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Paving The Path To Utopia & Killing an Uber Driver, Coffee Before Bed #3
84 Plays1 year ago
Third episode of the year and we felt it's about damn time to shake things up. In what we are, for now, referring to as the start to our "rebrand" we each give 6 ideas for our perfect utopias, with a short 20 minute detour on dating app strategies.
Credit to Microwave for letting us use But Not Often
Links to boys Instagrams:
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Transcript
Ideas on the Road
00:00:22
Speaker
There's a lot that's been going on in my life. Some good, most bad, like usual. And I'm trying to imagine, I don't know. I guess I'll speak to it like this. The other day I was driving home from work and the only thing interesting that can happen on your way home from work, it's not traffic, Ian. Traffic wouldn't be interesting. Fritz, it's not that you saw a car in the shape of a hot dog.
00:00:53
Speaker
That sounds pretty incredible. That's a goddamn life changing event right there. That's a good day. You T-bonut. I went to T-bonut, but I don't like my food to touch. The most interesting thing that can happen to you when you're in a car is to have an idea.
00:01:14
Speaker
Oh god, there's nothing better than to be speeding on the interstate and have an idea that you have to decide. It's one thing to text and drive. Because what text is important enough to drive? I'll tell them in a minute. But gentlemen, an idea? Oh, an idea could be so much more. And if you use your phone shortly, and I do not condone this,
00:01:40
Speaker
If you use your phone shortly for an idea and you end up killing a kid, all I'm saying is when the cops are using the jaws of life, getting you out of the vehicle and they look at your phone, it better have been like genius, man. We've got to write it down. It's imperative that you do write it down because nothing is also, there's also nothing worse than forgetting an idea. That'll make you want to kill yourself.
00:02:08
Speaker
That'll make you want to get to the ether. It makes you want to blow your brains out. I'm referencing, if you can look up David Lynch, never let David Lynch forget an idea because there's like interview after interview of him talking about how like, and then people like commit, like every time he like, he's like, yo, if you ever forget an idea, you're going to want to blow your brains out. Like he's going to, you're going to want to, he like says over and over again. He's like,
00:02:34
Speaker
He's like, if you forget an idea, then people are going to be upset and then they're going to want to kill them. Like he's always, it's like never let him forget an idea. Yeah, they need to have like the state sends a little girl with a notepad following him around for his security. It's a part of a wellness check.
The Art of Pickup Lines
00:02:57
Speaker
So if you're going to write it down, it has to be good. And we go through this internal dialogue of how to decide whether an idea is good or not. Well, is it making me laugh? Yes. Great start. Will it make other people laugh? Impossible to say. Really difficult second question. So you have to decide, is this something that will help people? And I say all of this to say I was driving home the other day and something interesting happened. And what was interesting is that I came up with an idea that I think will help people.
00:03:29
Speaker
Can I share it? Yeah. It's your fucking moral obligation too. It's an imperative that you share it. If you don't, you're harming the universe. You're taking away from the potentiality of human thriving.
00:03:45
Speaker
Yeah, you're also teasing us. So give us that. Yeah. And you're being a little tease and a little bitch. So hey, fork over the idea nutbag. I crashed into the hot dog car and my nutbags went off. That's why I'm sharing this with you boys today. I was going to cancel the podcast because I'm driving, but I figured I'd light up a SIG. I'd turn on the mic and.
00:04:12
Speaker
We'd get there together and here we go. This is an idea for a pickup line. And I think it's universally relevant. And what I mean by that is you can use it on Tinder and that's it. It's so simple. So Ian, I want you to role play this with me because it requires one response and you need to be like genuine about what this woman would actually say to this as a pickup line. So we match on Tinder. I slide in.
00:04:42
Speaker
Are you Sloopy? Sloopy? Forget about it. I have to know. Do you want to go out? I need to know. Bro, disappear for a little while. Yeah. Hello? What's Sloopy?
00:05:07
Speaker
I looked it up on the Urban Dictionary. It doesn't say anything. Hello. You unmatch. You unmatch. Make them find your address. You unmatch, right? Make them work for it. Right. You unmatch, and they're Googling Morgan, because they don't know anything else. They type it in Morgan and click it on every profile on Instagram looking for any that are similar. I just think that it'll help people. So captivating.
00:05:38
Speaker
It's like instantly intriguing. Yeah, and it does everything that it's supposed to. A pickup line on a dating app should do exactly two things. It should intrigue your potential suitor and it should be something that makes you shut up about yourself ASAP. I could be telling her about my kids or my
00:06:05
Speaker
I guess I don't have kids. I could be telling her about everything else I've got going on. You want to rate my girlfriend's pickup line to me? Yes, can I hear it? Because I met her on Bumble. Oh, and she slid. Oh, yeah, so the woman has that, like, talk first, has to start the discussion. Okay. And she said...
00:06:31
Speaker
Do you want to guess her? I do want to guess. I'm glad that you knew that. But I want some sort of hint that doesn't give your punchline away. You can even tell me how many characters. I don't care. Fritz and I each get a guess. You want a hint? Yeah, you just got to give me a hint. Something about me.
00:06:59
Speaker
It was like, like what the type of, I look like something. All right. One sentence or two. Or it's maybe I see you seem like, like, you know what I mean? Uh, one sentence. And then what is the first word of that sentence? I just gave you the beginning, like three. You seem like. Oh, I didn't know if that was like a general, if it was like in about it, you know?
00:07:29
Speaker
I don't think so. The chat history is gone though because I deleted Bumble after. If I would have known that it would have gotten rid of the entire chat history so we can't
00:07:41
Speaker
reminisce and look back hold on real quick controversial you deleted ask if she still has bumble she doesn't know oh it's like once i deleted it got rid of the conversation or something we tried we tried to rescue it wait fritz was such a bad friend instigating in that way right now well i bet she still has but i bet she's still on the fucking market
00:08:06
Speaker
Yeah, Fritz knows the pickup line. He got used on him, too. So what's your guess, Fritz? Okay, so what was the first you seem like?
Dating App Disasters
00:08:21
Speaker
I don't know more. You seem like you stand. I don't even know that.
00:08:35
Speaker
Anything buddy fucking what's his name? Who's the who's the ginger guitar player? What are you talking about? Like Ed Sheeran you think was the pickup one like you stay on Ed Sheeran, okay Wild floundering to arrive there. Whoo Perhaps I'll eat my words Right when I would have gotten that one
00:09:03
Speaker
And do you remember you and I were driving home from this pizza place and I remember I think a team by Ed Sheeran came on or was one of the Ed Sheeran songs that was really popular then and I was just like I was driving was my car and I was just like
00:09:23
Speaker
I don't know. We can leave it on. I don't know. I don't really like that shit. People really like that shit right now. I don't really like it. I don't get it either.
00:09:41
Speaker
Play to play I guess I it's just not worth changing it. I love Ed Sheeran Team I can't pick up another song right now, but I love a team though 18 is his best song I
00:10:03
Speaker
what uh it was all right firstly was that right no no i would have unmatched you would have unmatched okay i'm thinking about this you seem like an okay guy god damn she thinks so highly of me already
00:10:29
Speaker
I think that's a good one. I couldn't go too much. That is a good one. Ruin their expectations too much. No, I was like, you seem like you have a passionate opinion about the Oxford comma. Oh, shit. And then I forget what my answer was, but it had an Oxford comma in it, I think. Do you remember anything about your respective bias? Oh.
00:11:00
Speaker
I bet I could find out. Hold on. I don't really remember mine. The hell was mine? Mine was a lot of like alliteration. I remember one day you told me yours and I was like, fuck, I need to step up my game. What's yours? What's yours? Mine's awful. All right. What is it? I'm pulling it up now.
00:11:29
Speaker
If you don't know your Tinder bio by fucking heart, change that shit. Oh fuck, I need to update it. That shit needs to be an anthem. What does it say that you need to update? What changed? I don't know. Yeah. Why do fucking dating apps need to update? It's the same shit. Oh, okay. Probably just new security measures.
00:11:52
Speaker
And hers was like, I love an ironic kitchen photo shoot, because she had a bunch of kitchen, like, photos in her kitchen. And then I need someone that is willing to come chase away the possum that is terrorizing my cat. And then her third picture was the possum. And you chased it away, didn't you? I did. I can't even chase away the possum. I've seen him. That must have been like fulfilling. The prophecy foretold.
00:12:19
Speaker
The Oxford comma hero, the Penn State alumni, Oxford comma hero who chased away the possum that was. The possum that was, and there's no more. There's also possum at large.
00:12:40
Speaker
which is interesting. Do you need the wifi password? What's your Tinder bio? Bro, it took fucking forever to like the instant you started talking and finally fucking update it.
00:12:52
Speaker
Oh my god, now it needs my fucking, no, get the fuck out. Get the fuck out of here. Wait, I still have Bumble. Wait, you still have Bumble? If you need me to cut that out Ian, let me know. No, I'm not logged in. Hold on. I'm actually- The rest of this podcast is just going to be us trying to log into our dating profiles. I need to say that I'm not allowed to be on that side of things, but I'm very happy for you guys getting back into the dating game like this, especially you, Ian. No, no, no, no, no, no. What was your bio?
00:13:23
Speaker
in. I'm trying to get there, man. Not now. We're both trying to update Bumble right now. What you're trying to update it now, still? Alliteration advocate may contain idle curiosity, crippling authenticity. Objectively, it's like a bullet list.
00:13:41
Speaker
Objectively funny bits. I'm sure you'll find endearing in hilarious microplastics Momentary bursts of brutal like clarity and minced and otherwise ever-growing perpetual befuddlement Really brought out the the the the source for this one Absolutely shit. Wait, no, you have to say worse mine's so generic white guy though. Oh
00:14:04
Speaker
Is that what you had to change? You had to update that you're white now? Also, Bumble has those questions. It's like prompts or whatever. Oh, yeah. There's one that's like, my real life superpower is, but I can do that thing where I grab my foot and jump over my own leg and I have dog vision, parentheses, red, green, color blindness.
00:14:29
Speaker
One of my questions is just a fucking quote from Half-Life 2, where it's like, what do you dream about? And I just put cheese. Because one of the characters is just like, sometimes I dream about cheese. And I'm like, damn, that is fucking weird. What's the bio? I like Dungeons and Dragons video games and movies. But I also love having new experiences, such as going out. I'm an average photographer. And my cat's name is Lulu.
00:14:59
Speaker
That's a good bio. Why are you down on the bio, buddy? That's a good because I think I was too long. I was like, it was too much. I'm going zero for zero baby for matches. I also don't use it. So like, wait, wait. Can I add a line in the beginning and then everything else is perfect? Yeah, go ahead.
00:15:22
Speaker
Because I think you and I are close like this. We can go back and forth. Yeah. You let me know. I need you to co-sign this if Fritz does it. If Ian co-signs this, you should do it, OK? Mm-hmm. I'm trying to get bitch or die crying. I like it. I even heard it.
00:15:49
Speaker
I'm trying to get bitch or die.
Podcasting Reflections
00:16:00
Speaker
Crying. Crying. Crying, but crying sounds so much more cooler. Bro, keep us in touch, obviously.
00:16:15
Speaker
We could do updates on the pod. We'll figure out how to use the Sloopy too. The what? The Sloopy thing. Next match, use the R U Sloopy question mark. Or should I put at the bottom of my description, don't ask what Sloopy is? No, you shouldn't. I need to remind myself about Sloopy or I will forget.
00:16:47
Speaker
Yeah, well, I just think it's important. And I think you should save it for someone good, too. That way, we don't use it all up. We don't want all these people using this. I also think that these tips that we're giving right now work very well for men in the other way, too. Like, if you're trying to attract men, if you're a lady out there, I think a man would like being asked if he's sloopy. Get dick or die trying to cry.
00:17:11
Speaker
get dick or die crying. Is it? I'm trying to get a picture. Crying or. Yeah. And most girls on these fucking things don't have to try as hard as. Yeah. All right. You're right. That actually brings me to some anti-woman points that I had. And that's a really. I mean, they have to try hard and other arenas of life, certainly just in the courting, like the traditional, which, you know, we should step outside of, but the traditional fucking
00:17:42
Speaker
Roles say that this should be a quarter. She should be courted by a quarter. I'll cosign that shit. I'll cosign that shit all night long. What are you doing with quarters?
00:17:55
Speaker
This is coffee before bed. And on this podcast, we're sort of revamping things. I guess our idea for the show, Ian, you and I talked for about an hour and 45 minutes last Monday, which at the top of the call, I said, I promise you, this isn't going to take that long, maybe like 30 minutes max. And I was like, Morgan, I'm just I'm going to let you in on a secret. We know that that don't mean shit.
00:18:20
Speaker
Like my dad coming into my room when I was younger and going hey son I need help out in the garage real quick. It'll be real quick 12 a full 12-hour shift later. I'm finally going to bed That's exactly what that because you know like you guys don't get paid for making shit with me So you've just been helping me in the garage for your early 20s Yeah, I just I just replaced my dad with you. I
00:18:46
Speaker
Oh, that's a great Tinder bio. That sounds like a good therapy question. Yeah, but we were on the phone for like two hours and we came out, we started with the idea for the podcast that we had and then we ended it with
00:19:07
Speaker
less of an idea of the podcast but we should we should just talk you know which we had not thought of yet
00:19:16
Speaker
No, no, no. Up to now, we had not considered that that was an option. But we did sort of talk about on that Monday call, probably opening up every pod from here on out with like 20 minutes to just like talk about like women, just like women talk out of the way. That way doesn't bleed into any of the other stuff that we end up diving into. Yeah.
