Transcript
Speaker: This is a Muck Stain Productions Podcast.
Speaker: Hello homies and trainers and welcome to Unknown Radio, your Mugstain production Pokemon talk show where we take a peek at every single Pokemon. I'm Claudia and I'm here with my co -host and partner in Crime Catherine. Hello, I'm Catherine. Whilst Claudia brings the facts, I bring all the pizzazz. Well, a little bit of pizzazz.
Speaker: all the pizzazz. You have all the pizzazz in my heart. It's so nice to see you've ever said to me. And we're here this week to talk about number eight in the national decks. We have evolved our little Squirtle boy into Wartortle. I find it really hard to say Wartortle. Wartortle. But yeah, Wartortle. I think it's because it's got too many T's in it. It's like Wata Tata. Wartortle.
Speaker: War tortle. Do you know what his tagline is?
Speaker: Not yet a man. Pretty close. Instead of being the tiny turtle Pokemon, he is just the turtle Pokemon. At least he's not the mid. The mid -sized turtle Pokemon. And he is a water type. And again, I say he because 85 .5 % of them are male as our older starters. He is three foot, three inches tall and 49 .6 pounds.
Speaker: You really need to like pre -warm it before you do this. I should just start getting the other type of measurement on here as well. 49 .6. Well, 49 .6. Okay, so that's 22 .5 kilograms. That's pretty hefty. He's a pretty hefty guy. I mean, he's grown two foot since Squirtle, so it makes sense. It does, but it's over double Squirt's weight.
Speaker: Yeah, which again makes sense. He's just bulking on some weight and getting a bit bigger. He's beefing out. He does look beefy too. He does look beefy. It's the arms, isn't it? It's them big punching arms that just kind of look like they stick straight out. Yeah, I think he's too henched to put his arms down.
Speaker: So going back to the hard to pronounce name, it's saying that the name may be a combination of war, warrior, or water with tortoise and turtle. So tortle. Okay. So it's interesting that it has war and warrior and water. I mean, it's a lot, but his tail looks more like a wave.
Speaker: Right. So the tail is actually used to store oxygen, which when it was made seems to be a reference to certain turtles that breathe through the cloaca, which is like a little breathing apparatus that is by the tail. Oh, that's key. And you see how it's all like swirly -whirly again?
Speaker: It's another kind of reference to that Japanese legend of the minor game that we talked about last week. Waltz with the ears though.
Speaker: the ears. We will get to the ears because that's actually a really interesting point. But first of all, would you like to explain what this guy looks like? He looks like a blue turtle, but almost like he's got like, it's got like wings on his head. He looks like he could fly, but I know he couldn't fly. Like a bit of a Dumbo mixed with a turtle.
Speaker: That's actually pretty accurate, yeah. The ears are really prominent and very weird because they're not... Squirtle doesn't have any ears, and Blastoise does not have those ears. Yeah, I don't know where they've come from, or where they go. Where did they come from, Cotton Eye Joe?
Speaker: This is the Garden Night Show Pokemon. The shiny version of Wartortle, unfortunately, they did stray away from the yellow, but the shiny version is like a really pretty lilac purple. Okay, I can't bother with that. What kind of show? It is like a green. Oh, that's kind of cute.
Speaker: Yeah, it's pretty badass. So I know you're dying to learn about the ears. Yeah. So they develop these large furry ears, so they are like furry and hairy. And they can use their ears and that tail to balance themselves as they're swimming really fast like rudders. That's kind of cool, but why are they furry? I have no idea. Like...
Speaker: I'm trying to think of a furry water animal and all I can think of is an otter, but I don't even know if they're furry. Well, otters, yeah. They use their tails as a rudder, so maybe it's a reference to that kind of vibe. Maybe, maybe. Not sure.
Speaker: So they live between 13 and 34 years. Oh my god. That's so long. Yeah, and then the older that they get, that furry, swirly -worthy tail that they have, which is also furry, it says, darkens as they get older. Oh, that's cute. You can tell how old they are by the darkness of their tail. Which is kind of cute. Yeah.
