Transcript
Speaker: Back in the room. Back in the room for season two. um So, let's, what am I was supposed to say now? Oh, yes.
Speaker: Let's go to a place where the distractions, the landmarks and the details are the main roads. Welcome to ADHDville. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I've got my script and that is Jake the dog. If you're watching on YouTube, if you're watching on YouTube, you get a special guest. little treat. A little fuzzy friend.
Speaker: Yeah. Well, hello. My name is Martin West. I was diagnosed with the the ADHD poo-poo platter in 2013 and my pet rock suspects I have autism. um And I am joined, as as always, for season two,
Speaker: Amy. Oh, I'm delighted. I'm Amy Aliazzo, slightly neurodivergent, highly sensitive, fully neurotic, a ton of sensory issues.
Speaker: And my pet rock says this makes me interesting to talk to. Is it true? Who knows? Damn right. Damn right it is. I'm just going to answer that. huh right off the The quirks make us interesting.
Speaker: Yeah. So yeah before we get into our main topping, our main ah pineapple topping, topic is about um but staring and and you and Elizabeth Holmes and all that. Just a little bit of housekeeping.
Speaker: where are we where are we yep i've done this bit yes yes so ah if you watch on youtube you will notice at the end there is a little uh little adhdville town council where people who are who are who are a special part of the adhdville kitchen community. I give them job titles and sometimes I give them a promotion if they've been you know really good ah friends of the pod.
Speaker: So this week ah we get as joint mayors, Amy and my myself, we get to promote Alexandra from Postmaster General to Deputy Mayor.
Speaker: That's like
Speaker: congratulations that's like that's like the highest you can go unless you want to become like mayor mayor co-host right but yeah but but mayors you you have to kind of get on the camera every every every week so congratulations to her She is the most supportive person. She writes these incredible comments on YouTube.
Speaker: And you can tell she like listens to every single thing. She practically replies to like everything we say. She's incredible. Yes. Yeah. Absolutely.
Speaker: Love her. All right. So if you've been anywhere on the Internet this week, ah you will have seen, you you've probably seen i a trailer for um for the new for a documentary that's coming out in October, i think, called You Can See Everything.
Speaker: which is a ah it's the documentary of Elizabeth Holmes and her, um her,
Speaker: I guess, well, she became famous for ah trying to, so well, so getting everyone involved and building a company around the idea that you could ah you could test for diseases and things from like a drop of blood. And she built this whole company, got loads of funding, and then it all turned out to be a load of,
Speaker: nonsense And this documentary kind of um follows the last like 34 days or or so before she gets, ah before she has to report to to ah two two two two ah up to prison back in May. Now, here's here's my question, though. Yeah. Because Nathan Fielder is doing it. And for people who don't know him, he's like a real, well, some people are like, oh, he's a revolutionary. I don't really get him. I think he's kind of a weirdo. And I feel like a lot of the stuff that I've seen is like, is he serious? Is he not serious? So my question is, is this like genuinely a documentary? It's not like a spoof. Okay. It's a real documentary. And he just so happens to be the person directing it or what. Okay. that right I think if someone said to me Nathan Fielder is autistic I would go yeah yep agree um agree but I'm certainly not going to die
Speaker: knows him But there is a the the the clip that is getting a lot of traction at the moment. And and knowll and i'll I'll put um a still or whatever um in the in the yeah in the YouTube ah podcast. it's it's it's It's Elizabeth Holmes.
Speaker: Just doesn't look at Nathan as he's interviewing her like she is like staring at him. Bloring her eyes into his skull.
Speaker: Wide eyes hardly blinking with this kind of like smile and she's like i don't know like six inches from his from his face. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: Just staring at him and it is the weirdest,
Speaker: weirdest interaction. This is why I also thought, is this like a spoof? Because that was so weird that I thought i thought it was like a joke. I thought he got her to like joke around. But then i you see that it's she's really talking him this way.
Speaker: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. So, and ah you know, it it is part of a manipulation thing, which I will go into.
Speaker: um But also i kind of thought it was in in interesting to kind of like go into into the, you know, into why it works sometimes. Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Why people do that, why why why they do that starey thing, um and and why it feels uncomfortable, because because it kind of dovetails quite nicely into you know and into that idea of you know if you are neurodivergent, it is quite...
