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Dead Island with Jesse - Part 2
23 Plays2 years ago
WOW is this book bad. There is a content warning for SA this episode for some real dicey happenings that the book definitely doesn't earn. It will happen beginning at 36:08 and the part ends at 39:34
Check out Jesse on the NoClip Podcast. You can find him on twitter @Guarascia
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Book Synopsis
Welcome to Banoi, a tropical island where you can leave the stresses of the world behind...
Welcome to the Royal Palms Resort - which offers its guests from around the world the ultimate in luxury and relaxation...
Welcome to the holiday paradise where your dreams should come true...but where a nightmare is about to begin....
Because a mysterious epidemic has suddenly, and without warning, broken out across the island. The local islanders, hotel guests and workers alike are struck down - only to rise again, craving the flesh and the blood of the still living. For four of the holidaymakers and a handful of others scattered around Banoi who are seemingly unaffected by the plague, they must face the awful, terrifying reality of a zombie apocalypse. Now there is only one thing left to do: survive.
Welcome to Dead Island... a paradise to die for.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Novelization Discussion
00:00:01
Speaker
It's just a novelization of Children of Men and they just changed the title.
00:00:05
Speaker
Don't look too hard.
00:00:10
Speaker
You know what else is not too hard?
00:00:14
Speaker
Was it
Introducing Pixlet and Continuing Dead Island Discussion
00:00:16
Speaker
Hey there, everybody.
00:00:16
Speaker
Welcome back to Pixlet.
00:00:17
Speaker
My name is Kevin.
00:00:18
Speaker
With me today is Jesse, and we're continuing on the path of reading Dead Island.
00:00:27
Speaker
I was going to say the path of righteousness, but this is not righteous at all.
00:00:31
Speaker
No, it's the exact opposite of it.
00:00:34
Speaker
It's wrong-chis-ness, if anything.
00:00:35
Speaker
Wrong-chis-ness.
00:00:36
Speaker
Yeah, so Jesse, how are you doing?
00:00:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:00:43
Speaker
I'm well,
Content Warning and Sensitive Themes
00:00:44
Speaker
I'm here.
00:00:44
Speaker
I've read a book and I'm excited to talk about more of it with you, my good friend.
00:00:52
Speaker
So before we get into it, this is an episode that I have to give a content warning for.
00:01:00
Speaker
We have some sexual references to sexual assault in this section of the book that we're going to discuss.
00:01:08
Speaker
Not great.
00:01:10
Speaker
Blanket content warning for racism, I guess.
00:01:13
Speaker
But, you know, we're beyond the pale with that one already.
00:01:18
Speaker
Yeah, that book came in hard with that and has not slowed down.
00:01:22
Speaker
That was that was right on the tin.
00:01:26
Speaker
So, yeah, well, we're going to go ahead and put this body in the marsh with Chapter 8.
00:01:31
Speaker
I'm embarrassed.
00:01:34
Speaker
um so chapter eight they're they're they're going through moorsby the town and they hear church bells as they arrive and uh perna meanwhile is annoyed that jinn just exists she just fucking hates jinn so much uh and jinn is like i'm not gonna handle any weapons because i'm a pacifist and perna just hates that she hates it so much um
00:02:02
Speaker
And then there's a disagreement amongst the group about whether they should actually go check out the church because the bell is ringing and Perna's like, why are we doing this?
00:02:11
Speaker
And they outvote her.
00:02:12
Speaker
So they go to check out the church.
00:02:15
Speaker
It's like world's worst D&D group.
00:02:17
Speaker
Yeah, just straight towards the bad guy.
00:02:19
Speaker
You know, there's someone there.
00:02:21
Speaker
How many alive people are there on the island?
00:02:23
Speaker
Probably not a good thing.
00:02:25
Speaker
Not a good thing.
Bizarre Zombie Descriptions and Themes
00:02:27
Speaker
They have to get out and walk because there's no road that goes up to the church and they have to fight through a horde of zombies that appear in the graveyard like a thriller video.
00:02:38
Speaker
And page 135 has a moment in which the author decided to refer to as a kid that is coming to attack them as...
00:02:55
Speaker
It was a teenage boy, a ghetto kid.
00:02:58
Speaker
His clothes were frayed and threadbare.
00:03:02
Speaker
Like...
00:03:05
Speaker
There's been a lot of description of characters and people who've been turned into zombies or whatever they're calling this.
00:03:11
Speaker
And it's it's not it doesn't feel particularly valuable.
00:03:16
Speaker
Like, I don't feel like they're more human because I know they're wearing like a Batman T-shirt or something.
00:03:22
Speaker
You know, I'm just like, OK, our world's greatest lover, you know.
00:03:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:28
Speaker
So to do that in particular is like, you didn't have to describe the down and out, down and out colored boy who just got stabbed by this, this group of people.
00:03:37
Speaker
Like why, why do that?
00:03:39
Speaker
What are we, what are we, what's the point of any of this?
00:03:41
Speaker
So I feel bad about who they're killing, but like, they're just, they were humans.
00:03:45
Speaker
I already feel bad for that or whatever.
00:03:47
Speaker
Yeah, it's, you know, it's not great.
00:03:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:03:57
Speaker
So, Ghetto Kid gets killed.
00:04:03
Speaker
God.
00:04:05
Speaker
Isn't there another one that gets killed in this chunk where they're making their way to the church?
00:04:09
Speaker
And it's described as, what is it?
00:04:12
Speaker
The shotgun blast that Perna does collides with a woman.
00:04:16
Speaker
And it's described as both of the enemy and the zombie.
00:04:21
Speaker
And I think Jin's with the zombie.
00:04:23
Speaker
And she describes it as both of them going down like Skittles.
00:04:30
Speaker
Like that's how they fell.
00:04:31
Speaker
And like they should like they shattered like Skittles hitting the ground.
00:04:35
Speaker
I'm like, what are we doing?
00:04:36
Speaker
What kind of Skittles are these?
00:04:39
Speaker
Yeah, right.
00:04:40
Speaker
Those big heavy Skittles.
00:04:43
Speaker
What?
00:04:44
Speaker
I don't.
00:04:47
Speaker
I've never heard anyone describe anything falling as it's as it being like Skittles.
00:04:52
Speaker
like skittles there's another weird description later uh i i think i highlighted um where it was just like oh uh we'll get to this scene but they are swarmed like wasps attracted to a picnic and i was like yeah and yes yeah ants that's the thing much like paul rudd ants
00:05:16
Speaker
Like I just, that's, that's the thing.
00:05:18
Speaker
That's the line.
00:05:19
Speaker
Everyone knows that.
00:05:20
Speaker
It's like ants to a picnic.
00:05:21
Speaker
It's like a fat kid on cake.
00:05:23
Speaker
It's like, you know, falling down like Skittles.
00:05:25
Speaker
You know, everyone says falling down like Skittles.
00:05:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:05:27
Speaker
You know, Skittles famously falling down, uh, fucking Skittles.
00:05:33
Speaker
You think you're pouring them into your hand?
00:05:35
Speaker
You're not pouring them in your hand.
00:05:36
Speaker
They're like missing your hand.
00:05:37
Speaker
Go right to the ground.
00:05:38
Speaker
Falling like Skittles.
00:05:39
Speaker
Everyone knows this hashtag falling like Skittles.
00:05:43
Speaker
Um,
00:05:45
Speaker
So in my notes, I write things get violent, et cetera, et cetera.
00:05:52
Speaker
It's like pages and pages of you just had a page limit you had to hit.
00:05:57
Speaker
And he was like, I don't know.
00:05:58
Speaker
Here's some more death and destruction and viscera.
00:06:01
Speaker
Enjoy.
00:06:01
Speaker
I'll just go through all the fight scenes and extend them by five pages.
00:06:05
Speaker
And that should do it.
00:06:06
Speaker
Double space.
00:06:07
Speaker
This is a novella before then.
00:06:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:11
Speaker
Tight 80.
00:06:12
Speaker
80 clean pages.
00:06:13
Speaker
It was tight 80 in and out, you know?
00:06:16
Speaker
Yep.
00:06:18
Speaker
So Jin actually hits one of the zombies with a crowbar, and she's really upset about that.
00:06:25
Speaker
May is the one who actually kills the zombie, but Jin's upset that she actually hit the zombie with the crowbar.
00:06:31
Speaker
And Perna consoles Jin as she cries that she was in the fight.
00:06:37
Speaker
So...
Exploring the Church and Apocalyptic Themes
00:06:40
Speaker
Yeah, they keep going.
00:06:41
Speaker
There's another zombie that they have to kill, and then they knock on the door, and they meet a man named Ed Lacey, who is on the island.
00:06:49
Speaker
He's a vacationer.
00:06:50
Speaker
He's there with his wife, and he gives them the lay of the land in the church.
00:06:55
Speaker
Here's the church.
00:06:56
Speaker
Here's the steeple.
00:06:58
Speaker
Opening the roof, and here's all the people.
00:07:01
Speaker
God.
00:07:07
Speaker
So he points out, and there's Mr. Owen.
00:07:10
Speaker
He seems to be having a heart attack.
00:07:13
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
00:07:16
Speaker
Dude.
00:07:20
Speaker
I don't know.
00:07:22
Speaker
Look at Mr. Owen.
00:07:23
Speaker
He's dying.
00:07:24
Speaker
Jin's like, we're going to help you.
00:07:25
Speaker
This is the naked dude, right?
00:07:28
Speaker
No.
00:07:28
Speaker
No, this is later.
00:07:29
Speaker
Okay.
00:07:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:07:30
Speaker
He's just on the bench having a heart attack.
00:07:34
Speaker
Jin's like, let's help out.
00:07:36
Speaker
And Perna goes, no.
00:07:38
Speaker
And then Ed is like, well, maybe we can work something out.
00:07:42
Speaker
And he takes them to the back where Sister Helen and a man named Danny are ringing the bells for some reason.
00:07:49
Speaker
And Sister Helen, full tinfoil hat on this being the apocalypse.
00:07:54
Speaker
She's like,
00:07:55
Speaker
God's wrath, you know, is coming to smite us all.
00:07:59
Speaker
That's what this is.
00:08:01
Speaker
Finally.
00:08:02
Speaker
You know, finally.
00:08:03
Speaker
And then Ed is like, don't ask Sister Helen why she thinks God's wrath is...
00:08:12
Speaker
There's so like quest givery here too.
00:08:15
Speaker
Like so gameplay, you could feel like, okay.
00:08:18
Speaker
You could feel the exclamation point above the, their heads as they're waiting for you.
00:08:26
Speaker
Um, so they come up with a plan.
00:08:28
Speaker
Danny knows how to get into the police armory because he installed it for the cops.
00:08:35
Speaker
Uh, so he knows all the codes and, uh,
00:08:39
Speaker
So the goal is they're going to go get guns for the people at the church.
00:08:46
Speaker
And I don't even know what they're necessarily getting out of that.
00:08:49
Speaker
Oh, well, yeah, they get the group gets guns, too.
00:08:51
Speaker
So everybody gets maybe everybody gets explosions or explosives.
00:08:55
Speaker
Maybe.
00:08:56
Speaker
Maybe.
00:08:57
Speaker
Who knows?
00:08:57
Speaker
Who knows?
00:08:59
Speaker
Who knows?