00:19:40
Speaker
Yeah, it's like a, it's our cheat meal. We have our cheat meal at the beginning and then we, we don't have to think about it for the, we have the cigarette and now we won't be as hungry. In theory, the presence of women will not be felt in the rest of, for the rest of this episode, their energies are no, no, no girls allowed.
00:20:03
Speaker
This is No Girls Allowed's vibes in the worst possible way. Yeah, I know. It's like a No Girls Allowed sign that we didn't write. It's like someone else wrote it on our door to be mean. No, it's a warning. If our idea after that two-hour phone call was to create a podcast with No Girls Allowed, we could just create a podcast. If that's the energy of the podcast, it's just every other. Welcome to the Lex Friedman podcast.
00:20:33
Speaker
We don't have the hairline and that's the whole thing with the Lex Friedman thing is he could knock them I'm I'm not wearing a three-piece suit. I'm in my birthday suit No meta quest either and we're all drinking coffee for real this time Which is a big three episodes end of the show or however many we've done first legitimate coffee in it It's owed to you for us to be honest about that That's cold
00:21:04
Speaker
Sorry, I shouldn't be chewing ice. It's iced coffee. I didn't do an iced coffee. Did you make it into an iced coffee? No, no, no, no. It's not an iced coffee. That fucker put hot coffee and then a couple iced cubes in there. That's iced coffee. That's not iced coffee. Not three cubes of ice. It could be. The fact that the ice is still in here, if I put it in hot coffee for it,
00:21:32
Speaker
That's crazy. These are the ice that I'm chewing on them at the bottom of this glass. The integrity of the ice is the least interesting part of it. Fucking incredible ice. This is ice from a utopia. Utopian ice cubes right here. In a perfect world, there would probably be like a, you could put like our podcast on ice. You know, we come out hot.
00:22:03
Speaker
And put it on ice. And die crying. I ain't going to come out ugly. That would be crazy. We talked about the first two episodes of the show. And there were a lot of dialogues about why things had gone so wrong. And outside of every legitimate conclusion we've come to about our inability to focus, our
00:22:30
Speaker
inability to commit our lack of free time as a result of the corporate overlords that sort of roll our day. What we landed on was that we think two episodes in. We just haven't shaken it up enough. So we're we're rebranded. That's that's how we stay interested. Ideally, we'll probably do. I don't know. So we'll start fresh from this podcast Coffee Before Bed season two. Maybe we'll do three or four of our episodes. We'll shake it up again.
00:23:01
Speaker
Maybe I was at 10, we could start at like season four. But I think, like, still staying focused around the title. Really, the title, we just have to make whatever this podcast is somehow correlate to Coffee Before Bed.
Utopian Dreams
00:23:17
Speaker
So if it's just kind of like brainstorming, you know, just figuring out what the fuck's going on, like just really what is this? Right. And let's look at the facts. Boys answer these questions honestly.
00:23:31
Speaker
Do we have all three of us everything figured out in life, yes or no? Fuck no. Fuck no. Not everything, not yet. Are we three boys drinking some temperature of coffee? Yes. Yes. Seems like a podcast to me. I don't...
00:23:54
Speaker
I know most people start podcasts because they know something and they want to share it. Every podcast idea Ian and I have ever had have been like, Ooh, what actually, what don't we know? That's true. And we don't know as how to be happy. We don't know as how to produce a podcast and in a perfect world that we would.
00:24:17
Speaker
And we kinda wanna talk about what that perfect world would look like. Utopia is her name, and I met her on Bumble. She knew what Sloopy was. Yeah, yeah, I've definitely been thinking about Utopias a lot, which I've noticed is non-ironically advocating for world peace of some type of Utopia isn't something that's super,
00:24:47
Speaker
like praised and valued often I think like most of the criticism for utopianism is that it's kind of like frivolous and you're sitting around like daydreaming about the about a future rather than actually building it and then like often I think I think it can definitely be true that like daydreaming can become the like action that makes you feel good about yourself and you can keep existing in society and it's more of a coping mechanism than actual
00:25:16
Speaker
like political action. Yeah, it's your daily dopamine. Yeah, where you can just dream of like one of it can be the sedative. But I but I definitely also think it can be the fucking coffee. It can be the coffee before bed that lights on the lights your step. Because I think it's like it definitely is true and can probably be true that it can be kind of sedative ising.
00:25:42
Speaker
There's Edelman. Edelman, was that a word? Edelman, will you look up if that's a word for us? I think it's a word. I think it's a word. I think it's a word. But I think it can be like, I think it's important to not to focus not just on the end point. Like it's Utopia not as a destination or a map or like a perfect model or blueprint, but as
00:26:08
Speaker
Like a direction like if you if you want to know this step that like if you want to know the next step you have to know what Direction you're headed and you want to go in you have to look towards the horizon But also what's just in front of you and what challenges are right in front of you? Right. Yeah, like if you're looking at the horizon the space that you see the most clearly is the step right in front of you. Yeah
00:26:33
Speaker
And our vision, where the utopian future comes to stimulate to doing positive action in the world right now, rather than the opiate that lets you do nothing. Can I share a positive action that I have taken recently? Speaking of utopia. Please. I figured, you know, we're due for it. He's not out of our life yet. It's about time I start working on my Trump impression.
00:26:58
Speaker
So my, um, my mom sent me a picture of this Donald Trump sweater she found at Goodwill. So I want to play you my Trump impression that I sent her and I want you guys to give me feedback on it. Okay. It looks very cozy. It's a very cozy sweater. You could take a nap. Joe would go to sleep. Good night. Thoughts.
00:27:25
Speaker
You got the good that's like that is not what the inflection yeah, I've got like I've got like 71% of people that It's tremendous They love me. It's just seems so fun to do it just That's why he's in such a good mood as he's doing that voice all day. It's the whole Mario conundrum. Oh
00:27:52
Speaker
I don't know some people with this. They love me Yeah, so I I do not want to go another election cycle God forbid if he wins and I have to go another four years and not be able to do his voice if I leave The Trump years with anything I hope and pray to God. It's a good impression Yeah, yeah, I'm working on mine too I gotta We'll both
00:28:22
Speaker
If Trump becomes president, oh my god, god. You know, whatever. I don't know what's going on anymore. That's another thing to think about. In a perfect world, you gotta think it kind of would, you know? Yeah, if we're talking about utopia. Like some horizon bullshit.
00:28:35
Speaker
If we got to talk about that, if we're talking about the next step to utopia, it's going to involve the Trump presidency. Don't you think that's true though? Like either way you feel about Trump. Like Trump is going to bring out all of the black in the well. Right. Well, that society is going to have to be destabilized and we're going to have to be forced by material conditions and outside factors such as
00:29:02
Speaker
climate change and things like that in order to have the fire lit under us to retry something else. Maybe this whole endless growth on a planet where we're blowing through the resources of a finite planet doesn't work.
00:29:25
Speaker
Do you think that climate change could all be like emotional change in a relationship where we're just like growing apart, you know? Like it's not necessarily bad. It's just like, it's growing, we're growing. What a metaphor. No. Damn. Okay. Cause I was gonna say yes. Yeah. No, that didn't sound right. It's like our relationship with planet earth and like, you know, it's, it's, you know, rocky right now and things aren't looking pretty good. And if we continue the path that we're going and not changing anything, eventually we're going to break up.
00:29:54
Speaker
And, you know, we're going to die crying. But if we choose to get our shit together and realize that we were the problem in the relationship and work to fix ourselves, that the relationship will prosper. Well, I don't like blaming all of humanity. I hate when people are like humans or a parasite or anything on life.
00:30:13
Speaker
So you're blaming like starving children as much as like the billionaires or like massive corporations that are like actively, okay, yeah, yeah. They're involved with it. Perhaps that makes sense. And on the starving children point, just to go kind of off Fritz's thing, are you most annoyed, tell me this, at the tick you find before it sucks up all your blood or at the bloated one you find with all your blood?
00:30:41
Speaker
Right. You find the bloated one with all your blood. That thing's been on you a couple of days. Squish done. But is there more panic with the skinny starving one? Because Oh God, I was just in the woods. I think like it's harder to, if, and if you came back with a tick and one was like huge, it would be easier to search your hair. Cause you know, we look through your hair and like, all right, that one's big. We're looking for things the size of a nickel.
00:31:10
Speaker
So maybe that's like God's thing as he's looking at who the problem people are. All the skinny starving children, like Fritz was saying, they're too small in the hair of humanity to poke out as the actual issue.
Power Dynamics
00:31:27
Speaker
All the big ones seem like they're the problem, but really, those are just the ones that are done.
00:31:35
Speaker
Right, they're done eating. Those were yesterday's problem. You remove the fat cats, you know, who takes their place, the skinny ones. That's fucking awesome. That's so fucking good. Ian, whatever you're doing, the fact that you're not giving Fritz his flowers, maybe you're handing them to him in person. Perhaps that's what's happening. You replace the fat cats, the skinny ones replace them.
00:32:04
Speaker
where we encourage them to not get so fat. Yeah, good luck. With frameworks and a kind of constitution, cats can't write constitutions, we can. I think that this podcast and where we go from here has the potential to be really fun because
00:32:28
Speaker
we get to dive deep into some political concepts and messaging that are just virulently divisive in a way that I think that if we don't take them seriously enough
00:32:46
Speaker
Ian is going to feel like he did his work for nothing. That's something that's certainly on mine. I've already given up on. That's all the serious work I did is for a different project, certainly. I've already come to terms with that. My man. So we're just doing like what the perfect world is then. Yeah. All right. Well, let's roundtable. Actually, let's each do six. And we'll just talk about them. And that's the pod. Six what? Yeah, six what?
00:33:14
Speaker
Fucking perfect world six ideas You told us we have to make six individual perfect worlds. Okay. No six individual ideas Can be Converging and we'll go we'll go in order and I'll start because maybe that'll make it easy But we're doing six apiece and you might have to improve a couple I mean you can't can't perform those but here in a minute. We're doing six ideas for different worlds But before then here's you two
00:34:00
Speaker
I guess we all have you two on their phones They want to remember when songs we might as well play it in the fucking middle of the episode Well, they're not gonna show at the Vegas at the Maddox Yeah, that's awesome. That's all that I was at that I was you were at the u2 show you saw they would I
00:34:24
Speaker
I guess, yeah, I assume they sold the rights to Apple then, and it's still the under copyright laws, that album. Yes, I think so. I think is the case. Here in one second, we're doing Six Ideas for coming back to you too. I'm ready. Okay, so here's my idea.
00:34:48
Speaker
And when you hear it, it's gonna hit your ears in a way that may not be satisfying. But what I'd like you both to do simultaneously after I say it is to say it together just you two three times slowly. Deal? Okay, so you say it then pause and then both me and Ian say it three times slowly together.
00:35:11
Speaker
three times slowly, because I think if I just say it, you're gonna be like a terrible idea. But I think if I could get you to each say it simultaneously three consecutive times, you'll be on my side. You ready? But you have to commit to it completely. You can't say anything else until it's been retorted in that exact way. Is that understood? What?
00:35:37
Speaker
Get off the vape. Get off the vape. You need to say exactly how you said it. Yeah, so I'm gonna say something. I'm gonna say like five words and I don't want it to fall on deaf ears. I just feel like you guys will be way more into the idea if you say it together three times slowly after I say it. But it has to be slowly and it has to be simultaneous. So really work together to do that, right, okay? All right. And then we can talk about it. So here's the idea.
00:36:07
Speaker
tort-a-potty turtle portable toilet tort-a-potty turtle portable toilet tort-a-potty
00:36:32
Speaker
Was harder, why'd you make it a tongue twister? Why the fuck they have to part my ideas toy boat say five times fast? Wait, we have to do is simultaneously Here's the thought
00:36:52
Speaker
If we're talking about an ideal world, people have to go to the bathroom unexpectedly, sometimes sharks. So imagine tortoises with the hollowed out exoskeleton, AI tortoises, hollowed out exoskeleton that you can order on your phone. They come to your location. You say AI tortoises?
00:37:15
Speaker
Yeah, AI tortoises hollowed out exoskeleton. I'll keep up. And you squat, you pot, and they disperse. Tort-a-potty, turtle portable toilet. In my ideal world, those things are accessible. So it's a physical thing. Yeah, and there's like a million of them. What makes it AI?
00:37:40
Speaker
Probably you said AI Because it's not so there's two types of intelligence and it's not biological We're not doing this actual time. That's all I'm saying this toilet has an intelligence. What's it for? What do you mean? What's it for? How does it use its intelligence? How does how does its intelligence manifest in our the same way in AI vehicle?
00:38:07
Speaker
vehicles and trucks that use AIs to navigate. This would use a similar navigation method. Now, it's also very similar to the trucks, because the trucks have to offload material as well. They have to load and offload. So the AI truck technology, we could probably inject the same chip into the torta potty. So is it just for vehicle matter, or is it going to also be trash as well? It's not trash. It's a porta potty.
00:38:38
Speaker
Would you throw trash in a porta potty? Well, I don't. What's it doing with the waste? Because I'd say, wouldn't you like to know? You want to watch what it does with the way you watch it? You're scratching your neck. What are you going to do with that? What's it going to do? Are you going to eat that?
00:39:07
Speaker
But it could recycle our waste into compost. That's what I was thinking.
00:39:19
Speaker
You know, just to save the planet. Yeah. Oh yeah. Because all that the manure, all that human poop that's polluting the earth. You're right. That's our, that's our big problem. Not the SUVs. What is wrong with you? Get your eye, get your head in the game.
00:39:38
Speaker
Maybe sell your Hummer, Senator, okay? Stop worrying about what the torta-potties are doing, the turtle portable toilets, with all this shit. So they still have already have the rich, they're already still rich people that have Hummer is in the sort of stuff. Okay. Well, I was talking to you, you were the senator in that exact context.
