Transcript
Speaker: We all have a story, and at times we feel we're walking it out alone. Let's pause and think. Join us for honest conversations about adoption and parenting as we lament, encourage, give hope, and explore our true identity and worth in Christ.
Speaker: welcome to another episode of Pause and Think. We are Jackie and Aisha in Guatemala City today, and we're so glad that you are here.
Speaker: Today I'll play interviewer. Jackie always tells me the most wonderful things testimonies and anecdotes and you know it just gets me fired up for what we see the Lord doing amongst adult adoptees. I learned so much it fills me with hope um that there is so much room for healing and learning and still so many layers and so many things that the Lord is doing and still so many things that we have to wait until heaven.
Speaker: um And so today i will just catch up with Jackie and you'll be listening as we do. So Jackie, it's always so refreshing to hear you and you and you just beaming with a sort of maternal pride when you talk about the girls and Because it's mostly girls. We've had guys come and go, but the state like the the staple for the staples for the the group are girls. So tell me how how things are coming along. and
Speaker: It's a Spanish support group, by the way. We are connected throughout Latin America, literally from north to south. And so fill us in a little bit on the history of the group and then what's encouraging for you right now.
Speaker: Well, hello, Aisha. I'm sitting here in my house and you are at your house in in Guatemala. And so we just love modern technology, right? That we can come together and talk like this. But yeah, I'm so excited about our group.
Speaker: I know this was a passion and a dream that you had and you shared it with me one day. um something that you had been dreaming about, a support group for adult adoptees.
Speaker: And I have such a heart for anybody who's walking through their adoption process, no matter what their age. But we really focused in on people who were 18 and older who wanted to just process through their adoption and just have a support group just to bring support and love and walk together. So you had asked me to join you. And I remember the very first time that we did that was during 2020.
Speaker: And yeah, September of 2020, that was when, you know, the whole world was shut down and we had to do it over Zoom anyway.
Speaker: So it worked out really good, but we have continued because like you said, we have girls, we have had some guys, but mainly girls um that connect over the internet from North to to South America. And it's been such a blessing. and I think, wow, one of the most exciting things for me that I have experienced in me becoming vulnerable them and sharing my story is it has encouraged them now to become vulnerable.
Speaker: and have a safe space to share without feeling judged, without feeling like they're hurting anybody's feelings by really expressing what is in their heart or what they've been ah feeling or even thinking. And so i am so excited to hear and see the healing process and how they are thriving now. And even today you know, 2026, uh,
Speaker: I'll say a conference that's going to be in which is like CAFO, but in Latin America, it's going to be in the Dominican Republic this year. And four of the girls of this group are going to be on the stage sharing their stories. And that is such a huge step.
Speaker: And I'm so proud of them. um I'm so thankful to the Lord. That he's been doing such a deep work in their hearts and their minds that they're able to um just be able to share publicly now and give hope and and help bring healing to others.
Speaker: who It's been quite a journey. I think if you go back, if you're listening to this recording, you can go back and take a listen at Monica's testimony, which is Amazing. Like the the whole like arch, I think, of her becoming a biblical counselor and the fact that she thought that every piece was in place and then something drew her into this conversation, this group. And I remember the first few meetings, she was just watching. She was just silent and very serious. And then
Speaker: she started realizing, why is this bothering me so much? There's something that needs attention here. And she was very brave. She's been, and I'm only telling you what she's told in public like many times. And now it's been a blessing. and I believe that like hers, their stories are going to,
Speaker: bless and bring about a liberty of freedom that many adoptees still are yet to experience. And so she wrote a book and then she's, you know, standing her wings and telling her story. And it is in such a beautiful, careful, humble way.
Speaker: And I think the the the group paid a huge role in what in what we're seeing in her life. um How has it helped you understand or process your own story? Because it's not like you showed up and it's finished, and I know you're aware of that, but how has it helped you or stirred in you a new understanding maybe of your own history?
Speaker: That's a great question because I know how much God has brought healing to my life. But just like you said, none of us have ever arrived.
Speaker: There's always something that God wants to do in our lives, something new. He always wants to renew our minds. He wants to bring healing and just make us more like him.
