Transcript
Speaker: It's just a novelization of Children of Men and they just changed the title.
Speaker: Don't look too hard.
Speaker: You know what else is not too hard?
Speaker: Was it
Speaker: Hey there, everybody.
Speaker: Welcome back to Pixlet.
Speaker: My name is Kevin.
Speaker: With me today is Jesse, and we're continuing on the path of reading Dead Island.
Speaker: I was going to say the path of righteousness, but this is not righteous at all.
Speaker: No, it's the exact opposite of it.
Speaker: It's wrong-chis-ness, if anything.
Speaker: Wrong-chis-ness.
Speaker: Yeah, so Jesse, how are you doing?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I'm well, I'm here.
Speaker: I've read a book and I'm excited to talk about more of it with you, my good friend.
Speaker: So before we get into it, this is an episode that I have to give a content warning for.
Speaker: We have some sexual references to sexual assault in this section of the book that we're going to discuss.
Speaker: Not great.
Speaker: Blanket content warning for racism, I guess.
Speaker: But, you know, we're beyond the pale with that one already.
Speaker: Yeah, that book came in hard with that and has not slowed down.
Speaker: That was that was right on the tin.
Speaker: So, yeah, well, we're going to go ahead and put this body in the marsh with Chapter 8.
Speaker: I'm embarrassed.
Speaker: um so chapter eight they're they're they're going through moorsby the town and they hear church bells as they arrive and uh perna meanwhile is annoyed that jinn just exists she just fucking hates jinn so much uh and jinn is like i'm not gonna handle any weapons because i'm a pacifist and perna just hates that she hates it so much um
Speaker: And then there's a disagreement amongst the group about whether they should actually go check out the church because the bell is ringing and Perna's like, why are we doing this?
Speaker: And they outvote her.
Speaker: So they go to check out the church.
Speaker: It's like world's worst D&D group.
Speaker: Yeah, just straight towards the bad guy.
Speaker: You know, there's someone there.
Speaker: How many alive people are there on the island?
Speaker: Probably not a good thing.
Speaker: Not a good thing.
Speaker: They have to get out and walk because there's no road that goes up to the church and they have to fight through a horde of zombies that appear in the graveyard like a thriller video.
Speaker: And page 135 has a moment in which the author decided to refer to as a kid that is coming to attack them as...
Speaker: It was a teenage boy, a ghetto kid.
Speaker: His clothes were frayed and threadbare.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: There's been a lot of description of characters and people who've been turned into zombies or whatever they're calling this.
Speaker: And it's it's not it doesn't feel particularly valuable.
Speaker: Like, I don't feel like they're more human because I know they're wearing like a Batman T-shirt or something.
Speaker: You know, I'm just like, OK, our world's greatest lover, you know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So to do that in particular is like, you didn't have to describe the down and out, down and out colored boy who just got stabbed by this, this group of people.
Speaker: Like why, why do that?
Speaker: What are we, what are we, what's the point of any of this?
Speaker: So I feel bad about who they're killing, but like, they're just, they were humans.
Speaker: I already feel bad for that or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah, it's, you know, it's not great.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, Ghetto Kid gets killed.
Speaker: God.
Speaker: Isn't there another one that gets killed in this chunk where they're making their way to the church?
Speaker: And it's described as, what is it?
Speaker: The shotgun blast that Perna does collides with a woman.
Speaker: And it's described as both of the enemy and the zombie.
Speaker: And I think Jin's with the zombie.
Speaker: And she describes it as both of them going down like Skittles.
Speaker: Like that's how they fell.
Speaker: And like they should like they shattered like Skittles hitting the ground.
Speaker: I'm like, what are we doing?
Speaker: What kind of Skittles are these?
Speaker: Yeah, right.
Speaker: Those big heavy Skittles.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: I don't.
Speaker: I've never heard anyone describe anything falling as it's as it being like Skittles.
Speaker: like skittles there's another weird description later uh i i think i highlighted um where it was just like oh uh we'll get to this scene but they are swarmed like wasps attracted to a picnic and i was like yeah and yes yeah ants that's the thing much like paul rudd ants
Speaker: Like I just, that's, that's the thing.
Speaker: That's the line.
Speaker: Everyone knows that.
Speaker: It's like ants to a picnic.
Speaker: It's like a fat kid on cake.
Speaker: It's like, you know, falling down like Skittles.
Speaker: You know, everyone says falling down like Skittles.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, Skittles famously falling down, uh, fucking Skittles.
Speaker: You think you're pouring them into your hand?
Speaker: You're not pouring them in your hand.
Speaker: They're like missing your hand.
Speaker: Go right to the ground.
Speaker: Falling like Skittles.
Speaker: Everyone knows this hashtag falling like Skittles.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: So in my notes, I write things get violent, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker: It's like pages and pages of you just had a page limit you had to hit.
Speaker: And he was like, I don't know.
Speaker: Here's some more death and destruction and viscera.
Speaker: Enjoy.
Speaker: I'll just go through all the fight scenes and extend them by five pages.
Speaker: And that should do it.
Speaker: Double space.
Speaker: This is a novella before then.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Tight 80.
Speaker: 80 clean pages.
Speaker: It was tight 80 in and out, you know?
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: So Jin actually hits one of the zombies with a crowbar, and she's really upset about that.
Speaker: May is the one who actually kills the zombie, but Jin's upset that she actually hit the zombie with the crowbar.
Speaker: And Perna consoles Jin as she cries that she was in the fight.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Yeah, they keep going.
Speaker: There's another zombie that they have to kill, and then they knock on the door, and they meet a man named Ed Lacey, who is on the island.
Speaker: He's a vacationer.
Speaker: He's there with his wife, and he gives them the lay of the land in the church.
Speaker: Here's the church.
Speaker: Here's the steeple.
Speaker: Opening the roof, and here's all the people.
Speaker: God.
Speaker: So he points out, and there's Mr. Owen.
Speaker: He seems to be having a heart attack.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Dude.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Look at Mr. Owen.
Speaker: He's dying.
Speaker: Jin's like, we're going to help you.
Speaker: This is the naked dude, right?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No, this is later.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He's just on the bench having a heart attack.
Speaker: Jin's like, let's help out.
Speaker: And Perna goes, no.
Speaker: And then Ed is like, well, maybe we can work something out.
Speaker: And he takes them to the back where Sister Helen and a man named Danny are ringing the bells for some reason.
Speaker: And Sister Helen, full tinfoil hat on this being the apocalypse.
Speaker: She's like,
Speaker: God's wrath, you know, is coming to smite us all.
Speaker: That's what this is.
Speaker: Finally.
Speaker: You know, finally.
Speaker: And then Ed is like, don't ask Sister Helen why she thinks God's wrath is...
Speaker: There's so like quest givery here too.
Speaker: Like so gameplay, you could feel like, okay.
Speaker: You could feel the exclamation point above the, their heads as they're waiting for you.
Speaker: Um, so they come up with a plan.
Speaker: Danny knows how to get into the police armory because he installed it for the cops.
Speaker: Uh, so he knows all the codes and, uh,
Speaker: So the goal is they're going to go get guns for the people at the church.
Speaker: And I don't even know what they're necessarily getting out of that.
Speaker: Oh, well, yeah, they get the group gets guns, too.
Speaker: So everybody gets maybe everybody gets explosions or explosives.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: Who knows?
Speaker: Who knows?
Speaker: Who knows?
Speaker: Chapter nine, though, we get.
Speaker: I mean, I know authors who use subtext and they're all cowards.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right there at the beginning of chapter nine, our author writes that the zombies grouped up in the street are a hideously grotesque parody of consumerism.
Speaker: Like, nice, dude.
Speaker: My man.
Speaker: You understand zombies.
Speaker: You figured it out.
Speaker: Congratulations.
Speaker: You know, George Romero managed to do a whole movie without actually saying that and said that.
Speaker: But you just wrote it there.
Speaker: Good for you.
Speaker: Good for you.
Speaker: He just rented Dawn of the Dead.
Speaker: He had literally just read to Dawn of the Dead before writing this scene.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And was like, hey.