00:08:59
Speaker
Chapter nine, though, we get.
Critique on Consumerism and Fashionista Zombie
00:09:04
Speaker
I mean, I know authors who use subtext and they're all cowards.
00:09:12
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:14
Speaker
Right there at the beginning of chapter nine, our author writes that the zombies grouped up in the street are a hideously grotesque parody of consumerism.
00:09:32
Speaker
Like, nice, dude.
00:09:33
Speaker
My man.
00:09:34
Speaker
You understand zombies.
00:09:35
Speaker
You figured it out.
00:09:36
Speaker
Congratulations.
00:09:38
Speaker
You know, George Romero managed to do a whole movie without actually saying that and said that.
00:09:46
Speaker
But you just wrote it there.
00:09:50
Speaker
Good for you.
00:09:50
Speaker
Good for you.
00:09:52
Speaker
He just rented Dawn of the Dead.
00:09:54
Speaker
He had literally just read to Dawn of the Dead before writing this scene.
00:09:57
Speaker
Yeah.
00:09:57
Speaker
And was like, hey.
00:09:58
Speaker
I think these people are wage slaves.
00:10:02
Speaker
Hmm.
00:10:04
Speaker
Next, I'm going to write a book about vampires, but they're all going to be rich people.
00:10:09
Speaker
No one will see this coming.
00:10:13
Speaker
Stupid.
00:10:16
Speaker
Sorry, Mark.
00:10:18
Speaker
Sorry, Mark.
00:10:19
Speaker
You're not stealing from George Romero or Anne Rice in this house.
00:10:27
Speaker
Nope.
00:10:29
Speaker
Anyway, they're bopping through town.
00:10:31
Speaker
There's a lot of zombies walking around the main stretch, but noise.
00:10:35
Speaker
They confirm their hypothesis is that noise isn't what attracts the zombies.
00:10:40
Speaker
Cars themselves really don't catch their attention.
00:10:43
Speaker
Um, they get to their first stop, the police station, and they're going to load up on guns.
00:10:47
Speaker
Uh, outside this police station though, there's a fashionista zombie and they're like, uh, you know, we get a full description about how she's wearing a Christian Dior, a t-shirt, uh, or she got the Gucci's on, she wearing the Balenciaga's.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yep.
00:11:03
Speaker
Yep.
00:11:04
Speaker
Red heels, uh, Louboutins, uh, on, you know, all that fun stuff.
00:11:12
Speaker
With the, yeah, Louis Vuitton purse.
00:11:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:18
Speaker
So anyway, they're like, oh, maybe she won't notice us.
00:11:21
Speaker
But then they're spooked because there's like another one that appears, jump scare.
00:11:27
Speaker
So then all the zombies are looking at them now.
00:11:32
Speaker
And Perna basically just GTAs around the city a few times.
00:11:37
Speaker
Yeah, that is the way to describe it.
00:11:40
Speaker
She just like is just ripping and tearing in this vehicle, just knocking into corpses, smashing them around.
00:11:47
Speaker
There's people flying all over the place and well-described fashion.
00:11:52
Speaker
Isn't one of them a small boy in Batman pajamas who was running up behind?
00:11:59
Speaker
Like, why are we, there's so many children being accurately described and then just absolutely slaughtered in this book.
00:12:07
Speaker
Absolutely slaughtered.
00:12:09
Speaker
There's just no other way to put it.
00:12:10
Speaker
They're getting run over by vans.
00:12:12
Speaker
They're getting stabbed in the neck.
00:12:14
Speaker
Can we do something nice?
00:12:16
Speaker
It's just like, you know, a lineup of kids and then fucking Ultimate Warrior coming out and clothes lining the ball.
00:12:28
Speaker
Just open the door to the van and we'll just take them all out.
00:12:31
Speaker
Do it all at once.
00:12:33
Speaker
They're all door height.
00:12:34
Speaker
It's fine.
00:12:35
Speaker
They're all door height.
00:12:36
Speaker
Just use the door.
00:12:37
Speaker
That's what it's there for.
00:12:38
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:12:41
Speaker
They get the zombies.
00:12:42
Speaker
They give the zombies the slip because they're crafty like that.
00:12:46
Speaker
And they end up back at the police station.
00:12:49
Speaker
But, hey, it's my daughter.
00:12:52
Speaker
Speaking of kids.
00:12:54
Speaker
Hello.
00:12:54
Speaker
Hello.
00:12:57
Speaker
yeah well phil's phil because phil's on baby leave right now yeah because he had his kid so this is jesse hello hello
00:13:14
Speaker
Bye-bye.
00:13:17
Speaker
Perfectly timed.
00:13:19
Speaker
Perfectly timed.
00:13:20
Speaker
It's like she heard what I was saying.
00:13:22
Speaker
It's like, yeah.
00:13:24
Speaker
Oh, boy.
00:13:27
Speaker
Did you hear what she said?
00:13:28
Speaker
No, at the end there?
00:13:29
Speaker
No, I didn't.
00:13:29
Speaker
She said, hello, Jesse.
00:13:31
Speaker
You'll have to get used to me walking in.
00:13:36
Speaker
Oh, that's cute.
00:13:38
Speaker
Yeah, she's adorable.
00:13:39
Speaker
I think I'll keep her.
00:13:43
Speaker
What a dad line.
00:13:45
Speaker
What a dad line.
00:13:47
Speaker
I'm such a dad.
00:13:49
Speaker
They get out of the van and they're swarmed like wasps to a picnic.
00:13:55
Speaker
Again, what?
00:13:56
Speaker
What?
00:13:59
Speaker
They get inside the police station and whoops, there's some bad guys in there already.
00:14:04
Speaker
And they have guns.
00:14:05
Speaker
Oh, man.
00:14:07
Speaker
And you're not talking about zombies.
00:14:09
Speaker
no i'm talking about real real deal bad dudes yep um they and they they have the drop on the group and uh so they have to put all their guns down and they're talking back and forth and danny lets it slip accidentally he's like but i have the codes so we all can get guns what a moron danny danny you
00:14:32
Speaker
beautiful dumb boy um to be fair we all know the code of the door it's oh four five one of course oh four five one of course it is um you know when have you ever played have you played gloomwood i have yeah that's my favorite oh four five one when we put it in it like it like every safe can open but it just explodes and you don't get anything that's in the safe it's so funny
00:14:59
Speaker
Because the developer, Dylan Rogers, we did a whole documentary about it for Noclip.
00:15:04
Speaker
He was talking about how the reason that he does that is because he thinks it's just funny that people are so into 0451 as the default code or first code for so many immersive sims.
00:15:17
Speaker
And he's like, you know what?
00:15:18
Speaker
Let's prank these nerds.
00:15:19
Speaker
And he fucking gets everybody.
00:15:21
Speaker
And it's really funny.
00:15:22
Speaker
It's everybody.
00:15:23
Speaker
And it's like it's right in his Twitter username.
00:15:26
Speaker
Taffer King four or five one.
00:15:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:30
Speaker
Huge thief.
00:15:30
Speaker
The fan.
00:15:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:31
Speaker
Huge immersive fan.
00:15:33
Speaker
He's really cool.
00:15:33
Speaker
He's a smart guy.
00:15:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:36
Speaker
Gloomwood.
00:15:37
Speaker
It's a good it's a good game.
00:15:38
Speaker
Good game.
00:15:38
Speaker
Check it out.
00:15:39
Speaker
If people out there in the audience, if you haven't, it's still an early access.
00:15:44
Speaker
Still, they're still adding stuff to it.
00:15:45
Speaker
But it's worth checking out.
00:15:47
Speaker
totally um so uh anyway uh perna offers them a deal they'll go to the store and get food and water for them in return they can take some of the guns and the goons agree but they're gonna keep danny and jinn as leverage yeah womp womp is um what for what's about to happen
00:16:11
Speaker
It's an understatement.
00:16:12
Speaker
Understatement.
00:16:13
Speaker
Womp womp is perhaps putting it very nicely.
00:16:16
Speaker
Very nicely is is what we'll say about that.
00:16:20
Speaker
Sam Perna and may approach the grocery store.
00:16:23
Speaker
They kill some zombies.
00:16:24
Speaker
Who cares?
00:16:25
Speaker
And they go into the staff entrance.
Tragic Scenes and Cultural Stereotypes
00:16:28
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:28
Speaker
Who cares?
00:16:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:30
Speaker
At this point, who cares?
00:16:31
Speaker
They kill some more zombies.
00:16:32
Speaker
Great.
00:16:34
Speaker
They enter the store and find a family who is dead.
00:16:38
Speaker
It looks like the father killed his family and then himself.
00:16:42
Speaker
They're not turned.
00:16:43
Speaker
They're just dead.
00:16:44
Speaker
All shot in the head.
00:16:45
Speaker
Dude, it's a The Mist reference.
00:16:47
Speaker
Whoa.
00:16:49
Speaker
Whoa.
00:16:49
Speaker
Whoa.
00:16:51
Speaker
Man.
00:16:52
Speaker
We're the real monsters, aren't we?
00:16:54
Speaker
We're the real monsters.
00:16:55
Speaker
Yeah.
00:16:56
Speaker
Um...
00:16:56
Speaker
May calls it an act of love, and Sam responds, that don't mean it ain't fucked up.
00:17:03
Speaker
There we go.
00:17:06
Speaker
Perna then takes the guy's gun and bullets, wasting no time.
00:17:10
Speaker
Yep.
00:17:12
Speaker
Just staring at this corpse family like, you know what?
00:17:15
Speaker
Time to take their resources.
00:17:16
Speaker
Check them for loot.
00:17:18
Speaker
Hit the E key.
00:17:19
Speaker
Fuck it.
00:17:21
Speaker
Just that Tom Carty song, loot that body, playing in the background.
00:17:27
Speaker
Sam, why do you know that song?
00:17:28
Speaker
I don't know, man.
00:17:31
Speaker
I'll just do 13 years in the future.
00:17:39
Speaker
That's right.
00:17:40
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:17:43
Speaker
They have a bunch of existential thoughts before they get to the pharmacy.
00:17:47
Speaker
There's no Naldolol or whatever the guy needs, the dying guy who's having a heart attack this entire time on the shelf.
00:17:55
Speaker
But May looks back behind a locked door that she kicks open and finds it.
00:17:59
Speaker
Woo-hoo!
00:18:00
Speaker
Wow.
00:18:02
Speaker
Sam gets attacked.
00:18:03
Speaker
He hits his head on the counter and a zombie bites his wrist.
00:18:08
Speaker
Perna kills the zombie.
00:18:09
Speaker
Fucking...
00:18:11
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:18:12
Speaker
But Sam is a little bit wounded.
00:18:14
Speaker
Good thing to keep reminding us that they're immune.
00:18:17
Speaker
Otherwise, I would have to think back because he just got bit by a zombie.
00:18:22
Speaker
That's when you start knocking some heads off when your buddies start getting bitten.
00:18:27
Speaker
The immunity really takes a lot of the tension out of it, doesn't it?
00:18:30
Speaker
yeah it does you're like you're not worried about these people you're like maybe they get shot but like i don't know they get bit or scratched it's yeah i don't care it's sort of like jack reacher in reacher you are you are never worried about reacher he is just look at him what are they gonna do he is he's he's the largest man in the world yeah i'm going to fist fight you that's the guy you're gonna fist really that guy
00:18:53
Speaker
Have you seen him?
