Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Partnership Illusion
66 Plays2 months ago
What does *partnership* really mean in coaching?
In this episode of PRIME SPACE, Elias Scultori, MCC explores one of the most foundational ideas in coaching – the assumption of equal partnership between coach and client.
Using the official ICF definition of coaching as a starting point, this episode challenges a core belief in our profession:
Is coaching truly a meeting of equals?
Elias unpacks:
- Why “partnering” is everywhere in coaching—and why that matters
- The hidden power dynamics created by labels like coach and client
- How hierarchy can subtly enter the room despite our best intentions
- What becomes possible when we strip away roles and meet as human beings
- How language shapes mindset, presence, and ethical practice
This episode is especially relevant for ICF ACC, PCC, and MCC coaches, mentor coaches, and anyone committed to embodying the coaching mindset with depth, humility, and integrity.
Chapters
00:12 – Partnering is everywhere
04:00 – Is equal partnership realistic?
05:24 – Labels, roles, and power dynamics
06:38 – Challenging the partnership assumption
08:12 – Beyond masks: two human beings in conversation
09:52 – Redefining partnership in practice
Subscribe for weekly reflections on coaching mindset, presence, and mastery
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Prime Space Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Prime Space, a Prime Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Scultori.
What is Coaching?
00:00:13
Speaker
Coaches, today I'd like to start by reading for you the official definition from the ICF, the International Coaching Federations of Coaching, the definition of coaching.
00:00:28
Speaker
You probably know that definition already and you probably heard that definition, but let's refresh our minds here. Here's the definition. Coaching is partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximize their personal and professional potential.
Core Aspect: Partnership in Coaching
00:00:52
Speaker
I like this definition. It's simple, it's concise, it has been there for a long time, and it still holds true. What is interesting and what I would like to highlight for us here today is that first word we have in this definition, partnering.
00:01:14
Speaker
Partnering shows up in coaching everywhere. It shows up in our core competencies, in all of the assessor's tools, markers, and bars, in our course materials when we go for coach training, books, videos, resources, podcasts.
00:01:31
Speaker
Partnering is everywhere in coaching. It is the hallmark of our profession.
Coaching vs. Consulting and Mentoring
00:01:41
Speaker
We learn about partnering since day one in our coach training.
00:01:47
Speaker
When we think of similar industries, consulting, mentoring, psychotherapy, teaching, training, whatever, there is an inherent hierarchy in their process. I know i have the expertise.
00:02:03
Speaker
I have the solution. i have the experience. The client has a problem or needs some healing. in coaching, even though the client may come to the session with an issue to resolve,
00:02:18
Speaker
At the core of the coaching mindset is this premise that the client is capable. The client is whole. The client is resourceful.
00:02:30
Speaker
We coaches see the client primarily through the lens of possibility and capability instead of problem.
00:02:42
Speaker
Our focus is on the potential, not on the problem.
Is Equal Partnership Possible in Coaching?
00:02:47
Speaker
That's why we say that in coaching, we coach the person, we don't coach the problem.
00:02:56
Speaker
The other point of partnership is that we don't come to the coaching process as experts in the subject matter. we are experts in the coaching process and in providing the framework for that exploration, we are not there to provide answers or solutions.
00:03:18
Speaker
That's not our role. And that's why partnership is is huge in coaching. That's the unique aspect of coaching. We say coaching is the meeting of equals, where our clients and we meet on equal terms and we de-emphasize any hierarchy.
00:03:44
Speaker
The moment there is hierarchy, it's no longer coaching.
Understanding Power Dynamics in Coaching
00:03:51
Speaker
However, and may be getting used to my howevers, right? Let's put it however here in this thought process.
00:04:03
Speaker
Is that really true?
00:04:06
Speaker
Is this equal partnership realistic? Let's talk a little bit about this. Because if we if we take a ah a step closer, if we go a little a little closer here,
00:04:21
Speaker
We can't dismiss the fact that there is a power differentiator in coaching. It is undeniable.
00:04:32
Speaker
Let's be real, right? Just by calling ourselves coaches and the other person the client, right there, even if we call the coachee, these labels intrinsically carry a sense of hierarchy. I am the coach.
00:04:49
Speaker
You are the client. What do you need that I can provide? That already brings a hierarchy. We may try to avoid it. We may even naively believe that this is not there.
00:05:03
Speaker
But especially for clients and less experienced coaches, it is very easy, consciously or unconsciously, for us to embrace this dynamic. As a client, I have a problem and I am hiring you to help me.
00:05:22
Speaker
So you must have something I don't. I, as the coach, am the professional. The client is paying me for my time. So I must be someone is special.