Speaker: I think these people are wage slaves.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: Next, I'm going to write a book about vampires, but they're all going to be rich people.
Speaker: No one will see this coming.
Speaker: Stupid.
Speaker: Sorry, Mark.
Speaker: Sorry, Mark.
Speaker: You're not stealing from George Romero or Anne Rice in this house.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: Anyway, they're bopping through town.
Speaker: There's a lot of zombies walking around the main stretch, but noise.
Speaker: They confirm their hypothesis is that noise isn't what attracts the zombies.
Speaker: Cars themselves really don't catch their attention.
Speaker: Um, they get to their first stop, the police station, and they're going to load up on guns.
Speaker: Uh, outside this police station though, there's a fashionista zombie and they're like, uh, you know, we get a full description about how she's wearing a Christian Dior, a t-shirt, uh, or she got the Gucci's on, she wearing the Balenciaga's.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Red heels, uh, Louboutins, uh, on, you know, all that fun stuff.
Speaker: With the, yeah, Louis Vuitton purse.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So anyway, they're like, oh, maybe she won't notice us.
Speaker: But then they're spooked because there's like another one that appears, jump scare.
Speaker: So then all the zombies are looking at them now.
Speaker: And Perna basically just GTAs around the city a few times.
Speaker: Yeah, that is the way to describe it.
Speaker: She just like is just ripping and tearing in this vehicle, just knocking into corpses, smashing them around.
Speaker: There's people flying all over the place and well-described fashion.
Speaker: Isn't one of them a small boy in Batman pajamas who was running up behind?
Speaker: Like, why are we, there's so many children being accurately described and then just absolutely slaughtered in this book.
Speaker: Absolutely slaughtered.
Speaker: There's just no other way to put it.
Speaker: They're getting run over by vans.
Speaker: They're getting stabbed in the neck.
Speaker: Can we do something nice?
Speaker: It's just like, you know, a lineup of kids and then fucking Ultimate Warrior coming out and clothes lining the ball.
Speaker: Just open the door to the van and we'll just take them all out.
Speaker: Do it all at once.
Speaker: They're all door height.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: They're all door height.
Speaker: Just use the door.
Speaker: That's what it's there for.
Speaker: Oh, God.
Speaker: They get the zombies.
Speaker: They give the zombies the slip because they're crafty like that.
Speaker: And they end up back at the police station.
Speaker: But, hey, it's my daughter.
Speaker: Speaking of kids.
Speaker: Hello.
Speaker: Hello.
Speaker: yeah well phil's phil because phil's on baby leave right now yeah because he had his kid so this is jesse hello hello
Speaker: Bye-bye.
Speaker: Perfectly timed.
Speaker: Perfectly timed.
Speaker: It's like she heard what I was saying.
Speaker: It's like, yeah.
Speaker: Oh, boy.
Speaker: Did you hear what she said?
Speaker: No, at the end there?
Speaker: No, I didn't.
Speaker: She said, hello, Jesse.
Speaker: You'll have to get used to me walking in.
Speaker: Oh, that's cute.
Speaker: Yeah, she's adorable.
Speaker: I think I'll keep her.
Speaker: What a dad line.
Speaker: What a dad line.
Speaker: I'm such a dad.
Speaker: They get out of the van and they're swarmed like wasps to a picnic.
Speaker: Again, what?
Speaker: What?
Speaker: They get inside the police station and whoops, there's some bad guys in there already.
Speaker: And they have guns.
Speaker: Oh, man.
Speaker: And you're not talking about zombies.
Speaker: no i'm talking about real real deal bad dudes yep um they and they they have the drop on the group and uh so they have to put all their guns down and they're talking back and forth and danny lets it slip accidentally he's like but i have the codes so we all can get guns what a moron danny danny you
Speaker: beautiful dumb boy um to be fair we all know the code of the door it's oh four five one of course oh four five one of course it is um you know when have you ever played have you played gloomwood i have yeah that's my favorite oh four five one when we put it in it like it like every safe can open but it just explodes and you don't get anything that's in the safe it's so funny
Speaker: Because the developer, Dylan Rogers, we did a whole documentary about it for Noclip.
Speaker: He was talking about how the reason that he does that is because he thinks it's just funny that people are so into 0451 as the default code or first code for so many immersive sims.
Speaker: And he's like, you know what?
Speaker: Let's prank these nerds.
Speaker: And he fucking gets everybody.
Speaker: And it's really funny.
Speaker: It's everybody.
Speaker: And it's like it's right in his Twitter username.
Speaker: Taffer King four or five one.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Huge thief.
Speaker: The fan.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Huge immersive fan.
Speaker: He's really cool.
Speaker: He's a smart guy.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Gloomwood.
Speaker: It's a good it's a good game.
Speaker: Good game.
Speaker: Check it out.
Speaker: If people out there in the audience, if you haven't, it's still an early access.
Speaker: Still, they're still adding stuff to it.
Speaker: But it's worth checking out.
Speaker: totally um so uh anyway uh perna offers them a deal they'll go to the store and get food and water for them in return they can take some of the guns and the goons agree but they're gonna keep danny and jinn as leverage yeah womp womp is um what for what's about to happen
Speaker: It's an understatement.
Speaker: Understatement.
Speaker: Womp womp is perhaps putting it very nicely.
Speaker: Very nicely is is what we'll say about that.
Speaker: Sam Perna and may approach the grocery store.
Speaker: They kill some zombies.
Speaker: Who cares?
Speaker: And they go into the staff entrance.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Who cares?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: At this point, who cares?
Speaker: They kill some more zombies.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: They enter the store and find a family who is dead.
Speaker: It looks like the father killed his family and then himself.
Speaker: They're not turned.
Speaker: They're just dead.
Speaker: All shot in the head.
Speaker: Dude, it's a The Mist reference.
Speaker: Whoa.
Speaker: Whoa.
Speaker: Whoa.
Speaker: Man.
Speaker: We're the real monsters, aren't we?
Speaker: We're the real monsters.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um...
Speaker: May calls it an act of love, and Sam responds, that don't mean it ain't fucked up.
Speaker: There we go.
Speaker: Perna then takes the guy's gun and bullets, wasting no time.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: Just staring at this corpse family like, you know what?
Speaker: Time to take their resources.
Speaker: Check them for loot.
Speaker: Hit the E key.
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Just that Tom Carty song, loot that body, playing in the background.
Speaker: Sam, why do you know that song?
Speaker: I don't know, man.
Speaker: I'll just do 13 years in the future.
Speaker: That's right.
Speaker: Oh, shit.
Speaker: They have a bunch of existential thoughts before they get to the pharmacy.
Speaker: There's no Naldolol or whatever the guy needs, the dying guy who's having a heart attack this entire time on the shelf.
Speaker: But May looks back behind a locked door that she kicks open and finds it.
Speaker: Woo-hoo!
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Sam gets attacked.
Speaker: He hits his head on the counter and a zombie bites his wrist.
Speaker: Perna kills the zombie.
Speaker: Fucking...
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: But Sam is a little bit wounded.
Speaker: Good thing to keep reminding us that they're immune.
Speaker: Otherwise, I would have to think back because he just got bit by a zombie.
Speaker: That's when you start knocking some heads off when your buddies start getting bitten.
Speaker: The immunity really takes a lot of the tension out of it, doesn't it?
Speaker: yeah it does you're like you're not worried about these people you're like maybe they get shot but like i don't know they get bit or scratched it's yeah i don't care it's sort of like jack reacher in reacher you are you are never worried about reacher he is just look at him what are they gonna do he is he's he's the largest man in the world yeah i'm going to fist fight you that's the guy you're gonna fist really that guy
Speaker: Have you seen him?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like the zombies, I'm totally going to go bite these guys.
Speaker: You know, those are the only four guys we can't bite.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: I bet I can.
Speaker: I bet I can do it.
Speaker: You know how they're everyone.
Speaker: You could destroy 99.9% of bacteria.
Speaker: I'm the one.
Speaker: I'm the point one.
Speaker: I'm the one.
Speaker: I'm getting it.
Speaker: I'm the one.