00:18:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:18:54
Speaker
Like the zombies, I'm totally going to go bite these guys.
00:18:56
Speaker
You know, those are the only four guys we can't bite.
00:18:59
Speaker
Right.
00:18:59
Speaker
I bet I can.
00:19:01
Speaker
I bet I can do it.
00:19:03
Speaker
You know how they're everyone.
00:19:05
Speaker
You could destroy 99.9% of bacteria.
00:19:08
Speaker
I'm the one.
00:19:08
Speaker
I'm the point one.
00:19:09
Speaker
I'm the one.
00:19:10
Speaker
I'm getting it.
00:19:11
Speaker
I'm the one.
00:19:12
Speaker
hey hey i'm zombie oh it's italy we're italian zombies now what do you want italian zombies what do you want get some of the gobble ghoul out of that guy slice that up then hey welcome to the gobble podcast italian pixel it ain't no uh every time with my favorite italian jesse garasha uh
00:19:36
Speaker
That's me.
00:19:37
Speaker
That's me.
00:19:40
Speaker
Never do an ancestry, kids.
00:19:41
Speaker
Never get your parents to find out that you're not Italian.
00:19:44
Speaker
Never do it.
00:19:44
Speaker
Just think you're Italian your whole life.
00:19:48
Speaker
It was easier.
00:19:49
Speaker
It was easier.
00:19:52
Speaker
So they patch him up and they grab the food and they go back to the police station.
00:19:58
Speaker
And the door code is no longer working.
00:20:03
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:20:03
Speaker
The bad dudes have changed the access code.
00:20:06
Speaker
I refuse to believe that they knew how to do this or were able to coerce that guy who remembered how to do the reset part.
00:20:13
Speaker
Like, does he know the codes?
00:20:15
Speaker
I'll buy that.
00:20:16
Speaker
Sure.
00:20:17
Speaker
Yeah.
00:20:18
Speaker
I cannot remember how to change the codes on most things that I own and use regularly.
00:20:22
Speaker
You need the manual.
00:20:23
Speaker
There's no way they had the manual.
00:20:26
Speaker
no he didn't have the manual in front of him he couldn't remember it he just installed the shit and set the code he didn't like you know memorize the book memorized memorize the book he's like because on all these things it's like oh you got to press the thing and hold that for five seconds and then you gotta enter in this access code yeah that resets it and then you enter in the code that you want twice and you're like okay um
00:20:52
Speaker
on this time while they're at the store, you know, they're troubleshooting getting the access code.
00:20:56
Speaker
And they actually just changed it.
00:20:58
Speaker
They had just figured it out right before they arrived.
00:21:01
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:03
Speaker
There's a guy on the other side of the door.
00:21:04
Speaker
Who's like, Oh, that was a good time.
00:21:08
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:10
Speaker
Um, so they leave the food at the door and head back to the van.
00:21:14
Speaker
And then the bad guys just start open fire, opening fire on them.
00:21:18
Speaker
Uh, and there's a brief firefight.
00:21:20
Speaker
Um, uh, or, uh, what's his name from food doc scene says there was a fire fight.
00:21:31
Speaker
Um, deep cut.
00:21:34
Speaker
Holy.
00:21:35
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:21:37
Speaker
I haven't thought about that show in forever.
00:21:42
Speaker
No, no, not the boondocks.
00:21:44
Speaker
Boondock Saints.
00:21:45
Speaker
Oh, Boondock Saints.
00:21:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:47
Speaker
The Irish movie.
00:21:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:49
Speaker
With the two Irish guys.
00:21:51
Speaker
Willem Dafoe.
00:21:52
Speaker
Fucking Willem Dafoe.
00:21:53
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:21:54
Speaker
It is a, yeah, still deep cut.
00:21:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:59
Speaker
Either way, either way you cut it.
00:22:01
Speaker
It's deep.
00:22:02
Speaker
Um, so the bad guys are like, ah, we're keeping the food, but you can have this guy back.
00:22:08
Speaker
And they throw Danny out the window head first, killing him.
00:22:13
Speaker
Um, just neck 90 degrees.
00:22:15
Speaker
There's a lot of 90 degree necks in this, uh, just bam, you know, ouch.
00:22:19
Speaker
Um,
00:22:21
Speaker
And they say they are keeping gin, though, for entertainment, which is... And this is when the book takes a turn and really never recovers.
00:22:31
Speaker
Really never recovers.
00:22:33
Speaker
You know, I had to look this up.
00:22:34
Speaker
Apparently, this happens in the game, too.
00:22:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:39
Speaker
So one could say the game never recovers from this moment either.
00:22:43
Speaker
Damn, I had no idea.
00:22:44
Speaker
Wow.
00:22:45
Speaker
Wow.
00:22:46
Speaker
Wow.
00:22:47
Speaker
Brutal.
00:22:47
Speaker
Indeed.
00:22:49
Speaker
I didn't know this because I had skipped all the cut scenes up to this point, but apparently it happens in the game.
00:22:56
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:56
Speaker
All right.
00:22:56
Speaker
Well, I can't blame this guy for staying true to the inspiration.
00:23:02
Speaker
But it is his fault.
00:23:03
Speaker
We'll get to the line that is his fault.
00:23:05
Speaker
Yeah, he does write something that's a little like, man.
00:23:08
Speaker
Man, that is the worst thing that a character's ever said.
00:23:11
Speaker
Anyway, chapter 11, May knows a way that might work for getting into the police station.
00:23:17
Speaker
This is total fucking side quest material right here.
00:23:22
Speaker
So she explains that there is an old sewer system that connected every building in Moresby.
00:23:31
Speaker
At the lowest point of every building, there is an entrance into the sewer system.
00:23:35
Speaker
And then they got rid of that.
00:23:37
Speaker
Well, they didn't get rid of it.
00:23:38
Speaker
They just built a normal sewer system that doesn't do that.
00:23:44
Speaker
And then they but it still might be there.
00:23:48
Speaker
So they're like, let's go back to the grocery store because, you know, the the studio hasn't torn that set down yet.
00:23:58
Speaker
So we could get a few more shots there before Thursday.
00:24:01
Speaker
Yeah, why are we backtracking?
00:24:05
Speaker
We couldn't come up with a new place to go?
00:24:07
Speaker
Like a sewer entrance nearby, maybe?
00:24:11
Speaker
No, we have to go back to the... Okay, sure, whatever.
00:24:14
Speaker
I forgot how much money it costs to write new locations into this.
00:24:18
Speaker
To write new locations into a book.
00:24:19
Speaker
Like...
00:24:21
Speaker
You know what's funny is, so we talked to Alan Dean Foster last year, and we asked him about, what is it, Splinter of the Mind's Eye, which was the original Star Wars sequel book before Empire Strikes Back came out.
00:24:41
Speaker
And it was written by Alan Dean Foster,
00:24:45
Speaker
who was hired by George Lucas, Alan Dean Foster wrote this book because they wanted a book to adapt into a movie in case Star Wars did not make a ton of money.
00:24:59
Speaker
So write this book, make it adaptable into a mid-low budget movie.
00:25:04
Speaker
So Alan Dean Foster wrote this book and he would give the manuscript to George Lucas and Lucas would be like, no, we can't have this space battle.
00:25:13
Speaker
is George Lucas in here right now?
00:25:15
Speaker
That's really good.
00:25:16
Speaker
Anyway, sorry.
00:25:17
Speaker
Go on.
00:25:17
Speaker
We have to cut that.
00:25:18
Speaker
So Alan Dean Foster actually had to remove things from the book that might have been too expensive to make as a movie.
00:25:28
Speaker
Oh, that's funny.
00:25:31
Speaker
That's so funny.
00:25:33
Speaker
But then Star Wars made a bajillion dollars and, you know, they're like, okay, you can use whatever budget you want for Empire Strikes Back.
00:25:40
Speaker
We'll do the fun things.
00:25:42
Speaker
I got to do the ad-ads.
00:25:45
Speaker
Get out of here, George.
00:25:46
Speaker
No one wants to hear you anymore.
00:25:48
Speaker
Shoo, George, shoo.
00:25:49
Speaker
Yeah, come on.
00:25:50
Speaker
You sold them to Star Wars, and now they're doing Mandalorian movies.
00:25:53
Speaker
What did you do?
00:25:55
Speaker
Mandalorian and Grogu.
00:25:56
Speaker
I hope it's good.
00:25:57
Speaker
I really like Grogu.
00:25:59
Speaker
I really like that Grogu.
00:26:00
Speaker
I would have called him something else.
00:26:02
Speaker
Marketing genius.
00:26:03
Speaker
I would have called him Little Yoda.
00:26:08
Speaker
I would have called him Peen Peen.
00:26:10
Speaker
Anyone got a sandwich?
00:26:16
Speaker
Love you, George.
00:26:18
Speaker
Love you, George.
00:26:19
Speaker
You're a billionaire.
00:26:20
Speaker
You can relax now.
00:26:22
Speaker
You can fuck off.
00:26:23
Speaker
All right, all right.
00:26:24
Speaker
You can fuck off.
00:26:25
Speaker
So where are they?
00:26:27
Speaker
They're back at the grocery store.
00:26:29
Speaker
And they're like, where is it?
00:26:30
Speaker
It's in the lowest point.
00:26:31
Speaker
They go into the basement of the warehouse and they find some old shelf parts that are down there and they find a manhole cover and pry that right open and it smells fucking awful.
00:26:44
Speaker
Just terrible.
00:26:45
Speaker
And they shoot their flashlights down there.
00:26:47
Speaker
Doesn't reach the bottom.
00:26:48
Speaker
They go down anyway.
00:26:51
Speaker
And as they're walking through the muck of the sewer, they're counting off exits to make sure they get off at the right exit.
00:26:58
Speaker
What am I?
00:26:59
Speaker
The New Jersey Turnpike?
00:27:00
Speaker
Oh.
00:27:01
Speaker
Oh.
00:27:02
Speaker
Oh.
00:27:04
Speaker
Along the way, they're attacked by a crock.
00:27:08
Speaker
um big old crocodile pops up flush down someone's toilet probably as they all do as a baby you know you can't flush baby crocs down the toilet because they'll grow into crocodiles um they'll also grow into crocodiles if they aren't flushed down the toilet to be sure crocodiles will always grow into well you'd be surprised um
00:27:33
Speaker
I've never seen one grow.
00:27:36
Speaker
It's actually the thing that triggers their Pokemon evolution.
00:27:41
Speaker
For fuck's sake.
00:27:42
Speaker
It's like their stone.
00:27:43
Speaker
You don't need the lightning stone or whatever.
00:27:45
Speaker
They need a toilet.
00:27:46
Speaker
They just need a toilet flush.
00:27:49
Speaker
God, it plays the sound effect and everything.
00:27:52
Speaker
As it's going now.
00:27:53
Speaker
Fuck.
00:27:57
Speaker
Croc is evolving into crocodile.
00:28:05
Speaker
Get the plunger.
00:28:06
Speaker
Perna shoots it right in the fucking face.
00:28:12
Speaker
And they like hurry up the ladder just in case it's not quite dead.
00:28:16
Speaker
At least fucking crocodiles can't use ladders.
