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Start Here // with penguins as our witness, Poorly Educated S2E1
7 Plays4 months ago
Morgan, Ian, and Rylee touch base & reflect about what being Poorly Educated means, as well as debate the legal weight of a penguin alibi.
26:50 - Penguin witness
34:00 - Hollow Earth Revisited
Intro Music: Pledge Drive - Cheekface
Outro Music: When Life Hands You Problems - Cheekface
https://cheekface.bandcamp.com/album/too-much-to-ask
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Humor
00:00:02
Speaker
I'll go first I don't know anything If we must dumpster dive I'll go first I don't know
00:00:14
Speaker
we're back welcome to season two wait we should we should even say like who's back i mean don't we we got to read this we didn't get better at intros that's what happened yeah we we took a break to work on our intros we came back and do you like what you see or hear you're not seeing anything do you hear it you would think the bachelor's degree and intro is literally teach you something but you know sometimes they're just ah degree mills anymore You have a bachelor's degree and intros, and you didn't contribut help me out here. um My name is Morgan. And I'm Riley. I guess I'll throw out there. Yeah, so um this is the first episode you're listening to. That's that's probably for the best. So all just a brief synopsis of who we are.
Origin Story and Early Days
00:01:00
Speaker
In the summer of 2017, we were all in our late teens and early 20s, so naturally,
00:01:08
Speaker
We felt an instinctual, visceral urge to start a podcast. Right. And we should clarify too. but As is the way. This was early, right? This was like almost evolution. We were ah the homo sapiens in the podcast production. ah Yeah, not everyone was doing it yet. We were like... We were that first fish to start going up on land and eating grass.
00:01:31
Speaker
We just felt this weird urge. And I asked my doctor at the time, he said it wasn't unusual in white men my age. It's a little early on a set that it's pretty common any anywhere. It's completely healthy to act on.
00:01:46
Speaker
You shouldn't be ashamed. A lot of kids your age are are having this problem where they just want to get on the mic and yap about shit they know nothing about. So that's what we did, which was to we didn't if I could grab the steering wheel for a moment, the exact thought with the podcast is that, you know what? Let's not pretend we know what we're talking about. Instead, the opposite. i And I remember we were working our shitty college job at a movie theater and we were sitting at the end of the night counting money.
00:02:15
Speaker
when I pitched the idea for the show to you. um And the whole thought was just that like, You know, I think even you said we'll call it poorly educated and you know, it's just like, we don't have to be afraid to be stupid. We could just like ask the questions. Everyone else is afraid to ask, but it kept taking, like we couldn't count the money and talk at the same time, which was so fitting to the discussion that we We'd have to be like one, two, three, four. Yeah, dude. And I think we'd be big six, seven, eight, nine. We did miss five. Shit.
00:02:49
Speaker
we really yeah but i think there is something pure like We didn't know what the podcast was going to be about, but we wanted to explore what it was we didn't know, I guess publicly on the mic. And so for the next like four years, we did that of us not knowing what the fuck we
Evolution and Burnout
00:03:09
Speaker
were talking about. and um You know, if I go back and listen to even like the last episode we did, it's crazy how much like I disagree with so much that I i used to think and also how much funnier I was. Starting a podcast is almost like speed running, finding out what you don't like about yourself.
00:03:40
Speaker
And we got hundreds of episodes deep and it just started to hurt too bad. Every episode there was more pressure. The worst thing you could do in the digital media landscape and anyone who's had a grommulum of success will tell you that is to have a grommulum of success.
00:03:59
Speaker
because this is a grommulum. The second you have the tiniest grommulum of success, all of a sudden you're weighing it against yourself as if you played the Super Bowl and you have to like come back next season and win it again when really you just got like featured on some like not Apple podcast website for a couple months.
00:04:19
Speaker
So we folded under the tiniest amount of ah of pressure when nothing mattered, when we had all the time in the world to do it. Now we pick back up five years later, all with much busier lives and less hope in the world. And we pray to God for a different result. Which God?
Growth and Reflection
00:04:41
Speaker
Yeah, I mean honestly like but I don't know I think at least personally like and we got like I got burned out and I think I needed time to shut the fuck up and listen for a while and Actually put some effort into like having a coherent fucking worldview before I start yapping and And so now I'm in my late 20s and I got it all figured out, baby. I know. I'm definitely not going to but regret anything I say in season two. It's all fucking based bangers. Yeah, surely we'll never look back on this and think, wow, I learned so much since then. We'll think I learned it as much as I possibly have could at 26. And that's all I needed.
00:05:28
Speaker
I'll say this to throw out just a little piece of unrelated advice out here. As somebody who spends a lot of time at airport bars, when you reach your mid to late 20s, you start getting an enormous amount of advice from people later in life. And I found the perfect response because it's uncomfortable getting advice. oh So I found the perfect response when someone's giving you advice to let them know that you're listening and you appreciate them, whether you do or not, it's simple. They say whatever they say to you and you say, look man,
00:05:57
Speaker
After 27 straight years of being wrong about everything. I'm ready to damn listen. You start like shoulder in them, you know? So thank you, buddy. I appreciate it. And that's kind of how I feel about the pod. We're not here to talk. We're here to listen.
