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Courageous Humility
59 Plays10 days ago
What does it truly mean to be an “expert” coach?
In this reflective season finale of PRIME SPACE, Elias Scultori, MCC, explores a profound moment from his recent conversation with Ann Fogolin, MCC — a moment that opens the door to one of the deepest paradoxes in coaching: the more we grow, the more aware we become of how much we do not know.
Drawing from the foundational coaching tenets taught at PRIME Coaching Academy, Elias reflects on the idea that coaching is both a humbling and courageous act. In a profession often shaped by expertise, performance, and recognition, what happens when the coach steps out of the spotlight and creates space for the client’s own wisdom, power, and humanity to emerge?
This episode is an invitation to reconsider the role of knowledge, certainty, identity, and ego in the coaching relationship — and to explore the courage required to truly listen, remain curious, and serve without the need to be “the one who knows.”
A thoughtful closing to Season 4, this conversation speaks not only to coaches but to anyone interested in leadership, presence, growth, and authentic human connection.
Chapters
00:11 — A Moment from “The Future of Coaching”
01:09 — What Real Experts Understand
02:06 — The Coaching Tenets
03:21 — Coaching as a Humbling and Courageous Act
05:21 — The Human Need to Be Right
06:29 — The Illusion of Knowing Another’s Experience
07:45 — When the Coach Becomes the Center
08:52 — Humility, Presence, and Empowerment
10:08 — The Courage to Truly Listen
Memorable Quotes
“Coaching is a humbling and courageous act.”
“What do we truly know about what is happening in the heart of this person in front of us?”
“That’s when we begin to truly listen.”
“Humility and courage. That’s at the core of coaching.”
Recommended
Transcript
Welcome to Prime Space Podcast
00:00:02
Speaker
Welcome to Prime Space, a Prime Coaching Academy podcast with your host, Elias Skultori.
Reflecting on Anne Fogelin's Insights
00:00:13
Speaker
Coaches, a few weeks ago I had Fogelin as a guest here Prime Space.
00:00:23
Speaker
And at the beginning of that episode, there was a moment when I was introducing her It was very special.
00:00:35
Speaker
I didn't say much in the moment because we had a huge topic to cover, but I made a mental note of it. The episode's title is The Future of Coaching, and if you haven't yet, I encourage you to listen to it later.
00:00:51
Speaker
Anne has had a brilliant career in coaching, and I was trying to convey some of her accomplishments. And I said that she is an expert in coaching.
00:01:05
Speaker
I use this word expert.
00:01:09
Speaker
When I passed the microphone back to her, she of course thanked me and thanked for being back at Prime Space. And immediately she went on and said,
00:01:22
Speaker
I do not consider myself an expert because I wake up every day being very aware about how much I don't know. And of course, when I rep replied to her, I said, you spoke like a true expert, my friend, the one who knows how much they don't know.
Introducing Coaching Tenets at Prime
00:01:51
Speaker
This was so beautiful. And I'd like to use this last episode of Prime Space Season 4 to expand on this a little bit.
00:02:06
Speaker
On the very first day of our Level 1 coach training program, we share with our students what we call the ah the coaching tenets. These are short statements we believe encapsulate the core of the coaching mindset.
00:02:27
Speaker
What is the proposition of coaching? What is so distinct about this practice? What must a coach embody to be able to properly position themselves in front of their clients?
The Essence of Coaching
00:02:44
Speaker
The Coaching Tenants is an exclusive module of Prime Coaching Academy, and it provides these new coaches with what we believe to be the foundational concepts of coaching.
00:02:57
Speaker
on which all the skills and everything else that we will address later are built from. We believe that once a coach understands and embodies these fundamental ideas, everything else in coaching becomes so much easier.
00:03:20
Speaker
One of these tenets is Coaching is a humbling and courageous act.
00:03:32
Speaker
Coaching is a humbling and courageous act.
00:03:41
Speaker
What do we mean by that?
00:03:45
Speaker
Well, coaching is about our clients. Coaching is about the story, the journey, the development of this other person.
00:04:00
Speaker
They are the ones center stage, not us.
00:04:07
Speaker
And the sooner we realize that in that space, our beliefs, our resourcefulness, our knowledge... our intuition, our experience, our brilliance are virtually irrelevant there, the better we will be able to support them.