00:40:03
Speaker
Yeah, I just think it'd be good. And what they do with the shit, who cares? Who cares? Who cares? Don't look into it. Who freaking cares? Next question. I mean, no follow-up question. Yeah, no follow-up. I get it. I approve. Clearly. So yeah, at the end of all these ideas, we all have to cosign or not cosign. That's an important aspect of this. OK. Not cosign. Cosign. OK. Wait. Hold on.
Innovative Society Concepts
00:40:30
Speaker
Why? I like it.
00:40:33
Speaker
I don't like it. Well, not why, do you? What do you mean you don't like it? I don't like it. I like it. So you want people to keep shitting themselves like they have been? I think it's, uh, it's... And pissing everywhere? It's selling us a solution for a problem that doesn't exist yet. Uh, what do you mean a problem that doesn't exist yet? How about go to Chipotle once? You tell me about a problem that doesn't exist. Yeah, they have them on standby, if this would happen.
00:41:03
Speaker
Look, here's the deal. You're going to have to go somewhere. These things could be AI creatures. That's fine. Agree with me. That's fine. And I just don't think they're not doing any harm. I don't know why you wouldn't co-sign it. Well, you're hollowing them out these ports. No, they're not. They're not real. They're robots. So they're just look like tortoise shells.
00:41:31
Speaker
Yeah, they're like a robot turtle with, that's a bathroom, robot turtle bathrooms. It's just a portable, it's just a porta potty that looks like a turtle. But it's not a porta potty. Like it's not enormous. You have to like, it travels. Yeah. So like, can people see like squat? Yeah. Is there like, what do you mean? Like, so the bowl is like a tour of the shell, but is it connected to like a piping system or like, where is it storing the waste? And does it only have enough room for like one person's waste?
00:42:01
Speaker
It looks like a regular tortoise. Let's answer these one by one. It looks like a regular tortoise. The shell opens from the top via a sliding mechanism. It only has enough for whatever amount of waste could fill a regular tortoise. Let's not be weird about it. And I think that's everything. Oh, you asked if people can see you. I hadn't considered that, but a solution that might be cheap is maybe you give this thing a flash bang.
00:42:30
Speaker
Mmm, I like it and then it could use the flash bag and then you do your business Also, they're free on you piece of shit these are free and you're how conservative you to to oppose social systems Where are the resources to make it coming from? Oh my god Ted Cruz over here. Yeah, what's your annual financial budget for something like this? Oh
00:42:59
Speaker
Oh, right. Let's talk about how much it costs to save lives. That's right. It's all about money. I've heard enough. I've heard enough. Ian, your idea. No, I think it's Fritz's idea. Wait, I thought you were going all at once. Yeah, I did too. No. No, we're doing... I did one. No, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, okay, okay. All right. Battery pods.
00:43:28
Speaker
All right, let's hear it. These could be ideas for anything too. Just keep that in mind. Oh, I thought you guys were going to repeat it. Battery pods, battery pods, battery pods. Yeah, you have to give us instructions. We will follow them. You just got to wind us up a little bit. I thought that was like the set rule that we're... Okay, but... Actually, I like that as a set rule. I think you're right. I slowly realized that like the matrix is...
00:43:56
Speaker
damn near perfect utopia society, but you get to choose if you actually want to participate.
00:44:02
Speaker
So say if you don't like your life in the utopia that I'm creating, which I will later further discuss with my other options, you have an option to go into a battery pod, which they use your body and the heat that it generates and everything to power city grids, cars, you name it, it'll power it, baby. Meanwhile, you live in a utopia of your choosing.
00:44:28
Speaker
And at any time, well, you can't exit it at any time. You can choose to change that utopia and basically live whatever life you want at any time. Questions? Go ahead.
00:44:42
Speaker
No, you could go ahead. I don't mind waiting. I do have a question. I was just going to say, in the Matrix, they talk about, they say that their first iterations of the simulations of the Matrix's were utopias, but everybody kept waking up because they didn't believe it. Like there's something in humans that needs conflict and suffering. Yeah, but see, that's where mine differs, is you know you're going into the battery pods. You know that there's an outside world.
00:45:07
Speaker
so it's more just like a virtual reality like a yeah basically basically this is just facebook and like two years it's it's the other metaverse oh yeah shit that's what they're called it's our fucking garden more like yeah
00:45:23
Speaker
I watched a meta press conference that was like a week ago or whatever. He's getting better at those. I think as the AIs are learning to become more human, it's training him to become more human. As the AIs get smarter through people using it, he's getting better at feeling believable.
00:45:44
Speaker
He's almost ready to pass the Turing test, I think. I like that this is awesome, intricate. He's not just trying to become more human. He's gradually making other people more robotic with cybernetics. Eventually Zuckerberg will be the only human. He started as a robot lizard. By the end, he'll be human and we'll all be robot lizards.
00:46:11
Speaker
So are these things free? What's the deal? It's more like an elite thing. It's like a government contract where they're like, hey, we know your life's not the best right now. So if you want to live stress free in this pod for 10 years, we'll pay you minimum wage to sit in there. And you're being sustained by food tubes and shit? Yeah. So they'll stick a food tube in your belly and a thing of your pee hole.
00:46:40
Speaker
The catheter, there we go.
00:46:42
Speaker
And then like I prefer the thing actually You get a choose From I would say like a pre-rendered like All right. Do you want to live in a fantasy world or do you want to live in like sci-fi world? Do you want to live in modern day like a bitch? like a Western And then you can also change like kind of the parameters like do you want to be like God or do you want to be like a Joe Schmoe?
00:47:12
Speaker
If they offer that and you had a kid and he's like 15, would you let him use that or would you talk about technology like that, like it's a tablet? I would say this is something like 18 and up, unless it has parental guardian approval. Oh, so this is a good fix for like all those gender hormones that they're given. This is like your response to the conservative saying it's,
00:47:42
Speaker
No, you can still I'm saying look I don't like this kid put him in there for 10 years wait till he's 25 and then he can figure shit out on his own He has an incubation pod. I like it like I like your idea but as a punishment There's there's there's a different version of it too for people who go to prison Where their whole thing is that they're living in like a hellscape?
00:48:09
Speaker
I was going to say your, what, just how you have it now is a utopian prison, but you're just going to make it. Isn't that just what a utopia is? The perfect world means that you can't do anything. It is interesting to define utopia beyond like a hierarchical definition of it.
00:48:34
Speaker
Cause like, could a moment be utopia? Like what, what, can it expand into? Like, I don't know. I've heard people say that there's, I've heard people use the term utope or like utopes as like little like utopias that exist in the current day, like little social relations that are like act within utopian principles, like, uh,
00:49:06
Speaker
Yeah, but it's definitely, I think it's a developmental trajectory towards ever increasing degrees of freedom and freedom that is aligned with, there's a pre-human foundation for freedom too. You could just set a space level, say, ability to make choices.
00:49:34
Speaker
is like an ability to make choices and use your rationale. And we just have the most, the furthest expression of freedom in the natural realm in our abilities to form institutions and use our like reason and stuff to create new frontiers of freedom. And then those endless frontiers are the direction in which utopia exists.
00:50:03
Speaker
I love it. No, let's hold on. Cosigned. I don't know if that's y'all's idea or... In all legitimacy, the prison part of it, I think you should reconsider if I want to give you my genuine criticism. I think that this idea should be prison and I think you have a chance to...
00:50:25
Speaker
lower recidivism rates and you're choosing to put them in hellscapes. But that's a conversation that we can have. Ideally, their situations would help rehabilitate them to be normal members of society. But I also recognize that today's world, I guess I guess I was trying to advertise this as today's world thing, not a utopia thing.
00:50:49
Speaker
So in Utopia, it would be set as an environment for them to fully recover from their wicked lives. Any moral conundrums, Ian? Certainly, certainly. But I'm going to go ahead and sign off on this one. All right, signed off.
00:51:10
Speaker
I'm not gonna yuck your yum or anything. I'm gonna co-sign on it, and I'm a little bit salty that Ian didn't co-sign on my torta-potty tortoise portable toilet, but I... You still got five ideas. Don't worry. He'll come around. I promise. Way more than five. We just... I told you guys we're talking for 30 minutes tonight, and I just... I want to honor that.
00:51:37
Speaker
We're going to get to you, buddy. I think it's your turn. So we're going to do the thing where you guys have to say it. Yeah, three times slowly. Yeah. Use of property relations.
00:51:53
Speaker
Use of Fructine Property Relations. Use of Fructine Property Relations. Use of Fructine Property Relations. Use of Fructine Property Relations. I'm not certain I'm saying it right, but if we're just saying it a different time. Use of Fruct. You could just say Use of Fruct. So I'll explain what it is. So under property laws, as we've inherited
00:52:17
Speaker
from the Greco-Roman property-related laws. There are basically three rights that make up our property rights, three sub-rights. So there's uses, which is the right to use something. Fructose, which is the right to profit off the fruit of something, of a property, to use the fruit of it.
00:52:46
Speaker
and then abuses, which is the right to destroy something like property and stuff. So use of Fructine. What's an example of that third one? Is there something that we would know about? Yeah. That's what we have right now. So like a yacht, there could be a bunch of people on the yacht, and there's a like the
00:53:08
Speaker
the owner of the yacht has the right to destroy the yacht. We just have that right to destroy something you own. There are tons of videos of people shooting their shit and blowing up Xboxes and shit on YouTube to prove it if you want to look for it. There's any example of anything that could be property. It's just the right that you have to... I could smash it if I want to. So Eusefructian,
00:53:37
Speaker
would be getting rid of that third right. It's like, gets rid of the socially useless right to destroy something you own. And it's the idea of holding property in a collective commons like a library, like a lending library operates off of use of recti.
00:53:55
Speaker
uh, property relations. So, uh, that would, it would just be the expansion of that. And even more than just getting rid of that, right? Having systems of anti abuses that like encourage the sharing of property, which is something we like already do. If we're like, you know, like the everyday
00:54:22
Speaker
Quote-unquote like communism of like if you're working on a work site and someone's like pass me that hammer You're not like but it's my hammer. I'm not gonna buy your you know, you're working through the same goal So you just like lend it you lend to me understand. It's like shared property for the service of a Bigger need like a larger Project All right, be honest with me Morgan. How many office supplies have you stolen? I
00:54:50
Speaker
Oh goodness. A lot. Are we trying to say which ones? I will say which ones if you say which one.
00:55:02
Speaker
Mine could possibly, maybe not, but maybe land me in jail. So what's more, I mean, yours could land you in jail. What did you steal? I have to know. Put it in your tender bio specific. I'll cut it out if it's too crazy or text me.
00:55:23
Speaker
I think that that principle, it's the solution. We have the crisis of inequality right now. Fred's texting me right now. I'm texting you right now. I'm sorry, Ian. I just- Sorry, wait. I just missed it. It really seems like Fred stole a million dollars or something. I have to know what it is.
00:55:47
Speaker
You're sending me a letter? What? No, I just couldn't find you on my text thing. I haven't texted you in a hot minute. I keep talking. I couldn't find you on my text thing. You and I texted six days ago. What are you? Okay, I texted you.
00:56:06
Speaker
I love, look, I love so much. Please show Ian what you just texted me. The thing you stole was that fun and that misspelled. I don't even know what it says. Don't worry about it. I got sweaty hands and I wanted to type it out because you were stressing me out. Oh, that's so funny.
00:56:38
Speaker
It's way funnier to not say what it is than to say what it is, too. But it's better than I ever could have imagined. I stole one of those for Verizon, too. Right in my boss's office. Amen, brother. What was Ian saying about Yusuf Nurkic or whatever? Yeah, Yusuf, Yusuf Rakh.
00:57:01
Speaker
I think it's in a unique position to solve both the crisis of inequality and the ecological crisis, in that right now we're distributing a lot and dispersing it in the wrong places so that half of all produce gets thrown away.
00:57:27
Speaker
Uh, what am I looking for? I'm looking for like dumps. Uh, what's it called? Like, uh, where they put all the trash.
00:57:37
Speaker
Not as dumb. What's the big landfills and stuff? There are landfills that have tons of gold if we actually harvested stuff. So we're making too much and we're distributing it in the wrong places. And the principle of circulating communal materials decreases the amount of resource throughput, which is required to provide for everyone, and the process of circulating shared goods by default rather than private hoarding
00:58:05
Speaker
can help eliminate poverty and inequality, and you're using less resources, and it's just more efficient. Even if you're going economically, it costs less money. If everybody individually were to make soup,
00:58:27
Speaker
And you could say it takes like an hour for 20 people to make soup soup But it would take like two hours for somebody make enough soup for 20 people So then it's like all that time of like wasted human potential Because hello you're encouraged not to share How long would it take to make soup for one person again go back? I'm done. That's just a random whatever if it takes 20 minutes like it takes far less than
00:58:57
Speaker
like resources and time if you made one big pot of soup as opposed to 20 like individually portioned pots.
00:59:09
Speaker
Yeah, I agree. As someone who's picky, I like my own pot of soup. And individualism was America's come up and downfall. And I'm here for it. If I'm going to die, I'd rather die as an individual than a collective, my friend. Right at that, baby. It's what I'm going to kill ourself. No, I'm going to kill myself. Get your fucking vegetables out of my stew, brother.