Speaker: you will hear that that that uh people don't want that you don't want to make eye contact with with people that is kind of quite hard to make eye contact um and you're kind of you spend yeah people are always saying look at me when you talk to me oh really does that really Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That is quite a a prevalent topic of conversation. And some have kind of like they've kind of like managed to kind of like teach themselves how to do it. And whole bunch of people haven't. And, you know, I'm i'm one of those people that kind of find, yeah I can find it difficult to look into people's eyes.
Speaker: but But we'll kind of go into into that. But let's kind of like ah go, let's go back. Let's go back. going to take this all the way back to like, i don't know, early man, like early prehistoric homo sapien back then. Okay. Right.
Speaker: Because have you have you, you probably haven't realized, but what, Our eyes, our our you know the eyes that humans have are unique in the animal kingdom in that you can see the whites of your eyes.
Speaker: and Right. There's a strong contrast and then you your actual sort of ah your ah iris. Because like, you know, if you if you look at your dog's eyes, right? I know. I'm dying to look at his eyes.
Speaker: But you don't tend to see the whites of animals' eyes unless and unless Jake looks like hard left. and then he just did Yes, he just looked one way and you could see it But when he looks straight ahead, yeah, you just you don't see the whites. Right. But with humans, we do. We have a lot of white in our eyes. And the reason for that kind of is that it helps with nonverbal can come communication. So like when you're out and you're hunting, you you you can look at someone, give instructions with your eyes.
Speaker: And you can see it from it from a distance away and you don't have to talk. You you you can literally just just see someone's eyes and that can help you hunt.
Speaker: And then also it helps with social, you know, social communication as well, because, you know we you know, when we talk to each other, we we look at someone's eyes right we we look at their eyes and then then then their mouth you know but but you know and we even have that saying right know that the eyes are the other windows to the soul yeah um because because eye contact is communication without words so why would
Speaker: Well, you know, that's so that's why evolution has made our eyes important. I mean, are you do you mean because because you can see the whites of our eyes, you can tell if we're sort of like, it's easier to tell if we're looking one way or the other. So it's like easier to pick up cues. Is that what you're saying? Or as opposed to like an animal where like no matter where they look, I guess, you just see...
Speaker: like the the i don't even know what it's called the colored part all right yeah like so the are you the whites enable more expression is basically what you're saying like okay i got it so so i can see so you you know like if you've got something in your teeth or you think you have you can tell because of where someone is looking at you right and you kind of go and you feel so self-conscious suddenly you go oh have i got something in my teeth or have i yeah something on me because we're looking at their eyes, they're looking at us and we're doing this communication right thing.
Speaker: Right. So, you know, and our eyes are like, our rid there's a lot of communication going. So know when we look at each other, we're going, are you interested in me? Are you angry? Are you challenging me? um are you Are you about to speak?
Speaker: yeah Did I do something wrong? There was all this stuff. but Nonverbal. Right. Right. And actually, there was some in interesting um experiments where where they were trying to find out, well, they kind of basically proved that that your short-term experience memory, your your working memory, yeah that that that that little bit of your brain that you have for remembering a phone number just long enough for you to like put it in your phone, that little part of your of your brain, the the bit that you kind of use when we're having these conversations, if you look at someone's into someone's eyes di directly at them, it interrupts
Speaker: that So um they did an experiment where they had a bunch of people. They had to they had to rim remember something and then they gave um different groups different faces or k nott off or other things to to look at. So some group had faces to look at.
Speaker: Some had faces that were looking at them. Some had faces that were looking away from them. So they were having to remember this little piece of information by, and then giving, know, looking at at faces and the, and the group that had the faces looking directly at them, they did worse in the short term memory recall.
Speaker: So it kind of like- Because why? They felt like ah uncomfortable or self-conscious? Well, because we're, yes, because we're suddenly thinking, oh, what's that person's right expression? We're looking at their eyes and we're trying to work out what it is. And then yeah that just kind of overrides whatever it is that we're supposed to be thinking about. is quite It's it interrupts our thinking and that's, so it sort of steals some of your memory I think this is where the the the the Elizabeth Holmes thing comes in.
Speaker: Because this because for for one thing, um when you're in those conversations and someone's like really close and they're staring at you. It's crazy. Your brain just cannot think of anything else. Yeah, right.
Speaker: Except this person who's like uncomfortably close to my face. Right. Yeah. and what happens is, is if you get this unblinking close range con kind kind contact, we are in a defensive state, almost, which means our our critical thinking shuts off and our working...