Speaker: hey hey i'm zombie oh it's italy we're italian zombies now what do you want italian zombies what do you want get some of the gobble ghoul out of that guy slice that up then hey welcome to the gobble podcast italian pixel it ain't no uh every time with my favorite italian jesse garasha uh
Speaker: That's me.
Speaker: That's me.
Speaker: Never do an ancestry, kids.
Speaker: Never get your parents to find out that you're not Italian.
Speaker: Never do it.
Speaker: Just think you're Italian your whole life.
Speaker: It was easier.
Speaker: It was easier.
Speaker: So they patch him up and they grab the food and they go back to the police station.
Speaker: And the door code is no longer working.
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: The bad dudes have changed the access code.
Speaker: I refuse to believe that they knew how to do this or were able to coerce that guy who remembered how to do the reset part.
Speaker: Like, does he know the codes?
Speaker: I'll buy that.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I cannot remember how to change the codes on most things that I own and use regularly.
Speaker: You need the manual.
Speaker: There's no way they had the manual.
Speaker: no he didn't have the manual in front of him he couldn't remember it he just installed the shit and set the code he didn't like you know memorize the book memorized memorize the book he's like because on all these things it's like oh you got to press the thing and hold that for five seconds and then you gotta enter in this access code yeah that resets it and then you enter in the code that you want twice and you're like okay um
Speaker: on this time while they're at the store, you know, they're troubleshooting getting the access code.
Speaker: And they actually just changed it.
Speaker: They had just figured it out right before they arrived.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There's a guy on the other side of the door.
Speaker: Who's like, Oh, that was a good time.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Um, so they leave the food at the door and head back to the van.
Speaker: And then the bad guys just start open fire, opening fire on them.
Speaker: Uh, and there's a brief firefight.
Speaker: Um, uh, or, uh, what's his name from food doc scene says there was a fire fight.
Speaker: Um, deep cut.
Speaker: Holy.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: I haven't thought about that show in forever.
Speaker: No, no, not the boondocks.
Speaker: Boondock Saints.
Speaker: Oh, Boondock Saints.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: The Irish movie.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: With the two Irish guys.
Speaker: Willem Dafoe.
Speaker: Fucking Willem Dafoe.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: It is a, yeah, still deep cut.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Either way, either way you cut it.
Speaker: It's deep.
Speaker: Um, so the bad guys are like, ah, we're keeping the food, but you can have this guy back.
Speaker: And they throw Danny out the window head first, killing him.
Speaker: Um, just neck 90 degrees.
Speaker: There's a lot of 90 degree necks in this, uh, just bam, you know, ouch.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: And they say they are keeping gin, though, for entertainment, which is... And this is when the book takes a turn and really never recovers.
Speaker: Really never recovers.
Speaker: You know, I had to look this up.
Speaker: Apparently, this happens in the game, too.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So one could say the game never recovers from this moment either.
Speaker: Damn, I had no idea.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: Brutal.
Speaker: Indeed.
Speaker: I didn't know this because I had skipped all the cut scenes up to this point, but apparently it happens in the game.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, I can't blame this guy for staying true to the inspiration.
Speaker: But it is his fault.
Speaker: We'll get to the line that is his fault.
Speaker: Yeah, he does write something that's a little like, man.
Speaker: Man, that is the worst thing that a character's ever said.
Speaker: Anyway, chapter 11, May knows a way that might work for getting into the police station.
Speaker: This is total fucking side quest material right here.
Speaker: So she explains that there is an old sewer system that connected every building in Moresby.
Speaker: At the lowest point of every building, there is an entrance into the sewer system.
Speaker: And then they got rid of that.
Speaker: Well, they didn't get rid of it.
Speaker: They just built a normal sewer system that doesn't do that.
Speaker: And then they but it still might be there.
Speaker: So they're like, let's go back to the grocery store because, you know, the the studio hasn't torn that set down yet.
Speaker: So we could get a few more shots there before Thursday.
Speaker: Yeah, why are we backtracking?
Speaker: We couldn't come up with a new place to go?
Speaker: Like a sewer entrance nearby, maybe?
Speaker: No, we have to go back to the... Okay, sure, whatever.
Speaker: I forgot how much money it costs to write new locations into this.
Speaker: To write new locations into a book.
Speaker: Like...
Speaker: You know what's funny is, so we talked to Alan Dean Foster last year, and we asked him about, what is it, Splinter of the Mind's Eye, which was the original Star Wars sequel book before Empire Strikes Back came out.
Speaker: And it was written by Alan Dean Foster,
Speaker: who was hired by George Lucas, Alan Dean Foster wrote this book because they wanted a book to adapt into a movie in case Star Wars did not make a ton of money.
Speaker: So write this book, make it adaptable into a mid-low budget movie.
Speaker: So Alan Dean Foster wrote this book and he would give the manuscript to George Lucas and Lucas would be like, no, we can't have this space battle.
Speaker: is George Lucas in here right now?
Speaker: That's really good.
Speaker: Anyway, sorry.
Speaker: Go on.
Speaker: We have to cut that.
Speaker: So Alan Dean Foster actually had to remove things from the book that might have been too expensive to make as a movie.
Speaker: Oh, that's funny.
Speaker: That's so funny.
Speaker: But then Star Wars made a bajillion dollars and, you know, they're like, okay, you can use whatever budget you want for Empire Strikes Back.
Speaker: We'll do the fun things.
Speaker: I got to do the ad-ads.
Speaker: Get out of here, George.
Speaker: No one wants to hear you anymore.
Speaker: Shoo, George, shoo.
Speaker: Yeah, come on.
Speaker: You sold them to Star Wars, and now they're doing Mandalorian movies.
Speaker: What did you do?
Speaker: Mandalorian and Grogu.
Speaker: I hope it's good.
Speaker: I really like Grogu.
Speaker: I really like that Grogu.
Speaker: I would have called him something else.
Speaker: Marketing genius.
Speaker: I would have called him Little Yoda.
Speaker: I would have called him Peen Peen.
Speaker: Anyone got a sandwich?
Speaker: Love you, George.
Speaker: Love you, George.
Speaker: You're a billionaire.
Speaker: You can relax now.
Speaker: You can fuck off.
Speaker: All right, all right.
Speaker: You can fuck off.
Speaker: So where are they?
Speaker: They're back at the grocery store.
Speaker: And they're like, where is it?
Speaker: It's in the lowest point.
Speaker: They go into the basement of the warehouse and they find some old shelf parts that are down there and they find a manhole cover and pry that right open and it smells fucking awful.
Speaker: Just terrible.
Speaker: And they shoot their flashlights down there.
Speaker: Doesn't reach the bottom.
Speaker: They go down anyway.
Speaker: And as they're walking through the muck of the sewer, they're counting off exits to make sure they get off at the right exit.
Speaker: What am I?
Speaker: The New Jersey Turnpike?
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Oh.
Speaker: Along the way, they're attacked by a crock.
Speaker: um big old crocodile pops up flush down someone's toilet probably as they all do as a baby you know you can't flush baby crocs down the toilet because they'll grow into crocodiles um they'll also grow into crocodiles if they aren't flushed down the toilet to be sure crocodiles will always grow into well you'd be surprised um
Speaker: I've never seen one grow.
Speaker: It's actually the thing that triggers their Pokemon evolution.
Speaker: For fuck's sake.
Speaker: It's like their stone.
Speaker: You don't need the lightning stone or whatever.
Speaker: They need a toilet.
Speaker: They just need a toilet flush.
Speaker: God, it plays the sound effect and everything.
Speaker: As it's going now.
Speaker: Fuck.
Speaker: Croc is evolving into crocodile.
Speaker: Get the plunger.
Speaker: Perna shoots it right in the fucking face.
Speaker: And they like hurry up the ladder just in case it's not quite dead.
Speaker: At least fucking crocodiles can't use ladders.
Speaker: Yeah, crocodiles can't use ladders.
Speaker: They got the title.
Speaker: Who's thinking that?
Speaker: Is that Sam Bee that's thinking that?
Speaker: Yeah, Sam Bee thinks about how crocodiles can't use ladders.
Speaker: Of course he is.
Speaker: He's such a genius.
Speaker: What a smart man.
Speaker: He's a genius.