Understanding Client Empathy and Limitations
00:04:34
Speaker
You've heard me say this before, perhaps too many times. We live 24-7 in this little space between our ears, and we tend to believe that the whole universe, this vast expanse of human existence and even nature at large,
00:04:56
Speaker
is encapsulated in our very limited perception. We tend to believe that the world is what we perceive it to be. We give so much credit to the thoughts and conclusions our minds create that we see them as definitive.
00:05:21
Speaker
And at the same time, Because on some level, we realize we are so small. In order for us to feel some sense of control, sense of security, a sense of identity, we want, we need our thoughts to be validated by others.
00:05:45
Speaker
We need others to believe what we believe. And as human species, we have even tried to codify some of these beliefs in an attempt to make people do what we want them to do, be who we want them to be.
00:06:06
Speaker
This, that I believe, is universal truth.
00:06:13
Speaker
However,
00:06:16
Speaker
what do we know?
00:06:19
Speaker
What do we truly know about what is happening in the heart of this person in front of us?
00:06:29
Speaker
We may have the ability to empathize, I hope, to give support. We may be able to observe, perhaps even dare to share some of the thoughts that come up for us, ask a question.
00:06:50
Speaker
but we are not living their lives. We're not there having their experience. We want to believe we do. We want to believe we know what they are feeling and what they are supposed to do, what's happening.
Avoiding Problem-Solving Pitfalls
00:07:07
Speaker
But as highly as we may think of ourselves, we actually know nothing.
00:07:18
Speaker
If we stay on the surface trying to solve the problem, yeah, we may be able to help them momentarily. They may feel satisfied. They may even think we are brilliant.
00:07:31
Speaker
Oh, you are such a good coach. You're the best coach.
00:07:37
Speaker
Which makes us feel good, right? But can you see the vicious circle here? In this scenario, who steals the spotlight?
00:07:50
Speaker
Who is truly center stage? What does the process become all about? Who is truly being empowered? Who is losing their power?
00:08:05
Speaker
Clients coming to us because of what we know? Clients coming to us because we are so smart, so intuitive, so brilliant?
00:08:19
Speaker
Let's get a grip.
00:08:22
Speaker
How is that of any help?
Empowering Clients with Humility and Courage
00:08:26
Speaker
From an early age, we are encouraged and rewarded both personally and professionally by our ability to navigate the world, solve problems, and think independently. We build our sense of self based on what we do, what we know, what we have, and how much others recognize who we are.
00:08:52
Speaker
But in coaching... if we truly want to empower the other, if we truly want to be at service to the other, first, it is imperative that we have the awareness to see when we are getting full of ourselves and then the ability to be humble.
00:09:19
Speaker
to put our quote-unquote brilliance aside so that they can claim their space. They can notice their
Curiosity and Humility in Coaching Excellence
00:09:30
Speaker
brilliance. They can acknowledge their own power.
00:09:37
Speaker
Yes, skills and standards are crucial. Getting a certification is a good thing. And I'm pretty sure that you can do that actually fairly easily.
00:09:52
Speaker
But what is the level of courage we need to develop to know, to see, to admit how much we don't know? That's when we begin to truly listen.
00:10:08
Speaker
That's when we become sincerely curious and are able to customize ah simple but powerful question. That's when we begin to have a glimpse of excellence.
Season 4 Closing and Listener Gratitude
00:10:24
Speaker
That is the true path to an MCC.
00:10:32
Speaker
So coach, what do you need to let go of?
00:10:39
Speaker
What is the layer you need to shed? Where is the resistance coming from?
00:10:48
Speaker
What are you so afraid of?
00:10:53
Speaker
Where can you find the ability to fully occupy your own space without the need to step on anyone else's?
00:11:06
Speaker
Humility and courage.
00:11:11
Speaker
That's at the core of coaching.
00:11:19
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening. Today I'm wrapping up season four. Thank you so much for your comments, your emails, your testimonials, your likes. Thank you for your participation. i'll take a short break.
00:11:33
Speaker
But I am already working on season five and i am truly so excited about the guests that will be coming to Prime Space and the topics we will cover.
00:11:44
Speaker
So please subscribe so you know when we start again and please share these episodes with others. It's a true honor for me to be here with you. Thank you for your commitment to coaching, for bringing this mindset to the world.
00:12:01
Speaker
I love you and I'll see you next time.