00:06:16
Speaker
I'll put on a show for us. Everyone us in 30 minutes of prolonged silence. Yeah, this is a medication cast. We're going to listen. Let's be actually vulnerable for a minute. and I don't want to delve too deep into what we were and what happened, but let's be real. right We always thought that some of our podcast episodes were fine.
00:06:43
Speaker
Every once in a while, we'd even be proud of them. But I think what eventually happened is that and anyone younger than us going through this right now, you'll go through a very similar thing. I'm confident of it. We were putting out quote unquote content before it was as freely named that.
00:06:59
Speaker
very freely and eventually you start associating yourself with the product that you put out into the world and I think at some point insecurity took over, some rightfully founded, some wrongfully founded that sort of made us seize up. I mean, guys, we never had a meeting. There was no like, poorly educated not being picked up for its fourth season.
00:07:26
Speaker
We just kind of got nervous and quit, and then I moved away. let's so it's It's how any college relationship ends, to be honest with you. But that was my perspective on it. What what were your guys' thoughts on things ending? I don't think any of us ever thought we would pick this back up. I mean, I didn't think we wouldn't, because again, it didn't end specifically. I just knew that at that time,
00:07:52
Speaker
I didn't feel like I needed to have a podcast. So I needed to take a break. And I don't know, I think there's something to like, ah the kind of like white guys having a podcast and talking about like, we were in like the pseudoscience area and I didn't want to like,
00:08:17
Speaker
you know, there's there's just a ah crowd that I didn't want to be a part of with that.
Stereotypes and Podcasting Identity
00:08:22
Speaker
But I also felt like we were doing something like, in a lot of ways, we were kind of weaponizing some of that like language and stuff ah for our own purposes. And I just, I don't know. And now I think I'm way more capable of making a podcast that you know is it's just fun and it's not too precious with ideas, but still you know exploring them sincerely. And I think that one way to do that is within the fictional world of a bit.
00:08:56
Speaker
And i like I think within that like space, you can... like Because at our best, we had some very real conversations, and I am really proud of a lot of those episodes. And I think I love that about a podcast is that you can have like a you know a long conversation that's more than the sum of its parts, more than TikTok clips can fully capture.
00:09:20
Speaker
um But I don't know, I think I just wanted to, I don't know, it's like at least for this season two, ah or whatever we're gonna call it, I think it's season two, 120 episodes season one, 121. Yeah, we're doing, and it also, it took us four years to hit 120 episodes, it should have taken us two, but it's we we would say we're gonna put out episodes every Wednesday, and we really put out an episode maybe every other, other, other Wednesday.
00:09:50
Speaker
So very dishonest delivery and that's on us. But I don't know. I'm at a point in my life now where I really want to pull myself out of the kind of murky waters of like mysticism and shit that I floated around in for a few years and try to focus in on something concrete and real and something outside myself. Sure. And I want to help build a space to like share ideas and collaborate. which is it's also you know This is how we stay in contact with friends. I don't think I've talked to you outside of a podcast.
00:10:23
Speaker
Morgan for more than a you know, we need this to be friends we if it's not recorded. I've just found out that I will not ah Pick up the phone or even reply to the protection So it it makes me a bad friend in some ways, but really this is my hobby. It's what I like to do It just makes it so much more fun to like improv together when you're not just bullshitting on the phone and we've had some long phone calls, but When you have the long phone calls is a buddy and we live in different states now. It's so easy to dive into like the And how's your uncle and all of that bullshit when really who the fuck cares? You know, let's laugh. Yeah. Fuck Chris. Nobody cares how my uncle is. Fuck Chris. Fuck that guy. That's what we're saying. Riley, what what did you think about ah us ending? Did you have any thoughts during that period on if we'd ever pick back up again?
00:11:18
Speaker
Yeah, I mean, it definitely, it was never blind on me being a white guy in his twenties having a podcast. Cause clearly I had a lot of world experience, but I do think that, you know, we've always committed to like projecting the idea that we know nothing and we're stupid. We've always been very public about that. So anyone, if, if you know, if you did take us seriously, whenever we were in the past and saying dumb, stupid shit, why, why did you, because we said it was dumb, stupid shit.
00:11:52
Speaker
just No, exactly. It's like we advertised. We're like, no, no, no, no, no, no. We're not. We're not trying to be like what white men.
00:12:04
Speaker
want to be perceived as, we're trying to be what white men are perceived as. We're doing it for the love of the game is what we're fucking saying.
00:12:19
Speaker
I genuinely think that we can create something like a bit more cohesive and and focused and, ah you know, worthy of attention. And you know, season two is going to be all bangers, I'm sure.
00:12:33
Speaker
but I think what Riley said too is is important. like it's like the idea that we I think this podcast needs to be is explicit in a sense, ah just in the framing of how much like improv and just bits we're doing, that sure the ideas that we're going on about are not to be believed, but to be entertained, which is like a subtle difference. where we're just like We can entertain some of these fucking ideas and while critiquing them and making fun of them and embodying their stupidness at times, and that ah shines a light on it.
