Transcript
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Speaker: Yeah, Cody's laughing, so it's good.
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Let's play pretend!
Speaker: Hello everybody and welcome back to Let's Play Pretend!
Speaker: I am Jordan Derringer, I am your GM, DM, keeper, handler, and host.
Speaker: And I have with me Mr. Nick Barnett.
Speaker: Sup, bro, it's Jason here.
Speaker: I just want to stay alive and get out of this cabin.
Speaker: Nothing more, nothing less.
Speaker: Let's go.
Speaker: I make no promises.
Speaker: I also have with me Mr. Breck Black.
Speaker: Hello, and I have a fun fact for everybody today.
Speaker: Did you know that because your mouth and your butthole are connected by one long, you know, crazy tube that makes humans crazy straws?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm out.
Speaker: I didn't do it.
Speaker: It wasn't a good fact.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: I don't think I can record tonight now.
Speaker: Sorry, guys.
Speaker: I just I got to keep going with this intro.
Speaker: I also with me, Mr. Matt check.
Speaker: What up, bro?
Speaker: Kevin's job boy.
Speaker: And I like I also got a fucking fact, man.
Speaker: I I drank 110 beers in a 24 hour period.
Speaker: Must have been really shitty beer if you're still alive after that.
Speaker: And last but certainly not least, Mrs. Melanie Derringer.
Speaker: I'm playing Courtney and I don't have a fun fact, but I have a story that our child experienced the equivalent of an adult dropping a phone on their face.
Speaker: Oh, my God.
Speaker: OK, I was not there for that.
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: He dropped his car on his face.
Speaker: He started crying and I felt bad, but like.
Speaker: me and maybe you should go to sleep.
Speaker: Was it a Lightning McQueen?
Speaker: No, it was a new car that he got.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: It's some little plastic thing, but all of a sudden he was just starting to cry.
Speaker: I was like, what happens?
Speaker: I dropped my car on my face.
Speaker: And I had to
Speaker: you know, be a mom and be nice about it.
Speaker: But in reality, I was laughing.
Speaker: I found a character sheet.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: I'm playing Courtney and I seriously don't remember what her voice was, so we'll figure it out together.
Speaker: I know it wasn't that.
Speaker: I mean, it was kind of similar to that.
Speaker: So, yeah, so our kid basically learned the fuck around and find out thing.
Speaker: Yeah, pretty much.
Speaker: That being said, I also have a fun fact for the day, and it kind of goes with Breck's fun fact.
Speaker: Did you know that when you say the word poop, your mouth makes the same motion that your butt makes when actually pooping?
Speaker: I hate you.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm not recording tonight.
Speaker: Did you know the same also goes for explosive diarrhea?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm done.
Speaker: I'll see you guys tomorrow.
Speaker: You can just kill my character.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: This is what happens when we play in the real world and not pretend.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So anyway, who wants a recap?
Speaker: Yes, please.
Speaker: Yo.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: This recap is going to be short and sweet.
Speaker: Basically, all you guys woke up after a night of drinking at the new place and decided to fuck around with the table and shit got weird.
Speaker: Some of you took some damage.
Speaker: Your character sheets should reflect that.
Speaker: Basically, what happened was you guys tried to leave.
Speaker: You were not able to leave.
Speaker: And the table spelled out the word die.
Speaker: And that's where we're at now.
Speaker: You guys are locked in the house.
Speaker: The table is kind of freaking out.
Speaker: You guys had said that you were going to try to get out.
Speaker: So what time of day is it right now?
Speaker: Is it like early afternoon or just late morning?
Speaker: It's, yeah, right around noon, I would say, because you guys got up.
Speaker: You know, I would assume you weren't up too early after all the drinking you guys did last night, so... Yeah, bro.
Speaker: My thought was you guys probably got up around 10, 10.30 and then started fucking around with the table, so I'd say it's right around noon.
Speaker: All right, and we got all the windows and stuff opened up again, right?
Speaker: So all the sunlight and whatnot's coming in?
Speaker: No, you guys closed it up to fuck around with the table.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: No, Courtney had reopened it to stop the whatever was going on.
Speaker: Yeah, that's what I thought.
Speaker: Oh, okay, I forgot about that.
Speaker: Then, yeah, I guess you got one of the windows open.
Speaker: At least to get sunlight in.
Speaker: Kevin's gonna run into the kitchen and get himself a 12-pack of brews.
Speaker: Shit is stressful.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I mean, I'm not going to make you roll anything for that.
Speaker: If you want to leave the room to go get beer, leave the room to go get beer, I guess.
Speaker: Kevin does.
Speaker: Is the beer in the fridge?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: Roll me a strength check.
Speaker: Oh, fuck.
Speaker: A strength check to open the refrigerator.
Speaker: 41 out of 40.
Speaker: Oh, my gosh.
Speaker: 41 out of 85.
Speaker: Out of 85.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It feels like there's a little bit of resistance, but you are able to get the fridge open.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: I'm going to grab, like, you know, like those environmentally horrible, like, 12 packs of beer.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm going to grab one of the rings and just take it all out with me and bring it with me on our little excursion, bro.
Speaker: Okay, what excursion?
Speaker: Excursion to get the fuck out of the house.
Speaker: These are road beers, bro.
Speaker: Okay, all right.
Speaker: You do remember that the last thing the table said was to die, right?
Speaker: Yeah, it's super stressful.
Speaker: I'm going to walk up to Dash and just kind of grab like...
Speaker: one of the towels that was being used to clean up the kitchen and whatnot in the morning.
Speaker: Look, man, I don't want to die.
Speaker: I don't want to be fighting with you right now.
Speaker: I'm sorry that I lost my temper and I like threw that doorknob at you.
Speaker: But here, here, just clean yourself up and we got to try and get out of here.
Speaker: We can't get that door open.
Speaker: Let's we got to figure something out.
Speaker: Dash just stares you in the face while slowly putting the rag up to his nose.
Speaker: Would it help if I let you hit me?
Speaker: Would that help you?
Speaker: As much as I would love to take you up on that, I feel like that would be counterproductive to what we need to do, which is not die contrary to what the table wants.
Speaker: What sports did you play?
Speaker: Hockey.
Speaker: Hockey.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you're used to getting busted up a little bit.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh yeah, for sure.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Did your dentures fall out?
Speaker: He does not have dentures, just a few fake teeth.
Speaker: So far.
Speaker: Funny enough, Melanie and Matt know about that.
Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about, honestly.
Speaker: Hockey players having fake teeth?
Speaker: Oh, yeah, my cousin doesn't have two front teeth.
Speaker: From playing hockey.
Speaker: Oh, nice.
Speaker: In case that wasn't obvious.
Speaker: No, I think he's just an idiot.
Speaker: Well, I mean that too.
Speaker: I mean, he plays hockey, so he claims it's from hockey.
Speaker: That's also true.
Speaker: So if I remember right, it's been a while since we played this one.
Speaker: Like, didn't the glass get thrown or something?
Speaker: We tried.
Speaker: We couldn't move the glass.
Speaker: Yeah, the glass could not be lifted off the table.
Speaker: I think the most we got was like half an inch, and then it went back down.
Speaker: Because the last episode ended with the glass moving on its own, spelling out the word die.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You like keep harping on that, bro?
Speaker: It's like arching the mellow.
Speaker: Everybody make me an alertness check.
Speaker: Uh-oh.
Speaker: Alert check?
Speaker: Alertness.
Speaker: I'm like so fucking alert, bro.
Speaker: 77 on a 50.
Speaker: 45 on a 50.
Speaker: Why am I dice stuck in my dice tower?
Speaker: 96. 96.
Speaker: That would be why.
Speaker: Oh, let me just show you guys what just the fuck happened.
Speaker: Just so you know what the picture that she's about to show us.
Speaker: This is brand new dice.
Speaker: Yeah, now they're cursed.
Speaker: Was this your first time rolling them?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oof.
Speaker: They need to be cleansed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, they do.
Speaker: I have had a history of taking out dice from a garbage, cleaning it in the water, bathing it in the light, and I gave it back to my friend, and he rolled two crits in a row.
Speaker: So I'm kind of a cleric.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Where did you put this picture?
Speaker: Oh, there it is.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: Good.
Speaker: So, all right.
Speaker: You crit failed.
Speaker: Somebody else crit failed.
Speaker: For the listeners, I rolled a 100.
Speaker: Hooray!
Speaker: My 77's not as bad as that.
Speaker: It was my 96.
Speaker: It's still a crit.
Speaker: Okay, so here's the fun thing.
Speaker: You guys don't notice as you're standing around the table discussing what to do that... Hey, wait a minute.
Speaker: Wait a minute.
Speaker: I passed.
Speaker: 45 out of 50.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: For some reason, I thought you failed as well.
Speaker: You hear the disappointment in his fucking voice.
Speaker: I'm very disappointed.
Speaker: He assumed we were all inept.
Speaker: No, just most of us.