Speaker: And so in that process, hearing these girls share, And listening to them open up their hearts takes me back too and helps me to understand that, you know what, there's still stuff in me that I need to work on. And it it confronts me. it's It's consistently confronting me with things that I can identify with as they're sharing.
Speaker: And not just identify with from the past, but just even struggles we've talked about. There's still things we struggle about still today, that things that come up in life, whether it's an issue, a relationship issue, and just to understand that maybe...
Speaker: from feeling that rejection and abandonment, I am hypersensitive in that area. Or as we've talked so much about attachment disorder and, or our love languages, there's so many areas that we've discussed throughout our times that were together each month, that it always reminds me that there's more and more that I can improve on.
Speaker: And I want to improve. I don't want to keep walking in those familiar um familiar areas, patterns that are dysfunctional.
Speaker: They're very dysfunctional. And we all know that. And it's not something we're proud of, but, you know, recognizing yeah recognizing our issues is step number one. That's what they talk about in Alcoholics Anonymous, you know, by just admitting that, you know, I struggle in this area too. And it's just even a safe place for me who to be able to say, you know, guys,
Speaker: I'm in my 60s now, and I know God's brought healing to me, but there's still issues that I am facing as I'm listening to you. And I admit, I still struggle in those areas, and I recognize it faster. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. shows me that I, I need the Lord's help every day. So it is such a help to me. And I feel like listening to them, ah really ministers to me. it encourages me, but it reminds me of how much I need the Lord. And you talking about Monica, um,
Speaker: And like we said, everything we're sharing is something she's already shared publicly. But she did um connect to us when she heard the group. and But she left the group for a period of time because it really bothered her.
Speaker: And then like you said, she was like, why is this bothering me so much? But it's because it was confronting her. in those painful areas. And many times we put up that defensive wall when somebody is getting too close to figuring us out, exposing what God wants to really bring change or restoration in our lives. And that's not comfortable.
Speaker: That's not comfortable at all. Yes. I think that's a, that's a great point. And I'm thinking, um that healing and grief so often go together. I don't i don't know if they're inseparable, but I'm almost willing to bet that they are.
Speaker: because you see and understand certain things in a different light. When you have clarity about what really went on or what you lost or what really happened, I know in my own life in different areas, when you actually see things for what they are and you allow yourself to name it,
Speaker: you have to go through a period of grief about what this is this is actually terrible. This is actually a loss. This is actually not the way it's supposed to be.
Speaker: And I think in avoiding that very painful, uncomfortable spot, both adoptive parents and kids just wanna skip through it.
Speaker: And you cannot go through a healing if you don't want to go through that. Like you have to see things for what they are, name them, actually listen to other experiences and talk about it.
Speaker: And it isn't scientifically proven that the exercise of meeting up and not regurgitating, I don't know how do you say it. Regurgitating. Yes, that word, exactly. my my English is my second language, so there's certain words I miss. But it's not about, it's not about,
Speaker: going back for the sake of going back and patting ourselves, you know, each other and like, oh, poor me. And I have a a victim label at all. It's about helping your nervous system reorganize and make sense of your story.
Speaker: And that happens through a lot of language and that's And it's biblically bearing one another's burdens. So the way we speak about it and the way we understand it in a frame where the gospel is centered, in a frame where sovereignty, the Lord's goodness and sovereignty is overlooking your story, can bring about healing.
Speaker: But you have to be willing to be uncomfortable with those feelings that will stir up. even if you have to like pause it. And this is why we don't, you know, push people. And and when I say I remember Monica in those first meetings, it's because when we started off and well, I was introducing you to the people because they came through sort of my influence and then I backed away and then it's your only you guys. And so it's been a while. And then David has been invited back and whatnot. David McCormick. um
Speaker: But then, you know, it's all an exclusive space, which has been, ah i think, a key element to you guys being 100% comfortable. And so, yes um you know, walking through healing means walking through grief. And I think you guys have been there for each other. And it's just a very organic and very slow moving And I like that. and That's I think the best stuff happens slow.
Speaker: Yes, it takes time. Relationships take time. And like you were saying, I believe healing and grief are all in the same sentence. Because unless we walk through that grief, like you said, and confront it, okay that healing is not going to come.