00:13:10
Speaker
ah certainly Certainly and I guess one of my last thoughts on that that whole period there I guess two things one thing quickly I like that since you started dating Elise after I moved I haven't met her so her entire perception of me is gonna be based on whatever episode she listens to of this podcast That's fun for me to know That's fun for me to know ahead of time You do realize that's also true for just anyone who listens to this podcast but doesn't. Yeah but you don't have the personal consequences of knowing most of the audience.
00:13:44
Speaker
I guess I had always thought that we just had 16,000 buddies. I really had never really considered that all of them didn't know me personally. I think between all of our friends and their Facebook group, ah yeah, 16,000 is about right. I think that's close, but i mean we're just talking like your core, your core guys.
00:14:08
Speaker
Probably have like 16 grand core guys and then, you know, the frill, the people that you don't see aside from the high school reunion or the Walmart, but you avoid them in there.
Personal Lives and Connections
00:14:18
Speaker
Now the other thing that I'm thinking, I just want to be honest about some of the insecurities that I felt when we were doing the show originally too in that, you know, when you're doing a podcast live and things are going on, you almost, it's funny because it would help to broadcast that authenticity. But when we were young, it almost felt worse to say like, dude, we're. Not very funny right now. We're not having a good episode. And something that would happen often, we would start a recording and if we couldn't get going soon, it's almost like there was this like growing panic in the room where we're all looking around at each other like, well, why don't you fucking guys say anything funny?
00:14:58
Speaker
we We're 45 minutes in. And we're like, we're trying to play ping pong and we can't hit the ball on the fucking pitch. You know what I mean? like So part of this is just praying to God that there's a little bit more maturity. And funnily enough, after everything that we said, less caring about what people think. I mean, we've spent 10 minutes talking about not wanting to be white guys with the podcast.
00:15:22
Speaker
Now I'm trying to convince you we don't care what you think of us, but I would hope that we've grown in a way that it's performative for performance's sake rather than for a specific reaction or result that we hope to gain out of it long term.
00:15:41
Speaker
I'm also, at least with any ideas I bring up, I think i want it to be i think that this can be more collaborative too in this with like any potential listener. like I'm very open to, you know especially with some of the some of the plans I'm not gonna get into and that we I've got for the season, um I think can be very like ah more community driven and I think stupid. ah It's stupid. I think stupid. I think stupid. I think we can all think stupid together. but
00:16:19
Speaker
You in therapy. My brain broke because I was licking some batteries. Sorry, man, I think stupid sometimes. I just that's like what you would say to try to convince someone that you weren't trying to like kiss them.
00:16:37
Speaker
hed Like a little leaning. Excuse me. yeah Sorry, I was thinking stupid. That was stupid me. yeah Well, that leads us into we talked about where we were Where have we where have we been personally, you know, like what it's been four years. It feels like what what have we been up to? Let's just do the hits here yeah we worked a lot like a lot a lot we got angrier yeah because of the work one might say we're gonna be screaming we're gonna get into it this is the season where I think we're poorly educated and we're fucking mad at it yeah
00:17:18
Speaker
Who let me be the statistically well you we are with most of America on that one unfortunately Yeah, I think oh, yeah, that was another reason that I think I so we we stopped doing the podcast is we got one of the worst You know praises from one of the you know, sometimes like they say all good presses are Or wait, all press is good press, like bad press is good press. Sure, sure, sure, sure, sure. But I don't know if we wanted this. Yeah, go for it. I know. Poorly educated. I love the poorly educated.
00:17:55
Speaker
ah
00:17:59
Speaker
There's a real quote of Trump saying, I love the poorly educated and then it cuts off like his mic kind of cuts out right when he says podcast. I think the crowd got the idea. They were cheering. high Well, that's the big, the deep state, you know, the swamp. They don't want you to know about us. We've been selling swamp plug the podcast summer.
00:18:23
Speaker
we we ask We do ask the questions. The government is scared we'll ask and and God is afraid we'll answer. Yeah. in ah We've always said too, it's not even that we're even asked the questions. It's almost like our brains were coded with an answer key to all of life's questions. It's just we we lost ah we lost what the list of questions are. so like We just have the answers yeah and we're trying to reverse engineer um what that means.
00:18:53
Speaker
and we're doing it live on air, as we should. Ian, where have you been? I've been, you know, spelunking, exploring. um You know, I've made some new friends, making some contacts, getting some fucking ideas, doing some research, hunkering down. He comes home muddy as fuck, is what he means. He comes home covered in mud. Going out in the mud. Well, fucking, it's hard to not get mud on you when you're digging so goddamn much. It's hard to get it out of the carpet, too.
00:19:26
Speaker
um mean I've become a whole guy. Yeah. Oh, I do that. and I would fist bump you right now. but One of the first things I was like in one of the first dates with my girlfriend, we fucking dug, dug a hole. It is nice too. It's like, and we found some things, but um I don't want to talk about them too much. I don't know who might be listening. There's nothing as emotionally, physically, mentally and sexually satisfying as putting that metal in the dirt, lifting up and throwing over your damn shoulder, too.
Absurd Ideas and Humorous Reflections
00:20:04
Speaker
Like it just it satisfies every muscle group in your body, including your brain.