Speaker: memory goes and actually our brain would much rather just comply with whatever it is that they're saying right because your brain has kind of like just slowed right down because it's dealing with this yeah um and no and then and there's another part to it which which is people think that liars you know when you a conversation with someone you're trying to find out whether they're telling the truth or not that they think that if you look if someone looks away then they're lying right um when actually i believe all that do you believe that well actually it's not necessarily
Speaker: true Oh, okay, good. Because it just seems a little, it's like a little, just let people live. i don't know. Sometimes you'll look away. I don't know. It's like, what it's too much.
Speaker: But maybe these people are right. These are supposedly experts. So it's like, who knows? Right. yeah so you've So you feel this pressure and discomfort and you just want to concede your your brain's just like, fine, I will just do whatever.
Speaker: you know And that's why, that's what Katie Holmes was trying to do. Katie Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes. Elizabeth Holmes. Sorry. Who's Katie Holmes? She's from Dawson's Creek.
Speaker: LAUGHTER
Speaker: wow She's from Dawson's Creek. But, you know, i think that um I saw like an expert saying like, why is this expression so creepy? And it was, you know, it was one of these experts like that we're talking about. And she was saying because the eyes do not match the mouth.
Speaker: So basically like her eyes are like like sort of like wide so you can see like so much of the whites of her eyes, which I guess is a like um is a signal of this expert was saying it could be fear or like she knows that she's lying, but then she's smiling.
Speaker: And it's like it doesn't match. so it's And I think she's saying this is why it is so creepy. And if anyone hasn't seen it, see it, and you will think it's really freaking creepy.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. It is. so The way that she, when she's like, why would I deceive you? It's it's so weird. it's It's like a horror movie.
Speaker: Right. But I think the the interesting thing for me is, um that
Speaker: if you are neurodivergent, know, maybe a autistic especially, you know, like that feeling of, that is similar to the to to the the feeling. So someone could just be not doing that crazy Elizabeth Holmes thing, but she could just be just in a normal conversation and,
Speaker: and even on over zoom and looking at someone's eyes and feeling uncomfortable and then just wanting to look away having that same feeling of discomfort so it's you know so you know so i think if anyone feels it's it's a they it's good to look at these of elizabeth holmes thing and kind of go oh yeah that that's what it feels like or that's what it must feel like if if someone feels uncomfortable looking at you like like okay it's a bit like like like that because honestly um
Speaker: The thing with if you are, and I don't know whether whether you sort of ah agree on this or or whether this ah applies to yo or or not, but I'm not only, know, when I'm talking to someone, I'm not just thinking about what they're saying and then thinking about what my reply is going to be.
Speaker: I am thinking, right, you know, am i am I looking at them too much? Am I staring at their eyes? Am I am i not looking at at them enough? Should I look away now? Should I look look look look back? Am I looking at their eyes or or or their mouth?
Speaker: You know, there's a lot of information ah extra information coming in yeah that your brain is having to process. um So actually, it it becomes easier to concentrate on someone if you look away.
Speaker: you look off to the side, sort of like a blank wall or something. And then, I mean, this I do this a lot, right? This is like a very important thing you're saying, I think.
Speaker: I think so. Well, I think many people don't really understand why some people don't make eye contact. And what you're saying right now is very valuable. Because like i I'm fine with eye contact, but you're basically saying...
Speaker: I'm not, i it's, you're basically saying it's easier for me if I look away and concentrate on something and I'm not getting all of these other like sensory messages. Right. So I think that we should like highlight that. Like that's the big thing you're saying.
Speaker: Right. Cause it could look like that you're dis disinterested or being rude or you're not engaged, but actually, you know, you know, like,
Speaker: So, know, but ah it ah help helps. um me so ah So, for example, quite commonly I've been sitting in my office, I'm having a conversation with someone over the desk and then they're talking and I'm looking off to the side.
Speaker: h And then at some point they'll kind of like think, what's what's he looking at? and i And they'll kind of turn around and look at where I'm looking, right? And they'll just look around to see what i'm I'm looking at. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no. I'm i'm not looking at anything. i'm I'm just focusing on what you're saying. And I'm just trying to ah reduce...
Speaker: the all the data that's coming at me like your eyes and your face and your mouth and everything to do with you I'm just trying to listen to the words oh my god I feel like you just explained something so well that i would say neurotypical people don't understand and and by the way i think it's a little rude for someone to say look at me because like now you're gonna look at them like how uncomfortable is that that's even more uncomfortable Oh, God, yeah.
