I guess is, um, I guess, uh, is that they're used to like, uh, through evolution, like they're used to living in tall grass. So they've flattened down the grass. And it was also like, uh, a lot of the conversation was based around, um, where like, why dogs sniff around and have to choose where they poop.
01:08:34
Speaker
and it was a bit like that was also another reason like territorially they just wanted to make sure their poop could be seen in the tall grass so they would look around in circles and stomp it down so the nesting you're yeah i think you probably you did a point that was we're getting out but giving out points which sure was really good wait
01:08:51
Speaker
Did either of us get a point on the first two questions? Chris is up one point to my zero points. He's got two. I think he's got two because I'd say the Bombardier beetle. Yeah, the beetle one counts. I don't think half. That's a half. He takes half. I don't think half. He gets one and a half points. Well, how many points do I have? Where do you think you get half from this one?
01:09:10
Speaker
Yeah. None. Oh. Humiliating in front of a Chris. You could have told me that after the show. Chris has heard all of these answers before to be fair.
Creating Social Disorder
01:09:23
Speaker
Chris, we want to talk about some of the Rooster Teeth stuff that you've been involved with and have helped to create over the years.
01:09:32
Speaker
There are a couple different shows that we just have different questions about. Social disorder, I think, was such an ahead of its time show, which is funny to say about something from 2014, but I think it's true. I feel like you guys just did such a good job. In social disorder,
01:09:51
Speaker
Sorry, there's a I have a cap He's been in it's a lot climbing around you He wasn't there this cat is also he's like Morgan like in my room in the best and I had to live with this cat and it was a Danger and a menace like every day. I was scared this cat could kill us at any minute. This is a panther
01:10:20
Speaker
Let's get it keeps in your toes. Yeah, he keeps you on your toes for sure He's it was like his conscious choice to keep us alive this cat like he could have killed us at any minute That's kathyu kind of short for kathyu is mad as short for matthew. It is as I always say uh, so social disorder for those unaware of chris's previous work is a live-action ed and camera show, uh
01:10:46
Speaker
And I didn't know, but according to one of the fandom Wikipedia's, a network ordered a pilot and didn't end up picking up. I was hoping you could talk to us about what that process was like. Uh, yeah. Um, I mean, it, it was, uh, it was fun. I mean.
01:11:06
Speaker
This is like working with another development company and another kind of production company and collaborating on what a TV version of the show would be like. Let's go back. So start to finish, at what point were you able to pitch to a network? Was it before or after it aired online?
01:11:31
Speaker
Oh, this was after we finished the because we did two seasons of it and then and then I remember we had a conversation and we're like, oh, I feel like we're good for now. You're busy with other projects. I think we're good.
01:11:46
Speaker
We're happy with like what we did with the show and weren't planning on making any more, at least in this format. And we're like, we'd be able to do it, you know, again, doing more like on TV and things like that. And that that ended up, you know, at least getting the opportunity to do a pilot for it. And it was right. And, you know, like many like most pilots, nothing comes from that. But yeah, like, you know,
01:12:16
Speaker
good experience and a lot of fun. Are you allowed to say the network? I don't know if I am, so I'll just not. That's completely fair. We're just going to bleep in like TruDB. Was that decision process long? I've never pitched a show. I barely finished high school. When you pitch a show, how long until you know?
01:12:44
Speaker
Like what they get the pilot, they review it or you edit the pilot, send it over and the executive team makes a decision from there. Yeah. I mean, it was honestly like a little, cause it was weird. We were working with other, I think it varies depending upon the situation we were working. There was like a couple of layers to this. So, uh, but.
01:13:07
Speaker
Uh, yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, it's like, we, we didn't even finish like, I would say the post for the thing. Uh, but they were like, you know, making, because they didn't, like a lot of pilots don't go all the way through like coloring and, uh, things like that because, well, they don't air inherently. And a lot of even shows we'll make a pilot and then they'll reshoot a pilot for, uh, actual airing. So, um.
01:13:37
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know. I think it very I've only I've only done the one so I'll let you know that Yeah, keep me in touch. I think it's funny that like that Like i'm trying to think of a show that Would have benefited like if if you could have colored correct and everything then it would have gotten kicked up and otherwise it wouldn't know because i'll tell you wizard of aus was fucking Amazing the colored version
01:14:03
Speaker
I thought they made big leaps and bounds. I don't know if I saw the black and white. I would agree to let it and I know it was it was gonna be a bit I just want to be honest with it. Do you guys think that you would have made more social distortion or was the show it's sort of a natural end at that point?
01:14:21
Speaker
Oh, we'd already decided at prior to doing a pilot that we're happy at the time with the show as we, I mean, the last episode was me and my 10 year high school reunion. I was like, okay. So a good one to end on. And they were like, we're not opposed to making more, but like for now we're, we're like happy with it. You know?
01:14:47
Speaker
Yeah, I like if I feel happy with where something's at and it's uh, I like to You know in things before You're tired of it, you know, yeah for sure Yeah, no, I mean Well, do you have any advice for Fritz because he's got a girlfriend upstairs that he has just been oh my god dragging on I just feel like you should end that
01:15:13
Speaker
Yeah, no no I mean that's it I've been there You know if you want to bring her down we could do to take care of this right now I can kind of mediate I mean I could bring her down if you want, but I mean it's really your call not mine She's not a very intelligent life form so I don't know that she would pick up on it
01:15:38
Speaker
Is he got her pregnant and then it's like you have to marry her at that point but Who's gonna kill a dog with cigarettes? He's from America she's from outer space it's just sort of a thing we're cross lovers I'll tell you man. Can she drink? I don't know if you knows I don't know if you know anybody from space but I feel like
01:16:04
Speaker
Every person I've ever met from space is a Medello drinker. Doesn't that sound right? I mean, I like, I drink Medello. There's nothing against Medello. I just, I just feel like. Oh, yeah. I knew you can try the Medello. I felt like that's a Texas thing.
01:16:24
Speaker
We can get distribution on Medel. I'm in South Carolina and our South Carolina markets are filled with like some of the grossest like Asheville IPAs. I'm a Coors Light guy as of recent, which is not great historically, but I got to say as an underway guy, and Chris, I'll tell you, these swim trunks are a size 26 waist. I got sort of a little belly than I'm working on.
01:16:54
Speaker
Well, that's good. Yeah, that's what Coerce will do. I drink Coerce a lot in college. That was like my... When I drink Coerce, I'm like, in college. Yeah, it's a college. It's a drink and drink and calling for college. So what's a 26 year old's beer? What were you drinking at 26? I drink Shiner. I drink Shiner then. That was my Shiner phase. Shiner. Next year is going to be my Shiner phase. I'm 25 right now. Good suggestion. I appreciate it.
01:17:24
Speaker
Chris, you do a podcast called Black Box Down with Gus Arola. Black Box Down for those uninitiated is a true crime podcast in the air. I actually think it's one of the most unique pods in the market. Oh, thank you. No clue about that podcast until a couple of weeks ago. How fucking awesome is that?
01:17:46
Speaker
My question for you about the show, just specifically, and I'd love for you to talk generally about it, is when you fly, does all of this extra information you have about flight disasters help you to feel safer, or does it hurt you and make you feel more vulnerable?
01:18:03
Speaker
I think it helps. I really do think a lot of people and people have said this who listen to the show, they said that it's helped them overcome a fear of flying because really it is a show about, you know,
01:18:20
Speaker
planes crashing often, right? That's, I mean, that's a typical episode covers like a plane, an incident happening with a plane and then detailing like what had the investigation and what they found. Then it ends on a really, like what they changed, what the airline industry changed to make flying safer and why these things don't happen again. And
01:18:43
Speaker
It really like you really kind of get to understand like at this Stage like that. There's so many safeguards for flying and and backups of backups that It really is a very safe. Yeah, I think it kind of reassures you could you know, if you just
01:19:06
Speaker
If you don't fly often and you watch movies, then you just assume planes crash like 50% of the time. But I mean, they're really safe. So yeah.
01:19:18
Speaker
I think it generally does make you, makes me, and I think if you listen to it, makes you feel better about thought. Yeah, I've listened to it a bit, and I think I listened to it before I had ever actually taken a bit on a plane, even. Oh, wow.
Exploring Air Safety and 'Black Box Down'
01:19:33
Speaker
And I also, I definitely agree with, like, it kind of learning about, like, air disasters just really shows you, like, how much self-correcting and, like, trial and error, like, it's fine, like,
01:19:46
Speaker
There's so much like detail that goes into like figuring out what went wrong and how to prevent it from happening again and just like understanding the actuality of the statistics of how rare some of these events are definitely does like yeah, I think it I think it made me probably I think I had felt safer on the flight having listened the black box down And if you want to do the black box down challenge you can listen to it on the flight. Yeah, there you go
01:20:13
Speaker
Oh, wow. That's got to be horrific. Play it really loud for the people around you to just hear about like a bunch of technical terms about like what goes wrong in airplanes. Sorry guys, I forgot my headphones. I'm not bad on this. I like the show. I truthfully, I'm such a big relationship guy and I had no clue about it. Just maybe even like two months ago, I wasn't aware of the
01:20:41
Speaker
Program it's super informative. You guys are excellent on the show Were you interested in you guys might have answered this in later episodes? You have to forgive me. I'm uninitiated very new listener was this something that you and Gus shared as an interest together or was this just an opportunity that Kind of came up. Well Gus it's had been working on the show and when I heard about it
01:21:08
Speaker
I remember telling him, that's a really good idea. Joe, I think that's a great concept for a show. And then later on, when he was looking for a co-host, I was like, oh, I told him.
01:21:25
Speaker
No pressure. I would love to be involved. I think it's a great idea. I think it's amazing. I just think it's great. And that worked out for me because I got to be a part of a really cool show. Yeah. And I didn't really know anything about planes. And I think that I tried to approach the show like that for where I just try to ask questions that
01:21:52
Speaker
someone who doesn't know anything about flying or doesn't know about the industry as much would ask, just so it feels accessible. And even still, now that I know more, I still try and ask the things that
01:22:13
Speaker
I think that people might want to, you know, would know. Yeah. And that makes sense. I don't know that much. You're sort of by default in the plane crash business. Is that a business? I guess it is. I guess it is a business. There's people who investigate past this. Yeah.