00:59:48
Speaker
You just dropped a grenade in this room and I am not I'm sorry. I didn't mean for the sound as serious as it did
00:59:58
Speaker
My and I'm the kind of petty that it would be so fun if I'm ever gonna kill myself I'm gonna wait for someone to say something like that to me and then I'm gonna drop the pod Edit the podcast before I
01:00:14
Speaker
They all have like a fifth of vodka on the way out. And also, how fucking dare you think that I would be offended about you telling me to kill myself? What are you talking about? Here's the thing. If you actually want to kill yourself, you don't care if someone else tells you to kill yourself, right? Now saying that I actually want to kill myself,
01:00:36
Speaker
But if you don't care, if you don't wanna kill yourself and someone tells you to kill yourself, just don't do it. It's the other part. Shut up, you know? Why are you guys being quiet? What I'd give for toes to touch the safety back top. No, we need to decide whether or not we're co-signing on the idea.
01:01:06
Speaker
Here's where I stand on it. And I wanna, I wanna kind of digress here for a minute. I think you are right. And it's so funny how obviously right that is. And on some real shit,
01:01:29
Speaker
I personally do not think that people's failure or inability to participate in that and pursue individualism is a failure of person.
Shared Resources
01:01:41
Speaker
And I'm not suggesting that you're implying otherwise, but I think that the beauty in expression, not just in our culture, but others is that strive for individualism. Why do you think that goes against individualism? What does that have anything to do with individualism? Our soup. My soup.
01:02:01
Speaker
Your portion of soup my portion of soup my entire soup It's the personal property and private property I'm not drinking public property Soup too because I mean you could reuse a cycle that you could return that in form of shitting into a turtle and composting it and and using it as
01:02:32
Speaker
renewing it that way but I guess it's better to think of it like it's better to think of it like you own it's like you have a tent do you have a tent yes isn't it like how many weeks out of the year do you use that tent
01:02:46
Speaker
I'm using that tent roughly 0.5 weeks out of the year would be the line for the override. Otherwise it's just sitting and taking up space. There's, I think a lot of property is a burden for people to have like things like a lawnmower or a tent or like a boat would make so much sense to be a, to hold in the communal library. And there are things like this are.
01:03:07
Speaker
tool libraries and like a lot of libraries have like repair shops. It also would eliminate planned obsolescence to where you actually would build things to last instead of to have to be replaced every couple minutes and to be really hard to repair.
01:03:26
Speaker
It would, you know, like if you wanted to use a boat, there would just be like boats that you could use at a lake and then return when you're done. And. Brother, brother, all you had to say was share B and B and I would have been in, I don't know. I were jumping through the hoops. Cosigned deal. As long as you say it, actually say it.
01:03:54
Speaker
Say what? Share B&B. Share B&B. Go sign.
The Optimistic Character
01:04:00
Speaker
Go sign. Airbnb is a great version of, you know, it's like in feudalism, you could see little like elements of capitalism bubbling up and already existing. And I think with things like the library or rideshare services, they're like capitalized versions of the new world existing in the shell of the old.
01:04:25
Speaker
I killed an Instacart driver last week. Capitalism eyes. Just like for fucking fun. I left a really big tip and wrote right at it. My idea is less of like this economic share B&B style thing that Ian so elegantly described. It's more of for like a guy
01:04:52
Speaker
I wish we had, and if we had this guy as a society, things would be better. So you guys, say guy in society. Guy in society, guy in society, guy in society, guy in society, guy in society, sorry. Yeah, exactly. So this is a society guy idea. This is just the guy, I'm not saying there's a bunch of them either, maybe there's one, maybe four, I don't know.
01:05:24
Speaker
On some share B and B shit, the least amount of this guy that we need, the better. But at least a couple of them. Here's the thought. Imagine like an alien, right? That's new to Earth. And that is like weirdly optimistic about stuff, but like excited to integrate into society. But when he finds out new information,
01:05:52
Speaker
instead of having any sort of reasonable deduction process to come to conclusions, he makes assumptions based only off of information that he already knows. So I've got an example for that. You ready? This is that guy. So like he's at your house, right?
01:06:13
Speaker
And he takes the milk out of the fridge and he looks at the expiration date on the milk and he looks at you and he says, this milk is going to expire. What do you know? It's going to be delicious all year. But he might be wrong.
01:06:36
Speaker
Well, no, it's this world. I'm saying it's this world. He is wrong.
01:06:46
Speaker
A wrong guy making outlandish claims. Optimistic predictions. Like a guy who doesn't believe that things work and are like they are because he thinks the best of every situation. So he sees that milk is going to expire. And he's like, fuck off. No, it's not. This milk, I could not foresee a world in which this milk is not delicious for the rest of my life. And then you have to be like, all right.
01:07:15
Speaker
So you're going to have to see. You know, but it's just like a couple of those guys scattered like that. You don't even like ask them to just come up and they're like, hey, yeah. This.
01:07:33
Speaker
Yeah, imagine you worked a job with one of these guys in your early 20s, and he just had a couple of things that he learned about Earth through you, but you got to see his youthful innocence at hand.
01:07:47
Speaker
You want a balance in people. I don't want anyone blind optimism and blind pessimism are both blind If there's like four of these guys that is a balance You're saying I can't mix a couple different color eminent. No, there's just as many pessimists as there are now I'm just adding a couple of these guys Everything else about the world is the same. I'm just putting like four of these guys in America. That's the idea I
01:08:18
Speaker
Sure. Yeah. Hell yeah. Cosine. I like cosine. Cosine. So before we cosine, something I want to do for the rest of these. If you have any ethical dilemmas, they need to be raised. Any ethical dilemmas, let's just say four of these guys. How are you bringing them into the world? Where am I finding them? Where are these people coming from?
01:08:49
Speaker
I made him. I made him up. Okay, hold on. Wait. How are you making him work? Well, I start off with you told me that I had to invent a guy who knows everything. God, it'd take me all year to invent a guy who doesn't take me a night. Oh, no. I don't have the answers. He doesn't either. Sweet. I'm fine.
01:09:15
Speaker
where this milk is going to expire? No, for it's no. And it is going basically you've invented for Ted Lassos. Like, I don't know. I don't know if America needs this. That's why we haven't watched Ted Lassos. That's why we sent him to Europe because he was like, yeah, we sent the one to England. Yeah. Yeah, he's one of yours. God, I had a lot of buddies text me about that show, but I had no clue that that was why I didn't.
Dueling in Society
01:09:43
Speaker
I guess I made him.
01:09:48
Speaker
Fritz drew a little comic on us. Morgan's comment instantly made me... Did you send it to him? I'm sending it to him now. It just made me have to stop what I was doing. And I had to draw it. It was in my brain. Cannot wait for this. You're gonna have to. I did say, I did say.
01:10:17
Speaker
I thought you verbalized what you did in some way, just so we're not loud enough. I drew Ian to the best of my ability. I do apologize, folks, if I got your things wrong. I looked just like me. I knew it was me that said, you know, I'm honest. Yeah, we know which one of us are which. Yeah, Ian is actually trying to give solutions to utopian society. And then Morgan just deadpan says, I killed an Uber driver yesterday.
01:10:47
Speaker
I like that you drew us like Ricky Gervais podcast characters. I think Gervais is pronounced Gervais. All right. Get queer with get queer, man. It's Ben Gervais. Fred's go. OK, so my second one is dueling needs to be legalized again.
01:11:18
Speaker
Ooh, okay. All for it. Wait, dueling needs to be legalized again. Is it to the death? Ian, you ready to say it? Dueling needs to be legalized. Dueling needs to be legalized. Dueling needs to be legalized. I thought we'd say it three times. We just always have to say it. Oh. I think, unless you disagree. I think in a perfect world, these rules would have been figured out at the beginning of the podcast. True. In a perfect world, our hour and 45 minute phone call would have included something about the podcast.
01:11:51
Speaker
But yeah, I think, you know, I don't think it's right for anyone to tell two fully willing adults that they can't have a duel to settle a dispute together. Yeah, I think that's right. Yeah, people want to… Are there any… Are there any contexts where you would disagree with that statement?
01:12:16
Speaker
or is that universally true in your mind? Do you need to add any asterisks? I think we would need to define an age limit, and I don't think it's 18. I think it's well above that. I'm saying 35. Are there grooming things with this, where if it's an 18-year-old girl and a 50-year-old man, is that fine? Or if they both consent to the duel, is that just normal? So you both have to be 35 and above. Got you. That's the Justin Roiland clause.
01:12:46
Speaker
Oh is that that one weird movie where like some dude's son was dating an underage girl and so they had to include it in that movie so it didn't seem as weird but it just made it weirder. Wait is what that weird movie? Is it Transformers?
01:13:04
Speaker
What's that one movie where like this guy's like... It's about the robots that turned into cars. Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Transformers was robots that were like cars, but they'd turn into like these things. It's a metaphor! It's about cars turning into women.
01:13:22
Speaker
Are you talking about uh, uh, there's one where it could like fit in maybe I don't know There's like a scene where like the main character like he has a daughter and like he opens the door and he sees her like kissing this guy He's like, how old are you? He's like, oh i'm like 18. He goes what the fuck? I'm gonna kill you. She's 17 He's like no the romeo romeo and juliet laws and he pulls out a fucking card explaining romeo and juliet laws in america, I guess Because apparently that's a fucking thing
01:13:48
Speaker
Oh yeah, that's our buddy James. To be fair, to give America credit on something, I guess. Please, please, please. I was just going to say other countries are even worse. In England and stuff, it's legal to just have sex with a 16-year-old. That is true, yeah.
01:14:08
Speaker
It's the age of consent's like 14 or 15 years ago. It's crazy. Ian, do you know every other country where that's legal? Or is that the only one? I just know relatively, I don't know, I just know relatively our age of consent is like a little bit respectable. Not, I like the... Ian's sad. And the Romeo and Juliet's fine. That's the sort of like people who started dating in high school and stuff.
01:14:31
Speaker
Yeah, but like it's the whole reason that was included in the movie was because one of the producer's sons was dating an underage girl at the time. And he was like, Hey, like this is a line like it was about to like come out as like a big controversial thing. And they're like, Well, let's include this little bit into the movie. And we'll be all set. And I was like, What the fuck? This is about robots, dog. I want to say it's fucking one of the Transformers movies.
01:14:59
Speaker
How do we get on this? What are we talking about? Yeah But before we get off of this I just want to respect Ian's dynamic zag of America's age of consent laws are fine Can't predict me Yeah, it's fucking Transformers age of extinction
01:15:28
Speaker
That came out in 2014. That's about Romeo and Juliet lost? Yeah, it was about cars that were robots. Me too, brother. It was all a metaphor, I guess, for fucking legal jabber. These movies are good.
01:15:45
Speaker
Is it like old timey? Can you throw for these trials by combat? Can you choose like a child? Yeah, someone who will be your champion and fight for you. Yeah. So I think it can be as complicated or as simple as you want. If you want it to be a group of 10 people, you know, five on each side going into the middle of the woods and whoever's the first like, the last one alive are the winners. Well, then whatever you put up for your wager against the other person is what you get.
01:16:13
Speaker
Well, you can't just like add the amount of people like that. That just becomes war. It has to be in like a single setting. It can't be like, oh, it's a three day event, you know, where we go through like a marathon. If you kill them by midnight, it's legal. What are you talking about? Yeah.
01:16:36
Speaker
I'm saying it can't take like 24 hours. It has to be like with it like a within reason Yeah, if you don't kill them by midnight, I guess we'll just go through the normal trial system I guess It'll be decided by consensus picture this you buy you buy a house where you live, right? It is very beautiful It's a large piece of land
01:16:58
Speaker
And there is a shed, which is perfect for all of the little knickknacks that you want to hide from your girlfriend. But your neighbor thinks he owns that shed. You have a whole shed for that. What's in there, do you think? You tell me, man. You tell me.
01:17:19
Speaker
What's in the shed, Morgan? Actually, there's no shed as far as I'm concerned, but what's the neighbor's problem with it? Get out of my shed. Yeah, the neighbor's like, get out of my shed. Instead of spending, what, over $80,000 in legal fees, you guys just take two pistols out back and whoever comes around yonder fucking gets it.
01:17:44
Speaker
I think I'm with you. Absolutely not mine. What depends who's asking? Yeah, maybe just while you're using it, it's your shed, and he can go get another shed because it's not that hard. He just goes to the shed library. But that's the shed he wants. Share B&B over here. He's good. He used to have an agreement with the prior owner of that house that he could use the shed, but not that he owned it. But he's trying to change up the rules now and saying that.
01:18:12
Speaker
He's used it for the last five years. So legally it's his Thank God the invention of guns because I'm not a strong man But what I am is unhinged and suicidal which just gives me an inherent advantage in battle What I'd like to say just to play devil's advocate and to advocate for his devilish activities does the dueling culture create a culture that
01:18:40
Speaker
decides who rules situations based on who is stronger than other people? No, because you have every right to say no. And you can go through normal legal proceedings. So what is that process? How do I consent or not consent to a duel?
01:18:56
Speaker
Both of you have to find, I almost said like an officiant, but anybody who can like make a legally binding contract, you both will sign a contract stating that you will both either duel to the death or not. Like that's the thing. It also doesn't have to be to the death. Like you guys can play with fucking laser tag and whoever wins gets the shit.
01:19:20
Speaker
Um, I'm back in you've solved my I could do like one on one, you know first to 11 win by two So so I have to get a notary to approve my laser tag battle To make it legally binding. Yes that if you lose this laser tag battle you lose the shed Is there any limit to what the dispute could be about?
01:19:47
Speaker
uh any anything that like uh that you would go to like court for um but i mean it can also be like hey yo you disrespected my girl dog
01:19:57
Speaker
Time to duel and if the other guys like yeah, sure. What's up? Let's do well for that type of thing You don't have to get the law you just go to valley worlds of fun and settle your beef. I think You would go to like a Saul Goodman style establishment and he would draft it up and like all right
01:20:18
Speaker
Lawyer, I think is what you're looking for. Well, I'm saying like a notary but like more like notaries would be more of a like a more staple. They wouldn't be just in government buildings. They would be like their own thing that like got their licenses and were able to like do these legal proceedings.