Speaker: So because they are much larger than a Squirtle, they have more difficult time walking on land and keeping their balance in the water as well. So I guess that's why they've developed those ears, just because it's a lot more difficult to kind of get around with their weight. I mean, look at the fact he can't bring his arms in.
Speaker: Must be hard. He must just lay on his back and hope for the best. And just use the tail and ears as a rudder and just kick their feet and just go like a jet engine. Once again, he's a houseboat.
Speaker: So they, they can store air in their fur of the, I'm assuming the ears as well, ears and tail. Look, I know Pokemon is made up, but that's too made up. Like how are you storing air in here? I have no idea. It's just not something I can get on board with them. Oxygen bubbles maybe? No, I'm out.
Speaker: Well, it says that they store hair in the fur for extended underwater diving. So they actually go and hide in the water when hunting and then they will like suddenly emerge and surprise its prey and then just grab them. What are they eating? Frogs. I don't know. We'll find that out later. Oh yeah, we will. So that's pretty interesting. So they just hide and surprise, kind of like gators do that. Do I?
Speaker: Just hide in the water and then creep up and then jump out. That makes me uncomfortable. So yeah, they just cloak themselves completely in the water and then they just come out and attack them. And I'm assuming because they can't keep their balance very well in the water, it's better to surprise than chase for these guys. Okay, yeah, I get that. A bit like how cats pounce. Yeah, when they just creep up and then it saves the actual chase. Yeah.
Speaker: which is pretty cool. So I do have a little factoid that you'll like because you like something being a bit badass. Yeah, I do. Wartortle pride themselves on scratched shells as they show toughness in battle. Generally, it is believed that the more scratches a Wartortle gains during this stage of its evolution, the stronger it will be after evolution. Oh, that's kind of cool. So they're just walking around like, you want to know how I got these scars?
Speaker: Yeah, so like it's a real rebellious. It's like one up from the squirt gang. Right. Instead of just being a bit of a nuisance with a rebellious trait, they're actually fighting and gaining scratches and symbols of battle. You want to see these scars, boy. You don't know what I've seen. We'll go into another Twilight Crow and just be like, battle scars. Again. Straight over there. You need to watch.
Speaker: Then you'll understand. I've watched, but I don't understand them that deeply. So these little guys, kind of like Squirtle, live in colonies, but their preferred habitat seems to be freshwater ponds and lakes. So they're not saltwater animals. I like the fact they live in colonies, though.
Speaker: Right, I can just imagine like a colony of like, squirrels and then a couple of war tortles just beefing around and then, like you said, a blastoise is kind of the big daddy. Yeah, I like that idea. That's quite cute. So maybe the war tortle had to keep the rebellious squirrels in line. Yeah, and then you've got the big daddy to control everyone. And then it's very cool that they now have these like fangs that poke out of their mouth and they have claws on the end of its
Speaker: hands, so they're definitely more built for fighting and power. Yeah, it's like Charmeleon. Like they've gone from this really cute thing to this really angsty teenager. They just like to fight. Yeah, which we didn't have with the first Evolution Chain. I'd love to see a Charmeleon in a war total, just go at it. Yeah, I mean, I don't know who would win.
Speaker: I'd want to say water, because you know, water beats fire. But if we're just going on pure fistfight alone, then it would be the Charmeleon. Well, yeah, because Charmeleon is the best, but he likes swinging hands. He does like swinging hands.
Speaker: It's interesting though. Yeah, this guy is definitely like the angsty, maybe less angsty than the Charmeleon because it looks like they pride themselves in battle and getting scratched rather than, you know, that could be from a lost battle, but at least they fought. Whereas Charmeleon is more like, I need to fight and I need to win. Yeah, he's more of just, look, I'm giving it my best shot. I'm just getting angry. Yeah. Interesting.