01:22:34
Speaker
Yeah, there's people who test the planes and you know, I can't yet. It's a little dark to pick a powerful. Yeah. I mean, you could also, I'm in the business of a plane safety. You're the plane safety business. I'm, you know, involved with the education of how safe planes are. No, that's true. Yeah.
01:23:02
Speaker
I think you do a really good job at like being yeah that voice of like asking the questions because you I think usually Gus has Like the stats or like the facts about the incident I'm more like in front of them than you do is seem to and you're really good at like asking the questions and I think the listener Like we would be would be wondering and I think it yeah
01:23:26
Speaker
We would love to keep you all night, but I would love for you to get back to, I forget what you said you were thinking. Get me going tonight. I want you to get back to painting. Not artistically. Not artistically. No, no, no. You could make it artistically.
01:23:41
Speaker
Well, he was telling us right before we started filming that one of his hobbies is to paint plane crashes that haven't happened yet to see if maybe he can- Can you contact him for the show? An episode of the Twilight Zone or Goosebumps? No, not Goosebumps.
01:23:59
Speaker
What is that Netflix show with like the Black Mirror? Black Mirror. It's like a Black Mirror. Black Mirror box down or something. Black Mirror box down. That's good. That's a shirt that you can call. You guys can make that. It's hanging in the JetBlue terminal at Logan International Airport. That shirt right now. There's one available to purchase.
01:24:21
Speaker
Chris, we're so grateful for you to come on here and be on our awkward little show tonight. We want to give you the opportunity. If people who aren't aware of Chris or maybe haven't followed Rooster Teeth for a little bit want to check you out, what are you most passionate about right now?
Chris's Projects and Social Media
01:24:38
Speaker
What can we send people to?
01:24:41
Speaker
Well, on social media, you just act Chris Damaris, and that's spelled D-M-A-R-A-I-S, on Instagram, TikTok, Twitter, all that. But in terms of things I'm working on that I'm excited about, we started a new brand called Squad Team Force, STF. And so we make a lot of short form, fun sketches and content. We're streaming.
01:25:09
Speaker
just about every other day and then um also Black Box Down and uh Tailstorm of Stinky Dragon which is my one of my favorite things to make it's a uh D&D podcast uh we also with Gus Serola from Black Box Down uh Scott uh Barbara Dunkelman um from
01:25:29
Speaker
Ruby and I mean but Blaine Blaine Gibson John Rax and you're just like friends playing D&D and having a lot of fun if you don't know what D&D is and Aren't familiar. You don't need to because it's very approachable and it's original soundtrack It's full soundscape with like sound design the very immersive And we even got puppets
01:25:52
Speaker
We're in the puppet biz now. We've been taking our favorite scenes from the show and shooting really cinematic puppet videos, reenacting the scenes from Tales from Stinky Dragon. They're super fun. They're really fun to do. If you ever was like, oh, he'll be into puppets at some point, I'd be like, no.
01:26:22
Speaker
I'm into puppets now. It's Tales from Stinky Dragon anywhere. Just search for that. Anywhere you listen to podcasts and the puppet videos, you can just look for our social media at Stinky Dragon Pod on TikTok, Twitter, Instagram. Yeah. Very, very cute puppets.
01:26:46
Speaker
Link to the puppets and all the content associated will be in the description of the clip and podcast.
01:26:54
Speaker
Chris, I want to thank you for coming out. We have Maroon 5 coming on next. Oh, wow. But to hold them off a second, Riley's upstairs with Adam right now to hold you off for a second. We like to do something on this show. We've got sort of a seg hit that we send people off with, and we hope for your participation. I'm going to email you directly after our session with all the finalizing details of everything we did today. But we tried to...
01:27:24
Speaker
I guess you'll see what we're doing. Guys, are you guys ready? It's time to leave on bad terms. Oh my. We're leaving on horrific terms here. While it's been fantastic to talk with you, we have to hope that you feel differently about that. So my friend, we're going to give you 30 seconds, and I'd like you to fill as much of it as you can. You can track it on the recording software.
01:27:54
Speaker
to just be horrifically and unnecessarily not nice to us. After the 30 seconds, if you could just hang up on the call, that would be really funny. Really funny. So let's leave on bad turns.
01:28:13
Speaker
All right. Well, Morgan, I think you might want to have sex with an alien. Oh, I'm real. I think you're projecting. And, you know, I wasn't going to judge, but, you know, you really just you made it impossible not to judge. Yeah. And in inference,
01:28:41
Speaker
I mean, I'm just, I'm surprised. I don't know if I believe that you have a girlfriend upstairs. I'm just gonna put that out there. Okay, he wants proof. Calling you a liar, I think, Christopher. And I think it's a good front to say, oh, you're trying to break up with her when she doesn't exist.
01:29:10
Speaker
I asked for a roast leather therapy session. He's about to cry. You're going to surprise him how right you are. Just to also bash you on him a little. I'm in bad terms with him as well. You're absolutely right. He doesn't have a fucking girlfriend. Ian, it was a pleasure. Hey, it was a pleasure. Absolutely. Happy to have you, big fan. I need to hope to listen to many more podcasts with you.
01:29:40
Speaker
Yeah. Morgan, yeah, your girlfriend left you for good reasons. Yeah. And let me know when you get your own school. Without these guys? Yeah, yeah. Oh, I will. Chris, without which guys? You got to cut the net and let it hang on your own. That's going to be the vain theme of the podcast. You don't need this bet.
01:30:03
Speaker
Don't need the net that's Thank you so much. My new podcast is gonna be called a black mirror box down Yeah
01:30:25
Speaker
We wanna welcome you back from that break. We hope you enjoyed Chris as well as the Beanie Baby. Both took a lot of time out of their schedules to be here, so if you could show them some love in the comments equally but qualitatively, that would be appreciated. We're doing a segment today called The Drawing Board.
Relationships and Forgetfulness
01:30:43
Speaker
In this segment, we scour the internet for people in need and give unsolicited advice to people whose problems are probably solved by now.
01:30:52
Speaker
but we're not here to just answer questions. And then you guys, this is what we're gonna do sort of like in the future, but just since this is the pilot, right? This is the pilot of our podcast, right? So when I say this next part, I'm gonna say, but we're not just here to answer questions. I want you guys to say, no, no, no, and then I'll keep going. Okay. But we're not just here to answer questions. No, no, no.
01:31:19
Speaker
We assume the identity of our anonymous askers and seek advice on their behalf. Uh, we have some fun questions today. The title of our first question is my girlfriend keeps forgetting my name. Let's give a fake name for this anonymous asker. Yeah. What was your ex's name? Both.
01:31:48
Speaker
He said I absolutely forgot. I said, what is your ex's name? He forgot, he wouldn't say anything. Alright, what do we, what do we think? Bone. Podridge. Podridge. Podridge. P-O-D-R-I-D-G-E. You're goddamn right. Where in the world is that from? Vorda. Yeah.
01:32:14
Speaker
Jackson. They're all going to gin and pear tree. That's what they say. Paula. I already forget the first day of Christmas. Podridge from Pensacola, Florida.
01:32:27
Speaker
Podrick's from Pensacola, you're live. As said in the title, my girlfriend has a nickname for me, but sometimes calls me by my first name, which is a very easy to remember name. Think John, think Bob. Think Podrick. Well, that is obviously, she can't. She's doing her goddamn best. Either or, Podrick.
01:32:52
Speaker
However, over the four months we have been together, see each other constantly, she calls me similar names without knowing it's not my name. She doesn't just not call me by my name. She calls me similar names thinking she's fucking nailed it.
01:33:07
Speaker
I correct her, tell her it's disrespectful, and the same process repeats itself. She's very serious about her relationship, and I really like her, but I don't know if she knows my fucking name. Side note, this is a little sidebar side info. She is on antidepressants.
01:33:27
Speaker
That's a little detail. I don't know of any of the presents which came from your partner's name. Should I continue the relationship or just to get over this? It seems like the same option, by the way. She's calling him a pet name and so much so that she forgot his rowan. No, she's not calling him a pet name. If his name is John, she's calling him Josh and having no clue that she did it wrong.
01:33:54
Speaker
But she, but the needs didn't start with like, she calls me a nickname. She has a nickname for me, but sometimes calls me by my first name. And when she calls him by her first name, she's wrong about it. Is that the only, if it's only that like, does she not have a memory issue in other places? Yeah. And it's better than it's like, truly she just does not care about what
01:34:22
Speaker
What are the chances this is the only category of info that she can't maintain? How forgetful do you have to be to be a bad partner? Like if she is forgetful, is that okay to end something on or is that ableist? Because it's like ADHD people deserve love too. Yeah, but most people that have ADHD can remember coverage. I don't know. Wait, wait, wait, wait. This is good. Can I, you know,
01:34:53
Speaker
When I came up with Podridge, then you could roll back the footage if you want, then I'd say that I come up with the name Podridge, and then I'd go, and then it's put, what was his name? So it just shows this perfectly, that I forgot Podridge instantly before even knowing it was about its girlfriend predicting the name. So, uh, I don't know. This would be like a good American variant of like love on the spectrum, where instead of autism, there are people who just like,
01:35:24
Speaker
you know, get really overwhelmed pretty easily. Which I actually think is just as interesting of a TV show, but it's just too normal.
01:35:32
Speaker
It's all, you know, I feel like they're just so with the Venn diagrams that we're left. So much, you know, yes. So here's the thing. I mean, just people who are just people saying like highly sensitive people as well. I'd like to see more of a collab show. Like can we do like Love Island X Love on the Spectrum? Well, on the spectrum on an island. Oh, it's blind.