00:28:21
Speaker
Yeah, crocodiles can't use ladders.
00:28:23
Speaker
They got the title.
00:28:25
Speaker
Who's thinking that?
00:28:26
Speaker
Is that Sam Bee that's thinking that?
00:28:28
Speaker
Yeah, Sam Bee thinks about how crocodiles can't use ladders.
00:28:31
Speaker
Of course he is.
00:28:32
Speaker
He's such a genius.
00:28:33
Speaker
What a smart man.
00:28:33
Speaker
He's a genius.
00:28:34
Speaker
He's a smart man.
00:28:35
Speaker
Smartest of them all.
00:28:37
Speaker
They're not bears.
00:28:38
Speaker
Bears can use a ladder.
00:28:40
Speaker
A bear will use a ladder.
00:28:41
Speaker
I've seen it, especially if they're on cocaine.
00:28:44
Speaker
Especially if they're on cocaine.
00:28:46
Speaker
How was that movie?
00:28:48
Speaker
Oh, dude.
00:28:48
Speaker
You saw that?
00:28:49
Speaker
You know what?
00:28:50
Speaker
It's the kind of movie that I think you need to see, Tuesday matinee.
00:28:54
Speaker
Make sure you're in a part of a city that has people who don't have any sort of manners.
00:28:59
Speaker
Because it's not the kind of movie you need to see and experience the whole narrative of or become engrossed in.
00:29:04
Speaker
It's like the movie you put on while you're folding your laundry.
00:29:07
Speaker
But if you go and see it in a theater with people who just have no...
00:29:11
Speaker
candor at all they'll just like talk to the movie because that's when you have the most fun watching that kind of crap it's not good but like when you have people in the audience who see a child taking cocaine for the first time and the people in the audience the thing that they decide to say is honey that's too much i think that's the version of the movie that you want to see like they were so concerned that this girl was not that she was taking cocaine that she was taking too much cocaine
00:29:38
Speaker
She could have just knocked the dosage down a little bit and maybe been okay.
00:29:41
Speaker
And that was their concern or like near the end of the movie.
00:29:44
Speaker
Uh, Ray Liotta is like, uh, who's in the movie, by the way, uh,
00:29:49
Speaker
Ray Liotta, rest in peace.
00:29:50
Speaker
Yeah, one of his last performances, Cocaine Bear.
00:29:54
Speaker
I think it's the second last movie he ever starred in.
00:29:57
Speaker
He just shows up again.
00:29:58
Speaker
He was in the start for like five seconds and he's at the end again.
00:30:01
Speaker
And they're like, we're all rooting for the bears at that point.
00:30:04
Speaker
Like just the way the arc of the story goes.
00:30:07
Speaker
And he gets got.
00:30:08
Speaker
And I think the same woman is like...
00:30:10
Speaker
Ray!
00:30:11
Speaker
And I'm like, you shut up!
00:30:13
Speaker
He can't hear you.
00:30:15
Speaker
No, Ray!
00:30:17
Speaker
Like, wait until she finds out what really happened to him.
00:30:19
Speaker
Yeah, and I'm like, sorry to tell you, Ray Liotta is actually dead.
00:30:25
Speaker
That reminds me of when, this is totally unrelated now, we're talking about something more fun.
00:30:30
Speaker
Yeah.
00:30:31
Speaker
When my fiancé, we were watching Sopranos for the first time, we were like maybe on season three, season four, and we're talking about how much we love these characters, how much we love the cast, the actors are really good.
00:30:44
Speaker
She's like, and I think the day that Tony Sirico died, the guy who plays Pauly, she was like, oh, that's really sad.
00:30:51
Speaker
Well, that's okay.
00:30:52
Speaker
At least I could still meet Tony.
00:30:53
Speaker
And I was like, oh, babe.
00:30:54
Speaker
What?
00:30:56
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:30:56
Speaker
I got sad news for you.
00:30:58
Speaker
She's like, is he dead too?
00:30:59
Speaker
And I was like, he's dead as dirt.
00:31:01
Speaker
That man's been dead for a while.
00:31:03
Speaker
Yeah, James Gandolfini died a surprisingly long time ago.
00:31:07
Speaker
14 years ago?
00:31:07
Speaker
Something like that?
00:31:09
Speaker
An uncomfortably long time ago.
00:31:12
Speaker
She was so devastated.
00:31:13
Speaker
It's just so funny when people find out that an actor's dead and they're like...
00:31:16
Speaker
I just saw him on TV and I'm like, yeah, this show came out 20 years ago.
00:31:20
Speaker
He's dead.
00:31:21
Speaker
You know, I mean, like fucking, uh, you should see how young Idris Elba looks in the wire.
00:31:27
Speaker
Like, oh yeah.
00:31:28
Speaker
We watched the first episode of that and I was like, wow, he's such a little baby.
00:31:33
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:31:34
Speaker
Time's a bastard.
00:31:35
Speaker
Uh,
00:31:37
Speaker
It is a bastard.
00:31:40
Speaker
Speaking of The Wire, I mean, also dead, Michael K. Williams.
00:31:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:47
Speaker
And Lance Reddick now, actually.
00:31:49
Speaker
And Lance Reddick.
00:31:50
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:51
Speaker
Andre Brower and Lance Reddick in the same year.
00:31:54
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:55
Speaker
Man.
00:31:56
Speaker
Brutal.
00:31:58
Speaker
Yeah.
00:31:59
Speaker
They always played the stern black cop.
00:32:04
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:32:06
Speaker
That was their, that was a big part of their career.
00:32:09
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:09
Speaker
That was their, well, they had other things, but you know, the cornerstone.
00:32:12
Speaker
You get a little typecast sometimes.
00:32:14
Speaker
It happens.
00:32:14
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:15
Speaker
Sometimes.
00:32:15
Speaker
If you're good at what you do, they'll hire you forever.
00:32:18
Speaker
They'll hire you forever.
00:32:20
Speaker
You know, but you know what?
00:32:23
Speaker
What won't hire you forever is this book.
00:32:26
Speaker
because it keeps going.
00:32:28
Speaker
Fantastic segue.
00:32:29
Speaker
Well done.
00:32:31
Speaker
Yeah, I try them sometimes, you know.
00:32:34
Speaker
Sometimes I segue, sometimes I don't.
00:32:38
Speaker
Speaking of segues, that would have been a great way to get around Moresby as a segue.
00:32:45
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:32:46
Speaker
Yeah.
00:32:47
Speaker
We're really trying to delay talking about what we have to talk about in like three minutes.
00:32:52
Speaker
Yeah, we gotta talk about it though.
00:32:53
Speaker
Yeah, we do.
00:32:54
Speaker
We gotta talk about it.
00:32:57
Speaker
So Sam climbs to the top of the ladder and it's a, he's like, ah, I gotta push this thing up.
00:33:03
Speaker
I don't think I'm going to be able to push it up.
00:33:05
Speaker
And he spends like a page talking about how he might not be able to push it up.
00:33:08
Speaker
And then he is able to push it up because it's just a wooden trap door and not a manhole cover.
00:33:15
Speaker
Um,
00:33:17
Speaker
I was falling asleep at this point.
00:33:18
Speaker
I think I literally, this is the point where I was like, I got to go to bed.
00:33:22
Speaker
I can't do it anymore.
00:33:22
Speaker
It's nap time.
00:33:23
Speaker
It's sleep time.
00:33:25
Speaker
It's 11 o'clock at night and I'm, uh, I'm, I'm tired.
00:33:29
Speaker
Um, so they, uh, they get up there and, uh, they're, they're find themselves in a janitor's closet.
00:33:37
Speaker
Uh, fucking Ahti from control is standing there.
00:33:42
Speaker
Um,
00:33:45
Speaker
Yep.
00:33:46
Speaker
What are you doing there?
00:33:51
Speaker
He's speaking Finnish.
00:33:52
Speaker
I'm like, I didn't know there was anyone from Finland in this game.
00:33:54
Speaker
It's crazy.
00:33:57
Speaker
Archie goes through the door.
00:33:58
Speaker
He disappears.
00:33:59
Speaker
Fucking wild.
00:34:00
Speaker
That would have made this a more interesting story.
00:34:02
Speaker
Oh, totally.
00:34:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:34:03
Speaker
But that's just too high level for this Dead Island story.
00:34:07
Speaker
We have deeper, lower level stuff to talk about.
00:34:11
Speaker
Yeah, we're getting to the bottom of this.
00:34:13
Speaker
They're in the police station and they walk around.
00:34:16
Speaker
Perna sees the guys.
00:34:18
Speaker
They're playing a card game.
00:34:19
Speaker
Jin is looking a lot worse for wear sitting on the couch.
00:34:23
Speaker
Perna draws up a little plan.
00:34:24
Speaker
They set off to rescue Jin.
00:34:26
Speaker
The plan is basically just fucking shoot them.
00:34:29
Speaker
Like it's good plan.
00:34:31
Speaker
It's they just they just surprise surprise motherfucker and shoot all of them.
00:34:38
Speaker
Two guys dead right off the bat.
00:34:39
Speaker
The third guy is wounded with a gut shot.
00:34:42
Speaker
And he's like, ah, you got to help me.
00:34:44
Speaker
You got to take me with you.
00:34:47
Speaker
Meanwhile, May is consoling Jin because Jin is all sorts of messed up.
00:34:51
Speaker
And we'll find out soon why that is.
00:34:55
Speaker
Perna is about to shoot the guy and then Sam says, no, it's his turn to do this.
00:35:01
Speaker
And then he takes from the gun from her killing the bad guy.
00:35:06
Speaker
I guess that's a reference to when Perna killed that snapped that woman's neck in one of the early earlier chapters.
00:35:13
Speaker
Yeah, I guess that is what that is.
00:35:16
Speaker
They just shot two guys.
00:35:17
Speaker
Like, I don't know why it becomes a dramatic moment for this other guy.
00:35:24
Speaker
I don't question it anymore, man.
00:35:25
Speaker
Sometimes things just need to be drawn out for some reason.
00:35:28
Speaker
Just some things get four paragraphs.
00:35:29
Speaker
Some things get one.
00:35:31
Speaker
Sure.
00:35:32
Speaker
Or none, because suddenly they're back at the lifeguard station.
00:35:35
Speaker
Yep.
00:35:36
Speaker
They just teleported.
00:35:37
Speaker
They just fast traveled all the way back.
00:35:39
Speaker
Holy shit.
00:35:41
Speaker
One fast travel loading screen later, they're back at the lifeguard station and Logan.
00:35:46
Speaker
Oh, oh boy.
00:35:47
Speaker
Logan is back in the story.
00:35:51
Speaker
Woohoo.
00:35:51
Speaker
Yeah.
00:35:52
Speaker
They catch Logan up on everything and they, they introduced Jin to him and Logan is this old Logan wise
Handling Sensitive Moments in the Book
00:36:00
Speaker
crack himself.
00:36:00
Speaker
He's like, ah, why don't you talk too much?
00:36:03
Speaker
And then Jin mentions, and this is the content warning part.
00:36:09
Speaker
So jump ahead, bunch of 30 seconds things or whatever if you don't want to hear.
00:36:14
Speaker
Jin mentions that she had been held by the guys and raped and beaten by the three men over and over and over again.