Speaker: He's a smart man.
Speaker: Smartest of them all.
Speaker: They're not bears.
Speaker: Bears can use a ladder.
Speaker: A bear will use a ladder.
Speaker: I've seen it, especially if they're on cocaine.
Speaker: Especially if they're on cocaine.
Speaker: How was that movie?
Speaker: Oh, dude.
Speaker: You saw that?
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: It's the kind of movie that I think you need to see, Tuesday matinee.
Speaker: Make sure you're in a part of a city that has people who don't have any sort of manners.
Speaker: Because it's not the kind of movie you need to see and experience the whole narrative of or become engrossed in.
Speaker: It's like the movie you put on while you're folding your laundry.
Speaker: But if you go and see it in a theater with people who just have no...
Speaker: candor at all they'll just like talk to the movie because that's when you have the most fun watching that kind of crap it's not good but like when you have people in the audience who see a child taking cocaine for the first time and the people in the audience the thing that they decide to say is honey that's too much i think that's the version of the movie that you want to see like they were so concerned that this girl was not that she was taking cocaine that she was taking too much cocaine
Speaker: She could have just knocked the dosage down a little bit and maybe been okay.
Speaker: And that was their concern or like near the end of the movie.
Speaker: Uh, Ray Liotta is like, uh, who's in the movie, by the way, uh,
Speaker: Ray Liotta, rest in peace.
Speaker: Yeah, one of his last performances, Cocaine Bear.
Speaker: I think it's the second last movie he ever starred in.
Speaker: He just shows up again.
Speaker: He was in the start for like five seconds and he's at the end again.
Speaker: And they're like, we're all rooting for the bears at that point.
Speaker: Like just the way the arc of the story goes.
Speaker: And he gets got.
Speaker: And I think the same woman is like...
Speaker: Ray!
Speaker: And I'm like, you shut up!
Speaker: He can't hear you.
Speaker: No, Ray!
Speaker: Like, wait until she finds out what really happened to him.
Speaker: Yeah, and I'm like, sorry to tell you, Ray Liotta is actually dead.
Speaker: That reminds me of when, this is totally unrelated now, we're talking about something more fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: When my fiancé, we were watching Sopranos for the first time, we were like maybe on season three, season four, and we're talking about how much we love these characters, how much we love the cast, the actors are really good.
Speaker: She's like, and I think the day that Tony Sirico died, the guy who plays Pauly, she was like, oh, that's really sad.
Speaker: Well, that's okay.
Speaker: At least I could still meet Tony.
Speaker: And I was like, oh, babe.
Speaker: What?
Speaker: Oh, no.
Speaker: I got sad news for you.
Speaker: She's like, is he dead too?
Speaker: And I was like, he's dead as dirt.
Speaker: That man's been dead for a while.
Speaker: Yeah, James Gandolfini died a surprisingly long time ago.
Speaker: 14 years ago?
Speaker: Something like that?
Speaker: An uncomfortably long time ago.
Speaker: She was so devastated.
Speaker: It's just so funny when people find out that an actor's dead and they're like...
Speaker: I just saw him on TV and I'm like, yeah, this show came out 20 years ago.
Speaker: He's dead.
Speaker: You know, I mean, like fucking, uh, you should see how young Idris Elba looks in the wire.
Speaker: Like, oh yeah.
Speaker: We watched the first episode of that and I was like, wow, he's such a little baby.
Speaker: Oh my God.
Speaker: Time's a bastard.
Speaker: Uh,
Speaker: It is a bastard.
Speaker: Speaking of The Wire, I mean, also dead, Michael K. Williams.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Lance Reddick now, actually.
Speaker: And Lance Reddick.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Andre Brower and Lance Reddick in the same year.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Man.
Speaker: Brutal.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They always played the stern black cop.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: That was their, that was a big part of their career.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That was their, well, they had other things, but you know, the cornerstone.
Speaker: You get a little typecast sometimes.
Speaker: It happens.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sometimes.
Speaker: If you're good at what you do, they'll hire you forever.
Speaker: They'll hire you forever.
Speaker: You know, but you know what?
Speaker: What won't hire you forever is this book.
Speaker: because it keeps going.
Speaker: Fantastic segue.
Speaker: Well done.
Speaker: Yeah, I try them sometimes, you know.
Speaker: Sometimes I segue, sometimes I don't.
Speaker: Speaking of segues, that would have been a great way to get around Moresby as a segue.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We're really trying to delay talking about what we have to talk about in like three minutes.
Speaker: Yeah, we gotta talk about it though.
Speaker: Yeah, we do.
Speaker: We gotta talk about it.
Speaker: So Sam climbs to the top of the ladder and it's a, he's like, ah, I gotta push this thing up.
Speaker: I don't think I'm going to be able to push it up.
Speaker: And he spends like a page talking about how he might not be able to push it up.
Speaker: And then he is able to push it up because it's just a wooden trap door and not a manhole cover.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: I was falling asleep at this point.
Speaker: I think I literally, this is the point where I was like, I got to go to bed.
Speaker: I can't do it anymore.
Speaker: It's nap time.
Speaker: It's sleep time.
Speaker: It's 11 o'clock at night and I'm, uh, I'm, I'm tired.
Speaker: Um, so they, uh, they get up there and, uh, they're, they're find themselves in a janitor's closet.
Speaker: Uh, fucking Ahti from control is standing there.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: What are you doing there?
Speaker: He's speaking Finnish.
Speaker: I'm like, I didn't know there was anyone from Finland in this game.
Speaker: It's crazy.
Speaker: Archie goes through the door.
Speaker: He disappears.
Speaker: Fucking wild.
Speaker: That would have made this a more interesting story.
Speaker: Oh, totally.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But that's just too high level for this Dead Island story.
Speaker: We have deeper, lower level stuff to talk about.
Speaker: Yeah, we're getting to the bottom of this.
Speaker: They're in the police station and they walk around.
Speaker: Perna sees the guys.
Speaker: They're playing a card game.
Speaker: Jin is looking a lot worse for wear sitting on the couch.
Speaker: Perna draws up a little plan.
Speaker: They set off to rescue Jin.
Speaker: The plan is basically just fucking shoot them.
Speaker: Like it's good plan.
Speaker: It's they just they just surprise surprise motherfucker and shoot all of them.
Speaker: Two guys dead right off the bat.
Speaker: The third guy is wounded with a gut shot.
Speaker: And he's like, ah, you got to help me.
Speaker: You got to take me with you.
Speaker: Meanwhile, May is consoling Jin because Jin is all sorts of messed up.
Speaker: And we'll find out soon why that is.
Speaker: Perna is about to shoot the guy and then Sam says, no, it's his turn to do this.
Speaker: And then he takes from the gun from her killing the bad guy.
Speaker: I guess that's a reference to when Perna killed that snapped that woman's neck in one of the early earlier chapters.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess that is what that is.
Speaker: They just shot two guys.
Speaker: Like, I don't know why it becomes a dramatic moment for this other guy.
Speaker: I don't question it anymore, man.
Speaker: Sometimes things just need to be drawn out for some reason.
Speaker: Just some things get four paragraphs.
Speaker: Some things get one.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Or none, because suddenly they're back at the lifeguard station.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: They just teleported.
Speaker: They just fast traveled all the way back.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: One fast travel loading screen later, they're back at the lifeguard station and Logan.
Speaker: Oh, oh boy.
Speaker: Logan is back in the story.
Speaker: Woohoo.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They catch Logan up on everything and they, they introduced Jin to him and Logan is this old Logan wise crack himself.
Speaker: He's like, ah, why don't you talk too much?
Speaker: And then Jin mentions, and this is the content warning part.
Speaker: So jump ahead, bunch of 30 seconds things or whatever if you don't want to hear.
Speaker: Jin mentions that she had been held by the guys and raped and beaten by the three men over and over and over again.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: This book has not earned doing this.
Speaker: The game didn't earn doing this apparently either.
Speaker: But I think the thing that makes it worse here is that it's like, I don't know, did you watch this?
Speaker: Does this cutscene happen where she kind of explains her emotional state and there's another conversation happening around it?