Speaker: Okay, so here's what's going to happen.
Speaker: Dash is the only one to notice and steps back just in time as the wide ceiling fan above you guys falls.
Speaker: Oh no.
Speaker: Are we about to die?
Speaker: Are we all dead?
Speaker: You might be.
Speaker: That was a good 15 minutes of recording.
Speaker: Well, let's say this.
Speaker: Dash, you step back out of the way.
Speaker: Kevin, you notice in time to move, but not in time to get fully out of the way.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: And you take five damage.
Speaker: Jason and Courtney, since you both crit failed, you guys don't notice anything in take 11.
Speaker: I'm at negative one.
Speaker: I rolled a six and a five.
Speaker: Please, I want you to like paint me this picture vividly of how I die from a ceiling fan falling on me.
Speaker: How many did we get hit for?
Speaker: 11.
Speaker: Cool.
Speaker: I'm dead.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm dead.
Speaker: So here's what's going to happen.
Speaker: Because we are so early in this recording and I don't want to kill you off quite so early.
Speaker: I am going to roll a d4.
Speaker: Two.
Speaker: You each have two hit points left.
Speaker: That's what I'll be nice enough to give you.
Speaker: It was actually me.
Speaker: I was opening up some Keith Stone.
Speaker: I forgot you called it Keith Stone.
Speaker: I'm coming.
Speaker: Pays the man respect, because Keith is a hard-working businessman that makes us delicious alcohol.
Speaker: Okay, since you just about killed us, I would like you to paint a picture, please.
Speaker: Agreed.
Speaker: So the ceiling fan falls and it's one of those you guys are at like a like a lake house has a pretty open floor floor plan.
Speaker: So it's not like just your regular ceiling fan.
Speaker: It's the ones with like the extra long blades to kind of get the whole room going.
Speaker: And it's going like normal and just falls.
Speaker: And as it's falling, you see Dash get out of the way and not say anything.
Speaker: You see Kevin.
Speaker: It's out of dash.
Speaker: kind of notice that dash is getting out of the way and hits the ground, the ceiling fan comes straight down onto your ankle.
Speaker: So it's going to cause you to limp a little bit there.
Speaker: But as it's coming down, it was spinning fast enough.
Speaker: that the blades clipped Courtney in the shoulder leaves a gash big enough that she is going to need stitches like hard.
Speaker: No, you know what?
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Since I killed you guys, it's spinning fast enough.
Speaker: Courtney, your left arm is gone.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: You have lost your left arm.
Speaker: That is the price that you pay for me not killing you right now.
Speaker: Oh, oh, oh.
Speaker: And Jason, it's, you are on like basically the outside ring of it, but it hits you about five times as it's falling just across your chest and stomach, just and you have deep gashes in your chest and stomach from it.
Speaker: As the blades hit Dash and Courtney, you guys see blood just splatter the walls.
Speaker: and you see the table erupt into splinters and just blows up around you.
Speaker: Fuck, I don't think the table is lying.
Speaker: Dash just turns to the side and just violently throws up.
Speaker: Before you say what Courtney's gonna do... Courtney's screaming.
Speaker: Okay, that's fine.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: The two of you, Courtney and Jason, roll me Constitution Throws.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What am I rolling for that?
Speaker: You just roll your constitution.
Speaker: This is to make sure that you stay conscious.
Speaker: Conscious.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Thank you.
Speaker: Is that so the 100?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: 56 on a 50.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Courtney's out.
Speaker: She's out.
Speaker: She's gone.
Speaker: It's an 85 out of 65.
Speaker: She's out.
Speaker: She's out.
Speaker: Yep, so Jason and Courtney both lose consciousness, and Dash and Kevin, you guys can see they are both losing a lot of blood.
Speaker: Kevin, how much did you lose half your hit points?
Speaker: I'm at 10 out of a max of 16.
Speaker: Okay, so no, you don't need to roll a throw.
Speaker: Hey, same here.
Speaker: 10 out of 16.
Speaker: Swole bros.
Speaker: So you guys see, yeah, Courtney and Jason are on the ground.
Speaker: They both lost consciousness and they will die if something isn't done to at least slow the bleeding.
Speaker: I want to try to take them out of the wreckage and apply first aid.
Speaker: Please don't.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do you have first aid?
Speaker: Bro, I got 40% first aid.
Speaker: Dash, after wiping his face off, will do the same to Courtney.
Speaker: Yeah, bro.
Speaker: You know how many, like, painful things happen out in the football field?
Speaker: She gets nuts.
Speaker: 33 out of 40.
Speaker: Wow!
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You crit succeeded, so you are able to wake him up, and... I got a 40 on a 40.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Jason, you are conscious and gained two hit points.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Courtney, Dash was able to stop the bleeding, but since he didn't crit succeed, you don't gain any hit points off it.
Speaker: Yay!
Speaker: Have a brew, guys.
Speaker: You seem like you've had better days.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: What happened?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Dash as a tourniquet is going to take wiring from the ceiling fan that fell and use it to bind off Courtney's arm.
Speaker: Is she still unconscious?
Speaker: No, you're awake now.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: You just didn't gain any hit points.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Is there a window, Nera?
Speaker: Yeah, there's plenty of windows.
Speaker: Is there a chair, Nera?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm sure you could find one.
Speaker: I'm gonna try to have the chair and a window have a meeting of the minds.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: I'm gonna throw the chair at the window.
Speaker: Roll me a 50-50.
Speaker: I halfway could have believed he would try to get them to have a conversation.
Speaker: That's what I was expecting. 26.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah, you are.
Speaker: Roll me a D8.
Speaker: That's one of the things I had out.
Speaker: Four.
Speaker: Four.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The chair hits the window.
Speaker: The window cracks, but it does not break.
Speaker: Yo, we gotta go.
Speaker: Kevin's gonna have to start running towards the window.
Speaker: Roll me another 50-50.
Speaker: Is that a 90 or a 60?
Speaker: A 20 or 62.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: As you are running towards the window, the window shatters.
Speaker: Aha!
Speaker: In to, like, in to the house.
Speaker: Oh!
Speaker: Next, I want you to roll me a d6.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Yeah, you're not going to like this.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Do I have to tell you the number I rolled?
Speaker: Is it a 6?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Alright, well, that's 3d4 then.
Speaker: Oh!
Speaker: Oh!
Speaker: Maybe the window is not a good idea.
Speaker: How many hit points do you have left?
Speaker: Ten!
Speaker: That was a good sound effect.
Speaker: Okay, roll me a constitution throw because I just rolled a nine.
Speaker: 45 out of 75.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you're able to stay conscious as the window explodes inward and shards of glass just start piercing all over your body.
Speaker: It's good that you stayed conscious because then I was going to make you roll another 50 50 to see if you hit your stomach or your back.
Speaker: And if you hit your front, you would have been dead.
Speaker: Oh, fine.
Speaker: You really are excited for the new Saw movie.
Speaker: As Kevin gets hit by all the glass, as it stops, he picks up one of the beers that I'm sure was eviscerated from the glass attack and starts shotgunning it.
Speaker: You would be on death's door and then shotgun beer as Kevin.
Speaker: Not as Matt as Kevin.
Speaker: How close am I to the cooler on the floor?
Speaker: That's up to you.
Speaker: Kevin got all his beer out of the fridge, so that...
Speaker: I don't know where the cooler was.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Jason's not an entire idiot bag.
Speaker: No, you know what?
Speaker: Roll me a 50-50.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: 25.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The cooler was unharmed.
Speaker: I was going to say, if you rolled over a 50, the cooler was under the table.
Speaker: I want to reach in and I want to like, I see that he like got me.
Speaker: kind of like bandaged up and whatnot.
Speaker: I want to reach in and see if we still have any Everclear or high alcohol vodka.
Speaker: I mean, you guys got enough for the whole weekend and it only been one night.
Speaker: So then I pour it.
Speaker: I want to try and take some of that and I want to try and pour it on the wounds to try and make sure that it's disinfected because I don't think he's very sanitary.
Speaker: You don't think that or Kevin?
Speaker: You don't think Kevin's very sanitary.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Let me rephrase.
Speaker: I know that Kevin is not very sanitary.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Let me try and say, bro, I use wet wipes every day.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You're not going to like what I'm going to say.
Speaker: Roll me another 50-50.
Speaker: That's fine.
Speaker: This is going to hurt.
Speaker: It hurts.
Speaker: An eight.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me a d4.
Speaker: Four.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You're only going to take one hit point of damage from the sting.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It hurts.
Speaker: Dash, seeing the cooler as Jason goes into it, goes over and grabs a bottle of vodka and takes a large gulp himself and then shoves it in Courtney's mouth.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That's medicine.
Speaker: I guess Courtney's taking a drink.
Speaker: She's in a bit of shock, so sure.
Speaker: Yeah, I mean...
Speaker: You just lost your arms.
Speaker: So she's... No, she's gonna tourniquet on, so she's not gushing.