00:36:27
Speaker
Yeah.
00:36:27
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:36:30
Speaker
This book has not earned doing this.
00:36:33
Speaker
The game didn't earn doing this apparently either.
00:36:38
Speaker
But I think the thing that makes it worse here is that it's like, I don't know, did you watch this?
00:36:43
Speaker
Does this cutscene happen where she kind of explains her emotional state and there's another conversation happening around it?
00:36:52
Speaker
No, I looked through the synopsis on Wikipedia.
00:36:57
Speaker
I didn't actually watch it.
00:36:58
Speaker
But apparently in the game, the difference between the book and the game is Sam, I believe Sam B is angry with her for something in this.
00:37:12
Speaker
Okay.
00:37:12
Speaker
So, yeah.
00:37:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:15
Speaker
I mean, doesn't improve anything with what's happening here.
00:37:17
Speaker
No, it makes it worse in some ways.
00:37:19
Speaker
When she brings it up, it's midst of it's missed another story, right?
00:37:22
Speaker
Somebody's talking about something else.
00:37:24
Speaker
Logan or Sam.
00:37:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:26
Speaker
So they get Sam is telling Logan the story of how they met Jin.
00:37:30
Speaker
And then he goes, I was wondering when they were going to get to you.
00:37:33
Speaker
Why are you so quiet?
00:37:34
Speaker
Ha ha ha.
00:37:35
Speaker
And then Jin tells him what happened and Logan shuts the fuck up.
00:37:41
Speaker
Yeah.
00:37:42
Speaker
But then immediately after that, Sam, who was in the middle of his story.
00:37:49
Speaker
So she has her like her little speech where she explains what happened to her, which is like obviously gut wrenching.
00:37:53
Speaker
And I think the reader is just so stunned that this just happened in the middle of this story.
00:38:00
Speaker
And then two dialogue exchanges happen.
00:38:05
Speaker
Logan's a little messed up about it.
00:38:07
Speaker
Sam grimaced and carried on with his story, his voice a low rumble.
00:38:13
Speaker
Like, maybe we have more important things.
00:38:17
Speaker
to deal with.
00:38:18
Speaker
Maybe we can skip the rest of it, you know?
00:38:20
Speaker
Yeah.
00:38:20
Speaker
Maybe I don't need to hear the rest of Sam's story.
00:38:22
Speaker
Maybe Sam doesn't need to tell the rest of the story.
00:38:24
Speaker
You know, maybe we can like sit in this moment and let this awful thing happen.
00:38:28
Speaker
We have 200 almost more pages of this book.
00:38:32
Speaker
It's okay if we don't spend three of them describing how a zombie explodes when it's hit by a rake or something.
00:38:39
Speaker
We can like sit and like deal with this.
00:38:41
Speaker
We can earn this moment instead of just, and then it's even worse because it's like, what is it?
00:38:46
Speaker
Two pages later?
00:38:47
Speaker
No, how many more pages do we?
00:38:49
Speaker
It's like 10.
00:38:51
Speaker
Yeah, but not even 10.
00:38:52
Speaker
Where we get to the worst thing ever.
00:38:54
Speaker
Where we get to the worst line I've ever read in a book, period, of all of the books that have ever been written.
00:38:59
Speaker
Like, man, yeah, this was so disrespectful and gross when I read this.
00:39:04
Speaker
I was like so upset.
00:39:06
Speaker
I turned to Cassie and I'm like, I cannot believe, I cannot believe this book is trying to do this and thinks it's getting away with it.
00:39:13
Speaker
Yeah, it's not.
00:39:17
Speaker
It cannot pull this off.
00:39:18
Speaker
No.
00:39:19
Speaker
So Logan, then it's his turn to talk.
00:39:23
Speaker
Talks about how the mystery man has been in touch a few times, but the connection was bad.
00:39:28
Speaker
And then he's going to call back soon.
00:39:31
Speaker
And then just then he does.
00:39:34
Speaker
Um, so, you know, they're, they're talking to him and Perna asks him a question and the dude does it again, where he, he takes like half a page talk about how he doesn't have time.
00:39:49
Speaker
It's so frustrating.
00:39:50
Speaker
It's like you've got, you know, like, just, just shut up, just shut up and just talk over them.
00:39:55
Speaker
It's okay.
00:39:55
Speaker
It's just, they can still hear you.
00:39:57
Speaker
It's not the same thing as like a discord call where you're talking and like it mutes something.
00:40:02
Speaker
It's just keep talking.
00:40:03
Speaker
They'll hear you.
00:40:04
Speaker
Just keep talking.
00:40:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:07
Speaker
So Perna tells him to fuck off and answer the question.
00:40:10
Speaker
And then the guy finally gives his full lore dump.
00:40:14
Speaker
His name is his name is Ryder White.
00:40:17
Speaker
He's a colonel with the Banoy Island Defense Force.
00:40:21
Speaker
He wants to get a vaccine for his wife who has been bitten.
00:40:24
Speaker
And he thinks the immunity that the gang has might help make one.
00:40:29
Speaker
And then he asked them to go meet Moen in the town that's in the jungle.
00:40:35
Speaker
And Moen knows how to get past the minefield that blocks the prison from everything else.
00:40:43
Speaker
So...
00:40:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:40:47
Speaker
Great.
00:40:47
Speaker
Chapter 13.
00:40:49
Speaker
Keep rocking.
00:40:50
Speaker
Logan gets the full experience of the city as they drive by for the first time.
00:40:55
Speaker
They have to get through the pack of zombies and they all take out their automatic weapons and they begin cutting swaths through the pack.
00:41:04
Speaker
And after they get through it, Logan is shaking, crying, throwing up in the corner.
00:41:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:41:10
Speaker
He's a little bitch boy.
00:41:11
Speaker
I used to think shooting zombies would be fun, but this is fucking grim, man.
00:41:16
Speaker
Shut up.
00:41:17
Speaker
Shut up, Logan, you loser.
00:41:20
Speaker
Fucking loser.
00:41:21
Speaker
Sam falls asleep for two hours on the car ride there.
00:41:26
Speaker
The village is one of those ramshackle types with the walls made of mud on the houses and the roofs made of leaves.
00:41:34
Speaker
And they decide to find Moen by asking at the building that is labeled store.
00:41:39
Speaker
And the sign says, we sell Coca-Cola.
00:41:45
Speaker
Some of that, that's one of the things where I'm like, I don't know, maybe, maybe Mark played the game a little bit and just walked around and that's just some boring, like, you know, flavor text in the world.
00:41:54
Speaker
I believe it.
00:41:55
Speaker
Sure.
00:41:55
Speaker
Yeah, sure.
00:41:57
Speaker
Why not?
00:41:58
Speaker
And then as they get out of the van, Logan says the worst thing in the history of books, referencing how the townsfolk are looking at them.
00:42:09
Speaker
Another content warning for this in chapter 13.
00:42:14
Speaker
I'm looking it up.
00:42:17
Speaker
I didn't write it in my notes.
00:42:19
Speaker
I was like, my notes don't deserve to have this line written word for word.
00:42:23
Speaker
Yeah, I don't blame you.
00:42:26
Speaker
So I'm just... Just to recontextualize this, this line happens...
00:42:31
Speaker
I don't know, in the story, two hours, maybe in the book, 10 pages after we just heard a girl describe, sorry, a woman describe her being violently sexually assaulted by three men as she was left by this group of people that she just met.
00:42:48
Speaker
Not long after losing her father.
00:42:50
Speaker
This is what one of the characters, the most gruesome, gross man in the whole group.
00:42:56
Speaker
This is what he says.
00:42:58
Speaker
Logan sidles up to Sam.
00:43:01
Speaker
And says, hey, man, ever feel like a virgin at a rapist convention?
00:43:08
Speaker
Un-fucking-believable.
00:43:10
Speaker
I closed the book, and I was like, I will come back to this later.
00:43:14
Speaker
Like, when I feel emotionally prepared to have to not want this character to die.
00:43:19
Speaker
Like, I cannot believe that that's some shit that was written in a Dead Island book.
00:43:26
Speaker
Dead Island, the video game.
00:43:28
Speaker
The video game about smashing zombie heads in has the most edgelordiest line.
00:43:37
Speaker
And you just, no one says that.
00:43:38
Speaker
That's not like a thing.
00:43:39
Speaker
It's not a thing.
00:43:40
Speaker
Like it's not like a saying.
00:43:44
Speaker
Sam's response is hush up.
00:43:47
Speaker
Not even a shut the fuck up or anything more.
00:43:50
Speaker
Just a hush up.
00:43:51
Speaker
Just like what a nice black grandma says when you say something out of turn at a funeral or something.
00:43:57
Speaker
Like, oh, he was a jerk.
00:43:59
Speaker
Man, hush up, boy.
00:44:01
Speaker
That's Sam's response to that line.
00:44:04
Speaker
I would have just shot him.
00:44:06
Speaker
Get it over with.
00:44:06
Speaker
What do we need this guy for?
00:44:07
Speaker
He's scared of shooting zombies and he's a piece of shit.
00:44:13
Speaker
And then Logan responds, sorry, man, I forgot.
00:44:21
Speaker
I already gave the context.
00:44:22
Speaker
This was not that long ago.
00:44:24
Speaker
Like, this wasn't like three weeks past.
00:44:26
Speaker
Like, this was like two hours ago, maybe.
00:44:29
Speaker
Just happened.
00:44:31
Speaker
I don't know.
00:44:31
Speaker
Yeah.
00:44:33
Speaker
I forgot.
00:44:34
Speaker
Two hours ago?
00:44:36
Speaker
Yeah, I don't know.
00:44:36
Speaker
She started talking and I just turned my ears off, man.
00:44:39
Speaker
Sorry.
00:44:40
Speaker
Sorry about that.
00:44:41
Speaker
Yeah, bro.
00:44:42
Speaker
I guess maybe this is an accurate representation of the character.
00:44:45
Speaker
You know, I tried to rationalize this.
00:44:48
Speaker
I was like, Logan, who went to college and played football and was a jerk and like...
00:44:54
Speaker
you know, killed a girl in a car.
00:44:56
Speaker
And the worst thing that came of that scenario was him losing his knee.
00:45:00
Speaker
How would that guy react to the story that he just heard?
00:45:03
Speaker
Yeah, he probably would make a joke about it like that.
00:45:05
Speaker
But also, I have to read that in a book called Dead Island.
00:45:11
Speaker
I don't care what the rationalization is.
00:45:13
Speaker
This is not the story where you do that or tell that joke.
00:45:18
Speaker
Right.
00:45:20
Speaker
Don't need it.
00:45:20
Speaker
Unbelievable.
00:45:21
Speaker
Unbelievable.
00:45:23
Speaker
It is the worst single line of dialogue that I have read for this show.
00:45:39
Speaker
Yeah.
00:45:39
Speaker
Period.
00:45:40
Speaker
I believe it.
00:45:40
Speaker
Single worst.
00:45:44
Speaker
We're going to have our three-year anniversary in June.
00:45:49
Speaker
And that was, I don't even think there's anything close.
00:45:53
Speaker
Here's the thing.
00:45:54
Speaker
There's nothing that even, I will always remember that line.
00:45:58
Speaker
There's nothing that even like sticks that is that bad.
00:46:03
Speaker
You know?