Speaker: So we will go ahead and move on to our question section for the middle watermon for our kanto starters. I didn't say squirt. The middle wet one. The middle wet one. So if you were just hanging around like on a little island and then you see, you know, some of like this colony of squirtles and war tortles and a blastoise and then there's a little war tortles just
Speaker: by you away from the others. He's just looking kind of friendly. What would you do? I'd want to make it my friend and I'd want to bring it home. Right. I don't think this guy would attack you. I don't. Yeah. I reckon I could, I'd sit with it for a while showing that I'm friend, not a fight. And I'd just, like with Squirt, I'd take it home. You could go for a swim with him.
Speaker: I could hold on to his shell and he'd speed off down the river. You can help balance him. Yeah. I could take him to a water park. I could just get cards and hoes on him, you know? Little sprinkler. Yeah. Oh, can you imagine him running round chasing a sprinkler?
Speaker: See, yeah, because he does have like the angry eyes in the pictures, but he doesn't strike me as like an angry dude. No, I reckon he's quite a sweet one, really. Yeah. And he likes to have a bit of a rough and tumble, but I feel like on his terms. Yeah. Yeah. He's got manners. I reckon so. I reckon he'd call you back. Yeah. And I, yeah, as I reckon he's got like morals. Yeah. A bit like the Charizard, really. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker: But not quite that. I'm excited to know how much moral Blastoise has. We're already calling him Big Daddy, but he's not at that title yet. We'll have to see when we get to him. We will. So what kind of function do you think the Wartortle would have in the Pokémon universe that's not fighting? Fire fighting. Oh, he could definitely be a fire fighter too. I reckon he'd be really good at the docks.
Speaker: Oh, like roping up boats and stuff. Yeah. And then like, so it falls overboard. He just jumps in, picks it up and comes back out. He's got it. Yeah. And I reckon maybe like, so they had the Squirtle as the firefighter. This guy, because he obviously likes being a warrior and having that kind of warrior code, I reckon he'd be good at like fire search and rescue.
Speaker: Oh yeah, like mountain rescue in the rivers and that. Yeah, I think he could definitely do that. Like a kid falls in, no worries, he got it. You know, there's a shipwreck and people are in trouble. He's got it. You know, there's a fire somewhere. He'll just run in there and he's got them. He'd definitely do well in Cambridge here because we have got the most rivers in England, apparently.
Speaker: And especially if someone's gone down and maybe they're trapped and drowning, he carries oxygen in his fur. Oh, he's a dream boat. You imagine nestling your face into that furry tail for your oxygen. Right, and he'll just give you some oxygen before bringing you back up to the surface. Yeah. So you get to breathe before you even out of the water. That's pretty useful. That is pretty useful. I also again, I reckon he'd just be a good, good mate.
Speaker: Yeah, he would. You could just hang out, have a good time with him, you know, get on like a paddle board and stand on it and then like tie a rope around him. Yeah, he'd pull you around a lake, no problem. Just some nice water skiing and he'd love that. You would even have to go on a pedalo. Yeah, I feel like you definitely have to tie him out a bit. Yeah, he'd need a run round, for sure.
Speaker: He'd be a good, yeah, I think a good buddy. He looks like he needs a friend. He does. I agree. He's a lot sweeter than I thought he was. He is. I don't know whether we're just seeing him as a lot sweeter than he actually is, but I've got a lot of time for this guy. Right. I mean, I'm just, I'm just saying the facts that's on here. That's true. You've got the facts. And you've got the pizzazz and together we figure out the vibe of every Pokémon.
Speaker: What's its vibe? I'm gonna go into its internal psyche next. I don't think he's depressed at all. No, I don't think he is either. We should know because at that time we got you in psychology at A level because we're in K. I reckon he'd just wear a shirt that says keep calm and carry on. Keep calm and toward line.
Speaker: That's another merch idea. Yeah. So it said that he kind of hides into the water and then jumps out to surprise its prey. What do you think his diet consists of? I want to say fish. Oh, yeah. I also think, you know, there's really annoying things that like scuttle everywhere.
Speaker: Not a crab, like newts or something. Oh, like other like amphibians? Yeah. Yeah, he could get that. I see because he comes out of the water to surprise things. I definitely think you're right with that. It's going to be something that's on the surface of the water. Yeah. Like Pokemon universe, like if like a wind girl is just chilling on the water. I don't think it could take a wind girl because wind girls are quite big, isn't they?