Speaker: yeah has Has that ever happened to you? ah Kind of, yes. And what you do? It's so rude. I mean, so a similar version of this is i if I'm in a meeting, i will sometimes have my notebook out and I will doodle in it, right? i'll just be doodling.
Speaker: Yep. And what the doodling does is that um It stops my brain from overthinking because part of my brain is just iss just is is ah not getting dis distracted because it's just doing a random doodle, which allows the other part of my brain to focus on what someone is saying.
Speaker: this is so Yeah, that makes sense. um And and i I find that's a fairly common thing sometimes is that people who doodle while someone's talking, they're doing it so that they can focus more on what you're saying. And, you know, and I've had a boss turn around and go, Martin, will you stop drawing in your notepad?
Speaker: and And at the time I went, okay, fine. And then I closed the notepad. um But then what? Well, now yeah I'm not concentrating on whatever it is that they're saying. No, because now you're like, hey, like this was actually helping me. But like, what are you going to say that? Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: In a um meeting front of us. Yes. You can either have me doodle and concentrate or not doodle and not listen to a word that you're saying. Right. Pick a line.
Speaker: Right. this is This has been, I was just going to say, this has been very eye-opening. Get it? Come on. I what there.
Speaker: This is like a big thing. I never knew any of this. and um And I think I will now think differently if I'm in that situation where I feel like you know someone isn't looking.
Speaker: I'll understand. Yeah. That was very helpful. Yeah. That was very helpful. um Speaking of creepy. Yes. I have to tell you my new thing I'm obsessed with this week. Okay. Obsessed, obsessed, obsessed. hu um So I live in a duplex. So I live on the ground floor and we have neighbors who live above us. These new neighbors moved in and they said, you know, we have a ring camera. Do you, if you want, we'll give you access to it. I've never had a ring camera before.
Speaker: I was like, okay, I'm obsessed with it. Not only am I obsessed with it, I'm obsessed with watching myself on it. Wait, wait, what? Yeah. There's something about like watching, like, first all, oh, and you can hear people, which I guess is the point. Because because you're supposed to like... um I guess like, yeah have you seen these like videos on TikTok where someone's about to break in and the owner's not at home, but they get a notification and then the owner can like talk through the microphone. And um I don't know, just seeing like, what do I look like when I'm walking my dog? By the way, not good.
Speaker: It's very unflattering seeing yourself from the back and like going down the steps. Coming home, I look better. Okay. It's just been like, I don't know. it's been And then like um someone rang the doorbell the other day and we I wasn't expecting anyone. And so I looked at the camera and it was like a delivery, like a food delivery for upstairs.
Speaker: I don't know. It's incredible. wow And I'm obsessed with watching myself. And I think just as usual, the old TikTok knows, I guess, because I've been talking about it a lot. Yeah.
Speaker: and um And I saw this thing, I don't know if you've seen it, it's very recent, this Amazon driver and the cake pop. Oh, the cake pop, yes.
Speaker: So for those who don't know, I'll just give a quick summary. I don't know where it is now. I mean, a new thing is happening like this, like every moment it's new. But basically, you know, some people leave things on the porch for delivery drivers, especially in the summer when it's hot, snacks, water, whatever.
Speaker: There was a delivery, an Amazon delivery driver um leaving a package on a porch that had like treats. And it said, ah help yourself. And then like a tiny sign in the corner said, pay here. But he didn't see that. He just saw the help yourself. And I'm sure he wasn't like paying a lot of attention. He was busy. And he took a cake pop and he left. Well, the family who lived in this house used their Ring camera to call him out and say he stole from us. and And this delivery driver responded and was like, I'm so sorry. I thought they were free. yeah His wife Venmoed them money. And um everyone was on his side because the people didn't let it go. and now the latest I know is this delivery driver is now doing food reviews for porch bakeries because porch bakeries are like a thing now. Wow.
Speaker: Porch bakeries. Porch bakeries. And the this particular porch bakery, not good. Like, I think they're they closed their bakery. I don't know if they're moving. Like, people are really up in arms. And and i'm I agree. I think it was unnecessary to be, like, that rude.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean, yeah i mean ah yeah you have to pick, if you own a business of some kind, even if you don't, but you really have to pick your battles as to if you're going to go after someone because because it could really backfire. Like, if the if the internet decides that you're the bad guy.