00:46:04
Speaker
Yeah, absolutely.
00:46:06
Speaker
From three years of reading video game novelizations, that line is the worst.
00:46:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:14
Speaker
Just unbearable.
00:46:16
Speaker
Unbearable.
00:46:17
Speaker
So...
00:46:19
Speaker
If you skipped that whole section and you're just coming back, welcome.
00:46:24
Speaker
Thank you for coming back to the show.
00:46:29
Speaker
It's... Good call, personally.
00:46:32
Speaker
You probably... Good call.
00:46:33
Speaker
You probably did the right thing.
00:46:35
Speaker
So they asked the guy...
00:46:37
Speaker
Behind the counter, they go to the store, they ask the guy behind the counter if they've seen Moen.
00:46:41
Speaker
He doesn't speak English.
00:46:42
Speaker
And then Jin steps up.
00:46:44
Speaker
She happens to speak the language of the townsfolk and asks, hey, can you find Moen?
00:46:51
Speaker
And then that guy tells ostensibly his son to go find Moen.
00:46:57
Speaker
And Jin thanks them.
00:46:58
Speaker
They're going to wait outside for Moen.
00:47:01
Speaker
Buy it for looks, buy it for life.
00:47:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:47:09
Speaker
Sorry, I'm still coming down off of what we just went through.
00:47:11
Speaker
It's like we have to try to lighten it up a little bit.
00:47:14
Speaker
I know.
00:47:16
Speaker
I made a joke about kitchen faucets, you know?
00:47:23
Speaker
That works.
00:47:24
Speaker
That works.
00:47:25
Speaker
Uh, Moen arrives and tells them that everyone is staring at them because they think the group is cursed probably because they are covered in blood and chunks of zombie guts.
00:47:36
Speaker
Uh, Moen mentions that instead of going to the prison, maybe they should head to the lab that he thinks is where the virus originated.
00:47:43
Speaker
It's deeper in the jungle.
00:47:45
Speaker
And then they call up, uh, Ryder white.
00:47:47
Speaker
And he's like, yeah, sure.
00:47:48
Speaker
Sounds like a plan.
00:47:50
Speaker
Um,
00:47:51
Speaker
Chapter 14, last chapter we'll cover tonight.
00:47:54
Speaker
They take Moen's boat through the waterways.
00:47:57
Speaker
It's Sam, Perna, and Logan are with him while May is staying back with Jin back at the town.
00:48:03
Speaker
And while they're on the boat, Moen just fires his gun randomly.
00:48:07
Speaker
He's like, why are you firing at these logs?
00:48:10
Speaker
And he's like, oh, no, they're crocodiles.
00:48:12
Speaker
I like to keep them scared.
00:48:13
Speaker
I think it would be funnier if they were just fucking logs.
00:48:16
Speaker
Like, they aren't actually crocodiles.
00:48:18
Speaker
He just never figured it out.
00:48:19
Speaker
He's like, they're just really good fakes.
00:48:21
Speaker
I don't know.
00:48:22
Speaker
Really good fakes.
00:48:23
Speaker
Yeah.
00:48:24
Speaker
So the journey takes three hours.
00:48:27
Speaker
They get off the boat and they take another hour to walk to the lab and they have some.
00:48:32
Speaker
So at this point in the book,
00:48:35
Speaker
just to follow up, you know, on the discussion we were having earlier about Logan and the shit that comes out of his mouth, there is an interlude here about how Sam and Perna have realized that Logan is a good and likable travel companion.
00:48:52
Speaker
Yep.
00:48:53
Speaker
They say that.
00:48:53
Speaker
They said that and they really meant it.
00:48:56
Speaker
They really genuinely believe that.
00:48:58
Speaker
And we're lying.
00:49:00
Speaker
All it does is make me like Sam and Perna-less.
00:49:03
Speaker
Yeah.
00:49:04
Speaker
I don't know how... Again, if you skipped that section where we talked about what Logan said, good call, but he said some horrendous shit.
00:49:13
Speaker
He made a joke that was in such poor taste that potentially I might rip the page that it exists on out of the Kindle download that I got for this book.
00:49:24
Speaker
I will figure out a way to remove it from Amazon servers.
00:49:27
Speaker
It's so bad.
00:49:29
Speaker
And they're like, yeah, I'm
00:49:31
Speaker
This guy's pretty chill.
00:49:32
Speaker
I don't know.
00:49:32
Speaker
Hasn't said anything fucked up in the last four hours, so we'll keep him around.
00:49:36
Speaker
Like, no.
00:49:38
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:49:39
Speaker
Just acknowledge that he sucks, at least.
00:49:41
Speaker
Like, say, at least if they were like, yeah, he's just a messed up stuff and is not very useful at fighting, but he... I like him.
00:49:51
Speaker
For some reason.
00:49:54
Speaker
Do you?
00:49:54
Speaker
Really?
00:49:55
Speaker
He's just got a vibe to him, you know?
00:49:57
Speaker
He's just there.
00:49:59
Speaker
Something...
00:50:00
Speaker
about him like he's just there he's in the game is the feeling he's in the game he's in the game and that's he's in the game that's what we like about him is he is here uh my note around that after that was don't know about that one chief um yeah
00:50:20
Speaker
Uh, they get to the facility.
00:50:22
Speaker
There's a lot of guards around it.
00:50:24
Speaker
Uh, real umbrella situation.
00:50:26
Speaker
Uh, Moen goes to talk about, talk to the, uh, the mustachioed guard for a bit.
00:50:31
Speaker
Uh, and then they're let in, but, uh, the guards want them to give up their weapons.
00:50:37
Speaker
The gang won't give up their weapons and they're allowed to, in the end, they're allowed to keep them as long as they keep them on their backs.
00:50:43
Speaker
um while they're walking through the hallways logan thinks about his favorite movie the thing john carpenter's the thing and i'm like god damn it you had to associate logan with my favorite movie of all time you had to they're they're together now yep out there in the universe the worst guy you've ever met says the correct thing like says what yes unfortunately heartbreaking
00:51:12
Speaker
I can't believe I could never watch the thing again.
00:51:14
Speaker
You know, I've never actually seen John Carpenter's The Thing.
00:51:17
Speaker
You should.
00:51:18
Speaker
You should.
00:51:19
Speaker
Is it the greatest film ever made?
00:51:22
Speaker
It is.
00:51:22
Speaker
Yeah?
00:51:22
Speaker
Could be.
00:51:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:24
Speaker
It's got Kurt Russell.
00:51:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:26
Speaker
Really Kurt.
00:51:27
Speaker
He's really Kurt Russell-ing around in this.
00:51:28
Speaker
I've seen screen caps.
00:51:29
Speaker
He looks pretty hot.
00:51:30
Speaker
He's he's fucking Kurt Russell.
00:51:32
Speaker
And he's like he's got you know, he's got the lighting on.
00:51:35
Speaker
He's he like invented the by lighting for for this movie.
00:51:40
Speaker
He's got the mane.
00:51:41
Speaker
He's got the he's got the mane hair.
00:51:43
Speaker
Beautiful.
00:51:45
Speaker
A lot of, and you know what?
00:51:48
Speaker
Wilford Brimley's in it.
00:51:49
Speaker
And we talked about Wilford Brimley.
00:51:51
Speaker
Oh, dude.
00:51:51
Speaker
Diabetes guy.
00:51:52
Speaker
Wait, he's in a movie.
00:51:53
Speaker
So, okay.
00:51:54
Speaker
So obviously I'm a lot younger than you.
00:51:56
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:57
Speaker
But like, so, so cultural stuff like that.
00:51:59
Speaker
I don't really, Wilford Brimley to me is literally just diabetes commercials and family guy references.
00:52:03
Speaker
Is he an actor?
00:52:04
Speaker
Was he in movies?
00:52:05
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:07
Speaker
Yeah.
00:52:08
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:08
Speaker
There are movies you can see with Wilford Brimley as an actor.
00:52:14
Speaker
Wilford Brimley in The Thing has no facial hair.
00:52:19
Speaker
Whoa.
00:52:21
Speaker
Did he have diabetes there, you think?
00:52:24
Speaker
Probably.
00:52:25
Speaker
He's looking at a pretty rough... Let's see.
00:52:29
Speaker
How old was he?
00:52:30
Speaker
It was 1981, I want to say.
00:52:33
Speaker
1982.
00:52:33
Speaker
And Wilfred Brillimely was born in 34.
00:52:38
Speaker
Holy shit.
00:52:42
Speaker
How was he... He was only like... Wait.
00:52:48
Speaker
How old was he?
00:52:53
Speaker
82 minus 34 is he was 48.
00:52:57
Speaker
He was a rough looking 48.
00:52:59
Speaker
Yeah.
00:53:01
Speaker
Wow.
00:53:04
Speaker
You ever see those old timey pictures where it's like, like this man's 20 and he looks like 60.
00:53:11
Speaker
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:14
Speaker
Or like Morgan Freeman's always been like 80 in my head.
00:53:17
Speaker
Yeah, he's been 80 for a long time.
00:53:19
Speaker
Him and Michael Caine.
00:53:20
Speaker
Michael Caine.
00:53:22
Speaker
Michael Caine.
00:53:24
Speaker
Some men just want to watch the world burn.
00:53:26
Speaker
That was more Sean Connery.
00:53:27
Speaker
It was good, though.
00:53:28
Speaker
That was a little too Sean.
00:53:32
Speaker
Yeah, he was in an episode of Seinfeld 2.
00:53:37
Speaker
A lot of his movies are...
00:53:41
Speaker
right he's in the male one uh where they they go to um oh yeah okay all right i have seen him before in in as an actor okay cool yeah yeah uh he plays blair dr blair in the thing um and he's he he is so not wilford like there are so many good moments with just like just with him in that movie uh
00:54:05
Speaker
So it's a real all-star cast and crew.
00:54:11
Speaker
The president from fucking Clear and Present Danger.
00:54:14
Speaker
Really?
00:54:18
Speaker
Dude, okay, I've never looked at the full cast for this movie.
00:54:21
Speaker
Yeah, you'll recognize a few of them.
00:54:24
Speaker
And if you don't recognize their names, you'll like see, watch the movie.
00:54:28
Speaker
Oh yeah, Keith David is like the second main, second cast guy or whatever.
00:54:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:36
Speaker
I might watch this tonight.
00:54:38
Speaker
Yeah, put it on, you know?
00:54:40
Speaker
All right.
00:54:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:42
Speaker
We got something good out of this.
00:54:44
Speaker
It all worked out.
00:54:44
Speaker
We got something good out of it.
00:54:48
Speaker
Yeah.
00:54:50
Speaker
And Adrienne Barbeau is the voice of the only woman in the movie is the voice of an 80s movie.
00:54:57
Speaker
Sounds like an 80s movie.
00:55:01
Speaker
So speaking of 80s movies, they meet Dr. West, which is a that's a reanimator reference right there.
00:55:11
Speaker
I mean, sure, it's reanimator was written by fucking Lovecraft.
00:55:15
Speaker
But I'm talking about the movie.
00:55:18
Speaker
It's fine.
00:55:19
Speaker
It's fine.
00:55:20
Speaker
It's fine.
00:55:21
Speaker
The movie came out in the 80s.