Speaker: She's kind of like the little, like, spurts.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He staunched the bleeding pretty well.
Speaker: So as she's taking this forced drink, her eyes are just, like, locked on her arm on the ground.
Speaker: After she drinks a month, he's gonna start dragging her towards the kitchen and then go back for Jason once he gets her there.
Speaker: Does she still have the bottle or do you have the bottle?
Speaker: he would leave you the bottle.
Speaker: She's kind of just holding it to her chest and taking drinks.
Speaker: Taking sips.
Speaker: You're cuddling a bottle of vodka.
Speaker: I'm boring vodka on my lacerations.
Speaker: Kevin's picking glass out of his asshole.
Speaker: No, he'd be more picking glass out of his dick.
Speaker: No, we already talked about this.
Speaker: He's a crazy straw.
Speaker: It went all the way through.
Speaker: Wow!
Speaker: Call back.
Speaker: Can we go through the window now?
Speaker: I mean, you can try.
Speaker: Considering the last one.
Speaker: I was going to say, you only have like two hit points.
Speaker: So he only has one hit.
Speaker: Oh, and considering the glass exploded.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Take the rug and put it over the window so you don't get lacerated and you climb out.
Speaker: Let me ask you this.
Speaker: Did you go to sleep with your shoes on?
Speaker: Oh, yeah, bro.
Speaker: I always wear my Nikes.
Speaker: I hate you so much.
Speaker: You almost deserve that window to the face.
Speaker: Almost.
Speaker: You said, Dash, that you were going back out for Jason or Kevin?
Speaker: Jason.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Nick, are you going to fight Dash bringing you into the kitchen?
Speaker: No, not at all.
Speaker: I would help in any way I could.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So the three of you are in the kitchen.
Speaker: Kevin, are you committed to leaving the house?
Speaker: Well, I'm going to let the group know.
Speaker: Yo, I'm fucking... I'm saying this as I'm bleeding profusely as well.
Speaker: I got the window open, guys.
Speaker: Let's fucking go already.
Speaker: Yeah, you got the window open.
Speaker: Yeah, I did, God.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Kevin, considering it exploded in your face, I assume going outside will be worse.
Speaker: No, God agreed.
Speaker: I opened the window.
Speaker: Kevin, I need you to come over here so we can stop the bleeding.
Speaker: Everything's numb.
Speaker: Yeah, I kind of figured since you weren't screaming, I need you to carefully walk over here or I'm going to come over there and fuck, I don't know, something.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: I'm starting to realize the window, like, might not be the best idea.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yes, yes, we know you.
Speaker: You have good ideas, but maybe not this one.
Speaker: Just come here.
Speaker: Away from the exploding glass, please.
Speaker: I need more beer.
Speaker: I don't have a beer, but I have some nice vodka for you.
Speaker: I guess I'll check stupid shit.
Speaker: I'm Kevin walks to the kitchen.
Speaker: Dash is going to sit him down and try to bandage and pick out glass as best as he can.
Speaker: Keeping an eye on basically everything around him to see if anything explodes.
Speaker: Dash, roll me first aid.
Speaker: I has that.
Speaker: This is a very important role.
Speaker: I'm just going to throw that out there.
Speaker: This is a very important role.
Speaker: No pressure.
Speaker: You said the words as I threw the dice.
Speaker: That is a 100 on a 40.
Speaker: Oh,
Speaker: Oh, actually, this is just a narrative picture.
Speaker: Hi, Kevin.
Speaker: It was nice knowing you.
Speaker: No, it wasn't.
Speaker: I feel like you cursed my dice as I was rolling them.
Speaker: OK, so here's the deal I'll make.
Speaker: I let Dash or no, not Dash.
Speaker: I let Jason and Courtney avoid death once.
Speaker: So I will let Dash and Kevin avoid death once.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, trust me.
Speaker: Your turn's still coming, my dude.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, yeah, I don't mean right this second, but I mean when you die, I will let you avoid it one time.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As Dash is picking glass out of Kevin, there is one caught in his neck.
Speaker: And you very, very carefully pull that piece of glass out.
Speaker: Almost, almost nicking the jugular.
Speaker: But you don't.
Speaker: So the glass is picked out of Kevin.
Speaker: Kevin, you still have one hit point.
Speaker: That was your freebie.
Speaker: Don't expect another one.
Speaker: Oh, I thought I had to roll.
Speaker: So I got my dinosaurs ready.
Speaker: I'm being nice because, again, I don't want to kill you guys.
Speaker: Oh, you're going to kill me, though.
Speaker: That would have been hilarious.
Speaker: Yeah, you're so nice.
Speaker: You're like the kid with the magnifying glass.
Speaker: I only burnt one of the ants' feelers.
Speaker: I want to spare them.
Speaker: Make the pain last for days.
Speaker: I'm just going to burn the other feeler now, then a back leg, and then maybe I'll kill it.
Speaker: Stop crying.
Speaker: It's only gonna get worse.
Speaker: So I need to know while you guys are in the kitchen.
Speaker: This is like kind of like a kitchen dining room area.
Speaker: I need to know where everybody's sitting.
Speaker: So I will explain the room here.
Speaker: You have the kitchen area that has, you know, big countertop, double sink, a double fridge, like the two doors on top with the freezer on the bottom.
Speaker: It also has an island, and on the other side of the island is the dining room table with six chairs.
Speaker: Kevin's sitting on the island, brah.
Speaker: Dash would have put Courtney and Jason up against the island facing the dining room table.
Speaker: So in the kitchen facing the table.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Away from the fridge and stove and all of that.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: And where are you, Dash?
Speaker: Dash is kind of standing in front of them just trying to figure anything out because all he knows is that a table said die and people started almost dying.
Speaker: That is the extent of his knowledge.
Speaker: And he is an idiot.
Speaker: Does anybody smoke gas?
Speaker: Swear to God.
Speaker: Do not give him ideas.
Speaker: Oh, trust me, I already have plenty of ideas.
Speaker: I'm not going to let you go out in a blaze of glory.
Speaker: No, I want to kill you one by one.
Speaker: Can we go home now?
Speaker: You married this thing.
Speaker: You know that, right?
Speaker: Can I go home now?
Speaker: This is an audio medium, so you can't see me evilly grinning at my computer.
Speaker: You can lock him in the basement, Melanie.
Speaker: I can, actually.
Speaker: There's a lock on the outside of the door, so I could lock him downstairs.
Speaker: Yeah, but it's not a key one.
Speaker: It's one that you just need a flathead screwdriver to unlock.
Speaker: And hey, guess what?
Speaker: I have a flathead down here.
Speaker: You know, also the doors open together.
Speaker: So all I have to do is open the garage door and you'll be stuck.
Speaker: Try me.
Speaker: You'll be stuck.
Speaker: Try me.
Speaker: I'd like to see you try to go through a cocked, closed egress window.
Speaker: That'd be funny.
Speaker: No, I will just go through the hollow door.
Speaker: We'll make you lock it.
Speaker: through melanie i'm not saying i'm gonna gently open the door i'm saying i will go through the hollow door uh-huh here's johnny of all things to replace in the house a hollow door is not one of the expensive ones thank you nick for saying that i'm glad i wasn't the only one thinking yet absolutely not
Speaker: Okay, so if I'm facing towards the table, does that mean I'm also facing towards where the living area is?
Speaker: So can I see that the window is open now?
Speaker: Yes, yes you can.
Speaker: I am out of here.
Speaker: I'm out, I'm out, I'm out.
Speaker: And I'm going to be like kind of hobbling and holding my chest.
Speaker: And I am just going to try and beeline for that window.
Speaker: Oh, Dash is very much stopping him before he can even stand up.
Speaker: See, Jason's got the right idea.
Speaker: The window is the way to go.
Speaker: Courtney, you know, with her one arm, has the bottle and points the door at the window and goes, I don't think that's a good idea.
Speaker: Courtney's in shock.
Speaker: Neither stay here.
Speaker: I don't care.
Speaker: And I'm just going to kind of like shrug you off, Dash, and I am just going to go towards that window.
Speaker: I'm not without a contested power or contested strength.
Speaker: You guys aren't shrugging off shit.
Speaker: I leave.
Speaker: Does he get a negative for being basically dead?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: If it was Courtney with her one arm, I would say yes.
Speaker: But he has, I would say he has like fight or flight strength right now.
Speaker: So I'm going to say no.
Speaker: I did bump my sanity down to one.
Speaker: I don't give a fuck about sanity in this mini arc.
Speaker: You guys aren't going to live long enough for sanity to actually matter.
Speaker: Go ahead, Breck.
Speaker: Go ahead and let me know what you rolled for this back and forth.
Speaker: You will be sitting down because that is a 77 on an 85.
Speaker: Yeah, I rolled a 99.
Speaker: So, Brett, go ahead and take charge of the scene.
Speaker: Tell me what you do to Jason here.