01:36:01
Speaker
Well, this picture of an island is blind. It's a bunch of gay, autistic, blind people on an island. So it can be about, like, it's truly about knowing somebody else's soul. And then also, that was like a dangerous place because their personality. You could do like, you guys know how love is blind works. And love is blind. That's like the one where they're like stuck in a room, right?
01:36:32
Speaker
Well, they're stuck in, yeah, they're stuck in separate rooms. The men are all together and can hang out in a common area and the women can hang out in a common area. And then they go on like speed dates, almost like 10 minutes, but they're, they don't know who they're talking to really. And they can't see them. You just have to talk like through the wall. Yeah. So we could do like, uh, you could do like two.
01:36:59
Speaker
I guess what the ADHD version of Love is Blind would be is just two people texting, like two people on their phone and separate room. Yeah, both of them would put their phone down and forget about it for six hours to do something else. Or they wouldn't forget about it. They would get the text and then just be like, oh, I'm not ready to reply to that yet. Yeah, I'll reply to that here in a second. Anyway, and then they'd just never get back to it. I think, so let's cover from the top down.
01:37:26
Speaker
I can handle if my new girlfriend calls me the wrong name in about anything but the bedroom. Where this is happening matters a lot. Is that normal? Location, location, location, yeah. If it's in the bedroom, but it's not like the name of an ex, is that still taken harshly or is that just fine?
01:37:55
Speaker
But he didn't. Yeah, I mean, if it's early in the relationship and common. Although she they really often call it like. Oh, it's crazy if it keeps happening. Yeah, to the really. Yeah, I'm not flipping. How often do you get called by your name anyway? Yeah, it freaks me out. I like.
01:38:21
Speaker
Well, you have a hard time accepting love and attention. Right. Yeah. Yeah, you don't let people get too close to you and you deflect really, really quickly. Sometimes with humor, but sometimes... There's sometimes really extent...
01:38:40
Speaker
that it's like, um, disassociative and you know it's a disassociative and I know it's a disassociative, but we don't have to say it or talk about it. Oh, the five guys. It's really funny that during that whole time, you're like buffering made it so that you were just like a single blurry frame, like unintelligible. That's because you can't accept love. Like you're unintelligible.
01:39:11
Speaker
i'm an angel god yeah you were like a being really like it's gonna look fine and then like finished at it but uh yeah for us you definitely look like a specter a place they should have won background jerry
01:39:33
Speaker
Man, that's so funny. So if I were in a situation, I would probably break and flip out. I've never yelled at a woman or even an animal. And I've been mad at women and animals at so many points in my life, not once have I raised my voice at either. Because firstly, there's no point, but also, what does it do?
01:39:59
Speaker
but I would flip out and I'd be like, okay, let's... It's been... Wait, it's second of all, isn't it? How long... You live with me. You know, like, how long... Four months, I guess you don't live together normally at four months. Even though me and my girlfriend live together at four months. I don't know how you put up with that at all. How do you not go insane at... Just like, you're...
01:40:27
Speaker
You're fixing her a cup of coffee and you know how she likes it. You know, you put her sugars and everything and she just gives you like, thanks Josh. It's so casual. How are you not like cracking under that pressure? Try the jealousy thing. It's like, what is wrong with you? Yeah. I forgot how this is like, it's a fog bird. Fog bird. What was it?
01:40:56
Speaker
Pritchard? Piedridge? Piedridge? Pritchard? Pritchard, he says. I said Pritchard. Who's wrong with you? Listen, so what we're trying to say is like, you can't blame her for forgetting a goddamn name. None of us can remember it either. Like, put up with it. Forgettable ass name. Is there any chance? Let's just cover that. I like assigning him a name and then like, berating him for having like a forgettable name. Forgettable ass name.
01:41:26
Speaker
So is there any merit to his name being a part of this? Is there any name he could have that would make it better that she just doesn't remember? Like a frat bro name. Alright, I'm sorry I don't remember your name, Cody. But there's a lot of people just like you.
01:41:46
Speaker
I feel like that's a little bit ruder. That's more of a reasonable breakup over there. If it was like... Yeah, I guess that's true. That's fair. Did he say how long they've been together? He said four months? Um, four months. That's a long time. It's a lot of... It's a lot of... How do you start dating somebody without middle age? How do you not be like... When people are like... So like other people are like...
01:42:11
Speaker
What's your boyfriend's name? And she's just like, you know, the parrot. And then she's not. Oh my god. She thinks she's wrong to other people. That's the thing is like, if she's doing a thing wrong to him. But it can also be a bit because I've had an ex's dad who would just call me a different man's name every time he saw me. He would be like, Steve, hey, Carl. So like, it could be.
01:42:40
Speaker
that like it's like a bit that he's not picking up on but uh if it's real and she's actually forgetting it comment it's not that hard to remember podridge woman you can get it it's come on let's see that stuff by the end of this question we've we got podridge in here by the end of the episode i'd still have podridge in my head
01:43:06
Speaker
Then you should break up with it. Send me the link. Commit it to damn memory and let's just be done with it. Okay? That's about it. We have one more question that we're gonna do. We used a little bit too much time on Podridge, so baby duck bad luck has to wait. We're doing uncooperative father.
Gender Roles in Parenthood
01:43:29
Speaker
Uh, the title of this question is my husband thinks he shouldn't watch the baby overnight because other men don't. What would be a good fake name for this anonymous asker? Shouldn't watch the baby overnight because other men don't. And we're never, remember we're naming her, not him.
01:43:57
Speaker
Your name, I pitched you guys' name. This could be Padreina. Padreina. It's Padreina. It's P A H D R I N N
01:44:16
Speaker
Don't say it like it's different just because you spelled it different. Yeah, it's outrageously close names. There's no hiding it. Let's just embrace. It's like spelling Bailey, but like B-A-Y-L-E-I-I-T. It should go Tina. Tina? Or Padre? Padre, then go Tina. Padre, then go Tina. Padre, then go Tina.
01:44:39
Speaker
All right, context. I watch my son from 9 p.m. to 4 a.m. while my husband sleeps. He watches him from 4 to 8 a.m. while I sleep. They're taking shifts. I then watch him from 8 to 5 p.m. while he works. Husband then watches him from 5 to 8 p.m. in the cycle repeats.
01:45:02
Speaker
We have a good baby, and he usually wakes up once or twice a night to eat. Last night, at around 8pm, he just exploded at me. That he shouldn't wake up with the baby at all. He said, no husband we know does this. He kept repeating, name one man who does. Name one man!
01:45:20
Speaker
I told him to stop comparing us to other relationships because it's not constructive and pointed out how other dads do extra and other ways. Work overtime.
01:45:32
Speaker
Uh, babies that need extra care. Maybe he's got colic. He said he's tired of going above and beyond for me and the baby. I couldn't believe it. He did get up in his defense at 4 AM last night and he left for work, but since then he hasn't spoken. Is our system wrong? Is this just a bruised male ego? I'm looking for suggestions. This is our first baby.
01:45:59
Speaker
Obviously this guy's an asshole, but yeah, it's a bonkers system, too Yeah, I'll watch them. We need to watch them. Just fucking have a baby monitor. Well, the baby monitor can't watch him. Certainly the baby's not sticking to that schedule. The baby's asleep, too. You'll be asleep. You'll hear a wake up.
01:46:18
Speaker
Well, they hear her wake up and he just doesn't want to go get it. She has to be the one in the middle of the night to go. I mean, I'm assuming, I'm assuming based on this, that she's the one that's having to enforce this rigid schedule because otherwise he wouldn't help with the baby at all. He wouldn't do anything. Yeah. Right. I mean, yeah, obviously I think she's right. It's a bruised male ego.
01:46:39
Speaker
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Let's... Look, we already pissed off golfers. We need to be careful about the whole male audience. Let's just hear out the man for a second. No, I'm talking about this man, man. No? That's all me. Let's just advocate for devilish activities in the fondest of ways. No, it's the devil. Bro, that's literally the devil. Are you... Why are you advocating?
01:47:06
Speaker
You're not hanging around with him, Art. I'm worried you're in with the wrong crowd.
01:47:12
Speaker
Next time I talk to your uncle, next time your uncle does a Google hang out with me, and I'm gonna tell him I saw you hanging out with the devil. And I'm just gonna lie. So let's just, let's try to see the side because our first instinct is obviously is wrong. What we do here that's different than other things is we look for justifications for men's behaviors. I think that sets us apart from other shows.
01:47:43
Speaker
Do other men do this A? And why do other men do this? Or why don't other men do this B?
01:47:52
Speaker
Yeah, certainly other men do this. Think why hopefully from maybe in the past, they did less so because just sticking to like patriarchal images of like, the woman takes care of the kid, they tell them to look at all that shit stays up all right, taking care of the kid. And the man's tired because he worked all day. But hopefully this barriers are being culturally broken down. We evaluate it. So now I think
01:48:23
Speaker
Yeah, but let's dive deeper into that. Like, why do more men do it? Because it's fairer for women? Is that the argument? Are we, are we pulling on? Are we plucking on straws a little? Like, we'll know clearly. As you requested by Tucker Carlson, are you?
01:48:55
Speaker
You should see it as being a man and it's like providing for your family
01:49:04
Speaker
What if he takes his son to lay in bed? What kind of, like, fancy-ass shit is that? Just laying around, sleeping? They should be up at 4 a.m. and fucking cutting logs. If your job is anything other than cutting logs, you're less of a man. You better be up at 4 a.m. letting the babies suckle them up. That's their fucking asshole. Actually, I have a word of advice for it.
01:49:31
Speaker
You can't be off taking care of the baby because you've got to do a couple of locks. Like you've got to get outside and get brought to the court. We're on his side. We don't think he should be sleeping. We just think he's got more important things to do than the baby. Like providing firewood or killing rabbits in the middle of the night, getting to them before the owls do. He doesn't? And then the padrina of Kalina Marina's oven?
01:49:59
Speaker
Well, I mean, we're going to hear her side. Well, let's go ahead and skip to that. Let's let's hear her side. It was only her side. We listened to this question and we were really instantly like.