00:55:22
Speaker
Anyway, West is doing some terrible things to animals, including vivisection.
00:55:28
Speaker
If you don't know what vivisection is, don't look it up and not even going to get into it.
00:55:36
Speaker
He's worried for a second that the group is is animal rights activists, but then breathes a sigh of relief when he finds out that they don't give a shit.
00:55:43
Speaker
Speaking of vivisection, by the way, I know you don't want to talk about it, but go for it.
00:55:49
Speaker
You know what?
00:55:50
Speaker
The only reason I want to talk about it briefly is because when I was in elementary school, I know, right?
00:55:56
Speaker
Elementary school.
00:55:57
Speaker
There was this field trip that we went on to the Ontario Science Center, which was like this big collection of science stuff.
00:56:03
Speaker
Can you believe it?
00:56:04
Speaker
It was the center for it, in fact.
00:56:06
Speaker
And they had a vivisection of a human being on display in the human body exhibit.
00:56:14
Speaker
And you could just see, and they had the nerves all splayed out.
00:56:17
Speaker
And I was like, God...
00:56:18
Speaker
That's what I look like on the inside.
00:56:21
Speaker
But I was like maybe 10 or 11 years old.
00:56:23
Speaker
Why am I seeing this?
00:56:26
Speaker
Okay, sure.
00:56:27
Speaker
We're all just bags of meat.
00:56:29
Speaker
That's what I learned as a child.
00:56:30
Speaker
Bags, sacks of meat and jelly with some crunchy, crunchy bones in there, too.
00:56:39
Speaker
Good bones.
00:56:39
Speaker
Good bones.
00:56:40
Speaker
You throw those bones into a pot, a few potatoes, some carrots.
00:56:46
Speaker
A little human stew?
00:56:47
Speaker
All right.
00:56:50
Speaker
I like where your brain's going.
00:56:52
Speaker
You got a stew going, baby.
00:56:56
Speaker
So West denies creating the virus, and he also didn't know that it had, like, expanded beyond where it's from.
00:57:06
Speaker
He gives the backstory of the virus.
00:57:08
Speaker
It's from a local tribe of cannibals called the Kurooni, and the virus had lasted a long time within the tribe, but people are mostly immune to it within the tribe.
00:57:19
Speaker
something about the virus had changed recently and let me tell you when you find out it is the it is it is number two the number two worst thing actually could be tied for the worst thing to happen in the book the information we get from that that is fucking gross but we'll talk about that next episode yeah
00:57:46
Speaker
God.
00:57:46
Speaker
Anyway, that's also in the game, by the way.
00:57:50
Speaker
Yeah, I thought it wasn't.
00:57:52
Speaker
I had to look it up.
00:57:53
Speaker
I was like, is this really from the no?
00:57:54
Speaker
Yeah, that one was definitely the next one that's coming up is definitely from the maybe Dead Island should have never gotten a sequel.
00:58:01
Speaker
And maybe the dev should have like not done this.
00:58:07
Speaker
Maybe, you know, it really makes me like,
00:58:13
Speaker
I'm like ashamed of liking Dying Light now.
00:58:16
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:17
Speaker
I feel exactly the same.
00:58:19
Speaker
I love Dying Light 1.
00:58:20
Speaker
I think that game's amazing.
00:58:21
Speaker
Dying Light 2 is a lot of fun as well.
00:58:23
Speaker
And I've heard Dead Island 2.
00:58:24
Speaker
You've said it's fine.
00:58:25
Speaker
And I've heard it's pretty good.
00:58:27
Speaker
It's got Dying Light vibes.
00:58:29
Speaker
But now I'm like, I don't know if I ever want to play any of those games.
00:58:33
Speaker
I don't know.
00:58:33
Speaker
I don't want to find out that there's more of this in those games somewhere hidden.
00:58:38
Speaker
And I just find out 20 years later when I read the novelization for this podcast that
00:58:42
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:43
Speaker
Uh, I was considering putting the novelization for dying light on, on the show sometime this year.
00:58:48
Speaker
I'm rethinking it.
00:58:50
Speaker
Uh, maybe not.
00:58:51
Speaker
Yeah, maybe not.
00:58:52
Speaker
Maybe not.
00:58:53
Speaker
Might go for some lighter fare.
00:58:55
Speaker
Um, like a King's quest novelization.
00:58:58
Speaker
Oh, that sounds nice.
00:59:00
Speaker
That sounds like a lovely little romp.
00:59:03
Speaker
Um,
00:59:04
Speaker
So cannibals, huh?
00:59:06
Speaker
All right.
00:59:08
Speaker
No way this is going to be racist.
00:59:09
Speaker
Something...
00:59:16
Speaker
So far, all I've learned about this book is you can make anything racist if you try hard enough.
00:59:20
Speaker
If you try hard enough.
00:59:23
Speaker
You know, I'm surprised it didn't have some of that old white European racism.
00:59:28
Speaker
I was surprised that there weren't a line about Sicilians in here or something.
00:59:34
Speaker
Jesus.
00:59:36
Speaker
Oh, those Irish.
00:59:38
Speaker
You know?
00:59:39
Speaker
Those fucking Irish, you know?
00:59:40
Speaker
Like just an English character talking about the Irish.
00:59:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:59:45
Speaker
Well, they're at the hotel.
00:59:46
Speaker
Oh, I had to go.
00:59:46
Speaker
I had to come to Hanoi.
00:59:47
Speaker
I didn't want to stay on the island and hang out with those Irish.
00:59:51
Speaker
Too many Irish came over recently.
00:59:55
Speaker
Well, this guy's Welsh, right?
00:59:57
Speaker
Maybe he's down with the Irish.
00:59:59
Speaker
He's Welsh.
01:00:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think.
01:00:03
Speaker
Anyway, West believes that the virus is similar to Kuru, which is a prion disease that affects the brain similar in how mad cow works.
01:00:14
Speaker
And I was like, all right, that's some decent science stuff in there.
01:00:20
Speaker
So mad cow disease is a prion disease that cows get from eating cow brain.
01:00:27
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:28
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:29
Speaker
I know of the disease.
01:00:30
Speaker
I didn't know how it was transferred.
01:00:31
Speaker
Because, like, that shit is so bad.
01:00:34
Speaker
I imagine, like, part of that is probably research.
01:00:36
Speaker
But I was really, really bad in the UK, mad cow disease, the spread of it.
01:00:41
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:42
Speaker
So you probably just nose that offhand from what it happened.
01:00:44
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:44
Speaker
Right.
Science and Gaming Experiences
01:00:52
Speaker
If they do surgery on you, everything that touched you or your brain goes in the garbage.
01:00:58
Speaker
They get rid of that forever because that shit does not.
01:01:00
Speaker
You cannot kill it and it will kill you if you get it like wild, scary stuff.
01:01:05
Speaker
Brian's I remember reading something on Reddit.
01:01:09
Speaker
It was like a list of like, what's something terrifying that not enough people talk about?
01:01:14
Speaker
And it was one of it was like 10 people mentioned prions and like,
01:01:19
Speaker
And I was like, oh, this sounds terrible.
01:01:22
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:23
Speaker
It's like your body stops knowing how to work protein, basically.
01:01:31
Speaker
So West gives them a fetch quest.
01:01:35
Speaker
He needs the blood of a Karuni villager and a version of the virus from a dead body, a stable version of the virus from a dead body within the last two years.
01:01:44
Speaker
Uh, and guess what?
01:01:46
Speaker
Even though the doctor knows the Karuni people and probably knows how to speak their language, maybe he's going to send the gang to go get this stuff and quest start.
01:01:55
Speaker
Yeah.
01:01:56
Speaker
Luckily they don't need to get blood.
01:01:57
Speaker
It can just be any DNA sample.
01:01:59
Speaker
So that's nice.
01:02:00
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:01
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:01
Speaker
Yeah.
01:02:02
Speaker
They just need, yeah.
01:02:04
Speaker
Easy quest.
01:02:05
Speaker
Just slice off a sliver.
01:02:07
Speaker
Low drop rate.
01:02:08
Speaker
Doesn't matter.
01:02:09
Speaker
Or high drop rate.
01:02:10
Speaker
Actually anything that they drop.
01:02:11
Speaker
You don't need like some one percenter.
01:02:12
Speaker
You're lucky.
01:02:13
Speaker
You're in good.
01:02:14
Speaker
you're good hands it can be a common you know it doesn't need to be a rare the loot table pretty solid for this quest i feel like yeah um yeah so uh i don't know if we need to recap any of that uh how we're feeling about any of that i think we made ourselves pretty clear so jesse uh what are you playing
01:02:39
Speaker
Moving right on.
01:02:40
Speaker
Fuck it.
01:02:40
Speaker
Yeah, just never mind.
01:02:41
Speaker
Normally we'll talk about the book some more.
01:02:43
Speaker
Not interested.
01:02:44
Speaker
Like how we're feeling.
01:02:45
Speaker
I'm not doing that with this book.
01:02:47
Speaker
Nope.
01:02:48
Speaker
It's, uh, at this point it almost feels like an obligation.
01:02:51
Speaker
It's just so, so, I was fucking checked out, man.
01:02:55
Speaker
We'll see if I even, we'll see if I even have notes for the next episode.
01:02:59
Speaker
I just...
01:03:01
Speaker
And then the book was over.
01:03:03
Speaker
What are you playing?
01:03:04
Speaker
That'll be the next episode.
01:03:05
Speaker
Next episode will just be what are you playing for an hour.
01:03:09
Speaker
So what have I been playing?
01:03:12
Speaker
I have finished Yakuza Kiwami 2.
01:03:14
Speaker
I'm still on my mission through the world of Japan, making my way through Kamurocho and Sotenbori now.
01:03:21
Speaker
And it's been fun, I guess.
01:03:23
Speaker
I really liked Kiwami 1 and Kiwami 2, which are the remakes of the original Yakuza 1 and 2 for the PS2.
01:03:30
Speaker
They are full-on remakes in that they redo a bunch of the scenes, but they're in higher quality, and they add stuff to tie it in with the prequel game that they made, Yakuza 0.
01:03:39
Speaker
I haven't played that one yet.
01:03:40
Speaker
I'm playing in release order, but using the remakes, which is maybe a bad call, but it's been okay.
01:03:45
Speaker
Yeah, I really, really enjoy it.
01:03:46
Speaker
There's something about the sort of beat-em-up action that you get from the Yakuza series, which is spammy and honestly a little too easy and simple, but still is just good enough, just serviceable enough to get you through this world.
01:03:59
Speaker
Just hit people with buttons.
01:03:59
Speaker
Bikes, you know.
01:04:00
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
01:04:01
Speaker
Just beat the shit out of them with bikes.
01:04:02
Speaker
That's all you need.
01:04:03
Speaker
Pick up a traffic cone and just smash them in the face with it.
01:04:07
Speaker
It's just the reason I like the games so far anyways is the vibe and the mood and the atmosphere and the characters.
01:04:14
Speaker
I like the cast.
01:04:16
Speaker
So I'm here for that.
01:04:17
Speaker
I could watch them do something awful for six hours and still have a good time because they're just so lovable and they're so fun.
01:04:23
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:24
Speaker
It's the world.
01:04:24
Speaker
It's so goofy and wacky.
01:04:26
Speaker
And it's just, isn't this what Japan's really like?