Speaker: As Jason starts to get up saying all this, Dash just reaches out and places his hand on his chest over one of the lacerations.
Speaker: Doesn't even push, just places it there.
Speaker: You went full Sean Connery there for a second.
Speaker: Lacerations.
Speaker: He just places his hand on a laceration.
Speaker: I English very well.
Speaker: I like it.
Speaker: I like it a lot.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So I go down hard.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, you do.
Speaker: How many points do you have left?
Speaker: Three?
Speaker: Don't worry about it.
Speaker: We'll get there when we get there.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We're all going to die.
Speaker: What did you say, Mom?
Speaker: We're all going to die.
Speaker: Yeah, you are.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, you're not gonna die.
Speaker: I'm not gonna die.
Speaker: I'm too pretty to die.
Speaker: And the rest of you are too dumb to die.
Speaker: So just sit there and I'm gonna ask a question that sounds dumb, but I need everyone to answer honestly.
Speaker: What do we know about ghosts?
Speaker: Or possibly evil tables?
Speaker: I'm unsure which.
Speaker: Get cut off my arm.
Speaker: We're gonna die.
Speaker: That's what I know.
Speaker: All in all is that this Casper is like not a friendly ghost.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So I have negative Nancy and Casper.
Speaker: Jason, anything to add, please?
Speaker: Please, God.
Speaker: God, how close is that doorknob that I wanged at his face earlier?
Speaker: Uh, that's why you guys were in the living room.
Speaker: You guys are in the kitchen now, so, uh, not close.
Speaker: Did it hit him hard?
Speaker: Did it bounce this way?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I'm not even gonna let you roll for that.
Speaker: Do I have anything within throwing distance?
Speaker: Because I want to throw something at Dash.
Speaker: You want to throw something at Dash?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Um... Why?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: You are... Stop me from leaving.
Speaker: I'm still pissed.
Speaker: You are on your ass in the kitchen.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: I mean, there are drawers around you.
Speaker: You'll be able to find, like, I don't know, like, towels and, like, hand towels or... I will grab a towel and throw a bloody towel at him.
Speaker: Please throw a towel at him.
Speaker: I'm going to throw a bloody towel at him because it's the closest thing to me.
Speaker: All right, Dash, I want you to roll me a d6.
Speaker: Why am I rolling a D6?
Speaker: Because I asked you to.
Speaker: That's what worries me.
Speaker: That is a four.
Speaker: That's a four.
Speaker: That's how many points of you don't give a fuck you have on him throwing the towel at you.
Speaker: It's a bloody towel.
Speaker: He said he's too pretty.
Speaker: There's no way that's not going to affect him.
Speaker: Yeah, Dash doesn't give a fuck.
Speaker: He just watched a theory and you almost die.
Speaker: He doesn't give a fuck about a bloody towel right now.
Speaker: And more than that, you already broke his nose and he has blood all over his face.
Speaker: He's already upset at his appearance.
Speaker: His hair is unkempt.
Speaker: You really think we're safer in here than out there?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Do you?
Speaker: Well, I know we're not safe in here.
Speaker: I don't have a guarantee about out there.
Speaker: I'd rather go to the maybe rather than the no.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So let's say we do go for the window.
Speaker: How do you plan on dealing with the other exploding windows?
Speaker: Who the fuck is we?
Speaker: I was going.
Speaker: You do what you want to do.
Speaker: I'm out.
Speaker: And I'm going to try and get up and leave again.
Speaker: Um, Courtney grabs his arm.
Speaker: With what hand?
Speaker: With her only arm, her right arm.
Speaker: The one that's currently holding the bottle of vodka?
Speaker: She dropped it.
Speaker: She set it down.
Speaker: Roll me a 50-50.
Speaker: She just went to go grab his arm.
Speaker: Roll me a 50-50.
Speaker: I love this so much.
Speaker: Mind you, as she's trying to do this, she's just staring at the broken window.
Speaker: That's a 15.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As you drop the bottle of vodka, miraculously, it does not shatter.
Speaker: She just grabs him by the wrist and pulls him back down slowly.
Speaker: Are you going to let that happen, Jason?
Speaker: I don't think I can really fight it.
Speaker: I can't really move.
Speaker: It hurts.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: While they're holding Jason down, I'm like, perfect opportunity, window for life.
Speaker: And Kevin's going to try to jump through the window.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Hang on.
Speaker: Hang on.
Speaker: Click out.
Speaker: Kevin is making a mad dash for the window.
Speaker: Jason and Courtney are kind of tied up in, you know, Courtney being the one armed bandit, knocking Jason back down.
Speaker: It wasn't knocking.
Speaker: I just grabbed his wrist and pulled him back down.
Speaker: That's all I did.
Speaker: Fair.
Speaker: Dash, I will let you roll me a alertness check to see if you even notice that Kevin's moving or if you're too wrapped up in what the other two are doing.
Speaker: I was just about to say, I'm going to elect to autofail that because Dash is so focused on Jason and Courtney that he doesn't even really register anything else.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Bye, Kevin.
Speaker: Kevin, you make a mad dash to the window that nobody has covered.
Speaker: I'm fucking getting out of here, bro.
Speaker: Dash is going to turn around when he hears Kevin yell and just kind of stare horrified, like watching a train wreck.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I'm going to say, Kevin, explain to me how you want to get through the window.
Speaker: How about that?
Speaker: Let's start there.
Speaker: I'm going to try and not touch the glass and just try to roll out the window like a combat roll.
Speaker: Are you diving out the window?
Speaker: A little bit.
Speaker: Oh, kind of.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want you to either roll me an athletics or a dexterity, whichever one is lower.
Speaker: Athletics.
Speaker: Oh, 48 out of 50.
Speaker: You you dive out, you hit the wraparound deck that is overlooking the the kind of beach area.
Speaker: And you are able to kind of action movie roll into a almost like a superhero landing position.
Speaker: Hell yeah.
Speaker: Is there any access to the front door?
Speaker: You're outside.
Speaker: Yeah, I would try to make me break down the door to help them.
Speaker: They don't want to jump through the window or something.
Speaker: What do I see first and foremost on the deck?
Speaker: The window that you dove out of is towards the back of the house.
Speaker: So there would be a... Okay, that's the best way I can explain this.
Speaker: You're on a wraparound porch, so it wraps all the way around the house.
Speaker: You have a small staircase that goes down to the beach area.
Speaker: and the deck itself will wrap all the way around to the front where the front door is.
Speaker: Otherwise, out on this deck, there's your typical Adirondack chairs.
Speaker: You have a couple tables.
Speaker: Tables like to put drinks on, not a full-on table.
Speaker: It's a vacation deck.
Speaker: I'm going to wait on the other side of the window to help someone that tries to come through next.
Speaker: I will say that you are still close enough that I'm not going to make you take off your headphones.
Speaker: You're still close enough that you'll be able to hear what they're saying and what's going on inside the house.
Speaker: Oh, fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I need to wait a minute because what Dash is going to do is going to evolve Melanie.
Speaker: Click, click, click, click.
Speaker: I'm loving all the gifts in the group chat.
Speaker: Just get in the coffin.
Speaker: Oh, there's more.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So now that Melanie's back, you can go on with what you were going to do, Dash.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Dash, seeing Kevin get out, immediately whips around, scoops up Courtney, and just kind of hobbles towards the open window, trying to cover Courtney with his body as much as he can, expecting basically everything to try to kill him.
Speaker: Perfect.
Speaker: Did you sleep with your shoes on?
Speaker: He would have put on his house slippers when he got dressed in the morning.
Speaker: The velour.
Speaker: You're lucky I'm going to let you get away with that just because of how much of a pompous asshole you're playing Dash out to be.
Speaker: You're lucky I'm letting you get away with that.
Speaker: I was just about to say no, and then I thought about it.
Speaker: I'm like, no, no, he'd have house slippers.
Speaker: He's that kind of dick.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: Okay, so... You know what?
Speaker: Fuck you.
Speaker: I'm wearing house slippers right now.
Speaker: I always wear house slippers.
Speaker: I have cold feet.
Speaker: Fuck off.
Speaker: Get good, son.
Speaker: So... Okay.
Speaker: How are you trying to take Courtney to the window?
Speaker: Like, you said you scooped her?
Speaker: Yeah, like Princess Carrie.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But you are trying to...
Speaker: He's kind of like hunched over her.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: He doesn't know if it's going to do anything, but he feels like it helps.
Speaker: Which way did you pick her up?
Speaker: Is her head to your right or to your left?
Speaker: Left.
Speaker: So her right arm is against you.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Roll.
Speaker: I can't see it in my head, but I know.
Speaker: It ain't the other arm.
Speaker: One arm!
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: That's still on the floor.
Speaker: Roll me a dexterity.
Speaker: Me?
Speaker: Yes, you.
Speaker: That is a 10 on a 90.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: He's so upset with you.
Speaker: I'm a dexterous fucker.
Speaker: Part of me was hoping you would fail it, so you dropped me.