Speaker: No, I looked through the synopsis on Wikipedia.
Speaker: I didn't actually watch it.
Speaker: But apparently in the game, the difference between the book and the game is Sam, I believe Sam B is angry with her for something in this.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, doesn't improve anything with what's happening here.
Speaker: No, it makes it worse in some ways.
Speaker: When she brings it up, it's midst of it's missed another story, right?
Speaker: Somebody's talking about something else.
Speaker: Logan or Sam.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So they get Sam is telling Logan the story of how they met Jin.
Speaker: And then he goes, I was wondering when they were going to get to you.
Speaker: Why are you so quiet?
Speaker: Ha ha ha.
Speaker: And then Jin tells him what happened and Logan shuts the fuck up.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But then immediately after that, Sam, who was in the middle of his story.
Speaker: So she has her like her little speech where she explains what happened to her, which is like obviously gut wrenching.
Speaker: And I think the reader is just so stunned that this just happened in the middle of this story.
Speaker: And then two dialogue exchanges happen.
Speaker: Logan's a little messed up about it.
Speaker: Sam grimaced and carried on with his story, his voice a low rumble.
Speaker: Like, maybe we have more important things.
Speaker: to deal with.
Speaker: Maybe we can skip the rest of it, you know?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Maybe I don't need to hear the rest of Sam's story.
Speaker: Maybe Sam doesn't need to tell the rest of the story.
Speaker: You know, maybe we can like sit in this moment and let this awful thing happen.
Speaker: We have 200 almost more pages of this book.
Speaker: It's okay if we don't spend three of them describing how a zombie explodes when it's hit by a rake or something.
Speaker: We can like sit and like deal with this.
Speaker: We can earn this moment instead of just, and then it's even worse because it's like, what is it?
Speaker: Two pages later?
Speaker: No, how many more pages do we?
Speaker: It's like 10.
Speaker: Yeah, but not even 10.
Speaker: Where we get to the worst thing ever.
Speaker: Where we get to the worst line I've ever read in a book, period, of all of the books that have ever been written.
Speaker: Like, man, yeah, this was so disrespectful and gross when I read this.
Speaker: I was like so upset.
Speaker: I turned to Cassie and I'm like, I cannot believe, I cannot believe this book is trying to do this and thinks it's getting away with it.
Speaker: Yeah, it's not.
Speaker: It cannot pull this off.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: So Logan, then it's his turn to talk.
Speaker: Talks about how the mystery man has been in touch a few times, but the connection was bad.
Speaker: And then he's going to call back soon.
Speaker: And then just then he does.
Speaker: Um, so, you know, they're, they're talking to him and Perna asks him a question and the dude does it again, where he, he takes like half a page talk about how he doesn't have time.
Speaker: It's so frustrating.
Speaker: It's like you've got, you know, like, just, just shut up, just shut up and just talk over them.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: It's just, they can still hear you.
Speaker: It's not the same thing as like a discord call where you're talking and like it mutes something.
Speaker: It's just keep talking.
Speaker: They'll hear you.
Speaker: Just keep talking.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So Perna tells him to fuck off and answer the question.
Speaker: And then the guy finally gives his full lore dump.
Speaker: His name is his name is Ryder White.
Speaker: He's a colonel with the Banoy Island Defense Force.
Speaker: He wants to get a vaccine for his wife who has been bitten.
Speaker: And he thinks the immunity that the gang has might help make one.
Speaker: And then he asked them to go meet Moen in the town that's in the jungle.
Speaker: And Moen knows how to get past the minefield that blocks the prison from everything else.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Great.
Speaker: Chapter 13.
Speaker: Keep rocking.
Speaker: Logan gets the full experience of the city as they drive by for the first time.
Speaker: They have to get through the pack of zombies and they all take out their automatic weapons and they begin cutting swaths through the pack.
Speaker: And after they get through it, Logan is shaking, crying, throwing up in the corner.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: He's a little bitch boy.
Speaker: I used to think shooting zombies would be fun, but this is fucking grim, man.
Speaker: Shut up.
Speaker: Shut up, Logan, you loser.
Speaker: Fucking loser.
Speaker: Sam falls asleep for two hours on the car ride there.
Speaker: The village is one of those ramshackle types with the walls made of mud on the houses and the roofs made of leaves.
Speaker: And they decide to find Moen by asking at the building that is labeled store.
Speaker: And the sign says, we sell Coca-Cola.
Speaker: Some of that, that's one of the things where I'm like, I don't know, maybe, maybe Mark played the game a little bit and just walked around and that's just some boring, like, you know, flavor text in the world.
Speaker: I believe it.
Speaker: Sure.
Speaker: Yeah, sure.
Speaker: Why not?
Speaker: And then as they get out of the van, Logan says the worst thing in the history of books, referencing how the townsfolk are looking at them.
Speaker: Another content warning for this in chapter 13.
Speaker: I'm looking it up.
Speaker: I didn't write it in my notes.
Speaker: I was like, my notes don't deserve to have this line written word for word.
Speaker: Yeah, I don't blame you.
Speaker: So I'm just... Just to recontextualize this, this line happens...
Speaker: I don't know, in the story, two hours, maybe in the book, 10 pages after we just heard a girl describe, sorry, a woman describe her being violently sexually assaulted by three men as she was left by this group of people that she just met.
Speaker: Not long after losing her father.
Speaker: This is what one of the characters, the most gruesome, gross man in the whole group.
Speaker: This is what he says.
Speaker: Logan sidles up to Sam.
Speaker: And says, hey, man, ever feel like a virgin at a rapist convention?
Speaker: Un-fucking-believable.
Speaker: I closed the book, and I was like, I will come back to this later.
Speaker: Like, when I feel emotionally prepared to have to not want this character to die.
Speaker: Like, I cannot believe that that's some shit that was written in a Dead Island book.
Speaker: Dead Island, the video game.
Speaker: The video game about smashing zombie heads in has the most edgelordiest line.
Speaker: And you just, no one says that.
Speaker: That's not like a thing.
Speaker: It's not a thing.
Speaker: Like it's not like a saying.
Speaker: Sam's response is hush up.
Speaker: Not even a shut the fuck up or anything more.
Speaker: Just a hush up.
Speaker: Just like what a nice black grandma says when you say something out of turn at a funeral or something.
Speaker: Like, oh, he was a jerk.
Speaker: Man, hush up, boy.
Speaker: That's Sam's response to that line.
Speaker: I would have just shot him.
Speaker: Get it over with.
Speaker: What do we need this guy for?
Speaker: He's scared of shooting zombies and he's a piece of shit.
Speaker: And then Logan responds, sorry, man, I forgot.
Speaker: I already gave the context.
Speaker: This was not that long ago.
Speaker: Like, this wasn't like three weeks past.
Speaker: Like, this was like two hours ago, maybe.
Speaker: Just happened.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I forgot.
Speaker: Two hours ago?
Speaker: Yeah, I don't know.
Speaker: She started talking and I just turned my ears off, man.
Speaker: Sorry.
Speaker: Sorry about that.
Speaker: Yeah, bro.
Speaker: I guess maybe this is an accurate representation of the character.
Speaker: You know, I tried to rationalize this.
Speaker: I was like, Logan, who went to college and played football and was a jerk and like...
Speaker: you know, killed a girl in a car.
Speaker: And the worst thing that came of that scenario was him losing his knee.
Speaker: How would that guy react to the story that he just heard?
Speaker: Yeah, he probably would make a joke about it like that.
Speaker: But also, I have to read that in a book called Dead Island.
Speaker: I don't care what the rationalization is.
Speaker: This is not the story where you do that or tell that joke.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Don't need it.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: Unbelievable.
Speaker: It is the worst single line of dialogue that I have read for this show.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Period.
Speaker: I believe it.
Speaker: Single worst.
Speaker: We're going to have our three-year anniversary in June.
Speaker: And that was, I don't even think there's anything close.
Speaker: Here's the thing.
Speaker: There's nothing that even, I will always remember that line.
Speaker: There's nothing that even like sticks that is that bad.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: From three years of reading video game novelizations, that line is the worst.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Just unbearable.
Speaker: Unbearable.
Speaker: So...
