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#22 Jesse Todisco - Psychedelic Stories from Peru & Mexico
4 Plays3 years ago
Jesse “Tee” returns for a comeback, dropping bombs from his latest travels and psychedelic journeys in Peru & Mexico. Jesse is an entrepreneur, founder of “46&2 Wealth Partners”, where he creates wealth for entrepreneurs & executives, as well as the Podcast host for the “Jesse Tee Show”, growth-mindset podcast. He is a nitty gritty Boston born hustler who came from the bottom and worked his way up, got structure in the US Navy, then pursued sales, naturally went in to leadership to then become an entrepreneur, and now he is giving it back in terms of lessons and advise.
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SEBASTIAN ENGSTROM
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Transcript
Introduction of Hosts and Guest
00:00:06
Speaker
Welcome to episode number 22. I'm your host Ashton Engstrom. And today Jesse to disco joins us. He's making a comeback.
Psychedelic Journeys and Introspection
00:00:15
Speaker
So we speak about psychedelic journeys that he's had in Peru as well as Mexico deep insights and really like some of the big questions that he's been asking himself of what he can do and contribute with in this world. We go into that and I'm sure you're going to love everything that we go into. So enjoy.
Light-hearted Discussion on Appearance
00:00:36
Speaker
How much weight have you taken off since I've last seen you? I hope none. I'm trying to lose weight. You look thinner in the face. Okay. All right. Huh. Interesting.
00:00:51
Speaker
I wonder why. Maybe because I don't have a beard. I mean, going on and off with a beard. I don't think I had a beard last time we spoke. No, you look, you look the same like with hair on your head and your face. You just, you're, you're like, your face looks a little bit more thinner. Like, like maybe you lost a few pounds, but maybe, maybe you didn't. Maybe you just looked better. I don't know that I have no clue. All right. Interesting observation. That's what I had a very fast metabolism. So I never really
00:01:15
Speaker
per se gain fat, it's more I get skinnier. Yeah. It's strange like that, but like keep it on muscle or heavy, like, like thickness is, is it harder for you?
Trauma and the Nervous System
00:01:26
Speaker
Yeah. As we're recording, we might as well get into this because this is an interesting part. So, um, the nervous system, um, stores a lot of stuff and there is a book, the body keeps the score is one. Um, and then there is one.
00:01:44
Speaker
what happened to you by, what's her name? Her name is Oprah. And then there's a doctor, I can't remember in doctor's name, but both of them, and it's very prevalent right now that anything that happens to you regarding trauma, trauma happens to all of us, anything that made you more or less feel uncomfortable, that's very simplistically said, but something that left a trace in your body. And sometimes you don't even realize this. For me, that was abandonment.
Childhood Trauma Insights
00:02:14
Speaker
to degree and not feeling worthy enough. And there is a deep patterning in my body from my parents fighting when I was two. And that's a realization I've come to too lately too, that I'm trying to recreate a chaotic environment because
00:02:32
Speaker
I feel that is what I associate with love because there was a lot of yelling. It was always chaotic. And therefore I'm trying to recreate that because I think that is love, which is, it sounds might sound nuts, but if you start going deeper into your journey, then that might be something you might realize too. So with this being said, I never felt safe. I was always on high alert. My nervous system was just strung out. I was in fight or flight and that is
00:03:01
Speaker
what you can attribute to me having a high metabolism too is that my body's constantly going. It doesn't relax. So hence why you might see more people who might be very fit or might be ripped. They might have some trauma around not feeling safe.
00:03:19
Speaker
and they're constantly chasing something and they're in fight or flight. So I know that goes for me. I'm sure there's more to it genetics and so forth and lineage. My mom has a similar thing. But yeah, in short, that's why I don't really gain weight. If I do, I need to work out a whole lot and eat a whole lot and sleep a whole lot. And that's my life. And it used to be back in college when I played football, no more. But that, that in short is a short side note on your comment.
00:03:48
Speaker
Why do you say
Perseverance in Sports
00:03:49
Speaker
football? Are we talking like soccer or are we talking real American football? Real. If you want to say real, real. But like like the hitting kind. Yes. Yes. The hitting kind. Yeah. What position did you play? Receiver, kicker, puncher. So I like the flair. I played basketball. I played corner for a little bit too. But I have let's put it like this.
00:04:16
Speaker
offending or not white boys, the white boy grit and, uh, but not any speed receiver with no speed, just cause you kept on working like outward. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, exactly. More of a slot position, more like what I'm doing. I'm doing damn well.
00:04:32
Speaker
but I'm not relying on my talent because there's not much of it. So I'm just going to outwork everyone. And that's why I didn't go pro, right? I mean, if you want to go pro, you need to have the talent and outwork everyone. You got to have like, yeah, world-class talent plus the world-class work ethic as well. There's so many people that have God-given talent that can take them so far, but they just, you know, what does it say?
00:04:55
Speaker
there's a cliche term that I was thinking of basically like it's you know you need hard work hard work has to meet that talent because everybody's talented at that level now you have to actually have the work ethic to get you through and it's incredible man I know some people like have you ever seen the movie Rudy before
00:05:11
Speaker
Yes. Yeah. So great movie about an underdog that wasn't even supposed to be on the field. And he finally made it. And like he built this cult like following. And for those who haven't seen this movie, that's probably 30 years old now. But there's this guy that I talked to here locally for UGA University of Georgia. And he's the local Rudy. He's the guy who's named Candler Cook. And Candler Cook tried to walk on as a guy with zero athletic prowess, like none. And he was like 170 pounds, maybe, maybe even less.
00:05:40
Speaker
I think it was less is his freshman year. And by his senior year, he finally like had put in enough work and he was eating like 10 times a day. He, he scheduled his, his college classes around his feeding schedule so that he could get enough meals in. Cause it was like, you know, to gain the weight he needed to. And he went from like one 70 to two 70 in four years, all natural, no steroids. Um, and he went, he, he won some like strength lifting competitions, even think about how powerful college athletes are.
00:06:08
Speaker
He like, he set some like lifting records and like all this crazy stuff. And it was all based on his work ethic and mentality. And he finally got in for like two plays at the very last game of his senior year. It was incredible.
00:06:22
Speaker
That's amazing. Yeah, that is one part I did not have is to stick with something. I had like, I'm initially gonna do it and then I ran myself into the ground eventually, but I didn't stick with a lot of things. And that's another, I mean, tracing it back to my childhood too, is I've moved, I don't know how many times in my life. So I'm good with, I'm gonna give him my darndest and I'm gonna give him my all, but if it doesn't work out, on to the next thing, on to the next thing, on to the next thing.
Cultural Experiences Across U.S. States
00:06:55
Speaker
You say camaraderie and trust and it's incredibly hard for me to trust. I shaped and it was formed during football. So that is one of the things I wish I would have stuck with because I'd only stuck with it for a year. And I was so, I wanted to be best at everything and outwork everyone. And we got a new set of coaches. They fired all the coaches and the new coaches decided, okay, I think you're a bunch of pussies and we're going to run you to the ground.
00:07:16
Speaker
And it is the most...