Speaker: I think that's what Jordan was hoping for, too.
Speaker: He picked my best skill, to be fair.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you are hunched over Courtney.
Speaker: You are able to protect her from the nothing else that's happening right now.
Speaker: And you're also able to keep your footing, unfortunately.
Speaker: And you make it to the window.
Speaker: Now what's your plan?
Speaker: He is going to start putting Courtney through the window feet first, lifting her over the shards of glass to Kevin.
Speaker: Okay, and Kevin did say that he was waiting on the other side to help.
Speaker: Okay, let me see here.
Speaker: Roll.
Speaker: I want you both to roll me some athletics.
Speaker: I failed mine.
Speaker: I got a 74 out of 60.
Speaker: No, I need... You're the one being handed.
Speaker: I need Dash and Kevin to both roll me athletics.
Speaker: That was a 55 on a 50.
Speaker: No!
Speaker: I got a 50 on a 50.
Speaker: You were doing so well, Dash.
Speaker: I try and help, and the dice are like, nah.
Speaker: Nah.
Speaker: Not a bra as you hand Courtney's feet out through the window.
Speaker: Kevin, you are still really fucking beat up from the glass, but you are able to kind of shake it off.
Speaker: I mean, you got this you got this tough guy act that you have to keep going with.
Speaker: You know, you got a bro.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, this shit ain't affecting you.
Speaker: You're able to kind of shake it off.
Speaker: You grab Courtney's feet.
Speaker: And as you go to grab Courtney's feet, you pull a little too hard and Dash is not able to carefully hand her through the way that he wanted to.
Speaker: Pivot, Dash.
Speaker: Pivot!
Speaker: Dash drops Courtney with her head at the windowsill almost through.
Speaker: And as he drops her,
Speaker: One shard of glass goes through the base of her skull.
Speaker: Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker: And Courtney is dead.
Speaker: And now I'm going to say something interesting.
Speaker: I need Nick.
Speaker: And I need Breck.
Speaker: And I need Matt to remove your headphones.
Speaker: Oh, hell no.
Speaker: He's actually doing serious things now.
Speaker: You killed me.
Speaker: I did.
Speaker: How dare you.
Speaker: But here's the fun thing.
Speaker: Are you ready for this?
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: I can trust you as a role player.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: Because here's what's going to happen.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Courtney.
Speaker: Courtney has been dropped.
Speaker: She has a shard of glass through the back of her head.
Speaker: Uh huh.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Courtney is dead.
Speaker: There's blood all down the window.
Speaker: She's her soul has left her body.
Speaker: But you know what's funny about the soul leaving the body?
Speaker: No, it makes room for something else.
Speaker: Oh no.
Speaker: So Melanie, for what everybody else knows, Courtney didn't die.
Speaker: because Courtney is going to get back up.
Speaker: But what they don't know is you are now playing evil Chris in Courtney's body.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So your goal now is to help me kill the rest of them.
Speaker: How the fuck am I supposed to do that?
Speaker: however you want to.
Speaker: Oh, geez.
Speaker: Oh, geez.
Speaker: You can play it as, oh, I'm Courtney and it didn't kill me and I'm fine.
Speaker: Or you can play it as you get up and the first thing you do is attack Kevin.
Speaker: I don't care.
Speaker: You can do it however you want.
Speaker: But our goal is to let not a single player walk away from this.
Speaker: How many hit points does Kevin have?
Speaker: Kevin has one.
Speaker: Kevin has one.
Speaker: Dash still has ten and one freebie.
Speaker: And Jason has three.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I'm going to get everyone back.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Gash who's back?
Speaker: Finish the song.
Speaker: Quit playing Baldur's Gate 3.
Speaker: I know it's what you're doing.
Speaker: I'm going to leave this in the episode so you're real fucking confused.
Speaker: I'm going to be honest.
Speaker: I wish I had a computer to play Baldur's Gate.
Speaker: It looks like so much goddamn fun.
Speaker: I want to play so bad.
Speaker: I am totally getting it for PlayStation when it comes out next month.
Speaker: Oh, I am definitely getting it for PC because I very much want to see in high definition the fucking flame chick.
Speaker: I have already picked out my waifu.
Speaker: Oh, there he is.
Speaker: I just sent him the text too.
Speaker: Okay, so now that you're all back.
Speaker: Hey, I got a text.
Speaker: You guys see blood, brain matter, other bodily fluids, the spinal fluid, everything come from this wound.
Speaker: This shard of glass went straight up through the back of her skull, and Kevin, as you see this happen, you just kind of drop her feet.
Speaker: And her feet hit the deck.
Speaker: And she's just hanging there by her head.
Speaker: Kevin runs to the edge of the deck and starts puking.
Speaker: Not because it's creepy, but because he drank a lot already.
Speaker: A little column A. A little column B. He's also still at one health, so he's not feeling the greatest.
Speaker: And you guys know without a doubt that Courtney's dead.
Speaker: But then something weird happens.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Courtney moves.
Speaker: Courtney?
Speaker: With that, Courtney kind of like sits up and rubs the back of her head a little bit and pulls out the sardeglass and then just looks back at Dash and is like, I thought you were good at this.
Speaker: You... I've never tried to push someone out a window before.
Speaker: Usually it's just downstairs.
Speaker: But how... I... Nope.
Speaker: And he just turns around and walks towards Jason.
Speaker: Courtney gets up and walks towards Kevin.
Speaker: Kevin's still puking.
Speaker: She places her hand on the back of his, like, on his back.
Speaker: And she's got a weird, like, calmness about her, even though she's lost an arm.
Speaker: I was going to say, you did say that you have the glass in your hand still.
Speaker: Yeah, places her hand on his back.
Speaker: Does that shock me?
Speaker: I don't expect to hear her talk back.
Speaker: Um, yes, but what would be, what would really be Kevin's response?
Speaker: If he's throwing up, he's probably still kind of leaning over the railing, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, yes, you're shocked, but you're still just trying to kind of catch your breath.
Speaker: He, like, reels back.
Speaker: Courtney kind of has...
Speaker: A weird look on her face, and she, as he's, you know, puking, takes the glasses in her hand and tries to plunge it into the back of Kevin's neck.
Speaker: Ah!
Speaker: Okay, so... I will say... Kevin can go ahead and roll me alertness against Courtney's spell.
Speaker: I regret walking away now.
Speaker: Yeah, because you don't see any of this happening.
Speaker: 81 out of 50.
Speaker: I got a three out of 10.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: So Kevin has no idea that this is happening.
Speaker: And Kevin, you only have one hit point left, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So Courtney, tell me how you kill Kevin.
Speaker: So as she raises her hand up, the glass that she had pulled from the back of her head, she takes and she slams it into the back of his neck and then slices it from side to side to sever the spinal cord.
Speaker: That's cool, dude.
Speaker: She kind of just lets out a maniac chuckle giggle thing and walks away.
Speaker: And Kevin is dead.
Speaker: And I'm not going to make you guys take your headphones off for this part.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: So, Kevin, I'm sorry that you did not live through this through this mini campaign.
Speaker: You don't have to take your headphones off or anything.
Speaker: You're obviously welcome to sit for the end of this.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Lily is looking on his microphone.
Speaker: I didn't expect to survive this camp.
Speaker: Well, I mean, when I started off telling you guys that you were all going to die, that's pretty fair.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: So we'll smash cut back inside.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: We'll smash cut back inside.
Speaker: We got Dash and we got Jason.
Speaker: What is going on, man?
Speaker: You got me sitting on the floor.
Speaker: Then all of a sudden, y'all go to the window that I've been trying to get out of here.
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: Dash just slumps against the island next to Jason and snatches up the vodka bottle and goes to take a drink.
Speaker: That's not really an answer, bro.
Speaker: Like, what's going on over there?
Speaker: Well, I dropped Courtney in the window.
Speaker: And you can imagine what happened.
Speaker: And I didn't have my voice there because I had alcohol in me.
Speaker: And she died.
Speaker: and then stood up and walked it off.
Speaker: Apparently, I don't know.
Speaker: I just, I hit a puck, I skate, I punch people.
Speaker: I don't do anything else.
Speaker: I'm not even all that pretty, if I'm being honest.
Speaker: Are you sure she died?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I mean, if she got up and walked, she's obviously not dead.
Speaker: Zombies aren't real.
Speaker: Wait, wait a minute.
Speaker: And Dash turns to Jason.
Speaker: Wait a minute.
Speaker: After everything we've seen in the past, I don't know, fucking 20 minutes, you're going to stop at zombies.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: That's where the line is drawn.
Speaker: I'm just saying you could be wrong.
Speaker: Help me up.
Speaker: Help me up.
Speaker: And I like put my hand on your shoulder, just trying to push off of you to start trying to stand back up.
Speaker: Sure, whatever.
Speaker: At this point, I, whatever.
Speaker: And he slowly helps you up, just keeping one hand on the neck of the vodka bottle.