00:20:10
Speaker
See, I like the, uh, if, if, you know, you're right handed, right? You, you use your right hand as your leverage arm when you dig. Uh, I like to turn back to my left to dump it. That way I'm using my full range of motion on my back and it it reduces wear and tear.
00:20:28
Speaker
Well, I got these like specialized gloves that give me like little like mole claws that help me just like chuck the dirt behind me. like I use both hands. It's like a little shovel for each finger. That seems like a rehearsed reason why you have those gloves.
00:20:46
Speaker
Well, we know you have to. I promise it's for but it's for digging. Yeah, I'm digging with this. Digging is the grossest way to say fingering, but it's also true. It's not what I meant. Dude, I'm dig. um I'm I'm mulling around. It's not that it's actually mulling, which gives me an idea for a fucking a reality show.
00:21:12
Speaker
um And I'm just sort of spitballing here, completely unrelated to science, the podcast, or anything else. But maybe we do this instead of another season of this show. But what do you guys think about like a porn version of Silent Library?
00:21:28
Speaker
um Remind me what silent library is. sole a I know it's it's it's like that. I remember it. I just don't remember the point of it. They had like now doing groce like challenges like a little thing in the middle that would be like, all right, this round, everybody's got to like fart as loud as they can. And the librarian is going to yell at you. Yeah, it was and but it was like a hired library. Like it was like a set. i Yeah.
00:21:53
Speaker
Funny. So who cares? It was MTV Trash. It was great. No, it was awesome. But I'm just saying, you you have to dig, but you have to dig quiet enough. And then all you guys are laughing because it's just like, what are those gloves that you're wearing? and Kind of. Where did you get those? The mall? What mall? Like, trying the National Mall. The Library of Congress.
00:22:22
Speaker
You guys both gave the oldmanic library less than zero information about where you've been, so I'll i'll divulge a little bit. um We lived together during the last episode. We don't live together now. My question to you guys, what happened? What happened to us? You left because we're still in the same basement.
00:22:42
Speaker
out Wait, i ah what did you guys do that made me leave? What did we get? Tell us what the fuck's so wrong with us that you had to run like states away the second time. You guys, if I ever move back to town again, you will never believe that I'm back in town for long. and Yeah. um One of my biggest regrets, I moved to Georgia in 2019 and.
00:23:10
Speaker
I was just super stressed and and worried about it and the situation was extremely complicated. So I decided to move basically within about 10 days. But I told you guys generally I was moving and I didn't tell you where and I did not make time to see everybody again before I left. And Ian held me accountable and he stopped he stopped by my work. Thank God. And we had our goodbye hug. and
00:23:39
Speaker
I think about that all the time, it was very kind of you. You got disadvantaged. Yeah, but I've vanished. I'm that kind of person, and in the last couple years, that's what I've figured out about myself, is that I can't stand one place too far. To be fair, do not blame you for leaving this region. I just, I blame you for getting so far away from my heart.
00:24:06
Speaker
Man, it's my fault, but a thousand percent. But the fucking greater Pittsburgh region. Oh man, I've heard since I left it's gotten pad.
00:24:18
Speaker
they keep They keep telling me, what are you coming back? What are you coming back? oh No, and I can't stop it now. Now that I've moved so much, I've moved like every year and a half for a while. I just got an email the other day to sign a lease and it'll be the third lease offs I've signed here. They said you have 10 days to decide.
00:24:36
Speaker
And it's making me feel really flighty. And I'm trying to convince my girlfriend to move to Vancouver or New York, or I ah was thinking about up applying to some jobs in Antarctica.
00:24:47
Speaker
Wait, you can't. So this is your problem. you go You're somewhere cold, then you go somewhere at the extreme opposite of hot. And then you're like it's like, I'll go back up north again. And then you come to Pittsburgh. You're like, what can winter you? I need the heat. I'm going to South Carolina. And then you get down there and you're like, fucking no. Now I'm going to go to Vancouver.
00:25:07
Speaker
Like, it'll be no you want to dixburg you want to be warm and you just are lying to yourself that you want to go. And then you said an argument. Don't let slide. or they They literally have to shovel the snow daily off of the fucking front door. So I work from home. Now you do. I am planning an expedition named article. If you would like to go, I would love to go. ah They're hiring at McMurdo station for a cook. They pay 750 a week. I have to imagine they'll accept any application that comes through.
00:25:37
Speaker
You get complete room and board while you're there. um I don't think you can bring a plus one, but I bet if you work two, it's fine. If you come with me, we're going to be digging. yeah I saw something where, I don't know if it still works, but on Google, if you go on like Google Earth, there's like a feature that lets you like outline a continent, and then it measures that distance that you could you like draw a square, basically. And it'll tell you what that distance is. It'll measure it for you. And it works for a moment like everywhere, except for the North and South Pole, where it like glitches out and goes around it.
00:26:16
Speaker
night su sp I don't like that. I'm trying to find ah what you're talking about, and I can't find that, but what I did... You won't. You don't have my sources. I don't have fast enough internet. I'm in freaking Antarctica right now. no um My source is from Antarctica. that's Your source is a penguin.