00:07:27
Speaker
I'm like, okay, let's do it. So we were up at 6 a.m. doing crazy sprints four days a week and lifting heavy. And eventually this guy was just a real, like he was the real deal. Like we were
00:07:42
Speaker
I people myself were working out waking up in the middle of the night like PTSD like holy shit I'm like like I need to get I need to get to practice and I found myself one time in the shower at 3am realizing what the hell am I doing and it's a cold shower I'm like I'm I'm half asleep I'm half awake and I realized this this is bad
00:08:04
Speaker
And I shortly after I started getting nosebleeds every single morning, because I did not have the smart approach, I had the ego approach of every time we sprint, I'm going to be all of you. I don't care the consequences. And eventually my body started breaking down and shutting down and that in the same time I was working and I
00:08:29
Speaker
my goal and I did it I was to complete college in three years instead of four and playing football on top of that I was just yeah yeah you might go to college a few different ones uh universal central Oklahoma is where I played football then that's where I got my bachelor's degree from oh yeah what was that experience like for you because I know you're not from the states and so being in Oklahoma seems like a huge difference
00:08:53
Speaker
yeah oh for sure yeah i mean the journey started in minnesota uh then it went to which is that has the highest population of swedish swedes um and with ancestry as well and then it was missouri yep yeah and then it was missouri um
00:09:10
Speaker
not where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to the south or somewhere warm, but it ended up being Missouri and then central Oklahoma. Big things there is family, religion, football, and big trucks. Those are the four.
00:09:26
Speaker
Those are four. And then you have it made an oil, maybe is number five. But those are those are the pillars there. And I think they're incredibly humble people, heart centered people. However, there is segregation, there is a level of you stick with your kind type of mentality, which I did not necessarily enjoy. And it's not as open minded. A lot of it is the United States is
00:09:55
Speaker
It's God's country who wouldn't want to be here. There's no reason for me to leave the state. This is the greatest place on earth. I might leave Texas, but it's a love hate relationship for anyone who is from that area knows. So that was, that was, that's how it was like.
00:10:12
Speaker
And you go back to the body keeps the score and just how we store trauma.
Inner Work and Healing Trends
00:10:17
Speaker
I couldn't agree more, man. And it's interesting the work that people are doing these days. I feel like it's becoming more and more commonplace where they're doing deep inner work. They're doing healing and they're doing all this. I've been on my own path, as you know, for a while. And I recently, a couple of few weeks ago started working on EFT tapping. Have you heard of this before?
00:10:38
Speaker
Yeah, do it. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah, you know exactly what it is. And, you know, for people that are listening, it's working through meridian points. So just like acupuncture, where you have a needle that taps into specific energy points, which are meridian points throughout the body. This is where energy stored. And this is where trauma can be stored and all good, good feelings to a good energy, energy that was dark, all this different stuff. And I started doing this EFT tapping, but we also were doing like inner child work as well.
00:11:02
Speaker
And so working through some traumas, like, you know, my story, I've been through a lot of crazy shit. And, you know, it's having given giving a name, number one, to these emotions that I never did. As a kid, like, growing up, I thought I had a pretty good childhood. And when I look back on it now, through all the different things I've done from talk therapy to plant medicines to all the different shit that I'm into, I was like, there's no way I had a good childhood, my childhood was fucked up.
00:11:28
Speaker
And I need to process some of these emotions that I never did. And the EFT tapping plus the talk therapy combined with this amazing, gorgeous wizard of a human being, Nicole Leno La Barbera, I believe is how you say your last name, Nicole Leno. She's a wizard.
00:11:48
Speaker
someone who does talk therapy, she does mindset stuff, but she's really her stuff is like the energy work. And I released some stuff that had abandonment, loneliness, you know, from my childhood. And it's, it's one of those things, if you don't do that work, it's going to reside somewhere. It's going to eke out in some sort of disease, like disease, whether you're uncomfortable, or you have some sort of mental stuff, or you actually create some sort of disease in your body.
00:12:13
Speaker
If you don't work on these things, you'll never be at a place where you're healed or get on your healing journey. Was it the book that you just talked about from Oprah and was it Deepak Chopra or was it Sanjay Gupta, one of these other people who did the book together? And how did you get on that journey where you started uncovering this for yourself?
00:12:32
Speaker
Yeah. So Jung has a statement where it says trauma or unresolved emotions will control you and then it will rule your life and you will call it faith. And that's, I mean, you're speaking to it right there. So yes, that was, that was part of it, but it's also podcast. I think that's what I really started getting my eyes open. It was Aubrey Marcus. I think someone was on his podcast and they started bringing up the nervous system.
00:12:59
Speaker
And it just clicked. I haven't heard anyone speak to it like that before. I'm always been wondering why can't I calm down or feel safe or trust? And they started talking about the nervous system. I just knew that's it. That's it. And I can't figure it out with my mind.
00:13:18
Speaker
And it's something to go deeper and surrender to, and it's something I'd like help with. Tapping is an amazing thing. As you're saying, you're connecting with meridians, for example, I'm tapping on my eyebrow, I'm tapping on the side of my head, underneath my eye, underneath my nose, my chin, and there are a few different points.
00:13:38
Speaker
is surprisingly effective to bring up stuff because I'm incredibly hard at it. I'm incredibly like I will not let anything in and that is that is that is incredibly effective but yeah it's the it's the body keeps the score it's the book that got me even more open to realizing there are people who suffer massively from trauma
00:14:01
Speaker
and they don't even know how to get out of it. And I don't have anything nearly like that. So that was one, there was an amazing podcast with Oprah and Brene Brown. Brene Brown is phenomenal when it comes to any type of inner work, psychology, human behavior. So that really opened me up even more. So that's on my book list now is to read what happened to you is that book with her and a doctor. I can't remember the doctor's name.
00:14:29
Speaker
Oh yeah, brother. Damn, man. It was really funny as we were just like talking, uh, probably about 25 minutes ago when we first jumped on and we had a call set up just to kind of chit chat about some stuff. And then it just turned like, why don't we hit record? Because we were talking about some pretty cool shit. So it was, uh, let's get into that cool shit.
00:14:45
Speaker
Yeah. Yeah. It was interesting how we got to this point, man. Cause this wasn't planned, but, uh, you know, obviously we, we, we know each other and we have an affinity for each other and we have great conversation. So this is beautiful. How it was kind of like serendipitous. It's like, all right, let's get it. So do you want to jump into like some stuff that you want to talk about or we want to talk about? No, that what we talked about 25 minutes ago, you had, you said you I've had a hell of a year. Let me tell you about it. Yeah. Let's rewind even.
Spiritual Journeys and Plant Medicine
00:15:12
Speaker
Yeah. Let us know. What does it mean?
00:15:14
Speaker
I mean just the cliff notes man I've been on this, this beautiful journey for the last couple years, really intentionally but I've been on my spiritual journey for the last, you know, my whole life. But I've been really dialed in and this year specifically has been very intentional in terms of travel and different places that I've been to and.
00:15:32
Speaker
You know, in the beginning of the year just to kind of give you some cliff notes the short version because this could take hours right to take days but in January, one of my closest friends and my soul brother lane below. He and I have been connecting on a bunch of different.
00:15:48
Speaker
You know, heart centric things on consciousness awakening things on, you know, leaving the world a better place kind of mentality and like how do we do this. And we started off with this men's retreat that we did back in January, and we did it in North Georgia, where I rented this lake house, beautiful right on the water.