Speaker: oh forget you're ruined. Then you're done. You're done. And the thing is is they, the guy paid. The cake pop was $4. The guy's wife paid $5. And how petty is this? The business owner said it was only $4. And Venmoed the wife back the dollar.
Speaker: Like, it's so petty. Not worth it. That's not a good look, is it? Not all. No, and I think this whole, like... culture of like shaming people who work in these kinds of jobs needs to stop because I feel like it's It's gotten... Like, do you remember the actor from the Cosby show who was working at Trader Joe's? Do you remember this thing? I remember the Cosby shit show, yeah. Oh, my God. So the Cosby... Well, we have different opinions about Bill Cosby now, but back in the day, before we knew anything, it was...
Speaker: a big show and the actor who played he was an actor on the show. He played like the son in law, whatever. Right. A couple of years ago, he was working at Trader Joe's and someone snapped a picture of him working, which I thought was like so rude and was like, what happened to him?
Speaker: and was like shaming him. Because now he works at Trader Joe's and the public, the Internet came to his defense like they did with the Amazon driver. And they were like, hey, this guy's got to work. Like, why are you shaming him? He got a couple of acting jobs out of it because everyone was on his side. So it's like I just feel like don't you realize that the Internet.
Speaker: is going to be like the judge and jury and they're going to say, if you really make fun of someone, they're going to say you're wrong and you're going to end up being like ruined. Yeah, yeah. You know?
Speaker: so i just... There is also and an argument that would say, yeah, no, please do your awful thing so that we can all see it, so so that so so that so that we can we can know who you are.
Speaker: right And of where do you? Right. It's insane. Right. Okay. What's next on our on our schedule agenda of things? yet Get the music ready.
Speaker: All right. Because next is our segment, Am I Being Unreasonable? I Being Unreasonable? Am I Being Unreasonable?
Speaker: Oh, my God. Do you want me to read this? Okay, I'll read this one. Ready? Yeah. Someone named Alex wrote in and said, i don't like it when my significant other watches pornography.
Speaker: Am I being unreasonable? Right. You have the floor, Martin. Oh, God, do have the floor? All right. All right. I'm going to call it corn.
Speaker: Korn. Okay, we'll call it Korn. Korn.
Speaker: All right. So, all right. So i've I've had a little bit of a think about about about this. Okay. Where I landed was, well, firstly, you're not wrong for wanting him to to to stop. It's just a question of what you can reasonably ask of each other. so so Wait a minute. Hold on. You don't think it's wrong?
Speaker: For wanting, you think it's okay to want the person to not watch. So for me, right, it's about, you can have your point of view, which could don't want corn be part of our relationship. Yeah.
Speaker: i don't like i don't want corn to be a part of of our relationship um Because, you know, and then you would have to ask yourself, well, why, know, is it because it's affecting your, your, your bed life? um You know, is it, you know, is he lying about it? Is it, you know, like, is it, is it conflicting with your, with your value? Yes. He or she, is it connecting with your, with your values? So once you kind of know why?
Speaker: then it is fine for you to set a boundary if you want and kind of say, you know, I don't want corn to be part of our relationship.
Speaker: But it's also, you know, like he or the or the other person is also allowed to consider, you know, watching corn.
Speaker: um You know, so it is fine for him to have that approach for having that opinion. You know, so really, like, it's it's really about, um you know, it isn't really will you stop watching corn? It's really about can we talk about what corn means to both of us?
Speaker: We can both have a point of view about it and we might kind of come to some and yeah understanding and ah what is acceptable and what isn't.
Speaker: or you might kind of well, actually we are in conflict here and we do not see eye-to eye to eye about this. And so that's another issue problem that would have to be looked at.
Speaker: looked at Right. um I completely disagree. Awesome. I think, I know this is like our first thing we disagree on. We agree on pretty much everything else. why This is exciting.
Speaker: I say, if your significant other wants to watch, let them watch. Good for them. i think when two people are cohabitating,
Speaker: Like I would never want to feel like I can't do something in my own home. So I'm like, if you want to go do that, go do it. i I do agree that like, let's talk about it. But to me, I'm just like, unless it becomes a problem, and I guess the couple will be able to tell if it's a problem, if it's getting in the way somehow.
Speaker: To me, I'm like, yeah, like, I date a man, you know, everyone, there are straight couples, there are gay couples. I date a man. And so ah I'm like, if you used to watch, if you used to watch before and you still want to watch, great. If not, great. I don't care either way.