00:26:44
Speaker
um many I feel like this might be crazy to say, but if I'm being, oh OJ just died, so I've got murder on the brain, and I'm thinking that if i if you have like ah a character reference that testifies for you in court, and it's a penguin, probably not helping.
00:27:02
Speaker
But is there an amount of penguins that are more trustworthy than one or two human references? Like if a whole country's worth of penguins. um Well, I'm just saying if a whole country's worth of penguins vouched for you emotionally and heartfelt, like what is that equation? How many penguins equals the reliability and trust that a human because the first one you would immediately be like, all right, well, that thing you probably taught it to say that I can't say anything else.
00:27:29
Speaker
Well, no, I would I would say decimal points, actually, because if a penguin truly did say heartfelt, then, you know, that's worth more than any than like a ah number of people. Like I would say a heartfelt speech from a penguin is worth the speech of at least five men.
00:27:46
Speaker
Oh, so five humans is equal to one. Is it speaking? Yeah. ah No, it's no. They can't. Yeah, like they can't, right? How are they vouching for you? They just like. I mean, it's speaking penguin. Certainly. Yeah, like pointing and like squawking about.
00:28:02
Speaker
ah Maybe it eats a fish. It's clear to the jury that the penguin is exonerating the kind of yeah yeah and it crime didn't involve penguins either. Like it's like not, it's not like so important he's there like, Oh, I like this guy. He didn't, he didn't hurt us. No, it's like, I swear he didn't rob that bank is what he's trying to get across. How much does it yeah how much does it matter? Does the amount of penguins have to be different if the penguins weren't there? And they're just like... Oh, over Zoom? That's a lot more penguins, I would say. A lot more. Yeah, you need way more penguins to vouch for you if you rob the bank where there were no penguins present. Because what are you going to train an AI to replicate thousands of penguins all saying the same thing at once? Well, they were watching the security camera like the penguins of Madagascar.
00:28:55
Speaker
Those are not trust my penguins clandestine Operations watching you commit fucking bank robbery so there's one version of this where you commit a crime and you say um Bring ah bring my first witness to the stand and then making a jury of your peers watch all of happy feet
Future Identity and Opportunities
00:29:15
Speaker
There's a second version of this where if it's not a penguin related crime and a penguin does travel to the destination, the jury probably does take into account the enormous hassle that is, and that probably speaks to the authenticity of the character reference that it gives you. you know It really scares me about ah if I ever have to go on trial. is I don't know if I've eaten 12 pears to have a full jury of them. second it's It's a lot. I mean, that's a lot of pears. It's a lot of sand.
00:29:48
Speaker
Yeah. Do you have to eat the core of this? Like a jury of your pairs? Jury of your pairs. I've never heard that. What do you need a penguin here to tell you? How many penguins does it take for you and if I can understand a jury of pairs?
00:30:05
Speaker
It's supposed to be peers. Is that what you told? It's a pun. Oh.
00:30:17
Speaker
So what we're trying to say is that we've been good, man. For the what have we been doing right? but We've been good, dog. Who cares what we've been doing? It's about what we're going to do. And what we're going to do is make the best goddamn season of podcast you've ever heard in your life. Mm hmm. Preach. We got it all figured out. I know I'm ready to fucking.
00:30:43
Speaker
you know Well, let's talk about blow up the the logistics of this real quick because this is our first time ever in podcasting that we're not independent. Yeah, we're signed. So years ago, and if if anyone's familiar, you probably yeah if you've ever seen a drive-by dog's tattoo on the calf of someone wearing cargo shorts, all the power to you. But for any of you guys who may not be aware of us,
00:31:08
Speaker
We were pretty big in the game. I mean, it's and we were ass legit. It's like we we had the smallest. No, we got to work on this misinformation, bro. oh wait I'm losing track of what parts are lies or not. That's what this shows us out, baby. Let's keep keep it going. For for people who aren't aware, we ran what was almost an illegal operation of one of America's first independent podcast networks dating back to 2014. We had a tiny little office in a small coal mining town in West Virginia, or what might have been, um that had no air conditioning, no heat, no insulation.
00:31:54
Speaker
And no business, too. I mean, but how dare us even calling ourselves a business? And we did OK, but if we were going to come back. You know, we're just older and we we need a little bit more time, so we wanted to find the right partner to make this work. This is very real, right? I called Ian and Ian had been working on a comeback silently without me knowing for quite some time, which I think is so funny that that's how it happened, but I called you maybe a month and a half ago and I asked you ah a dual-sided question. It was, hey,
00:32:28
Speaker
I'm restarting some of our older pods. We're looking for a partner. I'd love to do poorly educated again. If you're not interested, I even prefaced because I thought you were that not interested. ah Would you be okay if I did something with the IP? um And you were so interested and that made me feel so relieved and I don't even know that I really plan to do anything. i just
00:32:51
Speaker
I don't know, it it it was cool. So we went to the drawing board and we thought about all of the deficiencies, stuff like audio quality, budget, ah source of our information, we we couldn't afford like a producer before. um and And we kind of went looking onto the market, and I'll let you kind of take it from there, Ian.