01:50:11
Speaker
Yeah, how do we fucking tear this woman down? How do we make her out of the way? That's the challenging thing about an advice show is it's not just who is right and who is wrong. It's how does the party in the right communicate to the party in the wrong and vice versa so that the problem can actually be solved. Obviously, she knows that it's crazy that he would say that.
01:50:37
Speaker
But if he already feels like this, this is one of those situations where it's not as simple as just leaving because of the baby. And if, if there's toxicity, then maybe you should leave and you should exhaust those options, certainly. But if, if you were to try to reconcile and if everything else is in theory, fine, which I would have questions, but we have to go off of what we have. How do you communicate to your partner and break down that barrier?
01:51:07
Speaker
I push this thing out of my pussy Like she always wanted Always one of them that's also perpetuating the idea that like men only want then just what like sex So I take that back too but uh
01:51:36
Speaker
Yeah, how do you communicate it? Yeah, I don't... I don't take it enough anymore. I think he wants to... hold on.
01:51:41
Speaker
Yeah, he probably does. I just want to come and never have to wake up for screaming at me. I never want my come to be screaming at me before I am. If my come screams at me, I'm not getting up to take care of it. Look, this is a man's word. I put this thing in you at 4 a.m. You did the god's devil's duty of metabolizing it, or whatever.
01:52:11
Speaker
You metastasized this thing. You didn't have to fertilize the egg. Go fertilize the egg. I did my part. You could have squirted it out like a turkey baster.
01:52:24
Speaker
I think that if you have to explain, this is like a real thing because gender roles exist as societal constructs primarily and breaking down those barriers, just fighting against hundreds if not thousands of years of generation over generation communicating to their children what matters.
01:52:49
Speaker
Step one is making sure that when you go talk to your son, like, if your husband doesn't wake up in the middle of the night, you're like, fuck, he's not doing his part. When you go to your son, you spread the damn good word, because your husband may be a lost cause, but you gotta look on to what's next. What generation of men is coming up? Your dad is so put, you know he's just a sleepin'? He only works like seven hours a day. You know he only works like seven hours, and he just works at Rite Aid, like,
01:53:18
Speaker
And look, I- that's how- we- we met there. I- I like Rite Aid, there's nothing wrong with Rite Aid, but... Jeez, you would think he would help out Mom a little bit more. Start spreading it young!
01:53:29
Speaker
Never put that on the child Like I feel like it's super I've ever there it's situations where like families like put it on the kid that like tell the kid They're the peacemaker They have to be sometimes like mediator just I think that maybe sure certainly there's a way to put that on
01:53:54
Speaker
to influence that less direct little less rule like without having to like tear down or like pit your kid or like use your kid in some way to like i don't know yeah there's a way to teach it certainly in a healthy way okay well can i can i pitch you one a little bit less toxic idea then yeah
01:54:20
Speaker
I think that you'll like this one. Here's a rule with this one exactly. We have to come to a unanimous agreement on the solution. I think though, hear me out. You may not be with me at the beginning. You know how like, maybe like when you have like a friend over, your like boyfriend is trying harder. He's like sweeter. He's like kissing and he's doing dishes that he wouldn't normally do. Like showing off. You take him to your parents' house and he's nicer. And then when you get home and you're alone, that's when the nastiness comes out.
01:54:47
Speaker
That's when the nasty boyness starts to metastasize. What your job is, is to hire a stenographer to document every action in the household.
01:55:02
Speaker
Have someone sit in the baby's room overnight, maybe even an AI program that just documents and writes a script of what actions everybody takes. And I think that accountability of him being embarrassed of like someone else finding that out could really make him there, especially maybe she's cute or something. I don't know. But if you guys think they should just talk, that's fine too.
01:55:32
Speaker
Yeah. No, I think having an AI stenographer at these rooms is probably the same thing. Let an AI raise your baby. Shit fucking husband can't. That's a good idea.
01:55:49
Speaker
Like, let Alphabet, the company, that's going, chat, GD, GPT, GTP, whatever, what you should do and how to break up with your husband, actually. So this shows useless. Let's always just ask for the AI.
01:56:08
Speaker
Uh, yes, we could be the intermedium. That's, that's all the value of this show is that, is that we could type your question into Google or a chat GPT and that's, and that's basically it. Uh, we've got a lot more fun about the show is definitely. Oh, we certainly never go to search. We never look at it. We're not looking at Google. We're looking straight in here and in here and in the couple other.
01:56:33
Speaker
I'm sorry. They didn't ask us. This was unsolicited to start. I'm not doing work for someone who didn't want the help. It's questioned more than email to us. This was primarily. Exactly.
01:56:49
Speaker
We've got a lot more great coming up on the show. Bayside bassist Nick Ganberian coming on a little bit later to talk to us about music, culture, and coffee. But before we get to that, we're doing... What's the segment coming up? This is an Ian and Riley segment. We're doing Best Little Bug coming up right after this.
01:57:17
Speaker
A mind bender of some sort predicted a future for three friends. It was 2011. The Obama was running again for president. That was against Mitt Romney. There was a lot of stuff going on. I think that's right.
01:57:38
Speaker
But he predicted a future for three friends at the time. And he said, in 12 years, you will sit together and you will have a honorable competition. And he said, trust me, boys, when I say one of you will draw the bug of a lifetime. The rest of you will draw bugs.
01:58:01
Speaker
Today, three friends sit together 12 years later, matured sexually and otherwise, to draw the best bugs of our ability. We are going to take the sticky notes that we have, draw within a reasonable, unspecified amount of time, a bug, and come to a unanimous decision on whose bug is best. I think there's no questions, right? Yeah, I think we should also
01:58:32
Speaker
I don't want to just create like just a fucking like bug that like is you know, I'm gonna love like every bug if there's no details, if there's no like reasons to like compare bugs. So I think we should maybe list a few like traits and try to keep trying to have some pros and some cons.
01:58:51
Speaker
Some, some aspects of the bug like open that is a weakness like bug of the bugs. No bug is perfect and we don't want to present. We don't want to like pretend that perfect bugs are out there. This is your best little buddy. This bug will be this bug to be incredible. This could be the best little bug you've ever seen, but he's still going to have something the more you get to know him that it's going to bug you a little bit.
01:59:19
Speaker
So yeah, just, you know, can you put a few traits with the bug or with his name? When we're done, are we presenting our bugs or like, should we go one by one and talk about them? Yeah, I think that shouldn't tell style and then like, deliver it afterward. And it'll be our system. We'll pilot what the best bug is. There will be no argument as to what the best bug is.
01:59:45
Speaker
We've been waiting 12 years for this. I think we'll be mature when it comes to deciding who has the bug of a lifetime and who has a bug. It's the basic ass bug. Yeah, let's make that mind bender proud. Boys. That's little bug of the year. Pens equipped. Let's draw some bugs. All right. So what I'm doing here is I'm creating a bug.
02:00:14
Speaker
He's going to be a unique little bug. Getting him on his own head. And a couple of eyes. Well, he's really interesting.
02:00:31
Speaker
To the Mindbender's love and exceptional confidence, we've completed our bugs. We have no clue, and I've yet to look at any of the bug drawings. We've texted them to our group chat. We're going to display them on the screen one by one. Riley McNamara, the opportunity to present your bug to the Mindbender and his family.
02:00:56
Speaker
This fan is a good bug. Yeah, this is my bug. I don't have a name for him, unfortunately Harold. Harold? Yeah. But he's a little bug. His pros, single pros. Pretty good waffles, you know. And pretty easy for a bug. He makes good waffles?
02:01:19
Speaker
I feel like any waffle is pretty good for a bug. They might be waffles, so that could be a control or a con that's gonna be up to you to decide whether the best waffles you think a bug could make, and that that's gonna be like... Yeah. Whether that's a pro or a con. His con is that he's got pretty severe criteria.
02:01:40
Speaker
Is that a nose? Yeah, it's a nose, and then those are wings. He looks kind of like his face. I thought he had bubblegum. It's like a reindeer. He's got like antennae on top of his head, and then like beetle style wings coming out of his back there, his belly stripes. I thought he was chewing bubblegum in the best way.
02:02:16
Speaker
Well, buddy, I'd like to say at a moment's notice I think that that's one of the better bugs I've ever seen definitely in contention for bug of a lifetime round of applause for Ali
02:02:27
Speaker
And I mean, I'm gonna beat that. So for the debug, appreciate it. That's it. Ian Whitfield. In preparation, the bug or the mind bender and his family have popped some champagne. They're very excited to see what you have to present. The opportunity for the bud of a lifetime. Or just another bug. Let's see it.
02:02:54
Speaker
Now I don't think this is just another bug. This was a pretty good bug. So this is my little bug. I'll say his qualities first because you know that's what you really want to know. So he's really good with kids and he's good at singing. Now those both sound pretty good.
02:03:15
Speaker
or a difficult thing is his name. His name is Pissmop. And he just probably wouldn't want him either around your kids or like you're never going to see Pissmop singing concert. If you heard like Pissmop. If that's important to you, you might never get to see this guy. He's not going to take off. He's a great singer, really good with kids. Kids can't even say his name without getting a little scolded.
02:03:42
Speaker
But he's like one of those, like, look at him. I don't know the genre of metal, but like one of the metal bands that's like, got something like this or something like that. You know, it's a sign of defiance. I think that's a fist bump. And that's why he's good with kids because he cares about the people. What kind of voice does he have?
02:04:06
Speaker
Um, a confident one. Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. It sounds like a bug. I mean, you know, it's like, it's... What can you make my voice like? Even in kind, cannot be taller than this. Cannot be taller than this. And that's how it's fucking test pops, I'm fine. And then when he sings, it's like...
02:04:32
Speaker
He knocked a fire. Piss my baby. But yeah, I think Piss my little bug and I think he's the absolute best.
02:04:45
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, honestly, buddy, and I mean this when they say one of the better bugs I've ever seen, certainly a reasonable chance to be the bug of a lifetime. Let's do a round of applause. And just to clarify, good with kids, you know, he can, he's educating them in a way that even your school system is not, you know, currently educating your disease.