00:16:05
Speaker
it was January so it was cold-ish like compared to where you're from it's not super cold in Georgia but it's still in the 30s and 40s and maybe 50s so it's chilly so the water is cold and we did some cold plunge activity we did some qigong we did some uh intention stuff we did some meditation stuff we work with plant medicines we work with psilocybin mushrooms and we had six guys there including the two of us those four other dudes
00:16:25
Speaker
And, or five guys sorry three guys in Atlanta, and it was just this beautiful, loving, safe space that we created for ourselves that had these modalities that we're using from the physical from the emotional from the mental to the, to the plant medicine kind of spiritual.
00:16:43
Speaker
And once we left that weekend, we were like, we're on to something here. Like, we're going to change the world. Like, how is this going to play out? So fast forward to March, Lane and I, with a few other people, went to Peru. And Peru, we were in the Sacred Valley, Cusco, which is how did you organize that?
00:17:01
Speaker
So what had happened was a year prior to this journey, I was supposed to be in Peru, but that's when the pandemic kind of hit and like it shut down travel. So it was supposed to be March 2020. I was supposed to be with a guy named Stephen Kuhn, KUHN, Lane Bologne. These are both ex-military guys. I'm ex-military as well. And they have this thing called the humble alpha, which has this retreat they do every year called the quality of life. And it's in Peru.
00:17:29
Speaker
And I linked up with Steven through a podcast. He was introduced to me by a good buddy of mine. And within the first five minutes of talking to Steven, I was like, are you spiritual at all? Like, just I had this knowing. He said, why do you ask? And all of a sudden, by the end of that conversation, I was going to prove with him in lane like that.
00:17:47
Speaker
So that led me to connecting to Lane and then Lane and I became like intrinsically connected like we are on this beautiful journey together man I've seen Lane and I's souls on a mushroom journey a while back I saw our souls traveling through the cosmos together like and traveling through eternity together it's it's nuts right so anyway so
00:18:07
Speaker
jumping back to March, we're in Peru, we're there for 10 days, we're in the Sacred Valley, very powerful vortex of a place, a lot of energy, a lot of really powerful things that go on there. We're working with Ayahuasca, we're working with San Pedro, we're working with Combo, we're working with a bunch of shit, really short amount of time. Had some profound insights, I don't know if I've told you about these before, but just these are kind of the things, you know, we can get into that another time, but just, you know, that was another stopping point. So it was January with Lane, it was Peru and March with Lane and Steven, and then
00:18:34
Speaker
Lane and I set up another retreat in April 29th through May 2nd in North Georgia. Before jumping into that, what are the cliff notes of the realizations in Peru? So when I worked with Ayahuasca,
00:18:51
Speaker
Thank my journey was beautiful like a lot of the so we did a diet leading up to it so two weeks of no junk food, no sex, no alcohol, like we cleaned out the body we gave it, you know, sacredness so that we walked because a lot of times I was good, people say that you'll get your ass kicked if you don't do that like you'll purge it'll be rough go and then eventually you'll have a good journey. None of that happened.
00:19:12
Speaker
But I also think we worked with a Caro, a shaman, someone who had been trained in this through lineages of his family. And he had a beautiful container, a beautiful safe space that he created. He was playing indigenous instruments and songs, and he was singing. Why can't I think of a word right now?
00:19:34
Speaker
I'll think of it after but it's a specific song they sing and so the medicine he gave us was like a year old so I think it was also not as strong but anyway it was a beautiful journey in that journey I was number one I saw the cosmos in this uh carol like I was looking at him it was dark in the place we were in and I could see the outline of his body and I saw galaxies in his being
00:19:57
Speaker
I was given the message that I'm a healer, I'm a creator, and I'm powerful. And that's something that's resonated through the last few months and has played into so many different things. And we can talk about how that's eked out. But that was the ayahuasca journey with some other thought. Go ahead.
00:20:13
Speaker
Yeah, I can help you reassure that. I could have told you that before. I'm glad you got reassurance that I can help you remind you. Yeah. Stepping into it, but I'm finally stepping into it. So it's been great. So that night was pretty cool. We're going to need more time. I'm going to have to bumpy from 12 p.m. a little bit later. So, you know, Lane and I at like three in the morning after doing ayahuasca, we want to go out. We're at the Sacred Valley. So right as soon as we walk out the door, there's like
00:20:38
Speaker
the temple of the moon and the temple of San Pedro it's like right there it's within like 200 yards so close and as we're walking into these like hills where it starts to get really dark I don't know if you've been to Peru before but a lot of like uh you know foreign countries even in Mexico there's wild dogs everywhere
00:20:54
Speaker
In Peru, they're everywhere. There's so high concentration of wild dogs. And all of a sudden, we hear barking in the background. And we're out in the open, 3 o'clock in the morning, stargazing, talking about life and all this different stuff. And all of a sudden, we really hear the dogs getting close.
00:21:12
Speaker
And they get close and all of a sudden they're like next to us and there's 30 wild dogs. No banding their ground looking because they they they're like what there's not humans out at three o'clock in the morning and it'd be sacred Hills like this is this is weird. And so like they come up to us and they're barking and going crazy.
00:21:28
Speaker
And it just so happened like two weeks prior, there was a man that was killed in Florida by wild dogs. So that's in the back of my mind. Plus, I'm thinking, I watch a lot of nature is metal on Instagram. So like, you see how crazy nature is. And I'm like, these dogs are gonna like try to fuck with us. Lane and his beautiful, I call him Navajo Jesus. He's like the most beautiful, he used to be a green beret, which is strange, but he's like this beautiful serene human being, all the work he's done. He gets down on one knee and he's like inviting.
00:21:57
Speaker
So he's like, he's like showing them that it's okay. And I just stand next to him in like a very stern, strong, but like not like an aggressive way. Like I'm standing my ground. So like you had like this polarity. You had a guy that was inviting, but a guy that was like knocking it back down. The dogs checked this out and they left. It was like the weirdest fucking thing in the world. Then we went back to talking about the cosmos and the universe and all this different stuff. That was ayahuasca night.
00:22:23
Speaker
We work with San Pedro. Have you heard of San Pedro before? Yes. Yeah. Have you done it? No. So San Pedro is the... So Ayahuasca is the feminine. It's the spiritual. It's the airy. It's the opening your third eye. It's all that. San Pedro is the masculine. It's the grounding. It's the heart opening. It's a beautiful opposite. It's like yin and yang, essentially.
00:22:46
Speaker
And, but it'll take you places like it'll it'll give you like a psychedelic journey it'll give you this amazing information. My biggest intention with work, getting to Peru was spending time with my daughter who died when she was seven days old. And this was my intention for months.
00:23:05
Speaker
And as you get closer to doing a ceremony, your intention really gets hyper-focused and it's really crystallized. And intention's everything and everything you do. If you think about people that grew up in a church like I did, in the Catholic church, it was all about intentions. It was praying, it was being intentional. There's something to that. And then you learn that there's definitely more than something to it. So setting intention was, I want to sit with my daughter, I want to be with my daughter. I had seven days with her, I want to be with her again.
00:23:32
Speaker
I also wanted to be with my mom and my dad who I've lost in the last couple years, few years. And so I really wanted to be with the most important people in my life. And I surrendered to the how. I just knew I wanted to do this.