Speaker: and i want you to just be able to feel comfortable. Right. So, so to me, I wouldn't, I don't, I don't, it doesn't really matter to me.
Speaker: Right. We are both agreeing
Speaker: Are we agreeing? Yes. So, okay. Agreed. So all I'm, all I'm saying is, you know, is that in this scenario that, that, that you've just said, right. So, yeah um, you have, uh,
Speaker: You have an opinion about corn. Someone else has opinion about corn. you've both in You've both come together and you've said, you know what? I don't mind. As long as it doesn't affect our relationship, then I'm okay with it.
Speaker: Okay. Yeah. And then other person's gone, oh, that's great because I like to watch corn and, and I'll, you know, and I will make sure that it doesn't affect our, our, our relationship. So you've come to an and understanding that is, that is fine for you.
Speaker: Right. And then that's fine. And then you're, you're, you're good. You're good to go. So what is your final verdict? Do you think Alex is being unreasonable by not wanting their significant other to watch porn?
Speaker: Yes, but only because they're setting a rule. It sounds like they're setting a rule. Right. And really, it isn't about setting a rule. it's about setting a boundary, and that boundary might be...
Speaker: um I don't want any of it or I'm or i'm fine with it as long as it doesn't affect our relationship. But whatever that boundary is hu If you can both like agree, then you thef you're fine. But if it sounds like a rule, because it sounds like a rule. It sounds like they're saying, Chris, no, stop it. You are not going to watch that ever again.
Speaker: That's it I think that's where the problems lie is is where you where you put... It's too harsh. Yes. So I guess we do agree because I also think Alex is being unreasonable. So Alex...
Speaker: Maybe this will open your eyes again, the second time we've talked about opening eyes, or maybe it won't. Yeah. We don't know. But, hey, this is our this is these are our opinions.
Speaker: Exactly. Yeah. So we both are agree. Unreasonable. There we go. There we go. it got it got It got a little tense there for a minute. it ah is this We almost had our first disagreement. Yeah, I know. And it turns out, ah, no. All right. We agree.
Speaker: And hey, if we don't agree, that's fine too. Exactly. Yeah. Exactly. You know what? i've I've just dropped my script for the for the post bag. Do you want me to sing the theme song while you pick it up? Okay, ready? It's time for the mail.
Speaker: Post bag. Was that good? That was awesome. I love that. Oh, there we go. Yes, yes, yes. Here we are. Found it. Okay.
Speaker: I'll do it again. Post bag.
Speaker: Close. Close. Right. So last week we we we talked about um why is why is your first kiss burnt into your memory?
Speaker: Burnt. Burnt. right in there I know. we Yeah, we had quite ah quite quite a lot of stuff on tick TikTok, which, you know what, I i i failed to um copy and paste.
Speaker: um But but ali but ali a Alexandra writes... some oh Wait, hold on. yeah Deputy Mayor Alexandra. Deputy Mayor Alexandra. Absolutely. thank Thank you for pulling me up on You're welcome. You're welcome. um ah She said, um great, great episode, um great episode topic, first off, which, you know, which I think this is like...
Speaker: there's so for so So season two, i think, is is we're just going to do different stuff and we're going to do more ah more stuff that Paul and I didn't get into.
Speaker: um More interesting stuff, more more more different stuff, more sort of socially sort of yeah um socially so ah ah ah relevant stuff like the like the the Elizabeth Holmes thing. So, you know, we're just going be a little bit more interesting so good start there that that's all you that was your that was your idea i think it was a really good one who hasn't had a first kiss you know i know yeah i know um and she she writes this this this little tale of of woe because she felt that her her first kiss was stolen yeah i know stolen yeah
Speaker: um Yes, she said, ah i so I don't want to remember remember my first kiss. So, of course, i i I honor that by putting it on the podcast. Yeah. So she has to let relive it again.
Speaker: I'm sorry. Okay, let's okay that's okay because i'm learning a lot of people don't want to remember their first kiss this is what this topic like friends have told me like oh i didn't like mine either so right so alexandra you're you're you're not alone unfortunately right so um yeah and uh she told i think i think this is correct she she she told me the the the other day that So she had an embarrassing um ah first kiss where she's just minding her own business, right?
Speaker: I think ah she was at the back of a bus and she was just like, tro you know, and the and the guy was sitting next to her. and I think she was like 13, 14, somewhere around there.
Speaker: And then the boy who was sitting next her, when she turned around, she he he kissed her just unexpectedly.