02:05:06
Speaker
Really teaching them, you know, friends, like life, life skills, carry with them into their, into their adulthood. They'll be telling their kids about the legends and the wisdom that they got from Piss Mark, the book. Right. I mean, you're not learning algebra. His name is not so legit. It went up. It went an obstacle. It would be perfect. If not for the piss.
02:05:34
Speaker
No, I mean, that would be a, that would be tough. If I had that, I don't know that I'd be where I am today. So congrats on this mom for succeeding despite, uh, my guy will throw them on the screen now. Okay. Okay. Um, are we going to have to say this? I don't, I don't think so. What platforms are going on? Oh yeah. Oh, is that a tree? That's a tree bridge. That's an erect cock and ball set. Oh, okay.
02:06:05
Speaker
Some people say it's wood. I feel that's true from a branch is leaking He's got such a he's got a cricket from out at least so I kind of feel bad for him But does he like being on that talk? I don't know. Does he have a name?
02:06:26
Speaker
He does have a name. His name is Jab, and that stands for his proficiencies and deficiencies combined. He has three. Jab is judgmental, certainly. That's not the biggest cock Jab has ever seen. Not even close. I mean, if that's a ladybug, that's a pretty small guy.
02:06:55
Speaker
Yeah, I mean he can be significantly notable he's asexual
02:07:02
Speaker
Um, just more than interested in it. You know, nothing. He's not on that cock because he wants to be or because he doesn't want to be. He isn't different about where he's at. He might as well be at the mall. He's at work. This is his job. This is his job. That's it. It could be just that. We can separate it and he's buoyant. Oh, set this man out to sea for those wings fold back and create a bowl and he can float and he is buoyant as ever.
02:07:31
Speaker
Yeah? I can see it. It's a pretty good bug. Sorry. Gotta say that it's not a bug, it's an important bug. And he's not just relying on the surface tension of a bug. No, that's very true. So let's give a round of applause for Jam. Jam! But it's clear that not every bug has to be the bug of a lifetime.
02:07:55
Speaker
There's a unanimous bug here. Do people that we know that, wait. We went into this really expecting it to be unanimous, but these are some fucking grandpa. It's gonna be really hard to cheat. Well, I think we can do it if we get on the same page and we're on camera, so there's no texting, no phones right now that no one can accuse us of cheating. We're going to close our eyes.
02:08:22
Speaker
Okay. I trust you guys. We're going to close our eyes for three seconds, and then we're going to open them. I'm going to count us. It's one, two, three. And on the implied go, we say the name. And I genuinely believe it'll be in unison. Again, let's go through the names. Riley, say the name of your bug. Harold. Ian, say the name of your bug. Pismo.
02:08:50
Speaker
Morgan, say the name of your bug. I just wanted to be involved. Uh, jab. All right. I think we're going to do this now. This is where it gets crazy because it's going to require at least one of us boats for ourselves. Ooh, what a rule, but we have this. All right. Are you guys feeling what I'm feeling? I'm feeling that.
02:09:16
Speaker
All right, get on my wavelength. One, two, three. Harold. Harold. Wait, what is it?
02:09:30
Speaker
I think he, did you say piss mob? I did say piss mob. He said, he said piss mob. You said Harold. He, I, you were with me. He was, he was with me. You have to believe in your bug. That's important to the process. For this game to work, you have to believe in your bug. All right. You can't be like, there's like, I mean, thanks. I mean, piss mob's great. Piss mob, he's good with kids. I don't know. Your bug just seemed better. I think at the very least, piss mob.
02:09:59
Speaker
should perform at Harold's wedding. Oh, that's very sweet of you. Yeah, that's very nice of you. We're going to continue this segment and do things kind of like it until we can name it unanimously. We'll see how many episodes that takes. But for the meantime, we have to go with majority vote and just say Harold is the bug of a lifetime. One last round of applause for Harold. Congratulations to Harold, the best little bug, an absolutely incredible little. I don't know.
02:10:28
Speaker
We've got Nick Ganberian from Bayside and The Radio Radio Show coming up right after this.
02:10:40
Speaker
Welcome back to the show. I'm sorry. So initially we were going to try to hide this. We just had a really long discussion. I want to welcome back to the show. Now for the second time. Thank you for returning Nick Anverian, bassist of Bayside. It's like I never left. I'm here. I'm still here.
02:11:02
Speaker
You know, this is pretty cool. This is the shortest between two guest appearances and show history. It's the same guest. Making records. Yeah, what made you want to come back so soon? Was the experience so good that you just thought, let's run it back right now?
02:11:17
Speaker
I'm forcing myself to be a fourth post of the show. I only have two podcasts, so I'm trying to get another one under the belt. That one ended up being nicer than I thought what you were going to say. I'm forcing myself to be nice to you. I can't believe you just wasted 20 minutes of my life.
02:11:39
Speaker
Nick, we appreciate you coming on. We're really big fans of the program. The program being the band that you guys run. Should I show my tattoo again? I have a base-side tattoo. Still have it. Wow, okay. This is me being Montauk. Also love that movie. I've been meaning to re-watch that movie. It's been a minute.
02:11:57
Speaker
I just did, like, last week. It holds up on rewatches some of the runs. Yeah, yeah. Like, it's so good. Well, no, he's not telling you the full story. He went through a breakup recently, too. So, of course he rewatched it. Like, so you have to rewatch. You throw a fun shot. You're like, does this technology actually exist? You're like, googling it.
02:12:15
Speaker
We're really big fans of Bayside and have been for years and years and years. I'd say we're intermediate listeners. I came around probably like killing time or so, something through there. What's your favorite Bayside song? Just to get it out of the way.
02:12:35
Speaker
Wow, interesting question. I always have recency bias when it comes to us because I do feel like we're constantly getting better as a band. Yeah. Up until recently, I would say Numb off of Antero Bang.
02:12:54
Speaker
And I think it was dethroned by Just Like Home, but a lot of stuff has gone on with the song called Just Like Home that I'm heartbroken about it, and now I'm mad at it. Yeah, that adds into another question. Is there a song that you thought that you really love that didn't get the recognition? I guess that's your answer, probably. Yeah.
02:13:17
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, just like home, it got algorithmed, that's for sure. It got, it just, the snowball did not go down the mountain and get bigger and bigger. It just, upon release, just did not get like streamed enough. Like our fans liked it, but it just kind of became this song that is like,
02:13:40
Speaker
I don't want to say it's a secret, but it was just really hard for us to get the information out there, that there was a new Bayside song. Because the first two did great. Strangers' Faces did great. Out of the three, Strangers' Faces did the best. Good Advice did a very middle of the road okay. We knew that that was kind of more of a normal Bayside pop-punk song. So we were happy with how it was received.
02:14:05
Speaker
And we saved Just Like Home for the third release of the EP. We named our upcoming tour after it because it was our favorite song. We thought it was gonna like... thought it was really gonna go somewhere and it just like underperformed due to...
02:14:20
Speaker
algorithms. It has nothing. There's no sentiment out there on the internet, perhaps Instagram anywhere where people are like, this one's not good. Everyone who feels compelled to comment likes it, but it's just analytically underperforming.
02:14:42
Speaker
my heart's broken we have a tour named after it that we're probably not even gonna play the song honestly because it's just uh it just be like that yeah power dynamics are everywhere right now yeah i mean does the leverage and the technology behind algorithms give you any sort of like
02:15:02
Speaker
bad taste in your mouth for like even like consumer electronics like not even like from a societal discussion like not about like do you think people should have phones but do you ever hold a grudge to your appliances as a result of just being a big part of this thing that didn't send your song where it was supposed to go yeah because i just to me it's
02:15:23
Speaker
It's, in theory, great, but it's used against us. In theory, algorithms should help us find new music, find new things that we like, find us products that are useful, but it's just used against us to funnel money out of our pockets.
02:15:40
Speaker
I think we touched on the radio radio show being a good resource because algorithms is something that doesn't care about you picking what you should listen to and doesn't care about what the content is, just that you're looking at it or listening to it.
02:16:01
Speaker
So it's definitely refreshing to have a place online that feels like old school radio where you're getting direct recommendations from a specific person and it's music that they actually care about and are recommending because a human thinks it's good. Well, thank you for bringing that up. But to me, I can't even begin to understand how
02:16:27
Speaker
algorithms recommend songs and bands and stuff like that. I'm sure it's simpler in many ways and then way more complex in other ways. But to me, there is a similarity between all five of my favorite bands. None of them sound the same, but they all make sense that I like them all. And that's not an algorithm that didn't tell me that. That's my ears. I find something in all of them. And I do try to
02:16:58
Speaker
Show here and there not not directly not like it's not like I play a Jenny Lewis song and I'm like and here's bad religion And that's what's coming up next and here's why you should listen about these bands. It's more about like just almost playing
02:17:12
Speaker
a couple of different kinds of like indie, alternative, punk, emo, whatever it is, all in the same show and kind of just show people that like it's all one big like umbrella. Like they all fit under an umbrella. You don't have to just be a hardcore person and only listen hardcore and dress a certain way or whatever. It's all like count kind of varying degrees of counterculture is the best way I would put like the songs that I pick. You know, it's like, uh,
02:17:39
Speaker
with the exception of me playing the Killers, who is my favorite big band. To me, they're a generational band. They're sure they have Mr. Brightside, which is the most popular song of the 2000s.
02:17:55
Speaker
to me they write great rock songs and still do and like if anything the band like that is like coming into their own now after they have all their massive hits they don't almost they almost don't like have the pressure to write hits anymore so they're writing some really great songs now because they're just
02:18:11
Speaker
First of all, they're trying to be Bruce Springsteen, so that's cool. I just think that there's more similarities to a lot of different kinds of sounding music that people think. Yeah, I 100% agree. And algorithms aren't going to show you that.