Exploring Conspiracy Theories
00:33:09
Speaker
Yeah, I've been working ah been working behind the scenes with a an insider um who will choose to remain anonymous. so i got He's just like a new pen pal who has been sending us some finances. um He heard an episode, one specific episode of our podcast, and and he was just a big fan who I just love some of the ideas we were bouncing around, specifically one episode in particular. And he really requested a lot more um of that kind of content. And it ah kind of threw me off, made me worry a little bit, because the kind of content that he wants us to make is a little bit of that ah
00:33:55
Speaker
you know conspiracy theory style oh dude well the request we got for infer cult content are you kidding me i mean we were we were in well before this true crime era Yeah, I mean, I definitely like and we dabbled in it very early on in some pretty out there shit. and Like, it's, you know, there's one episode in particular, where, you know, i I came to you guys with a little bit of a theory that I was, you know, bouncing around in my own head.
00:34:29
Speaker
And I was pretty, you got, I was pretty openly ridiculed. Yeah, well, Edelman sent me a clip of that. Do you want me to play that? Yeah, we actually do. We do have a clip from episode 23 of Poorly Educated. That's a deep cut. Don't go back and listen. It's a deep, deep cut. And that episode was called, well, you'll hear. Let's check it out. I, Ian Whitfield, am a hollow earther.
00:35:00
Speaker
Why? I know the truth. Why? Why? Beneath our world lies another. Upside down, yet parallel world. Almost no different than ours. Let's let him go a little bit, so that he can get this out. The sun is a bright red in the inhabitants of this inner world. I can't. What the fuck are you talking about? You're a romantic man. Listen. Think about what you think you know about down. What is it?
00:35:27
Speaker
A bunch of, like, rock lava and limestone or whatever? No, not a bunch of brimstone. The different segments of our Earth's corp. You have the inner-outer corp. Not only is that uninteresting. Not only do I not care. And it's suspiciously convenient enough of an answer to keep us from wanting to dig down. It's simply phony bullshit, is what it is. Guys, there's a freaking fly crawling on his eyeball while I read this.
00:35:58
Speaker
You can get inside the Hollow Earth from a series of holes at either the North or South Pole. Is this where you are when I try to call you and it says the wireless surf human region is unavailable? You could enter and witness the perfect man. It's beneath us. So I want to start at an expedition. I want to find the holes in the poles.
00:36:22
Speaker
Alright, let's just make this believe a couple couple minutes longer. Because this is a 50 minute show. How about enlighten your eye, your mind, your eye mind. Yeah,
00:36:36
Speaker
ah yeah I mean, that was pretty, you guys were pretty harsh on me, but clearly, I mean, it was a bit. i think that's that was pretty clear We were having a laugh you know but in that in that clip. I have always loved it because Cameron our old buddy laughs like Oh, I thought Riley just sounded yeah, my voice was deeper in ah in a different way and my voice I'm hitting 26 by the way, so you'll occasionally hear it crack you double sounded almost like Elon Musk Cameron laughs like a woodland spirit is inside of an animal that's watching you fall down. Like, he's like... He's a druid player. um No, but, okay, all right to be clear, i've I've been interested in this Hollow Earth idea, but I don't think it's necessary to actually believe it. I actually discourage you believing me when it comes to this stuff.
00:37:31
Speaker
Um, but I will argue passionately over the course of this season in favor Of the value in imagining a symbolically authentic utopia that exists in the hallow earth. I do think that I don't know what it was about like but researching this and talking about this and just to give you a brief history for me I I think I first like heard about this about like the hollow earth in a John Hodgman, the like author has a book series of fake trivia. It's like an almanac of fake knowledge. ah And it's just like a comedically written.
00:38:19
Speaker
actually have it with me right here. He has an entire segment about the hollow earth that I just i found it really funny and interesting. but like It's way older than any other conspiracy theory. can i like i think go ahead Can I real quickly just advocate on the audience's behalf for devilish activities? What would be the devilish activity you're advocating for? ah So devil's advocate,
00:38:47
Speaker
Hollow Earth, episode 23 of Poorly Educated. And I'm just saying that as your friend, I just have to say this, we went from a podcast that didn't matter to number 21, right below Bill Burr's podcast and the iTunes comedy charts, right? i I guess I'm just, and I say this as your buddy and you've convinced me, but we're coming back. You're talking about mole people again. Is there any world where And it's a freaking cash grab.
00:39:23
Speaker
Is there anywhere all this is a cash grab? Because I'm looking at PNC Bank right now, and they charge $5 a month for the checking account. So I know you've got it. And I just wonder where from. I mean, it is it has been trending lately. It's like the Godzilla movies like used the Hollow Earth as a setting recently. The Godzilla V Kong and X Kong or whatever. They go to the Hollow Earth. I feel like the idea is like,
00:39:46
Speaker
There's like a weird see and that's the thing is like I when I first learned about this, I kind of like assume that nobody was really taking it seriously. But if you like search Hollow Earth on TikTok, you will be bombarded with the most obscene like AI acted and AI images describing it.