01:20:39
Speaker
I feel like Fritz secretly got his notary license and is trying to give them power before he reveals it to us.
Social Ecology and Freedom
01:20:47
Speaker
I actually don't. I looked into it. How to become a notary person? It's hard. I was like, fuck that. I got ordained in two minutes in the middle of a fucking Van's Warped Door concert.
01:21:05
Speaker
Do you think... Who do you think... Do you think Fritz could become a notary faster than I could become a judge? I love the idea of us improving our lives just as a fucking competition. The fact that once one of us reaches it, the other one just fucking quits. Yeah, first to graduate law school wins.
01:21:31
Speaker
I would love to see the sentence Ian tried to get out the subtitles for. That's the one deficiency of a podcast. I cosigned, buddy. There's no other way to say it. I think you've got something good there. You've got some kinks to work out, but I trust that you will. So far, Ian, what's your opinion on this? Are you cosigning? Do you have problems? Hold on. Hold on real quick, Morgan. We're hearing something in our house.
01:22:07
Speaker
This is a great time for me to use the transition music. And I'm gonna cut into the transition music exactly then. Cause we don't really have another time to use it.
01:22:44
Speaker
Uh, my utopia would be based around social ecology, social ecology, social ecology, social ecology, brother. We're listening. Social ecology. You're right. That was my fault. Basically, uh, social college ecology is a, like a developed by an author named Murray Bookchin. We've been reading a lot.
01:23:17
Speaker
He was like a social theorist, political activist, all types of stuff. And it's basically, it's a conclusion that the ecological and social crises are intertwined and can be solved within a creative democratic framework. It involves understanding our relationships with nature is mirrored in our relationships with each other.
01:23:41
Speaker
And addressing both democratically can bring us closer to a just ecological society. And basically what I'm saying is that we need to align. It's saying it looks at like social ecology looks to the natural world for principles that we can use to construct an ecological society. It's like, what is ecological about nature? And it sees that nature has particular dynamics that we need to understand if our goal is to create an ecological society.
01:24:10
Speaker
if we want to harmonize our first nature, wild, pre-human nature, and second nature, social human nature, that we need an ethical framework that we can use to guide our actions. It's saying that it's the attempt to apply beneficial lessons from natural ecology to our political and social realm because it understands that
01:24:36
Speaker
the human, our human social realm arises out of first nature. It's also part of the natural world. So the principles that foster growth and freedom and complexity and self-consciousness
01:24:55
Speaker
In the natural realm Would do the same in the we need to mirror that it's like we want to see what is ecological about nature and mirror that in our society Two things firstly I just filled a 24 ounce top boy can with piss to the brim Okay, and number two
01:25:24
Speaker
I filled it 24 in tall can with shit. I put the bush in bush light. Number two, I love our friendship, I'd like to say. And I want to dive into your actual topic, but I think I've found, this is, you and I have always said that we're like,
01:25:50
Speaker
both sides of the same coin almost, where we're like, if we were the same person and all of our skills were combined, we'd be like the perfect person. But we're not. So we lack critically things that each other have, I think, right? I think what you lack that I don't have and what I lack that you don't have can be complicated. But I think the easiest way to explain it is that
01:26:17
Speaker
You are smart, and I am funny in elevators. I could never be as funny in elevators. I could never be funny in elevators. Elevator sucks the humor out of there. What's your farting? No one wants to hear it. No one wants to hear a small doctor's in an elevator from me, but from you?
01:26:43
Speaker
That's all I have because you actually have genuine and real-life opinions that you can hold fond to your heart and sincere Emotions regarding but I do feel good in elevators and I'll actually give you real quick Do you guys want a good elevator joke with your girlfriend if you're like exiting an elevator and there's people outside?
01:27:03
Speaker
This always kills. You're leaving an elevator, you go to the first floor, and other people are getting in whenever. Or maybe you're going to the first floor, it stops at the third, people get in. It is literally always funny. People always laugh when you're like, we were fighting in there.
01:27:22
Speaker
I promise you, every single thing is bad. Sorry if the vibes are weird there. Are bad. How would you explain what you said, however, Ian, if you were explaining it to someone who doesn't know that milk expires and maybe would be upset about that? What? Chris, you know what I'm saying.
01:27:53
Speaker
I'll tell you what I tell the military tells me I have like a sixth grade reading. Okay, so So if you look at if you look at a Baby in the baby in a mom's tummy no matter what animal it is any mammal fetus
01:28:20
Speaker
is general, it's general in form and then it becomes more specific. So like it just looks as like a little bit of a blob and then you can start to see it becomes like a dog or a pig or that, oh, that's a human. So if you see like,
01:28:44
Speaker
Basically, there's a developmental, things become more complex generally. There are obviously periods of simplification in nature. A forest can burn down. Naturally, periods of simplicity happen in ecosystems via just events, random events and things like that.
01:29:14
Speaker
When things are going well in an ecosystem, it is because the ecosystem is diverse. Diversity is good. The more diverse an ecosystem is, the more plants there are in
01:29:32
Speaker
the area and the more animal life the more stable it is and if and the one that want the lots of one of those species won't make the entire ecosystem fall apart it won't make the entire like because it's like yeah they're just diversity breeds stability in nature
01:29:58
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know what I'm fucking getting at. I'm with you. No, keep going. If you see your nature, it's not going to become as easy to explain as a kindergartner to like someone who doesn't understand milk. But if you see nature as a developmental trajectory.
01:30:21
Speaker
So natural history, so like evolution is that unfolding of life from single-cell organisms to invertebrates, to vertebrates, to mammals, to higher mammals like us. So it goes from like organisms who have very nascent subjectivity in the world, like very little, like
01:30:43
Speaker
there are things that don't have that much freedom and that don't change, things that are more predictable. Like if I put a dot, like if I do a,
01:30:55
Speaker
If I put an ant on a piece of paper, I can't use an equation to figure out exactly the path it'll go because it has a little bit of will. It has its own freedom. And humans have the capacity to create and destroy. And our capacity for freedom comes from the trajectory in first nature for freedom. We're just the furthest expression of that.
01:31:23
Speaker
So it's most highly developed in humans, but I think it's a difference in degree rather than a difference of kind. And in the human social realm, just like in the natural realm, you have these bursts and freedoms and flourishes of political freedom, just like in the natural realm, and those are kind of the same things.
01:31:46
Speaker
So with our human institutions, with what we choose to bring from the natural world into the human realm, into the social realm, we're able to actualize new forms of freedom. And we can give people the material basis from which freedom arises. It's like the balance between freedom from and freedom to.
01:32:10
Speaker
like a lot of like anarchism or libertarian like the kind of right-wing libertarian is a lot about freedom from it's a freedom like the like it's a freedom to like have land but it it doesn't give as much emphasis to the context that the freedom arises out of
01:32:32
Speaker
So like that's freedom. It's not just like like I'm also very it's Okay, well actually good explanation and let me give you credit for that because that I think that was really really well explained What is how does that practically manifest as an idea? I
01:32:55
Speaker
Like what's an example of a practical manifestation of that? So if we had, say, an irreducible minimum, which is another one of my, this is like my next, one of my things, but it's like a level that no one should be able to fall below. You can also think of it as a universal basic outcome. So like a dignified home, access to food, water, internet, right to privacy.
01:33:23
Speaker
are some of the sort of basic rights that we should propose as part of a healthy society. But it's like our going even further than so-called basic needs. Like I don't think like just having the food shelter and water is enough to live a very liberated liberating free life. The correct view on the irreducible minimum is that our responsibility extends to
01:33:46
Speaker
not just food, but good food, self-actualization, opportunity, joy, everything that we do is for a need. It's to fulfill some type of need, even if it's just human connection. Can I ask a... Not to cut you off, but I... New frontiers of human freedom will be available that we can't even imagine because we're not in that situation right now.
01:34:16
Speaker
look at
01:34:37
Speaker
I have a question for you, and I think this is a stupid question, but I think that I'm good at asking stupid questions as a stupid person, which is something that I'm identifying as. And for any of my friends that would be like, man, you're not stupid. If someone else could be a woman, I could be stupid. Shut up.
01:34:58
Speaker
Not only am I a woman, I am a stupid one. Here's my thought. Conservatives will often fight back against concepts like this with general platitudes that ultimately dilute themselves into defining what is and what isn't a right. And I'm curious what the more liberal
01:35:31
Speaker
demarcation is on that concept. How is a right definable? And what is the difference between a right and a want or a need? I don't disagree with anything you're saying. I'm just curious. Because that's a very common, especially when people talk about anything related in that subject. Yeah. Well, yeah. It is an expansion of the idea of what
01:36:02
Speaker
what we have the right to, for sure. Yeah. But in a utopia, defining what our rights are is important. In any society, defining what our rights are is important. I think that's often what we fall short on is that definition. Well, I think the right it would be eliminating is the right is, I mean, what this like whole utopia would be based around is non-hierarchy. So I think like a, so you don't, what you don't have is the right to control like
01:36:31
Speaker
command to control people with resort with
01:36:35
Speaker
the punishment of violence if they don't, whether that's starvation, that's also violence. But you don't have the right to be hierarchically above somebody and command and control them, which is not the same as expertise. There's still things like expertise and there can still be people who are better at certain skills, but when differences are understood as complementary instead of
01:37:06
Speaker
bad. Everywhere you look, it's more about, I think we see a lot of the fruit of cooperative differences more than disguised as the pros of capitalism or the pros of hierarchy and stuff on a team or a movie set.
01:37:30
Speaker
the director or like people with certain skills and expertise in that have a specific role might be able to offer more input and have like on a certain they have an expertise in something but that doesn't give them the right to command people with the threat of violence. So that form of hierarchy as a command and control relationship.
01:37:56
Speaker
wouldn't exist. But this is where it's complicated. And when people talk about like the 2016 election or the 2020 election, especially, they'll be like, did you vote for Trump? I'm conservative. No, I voted for Chris Christie. I'm as conservative as they come. I voted for Rand freaking Paul. I think they're the fatal flaw with capitalism, and this is more me agreeing with you than disagreeing with you, is that leverage
01:38:24
Speaker
is a necessary piece of any system and leverage and capitalism is uncapped. So leverage can become out of hand as people become inequitably lost. What do you mean by leverage being essential to any system?
01:38:47
Speaker
Well, I think that leverage on its own is not a bad thing, especially as we look at industry's ability to allocate resources effectively. And leverage, an individual does not have to have leverage. And more so, an individual can utilize leverage in a way that isn't selfish or greedy.
01:39:13
Speaker
Like an example is the cost of goods lowering because of the leverage of a specific manufacturer who has an exclusive contract to manufacture those goods. They have that contract as a result of the leverage that they have within the community, but because of said leverage, they can produce things at a lower rate than individual companies can.
01:39:41
Speaker
which does create a market inefficiency, but outside of an individual example like that, success in business is definably leverage. And the more leverage you have with your employer, the more negotiating power you have with your salary, the more leverage you have with your customers, the more negotiating power you have as it relates to how you set your prices.
01:40:04
Speaker
So because line grow up in GDP and profit has to go up every quarter, what success is as a company is defined by the profit mode of not making the world better.
01:40:20
Speaker
This is the same for private companies. It's not just public companies. And I'm not saying that this is a system that I'm agreeing with or enforcing. I'm just saying that I believe it to be true. An individual or an organization that has leverage is a more efficiently run organization. And that is why capitalism becomes so intrinsically evil at certain points is because
01:40:46
Speaker
leverage weeds out competition and creates market inefficiencies that could be taken advantage of over and over and over again. And I guess what I'm saying is that leverage is inescapable as we talk about these solutions that are scalably large. And the problem with capitalism, I've always believed, was that there is no tipping point for
01:41:16
Speaker
how to give organizations leverage in a way that they cannot abuse the power of. And that's what's such a difficult issue. Like how can you empower organizations in a way where they could succeed and not empower them so much so that they could abuse. And it's a very difficult balance to strike.
01:41:38
Speaker
workplace democracy. I mean, things like worker co-ops and unions. Yeah. Certainly. It was a direct correlation with the decline of unions and wage stagnation. Yeah. I think you're very right. Yeah. So, I mean, that's a big part of my video, like, I'm not mine, but like the social ecology, library socialist, like,
01:42:03
Speaker
vision would be that, yeah, there's workplace democracy, you know, people, communities were broken in the confederation that meet in direct assemblies, so like neighborhood assemblies face-to-face,
01:42:21
Speaker
a democracy of actually managing your local affairs where everybody, it's like a bottom-up system as opposed to a top-down, where everybody has, like I say, and they send recallable delegates to meet other people, like, into a confederation, like confederations send recallable delegates that act as proxies, not decision makers. They can speak on behalf of what democratically was already voted on and discussed, like,
01:42:51
Speaker
I don't think it has to be a top-down structure, a hierarchical structure. I think eliminating bosshood in the way it exists now is a defining feature of a post-capitalist world.
01:43:08
Speaker
Yeah, and I don't think those are crazy assertions. I just think that the challenges that we face, if that is the end goal, it's to more specifically define those. I think the pain point in what your end goal is
01:43:34
Speaker
communities and organizations using leverage responsibly and historically, whether it be government.
01:43:42
Speaker
or whether it be corporation, historically, most of the time, when you empower an individual, they abuse that power. And I certainly don't think that our system now is worth it. But I just think, generally speaking, and right now, by the way, the corporations are abusing it worse than the government ever could. But I think that that's a problem that's worth discussing, is what checks and balances could we put in place, regardless of whether we're limiting power of government or power of company, you know?