00:23:46
Speaker
So when I do San Pedro, which comes from a cactus, they cook it for like 48 hours, the cactus itself, it eats out this kind of green slime and you drink it. And in 20, 30 minutes, you start dropping in, you start getting kind of the euphoria, you start feeling good, you get, it's a very grounding medicine. So you're on the ground the whole time, connected to Pachamama to earth. And during this journey, I sat with my daughter for two hours.
00:24:14
Speaker
I was with her, her embodiment, her energy, her soul, her spirit, whatever you want to call it, for two hours. And it was the most profound experience, one of the most profound experiences of my life. And there was all these other beautiful things, like there was, there's a mountain, they call them Apus, they believe the mountains have spirits and they're like, like kind of, you know, so these, there was this mountain that was right outside of our place we were staying, you could see it and look like there was a face in the mountain and everybody could see this face without, you know, San Pedro.
00:24:42
Speaker
But when I was on San Pedro looking at his face, I was looking at the mountain, all of a sudden it started becoming clear to me that mountain was, uh, stood the test of time. It stood all, you know, it's all the obstacles that ever been thrown at it from, from mother nature. It's always, it's just always remained a steadfast rock on this, on this area. And all of a sudden the face of the mountain turned into my face.
00:25:05
Speaker
And it was just telling me that I'm kind of similar too with like being able to weather storms and being a rock and all this different stuff. So there was like just some symbolism. And then there was a couple other little things that I won't get into, but I also sat with my mom and my dad.
00:25:17
Speaker
I saw my ancestors in the clouds and it wasn't like it was it was geometric kind of hieroglyphic stuff but I could understand it and it was like my it was what it taught me on San Pedro was in the biggest lesson that I could tell anyone listening to this is whenever you lose someone whatever you believe in in terms of heaven or you don't believe in heaven or if you believe in spirits whatever
00:25:40
Speaker
They never leave you. My daughter. So I was looking to, I kept on my intention was to be with my daughter, be with my daughter, be with my daughter. What I learned in San Pedro taught me was that she was always with me. She's a part of me. She's in my like fabric of being. So my daughter, my mom and my dad, even though they're not physically here, their energy, their spirit, their vibe, like vibration, whatever it is, is with me.
00:26:02
Speaker
I am getting the chills. I had a breathwork session in Sedona with Fit for Service, and that was deeply came through too. My grandmother, who I was very close to, and then my uncle, who passed away before her, they came as, you can say, translucent beings, and I was laying on the ground, and then that shape went into me,
00:26:31
Speaker
And then my my uncle same and then I was flying as an angel or I was I was up and they were angel and they had angel wings. And the message that came through all the time. So they're German is vio sin tio, which means we are you. We are you.
00:26:55
Speaker
Yeah, chills. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I have that in my mind. I have affirmations and I say that every morning. So it's, it's amazing that you're saying that too. I'm going to take that. I'm gonna take those words and use that from my experience. Like we are you because that's what it was. It's like, we never left. We are you like that's. I'm gonna fucking cry, dude. Yeah, man. That's so powerful. And so the one of the fun things on San Pedro was I was a lion for an hour.
00:27:24
Speaker
I was so at peace and I was so calm and I was so in the moment so present I was like this is what a lion feels like a lion doesn't generally have any natural predators of the king of the jungle or wherever they live
00:27:44
Speaker
And wherever they are, they're just fucking lions. They're just completely present. And it's like the feeling that I had was complete peace, confidence, knowing that you're not... I'm looking around. So I'm on the ground still on San Pedro. You're on the ground for hours. I got the worst sunburn. I was fucking cracking everywhere, but whatever.
00:28:04
Speaker
and uh and the animals so the animals can uh like there was dogs that were with us like the the woman um Leslie that owned this compound which is gorgeous um and her sons they helped facilitate these ceremonies specifically San Pedro but they bring in the guy for Ayahuasca
00:28:21
Speaker
The dogs were like attached to me like they were like they can feel your energy and they're with you. And so they're playful. They're playing with me. They're hanging out and they're just sitting by my side. Like there was just like this, this presence that I was exuding. And I just, for an hour, I felt like a fucking lion. But the dark side, there was actually a really crazy part to this. So two of them, one I'll share.
00:28:42
Speaker
Because I learned afterwards, I thought I went back in retrospect and looked at this. I had spirits with my daughter and my mom and my dad. Well, if there's light and beautiful spirits, there's also dark, malevolent spirits. It's just how this shit works. Not everything is fucking hunky-dory. I shit you not. I just gave you the illustration about the dogs and how they were playful and they were all on me and they were cuddling with me and just being around my presence.
00:29:13
Speaker
They went from a beautiful, slightly overcast, slightly cloudy, but mostly sunny day. It got dark, it got ominous, and it looked like it was going to rain. All those wild dogs that I told you about from around the neighborhood, hundreds, were all howling and barking. There was a shift in energy that was more than just the weather.
00:29:34
Speaker
And all of a sudden I was just like, man, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna go up to my room. And I left everybody that was hanging out. Like they're all on San Pedro doing their thing. And you know, I went up to the room and as soon as I shut the door, I felt this really negative malevolent presence. I'm like, okay, this is terrible. So I went immediately like tried covering myself in white light and I'm like, I'm powerful. I'm strong. I'm talking to myself. I'm like, I'm alive. And like I've watched horror movies before and it's like people that are alive have more power than spirits because they're alive.
00:30:04
Speaker
until like I'm telling myself this shit and like I'm like I'm like but it's not getting any better matter of fact it's getting worse and I really felt like there was something hovering over the room that I was in and literally the dogs were still barking it was the fucking energy changed everywhere atmospherically personally like it was just weird I was like I can't handle this so like I went out
00:30:27
Speaker
went downstairs, I went and found Leslie. She had this woman that was working with her for like 30 years who does all sorts of energy work of her own. And they went to work on me right away. So they, when you take Palo Santo or you take Sade and you smudge to clear the energy, they took whatever they took and they were blowing smoke on me. They had a condor feather, which is the most important animal in Peru, because it's the closest to God. They had a condor feather that they were like, they just started clearing my energy. They could sense that something was going on. They went to the room and cleaned it out.
00:30:56
Speaker
And so that was the flip side to it. So it was a beautiful experience, but I did have that knowledge that once you tap into different kinds of plant medicines and you have access to spirit world, you're going to have access to all the spirits, not just the beautiful ones. So that kind of scared me a little bit, but we had another San Pedro ceremony a couple of days later and it was equally as beautiful and had some hard stuff, but it was, it was incredible. So.
00:31:17
Speaker
One thing that comes up with a lion, for me, it's coming up as a panther running up Thunder Mountain, the same experience in Sedona. So me running besides it, then growling at me as we're running up the mountain and trying to intimidate me and I'm just calm. And then eventually I'm jumping on it.
00:31:37
Speaker
and then I'm becoming one, I'm becoming it and then I run up the mountain as the panther and I roar and this mountain is known as to have the most crystals in the entire world and the thunder strikes more there than anywhere in the world and there's just thunder everywhere and I'm roaring in my
00:31:57
Speaker
you can say divine masculine, just expression and power. And that's something I've had a lot of trouble with expressing in my entire life, because I don't feel like I'm worthy of love. I've continued to do that. So that's why I've always been a people pleaser and not standing up for myself. And that was a true, just stand like I am incredibly powerful. And in the same sense, if you fuck with me, I will
00:32:20
Speaker
mess you up. But in the same time, then I lay down after that and become became very approachable. And like this kitten almost like, I am very friendly. I am quiet. I'm humble. And but I have ferocious
00:32:38
Speaker
ferocity in me that I can use. So don't mess with me. And not to be taken lightly, but to understand my true power. And it's come through with a lot of these cat animals, powerful cat animals, lion as well. And it's a similar message. Did anything of that? And like, did you find a connection why the lion came up for you?