Speaker: Just taking it with him.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Are you standing up with Jason?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: He would help him up and stand up himself.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: How, so you helped him up.
Speaker: How are you getting up?
Speaker: Me?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Explain to me hand placement, leg placement.
Speaker: How are you getting up?
Speaker: So he would have stayed on the ground and helped Jason up by kind of pushing up on his arm hand and then would have just stood up, probably gotten to his knees, one hand on the floor, kind of pushed himself up.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Facing towards the window, ready to fucking do whatever it is we're going to do.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So I'm guessing I see the carnage that was her falling on the shattered glass window.
Speaker: You see the blood?
Speaker: All right, so we're getting out of here now then, right?
Speaker: Like, her and Kevin, they're outside.
Speaker: Let's go, let's get in the car, and let's get out of here.
Speaker: Right as you're about to go out the window, Courtney comes running over, and she has a look on her face of fear, and
Speaker: Kevin's dead.
Speaker: He wouldn't stop throwing up and then he started throwing up blood and then he's dead.
Speaker: Go, go to the car, to the car, to the car.
Speaker: And I'm going to climb out the window.
Speaker: Dash just shrugs and like, oh, just give him a minute.
Speaker: I'm sure he'll pop up like you did.
Speaker: I don't fucking know anymore.
Speaker: Alright, roll me athletics, Jason.
Speaker: Athletics.
Speaker: I like that one.
Speaker: Oh, on the floor.
Speaker: Doesn't count.
Speaker: I love the sound of the tiny dice.
Speaker: I got a 100.
Speaker: Yes!
Speaker: Hold on, hold on.
Speaker: Before you continue, I want to look and see what the one on the floor rolled.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It would have been a 33.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Well, that would have been a crit success.
Speaker: That is disappointing for you.
Speaker: Quite.
Speaker: So, as you get to the window, you see.
Speaker: So let me ask this real quick.
Speaker: What is Courtney doing?
Speaker: Because as of right now, Courtney's directly on the other side of the window.
Speaker: Are you going to help him through?
Speaker: Are you going to stand aside so that way he can get out?
Speaker: No, no.
Speaker: What are you going to do?
Speaker: She's going to push him back in.
Speaker: Nah, uh-uh-uh.
Speaker: He crit failed.
Speaker: I get this one.
Speaker: That's what she'd be standing there to push him back in, is what I'm saying.
Speaker: Like, to be like, oh no, you don't need to go see Kevin.
Speaker: Like, he's dead.
Speaker: There's nothing to... Okay.
Speaker: I don't want to see Kevin.
Speaker: I want to get to the car.
Speaker: I don't think that's a good idea.
Speaker: If Kevin's out here puking blood and died, I don't think we're safe out here as much as we are safe in there.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, Jason, I'm sorry to do this to you.
Speaker: No, you're not.
Speaker: With a crit one, or with a crit fail.
Speaker: With a 100 crit fail.
Speaker: You go to push past Courtney.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: You kind of put your arm out to kind of get her out of the way.
Speaker: You are frantically trying to get out of there.
Speaker: You spot Kevin's body.
Speaker: on the other side of her against the railing.
Speaker: And as you are trying to get out the window, you misjudge it and your foot catches the windowsill and you fall face first onto the deck and break your neck.
Speaker: And that's the end of Jason.
Speaker: Now all that's left is Courtney and Dash.
Speaker: Oh, Dash.
Speaker: Yes?
Speaker: Courtney steps over Jason's dead body and into the house.
Speaker: You see, as she does that, the glass that's still in the window completely just digs into her and she pays absolutely no mind.
Speaker: Well, Courtney, you seem to have gained a few scratches, but don't seem to care.
Speaker: I'm... Oh, damn it.
Speaker: And he's going to whip the vodka bottle at her.
Speaker: Just completely unprovoked, just full-on not caring.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You whip the vodka bottle, and you see Courtney continuing to just slowly walk towards you.
Speaker: And as the bottle sails through the air, she lifts her one remaining arm and just kind of flicks her wrist.
Speaker: And you see the bottle midair just change trajectory and just harmlessly fly off to the side.
Speaker: You really think that could hurt me?
Speaker: Well, I mean...
Speaker: He did die on a window, so anything's possible at this point.
Speaker: I'll be back.
Speaker: And he takes off towards the bedroom.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You have to go through the carnage that is the living room to make it to the bedroom.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: I forgot about that.
Speaker: He does not go for the bedroom.
Speaker: He turns and dashes for the dining room.
Speaker: For the dining room.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is connected to the kitchen.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You can make it there, no problem.
Speaker: What exactly is in the dining room?
Speaker: It's your typical dining room.
Speaker: There's a table, six chairs.
Speaker: The table has like a vase with some fake flowers in it because, you know, real flowers die and we can't have that in a vacation home.
Speaker: It's also got a I don't want to say chandelier, but it's like kind of like a hanging light fixture over the table.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Just your typical dining room.
Speaker: Is there any windows or doors besides the one he came in?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There'd be a couple windows facing outside, and I'd say there would even be like a sliding glass door over there.
Speaker: Dash, as he runs in, is going to pick up two chairs and hold them in front of himself and just charge the glass sliding door.
Speaker: As he's doing this, Courtney's walking to the kitchen to grab a knife.
Speaker: So Courtney grabs a knife.
Speaker: No problem.
Speaker: I'm not going to make you roll anything for that.
Speaker: I am, however, going to make dash roll.
Speaker: Um... Strength?
Speaker: There's so many things that I want to call here because, like, dexterity to hold the chairs out in front of you and not, like, you know, like, keep them in line.
Speaker: A 50-50 to see if the glass breaks.
Speaker: You know, like, I have a lot of things I want to...
Speaker: You can't run from me forever, Dash.
Speaker: Go ahead and yeah, we'll just do it all under the umbrella of strength.
Speaker: Go ahead.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Ha ha.
Speaker: That is a 33 on an 85.
Speaker: I get to do something.
Speaker: You do get to do something.
Speaker: You do.
Speaker: I know it's not live, but you know, I need to do something.
Speaker: I mean, you never know.
Speaker: You still have your one avoid death that I promised you for some stupid fucking reason.
Speaker: Because you almost killed me and Nick in the first 15 minutes of recording tonight?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Incorrect.
Speaker: He did kill me.
Speaker: He killed me too.
Speaker: Okay, so.
Speaker: You killed me.
Speaker: I don't know what you're talking about, Kevin.
Speaker: Uh, you have the chairs out in front of you.
Speaker: I'm gonna guess you're hanging on to the head of the chair and you have the feet facing the windows.
Speaker: Uh, no, he is grabbing the feet at like the front of the part of the chair where your legs would go and holding the backs up to try to kind of block the glass in case it explodes again.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I thought you were using the chairs as like a battering ram, not as a shield.
Speaker: No, he is fully intending to just full body tackle the sliding glass door with the chairs as like a shield.
Speaker: Just bear hugging the legs, which is why I said strength.
Speaker: There's no dexterity here.
Speaker: He's just full on charging.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: I do want you to roll me a dex, though.
Speaker: Can Courtney be moving closer to him as he's attempting to ram these doors?
Speaker: I'm going to say you picked up the knife, but I want to resolve this first because it's
Speaker: It's not time that Dash is deciding what to do.
Speaker: It's time that I'm deciding what I want Dash to roll.
Speaker: He's already committed to picking up the chairs and running.
Speaker: I'm just trying to figure out how story-wise that's going to happen.
Speaker: So you're kind of paused with the knife in your hand, like just pulling it out of the knife block right now as I'm trying to figure out what's going on with Dash.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But as soon as he starts to run towards the door, yes, you can resume walking.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: That is an 86 on a 90.
Speaker: So you are going to run.
Speaker: The glass is going to shatter.
Speaker: You are able to keep your footing and you are outside.
Speaker: The moment he steps outside and is past the doors, he drops the chairs and just keeps sprinting straight.
Speaker: hopping over anything that's in front of him, just gone.
Speaker: Full dash action.
Speaker: Full dash action.
Speaker: So you dropped the chairs that you were bear hugging.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Athletics.
Speaker: He would try to drop them to the side.
Speaker: God damn it.
Speaker: That is a 52 on a 50.
Speaker: So you drop the chairs, you try to drop them off to the side, but one of them hits like all four feet on the ground, then falls.
Speaker: And your legs get caught up in the legs of the chair and you trip and fall face first into the banister.
Speaker: I want you to take five points of damage as the banister comes up and hits you directly in the chest and knocks the wind out of you.
Speaker: Ready or not, here I come.
Speaker: Fuck off, you spooky bitch.
Speaker: I have to say, I didn't plan that.
Speaker: You said that, and it was the first thing that popped in my mind.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: Fuck off, you spooky bitch.
Speaker: Dash is just going to throw him over the banister that attacked him.
Speaker: throw himself over it and just straight into the woods.
Speaker: There are no woods.