01:44:11
Speaker
Well, but we're talking about this, like, Utopia, and I do fundamentally believe all human beings deserve a dignified life free from coercion. And that would be, like, part of what the irreducible minimum in all of this would foster is allowing people to explore new frontiers of freedom without
01:44:37
Speaker
you know, like threat of coercion and starvation and violence and systemic violence. And right now, power is distributed based on historical distributions of violence and luck.
01:44:53
Speaker
Yeah, certainly. And I think to give you credit and to lead into what you're saying, I think one of the most unfair portions of the system isn't just the success that comes with nepotistic systems, as we have in place right now, but it's the skill sets that are handed down. And when we look at people's capability to succeed,
01:45:21
Speaker
People who have parents who have succeeded, grandparents who have succeeded, great-grandparents who have succeeded are given more accurate skills. It's like, as a way to level the playing field, it is ridiculous that that is the case. And I don't know. I just. So talk about not killing an Uber driver for a second.
01:45:44
Speaker
I think that it's a very similar conversation. All I'm saying, and I don't disagree with anything you were saying, it's a very similar conversation and how do we get people to not abuse power regardless of whether they're talking about government or we're talking about corporations. And that's where conservatives usually get it wrong. They trust corporations to not abuse power because of some sort of free market that in theory exists. And they decidedly believe that government will.
01:46:13
Speaker
But we've seen thus far that individuals will abuse power when given the opportunity. Right. And I think there's a lot of potential, like I've been learning about so many checks that we can, that are able to be built into our institutions that make it harder to
01:46:33
Speaker
gain that type of leverage and power over people, that there are checks and balances that do exist and can exist through direct democracy and of eliminating hierarchical power structures entirely. And it's crazy to me that if we do, even if you do fundamentally believe that greed and all these
01:46:59
Speaker
You know, the very individualist like agreed is like just human nature. Then why build a system, a social realm that like rewards that type of behavior? Like the word, why make a word like society and instant and build institutions?
01:47:18
Speaker
that reward the worst in us, which I don't believe that that's human nature. I think human nature, if there's anything not fundamental to human nature, is our creativity and ability to try out new modes of social organization.
01:47:36
Speaker
Like human history, there has been cities like throughout human history that existed more around mutual aid. Like it's not just about scalability either. That's like been debunked. That like there... Panta City is one of those cities. Yeah. The revolution in Rojava happening right now is super inspiring to me.
01:48:04
Speaker
There's a lot of stuff. There's a lot of really inspiring stuff if you look for it. And a lot of great alternatives to the system we have now. And I think in talking about utopia, I mean, the goal of oppressors is to limit your imagination about what's possible without them. And I think imagining something better and getting curious about what it actually takes to make them happen is super important. And it's like,
01:48:31
Speaker
a lot like talking about like that it can lead to that can just make you like inert and be like oh I'm happy imagining this perfect world but I've been my happiest and most like excited and inspired to actually and move to action by this type of like hope that I'm seeing by looking for these and looking into these like utopias and these alternatives to the world we have now as opposed to
01:49:00
Speaker
how I was before just existing in it and being like, all right, the world's fucked. And that is what brought the most lethargic sense of being in me. What medicine were you taking? What medicine were you taking? I was taking sertraline. And what did the government or your therapist or whoever tell you you don't have to take anymore? I mean, I decided I don't have to take it,
01:49:29
Speaker
Sir Trillene, read it and weep. Are you kidding me? That's amazing. I mean, this is genuine optimism. I hope you're right because otherwise you're going to be back in this antidepressant like crazy. And I mean, I don't think any of this shit's the stuff that I'm going to see in my lifetime either. But I think it's a it's about directionality and inspiration. And there's a couple different forms of action that
01:49:59
Speaker
It can be manifested in. One of the pillars is narrative work, talking about it, discussing it with people like we're doing right here. But then there's also pre-figurative practices, food not bombs, mutual aid, tool libraries, file sharing protocols. And then you can try to work it into the institutions we have now and then direct some of those resources in the ways we would like to have them directed.
01:50:29
Speaker
Certainly. And I think so much of it is about assigning value to things that are not liquid capital. And there are a lot of people who hate a system that is anything but a trading system. But cash or a currency is just a system that makes a trading system more efficient. It still is a trading system. But my point in saying that is if a corporation
01:50:57
Speaker
or an individual were to see $20 on the floor, they're gonna pick it up.
01:51:04
Speaker
And our goal in society is to assign value to things that people can see as translatable to the value of money found on the ground for free.
Watermelon Gender Stereotypes
01:51:19
Speaker
Because corporations and governments have more liquid opportunities to come into money.
01:51:30
Speaker
Their ability to act responsibly in those moments is entirely dictated on the liquid value of things that are not genuine cash. If you were to find an apple on the ground, you may split it with your friend. If you were to find a $20 bill on the ground, no matter who you are, you're putting it in your fucking pocket. And our ability to assign value to things beyond just
01:51:57
Speaker
currency ends up being a gigantic part in our ability to communally work together beyond that because things have value but until we can act as if they do, it's an obstacle. Sure.
01:52:21
Speaker
I'm saying that because Ian and I were at a frickin' front bottoms concert, and he found a frickin' poison apple. It was a PBR-soaked poison apple, and he saved the thing for himself, and he claims he's a fuckin' Cher B&B... whatever, but... It's whatever. I don't... I don't mind it. I will cosign that, actually. Ian, I'm becoming less conservative the more money I make, which is funny.
01:52:53
Speaker
I don't think that's how it's supposed to work. Actually, I think it is, actually. Yeah, you got to get what you always want so you realize it's not where it's at. I agree. Fritz, what are your thoughts? Any moral conundrums? Any vetoes, or do you cosign? I really like the visual of the fetus. Thank you. So I cosign. Certainly.
01:53:21
Speaker
Certainly. All right, my next one I think you guys will, I hope you don't disagree with. We're talking about utopia. We're talking about how to make the world better. And I hope that you guys don't think I'm a terrible person for saying this. But if I had any one idea to make the world better, it would be to invent a woman that knows how to pick a watermelon out. You guys know women. You guys have been in relationships and you have friends that are women.
01:53:50
Speaker
And I don't know if it's some biological gene. Firstly, I think women are better than men. I think women are smarter. I think they're stronger. I think they're more capable. I think they should be paid more. But you guys have absolutely no clue how to pick out a watermelon. And anyone who's ever been on a date with a girl picked out a watermelon will sing my praises right now. That's all that's missing in my life. I make good money. I have a good job. I have good friends.
01:54:21
Speaker
But I'm eating shitty watermelon? Because the bitch I love doesn't know how to pick one out? Are you kidding me? No, I just think that I've never met a woman that I loved that knew how to pick a watermelon out. They're always so wrong on it.
01:54:43
Speaker
So my idea is, uh, I don't know if it's a class or a zoom. It's just like, uh, whatever needs to happen for women to know how to pick a good watermelon. Does this, does this apply to other fruit as well? Or is it purely exclusively watermelon?
01:55:09
Speaker
My girlfriend could pick better strawberries than me every day of the week. She could look at a watermelon and suddenly she's retarded. Well, I mean, that's not what we're arguing. What if she's bad at picking strawberries?
01:55:22
Speaker
She's not bad at picking strawberries. I've never met a woman who's bad at picking strawberries. I think that it's a difference between men and women. I think women are good at picking everything, but a good watermelon. And I think men are pretty good at picking up a good watermelon. And I would appreciate if that flopped or if, I want them to have that knowledge. I want them to be good at it, but they're not. You think like two years mandatory watermelon picking service right out of high school for them?
01:55:52
Speaker
Yeah, well, I mean, I don't know that we enlist them or anything. Maybe we could send them a Google Doc, you know? Like, let's not overly complicate what it takes to pick a good watermelon. No, no, no, no. You have to make it. Because you know a larger majority of them will just say, oh, yeah, I read the doc. They didn't read the fucking doc. No, no one reads the fucking schoolwork that you send them. Now, you need to put them in a mandatory college dedicated to picking the right watermelon.
01:56:22
Speaker
Here's, yeah, well, I don't, I disagree with that, but I do think that, so women should be allowed to vote? Yes. Women should be allowed to have abortions freely and without question and or judgment? Yes. Women should be respected in the workplace and paid equally? Yes. So like, I just, I don't know. I don't have any other problematic opinions on women, but I,
01:56:47
Speaker
It's just clear to me at this point in my life that women don't know how to pick out a good watermelon. And I hope that they figure that out. Even more so than a utopia is it is a hope. Ian, you've got a girlfriend. You guys have been dating for about six months. How many times have you eaten watermelon together? Answer that first. Once or twice? Once, I think.
01:57:12
Speaker
Once I want you to explain to me the fruition of said watermelon with no description of quality first You mean like where it came from Yes, just six talk to me about the day, you know, what were you? What were you wearing? We went to the park and and had a picnic and she had already prepared bags of like Some some fruits and stuff and she had some watermelon
01:57:40
Speaker
Okay, and then honestly, and by the way, I'm not looking for you to fulfill my own narrative. If you disagree with me, if anecdotally, a lease can pick out a watermelon, that's wonderful. That's actually what I'm asking for. I want you to rate that watermelon from one as the worst watermelon you've ever had, and 10, the best watermelon you've ever had. Nine.
01:58:09
Speaker
It was almost the best watermelon. I probably had watermelon four or five times in my life. It might have been the best. I just didn't want to say that and make you feel bad. I don't want to say anything against Elise. I hope that she's fantastic. Have you ever had another girl pick you up watermelon? Or is that? I don't think so. Not to get you in trouble with Elise. No, I don't think so.
01:58:38
Speaker
Right, so every time before then you've always picked the watermelon out. Or it just appeared to me. I don't know if a woman picked it out. Sometimes it's just at events and how do I know who planned it? I know. I can tell. You know when you go to a restaurant and the food is so good and you're like, can I talk to the chef?
01:59:03
Speaker
As you go to a baby shower and the watermelon is a rancid And I need to speak I need a sister-in-law Give me give me the sister-in-law in charge of the watermelon immediately And then you try really good watermelon you're like let me speak to the definitively male chef Let me speak to this guy. He's definitely a guy. This is the best goddamn watermelon ever had in my life. I
01:59:31
Speaker
And I also want to say I've never been in a position where I was eating watermelon. I was sitting there thinking, thank you, men. Thank you. Thank you, my man, my friend. I've been burned so many times. And I remember there's this moment. I was talking. It was this old customer that I had at my retail job. And we were talking about watermelon. And I was just like, man, I don't know what it is. But my fucking girlfriend can't pick out a watermelon to save her life.
01:59:59
Speaker
And he said, she never will be able to. And it's just stuck with me. Fritz, what is your thought? Do you think that I have anecdotally been exposed to women who are terrible at picking watermelons? Or do you think my experience is indicative of this trend at large?
02:00:23
Speaker
Unfortunately, I haven't had the experience of where I was to know the gender of who picked my watermelons for me, because really the only times I've eaten watermelons have been when it's been brought to our house by either Ian or Riley. Did you have watermelon as a kid ever? I did, but I never knew. Tell me this right now. What's up?
02:00:52
Speaker
If you were to think of your father and your mother who are in love with each other, last I checked, is that still going good? Wonderful, love hearing that. Hope that this doesn't disrupt it. Who do you think between your mother and your father is better at picking out watermelon? Honestly, do not let me change your opinion. Just tell me what you think.
02:01:26
Speaker
I would have to save my mother. I gotta say, I gotta ask, is there that much of a variance in quality of watermelon? I'm thinking and I'm like, I just think every watermelon ever has tastes exactly the same. How many bad watermelon? What's a bad watermelon like? What happens to a bad watermelon? And why are you picking a good watermelon? Watermelon has an enormous variance in quality. There's a whole science to picking a good watermelon.
02:01:52
Speaker
Well, the whole thing is, so texture is a big piece of it. Sweetness is another part of it. If it's like 90% seed. This is a seed. You bitch. You bitch. You bitch. You bitch. This is a seed. Every seed you spit out, you put seeds in here.
02:02:21
Speaker
My boys pick out the seeds before they give it to me. They cut the seeds out, like cutting off the crust. Daddy always cuts the seed out the watermelon. Daddy always, your frat brothers spit watermelon into your mouth. This is what I like. You bitch. Mom always leaves the seeds in.
02:02:48
Speaker
Mummy, these seeds are killing me! You bitch! Yeah, that's how I feel, and I don't want to be sexist either, and maybe I've outed myself as a sexist, but if I am a sexist, what I'd like to say is that I agree with women on every other issue. I just proved to me, proved to me you know how to pick out a watermelon, is all I'm saying. Morgan, you've ever had a square watermelon?
02:03:21
Speaker
No. But I, I'd be open to it. It's the exact same thing. It's just instead of a round shape, it doesn't affect the texture at all. Nope. I mean, the, the corners get like more of the rye rind, I guess, but other than that, yeah, it's pretty good.
02:03:47
Speaker
No, good to know. I've seen people started doing, like, Frankenstein face water mounds. Ooh. Yeah, it's like a whole, it's like a whole thing. Not, not watermelon purist. So if we sign off on this, what exactly are we signing off on? I think you're signing off on. Well, no, it's not.
02:04:10
Speaker
Not forcing women, it's just like, in a perfect world, they would know how they get the knowledge.