00:32:59
Speaker
No, it was more the state of being is what the answer was for me. It's like the lion state of being is complete contentment, king of the jungle protector, but very, very happy when it's in its normal state because there's nothing that can fuck with it. It's like completely, it's a lion. It knows it's a lion. It does lion things. Like it was just, it wasn't anything too much more than that. So I will say jumping forward to this most recent trip that I took, we'll talk about the other one in between that Lane and I did, but
00:33:27
Speaker
Um, I learned that my spirit potentially I have to do a little bit more kind of tapping into this, but my spirit animals are frog. And, uh, it's really cool. There's like a lot of symbolism behind it. And like, I'll send you the little, the little link that talks about like prosperity and furtleness and like all sorts of stuff. And it's like a very powerful spirit animal. And it was crazy because.
00:33:46
Speaker
it was going to be the first time I ever worked with DMT, specifically just DMT, which is from the Bufo frog that week. So it was like this weird symbolism that like later in the week that I was going to be working with the frog. And I've worked with the frog in the past, like so back in Peru, I worked with combo, which like I had these like five holes burning in my arm, you can kind of see them a little bit.
00:34:04
Speaker
Like right here. And it's supposed to purge you of any sickness or disease. It's not a plant medicine. It's going to take you on a journey. You're not going to give insight. You're going to throw up. It's a fire medicine. It causes you to purge. It's for purging. And you purge more than physically. You purge spiritually, emotionally, mentally. And if you do it three times in a lunar cycle, which is like 28 days, you can cure like any disease is what it's been said to do.
00:34:32
Speaker
worked with that as well. But jumping back to the frog, and you know, maybe thinking that journey was, I was in a treehouse in Tulum 30 feet off the ground. And one night I was visited by a frog. It was like croaking out my window.
00:34:48
Speaker
I wasn't I was completely stone cold sober like wasn't a plant medicines. And I heard this frog like croaking at like two in the morning and I like turning the light look out the window and he's like right there at the window and he jumps back off the window like into the tree 30 feet so it's like a tree frog. That makes sense whatever.
00:35:03
Speaker
But then like two days later, I'm taking a shower and 30 feet up off the ground because I'm in this tree house, the showers outside it's an outdoor shower really cool, unbelievable thing. And I look down next to the shower like just outside of where I'm standing on the railing and there's another frog it's a completely different frog and I'm starting to see frog signs like what the hell does this mean.
00:35:20
Speaker
And then Lane, he gives us all totems before our, our Bufo ceremony and they're all frogs and we all picked our frog. And so like, there's just like this frog narrative that kept on happening. Plus it has to do with water. And I grew up on the ocean and like, it's my soul belongs on the water, the ocean, all these different stuff. So it's like, you know, obviously frogs don't live on oceans, but there's just this weird symbolism. So jumping from, uh,
00:35:45
Speaker
So we talked about January men's trip, we talked about Peru trip, and then we did our own trip.
00:35:53
Speaker
April 29th through May 2nd. And this was a co-ed thing. It was men and women. It was 16 people from all around the country, including Hawaii, flew in to do, you know, three and a half days of work from breath work to sound healing to ecstatic dance, which is like one
Retreats and Healing Modalities
00:36:12
Speaker
of my favorites. I led that thing and it was supposed to go for an hour. It went for two and a half hours. It was nuts. It was beautiful. And then, you know, we facilitated a mushroom ceremony for the other 14 people, Lane and I.
00:36:24
Speaker
And just kind of getting back to the whole context of this conversation, like it was very empowering. And I saw how much it meant for people and how much they were healed and how much I was healed in that weekend as well. And Lane and I, we didn't do any mushrooms that weekend because we were facilitating, but we did do our own journey that Wednesday coming into the weekend because we wanted to be open to the medicine. We wanted to be any insights that we could get.
00:36:49
Speaker
I went the deepest I ever had. I went what's a hero's dose, which is a heroic dose, which is five grams or more. So I did five. And my only intention was that I asked because when you when you work with plant medicines, the people who listen to this are watching this.
00:37:06
Speaker
Once you set intentions, you can really call into your life things very powerfully and very immediately. And so you can do stuff relationship-wise. You could do stuff healing yourself. You could do stuff business-wise. You could do stuff, whatever you want. You could just set your intentions in it and manifest, which is incredible. My one intention was to find out what my superpower was. So that journey, that's it. It was very playful, very light and easy. I've had amazing journey since my very first one, almost two years ago. It's been very beautiful ever since.
00:37:34
Speaker
This journey is where I saw my soul traveling through the cosmos, traveling through eternity. And it had a golden headdress. My soul had this golden headdress it was wearing. Don't know what that means. It's what I saw. I have ideas. And I also saw Lane, my brother, my business partner, you know, friend.
00:37:53
Speaker
i saw his soul with me traveling through eternity together and it was unbelievable it was like the way i can relate it is and like i've been posting this a lot or sending this a lot but if people know who the silver surfer is silver surfer from marvel comics and he's on his surfboard but he's surfing through the galaxies and you can see stars and cosmos like that's exactly what i saw i felt like a silver surfer
00:38:13
Speaker
Um, didn't know what that meant. And by the end of it, it was over and I didn't get shown what my superpower was just had this really cool, beautiful, wonderful experience. Fast forward from that Wednesday to Sunday. We had a gentleman named Isaac who was facilitating quantum healing for us. Have you ever done that before quantum healing?
00:38:31
Speaker
I'm curious to hear more about maybe, not that I'm aware of. Dr. Joe Dispenza works in the quantum. People have heard of Dr. Joe Dispenza. He works in the training or subconscious mind, being able to take this feeling and idea of something that you may want to call into reality and going into the quantum, being able to pull it into the now.
00:38:52
Speaker
And like, he does all these meditations and all this work to be able to, I'm butchering what he does because he's the wizard. So, but basically he helps you create magic. Yes. I've done that. And I agree. Yeah. So what was your experience like with the stuff you did with him?
00:39:06
Speaker
I haven't done anything in person with him, but I've done plenty of his meditations and it takes you somewhere completely different. As you're speaking to a lot of these plant medicines, you can get to those states with, for example, his meditations. And what's so unique about those?
00:39:23
Speaker
I don't know how he's been able to go so deep at the frequency of the sound and the background music. His meditations last from 40 minutes to an hour and I don't know, 15, 20. They're long, like they're long. And you if you are able to stick with it and most of the guided ones, I am the ones that are more quiet. I have more of a harder time with. But you can you can truly go places and see things. And my wife has more so experience than I have. But it's yeah, you can call in things. You can
00:39:53
Speaker
start having major realizations. Yeah, think of it as a meditation or a breath work, but even deeper. Like when I was at the most connected state, when I was working with this gentleman, Nikhil Kael, he took me through these journeys.
00:40:13
Speaker
Just by breath work, no substances. And I started doing these meditations every day for a 40 minute meditation. And I started seeing all these symbols and it was important for me for it to be dark and for it to be quiet and for no distractions to take place.