Speaker: Oh yeah, they're like four foot long. Yeah, fucking huge. Well, just anything that's like, like that weird duck. I don't know what its name is. Not Quaxley. Ducklet? Ducklet, yeah, probably. Something like that. Just something that's on the surface of the water because I can definitely imagine like something just chilling and then he's hiding underneath and kind of gets right underneath them and just comes right up, opens that mouth and just chomps them and drags them down. That sounds terrifying, but I think he might be right.
Speaker: It would make sense with, you know, his biological makeup that he could definitely do that. Yeah, absolutely. And he's definitely got to be a water hunter because it's said that he has difficult walking around on land. Yeah. Because he's so beefy. He's so cute. I reckon he could snack on some fish as well. Yeah, exactly. And I reckon like he probably eats seaweed. Maybe a Krabby. That is a Pokemon, right? Yeah. Yeah, I thought so.
Speaker: Oh, what's that well annoying one that has like, it looks like it's got bows in its hair. I don't know. Is that a Krabby? No, Krabby just looks like an orange crab. Yeah, but it's got bows in its hair. I don't know, I'm just thinking about snubble. Nah, I'm not thinking of Krabby.
Speaker: Oh, I don't know, because I don't know what it's called. It's like a crab Pokemon, but it looks like it's got bows in its hair. Let me do a Google. Crab Pokemon. That's what I'm, I'm giggling it, but it doesn't come up with it. It's just like, what are you talking about? Paris? Yes. If a Paris was by the water, I reckon you would, but it's a bug Pokemon. Oh.
Speaker: Well, I found that there's a place called... I spelled Paris very wrong. I found a place in Mexico, say... Called Paris? Paris. Of Paris, Mexico. I don't know how to spell Paris. Not to be confused with Paris, France. It's called Paris Fury. I don't wanna... Yeah, I reckon we're spot on with what he eats. And he looks like a carnival, this one.
Speaker: But can you just take a moment? It does look like it's got bows in its hair, yeah? Yeah, it does. The mushrooms. Yeah. Anyway, it definitely eat a Paris. It could include, I like water also. Yeah, he's a meat eater or a pescatarian. Yeah. Absolutely. So could we eat him? Yes.
Speaker: You're more confident with this than you were about Squirtle. Do you know why? It's because he's not as cute. Although... Alright, if it's fair. He does also look like he could fly. But he doesn't. No, but he gives the real air energy. I reckon that it wouldn't surprise me if there was, in the Pokémon universe, if there was some kind of fancy -ass restaurant that would have war -tortled tail.
Speaker: It's like a special dish. Yeah. And, um, wartortle soup. Oh yeah. Yeah. So maybe you can have like the tail as a delicacy and then they make like a soup out of, you know, other parts of meat. And then they serve it in a shell. Just, yeah, oh my god, you can make like a wartortle crab dip.
Speaker: and then have it served in its shell. I don't know what that is, but yes, you definitely could. Yeah, you just dip bread in like a pate. That's horrific. Yeah, water or pate could work, I suppose. It's horrific, but I would try it. Yeah. Just to say you have, like kangaroo. Yeah. Yeah, like gator. I'd eat alligator just to say I have.
Speaker: Yeah. Yeah. So I did and then I kept eating it because it was good. I'd feel bad though because War Tortle looks like a guy. I figured it out. You know those like helmets that they wear?
Speaker: Anyway, don't worry about my fork. Oh, okay, so the helmets with the wings on them? Yeah. That's actually really cool because then that would go into the warrior thing. That's what has been in my head the whole time and it was bugging me. So maybe that's why it was designed that I couldn't see. I was looking up what that could have presented. They're like asterisk. Is it the Greeks that used to wear them? Yeah, because it was at the wings of Achilles. Yeah.