02:04:19
Speaker
Can you give it to them right now? Do you know? What is your method for picking out a watermelon? Well, I will give my method. And this better be long enough to fill a fucking pamphlet at least. I'll fill a pamphlet with my cum. You piece of shit. The watermelon method is a whole thing. But what I'd like to say is
02:04:45
Speaker
You try telling Elise how to pick a watermelon. You try telling her that the watermelons she picked are bad, regardless of how good they are, and see how receptive she is to that. My girlfriend's sitting downstairs. I got a promotion earlier today. It's a good week for me. She texted me, and she said, hey, I got you a 15 pack of Coors Banquet. And she ordered pizza. I got a frickin' pizza party. She's wonderful.
02:05:13
Speaker
But if I go down there after everything that she's done for me today and say, baby, can I talk to you about something? The watermelons you've been picking, they're just not sweet enough. You tell me how you think that'll go. They're just not, I just feel like they're not that ripe. You know, like when you pick a watermelon, they're like supposed to taste good, the ones you pick don't.
02:05:39
Speaker
So in your perfect world, they would just be receptive to criticism about their skills at picking out watermelons? No, I want nothing to do with the delivery. I just hope that a science beam... I just hope they wake up knowing how to pick a watermelon. I want them to have the knowledge. I don't want to gatekeep it. I want to have the knowledge. Stop gatekeeping! Fritz, do you know how to pick a good watermelon?
02:06:08
Speaker
No, I feel like you don't want one that's too dented or something. You can't see inside of it until after you get it You don't want to get it too small and if you wait too long, it's gonna get rotten Yeah, don't get a rotten one Your one that still looks like a watermelon just picture a watermelon in your mind and then open it up and look at the watermelons and pick one that looks the most like the watermelon you had in your
02:06:34
Speaker
Yeah, well you tell your girlfriend that next time she goes to the supermarket. Hey, what do you want? Give me a watermelon, but do me a favor. Don't get a fucking rotten one. You tell me how that fucking goes. Jesus fucking Christ!
02:06:46
Speaker
This is the trick. This is it. This is what you're looking for. What you want to do is you want to look at the pile of watermelons on the supermarket floor. There's going to be a whole bunch of them. All of them are bad, except one. You're going to close your eyes and you're going to open them. There's going to be one that you immediately see. You will grab it with your two hands.
02:07:07
Speaker
and you will hold it up to your ear and you will check how hollow is this thing on a scale from 0 to 100. Anything above 65% is eligible as it has the propensity to be a good watermelon. That is not the exclusive deciding factor.
02:07:29
Speaker
Some people think that if you find a watermelon that has a sunspot, it's like a golden area where it was laying on the ground like a beige circle. Those are good watermelons. I think China has been distributing that information. Those are rotten watermelons.
02:07:51
Speaker
Fucking rotten it doesn't they could be a hundred percent hollow sounding. They're working Morgan Morgan Is this the part where you pull out your Romeo and Juliet card for watermelons? What about a white field spot? Yeah It is irrelevant to the quality of the watermelon What about a longer one that's more as opposed to a round one? You've you've solved it
02:08:14
Speaker
You are looking for the combination, if you're picking watermelon, because you don't get to pick the perfect watermelon every time. You have to deal with what they have at the grocery. You want the most hollow, most oblong freak of a watermelon that exists. The rounder, the worse. That's just true.
02:08:40
Speaker
The oblong freak with the hollow body? That's the bitch you want to marry. That's the watermelon to buy. So it says, I'm looking at sharks. Uniform size and heavy is sweet. Elongated is watery. Orange field spot is full of flavor. White field spot, little to no taste. Webbing is sweet. And then Fritz was showing me a different one.
02:09:08
Speaker
that also had information. Those aren't right. Yeah, you were wrong about the charts are made by women.
02:09:18
Speaker
uh sorry tanfield spot is ripe it says uh brown stem is ripe darker rind tanfield spot is relevant look this is like one of those pseudosciences where people claim to know more than they know all of that information i think that's you you're doing it what do you mean i'm doing it i am the watermelon g i'm a watermelon g i've never had a good watermelon picked by you
02:09:46
Speaker
We've never been on a picnic. We've never been on a picnic. But if you did, I'm the fucking watermelon G and you want to have the best goddamn watermelon. It's time to put money where your fucking mouth is. All right. You're coming up here and you're bringing a goddamn motherfucking watermelon and we're going to cut that shit open and lie. And then we're going to get a panel of five women to also pick out watermelon. We can pick out yours, the obviously better tasting one among the bad, the ones that the women picked out.
02:10:16
Speaker
I think that proves your science right. Then we live in the utopia. I'm up for a challenge. I'm very up for a challenge. And Fritz, Ian, you weren't able to get off. But you're coming down here. We're going camping next month. So there's a tie. You think I'm not going to have a watermelon for our camping trip? All right. I need you and your girlfriend to both buy a watermelon.
02:10:39
Speaker
There's no point for her to buy a watermelon. Hear me out. Hear me out. Whether I'm right about women knowing how to pick watermelon is almost irrelevant to the point that I have been cursed with a partner who cannot. That is the information that is factual.
02:10:59
Speaker
Then change your utopian trajectory. Show her the way. We're working. We're working on it. Fritz, you go. Wait, wait, wait. Are you any any moral objection? Neither of us. Yeah, no, that's a no. You're afraid to put your pen down.
02:11:24
Speaker
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I will prove it to you. And the way I will prove it to you will be simple. I will gather 100 women. They will know nothing of our contest. They can't. It would ruin the control. It would, yeah, it would ruin the control. I will say, hey, you 100 women.
02:11:53
Speaker
Find me a watermelon that is perfect and sweet and ripe. And they will adorn their local farmer's markets, picking up the worst of the watermelons. And you know what I will do? I will go after all 100 of these women. And I will come with a watermelon that is sweeter than kindness herself. My brothers, will you co-sign on this?
02:12:24
Speaker
I don't know, what do you think? What? What? What am I co-signing on? You co-sign on this. You're co-signing on, I don't know, something with me and a hundred women. No. No way. I don't know if your girlfriend would approve. With how you feel about these women and their watermelon picking skills, I don't want you anywhere near them. I think that's fine. What I would like you to do, Ian, is that I would like you to
02:12:53
Speaker
Tell your girlfriend of my theory in a way that doesn't make me sound like a bad guy. And I just want to hear her methodology and I'd like to do that. Morgan, I don't know how to do that. You're sounding like a real piece of shit right now with your watermelon opinion. Morgan, I didn't know you thought like this. I don't know if I feel comfortable.
02:13:15
Speaker
Look, I don't mean to be anti-woman. I think they're better than me. I think they should make more money than me. I just think that God forsake them in making them incapable of picking out a good watermelon. Is all I'm saying. So it's like a genetics thing. Yes, it's not their fault. No, he brought God into it. You can't bring science into it. You're mixing your metaphors.
02:13:43
Speaker
Alright, well that's fine. Well, you guys didn't cosign on it, which is whatever. So Fritz, your turn. Because we have somehow only halfway gotten through this. Let's just do like one more. Two and a half hours long. Let's do... or three more. We'll see. We'll at least do one more per person after this round.
02:14:01
Speaker
Okay.
New Beginnings and Access to Culture
02:14:02
Speaker
So, uh, my, I'll switch them up because I feel like Ian's been reading them all. I can't read your handwriting, bro. Especially upside down. Okay. So my utopian is a world without Ian. Um, I think it would make it very nice because he's mean.
02:14:27
Speaker
I'm getting so my, my real utopian heartbreak in right now, I'm crying. You'd already texted me. Is, uh, that, um, all across the world, there are, uh, reset buttons that once you click it, a group of people come out and they grab you and they strip you of all your clothes and your name, your past life, any possessions that you've had are now redistributed.
02:14:56
Speaker
to someone else, and you are moved around the world, given a new identity, a new name, to start fresh. I like this one. I love it. Wait, but you choose to pick the button? Mm-hmm. Yeah, you have to give consent saying, yes, I want this to happen. I want a total reset of my life. I'd say, in my utopia, that's also true. Yeah, you should be allowed to disappear completely. Yeah. What was that, Morgan?
02:15:26
Speaker
Does it cost anything? No, but you also don't get to choose where you're going. It's where the needs of the world need to. Okay, so it's like a witness protection program, but more ethical kind of? Yeah, like say you're in America and you're working in construction. You're like, I really don't want to do this anymore. Click the button. Boom. Different name. Now you're living in England and you're an accountant.
02:15:58
Speaker
you see how many times am i allowed to click the button that's why i was i would say there's like a four year waiting period like you click it you have to wait four years well i say especially if you're getting like instant training on these new positions you already seem like when you arrive you get like this like
02:16:14
Speaker
full training. I think that's great. I think it de-emphasizes the need for a singular career and allows more flexibility for moving around career paths and trying new things. You could be like, all right, I'm going to hit the button. And then you get to try out being a fucking poop shoveler for a couple of weeks. But you know that you are contributing to the community.
02:16:38
Speaker
I love it. Thank you. Interesting. I think every time I drive home from work and it's been a bad day, all that's on my mind my entire drive home is I could be in Tampa in nine hours. So I think for people like me who don't have it all figured out, this could end up being a negative, but I want it.
02:17:00
Speaker
I don't care that it's a negative. I think it's helpful for other people. It's bad for me, and I don't care that it's bad for me. I will say, it won't be like an instant like, oh, we're putting you on a plane in 10 minutes. It's like, you can say goodbye. Yeah, for the next couple of days, you are packing up. No, you're not packing up. You should leave me everything fine.
02:17:20
Speaker
but you're you can choose who to like say my yeah like i still say you could keep sort of an identity for certain people essentially i'm just explaining what the military does to people you move every four years and sometimes you do a different job and your friends that you've made in one place you will never see them again except for like your immediate family who you will constantly call and go see
02:17:46
Speaker
I don't like it anymore. I know welcome brothers join the military. It's cool. I do like it in that it gives people a chance to start over when things get really bad.
02:18:00
Speaker
And perhaps that encourages people to make changes in their bad situations. But I fear that what it will actually do is encourage people who take advantage of others to avoid consequences and start over, you know? Well, like you'll still have like a record.
02:18:19
Speaker
Like you can't wait get out of what is this? This is just a military now My job with necessity like this well, it's it's like the government's helping you move Essentially the government's like hey, you know, yeah, but the job they're giving you is also for the state, right? it doesn't have to be it could be some corporation that's like a
02:18:42
Speaker
oh great hey we're looking for you know shovel poop you know we need poop shovelers and you're like all right well hey congratulations you're a poop shoveler in uh Czechoslovakia now so and i have to agree because that was my example and i liked it before so i have to like it now shoot fuck my consistent ass and you know if you end up you don't like that job it's just four years
02:19:10
Speaker
And you just hit that button again, boom, bada, boom. You're all good. And you're suddenly the CEO of the country. Yeah. The poop shovel company of the country. I could possibly moral object to that. You know, Morgan's getting the EP. I think it's time to shut down the podcast. No, it's not. We're doing four more ideas each. We're doing another three hour episode. The missile is EP.
02:19:40
Speaker
I'm not getting sleepy. I did wake up, but I've been up a long time. It's been a long day. Me too, brother. Me too. We'll have to work early to learn. Well, four more things. We'll be out of here in another 30 minutes. Stop sounding like my dad. All right.
02:20:03
Speaker
I am no moral objections, and I have no problem co-signing in what is like a perfect fix your life button. I don't think that's what you described, but yeah. I'm pretty sure that's how I sign off. I'll sign off. Sure. Awesome, guys. Yeah. I think I had the least amount of things signed off on so far. I mean, I kind of need you to take this one. Only one thing hasn't been signed off on so far.
02:20:33
Speaker
Two things. You guys didn't sign off on my first and last thing. What was your first one? It was like, does my first thing. The tortoise? I turned off on that one. He did. So we all have to? Yes. If anyone disagrees, it doesn't happen. Because there's only three of us. It's not that hard to get a majority. True. Can I go back and sign off on that one?
02:21:02
Speaker
Uh, no, you must shit yourself. You must shit thyself. You are, you are doomed to a moment where you pray to God up toward a potty was available. I wish I could give it to you though. That's not my choice. I think it's yours and it's your turn. Or is it yours Morgan? No, it's Morgan. No, it's your turn. Um, legalized online libraries.
02:21:33
Speaker
Alright go into it. Let's legalize online libraries. Let's talk about it. So Right now we have wait wait Fritz what? Legal say it. Oh fuck What was it again legalize online libraries legalize online libraries in other words legalize online lies piracy legalize online libraries and
02:21:59
Speaker
Well, those are different ideas, but I'm in for that. No, that's just a nicer way to frame it. Well, there are online, let's talk about it. Let me not get ahead of your thing. All right. Well, right now we have the technology.
02:22:15
Speaker
We have the technological potential to have right now on your phone or computer access to all writings and all languages produced by humankind, access to unlimited textbooks, unlimited documentaries, movies, music, all human culture could be a search away, all cataloged and preserved. There is no technological boundaries here. There is only
02:22:39
Speaker
and intellectual property regime and arbitrary laws. It would just naturally happen if we just stopped punishing the people who already do it, archive.org and, you know, pyrobay. For the purposes of human thriving and flourishing, the amount of human knowledge and potential that would be unlocked by a move like this is, I think, hard to put into words.
02:23:08
Speaker
free access to information would be revolutionary for society. There's a conversation to be had around limiting copyright terms or even abolishing it completely, but at the base level, giving an exemption for libraries will unlock so much potential. I even have a transitional step in this.
02:23:30
Speaker
It's a known fact that most profits on an IP are earned within the first five years, a few years, five years about. So there could be about a five-year buffer and then everything enters into the Creative Commons.