00:40:27
Speaker
And all these symbols, for a few weeks I started doing it because I was very going into the feminine of seeing everything from hieroglyphs to ancient Egyptian symbols, statues, like toucans, different types of animals, and I'm like, what is all this stuff?
00:40:49
Speaker
and then i'll look it up which is fascinating i google it after okay i draw it and i write it down i look at what does this mean i'm like no fucking way like this is exactly what i needed to hear but it's in forms of symbols and and the answer i'll just at that point i'm like i surrender like there's a lot of infinite universal
00:41:11
Speaker
intelligence and if I'm just trying to use my freaking head I'm not gonna get that far and it's funny how we speak to it right now because this is the medicine I need to hear because I've gotten so in my head as of late and then I just picked up my meditation practice again because I've been prioritizing sleep for example instead of doing my meditations at night
00:41:29
Speaker
and it has had a profound impact and I'll speak to that shortly or briefly is that my self-criticism and even to a degree like hatred to agree like I'm being so incredibly hard on myself and someone brought this up like how we've been conditioned and being punished if we do something wrong and even this is Aubrey Marcus too he was saying yeah if you do something wrong you would have to run suicides
00:41:55
Speaker
in basketball. And that was exactly what happened. It was just ingrained. You do something wrong, you run suicides. And that has been so deep within me that if I do something wrong, I'm trying to figure out a way to punish myself. Meditation has been one of those things that in cue says this is the gym of letting go. Letting go of that shit and finding and truly intentionally focusing on how can I love myself? What does that feel like?
00:42:21
Speaker
what does it feel like when i smile when i'm happy and that's rare because i'm so damn hard on myself this is like we're going off a tangent i'm perfect yeah we're talking about quantum but yeah this is exactly what we needed to happen i do want to ask you what were the messages the symbols what were the messages that you learned
00:42:41
Speaker
Oh, there's quite a bit of it. Anyone who is on video, actually, oh, so both, both you and I, we're business people. And as I started this journey, it's about a year ago when I quit corporate, I got this, this book, I've always been into stars and signs about like, no, that's, that's wonky stuff. Like I'm never, no, I'm a business person. I'm suit and tie, all that.
00:43:06
Speaker
So yeah, you can see some of this are symbols. They look like wings here. This is a cobra that came up. What else? I have different types of here. There's golden angel that came up.
00:43:26
Speaker
Oh, here's a lot of stuff. So there's a there's a green emerald, you can't see this. And this is the face of Tutankhamun. And there is what looks like the all seeing eye. And there's a specific bird. And then what you can't see there is there's a crown and there's also a dress. So it's all representations from
00:43:52
Speaker
Yes, spiritual awakening to not the dress for my daughter was that is most precious thing you have in your life. Where are your priorities at? This is a ship that came up that is a Greek style ship.
00:44:13
Speaker
Yeah, we're even we're even Viking and oh, yeah, so there's there's a lot of there's a lot of symbolism that you might see or one looks like an alien face. I was gonna say that an alien. Yeah, and then there's some like they're out of this world. And it makes me and one other is is taught thought I don't know how to pronounce it, but it's a lot of ancient Egyptian signs.
00:44:39
Speaker
Yeah, it's volcanoes, swords, but they all have different types of meanings. I'm not to bore people, but I'm not gonna go into that for too long, but it's, I'm curious too. Like have you seen, like you have stuff when you're, you even have tattoos that you've told me about that you've tattooed, like these strange beings who like, I have no freaking clue what it is. Like what has come up for you?
00:45:00
Speaker
Man, for me and my journeys, just for people listening to this, you're 100% right. You don't need plant medicine to be able to reach these states. But if you're called the plant medicine, it is something that will probably be on your path. But breath work, different modalities, all the way to plant medicines and back.
00:45:20
Speaker
can get you to these altered states slash insights. And so for me, my my insights and my journeys, specifically with plant medicines, because that's the topic I've kind of been hitting home has been very visual. I see things, but also more than visual, I get I get words. They're not even spoken to me. There's not like a voice. It's but there's this knowing that's told to me. So like some of my insights that I've received are
00:45:49
Speaker
to speak freedom and truth through my microphone. Not just this, but like one-on-one and conversationally. And be an embodiment of truth, love and light and speak truth and freedom through my microphone.
00:46:05
Speaker
I've experienced what was in that moment of knowing of unity consciousness, where I felt connected and I felt the love of every living thing from humans, animals, nature, all at once. And I saw these underground tunnels connecting everything, almost like in movies, they'll show you like when the brain's firing synapses, it almost looks like there's like a glowing thing coming from like one side of the next thing. And like, it looks like just tunnels and all this stuff. Like that's what I saw in my mind, the whole shit.
00:46:34
Speaker
I've experienced the God frequency. The God frequency is eternal truth, love, wisdom, and joy. It's just this state of being, I guess. And I have, like you just pulled out your journal. I have a journal full of stuff that I've drawn. And one of the things you said was, I don't know if you could see it this way. It's a... Yeah. Hmm.
00:47:04
Speaker
So it's the third eye. Inside of a, there's three faces. And it's interesting because there's this artwork has been depicted by Alex Gray. And Alex Gray, this is funny how this all ties together and I love how we're bouncing all over the place but Alex Gray is the main artist for tool.
00:47:21
Speaker
And for people that don't know about tool tool is arguably one of the best rock bands of all time. Also, they are wizards, they are wizards with sound, they are wizards with art, they are wizards with their own journeys they've all done some sort of it seems like plant medicines and work and they're raising consciousness.
00:47:41
Speaker
and Tool was introduced to me 25 years ago when I was in high school. And I had no clue. I was singing songs prying open my third eye. I was talking about my shadow, all this stuff that we know what it means now. But back then, I'm just singing along with lyrics. I had no clue what it meant. They did a lot of work through. So my company, 46 and 2 Well Partners, is named after 46 and 2, which is Tool's song. And it's their ode to Carl Jung doing shadow work evolving as a human coming from
00:48:07
Speaker
this, this harmonious state that we're in and evolving into maybe potentially crystalline beings, right, all this crazy shit. And I was learning about this 25 years ago, that was part of my initiation and like now fast forward 25 years later when I'm on this journey.
00:48:21
Speaker
It's bringing everything full circle to where now I'm being inspired by plant medicine journeys that I'm seeing things that the artist for tool has drawn on his plant medicine journeys that I hadn't seen before my journey so it's crazy so if you go to Alex gray on Instagram. He's someone who's been working with plant medicines for decades.
00:48:38
Speaker
And what he's gifted at, outside of just being a tremendous artist, is he goes into the astral, he goes into a plant medicine journey, he brings back what he sees. And for most people, they'd love to be able to do that, like what you're doing, you're drawing things that you're seeing. Because he's so a master at painting and drawing, he can really like almost like a photo capture that moment.
00:49:02
Speaker
to the details of color, which colors are unbelievable, right? And so anyway, so I saw this face on my very first plant medicine journey, which was with psilocybin mushrooms. And I saw it everywhere. And if you've done plant medicines before, sometimes when you have visuals, it seems like there's like a, like if you're looking at the wall, there's like this inlay between the wall where like whatever you're seeing is kind of like between you and the wall. Like it could be
00:49:26
Speaker
you know, sacred geometry, it could be whatever you're seeing. So I saw these faces everywhere. I had no clue what it was. And it couldn't be a spiritual deity. Could it be one of my guides? But if you look at his work, he has the same thing everywhere. So it was really interesting. So I was so moved by it, it's on my arm.