02:18:30
Speaker
Yeah, and it's cool. I mean, and a big thing that the older I'm getting is just me, like, being involved in creating communities. So, like, I have a Star Wars podcast, so that's, like, a big part of my life, which, you know, the Star Wars community is great. I've made such amazing friends on the past couple of years because of that. And then the same thing with the radio show.
02:18:49
Speaker
to a lesser degree it's great to be able to talk to people about music who listen to the show and they find bands and that's the whole goal is even if they find one band a year that that really resonates with them then I'm happy.
02:19:04
Speaker
Yeah. And I think that speaks to also like a lot of people, I mean, maybe not like our generation, but like there, it combats against the like, there are new bands that are really good, like only old music is good or something like that. Like getting fresh recommended artists so that you're like,
02:19:22
Speaker
There are really great, amazing artists out there that you just might have to dig around a little bit more for because they're not being shoveled to you by an algorithm. But it's nice to get those recommendations from a person for sure.
02:19:38
Speaker
I think that, well, to touch on the killers just for one second, I think that the amazing second half that they're having right now has a lot to do with the jackets that the guy is rich enough to wear. I don't know the killer's guy's name, but every time I see him, he's got Kevin Hart level jackets. Something that has to have some correlation with the amazing second half that they're having with everything right now.
02:20:08
Speaker
Yeah, there was an era, I want to say like maybe over 10 years ago, where he was kind of like one record cycle. He was like a greaser. He had a really tight haircut and like a leather jacket. And I was like, dude, you look so cool. And now he's now he's like trying to be Elvis though. And I'm like, come on, like, go back, go back to the other version. I like that better.
02:20:28
Speaker
Do you change the shoes before? Sorry. Is there like any thought? I mean, it's kind of a weird question, but like for like image and like stage presence and having like, like I've noticed sometimes you guys, like when I've seen you guys, there is some type of uniformity and like you all wear the like a clothing brand or the black polos. Yeah.
02:20:53
Speaker
We've tried that here and there. I mean, sometimes we are like, does that matter? Does it not matter? Yeah. I mean, I could personally say that it's like putting on a costume. Like, I like getting dressed up for stage, not dressed up like fancy. But I mean, that being said, I did wear a blazer and slacks on stage this year. I won't be doing that anymore. That was a 2022 thing. And it was directly related to me trying to be like more punk rock, random flowers. But
02:21:20
Speaker
Like I do like to I like the ritual of like an hour before we play getting changed into show clothes and and Like kind of getting into I don't really do anything to get into the mood but it is more like for some reason I do the opposite of what I Want to say a lot of people would do before they get on stage like I don't get pumped up I like to relax before we get on like the second I get on stage. I really do feel like I
02:21:47
Speaker
All right, here we go. It doesn't happen until I'm on stage though. I see people and I get excited. It's a very like pure thing where I'm like, well, I got to get pumped up, got to go play another show tonight. It's like, no, I get out there and I'm like, I'm ready. Like, this is amazing. Yeah, the instant feedback of an audience, that energy will naturally occur, I'm sure. Yeah.
02:22:09
Speaker
We had talked earlier a little bit about how much variability you have within the communities that you're passionate about, be it Star Wars, coffee, music, et cetera. I think that right now, every 10 to 20-year-old's dream is to be involved with their passions and find a way to monetize that. It's so different than it was 100 years ago, and you are living that
02:22:34
Speaker
that dream. Can you speak to what that feels like actually to kids listening and people who have passions that they haven't effectively monetized? Yeah. I can't say that it's luck, but
02:22:52
Speaker
you know, Bayside is the, I have a career, you know, like I have a career that pays the bills. So it allows me to have months and months off to turn passions into some money. You know, if Bayside went away, I wouldn't be able to support myself, you know, like on
02:23:11
Speaker
Star Wars podcast, coffee company, radio show, like those things don't equal the adults living wage, but I'm happy that they make some money because to me it's just how you use your free time, you know? And like that's a big thing is that all my time in Bayside and being a musician since I was 15, I was in touring bands in my early 20s, I joined Bayside in 2004, like all of that to me like built up
02:23:40
Speaker
equity for me to be able to be Now, you know in my early 40s with a career that allows me nine to ten months off a year and I get to pursue different things so I you know, I don't know how to I can't like speak on like younger people only pursuing things they like and
02:24:04
Speaker
in efforts to monetize them because I do feel like I have a backdrop of like a career that I put a lot of time into. So I'm extremely happy when any money gets made up with me just liking things. That's definitely a great situation, but it's a tough thing and I try to not
02:24:29
Speaker
sound like an old man when I'm like, I wish everyone could be an influencer and make money, but the world's gonna need plumbers one day, that sort of thing. I feel like that's a very older person sentiment, but I feel like there's some truth to it. You're gonna really get a lot of points for this. When I tell you we have a blue collar audience, I maybe should have brought that up ahead. Actually, 80% of the people who listen to this are doing so while welding. Yeah, old mining.
02:24:58
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know if you guys have any shows in, you know, Appalachia right now, but we might actually be able to do some work for you in some of these small coal towns.
02:25:09
Speaker
But yeah, I mean, all I could say is for sure so much of life is trying to find joy and happiness and it's probably pretty devoid trying to find happiness working for somebody else. So that's all I'll say. Figure out how to do that, whatever it is, figure out how to work for yourself as much as possible.
02:25:33
Speaker
Is there anything specific that you learned in going from managing a clothing brand to the coffee business?
Balancing Business and Creativity
02:25:45
Speaker
To have some of those business management skills on top of base side. You might not have gotten some of those skills directly from working and playing the bass in the band, but you still had to learn them.
02:26:00
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, what's crazy is, like, anyone who, like, me and Chris who do Legal Speed, like, Chris is our drummer, like, we run Legal Speed like a band, you know? Like, every take when it comes to, like, Thank the Maker, the Star Wars podcast is literally me, Adam from Story of the Year, and Ryan from Yellow Card. We run that like a band. Like, the band has given us
02:26:21
Speaker
I wouldn't say a business acumen necessarily, but we do see how business can be simply run and maybe there's a ceiling to how much money you can make with the way that we run things as if they were a band.
02:26:41
Speaker
I don't know. It keeps like overhead low. It keeps things simple. And I feel like I've been like three bands, you know, at this point, even though I'm only in one because every business is run very similar to Bayside. Gotcha. Okay. I didn't think about that.
02:26:56
Speaker
It's not like we went to business school and tried to open a coffee roasting company. We were just interested in it. We learned how to roast. We do a very simple direct-to-consumer website, do shipping, really simple stuff.
02:27:14
Speaker
in hopes that it takes off one day and then we'll have to scramble to figure out how to harness all of that. But right now, everything is really, truly run with the experience that we learned in running the business of Bayside. If anything we learned is how to run our band because since 2000, when we've been a band and since 2004, since I've been in the band,
02:27:41
Speaker
Being in a band isn't just being creative. You have to have control of your business too. And that's such a huge thing. You have to know where your money's going. You have to spend it wisely. All of these things matter because it's not the 80s or the 90s where you're just like, we rode under the bridge. We rode hot chili peppers. We're millionaires now. Who cares? It's just not like that. You have to know. You have to be pretty hands-on.
02:28:08
Speaker
I imagine especially if you're going to have the type of longevity that you guys have, it's where you're not... Something creative might get you to blow up really big right now, but you won't be able to maintain that longevity. Yeah, yeah. I just want to go back, and you brought up how similar it is to run a business, is to run a band, and you had said that it's sort of like that you're in three bands, and I just think it's funny to have...
02:28:37
Speaker
I don't know, you're talking to your mother and you're talking about like your boyfriend. You're like, oh yeah, he's killing it for me. He's in three bands and he's bringing home all this, but you're like actually killing it. You're, you're running three bands and all the plates are spinning. It really deserves a lot of recognition and you're in the top 1% of what you do.
02:28:57
Speaker
Well, I appreciate it. I appreciate it. It's hard to even have self appreciation, though, because there is a lot of plate spitting, like you said. So I forced myself, especially like the last couple of weeks, whereas the holiday season, I forced myself to kind of just chill here and there. But there is this like unending, like you just cannot rest kind of thing. Not that I'm like working my fingers to the bone, but there's not. There is a lot of like
02:29:25
Speaker
my phone will go off with five different things I'm involved in and I have to like find time to concentrate and be smart about all of them and I don't know, it's really hard to do that when everything is all on your phone, when your phone is like business, entertainment, contacts, messaging your friends, it's like everything is on your phone or a computer and it's really hard sometimes to concentrate on like
02:29:53
Speaker
Well, I'm talking to this guy about coffee and Instagram direct messages, but then I also just saw a funny meme that distracted me and now I'm going to answer an email and I don't even remember what I was doing a minute ago. It's like a real, it's hard to compartmentalize a lot of these things. That's the most fucked up part is that no matter how successful you're doing all of those things at once, you never really feel like you're successfully prioritizing. Yeah.
02:30:22
Speaker
In reality, it's going okay. But yeah, there's a constant feeling of, was I supposed to be doing something? Like that is always learning. Yeah. Let's go a little bit more granular with it. And we've talked about legal speed a little bit already, but as a result of Bayside's success and nearly 20 years of national touring, you've had the chance to develop intimate relationships with cities all over the country.
02:30:48
Speaker
You're quoted as saying finding the most excellent coffee roasters in each city became a sport. Well, you followed Michael Jordan's path from player to owner and started your very own coffee roasting company, Legal Speed Coffee with Chris. Can you speak to the creation of that company and could you walk us through your experience from your initial idea to your first sale?
02:31:10
Speaker
Yeah, well, we rode bikes a lot. Me and Chris would bring our road bikes on tour just to kind of get around the city a little easier. Or just dug coffee. Really, I would say like 2014, 2012. 2012 Warped Tour. Nate from Anne Berlin, the drummer of Anne Berlin. He had started a coffee roasting company with Tim from Underoath called King State.
02:31:38
Speaker
He helped us figure out what good coffee was. He set us on a good path. I would say for the next couple of years, I guess that was 2012. For the next four years or so, I think Chris and I just learned a lot about what we liked about coffee.