02:23:45
Speaker
uh right what's the current transition years or a hundred years well like what is it it's like it's like it's like it's like yeah it's like uh 70 or something but with an asterisk like not everything gets to like there's still estates to own stuff and it's insane to me you can't earn the dead person's art you can't own a dead person's art like that's bullshit um and a lot of the argument for against it now is like you know like how will artists
02:24:15
Speaker
like make their money and it's like artists the real question is how are artists going to get their needs met and I answered that with my irreducible minimum question because really artists don't want these boundaries artists want as many people to see what they do as possible and it's just inconvenient that in order to survive they have to put up these artificial paywalls and things like that
02:24:38
Speaker
But just what it would unlock to have access. Artists also need art and cultural information and to be able to have access to all this. It could be an app on your phone.
02:24:55
Speaker
And it wouldn't it would be like it could be cataloged. It could be a project undertaken by everybody to digitize all these books and make a massive collective online global universal library that. Like you would have like a movie and then you could also like there could be like a dropdown link where it also has a bunch of essays written on the movie.
02:25:24
Speaker
uh... like a synopsis uh... the behind the scenes the talking like this it's did all types of like
02:25:36
Speaker
or human culture made available for everybody. And I think it would make every one of us richer. Even the richest among us don't have access to writings that are impossible to access. This is a library bigger than even the richest people on earth right now have access to. And the only thing limiting it is...
02:25:58
Speaker
Hey, Morgan, wake up. Morgan, I'm sort of rich. I am rich enough to have things like that. Speak for yourself. You don't have texts from a library in Egypt. It's hard to access. If we actually cataloged absolutely everything and made it a global undertaking, there would be stuff that the richest people cannot access.
02:26:24
Speaker
Everybody remember this, this global undertaking, this podcast is brought to you by feastables. Yummy, yummy in my tummy. Enjoy the delicious flavor of these nuts and everything else that comes with it is ridiculous. I feel like the current creator economy and it's weird because I,
02:26:53
Speaker
I feel like people have revisionist history over the quality of art. I think the quality of art actually remains the same regardless of the integrity of art, which I think is interesting. What do you mean? I think generations are equally capable regardless of what it takes to create art. You don't think having access
02:27:17
Speaker
You don't think having access to more art makes the quality of the art the artist is making better? Like somebody who has more to throw into their cauldron, their creative cauldron to pour out something else. You don't think the quality of the thing that they're putting out is better because they have access to, they can just look, they can do their research without paying a bunch of money. Education is open and free. You don't think the quality would go up?
02:27:46
Speaker
no i don't i don't think that but what i do think is that the the product of art becomes more beneficial to the end user with that same context but i i do think
02:28:04
Speaker
What I mean by that is that the average person creating art is barely creating art. I think that artists transcend their generation. And I think the people who are going to make an impact will not be limited by the deficiencies or difficulties that their time is defined by.
02:28:30
Speaker
And I don't think you can say that art now is more or less valuable than art in the past as a result of any of the accessibility of information in any period.
02:28:40
Speaker
But there are certainly a bunch of people who aren't creating, that aren't realizing their full human potential because of the like limits of the system. They don't like, I would create way more art if my basic needs were met. I would do more that I feel that resonates in my actual bones. More people would do the stuff that actually calls to them instead of doing remedial labor just to get their bills met. And I think just globally, the like,
02:29:10
Speaker
But you don't think there's a tipping point to everyone now wants to be a YouTube. Everyone now wants to be an artist. Everyone wants to be a singer, whatever it is. Do you think that there's infinite, meaningful art to be created? Yes. I guess that's where the difference is. I disagree. I actually think that meaningful art will transcend anything else, and everyone's yearning to be an artist.
02:29:39
Speaker
is a separate and irrelevant fact. And I say that as someone who yearns to be an artist. And how are you defining art? I think art can be anything that's paid attention to. It can be kind of loose when we're talking about it like that, too. Well, I think it's impossible to really define art. Yeah, right. There's plenty of cultures that never had a boundary between life and art.
02:30:05
Speaker
But I think the ability for someone to impact someone else's life with art is something that the average person, regardless of what they have access to, will never be able to meaningfully do. And that's just, that's not a bad thing. No, I think it is. I think it's beautiful that people can flourish in all these unique ways when they're like,
02:30:34
Speaker
not struggling to survive, that they can pursue, they can go in way more directions, even if it's not art necessarily, like, you know, just providing, you know, contributing to their communities in ways that actually call to them and speak to them as opposed to what they feel they need to do.
02:30:57
Speaker
I just feel like, and maybe you disagree with this, but I don't want to reduce your point into anything, but generally speaking, what it implies is that as the standard of living increases, the output of art from society increases. They are part of meaningful art from society in a crisis. And I actually don't think that that, huh? Just art.
02:31:26
Speaker
Well, I, well, I guess art is good. More art is good inherently. Yes, I agree with that. But more art is not defining inherently. You know, like, I think that art can be, art is expression, not can be expression. Art is expression, but I think expression can be just sometimes for the,
02:31:53
Speaker
person making the expression. And I think for your art to impact somebody, I just don't think as the standard of living increases, that more art will be more impactful. I actually think that it's of anything the opposite, that more art will be less impactful proportionally, that art will have more localized meaning
02:32:15
Speaker
And instead of us being like, all right, yeah, 40 million people love, I love Lucy, and they tune in every Tuesday when it's on, I think that we find individual value in different art. But I don't know that that contributes to a society that values aren't more necessary. I just think that it's like the same distribution system, just less top-heavy, which is good.
02:32:46
Speaker
I don't wanna put words in your mouth either, don't let me. Yeah, I didn't say they value more, they value art more or anything. I'm just saying that it would foster human thriving for everybody to have access to our shared culture, both as in form of knowledge and like a more educated society is good.
02:33:16
Speaker
I mean it started with just the principle of online public libraries. I just want to play fucking Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess on modern fucking consoles, but Nintendo's making it too fucking hard.
02:33:32
Speaker
Yeah, exactly. This guy's talking about the real people. Some fucking company. And it's like not even like the current copyright IP system is benefiting artists right now anyway. Most artists are not getting their money from the copyright hold that they have on their art. It's like, you know, in music it's like merch and usually like direct donations, which still would exist in this participation. The artists that you like, you can support directly.
02:34:02
Speaker
And I think the question around how it's gonna get made and stuff is more like how artists gonna get their needs met is like the argument against it. But I don't know. Yeah, and I also think that, and this isn't the point that you're making, this is almost a separate thought, but it's like.
02:34:25
Speaker
I feel like we live in a culture now where everyone wants to do, or all everyone wants to do is monetize their art. They want to make a career as an artist. And I think that that is such a dilutant and the process of art creation that it completely ruins most of what anyone thinks they even have to say in the beginning. I think that the monetization of art
02:34:52
Speaker
And the appeal of monetization to art is an enemy of art in a way as well. If you could create a society in which people can survive in a way where they don't feel the need to monetize their art, the art ends up being true or just by default. Yeah.
02:35:11
Speaker
Can I actually can I read a quote that's about this? No, yeah So wait, I'm also tied together Oh My god No, please read it I'm sorry
02:35:40
Speaker
So it's by Ursula Le Guin, who is probably my favorite writer. She wrote The Dispossessed, which I really love, and a lot of other Wizard Earth Sea books and a bunch of stuff. So she was, during a speech at the National Book Awards,
02:36:00
Speaker
which she gave it in front of a lot of industry executives and people in the publishing industry. But she says, hard times are coming when we'll be wanting the voices of writers who can see alternatives to how we live now, can see through our fear-stricken society and its obsessive technologies to other ways of being, and even imagine real grounds for hope.
02:36:27
Speaker
We'll need writers who can remember freedom, poets, visionaries, realists of a larger reality. Right now, we need writers who know the difference between production of a market commodity and the practice of an art. Books aren't just commodities. The profit motive is often in conflict with the aims of art. We live in capitalism. Its power seems inescapable.
02:36:51
Speaker
But then, so did the divine right of kings. Any human power can be resisted and changed by human beings. Resistance and change often begin in art, very often in our art, the art of words." Ursula Le Guin. Ursula Le Guin. I mean, it's beautiful. A real G. I love her.
02:37:14
Speaker
The culture that we live in, that's all about monetization and I don't know, I just feel like the YouTubers is YouTubers ization of content creation has just diluted the market to a laughable standpoint. I'd like to read a quote. Go for it. Is that OK? Yeah. Yes, you're fine with that. Yeah. But you're not going to like throw a fucking fit if I do. You're not going to be like.
02:37:45
Speaker
Like the way you defended women during the, uh, the watermelon section of the episode. That's not going to be how you'll react to my quote. Will it make no promises on my reaction until I hear the. That's immature of you Fritz. That's just smart. That's immature. Fritz, what are your thoughts?
02:38:10
Speaker
Let's hear it. Make no blanket statement. I am. Well, now, what are your thoughts? It can't be, let's hear it. Oh, I thought you said your quote. Yeah, but what are your thoughts about me saying a quote? He wants your thoughts on this quote before he says it, so you can't say anything to me after. Well, how can I have a thought if I haven't heard it? Yes, clearly. That's what I'm doing. What is it? What? What? It's yet to be turned. You bitch!
02:38:36
Speaker
I will let you know what I find out. It cannot be determined. You have to do it because I'm the one who press a stop on the end of this recording. In the perfect world, I loved it. Alright, friends. In a utopia, it was great. Let's see if you can achieve that. In a utopia, it was great. That's bullshit. You are bullshitting me right now.
02:39:03
Speaker
Do you know that you're bullshitting me? Is it obvious to you that you're being a prick? I think you are trying to reverse psychology this and trying to get out of trouble for saying something possibly controversial. All right, I'll do it. I'll do it. This is the quote.
02:39:35
Speaker
Fairy tales can come true. You gotta make them happen. It all depends on you. Do you know who said that? You, just now. Do you know who else said it? The princess and the frog. It's from the princess and the fucking frog. I actually haven't seen that one.
02:40:04
Speaker
Cringe. Cringe. Did you just fucking call me fucking cringe? I didn't like your quote. I watched that movie on a date. I watched that movie on a date. I think. Did you watch that movie on a date? Who? I've never seen it either. You guys. You didn't watch that movie on a date? Cringe? Bro, I... Cringe?
02:40:32
Speaker
Cringe there hasn't been an ounce of base in this cringe Cringe fastest Cringe on an ounce of been what no. All right. Well, this guy's the frog. He didn't mean frogs are based My utopia frog was a terrorist that frog fought in the Iraq war
02:40:59
Speaker
And I'm calling him a terrorist, which makes me controversial. Are you getting me? I get you. I get what you're going for. I see what you're picking up. I'm going to have to ask you to put it down. No, I will put it down. And I don't want you to drop a grenade on me in any way. Here's my thought.
02:41:19
Speaker
We've had a good night. We've talked about utopia, and while we're no closer to achieving it, I feel like we're further away as friends than we were when we started this, which is where I want to be at the end of podcasts. I want things to be tense. And I've had a fun time on this podcast. I hope you figure out what the election that's supposed to go after this. I hope you're... I'm getting mean. No, I just mean like...
02:41:45
Speaker
We're going to talk on the phone this weekend. Is that the plan? I don't know when, but that's the plan. You might not like it. Well, it's certainly not going to be 30 minutes. That we know.
02:42:00
Speaker
Do not even think of calling me about this next pod until you hear back from Elise and how she picks a watermelon because I want to hear how Incredibly I can tell you right now. She's great at it. I Want her to be good at it is you idiot. That's what you don't get I want you to help my girlfriend be better at it That's what all this is about
02:42:24
Speaker
I don't know how to do it. Ask a woman. I'm asking you to ask your woman so I could tell my woman. This has been poorly educated. We should drop this in that feed and fucking disappear forever.
02:42:48
Speaker
Oh my god, we should. I think we're wanted. I don't remember why, but I'm pretty sure we're freaking wanted. This has been Coffee Before Bed. Ian, I'm excited for our phone call this weekend. Thank you for joining us. Thank you for helping us contribute to a utopia. I love you guys so much. Do you guys feel like we made the earth better? Do you feel like we got closer?
02:43:11
Speaker
I feel like we did. I think we pointed in the right direction for some of it. Us three white men can't talk for three hours and not get nothing done, right? That just sounds unrealistic. I think we can have a duel to settle this. Yeah, I think so. My girlfriend shot me for saying the watermelon stuff. Thank you, guys. We'll be back here two Fridays from now. Appreciate y'all.
02:43:41
Speaker
Boys, good night. So, time to drink some coffee and go to sleep. You've been saving your coffee for the end? Oh, I've been drinking. By the way, are you still recording? Yeah, let's do a bit. I will say that there has been, I will just say there has been, I did, there was one ruse. There was one thing that was,
02:44:08
Speaker
I let out a little bit of deceit in this podcast. I'm not going to say. I'm not going to say what I want to reveal. You have to listen back and then maybe when was he when was he school? I beat his seat. But hold on. Will I be mad at you when I learn of said deceit? Here's what I think. I think you didn't really have coffee and you had a rain energy drink. You're wrong.
02:44:36
Speaker
Fritz, can you confirm that? Is that true? It's water in a coffee mug. And I'm healthier than that. Alright. I'm healthy now. My girlfriend buys me watermelon. I'm healthy now! Stop rubbing it in my face! Stop rubbing it in my face! You bitch! You bitch! You bitch! Your coffee is filling the gap that your watermelon doesn't. Thank you guys. I gotta dump out this piss.
02:45:04
Speaker
Overcome the same. I love you. Bye. I love you. You don't even know me. We're always getting fucked up. Why? Do you really need to know me? The roaches in my bathtubs. I can roll their eyes with your crown.