00:40:07
Speaker
with a level of like seriousness that frightens me. And it's a surprising community that um seems to be taking it a little bit too seriously. I think you can like entertain some of these ideas without believing them.
00:40:25
Speaker
And I think what's interesting about the holo-er specifically is that like, so the idea that the earth is holo-er contains a substantial subterranean space. It's like historically, it's been entertained as like a real scientific possibility by like Edmund Haley, who like Haley's Comet is named after.
00:40:47
Speaker
um But like other than that, it's mostly like it's been a source of imaginative fiction for like, like you know, like Journey to the Center of the Earth. Great franchise. And there's there's also I've learned that there's an unfortunate tie in with a guy named Adolf Hitler, who I just want to be clear.
00:41:11
Speaker
Not big fans of here. We think he's kind of the worst. Hey, no, buddy, we've said it. Listen listen back. We said it. We had a few episodes ago, aka a few years ago, we had an entire conversation about. ah going back and not being able to kill baby Hitler but trying to but taking him and trying to raise him ah to be better. Dude, it's so funny that you said it. Drawing a little Hitler mustache on him so we can tell it's him. I was just thinking the other day, you know how everybody says that they they're like, yeah you well, ah if I can go back and kill baby Hitler, I would and so and stuff like that.
00:41:48
Speaker
ah completely get it, hear you. What I'd like you to imagine though is what if somebody came back in time to assassinate your baby, right? So you're just sitting there, your baby's just born, they come through a wormhole, they slice its heart open and they leave. Immediately, you have to look to your wife and be like, probably for the best, right?
00:42:08
Speaker
but What was he going to do? This is actually exactly the conversation we had two years ago. sick I just listened to like from like like the last podcast we did We're the same people. You brought it up in the same way. Just worse.
00:42:25
Speaker
um But and but it's just real quick, um yeah let me defend this for a second here, because like Hitler is rumored to have subscribed to this esoteric conspiracy theory. And there's like rumors that he had like a Nazi scientist train an infrared telescope at the sky, because he actually thought we were like,
00:42:49
Speaker
on the interior of the like convex earth so like we would be like on the inner lining of the eggshell so he thought he could spy on the british fleet by pointing a camera at the sky
00:43:04
Speaker
right Which is pretty fucking stupid. Big L for Hitler. um Major Hitler L revealed breaking news in the poorly asked podcast. But I think broadly, the idea of like a subterranean world is much older than like any of those examples. In fact, I think it's it's interesting because it's like, unlike a lot of other conspiracy theories, it's it's probably older than recorded history because in like mythology and folklore and legends, the idea of a realm or a kingdom within the earth is like tied to, it's entwined with cross-cultural concepts of the underworld and the afterlife shirt across different mythologies and stuff. So unlike the modern conspiracy theory, myth in that sense is not burdened with the assumption that it has to be taken as literally true.
00:43:56
Speaker
like a myth is true in the way that a metaphor or a poem is true in that it like points to a larger truth that's difficult to touch with language. So I think I find the hollow earth a very versatile and dynamic setting for like new ecological utopian myths and it's like I just think about like you know I think the hero's journey and think and myths about like an individual like hero, ah like you know these have become stale and overused in Hollywood, like these same myths. So I think it's very interesting and like important to think about like what kind of myths do we need to be telling right now in the current context of the world. And I think you know as far as a setting for those myths,
00:44:49
Speaker
you know The Hollow Earth is uniquely local and historical. like It's not just some like planet somewhere else, if you're ima using it as like a setting for imaginative fiction. it's To imagine what type of like societies might exist.
00:45:04
Speaker
is not just like imagining what type of side these could be constructed in the hypothetical world. It's like latent utopian potentials that exist here on earth. And it's like, I think it can be fun and we can ah get the community to collaborate in building a ah ah deep, rich mythology. Which is plenty intended on the mean collaboration.
00:45:31
Speaker
Oh, sure. Absolutely. ah Deep, deep. yeah Speaking of that community collaboration, the best thing that we could do is communicate accurate information, give people a picture worth painting.
Season Two Expectations and Conclusion
00:45:41
Speaker
And I guess my immediate question for you ah that I find the most interesting is what is the least amount of hollow that you're still right. you know like ah if If it's really hollow down there, I'm talking hundreds of miles. Exactly. There's definitely like big spaces, subterranean, like big subterranean. You can find like big underground caves that develop like um and like greenery and stuff. And then do they know about us?