02:31:55
Speaker
And what was good coffee, what was bad coffee, what we liked, whether we thought it was good or not. There's a nostalgic sense of what coffee is, which is like dark and bitter, and people assume that that means it's stronger and has more caffeine in it, but that's not quite the case. And the more and more we learned, we just were going to different coffee roasters, like independent roasters, as opposed to going to Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts or whatever while we were on tour.
02:32:21
Speaker
We'd ride our bikes around cities getting coffee. And one day, our friend Jen had just moved to a new tattoo studio in North Carolina. So she was like, come check it out. It's really cool. It's like this old colonial house that we turned into a tattoo studio. So we went there. She basically was like, I'll tattoo you guys. What do you want? Like, just pick a tattoo and I'll do the same tattoo on both of you.
02:32:47
Speaker
So we were just thinking like coffee, bikes, like blah, blah, blah. How do we, what can we do real quick? And we were just thinking for a couple of minutes and the lag wagon has a song called Mr. Coffee and in the lyrics, uh,
02:33:03
Speaker
One of the lyrics says, here I come to save the day on legal speed the American way. And for some reason I was thinking of that song and I was like, what about legal speed? And Chris, it was one of those moments where Chris was like, did you just come up with that? And I was like, no, it's a lag wagon lyric. And he's like, that's so sick. So she drew up something that just had some bike wheels and said legal speed.
02:33:25
Speaker
uh we got that tattooed on us and on our ride back to the bus to the venue Chris was like we got to open a cafe that name is so good and I'm like well yeah sure like that sounds great I don't know what goes into opening a cafe but we have a name that's cool um so just really I still lived in New York at the time he lived here in California and uh I would say within
02:33:47
Speaker
A year, year and a half, I had moved from New York here to pursue opening a roaster, a roasting company with him, because we figured a cafe would be like a lot of money and a lot of effort. And we were kind of just like, how about a little bit of money and a little bit of effort? So that became roasting. So we got very, we learned how to,
02:34:12
Speaker
do that and build a brand. And it's pretty much, for the most part, always been the two of us hands on. We have a couple of people here and there who get involved once in a while. But for the most part, it was just like our love of coffee led us to roasting. And then we, especially during the pandemic, we did a lot of stuff with other bands because bands needed merchandise to sell. So we were like collaborating with them on Coffee Beans, which was excellent.
02:34:41
Speaker
So yeah, it's just really another thing that's passion-based. We liked it, we learned about it, and figured out a way to make a product. It's not the most lucrative thing in the world, but that's almost because of us, because both of us have so many different things going on, including Bayside, that we're like, we can't own a cafe.
02:35:02
Speaker
What are we going to do? Shut it down when we go on tour? Like we're just not quite there yet. And going back to our prior conversation, we're not business people either. You know, like we can't just like hire a bunch of people and know what we're doing and then be like, all right, we're going on tour for six weeks. See you later. You guys are on the show. It's like, I don't know. That just doesn't seem like meant like we're mentally capable of that yet. But we got a good thing going.
02:35:26
Speaker
Did I read in an interview that you guys for a while, quite literally, did shut the coffee roasting company down when you went on tour? Early on, yeah. We haven't done that in a minute, but I would say prior to 2020, yeah, we would kind of. That was before we had
02:35:45
Speaker
It might have been closer to 2018. Before we had cafe accounts, we would just be like, yeah, we'll close it down because we're only getting website orders, basically. But then once the company grew and we got into a bunch of cafes around here, we were like, we can't just not give them coffee. They're going to go get their coffee from another roaster. So we figured out how to
02:36:08
Speaker
whether we had someone work for us for summer or whatever our situation is now where we have someone who helps us with fulfillment. It's something where when we're on tour now, we'll almost dummy down the website so there's only a couple of items and then keep our cafes that we supply. We'll keep those afloat just by having someone help us with it while we're gone. So
02:36:33
Speaker
There was a point where it was kind of negligible to keep it open while we were gone. We were just like, I mean, we weren't selling too much online at that point and we had no cafe orders. So it's different now for sure. But there was a point where we were just like, we're going on tour, get your orders in because it's going to be two months before you can order again.
02:36:54
Speaker
With Bayside and you guys being public figures, I would assume that a decent amount of your business comes from direct to consumer. Are you guys proportionally more direct to consumer or working with your wholesale and retail partners? It's more wholesale and retail now, yeah, for sure.
02:37:15
Speaker
That's awesome. The pandemic was, it started to, it was probably the busiest we were on direct to consumer because so many people were just making coffee at home. So that was a lot more consistent, but now it's kind of back to where it was, but as far as direct to consumer goes, but now it's also like so much better for us. Cafe wise, like we have,
02:37:42
Speaker
three pretty big accounts here and then probably, I don't know, four or five smaller accounts. It's great because it's more than we've ever done and it's still pretty manageable. Those B2C accounts have so much better retention than any direct to consumer relationship that you'll ever build. Yeah, absolutely. When you're starting a coffee roasting company, it's neat because, and I'm obviously not explaining this to you, certainly more than I do, but
02:38:09
Speaker
It's pretty neat in that if you're interested in coffee and you want to start a coffee-related business, there's a lot less risk to opening up a small-scale operation from your home than opening a cafe, hiring employees, power-ups, quitting your job. What was the capacity of your initial roaster? Do you remember what you spent on it? It was just 2K, so 2 kilos.
02:38:32
Speaker
Yeah. So basically, you know, it would be per 11 to 12 minutes, we would basically net like two and a half retail bags. So it just got to a point, like we worked that thing to, you know, we worked ourselves to the bone. When we finally got like a, an account that was like 40 pounds a week, we had like, for no reason other than our roaster was too small, we were to have like full days that we were roasting because we were basically
02:39:01
Speaker
I don't even know how many, I don't remember whatever two kilos is, it's like one something pound, you know, like we'd have to do like so many, so many roasting profiles per day and then package them and deliver them. So it just became a point where it was like inefficient where we like sold that roaster because we outgrew it. And then we've just kind of found our way, whether it was renting time on bigger roasters or whatever, we kind of just figured
02:39:32
Speaker
figured out our way, but we were, I think we sold that roaster during the pandemic. Because at that point we were like, we are too busy to be roasting on this thing anymore. Like we're working.
02:39:43
Speaker
My biggest fear with legal speed or really starting any business is having a full-time job that doesn't pay full-time money. That's always been my biggest thing with legal speed. It has to stay a certain size right now or else we're going to have a lot of overhead.
02:40:06
Speaker
we get all of the money we make is going to go to our overhead and not to us. Right now it's in a really good spot where we put in time, we put in work, the brand is growing, we get more accounts every month, but it's manageable. The last thing I want to do in any sense is to
02:40:27
Speaker
have any sort of entity where the overhead is so much money that we have to work just to pay that off. And like I mentioned earlier, I built up so much equity being a musician in the last almost
02:40:45
Speaker
30 years at this point, that free time is part of my payment of being in a van. I don't want to mess with my free time. I'm using my free time to pursue things that I like, but the last thing I want is to work 40 hours a week just to pay financing a roaster, pay for a warehouse, whatever. That's the last thing I want to do. This would be the funniest plug to go viral. If our plug for
02:41:13
Speaker
for your coffee were to really hit it and it just causes a huge headache and you don't really make any money or get anything from it. The product is excellent though and quality and even your packaging, it's really, really well packaged. It ships extremely quickly.
02:41:33
Speaker
Yeah, we're on top of it. Is it LegalSpeedCoffee.com? LegalSpeed.Coffee. LegalSpeed.Coffee, and we'll give him the opt-out at the end of the episode. It says call whether you go or not. Don't overwhelm, maybe by one.
02:41:48
Speaker
You know, let's not go crazy about one bag. They can handle one bag. Legal Speed Coffee, it's exceptional. I personally got the Talima from Columbia. Yep. Halfway through the bag. It was great. And it's very good. We had initially planned to do this episode back in December and we ended up rescheduling, but my coffee grinder had broken and
02:42:15
Speaker
Was gonna have to use a weed grinder so that I can be like authentic with our show But then that's almost worse because then I'm ruining your product Some of the cheapest weed South Carolina I'll say this if you do whatever you want to do with legal speed after you buy it Do whatever you want. It's fine
02:42:40
Speaker
Yeah. Oh, that's great. Other companies need to endorse that exact, like, phrasing the message. Do whatever you want with our mill. It's going to expire on the 8th, so do whatever you want with it in the meantime. Life's short, ain't it?
02:42:55
Speaker
I had another question that I wanted to try to cut to, and this was probably the one I was most excited to bring up. As a well-documented New York Rangers fan, we want to express empathy for all of the sports fans in New York stuck under the calloused thumb of James Dolan. How awful that must be. But the silver lining in all of it is Bayside's very own The Walking Wounded made it on the soundtrack for NHL 08.
02:43:20
Speaker
I know you're a big hockey fan. What does it mean to you to have your music in an NHL game? And do you remember what your reaction was when you heard that noose? Yeah, I mean, I was pumped. I'm still pumped. I wish we could have been a repeat customer, you know, like I wish they would have, especially some of our newer songs are way more jock jammy.
02:43:39
Speaker
But yeah, it was great. I mean, the James Dolan thing is real, you know, like it's, I think we're, because of the internet and also because it's true, I think we're seeing, you know, billionaire people just literally be nuts. Like having too much money makes you nuts. So he, a couple of years ago, fired their GM and coach who were, well, not the coach, but their GM and president who were doing great and building the team from scratch.
02:44:07
Speaker
He was in a bad mood one day after a game and fired them, and it's just like, man, I don't think you should just do that. But yeah, I mean, he's way more... It was the first time that I remember in my New York Rangers fandom that he screwed with the Rangers, because he usually screws with the Knicks. So I'm always like, ooh, okay.
Sports Fandom and Personal Reflection
02:44:25
Speaker
At least he doesn't mess with the Rangers. And then he finally did, and it just felt dirty. Really did.