Speaker: You're at a beach.
Speaker: We're at Lake Erie, aren't we?
Speaker: Superior?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I thought it was Erie, yeah.
Speaker: It is Erie, and you said the beach was in the other direction.
Speaker: Didn't you?
Speaker: I thought we were at a cabin in the, like, on the beachfront, and the woods are behind us.
Speaker: No, there is no woods.
Speaker: The beach was out the back of the house.
Speaker: The way I had it figured was basically everything that's happening right now is on the backside of the house.
Speaker: The front door is on the other side.
Speaker: The front door would be like where the living room would walk in.
Speaker: You're in the opposite corner where the dining room is at.
Speaker: Lovely.
Speaker: That being said, because you did have to take a minute to...
Speaker: to kind of catch your breath before flipping yourself over the banister.
Speaker: Yeah, the railing, I was going to say, but yeah, the banister.
Speaker: Courtney, are you still just keeping up a walk?
Speaker: No, she's chasing after him at this point.
Speaker: You're chasing after him.
Speaker: So I will give you one opportunity to attack before he's able to flip over.
Speaker: Okay, what do I need to roll?
Speaker: You have a knife, so melee weapons.
Speaker: Don't worry, if she kills you here, you do still have your one free.
Speaker: Don't die.
Speaker: For her running through the remnants of the glass door, would I hear her coming enough to try to roll dodge?
Speaker: Roll it at a disadvantage, but yes.
Speaker: Because you are still very winded from falling face first into the banister.
Speaker: That's it.
Speaker: What do you want me to roll for disadvantage?
Speaker: For disadvantage, you roll the big number twice.
Speaker: It's a 19 out of 30.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, like, you roll the 10 spot twice, not the one spot.
Speaker: And then you take the higher of the two.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: That is a 27 and a 27.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Oh, so you rolled 22 times in a row?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: That is all my luck right there, so I'm not fucked.
Speaker: Where is dodge?
Speaker: I know I have 30.
Speaker: Okay, so I made it.
Speaker: Okay, so you are able to dodge out of the way.
Speaker: Yes, I get to live for at least another 30 seconds.
Speaker: At least.
Speaker: What is your dexterity, Dash?
Speaker: Uh, 90.
Speaker: What is your dexterity, Courtney?
Speaker: 75.
Speaker: So Dash would be slightly faster.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Just trying to figure out how the rest of this is going to play out.
Speaker: So Courtney, you go to stab down into Dash's back as he is face first on the banister, but he's able to dodge out of the way just in time and your knife plunges into the banister.
Speaker: Is it stuck or can I pull it out?
Speaker: Given your current state, you can get it out of the banister with no problem.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: But as you're pulling it out at the banister, Dash flips over down into the sand.
Speaker: I was gonna say something in her creepy voice, but I don't remember what it was now, so yeah!
Speaker: I guess she's just gonna kind of laugh and hop over the banister with ease.
Speaker: and continue to chase after him.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Dash does a mental coin flip as he's moving and sprints straight towards the water.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And as he hits it, the moment it's up to his, like, hips, he just dives in and starts just pounding waves, swimming as fast as he can.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Courtney, what are you going to do?
Speaker: Hold on.
Speaker: Dash is thinking to himself, oh, I'm so glad I was able to get all those swimming lessons and father's pool.
Speaker: This is, this is, well, I don't know anymore.
Speaker: Plus, you know, the fact that your pursuer only has one arm.
Speaker: And is holding a knife.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: He hasn't thought more than get in the water.
Speaker: He doesn't know anything else he's going to do.
Speaker: So, you know, I don't really know what you want me to do.
Speaker: Because he has one arm and like you said, a knife.
Speaker: Basically, so you just run to the edge and just watch him swim away.
Speaker: OK, so here's what I want to have happen.
Speaker: Matt, you still have your headphones on, right?
Speaker: Yes, I'm here.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want Nick and I want Breck to take off your headphones.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: If I remember correctly, your body's pretty fucked.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: But...
Speaker: For this current chase, your body is in better condition than Courtney's.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: If you haven't guessed yet, Courtney's possessed.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So what's going to happen?
Speaker: Courtney, Evil Chris decides that there's nothing more that he can do with your body.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And he vacates Courtney.
Speaker: and leaves her body in a crumple on the beach.
Speaker: And with that, he possesses Heaven.
Speaker: And Kevin, you are able to get up and chase after Dash.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So with that being said, I will get everyone else back and we will continue the scene.
Speaker: As you are swimming out, Dash, are you keeping an eye on Courtney at all?
Speaker: Oh, God, no.
Speaker: He is just pounding his arms and legs, just full tilt.
Speaker: He is going to start angling to the left a little bit, but he's just going for it.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: He figures the more distance, the better.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As you are swimming, you are breathing heavy.
Speaker: You're just trying to get the fuck away from there.
Speaker: And something sounds weird.
Speaker: You hear a muffled thump.
Speaker: And then you hear what sounds like somebody hauling ass across the beach.
Speaker: and then a splash into the water behind you.
Speaker: The moment Dash hears a splash, he's going to take a deep breath and dive under and then just immediately start swimming very hard left.
Speaker: There is a swim roll if you want.
Speaker: Yeah, go ahead and roll that.
Speaker: And I also want Kevin to roll me alertness.
Speaker: And Kevin, your alertness can be at a plus 20.
Speaker: Well, that doesn't help.
Speaker: 94 on a 70.
Speaker: That is an 18 on a 60.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, Kevin, you are just pounding out towards Dash.
Speaker: And you kind of lose him for a second.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Dash, give me a d100.
Speaker: 72.
Speaker: That's how many seconds you were able to hold your breath at this rate.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you're able to make it pretty far.
Speaker: But eventually, you have to come up for air.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And the moment that you do, Kevin is going to clock you.
Speaker: And he will continue his pursuit.
Speaker: Dash is going to, the moment he comes up, orientate himself to land and just start swimming as hard as he can for it.
Speaker: Towards land?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Kevin, you see this and you just start hauling ass towards him.
Speaker: Are you wanting to say anything or do anything in particular as you're going after Dash?
Speaker: I'm going to go underwater.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me a... Well, you know what?
Speaker: No, I'm not going to make you roll me a D100.
Speaker: You're just underwater.
Speaker: Dash, roll me an alertness.
Speaker: A 50 on a 50.
Speaker: You notice that the splashing behind you stops.
Speaker: Uh...
Speaker: God, would he stop?
Speaker: No, he's so far panicked, it's not even funny.
Speaker: He just keeps swimming, if not harder.
Speaker: He is going to see if Courtney's in front of him on the beach.
Speaker: Courtney is collapsed on the beach, yes.
Speaker: Collapsed on the beach?
Speaker: Yes, she is.
Speaker: It looks like she just lost consciousness and fell whatever way her body fell.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Does Matt, I have a question for you.
Speaker: Did Kevin pick up the knife?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I want you each to roll me a just a D10, not a D100, just a D10.
Speaker: I roll a 10.
Speaker: I also wrote a 10.
Speaker: Okay, roll off, roll them again.
Speaker: Roll a five.
Speaker: That is a one.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: As you are swimming towards land, all of a sudden you feel a hand around your ankle.
Speaker: Dash is going to remember his self-defense training.
Speaker: Take a deep breath and like pull his leg up to him, either pulling himself to whatever's on his ankle or pulling it up and just blindly go for the face, trying to get his fingers and eyes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me a... I'm going to say...
Speaker: You've been pushing yourself hard during the swim.
Speaker: So I want you to roll me, we'll say unarmed combat, but I want you to do it at a negative 20.
Speaker: Do I even have that?
Speaker: Unarmed combat is automatically a base 40.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Oh, and I do have that.
Speaker: So I have something in it.
Speaker: Oh, I'm in hockey.
Speaker: Of course I have that.
Speaker: That is a 36 on a modified 50.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So you are able to connect to the face and the grip around your ankle tightens.
Speaker: He is just straight in like thumbs and fingers in his eyes.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And Kevin, what are you doing during all this?
Speaker: I'm trying to pull him down.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me Opposed Strength.
Speaker: 90 on an 85.
Speaker: That is a 92 on an 85.
Speaker: So I guess since you both failed... Will we still be just stuck fighting with each other under the water?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, I'm not going to punish either one of you off of that one since you both failed.
Speaker: Quite spectacularly too.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, Kevin, you are still trying to pull him under.
Speaker: Dash, you are still fighting for your life.
Speaker: Roll me a... I have a quick question.
Speaker: How deep is the spot we're at?
Speaker: Because I was going towards the beach.
Speaker: I'd say about... You're still 8 to 10 feet.
Speaker: So we wouldn't be close to the bottom?
Speaker: You'd be getting there.
Speaker: I said you could hold your breath for 70 something seconds.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Excellent.
Speaker: 59 of them have expired already during this struggle.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: You were going to say something about rolling.