Speaker: If you skipped that whole section and you're just coming back, welcome.
Speaker: Thank you for coming back to the show.
Speaker: It's... Good call, personally.
Speaker: You probably... Good call.
Speaker: You probably did the right thing.
Speaker: So they asked the guy...
Speaker: Behind the counter, they go to the store, they ask the guy behind the counter if they've seen Moen.
Speaker: He doesn't speak English.
Speaker: And then Jin steps up.
Speaker: She happens to speak the language of the townsfolk and asks, hey, can you find Moen?
Speaker: And then that guy tells ostensibly his son to go find Moen.
Speaker: And Jin thanks them.
Speaker: They're going to wait outside for Moen.
Speaker: Buy it for looks, buy it for life.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Sorry, I'm still coming down off of what we just went through.
Speaker: It's like we have to try to lighten it up a little bit.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: I made a joke about kitchen faucets, you know?
Speaker: That works.
Speaker: That works.
Speaker: Uh, Moen arrives and tells them that everyone is staring at them because they think the group is cursed probably because they are covered in blood and chunks of zombie guts.
Speaker: Uh, Moen mentions that instead of going to the prison, maybe they should head to the lab that he thinks is where the virus originated.
Speaker: It's deeper in the jungle.
Speaker: And then they call up, uh, Ryder white.
Speaker: And he's like, yeah, sure.
Speaker: Sounds like a plan.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: Chapter 14, last chapter we'll cover tonight.
Speaker: They take Moen's boat through the waterways.
Speaker: It's Sam, Perna, and Logan are with him while May is staying back with Jin back at the town.
Speaker: And while they're on the boat, Moen just fires his gun randomly.
Speaker: He's like, why are you firing at these logs?
Speaker: And he's like, oh, no, they're crocodiles.
Speaker: I like to keep them scared.
Speaker: I think it would be funnier if they were just fucking logs.
Speaker: Like, they aren't actually crocodiles.
Speaker: He just never figured it out.
Speaker: He's like, they're just really good fakes.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Really good fakes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So the journey takes three hours.
Speaker: They get off the boat and they take another hour to walk to the lab and they have some.
Speaker: So at this point in the book,
Speaker: just to follow up, you know, on the discussion we were having earlier about Logan and the shit that comes out of his mouth, there is an interlude here about how Sam and Perna have realized that Logan is a good and likable travel companion.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: They say that.
Speaker: They said that and they really meant it.
Speaker: They really genuinely believe that.
Speaker: And we're lying.
Speaker: All it does is make me like Sam and Perna-less.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I don't know how... Again, if you skipped that section where we talked about what Logan said, good call, but he said some horrendous shit.
Speaker: He made a joke that was in such poor taste that potentially I might rip the page that it exists on out of the Kindle download that I got for this book.
Speaker: I will figure out a way to remove it from Amazon servers.
Speaker: It's so bad.
Speaker: And they're like, yeah, I'm
Speaker: This guy's pretty chill.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Hasn't said anything fucked up in the last four hours, so we'll keep him around.
Speaker: Like, no.
Speaker: What the fuck?
Speaker: Just acknowledge that he sucks, at least.
Speaker: Like, say, at least if they were like, yeah, he's just a messed up stuff and is not very useful at fighting, but he... I like him.
Speaker: For some reason.
Speaker: Do you?
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: He's just got a vibe to him, you know?
Speaker: He's just there.
Speaker: Something...
Speaker: about him like he's just there he's in the game is the feeling he's in the game he's in the game and that's he's in the game that's what we like about him is he is here uh my note around that after that was don't know about that one chief um yeah
Speaker: Uh, they get to the facility.
Speaker: There's a lot of guards around it.
Speaker: Uh, real umbrella situation.
Speaker: Uh, Moen goes to talk about, talk to the, uh, the mustachioed guard for a bit.
Speaker: Uh, and then they're let in, but, uh, the guards want them to give up their weapons.
Speaker: The gang won't give up their weapons and they're allowed to, in the end, they're allowed to keep them as long as they keep them on their backs.
Speaker: um while they're walking through the hallways logan thinks about his favorite movie the thing john carpenter's the thing and i'm like god damn it you had to associate logan with my favorite movie of all time you had to they're they're together now yep out there in the universe the worst guy you've ever met says the correct thing like says what yes unfortunately heartbreaking
Speaker: I can't believe I could never watch the thing again.
Speaker: You know, I've never actually seen John Carpenter's The Thing.
Speaker: You should.
Speaker: You should.
Speaker: Is it the greatest film ever made?
Speaker: It is.
Speaker: Yeah?
Speaker: Could be.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It's got Kurt Russell.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Really Kurt.
Speaker: He's really Kurt Russell-ing around in this.
Speaker: I've seen screen caps.
Speaker: He looks pretty hot.
Speaker: He's he's fucking Kurt Russell.
Speaker: And he's like he's got you know, he's got the lighting on.
Speaker: He's he like invented the by lighting for for this movie.
Speaker: He's got the mane.
Speaker: He's got the he's got the mane hair.
Speaker: Beautiful.
Speaker: A lot of, and you know what?
Speaker: Wilford Brimley's in it.
Speaker: And we talked about Wilford Brimley.
Speaker: Oh, dude.
Speaker: Diabetes guy.
Speaker: Wait, he's in a movie.
Speaker: So, okay.
Speaker: So obviously I'm a lot younger than you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: But like, so, so cultural stuff like that.
Speaker: I don't really, Wilford Brimley to me is literally just diabetes commercials and family guy references.
Speaker: Is he an actor?
Speaker: Was he in movies?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: There are movies you can see with Wilford Brimley as an actor.
Speaker: Wilford Brimley in The Thing has no facial hair.
Speaker: Whoa.
Speaker: Did he have diabetes there, you think?
Speaker: Probably.
Speaker: He's looking at a pretty rough... Let's see.
Speaker: How old was he?
Speaker: It was 1981, I want to say.
Speaker: 1982.
Speaker: And Wilfred Brillimely was born in 34.
Speaker: Holy shit.
Speaker: How was he... He was only like... Wait.
Speaker: How old was he?
Speaker: 82 minus 34 is he was 48.
Speaker: He was a rough looking 48.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wow.
Speaker: You ever see those old timey pictures where it's like, like this man's 20 and he looks like 60.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker: Or like Morgan Freeman's always been like 80 in my head.
Speaker: Yeah, he's been 80 for a long time.
Speaker: Him and Michael Caine.
Speaker: Michael Caine.
Speaker: Michael Caine.
Speaker: Some men just want to watch the world burn.
Speaker: That was more Sean Connery.
Speaker: It was good, though.
Speaker: That was a little too Sean.
Speaker: Yeah, he was in an episode of Seinfeld 2.
Speaker: A lot of his movies are...
Speaker: right he's in the male one uh where they they go to um oh yeah okay all right i have seen him before in in as an actor okay cool yeah yeah uh he plays blair dr blair in the thing um and he's he he is so not wilford like there are so many good moments with just like just with him in that movie uh
Speaker: So it's a real all-star cast and crew.
Speaker: The president from fucking Clear and Present Danger.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: Dude, okay, I've never looked at the full cast for this movie.
Speaker: Yeah, you'll recognize a few of them.
Speaker: And if you don't recognize their names, you'll like see, watch the movie.
Speaker: Oh yeah, Keith David is like the second main, second cast guy or whatever.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I might watch this tonight.
Speaker: Yeah, put it on, you know?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We got something good out of this.
Speaker: It all worked out.
Speaker: We got something good out of it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And Adrienne Barbeau is the voice of the only woman in the movie is the voice of an 80s movie.
Speaker: Sounds like an 80s movie.
Speaker: So speaking of 80s movies, they meet Dr. West, which is a that's a reanimator reference right there.
Speaker: I mean, sure, it's reanimator was written by fucking Lovecraft.
Speaker: But I'm talking about the movie.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: The movie came out in the 80s.
Speaker: Anyway, West is doing some terrible things to animals, including vivisection.
Speaker: If you don't know what vivisection is, don't look it up and not even going to get into it.