00:05:37
Speaker
For someone to pay to spend time with me, I got to be something good.
00:05:47
Speaker
And especially if the focus is on the client's issue, then there is something broken in the client's system that needs to be fixed. And I, the professional, will serve as the facilitator for the repair.
00:06:04
Speaker
Oh, big hierarchy there. Power differentiator. It is very important for us to be mindful that this is happening.
00:06:16
Speaker
And avoiding this concept will most likely impact the process. These roles, these names, these positions, they carry powerful archetypes that are unwise for us to dismiss.
Connecting Beyond Roles
00:06:39
Speaker
However...
00:06:42
Speaker
Is this really true? And here I am playing devil's advocate in my own arguments. Because if we take a step even closer, let's go ah let's go a little deeper here.
00:06:56
Speaker
Something very special may be right there waiting for us.
00:07:05
Speaker
What if we stripped ourselves of these labels? Coach, client, coachee, whatever, professional, executive, leader.
00:07:21
Speaker
What if we let go of our own masks? I have knowledge to give you.
00:07:31
Speaker
I'm experienced. I'm wise. i have the expertise. Look how brilliant I am. i can. You can't. What if we had the courage to notice that in spite of these constructs,
00:07:49
Speaker
what we truly have in the room are just two human beings, two people walking on this planet trying to do their best,
00:08:01
Speaker
What if we embraced the fact that these roles are just skin deep?
00:08:12
Speaker
They may help streamline the journey. They may be necessary for us to understand what's happening. But the real fact at the essence
00:08:26
Speaker
is that I am no different than the person in front of me. I remember many years ago, I started working for a very affluent community back in New Jersey.
00:08:40
Speaker
And I shared with a friend of mine that I was bit intimidated These were powerful people with big labels and big resumes and big houses and cars and bank accounts.
00:08:59
Speaker
And this friend looked at me and said one thing that I will never forget. Elias, they are just people.
00:09:12
Speaker
And when I go to have a conversation with my client, yes. I need to be conscious of the labels that come with the process. I need to be conscious of the apparent circumstances that brought us together.
00:09:28
Speaker
But I also, and primarily, want to be very aware that more than anything, We are just people.
00:09:40
Speaker
We are just human beings. I'm not better, wiser, smarter, anything than my clients and vice versa.
Exploring New Coaching Terminology
00:09:52
Speaker
We are just two people who agree to come together to spend this time intentionally exploring this particular situation, which just happens to come from the context of the client.
00:10:05
Speaker
As a coach, I'm there to partner with them as an equal in that journey. And if any of these masks, any of these constructs, this these illusions...
00:10:20
Speaker
if any of them start to interfere and become center stage or become the starting point, that's where I'll bring my training together my understanding of the coaching mindset and my skills in coaching to minimize them and to quench them as much as possible.
00:10:44
Speaker
My clients and I are equals partnering in this process. A couple of things for us to keep in mind here.
00:10:56
Speaker
That's why in coaching we try to avoid the word like help. right I'm not there to help anyone. We are there to support, to partner with them.
00:11:10
Speaker
we We avoid the the word guide. i'm I'm not there to guide anyone. my My clients know the way. I'm going to walk this journey with them.
00:11:22
Speaker
And that's why some coaches don't call their clients clients. We call them coachees. And that's an attempt to minimize that this dichotomy and this hierarchy. More recently, a small number of coaches have been calling themselves a thought partner. and That's how I label myself actually on LinkedIn. And you see more and more coaches calling their clients the thinker.
00:11:48
Speaker
And although these labels may not be mature enough, i i kind of like the way it's going.
Reflecting on Coaching Labels
00:11:55
Speaker
This idea that you know a thought partner and a thinker, it seems much more equal than client and and coach, right?
00:12:04
Speaker
Anyways, how are you, coach? How are you showing up for your clients?
00:12:11
Speaker
How much are you relying or perhaps even emphasizing these labels, how much are are these labels becoming a crutch for you?
00:12:25
Speaker
What is the mindset or perhaps the heart set you are bringing to your coaching?
Conclusion and Contact Information
00:12:34
Speaker
What is the level of humanity, both for you and your client, you are showing up with?
00:12:45
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening and thank you so much for subscribing to our podcast and sharing these episodes with other coaches. If you have any questions or if you would like to share your thoughts with me, please email me at Elias at primecoachingacademy.com. I would love to hear from you and perhaps some topics that you would like me to address in this podcast as well.
00:13:11
Speaker
Otherwise, have a wonderful week and I will see you next time.