01:04:29
Speaker
Everywhere you go, people have funny side quests for you.
01:04:32
Speaker
Lovable crime lords.
01:04:33
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:34
Speaker
It's just like, I honestly can't believe, and I know they've made them, but I can't believe there hasn't been a Sopranos game or something in that vein that feels this good.
01:04:44
Speaker
But yeah, but like, guess what Yakuza is?
01:04:46
Speaker
Like the more I play it, the more I'm like, oh yeah, Christopher and Polly would do this side quest for sure.
01:04:50
Speaker
Yeah, they'd be pissed about it.
01:04:51
Speaker
Where do you want me to go in Yakuza?
01:04:53
Speaker
The Pine Barrens.
01:04:54
Speaker
Not again.
01:04:56
Speaker
Oh, Chrissy, can you believe it?
01:04:58
Speaker
This guy comes over here.
01:04:59
Speaker
He's taking his pants off.
01:05:00
Speaker
I'm like, oh, I don't want none of that.
01:05:03
Speaker
Oh, look at that.
01:05:05
Speaker
He's got his brajol sticking out.
01:05:06
Speaker
I don't want none of that.
01:05:08
Speaker
Like, put him in the Yakuza world.
01:05:10
Speaker
They fit perfectly.
01:05:13
Speaker
You're set up.
01:05:14
Speaker
It's, yeah.
01:05:16
Speaker
They gotta do that.
01:05:16
Speaker
They gotta make a real Sopranos game.
01:05:18
Speaker
I guess they can't bring the cash, but they should do it.
01:05:19
Speaker
Like, make a better one than the bad PS2 one they made.
01:05:23
Speaker
They had those fucking Mafia games, and like, we don't, they're like, yeah, that's pretty close.
01:05:27
Speaker
Mafia 2's alright, but it's not as silly.
01:05:29
Speaker
It's not as silly.
01:05:30
Speaker
We need a level of silliness.
01:05:33
Speaker
I wonder if the creator of Shenmue really knew and understood that this is where this formula of game that he was creating with Shenmue was going.
01:05:44
Speaker
Yes.
01:05:45
Speaker
Yeah.
01:05:46
Speaker
Because he goes to make Shenmue 3 and he's like, I don't know, man.
01:05:49
Speaker
What do I do?
01:05:51
Speaker
People want Yakuza now.
01:05:52
Speaker
What do I do?
01:05:52
Speaker
That's what the games are, but I can't do that.
01:05:54
Speaker
He's like, I made Shenmue 1, I made Shenmue 2, and then the 20 Yakuza games in between.
01:06:01
Speaker
And then no one liked Shenmue 3.
01:06:03
Speaker
But what are you playing, Kevin?
01:06:04
Speaker
What are you playing?
01:06:06
Speaker
Oh, so I'm still playing Rogue Trader, still having a lot of fun with that.
01:06:13
Speaker
I tried firing up Lords of the Fallen.
01:06:18
Speaker
Ooh, sorry.
01:06:19
Speaker
This is the new one.
01:06:21
Speaker
This is the new one.
01:06:23
Speaker
Okay.
01:06:23
Speaker
Yeah.
01:06:23
Speaker
Also called... The first one was the Lords of the Fallen, and this one's just Lords of the Fallen?
01:06:31
Speaker
Uh, maybe.
01:06:32
Speaker
I need to... I'm Googling.
01:06:34
Speaker
I'm Googling.
01:06:35
Speaker
What's the difference between Lords of the Fallen and Lords of the Fallen?
01:06:38
Speaker
I think it's Lords of the Fallen is the new one, and the original is the Lords of the Fallen, right?
01:06:46
Speaker
That has to be what it is.
01:06:48
Speaker
No, it's the first one is also Lords of the Fallen.
01:06:52
Speaker
Why?
01:06:54
Speaker
Why?
01:06:55
Speaker
Why?
01:06:56
Speaker
I don't know.
01:06:58
Speaker
Anyway.
01:06:59
Speaker
Anyway, how is it?
01:06:59
Speaker
Yeah.
01:07:00
Speaker
It's fine.
01:07:03
Speaker
All right.
01:07:03
Speaker
Nice.
01:07:05
Speaker
Nice.
01:07:05
Speaker
Is it like a Souls-like still?
01:07:08
Speaker
It is very much a Souls-like with extra stuff on it.
01:07:14
Speaker
Like you have this...
01:07:16
Speaker
So you have this like lantern thing and you can switch at certain points.
01:07:21
Speaker
You can like switch phases of the world and you're fighting things.
01:07:28
Speaker
It's like you switch to the upside down version.
01:07:31
Speaker
Oh, okay.
01:07:32
Speaker
So it's like a dark world.
01:07:34
Speaker
There's like a dark world and a light world, but the light world is also pretty damn dark.
01:07:38
Speaker
Okay, so dark world and a darker world?
01:07:40
Speaker
Dark and darker.
01:07:41
Speaker
Okay.
01:07:45
Speaker
It's kind of how it's built.
01:07:46
Speaker
Yeah, I played like 30 to 45 minutes of it so far.
01:07:51
Speaker
It's fine.
01:07:52
Speaker
It says it's like... I was planning on my Steam Deck.
01:07:55
Speaker
It's like, verified for Steam Deck, thumbs up.
01:07:58
Speaker
Everything was like...
01:08:00
Speaker
Everything about the UI and maybe this is something I can adjust just felt like too tiny.
01:08:05
Speaker
I was like looking at the Steam Deck, like, what do I have equipped?
01:08:08
Speaker
What the fuck's going on?
01:08:10
Speaker
Is this a game for ants?
01:08:15
Speaker
What's going on here?
01:08:18
Speaker
So yeah, I'll probably keep at it, but I might start playing it on my actual computer rather than the Steam Deck.
01:08:26
Speaker
Cause it's like, I've been looking for something else to play on my Steam Deck, right?
01:08:30
Speaker
I was like, ah, maybe this is a Steam Deck game.
01:08:33
Speaker
And you know, like Lies of P, even though I'm not like a huge fan of Lies of P just because
01:08:41
Speaker
I feel like there's some weird wonkiness with like the scaling of certain enemies and bosses and all that stuff.
01:08:47
Speaker
I mean, that's a pretty common souls-like issue, but I had a lot of thoughts about Lies of P.
01:08:57
Speaker
But Lies of P was perfect.
01:09:00
Speaker
Dream on the Steam Deck.
01:09:01
Speaker
Like the UI was like perfectly sized.
01:09:04
Speaker
Everything just looked good.
01:09:06
Speaker
Lords of the Fallen was just like, ah, there's a lot of information on the screen.
01:09:11
Speaker
It feels like a lot of things going on.
01:09:13
Speaker
I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
01:09:15
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:16
Speaker
Looks kind of.
01:09:17
Speaker
And also the the.
01:09:20
Speaker
I forget what the... Call it the maison-son of the game.
01:09:26
Speaker
It's just like too muddy.
01:09:28
Speaker
You know, it just feels like it doesn't have the readability that it should have.
01:09:35
Speaker
Yeah.
01:09:35
Speaker
Other than that, I managed to put it in another 10, 15 hours on Rogue Trader somehow.
01:09:42
Speaker
I don't know.
01:09:42
Speaker
Damn.
01:09:43
Speaker
I start playing that game and I'll start it at nine and suddenly it's midnight.
01:09:49
Speaker
Don't know how that happens.
01:09:51
Speaker
Hey, that's a sign of a good game, man, when you can put it on and just time flies and you don't notice it.
01:09:56
Speaker
Yeah, exactly.
01:09:57
Speaker
Sorry to hear that about Lords of the Fallen.
01:09:58
Speaker
Hopefully they fix that.
01:10:00
Speaker
Because it didn't come out too hot, right?
01:10:03
Speaker
Its reviews were pretty mediocre.
01:10:06
Speaker
Yeah, it's straight up mixed on the store page.
01:10:09
Speaker
That's sad, because the original Lords of the Fallen is also mixed on its store page.
01:10:14
Speaker
They just can't get it right.
01:10:17
Speaker
They tried again, still mid.
01:10:19
Speaker
Damn.
01:10:21
Speaker
What a shame.
01:10:21
Speaker
Worts of the mid.
01:10:22
Speaker
Am I right?
01:10:23
Speaker
No.
01:10:25
Speaker
Hey.
01:10:27
Speaker
I'll be here all week.
01:10:28
Speaker
Oh, gosh.
01:10:34
Speaker
All right.
01:10:34
Speaker
Well, before we go, Jesse, do you have anything to plug?
01:10:38
Speaker
Yeah, you can check me out on Noclip, Noclip Podcast YouTube channel.
01:10:42
Speaker
We're doing a lot of fun new stuff this year.
01:10:44
Speaker
We actually had a meeting today about a bunch of the new stuff that we're planning to do.
01:10:47
Speaker
When this comes out, we might have already put some of them out on our Noclip crew channel where we're posting more gameplay highlights of new games, old games, stuff that interests us, bringing back more op-ed pieces.
01:11:00
Speaker
So lots of fun, new, more community focused content coming from Noclip in 2024, along with new documentaries coming from Noclip and Secret Tape.
01:11:08
Speaker
And we've got a lot of fun stuff going on over there.
01:11:09
Speaker
So check us out on YouTube, Twitter and wherever you get podcasts as well for the Noclip podcast.
01:11:16
Speaker
Awesome.
01:11:17
Speaker
Awesome.
01:11:17
Speaker
And for us, before we go, I just want to say a special shout out to our top patrons, Ruthless Mutter, Jesus loves you and friendly friend.
01:11:27
Speaker
Thank you so much for your patronage and to all of our patrons.
01:11:30
Speaker
Thank you very much.
01:11:32
Speaker
If you're looking where to hear more from us, you can check out Twitter or as I like to call it, Shitter now.
01:11:41
Speaker
Hey, got him.
01:11:42
Speaker
Take that, Elon, you fucking goof.
01:11:44
Speaker
Take that, Elon.
01:11:46
Speaker
Well, in my head now, it's just place the TW with an X and just the X has the sh down and it becomes Shitter.
01:11:54
Speaker
That's good.
01:11:56
Speaker
I'm smart.
01:11:57
Speaker
Did you see the Panther video we posted, by the way?
01:11:59
Speaker
That, like, After Effects default.
01:12:01
Speaker
Oh, yeah, you're not on Shitter anymore, so you don't see it.
01:12:03
Speaker
Yeah, he made some, like, bad fucking thing.
01:12:07
Speaker
It's really bad.
01:12:09
Speaker
You'll love it when you see it.
01:12:11
Speaker
Uh, you can also find us on Instagram, blue sky and anywhere else at pixel.
01:12:17
Speaker
It pod.
01:12:17
Speaker
You can go to our, uh, type in the URL pixel.
01:12:20
Speaker
It pod.com.
01:12:21
Speaker
That'll take us right to that patron page, that Patreon page where you can follow us for updates for free.
01:12:27
Speaker
There is a free tier that you can use to follow us for updates or you want to get too much money on your wallet.
01:12:34
Speaker
Hey, you want to get rid of it?
01:12:35
Speaker
Did that throw some money at us?
01:12:37
Speaker
Uh,
01:12:39
Speaker
Thank you so much for listening and have a good night, everybody.