Speaker: Wait, I have to plug my computer in. I'm sorry. All right. real This is real life. Right. Well, while you're doing yeah email that, I'll just keep on. Keep on. And I was talking about it the yeah the other day with her. and I think i think this's this is the same guy.
Speaker: she He lives in the same town as her. Still? like She works at a store and he comes into the store. Then she has to like see him once in a while.
Speaker: You know what, though? It sounds like she had other good first kisses. So I'm very happy for her because that sucks. Like that shouldn't be. And he sounds like he was older. he sounds like a little creepy. So i'm I'm glad that she was able to write that and and have some other great first kisses that if you go to YouTube, you'll see that she wrote about.
Speaker: Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah. She's full of good, good, good stories. Yeah. And why is this guy coming into the store, by the way? i'm very curious. but What does he say? Like, ah ah I'm curious. but she's she's She says that she just blanks him. Good. Good for you. Good for her.
Speaker: Doesn't acknowledge him at all. Yeah. Yeah. Good for her. Yeah. Good for her. She came through. She came through. she had a couple of other great ones.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. So, um yeah. So this week's, yeah. So this week's topic has been the being stared at. Why is it so unbearable?
Speaker: and and the whole And the whole trailer for, you know, with Elizabeth Holmes. So, yeah, if you've got an opinion on that, Get in the comments.
Speaker: Get in there. And by the way yes anyone else who deals with, um I think, not being able to maintain eye contact, um I would love to know what they thought about your explanation. Because to me, that was like the way you explained it, I think will be very helpful to people.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah Yeah. That's me complimenting you. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Welcome. Yeah. How do you deal with how how do you deal with eye eye contact? can you Can you do it for long?
Speaker: How long until it becomes uncomfortable? comfortable o I got to tell you, in this trailer, they stare at each other without speaking. For maybe 20 seconds. It is so freaking uncomfortable. it's amazing.
Speaker: Right. Yeah. And the reason why we think it's weird is because she's not staring directly at us. She's looking at Nathan, right?
Speaker: so it's So we don't have the same intensity that he's getting. He's getting the full blast, right? The full blast of it. and And we're just over to one side and it's still crazy. oh it's awful.
Speaker: And his reply, I've seen people go, oh, he he looks like he's he's he's turned on. by this. Really? People are thinking, and I'm thinking,
Speaker: no I didn't get that at all. Sometimes the internet gets it wrong. They get it right with the cake pop. i think they might be getting it wrong here. I don't know. Well, yeah, no, it's just some people, everyone else is going, what? No. this Yeah. this is so So his return to that is to look her directly in the eye.
Speaker: And he's just kind of going, for me, he's kind of going, ah you are you serious? I also think he's trying to be like, yeah, I'm going to look right back at you. But he's like so uncomfortable with it.
Speaker: Yeah. That's what I got from it. Like, yeah, i'm going to stare you down. But then ah he's like, oh, my God, this is like. And he's like, are you, is this the real you? And he's like, this he's he he he doesn't buy any of it. It's so bizarre.
Speaker: Oh, that's fantastic. Yeah. That's fantastically and uncomfortable. Yep. All right. So we're next week, next week. What are we talking about?
Speaker: I forgot. oh do Oh, wait, are we going to do that? We're going to say what we're talking about? You know what? No, we're going to keep it a surprise. Let's keep it a surprise. Yeah, let's do that. Okay. It's going to be a surprise.
Speaker: All right, so that just leaves me to say ADHDville is a refresh every Tuesday to all providers of fine podcasts. Please subscribe yeah subscribe to the pod and us.
Speaker: Not creepy and weird. in the slightest and feel free to correspond at will in the comments but wait there's more if you wish to see our beautiful beautiful faces then you can sally forth to the youtubes and the tiktoks um and uh if you wish to get in touch with us uh yeah reach out at um adhdwill at gmail.com but in the meantime fudging kind to yourself Oh, let me give my Instagram. Yes.
Speaker: At Amy Aliazzo. That's my TikTok too. And I'll spell it. A-M-Y-A-L-I-A-Z like zebra. Z like zebra. O like Oscar.
Speaker: And we're all doing the best we fudging can. And that's enough. That's enough. I will put the links to your Instagram in the show notes. Fabulous. And I'll also put it in the link tree on TikTok bio.
Speaker: Love it, love it. I'll just show it. Oh, look. and weve The timing. The the timing. Love.