Speaker: Oh, that's been bugging me this whole time. And that was won by warriors. You've cracked it. Flippy cracks it, mate. You hecking cracked it. Hecking cracked it. Yeah, so it does look like it could be like a... That's what he looks like. And that's why I've always associated him with air, even though I know he's a water Pokemon, because of the wings.
Speaker: It's, this is beautiful. And you know, that actually makes a lot of sense now. We'll get into Blastoise when we get there, but he's, you know, based off of a tank. And then as we go on to his like mega evolutions and stuff, they're based on like military. Yeah. There we go. So this is the tie -in. This is the tie -in. We found it.
Speaker: There you go. That's it. We don't even have to do the last question. Nailed it. No. So if you walk into like a fisherman's bar by like a really beautiful lake and then there's just a war tortle at the bar and his shell is all scratched and he's just enjoying, you know, like... He's 34, you know, he's really been through life.
Speaker: He's got a nice dark tail because he's older. He's got a bit of a five o 'clock shadow and he's just enjoying like a rum and coke. Or maybe, no, he strikes me as like a pina colada type of fella. Do you know what? Yeah, but asks for it in like a normal glass because he doesn't want anything too fancy. But still with the umbrella.
Speaker: Oh yeah, he can't have a pina colada without an umbrella. Right. So he's just enjoying that, you know, he's, he's, you know, in his little end of life crisis, and he turns around and he looks at you. You know, he's thinking, I want one last battle before I evolve. Who would win? I, just before I answer this question, the fact you set the scene in such a way, it's like you tell the whole backstory and then I have to decide whether or not I'm going to beat up a Pokemon.
Speaker: I love it. I would give it my best shot, but I'm not sure I could beat him. And then, you know, it's it'll be good because he would be happy if he won or lost. He's just he just wants the fight. Yeah, but I don't think I could take him, but I would try.
Speaker: Well, you might have an advantage because he's not, he has a difficult time moving around on land. That's true. If he battled me in water, I'd instantly die because I don't have gills. But on land, that is true. I could just push him over. Yeah. And you can't get up. I could take him. I've changed my mind. I can take him. Turtles can't get up once they're on their back. Nope. So just push him over. And you know what? You can do him a solid and like grab like a fork or something from behind the bar and just put a couple more scratches in its shell.
Speaker: I honestly didn't think you were going... I thought you were going to end up in a completely different direction, right? I was like, holy crap, this is turning into a murder! This is stylish! I'll put him out of his misery! Who the fuck?!
Speaker: You know, because they believe the more scratches that they have during the stage in their life, the stronger it will be after evolution. So just scratch, fucking scratch the shit out of a shell. No, I got that, mate. But that's not the direction I thought you were going in. No, it was being nice.
Speaker: I even said fork instead of knife, so it sounded less bad. No, I was more concerned that you'd get off a fork. You're going to bloody... I don't pay my attention or just eat him raw. Just eat him raw. Dip some bread in him. So on that note... Talk tartar. We're going to go enjoy some war tortle tartar.
Speaker: All right. Well, do you like him more? Well, I do. I do actually. I think he's a nice guy. I also am really happy that I've remembered about the warrior hat. I'm so proud of you for that. That was like a poke epiphany. That's the poke epiphany of the week. Oh, I needed it actually. After the week I've had. I needed that. You know what? I like this guy more than I like Charmeleon. Yeah, same. Mm hmm.
Speaker: I really like him. If we could go Charmander, Wartortle, Charizard. Charizard. Or maybe Mega Venusaur. Mega Venusaur is going to change the world. Jeez, we loved him. I slept on this guy. I slept on him and, you know, this is me admitting my mistakes and asking for repentance from Arceus. I would definitely choose Squirtle.
Speaker: I want to now, but I want to keep it as a war talk. My second choice. We haven't learnt yet. We might fall in love with Blastoise. We might. It is. Well, next week we're going to be evolving him and we might. It might be love at first sight. I'm looking forward to it actually, mate. Me too. Yeah. All right. Well, on that note, I'll talk to you later. Oh.
Speaker: I'm not even gonna top that. That was amazing. We just war tortled Tata for now. See ya!