02:44:31
Speaker
Yeah, it's like every bad contract he gives to a Nick is like time. He didn't spend in the Rangers offices. Yeah Fully and and they were in the meantime. They were like they were running well and and they still are but um But yeah, it's uh
02:44:49
Speaker
I really only like hockey, so it's New York sports, you know, people, when they find out I like the Rangers and they're like, jets are giants. I'm like, I really don't. Like, I really only watch hockey. So I don't have a year-long thing where I like hate myself because my teams always suck. You know, it's like, I spent all my time with the Rangers from like late September to however long they play that year. And then I take the summer off. It seems like a lot for,
02:45:17
Speaker
I think that's why people are crazy is because they just have sports teams that they follow year in, year out, every day. And if their livelihood depends on that team doing well and the team hardly ever does well, it's like, you're going to go nuts. Just give yourself a break.
02:45:33
Speaker
Yeah. And just by default, if there's a championship, only one team at a time can win. So no matter how well your organization is run, you're going to have a streak where you're just god awful by sheer luck or incompetence. You're sitting there at home from work, the jags lost again.
02:45:53
Speaker
Pizza rolls are nine dollars. You know like yeah, it's just got to be hard blood the Sports benefiting you when it's going well as unlike anything else in the world truly um Are the ranges in the right direction right now? I haven't fought hockey in a while
02:46:10
Speaker
They had a great year last year out of nowhere, not full on, start to finish, good year. They were finding themselves for half the year, did okay towards the end of the year, and then went on a great run. They were one of the last four teams last year. It's been very up and down this year, so it was a step backwards from where I thought there would be, but they're winning right now, which is cool. Currently, at the time of this recording, they're winning.
02:46:35
Speaker
I don't know, like I get very introspective about things that I like and I've liked the Rangers since I was like 12, I would say. And I just, sometimes I feel like I'm like actually not a sports fan because I don't care about things that other sports fans care about. Like I think in general, a vast majority of sports fans just want their team to win so they could say they're better than you, you know, like, and I don't have that in me. Like I want the Rangers to win because I want them to play well. And when they finally win, I'm going to be happy.
02:47:03
Speaker
Like, it's not going to be about like shoving it in the face of the team that they beat, you know? And like that's so much of like a sports fan's personality is just being better. And most of the time, their reality, they're not better than anyone, you know? Like, so it's a- How funny is it when people come in and they're talking about somebody and they're just like, oh yeah, he's a Cowboys fan. Like unironically, the way they'll be like pee, like a grown man will say like pee.
02:47:32
Speaker
It's it's worn on the sleeve of a lot of people but I do feel like sports is divided into two categories because there's there's like the asshole side of it where you just want to rub it in and it's me over you and Then there's the undiagnosed autism side of it with me and my girlfriend's dad who was in town visiting us for a couple things
02:47:49
Speaker
There's this thing that like men can do where they could just like go back and forth saying athletes' names. Oh, totally. And you're just like, oh, yeah. Remember, we watched the Len Sanity documentary and you're like, oh, do you remember how good Roy Hibbert was? He was like an NBA player for the Pacers.
02:48:04
Speaker
Then you just have the same memories as the other person and then they'll say, remember this person. You're not saying anything, but you're connected. Yeah, it's wild. I mean, me and my friends from Long Island will just name like out of nowhere. Someone will just text, you know, in the text thread, say like a random nineties goaltender.
02:48:24
Speaker
And then it just goes on for like 20 minutes, you know? Like, no one's saying anything. And all it is is like Don Bopre, you know, like it just keeps going. It's like Grant Fuhrer. It's like, oh my God, we're just naming Goldies again. We do it like once a year at least. Do you play the NHL games or did you at least for the one that you made it on?
02:48:45
Speaker
I don't have very many regrets in life, but one of them is not continuing to game. I stopped at PlayStation 2 because I was literally was like, I think I still lived in my parents' basement at the time and I was like, man, I'm really wasting my life playing these video games. Fast forward 20 years, people are making money playing video games. That's one bad decision I made, but I used to love that era of
02:49:09
Speaker
playing NHL was just getting into creating a player. So of course I've put myself on the Rangers and start a career and all this stuff like that. And then I literally did not play until the beginning of the pandemic. My friend had an extra PS4 and I downloaded NHL and just had to relearn how to play basically. But I went directly back to what I did, which was created myself, started a career.
02:49:36
Speaker
Yeah. I put myself on the Rangers. I didn't do like the online gaming thing, so. We didn't ask for your measurement when you're creating yourself. Are you accurately giving those or are you like six foot nine somehow? Man, that's a good question. I do not know. It's a matter of the game. Yeah, yeah, I do not know because I'm five nine and I feel like I would be noticeably shorter on the ice. So I don't, I might've bumped myself up modestly to like a round it up to six feet or something.
02:50:07
Speaker
You deserve that.
Technical Challenges and Upcoming Events
02:50:08
Speaker
There's an anecdote I found when we were doing the research for your episode about NHL08, and I don't know if you're familiar with this at all. Did you know that in NHL08, as well as other computer programs from that similar time, they're a part of an upcoming Y2K-like event in January of 2038? What? This is interesting.
02:50:31
Speaker
So there were some of the first things that were coded in C programming, and there's a limitation that might be brought on by what's called Unix time, in which computers store time value as the number of seconds that have passed since January 1st, 1970.
02:50:49
Speaker
The data type is a 32-bit signed integer and maxes out at $2,147,836. I'm not even finishing that number. I did my best. After which, it loops back to a negative and causes the system to think it's December 13, 1901. It's called the 2038 problem.
02:51:13
Speaker
There's literally within, I'm just getting back to my cap here, within like the text code to a lot of games from that era, there are notes that'll say like this game will not be accessible or playable after January of 2038. Interesting. Is there anything that would actually be from that era affected? Because no one's playing NHL 2008 right now, you know?
02:51:39
Speaker
People trying to do speedruns of old games, maybe. There's some Twitch troopers, they don't wake up on a disappointing January 20th morning. They just partied hard from MLK weekend, preparing for Valentine's Day.
02:51:55
Speaker
MLK is, does anyone know what day MLK day is on? Is it the 18th? Is that right? No idea. It's okay, we can cut that. Nick, we really appreciate you taking the time to be with us tonight. Of course. We're huge fans just talking to you has been really exceptional. We want to give you the opportunity to promote your upcoming tour. You guys are touring next month starting in February, right?
02:52:22
Speaker
Yep, the 10th just like home tour kicks off in Houston, I believe, and runs through like the middle of March. Can't wait to see you guys in Baltimore and driving from Pittsburgh to Baltimore. That's good. Are you bringing that girl that you've been talking to? Are you talking to me? I know he's not talking to me. Are you bringing that girl that you've been talking to? I'm coming with Ryan.
02:52:53
Speaker
What's wrong with the girl? She's not comfortable. I'm manifesting this for you. I'm trying to help. Thank you very much. We appreciate having you on. We'll talk to you. Yeah, of course. Probably in like 40 more minutes. Do you want to come on and do a third one? Yeah, yeah.
02:53:16
Speaker
If you stuck with us this long, we want to say thank you for this abomination of an episode. I'd say abortion, but I'm in a red state. I'm sorry.
Podcast Creation Journey
02:53:25
Speaker
This is episode one, and we are so grateful that you're here and stuck through it with us. It's exploratory for us. We have a lot of fun, and I just want to zoom out a little bit and talk about how we got here very, very quickly.
02:53:42
Speaker
In 2016, I pitched the idea of maybe starting like a late night style like web show with some buddies. Like could we do iCarly but like we're older and should have better stuff to do? Because that's a cool idea. I'm often into that. And...
02:53:58
Speaker
I look back and that's like six or seven years ago. And I remember when I was 20, I would hear people talk about how they would have a creative venture and they're like, yeah, man, I remember we had the idea originally like eight years ago and then it took us like four years to act on it that we finally did and it was this and it was that.
02:54:17
Speaker
I would have the thought of, how did it take you four years to act on it? And young, naive, and mature, 20 years old, I didn't understand what people meant when they talked about life getting in the way. But I would come to learn that, and all of us would, especially Haitian, Haiti, they had that earthquake, they learned. Life got in the fucking way there.
02:54:44
Speaker
Well, it just does. It finds a way to derail you. And here we are six, seven years later, starting when we thought we might be finishing. I drew, I've got this little thing and I'm going to walk up to the camera and I'll be right back. That's going to be horrifically low quality and I certainly understand that, but
02:55:07
Speaker
That is a format for this show that I drew six or seven years ago. What I thought it was going to be, what I thought the product was going to be, how much time we would dedicate to monologues or segments, what kind of guests that we would want. I even drew little stars on it because it's something that I was really passionate about.
02:55:27
Speaker
And then I just let it go. I remember Riley, Ian, it was 2020. It was the beginning of the year we had booked this gorgeous studio on Wilshire in downtown Los Angeles. We'd booked flights and prepared all these really fun guests to make this show. We had everything planned out to a tee, or at least some things planned out to a tee.
02:55:49
Speaker
And the world sort of shut down. Businesses Airport started closing. Our guests canceled one by one. And all of a sudden, I ended up, I lived in Georgia at the time in a state where I knew nobody. I had no friends. I just had to cancel the most important creative venture of my life. And I had no clue what I was doing, where I was going.
02:56:12
Speaker
This was a shitty little show, but it means a lot to us to do. And I'm very grateful for anyone who has gotten the opportunity to be a part of it. Thank you to Chris. Thank you to Nick, links to them and all their works in the description below. And thank you to you guys for sticking with me. And I look forward to just dicking around with you every other week for the next hour, many years. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you. Yeah. Thanks to anybody who watched and listened, except for you.
02:56:41
Speaker
Golfers. Everybody else. What was his name? Podridge? Podridge. I remember, break up with your fucking wife or girlfriend and everything. End it now, Podridge, or whatever your name was. Thank you so much for listening. We'll see you next Friday. Into my voice. Good night. I love you. Good night.