Speaker: He's worried for a second that the group is is animal rights activists, but then breathes a sigh of relief when he finds out that they don't give a shit.
Speaker: Speaking of vivisection, by the way, I know you don't want to talk about it, but go for it.
Speaker: You know what?
Speaker: The only reason I want to talk about it briefly is because when I was in elementary school, I know, right?
Speaker: Elementary school.
Speaker: There was this field trip that we went on to the Ontario Science Center, which was like this big collection of science stuff.
Speaker: Can you believe it?
Speaker: It was the center for it, in fact.
Speaker: And they had a vivisection of a human being on display in the human body exhibit.
Speaker: And you could just see, and they had the nerves all splayed out.
Speaker: And I was like, God...
Speaker: That's what I look like on the inside.
Speaker: But I was like maybe 10 or 11 years old.
Speaker: Why am I seeing this?
Speaker: Okay, sure.
Speaker: We're all just bags of meat.
Speaker: That's what I learned as a child.
Speaker: Bags, sacks of meat and jelly with some crunchy, crunchy bones in there, too.
Speaker: Good bones.
Speaker: Good bones.
Speaker: You throw those bones into a pot, a few potatoes, some carrots.
Speaker: A little human stew?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: I like where your brain's going.
Speaker: You got a stew going, baby.
Speaker: So West denies creating the virus, and he also didn't know that it had, like, expanded beyond where it's from.
Speaker: He gives the backstory of the virus.
Speaker: It's from a local tribe of cannibals called the Kurooni, and the virus had lasted a long time within the tribe, but people are mostly immune to it within the tribe.
Speaker: something about the virus had changed recently and let me tell you when you find out it is the it is it is number two the number two worst thing actually could be tied for the worst thing to happen in the book the information we get from that that is fucking gross but we'll talk about that next episode yeah
Speaker: God.
Speaker: Anyway, that's also in the game, by the way.
Speaker: Yeah, I thought it wasn't.
Speaker: I had to look it up.
Speaker: I was like, is this really from the no?
Speaker: Yeah, that one was definitely the next one that's coming up is definitely from the maybe Dead Island should have never gotten a sequel.
Speaker: And maybe the dev should have like not done this.
Speaker: Maybe, you know, it really makes me like,
Speaker: I'm like ashamed of liking Dying Light now.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel exactly the same.
Speaker: I love Dying Light 1.
Speaker: I think that game's amazing.
Speaker: Dying Light 2 is a lot of fun as well.
Speaker: And I've heard Dead Island 2.
Speaker: You've said it's fine.
Speaker: And I've heard it's pretty good.
Speaker: It's got Dying Light vibes.
Speaker: But now I'm like, I don't know if I ever want to play any of those games.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I don't want to find out that there's more of this in those games somewhere hidden.
Speaker: And I just find out 20 years later when I read the novelization for this podcast that
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Uh, I was considering putting the novelization for dying light on, on the show sometime this year.
Speaker: I'm rethinking it.
Speaker: Uh, maybe not.
Speaker: Yeah, maybe not.
Speaker: Maybe not.
Speaker: Might go for some lighter fare.
Speaker: Um, like a King's quest novelization.
Speaker: Oh, that sounds nice.
Speaker: That sounds like a lovely little romp.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: So cannibals, huh?
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: No way this is going to be racist.
Speaker: Something...
Speaker: So far, all I've learned about this book is you can make anything racist if you try hard enough.
Speaker: If you try hard enough.
Speaker: You know, I'm surprised it didn't have some of that old white European racism.
Speaker: I was surprised that there weren't a line about Sicilians in here or something.
Speaker: Jesus.
Speaker: Oh, those Irish.
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: Those fucking Irish, you know?
Speaker: Like just an English character talking about the Irish.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Well, they're at the hotel.
Speaker: Oh, I had to go.
Speaker: I had to come to Hanoi.
Speaker: I didn't want to stay on the island and hang out with those Irish.
Speaker: Too many Irish came over recently.
Speaker: Well, this guy's Welsh, right?
Speaker: Maybe he's down with the Irish.
Speaker: He's Welsh.
Speaker: Yeah, I think.
Speaker: Anyway, West believes that the virus is similar to Kuru, which is a prion disease that affects the brain similar in how mad cow works.
Speaker: And I was like, all right, that's some decent science stuff in there.
Speaker: So mad cow disease is a prion disease that cows get from eating cow brain.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: I know of the disease.
Speaker: I didn't know how it was transferred.
Speaker: Because, like, that shit is so bad.
Speaker: I imagine, like, part of that is probably research.
Speaker: But I was really, really bad in the UK, mad cow disease, the spread of it.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So you probably just nose that offhand from what it happened.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: If they do surgery on you, everything that touched you or your brain goes in the garbage.
Speaker: They get rid of that forever because that shit does not.
Speaker: You cannot kill it and it will kill you if you get it like wild, scary stuff.
Speaker: Brian's I remember reading something on Reddit.
Speaker: It was like a list of like, what's something terrifying that not enough people talk about?
Speaker: And it was one of it was like 10 people mentioned prions and like,
Speaker: And I was like, oh, this sounds terrible.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like your body stops knowing how to work protein, basically.
Speaker: So West gives them a fetch quest.
Speaker: He needs the blood of a Karuni villager and a version of the virus from a dead body, a stable version of the virus from a dead body within the last two years.
Speaker: Uh, and guess what?
Speaker: Even though the doctor knows the Karuni people and probably knows how to speak their language, maybe he's going to send the gang to go get this stuff and quest start.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Luckily they don't need to get blood.
Speaker: It can just be any DNA sample.
Speaker: So that's nice.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: They just need, yeah.
Speaker: Easy quest.
Speaker: Just slice off a sliver.
Speaker: Low drop rate.
Speaker: Doesn't matter.
Speaker: Or high drop rate.
Speaker: Actually anything that they drop.
Speaker: You don't need like some one percenter.
Speaker: You're lucky.
Speaker: You're in good.
Speaker: you're good hands it can be a common you know it doesn't need to be a rare the loot table pretty solid for this quest i feel like yeah um yeah so uh i don't know if we need to recap any of that uh how we're feeling about any of that i think we made ourselves pretty clear so jesse uh what are you playing
Speaker: Moving right on.
Speaker: Fuck it.
Speaker: Yeah, just never mind.
Speaker: Normally we'll talk about the book some more.
Speaker: Not interested.
Speaker: Like how we're feeling.
Speaker: I'm not doing that with this book.
Speaker: Nope.
Speaker: It's, uh, at this point it almost feels like an obligation.
Speaker: It's just so, so, I was fucking checked out, man.
Speaker: We'll see if I even, we'll see if I even have notes for the next episode.
Speaker: I just...
Speaker: And then the book was over.
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: That'll be the next episode.
Speaker: Next episode will just be what are you playing for an hour.
Speaker: So what have I been playing?
Speaker: I have finished Yakuza Kiwami 2.
Speaker: I'm still on my mission through the world of Japan, making my way through Kamurocho and Sotenbori now.
Speaker: And it's been fun, I guess.
Speaker: I really liked Kiwami 1 and Kiwami 2, which are the remakes of the original Yakuza 1 and 2 for the PS2.
Speaker: They are full-on remakes in that they redo a bunch of the scenes, but they're in higher quality, and they add stuff to tie it in with the prequel game that they made, Yakuza 0.
Speaker: I haven't played that one yet.
Speaker: I'm playing in release order, but using the remakes, which is maybe a bad call, but it's been okay.
Speaker: Yeah, I really, really enjoy it.
Speaker: There's something about the sort of beat-em-up action that you get from the Yakuza series, which is spammy and honestly a little too easy and simple, but still is just good enough, just serviceable enough to get you through this world.
Speaker: Just hit people with buttons.
Speaker: Bikes, you know.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Just beat the shit out of them with bikes.
Speaker: That's all you need.
Speaker: Pick up a traffic cone and just smash them in the face with it.
Speaker: It's just the reason I like the games so far anyways is the vibe and the mood and the atmosphere and the characters.
Speaker: I like the cast.
Speaker: So I'm here for that.
Speaker: I could watch them do something awful for six hours and still have a good time because they're just so lovable and they're so fun.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's the world.
