Transcript
Speaker: Welcome to Prime Space, a Prime Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Scultori. Coaches, today I'd like to start by reading for you the official definition from the ICF, the International Coaching Federations of Coaching, the definition of coaching.
Speaker: You probably know that definition already and you probably heard that definition, but let's refresh our minds here. Here's the definition. Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
Speaker: I like this definition. It's simple, it's concise, it has been there for a long time, and it still holds true. What is interesting and what I would like to highlight for us here today is that first word we have in this definition, partnering.
Speaker: Partnering shows up in coaching everywhere. It shows up in our core competencies, in all of the assessor's tools, markers, and bars, in our course materials when we go for coach training, books, videos, resources, podcasts.
Speaker: Partnering is everywhere in coaching. It is the hallmark of our profession. We learn about partnering since day one in our coach training.
Speaker: When we think of similar industries, consulting, mentoring, psychotherapy, teaching, training, whatever, there is an inherent hierarchy in their process. I know i have the expertise.
Speaker: I have the solution. i have the experience. The client has a problem or needs some healing. in coaching, even though the client may come to the session with an issue to resolve,
Speaker: At the core of the coaching mindset is this premise that the client is capable. The client is whole. The client is resourceful.
Speaker: We coaches see the client primarily through the lens of possibility and capability instead of problem.
Speaker: Our focus is on the potential, not on the problem. That's why we say that in coaching, we coach the person, we don't coach the problem.
Speaker: The other point of partnership is that we don't come to the coaching process as experts in the subject matter. we are experts in the coaching process and in providing the framework for that exploration, we are not there to provide answers or solutions.
Speaker: That's not our role. And that's why partnership is is huge in coaching. That's the unique aspect of coaching. We say coaching is the meeting of equals, where our clients and we meet on equal terms and we de-emphasize any hierarchy.
Speaker: The moment there is hierarchy, it's no longer coaching.
Speaker: However, and may be getting used to my howevers, right? Let's put it however here in this thought process.
Speaker: Is that really true?
Speaker: Is this equal partnership realistic? Let's talk a little bit about this. Because if we if we take a ah a step closer, if we go a little a little closer here,
Speaker: We can't dismiss the fact that there is a power differentiator in coaching. It is undeniable.
Speaker: Let's be real, right? Just by calling ourselves coaches and the other person the client, right there, even if we call the coachee, these labels intrinsically carry a sense of hierarchy. I am the coach.
Speaker: You are the client. What do you need that I can provide? That already brings a hierarchy. We may try to avoid it. We may even naively believe that this is not there.
Speaker: But especially for clients and less experienced coaches, it is very easy, consciously or unconsciously, for us to embrace this dynamic. As a client, I have a problem and I am hiring you to help me.
Speaker: So you must have something I don't. I, as the coach, am the professional. The client is paying me for my time. So I must be someone is special.
Speaker: For someone to pay to spend time with me, I got to be something good.
Speaker: And especially if the focus is on the client's issue, then there is something broken in the client's system that needs to be fixed. And I, the professional, will serve as the facilitator for the repair.
Speaker: Oh, big hierarchy there. Power differentiator. It is very important for us to be mindful that this is happening.
Speaker: And avoiding this concept will most likely impact the process. These roles, these names, these positions, they carry powerful archetypes that are unwise for us to dismiss.
Speaker: However...
Speaker: Is this really true? And here I am playing devil's advocate in my own arguments. Because if we take a step even closer, let's go ah let's go a little deeper here.
Speaker: Something very special may be right there waiting for us.
Speaker: What if we stripped ourselves of these labels? Coach, client, coachee, whatever, professional, executive, leader.
Speaker: What if we let go of our own masks? I have knowledge to give you.
Speaker: I'm experienced. I'm wise. i have the expertise. Look how brilliant I am. i can. You can't. What if we had the courage to notice that in spite of these constructs,
Speaker: what we truly have in the room are just two human beings, two people walking on this planet trying to do their best,
Speaker: What if we embraced the fact that these roles are just skin deep?
Speaker: They may help streamline the journey. They may be necessary for us to understand what's happening. But the real fact at the essence
Speaker: is that I am no different than the person in front of me. I remember many years ago, I started working for a very affluent community back in New Jersey.
Speaker: And I shared with a friend of mine that I was bit intimidated These were powerful people with big labels and big resumes and big houses and cars and bank accounts.
Speaker: And this friend looked at me and said one thing that I will never forget. Elias, they are just people.
Speaker: And when I go to have a conversation with my client, yes. I need to be conscious of the labels that come with the process. I need to be conscious of the apparent circumstances that brought us together.
Speaker: But I also, and primarily, want to be very aware that more than anything, We are just people.
Speaker: We are just human beings. I'm not better, wiser, smarter, anything than my clients and vice versa.
Speaker: We are just two people who agree to come together to spend this time intentionally exploring this particular situation, which just happens to come from the context of the client.
Speaker: As a coach, I'm there to partner with them as an equal in that journey. And if any of these masks, any of these constructs, this these illusions...
Speaker: if any of them start to interfere and become center stage or become the starting point, that's where I'll bring my training together my understanding of the coaching mindset and my skills in coaching to minimize them and to quench them as much as possible.
Speaker: My clients and I are equals partnering in this process. A couple of things for us to keep in mind here.
Speaker: That's why in coaching we try to avoid the word like help. right I'm not there to help anyone. We are there to support, to partner with them.
Speaker: we We avoid the the word guide. i'm I'm not there to guide anyone. my My clients know the way. I'm going to walk this journey with them.
Speaker: And that's why some coaches don't call their clients clients. We call them coachees. And that's an attempt to minimize that this dichotomy and this hierarchy. More recently, a small number of coaches have been calling themselves a thought partner. and That's how I label myself actually on LinkedIn. And you see more and more coaches calling their clients the thinker.
Speaker: And although these labels may not be mature enough, i i kind of like the way it's going. This idea that you know a thought partner and a thinker, it seems much more equal than client and and coach, right?
Speaker: Anyways, how are you, coach? How are you showing up for your clients?
Speaker: How much are you relying or perhaps even emphasizing these labels, how much are are these labels becoming a crutch for you?
Speaker: What is the mindset or perhaps the heart set you are bringing to your coaching? What is the level of humanity, both for you and your client, you are showing up with?
Speaker: Thank you so much for listening and thank you so much for subscribing to our podcast and sharing these episodes with other coaches. If you have any questions or if you would like to share your thoughts with me, please email me at Elias at primecoachingacademy.com. I would love to hear from you and perhaps some topics that you would like me to address in this podcast as well.
Speaker: Otherwise, have a wonderful week and I will see you next time.