00:49:44
Speaker
It looks really cool. So the ego side of it, right? So outside of that, man, just kind of getting back to my superpower was during this quantum healing ceremony, it was revealed to me what my superpower was.
Spirituality in Business and Personal Growth
00:49:58
Speaker
It also ties back to Peru when I was told I was a healer, creator, powerful.
00:50:04
Speaker
So I'm laying down on the ground, no plant medicines in my body, no substance, just laying down on the ground in a very surrendered, open position. We're all on yoga mats. There's 15 of us laying down while Isaac is facilitating this journey. And he's playing songs that have healing tones embedded in the songs, different frequencies. So for people listening to this,
00:50:26
Speaker
You know, like 430 megahertz or hertz, whatever it is. I'm like butchering it is one healing sound, one healing tune. And you can get meditations that have different sounds that do different things. And so in his songs, he had different healing tones that were in there. He also had spoken word from like Alan Watts and Ram Dass. Like he had like this playlist that was like probably an hour long.
00:50:48
Speaker
And I'm laying there and 30 minutes in, all of a sudden I just, I start completely hysterically bawling, ugly cry. And because I've been doing this type of work for a while, like I'm in full surrender. I don't care who sees me, I don't care who hears me, like I'm just completely surrendered. And I'm like ugly cry. The guy next to me puts his hand on my shoulder to comfort me and I'm just fucking releasing. And all of a sudden the reason why is because I saw all my life's trauma, the crazy shit that I've seen in my life flash before my eyes in just a matter of moments.
00:51:16
Speaker
And it was given to me. That's when I saw what my superpower was. So I immediately sat up, lotus position yoga, and my hands, for those who've done breath work before, and you've probably experienced this before too, just breath work alone, your hands get charged up, your hands, they feel energetic, they feel, you may get like the clenched hands, like, you know, sometimes if you're doing breath work, holotrap or breath work, but like, there's something going on.
00:51:41
Speaker
you know, physiologically, where your hands are getting this energy. I sat up with this energy, the most powerful I ever felt it from my hands, almost like they were on fire, but in a good way. And I started chanting that chant that I took back from the ayahuasca journey in Peru. And I said, I'm a healer, a powerful creator, healer. And then I started saying love, light and truth. And I started kind of like doing this chant. And it was almost like,
00:52:06
Speaker
I could feel this humming or wave in my heart chakra. It was like, I'm getting chills thinking about it. And I'm just, I sat there and we did this sharing circle, like we did at every ceremony that we did that weekend. And they're like, what came up for you? And I was like, I know what I'm supposed to do with the rest of my life. I know what I'm supposed to do.
00:52:25
Speaker
And it's, I faced all this trauma and all this shit so that I could learn how to heal from it so that I could turn around, teach other people how to do the same thing. And we're going to take this fucking shit. We're going to give it to the world. We're going to go around every single person we can talk to touch, whatever. And we're going to give them, we're going to facilitate healing for them. We're going to be part of their journey. They're going to heal us. We're going to heal them. It's going to be fucking Matt. We're going to, we're going to save the fucking world. And that's where my superpower came in was just basically being a healer, being someone who could facilitate these experiences and be a part of that journey.
00:52:57
Speaker
Wow. I mean, I think mic drop right there. Yeah. How does this work with 46 and two wealth partners? You're doing a really cool combo.
00:53:11
Speaker
Yeah, man. So what I've learned is part of my mission, my soul's mission is to raise consciousness and bring love into the world. And so 46 and two well partners is a consciousness awakening business disguised as a wealth management firm. And so when you come in for financial planning or wealth creation,
00:53:33
Speaker
You'll get that. But behind all that, you get everything we just talked about. So you get conversations like this, which a lot of my clients that come in, they're interested in this type of stuff. Like I'm attracting the type of people, my soul brothers and soul sisters, the people that I want to run with in life are my clients. And so now they're learning about these retreats. They're learning about conversations like this that we have on the podcast. I'm just bringing them into this like eco system.
00:53:57
Speaker
of love, light, and truth. And whether it's financial planning, whether it's the podcast or whether it's this retreat business, everything is in an effort to just give more love to the world and heal as many people as possible. It's crazy. And they all work symbiotically together. It's incredible.
00:54:14
Speaker
Yeah, that's a very similar realizations that I've had with the journey I'm on right now to with Safina. The company is, it doesn't have to be spiritual off the bat. My methodology of doing it is my forte is fitness. And I'm like, I don't want to do this, but it's become like, all right, that is a path to get people in through the door. And after in through the door, there's a whole lot more to it.
00:54:42
Speaker
And I love that you're saying it's disguised, that you're using that specifically, that deeply resonates. It's a Trojan horse, man. I pushed my 12 to 1230, so if you have a little more time, let me know when you get a jump.
00:54:57
Speaker
So it's what it is, man. It's like it's taken me, I'm now 39, it's taken me 39 years, really a couple of years ago, but really to fully embody it, 39 years to figure out who I am, how I show up in the world, and what my purpose is on this earth. And I think that's really powerful because I feel like a lot of people may go their whole life and never know that.
00:55:16
Speaker
And for me, I was always, I'm a seeker, I'm a curious explorer, I'm someone who likes to learn and experience things, obviously, right? And so, in doing that, I've been able to accumulate knowledge, information and experiences that I can then share with other people, if that makes sense. And whatever modality of being of service, like we've met in Fit for Service, Aubrey's mastermind,
00:55:41
Speaker
But whatever way of being of service, whether that's through fitness, which is part of my journey as well, like if it's through fitness, if it's through business, if it's through relationships, if it's through spirituality, to me, I've learned that it's all one. Like it's like they don't live on islands from each other. It's the core essence is is I and I am those part like part of the eye, the ego, like the physical does those things.
00:56:07
Speaker
But it's the truth and the conversations that you have while doing those things. I think that's the secret sauce. And so regardless of if it's the fitness, if it's the wealth planning, if it's the podcast that either one of us do, these types of conversations that we have with each other that have given us both so much healing and love just in 60 minutes.
00:56:25
Speaker
like, we're changing the world by changing us. And so once we heal us, like you're doing your own healing, I'm doing my healing, we heal us, we heal the world. And so jumping kind of forward to my last, most recent retreat, which got us on this tangent anyway, was I went to Tulum.
Transformative Retreat Experience
00:56:43
Speaker
Second time there in eight months, I fucking love that place. I don't care if people are like, oh, I'm over it, whatever. It's just very powerful. It's very powerful. Very sacred. I don't know if it's a vortex like Sedona, like has a lot of energy there. It's very spiritual.
00:56:56
Speaker
Sure. Yeah, it could be. I feel like it might be. For me, it's very sacred. So we went for Lane. Lane's in honor of his birthday, celebrate him. So we had people, Steven, that I told you about earlier, he flew in from Hungary with his family, so wife and two kids, four of them. Ross flew in with his family, wife and two kids, so it was four of them. Lane and his wife and then me, I'm the single guy. So it was 11, 11 people.