Speaker: I was going to have you roll the D 100 to see how much time had passed, but I just did it.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: still remembering his self-defense training, he is going to go for Kevin's thumb, the weakest of the fingers, and just start twisting it to the side to hopefully get his ankle out.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me an opposed power.
Speaker: Power?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: 12 out of 65.
Speaker: I swear to God, it's a 12 on a 75.
Speaker: Roll off.
Speaker: 64 on a 65.
Speaker: Oh, fucking.
Speaker: A power, a 65.
Speaker: Two on a 75.
Speaker: With it being opposed, a two loses to a 64.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: As you go for the thumb, you look down, and this is the first time you actually make eye contact with Kevin.
Speaker: And you see something really weird, like his eyes don't look right.
Speaker: I mean, I did have my thumbs in them.
Speaker: True, true, true, true.
Speaker: But they're emanating a kind of energy, and...
Speaker: you kind of feel this warmth envelop you.
Speaker: Like, Dash, it's okay.
Speaker: Just stop fighting, man.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: And it's calming.
Speaker: It's really, really calming.
Speaker: And it takes you a minute, but you don't even really register that you're underwater anymore.
Speaker: It's just, you know, you're tired from all the swimming.
Speaker: You have this calming feeling.
Speaker: This is your bro, man.
Speaker: Everything's alright.
Speaker: Everything's okay.
Speaker: And you think for a second, maybe... Maybe I should stop fighting.
Speaker: Maybe I... It is okay.
Speaker: Maybe I should just rest a minute.
Speaker: And I want you to roll me a d10.
Speaker: Eight.
Speaker: Eight.
Speaker: Eight more seconds expire.
Speaker: I want you to roll me a constitution.
Speaker: Or a power again would be fine.
Speaker: But I want you to roll me a power at a negative 40.
Speaker: You want power again?
Speaker: Yep, at a negative 40.
Speaker: That is a 31 on a 35.
Speaker: So as you have about five seconds left, your lungs are screaming for oxygen at this point.
Speaker: You are pulled.
Speaker: At this point, you're about eight feet underwater.
Speaker: So, you know, one good solid kick would get you to break the surface, but you're still in Kevin's grip, but you're able to kind of snap out of it.
Speaker: You got about five seconds left before you lose consciousness being underwater.
Speaker: What do you do?
Speaker: As Dash feels himself hit the bottom, he scrambles around for a rock that's under there, because I'm assuming there's rocks at the bottom of a lake.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: And just picks it up and brings it down as hard as he can on the wrist holding him.
Speaker: And then just swims for the surface if he lets go.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You are underwater, so you're not able to swing it as hard as you would like to.
Speaker: Because, you know, resistance of being underwater and all that.
Speaker: I will say, roll me a melee combat or melee weapons.
Speaker: Do you have anything in melee weapons?
Speaker: Because that's going to justify what I give you a negative on.
Speaker: Just the base 30.
Speaker: OK, roll it at a negative 10.
Speaker: Come on, see if it even does enough damage to do anything.
Speaker: Come on, dice.
Speaker: Oh, apparently I'm not supposed to talk to my dice.
Speaker: That is a 99.
Speaker: So as you swing.
Speaker: You are not able to do like to swing it hard enough to actually get any damage done.
Speaker: And you lose consciousness.
Speaker: You're not dead yet.
Speaker: This is your freebie.
Speaker: You're not dead yet.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Kevin, now that you see that he has lost consciousness, do you let go?
Speaker: Or what do you do?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I'm tracking deeper, bro.
Speaker: I am going to... Since it's not fair to be like, yeah, you get a freebie.
Speaker: Nah, just kidding.
Speaker: You're dead anyway.
Speaker: Roll me a constitution.
Speaker: Brick.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You know, now the dice are being nice.
Speaker: That is a 21 on a 70.
Speaker: In a last ditch fight or flight moment, you wake back up.
Speaker: And I will say, Kevin, you are startled enough to let go that he actually woke up.
Speaker: You have 10 seconds to make it to the surface.
Speaker: Otherwise, you will drown.
Speaker: The moment he feels that Kevin lets him go, he twists to put his feet on the bottom of the lake and just kicks up as hard as he can, just pushing up.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll me a swim.
Speaker: Do you have anything in swim?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Like I said, he had his father's pool.
Speaker: That is a 60 and swim.
Speaker: 60 and swim.
Speaker: Roll with a negative 20 because you are exhausted.
Speaker: That is a 38 on a modified 40.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I am going to... Since you passed that, I am going to let Kevin roll in...
Speaker: See, this one's hard.
Speaker: Do you have anything in swim, Kevin?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What do you have in swim?
Speaker: Roll it at a negative 10.
Speaker: Uh, no.
Speaker: He passed it.
Speaker: Roll it at a negative 20.
Speaker: It's a 16 on a 40.
Speaker: 16 on a 40, and you did a 39 on a 40, or a 38 on a 40, or something?
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: 38.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: You are able to get out of his clutches, and...
Speaker: with just seconds to spare, make it to the surface.
Speaker: So you inhale, you get a nice deep breath, you're coughing, coughing up water, you are fucking exhausted, and you're still probably about 100 feet from the shore.
Speaker: And Kevin is still directly below you, trying to get you back underwater.
Speaker: So I knew this was probably going to happen at some point,
Speaker: But I'm in the middle, well not the middle, but I'm in a lake.
Speaker: I literally have no option except to slowly doggy paddle towards the shore.
Speaker: I have nothing.
Speaker: Nothing but water.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So is that your way of saying you give up basically?
Speaker: I mean, he's gonna try, but he's running on fumes at this point.
Speaker: He's given everything.
Speaker: Kevin dashes above you trying as much as he can to slowly limp his way to shore.
Speaker: What do you do?
Speaker: I grab him.
Speaker: Just going to grab him and pull him under again.
Speaker: Oh yeah.
Speaker: You're so creative, Kevin.
Speaker: Nine and 12.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll.
Speaker: I guess oppose strength, but you're going to roll it at such a disadvantage.
Speaker: What's your strength dash?
Speaker: 85.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Roll it at negative 40.
Speaker: Come on.
Speaker: 56 out of 85.
Speaker: No, not even, not even close.
Speaker: 87 on a modified.
Speaker: Would you say minus 40?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like a 45.
Speaker: So he is able to grab you and pull you under again.
Speaker: Some Freddy Krueger shit.
Speaker: Not Freddy Krueger, but Jason Mourney's.
Speaker: And I'm going to say, because Kevin's not getting any disadvantages, he's basically just going to pull you under and just bear hug you until you stop struggling.
Speaker: As Dash goes underwater, he's just going to start screaming why.
Speaker: As you start screaming why, it's muffled, it's underwater, your consciousness is kind of starting to go in and out.
Speaker: You hear a voice in your head, and the voice in your head basically says, Why?
Speaker: Ha ha ha.
Speaker: You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.
Speaker: And you, my boy, are the egg.
Speaker: Dash's last thought is, oh, an omelet sounds good right now.
Speaker: And with that, Dash drowns.
Speaker: And Kevin, you are at the bottom of the lake.
Speaker: You're holding on to Dash.
Speaker: You feel the life leave his body.
Speaker: You walk slowly towards the shore.
Speaker: Just pulling Dash along with you.
Speaker: And you look at the bodies of everybody.
Speaker: You see Dash's drowned body as you emerge from the water.
Speaker: You see Dash's drowned body that you're holding on to.
Speaker: You see...
Speaker: the broken remains of Courtney lying on the, on the shoreline.
Speaker: You look up at the house and you see Jason with his neck broken, laying on the deck and you just smile.
Speaker: And you think back to the prison that you have been stuck in for a millennium.
Speaker: Just that stupid fucking table.
Speaker: And you were finally able to get that goddamn ceiling fan to come down and break you out of your prison.
Speaker: And it is now time to wreak some havoc.
Speaker: And that's where we're going to end this little mini campaign.
Speaker: Kevin will be back.
Speaker: Dash will remember this.
Speaker: Hey, everybody.
Speaker: Nick here.
Speaker: A little bit of a different outro.
Speaker: I think you know us by now.
Speaker: Our Q&A thing.
Speaker: We need a couple more questions.
Speaker: We need a couple more comments.
Speaker: Go ahead and let us know what you guys are thinking about the show and what you want to know about this show.
Speaker: We'd love to talk about it.
Speaker: After this outro is something a little special.
Speaker: We made some new friends and we can't wait to tell you all about it.
Speaker: Stay safe and we'll see you in two weeks.
Speaker: Ha ha ha!
Speaker: With your long forgotten name, we call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: In the words of the unspeakable language, we call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: By the spilt blood of the wicked, who walk upon this world, sprouting the words of false idols, we call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: On the land of the dead harvest, that which brings the earth itself into your service, Yamal, we call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: We call upon you.
Speaker: The Sprouting, a Call of Cthulhu actual play podcast by Blighthouse Studio.
Speaker: Find us on your podcatcher of choice.