00:46:15
Speaker
or are we myth to them? Surface people. Surface people, black as night, they saw like a... They saw Rocky get beat up by Apollo Creed. Well, I've been talking to that's that's actually a really good question. Which part? ah Yeah, the Apollo Creed part. No, club I don't know. heche I mean, from my, ah you know, communication with this guy who's been sending me like letters about it, which like I didn't want to take seriously at first. But then I realized, hey, what's the harm? You know, what's not the first pen pal? And then I realized,
00:46:53
Speaker
Yeah, but I think they do. You know, maybe you not maybe not all of them know about us, ah from what I understand. But, you know, well, I think you know the idea that there's big holes at the polls, you know, we can go there now and see that these I don't see a hole anywhere. Like, I bet if we went to Antarctica, you're not just going to be able to easily find a hole like they used to plan expeditions for. Because once Hitler went down there, they were like,
00:47:22
Speaker
Oh, shit, we can't let that we got to plug this whole up. So they plugged it up. Do the math, dick suckers. Why do you block off communications? All the dirt is going to the real shit. We got to be. Listen, although also, by the way, any listeners to this, I expect you to keep this on the down low. OK, it's fucking dangerous if we we're just up here, you know, spreading information. We got to be selective with who knows. it This is kind of like a the honor system where we're kind of trusting the listener to like not go fucking telling any fucking cops about this fucking place because we don't want everyone just trying to rush there and get there and then just have massive exploitation of the of the agarthian people by the way uh the hollow earth in mythology and history has been known as agartha at times
00:48:17
Speaker
I'm pretty sure I remember reading that Ian is employing the Alex Jones method where he invited the only two people on his podcast where if we do tell other people they wouldn't believe us.
00:48:33
Speaker
It's like, all right, Riley. Yeah, I'm sure. Agartha or whatever.
00:48:41
Speaker
I want to say that as my buddy and with the contractual agreement that we signed for this, it could be big for my career if you're right. And I don't have enough going on.
00:48:56
Speaker
comedically that I could afford to pass up the opportunity. So it, I mean, if you're right, this could be my big ticket and I feel like it's in my best interest to go with the flow per se. And so what could people expect from the show in season two from here going forward now that we've sort of set the stage, who we are, where we've been, where we're going?
00:49:19
Speaker
All the shit the fucking schools ain't telling you about. All the shit that we weren't told. We were poorly educated and it pisses us off. So we're gonna figure out what kind of fucking narratives they baked into our brains. Not unlike Alex Jones.
00:49:38
Speaker
We're... Yeah. Are we just doing younger Alex Jones? Is that the...
00:49:45
Speaker
Ralley's got the mustache. We're just doing like porn mustache jokes. Whether or not you actually believe in the hollow earth for the purposes of this project is not important. In fact, if we are if we're if we as humans are alone on earth in our capacity for complex society, for building institutions, then the kind of ideas where I'm going to be bringing up are more, those kind of type of questions are as urgent as ever. if we are If we are of the natural world that preceded us, but also unique and apart from it in in our ability to create ah institutions and to destroy and to shape our our reality and to have values, in what way should we deal with our
00:50:36
Speaker
our partners are different from nature. And I think use it like actually like going going kind of deep into some real philosophical ideas, trying to be a like a little bit, a smidge more educated than season one with some actual like research and hopefully some real basis behind some of the shit I'm spewing, that we're spewing.
00:51:02
Speaker
that we're spewing. But, I mean, I'm spewing a lot about fucking moles right now, so I gotta specify. We're a mole out. Mole out with your whole out, brother. let i wanted This is a safe space. Riley, what do you want people to be able to expect from season two of Poorly Educated? I think they should expect more episodes of a podcast uploaded, hopefully with more consistency than the last time, but no promises. No, but ladies and gentlemen, we have plenty more coming for you. we're we're going to put There's a few like logistical pieces that I'd like to touch on here. ah Episode frequency of what you can expect will be listed in the description of the show. We have meetings and discussions to have about that with Edelman and Ian's anonymous contact. and
00:51:51
Speaker
um We don't exactly know when this episode is going to come out, but it it will be relatively soon. We're also going to set up an email for the show, drivebydogs.com. There'll be a custom form you can fill out as well. um If you'd like to send any information in, whether it's feedback on the show, feedback on our society, or i ideas for a new one. Yes, exactly. That information will be in the description. I haven't really gotten.
00:52:17
Speaker
Yeah, any feedback is highly welcome. Any ideas? we Just get thinking about it. Really, all I want that this kind of idea to be is like, it's a memetic engine. It's an intuition pump for your imagination of, you know, maybe the way we have things structured up here isn't the only way to have things structured and organized. So get that brain thinking about What you want the hollow earth utopia to look like and send us fucking suggestions and we'll talk about their plausibility or.
00:52:51
Speaker
implausibility What we're doing is actually ingenious, is that we're interweaving honorable, important pieces of a society akin to ours, maybe even a path to a utopia within an unlistenable hour and a half.
00:53:11
Speaker
We're the secret recipe in the middle of the article about said recipe. You know what I mean? Yeah. Lightning round. um Thoughts on like Sandy Hook? Wasn't fake. Really? Yeah, I don't think it was fake. I thought it was fake, so I saw that damn settlement. Are you kidding me? I wouldn't be caught saying that nowhere. $4 billion dollars or whatever he had to pay. He could have bought Instagram.
00:53:45
Speaker
Just Instagram. Well, yeah, I mean, that's that's it. But guys, yeah I think that's it. the The last tiny thing I'll say that I think is funny is we don't know what the outro music is going to be. So whatever it that's about to come, we're going to overlay. I'll tell you what's about to come. Sure.
00:54:02
Speaker
a cosmic come shot.
00:54:09
Speaker
See you guys.
00:54:51
Speaker
I am always hungry and I don't have any cake. You are always on a plane and the plane is full of snakes. You are super fun.