Speaker: It's so goofy and wacky.
Speaker: And it's just, isn't this what Japan's really like?
Speaker: Everywhere you go, people have funny side quests for you.
Speaker: Lovable crime lords.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's just like, I honestly can't believe, and I know they've made them, but I can't believe there hasn't been a Sopranos game or something in that vein that feels this good.
Speaker: But yeah, but like, guess what Yakuza is?
Speaker: Like the more I play it, the more I'm like, oh yeah, Christopher and Polly would do this side quest for sure.
Speaker: Yeah, they'd be pissed about it.
Speaker: Where do you want me to go in Yakuza?
Speaker: The Pine Barrens.
Speaker: Not again.
Speaker: Oh, Chrissy, can you believe it?
Speaker: This guy comes over here.
Speaker: He's taking his pants off.
Speaker: I'm like, oh, I don't want none of that.
Speaker: Oh, look at that.
Speaker: He's got his brajol sticking out.
Speaker: I don't want none of that.
Speaker: Like, put him in the Yakuza world.
Speaker: They fit perfectly.
Speaker: You're set up.
Speaker: It's, yeah.
Speaker: They gotta do that.
Speaker: They gotta make a real Sopranos game.
Speaker: I guess they can't bring the cash, but they should do it.
Speaker: Like, make a better one than the bad PS2 one they made.
Speaker: They had those fucking Mafia games, and like, we don't, they're like, yeah, that's pretty close.
Speaker: Mafia 2's alright, but it's not as silly.
Speaker: It's not as silly.
Speaker: We need a level of silliness.
Speaker: I wonder if the creator of Shenmue really knew and understood that this is where this formula of game that he was creating with Shenmue was going.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Because he goes to make Shenmue 3 and he's like, I don't know, man.
Speaker: What do I do?
Speaker: People want Yakuza now.
Speaker: What do I do?
Speaker: That's what the games are, but I can't do that.
Speaker: He's like, I made Shenmue 1, I made Shenmue 2, and then the 20 Yakuza games in between.
Speaker: And then no one liked Shenmue 3.
Speaker: But what are you playing, Kevin?
Speaker: What are you playing?
Speaker: Oh, so I'm still playing Rogue Trader, still having a lot of fun with that.
Speaker: I tried firing up Lords of the Fallen.
Speaker: Ooh, sorry.
Speaker: This is the new one.
Speaker: This is the new one.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Also called... The first one was the Lords of the Fallen, and this one's just Lords of the Fallen?
Speaker: Uh, maybe.
Speaker: I need to... I'm Googling.
Speaker: I'm Googling.
Speaker: What's the difference between Lords of the Fallen and Lords of the Fallen?
Speaker: I think it's Lords of the Fallen is the new one, and the original is the Lords of the Fallen, right?
Speaker: That has to be what it is.
Speaker: No, it's the first one is also Lords of the Fallen.
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: Why?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Anyway.
Speaker: Anyway, how is it?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: Is it like a Souls-like still?
Speaker: It is very much a Souls-like with extra stuff on it.
Speaker: Like you have this...
Speaker: So you have this like lantern thing and you can switch at certain points.
Speaker: You can like switch phases of the world and you're fighting things.
Speaker: It's like you switch to the upside down version.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: So it's like a dark world.
Speaker: There's like a dark world and a light world, but the light world is also pretty damn dark.
Speaker: Okay, so dark world and a darker world?
Speaker: Dark and darker.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: It's kind of how it's built.
Speaker: Yeah, I played like 30 to 45 minutes of it so far.
Speaker: It's fine.
Speaker: It says it's like... I was planning on my Steam Deck.
Speaker: It's like, verified for Steam Deck, thumbs up.
Speaker: Everything was like...
Speaker: Everything about the UI and maybe this is something I can adjust just felt like too tiny.
Speaker: I was like looking at the Steam Deck, like, what do I have equipped?
Speaker: What the fuck's going on?
Speaker: Is this a game for ants?
Speaker: What's going on here?
Speaker: So yeah, I'll probably keep at it, but I might start playing it on my actual computer rather than the Steam Deck.
Speaker: Cause it's like, I've been looking for something else to play on my Steam Deck, right?
Speaker: I was like, ah, maybe this is a Steam Deck game.
Speaker: And you know, like Lies of P, even though I'm not like a huge fan of Lies of P just because
Speaker: I feel like there's some weird wonkiness with like the scaling of certain enemies and bosses and all that stuff.
Speaker: I mean, that's a pretty common souls-like issue, but I had a lot of thoughts about Lies of P.
Speaker: But Lies of P was perfect.
Speaker: Dream on the Steam Deck.
Speaker: Like the UI was like perfectly sized.
Speaker: Everything just looked good.
Speaker: Lords of the Fallen was just like, ah, there's a lot of information on the screen.
Speaker: It feels like a lot of things going on.
Speaker: I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Looks kind of.
Speaker: And also the the.
Speaker: I forget what the... Call it the maison-son of the game.
Speaker: It's just like too muddy.
Speaker: You know, it just feels like it doesn't have the readability that it should have.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Other than that, I managed to put it in another 10, 15 hours on Rogue Trader somehow.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: I start playing that game and I'll start it at nine and suddenly it's midnight.
Speaker: Don't know how that happens.
Speaker: Hey, that's a sign of a good game, man, when you can put it on and just time flies and you don't notice it.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker: Sorry to hear that about Lords of the Fallen.
Speaker: Hopefully they fix that.
Speaker: Because it didn't come out too hot, right?
Speaker: Its reviews were pretty mediocre.
Speaker: Yeah, it's straight up mixed on the store page.
Speaker: That's sad, because the original Lords of the Fallen is also mixed on its store page.
Speaker: They just can't get it right.
Speaker: They tried again, still mid.
Speaker: Damn.
Speaker: What a shame.
Speaker: Worts of the mid.
Speaker: Am I right?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Hey.
Speaker: I'll be here all week.
Speaker: Oh, gosh.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: Well, before we go, Jesse, do you have anything to plug?
Speaker: Yeah, you can check me out on Noclip, Noclip Podcast YouTube channel.
Speaker: We're doing a lot of fun new stuff this year.
Speaker: We actually had a meeting today about a bunch of the new stuff that we're planning to do.
Speaker: When this comes out, we might have already put some of them out on our Noclip crew channel where we're posting more gameplay highlights of new games, old games, stuff that interests us, bringing back more op-ed pieces.
Speaker: So lots of fun, new, more community focused content coming from Noclip in 2024, along with new documentaries coming from Noclip and Secret Tape.
Speaker: And we've got a lot of fun stuff going on over there.
Speaker: So check us out on YouTube, Twitter and wherever you get podcasts as well for the Noclip podcast.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: Awesome.
Speaker: And for us, before we go, I just want to say a special shout out to our top patrons, Ruthless Mutter, Jesus loves you and friendly friend.
Speaker: Thank you so much for your patronage and to all of our patrons.
Speaker: Thank you very much.
Speaker: If you're looking where to hear more from us, you can check out Twitter or as I like to call it, Shitter now.
Speaker: Hey, got him.
Speaker: Take that, Elon, you fucking goof.
Speaker: Take that, Elon.
Speaker: Well, in my head now, it's just place the TW with an X and just the X has the sh down and it becomes Shitter.
Speaker: That's good.
Speaker: I'm smart.
Speaker: Did you see the Panther video we posted, by the way?
Speaker: That, like, After Effects default.
Speaker: Oh, yeah, you're not on Shitter anymore, so you don't see it.
Speaker: Yeah, he made some, like, bad fucking thing.
Speaker: It's really bad.
Speaker: You'll love it when you see it.
Speaker: Uh, you can also find us on Instagram, blue sky and anywhere else at pixel.
Speaker: It pod.
Speaker: You can go to our, uh, type in the URL pixel.
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Speaker: That'll take us right to that patron page, that Patreon page where you can follow us for updates for free.
Speaker: There is a free tier that you can use to follow us for updates or you want to get too much money on your wallet.
Speaker: Hey, you want to get rid of it?
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Speaker: Thank you so much for listening and have a good night, everybody.