Speaker: And we have to, just like, you know, surgery, who wants to go through surgery? Surgery represents pain. It represents a healing process. You don't have surgery one day and healed the next day.
Speaker: There's a long healing process where the skin has to reattach, take the stitches out. It's a process. And the same thing emotionally. And many times as I'm listening to these girls,
Speaker: a big concept is we don't want to hurt our adoptive parents' feelings. We don't want it to sound like we're ungrateful or all we're doing is focusing on the negative. We're not, that is not our heart at all. We are grateful, but there's things that we've hidden so deep in our heart and in our mind that we've never expressed that because we feel guilty about it or we feel shameful about it. And so that was your heart to create the safe space. And I'm so thankful. I'm so thankful how the Lord worked and he planted that seed in you and you shared that with me. And you know me, I'm not <unk> thrilled about speaking publicly, but I like the small group feel and it made me so nervous at first.
Speaker: But I've grown to love these girls, um despite the, you know, Spanish being my second language. And I'm feeling insecure about, oh, my goodness, am I going to be able to share in Spanish? And, you know, coming from different areas of Central and South America, they have different accents. And, you know, when we get emotional, we can't understand each other anyway because we're kind of crying. Um, but, but God's helped me and it's been such a privilege, um, walking with these ah adults. We're not talking small kids or even teenagers. We're talking moms. We're talking women who have been serving God. So it's not like they've, they've even just came to know the Lord. And, and we have, we have girls who, um in all different stages of their process we have some that still turn their cameras off because they don't want to be seen and that's okay yeah that's okay because we're all we're all in different areas and stages yeah and we that's one thing we have to understand that you know the healing process there's no cookie cut way
Speaker: And we have to be ah just willing to meet the person where they're at and walk with them. Walk with them in that process. So if you need to turn your camera off and just listen to us.
Speaker: That's fine. Because there's somebody, there's a girl who listened for ah a long time but came to the conference last August.
Speaker: Amazing. Now she hooks up and puts her camera on. And so it's just yeah built that secure space where they don't feel judged. They feel like they can share.
Speaker: And she has said, i'm not worried i' I'm not where some of you are at. And she feels bad, but we're like, it's okay. It's okay because we're all at different stages. Mm-hmm. And that's what I love. And yes, I appreciate when you and David McCormick come in because they so respect both of you as leaders and your heart. It's your heart to hear them and to understand
Speaker: even though you might not be you know ah an adoptive child or a foster child, but your heart for vulnerable kids, no matter where they're at in the world, is what gives them such respect. And they understand that you are very compassionate. and have that compassion for, for kids, even though we're all adults like us, you want to understand. And so we just really appreciate how you guys have had that vision and to 26. Now here, we're going on seven years a man super excited about this August and having these girls share on, on the stage.
Speaker: Definitely, definitely. we're We're excited for what the Lord keeps on doing. If you need support, look for it. If you're an English speaker, come to CAFO Summit in September.
Speaker: um look for it to be not and you know time stamped go to kfo summit you'll find out whether we're in 2026 or 2030 the lord isn't yet back for us um you will find a space for you there's always somebody to talk to And if you speak Spanish, you're watching this in the because we have a space for you.
Speaker: In ACHLATAM, in Instagram, this the most easy. e and manammo a link So look for your people. The Lord is looking out for you. And the fact that he wants to heal you, he's provided everything for you to walk in freedom. So you don't have to do it alone. That's a lie from the pit of hell. And you're not alone and you're not an accident. And we rejoice in every single step you take, even if it's a little...
Speaker: you know, little, little step. It doesn't matter. The Lord is always so patient and kind in providing the people that you need for this journey.
Speaker: And so we are so thankful that you're here. If this was helpful, share it. And we are... here to serve you all podcast platforms and YouTube and our website, whosami.org.
Speaker: You can tell us your story, share your story. If you want anonymously, that would be fantastic. We are here to lend an ear and we hope you join us next time. So thank you so much. And nice to always chat with you, Jackie.
Speaker: See you next time. And thank you, Aisha.
Speaker: Thanks for joining us for this episode of Pause and Think. For more resources and information, go whosami.org.