00:57:19
Speaker
and where they're supporting, loving on lane, but also have this beautiful experience. And the place we stayed was called Nomad or Nomaday, depending on where you're from. And it's this immersive like jungle experience that goes right out in the beach, kind of like all things Tulum, the jungles right there, but the beach, but it's really, really, really like jungle immerses. I was at a tree house, so it was very jungle. And so,
00:57:40
Speaker
Each day, there's a different ceremony, as we call it, a different experience, a different session for people to kind of wrap their heads around this. One day was a cacao ceremony. We can get into details, but it was a cacao ceremony one night. The next night was a, best way I could describe it, was sound healing, where the guy sang a love song that was the most beautiful song I ever heard in my life. The next night was...
00:58:04
Speaker
Sweat Lodge, super powerful. The next night was orgasmic bliss, like an energetic lovemaking class, which was fucking awesome. The next day was a DMT Bufo frog ceremony. Like the shit that you hear Mike Tyson or Joe Rogan talking about the change your lives, Tony Robbins, this is what changed your lives. So powerful. I'll talk about that in a moment.
00:58:25
Speaker
And then we did the despacho, which is that offering back to Pachamama. It's a burn ceremony. We take intentions and love and give it back to the earth and you call into reality what you're looking for. So all it just was the perfect trip. It was the perfect journey. I came back so like I was already in a great place, I feel like, but I came back even more joyful, more harmonious, more centered.
00:58:45
Speaker
very peaceful and one thing that you were talking about the cosmos and astrology that made me think you're talking about stars this is crazy this is legit you can ask lane or his wife alley so we do our sweat lodge which for people that don't know they call it temescale down in it's like Mayan culture but it's a sweat lodge
00:59:05
Speaker
They get really hot lava rocks that won't break when you pour water on them because you don't want exploding rocks in the tent. And so they get these lava rocks that are so hot and they push them into the middle and they put water on and it steams up and the vapor creates steam in the room and it gets hot as balls, hotter than a sauna. And it's hot, it's different than a sauna. It's pitch black. I feel like it gets hotter. There's 10 other people in the room with you. So there's that.
00:59:26
Speaker
It's a shared experience, and you get beautiful insights, emotional, mental, spiritual, just gorgeous. And we're in there for almost two hours. It felt like hour and a half, two hours. We get out. They say the best thing you can do is go to the beach, go to the ocean. So like Lane and I, myself and Allie went down there.
00:59:43
Speaker
We didn't decide to get in the water. We rinsed off on the showers that were up where we were outside. We laid on this beautiful like net that was like three feet, four feet above the ground. It was like kind of like black strapping that was like two inches thick. And it was like interlaced into like little grids. And it was like, it could support probably 10 people laying on it. And it was built into the shape of like a TV with four poles coming up into the middle. And so we're laying on it, the three of us looking up at the galaxy, looking up at the cosmos, the stars.
01:00:10
Speaker
And I shit you not five different times we saw shooting stars. We saw four that were in, I'll have you talk to lane alley. Like this is so crazy. It sounds ridiculous. There was four in the sky that were in different places. And we're like, we're kind of joking. Cause we're in this like really spiritual place. We're like, are we creating this right now? Like, is it something we're manifesting? Are we somehow tapped into a frequency? We're like, we're making this happen.
01:00:35
Speaker
Yeah. The fifth one, I've never seen this before. I've seen shooting stars before. Like when I was in high school, there was like this crazy shooting star storm. I think it was like the late nineties, early two thousands. And it was like, I saw dozens. I've seen this before, but I wasn't expecting to see it this night. Number one, the fifth one that we saw, no shit, dude, this is the craziest one I've ever seen in my life. So we're laying down. We've seen four like, Oh, it's great. It's crazy. I can't believe this is happening.
01:00:59
Speaker
The fifth one died out 70 feet above our head. So we're laying down. It's crazy. We're laying down the net.
01:01:07
Speaker
We're looking up. All three of us saw this one, because I didn't see every one. I saw two or three out of the four, the first four, because my eyes weren't always fixed on the same spot. So I think Ali saw the most. She saw three. Lane saw two. I saw two. Maybe she saw four, whatever it was. But we saw the ones from before. Out tens, hundreds of miles away, not close at all, however far it was. Maybe less than that.
01:01:31
Speaker
This other one comes from the beach, from the water side, like right in front of us, the water comes over us and it's about 60, 70 feet in the air and it dies out right above us. Never seen anything before like in my life. I'm like, did that just happen? And all three of us saw that one.
01:01:46
Speaker
And like, Ali was like, was that a firework? Like, A, there wasn't a noise at the end. There wasn't a crack. And B, there's no one out on the water right now shooting fireworks. There's no one on the beach. Like, there's no one that shot a firework. So we saw a fucking shooting star die out 70 feet above our head.
01:02:03
Speaker
What do you make of that? I don't know. It was just great. It was the universe playing with us. I think we were just so attuned and open and in the right place at the right time that we just saw the universe put a show on for us, man. I don't put anything into it. I don't know what happened. It could have just been fate, luck, timing, whatever. We could have called it in, whatever, but it happened. That's all I know. It's beautiful. But you can see it when you're talking about stars and astrology, which is so powerful.
01:02:31
Speaker
How do you integrate this stuff like a conversation like I mean a conversation like this has been a while since I've had and I'm so grateful that we're having this conversation about how do you many times as business people or trying to make dollars and cents and create and produce
01:02:48
Speaker
It becomes very head focused and you're like, no qualms. I'm putting it all out there. This is me. These are all my experiences and you're a successful entrepreneur. How do you integrate this? Cause to most people, even like myself, like, wow, I should do this all the time, but then I get scared. Um, it started with me.
01:03:13
Speaker
forgiving myself for the shit that I either put myself through in my life or had been through that was of not in my own doing. So number one, forgiving myself or forgiving everyone. And then also releasing judgment from myself, releasing shame. I grew up with a lot of shame. Back in the day, we used to tag, which is graffiti and we'd go around Boston like spray painting shit or like writing on labels with magic markers and sticking the labels on shit like we would just hat, we were just crazy kids. My tag name was Shane.
01:03:41
Speaker
I went around writing shame everywhere in Boston because I was fucking shameful of my life. And going back to two and a half, three years ago, when I got introduced to maybe longer now, David Goggins and Patrick Tucker, and I've told the story a bunch of times, both were my mentors. One was a virtual mentor that had never met David Goggins. The other one was my real mentor, financial planning mentor, Patrick Tucker. And they were both telling me,
01:04:06
Speaker
share your story, share your journey, talk about your truth. Like, as I'm getting into this kind of world, and I was hesitant, I'm like, how can I tell people I used to shoot heroin? How can I tell people I was bullied for years? Like, like, like, how can I tell people my dad was a junkie for 30 years? Like, how can I, how are people gonna look at me? But when Goggins taught me to stop giving a fuck about what people thought about when they looked at him,
01:04:31
Speaker
And his book can't hurt me, where he tells all of his skeletons. He's like, now what, bitch? Goggins is a fucking Buddha to the nth degree, but just in his own way. And we talked about this at the end of my DMT ceremony with the guy that facilitated how Goggins inspired him, too. And this guy's a wizard, man. But Goggins is like the other end of Jesus. If Jesus is like the feminine being embodiment of God, love, light, and truth, Goggins is like the masculine, hard truck.
01:04:57
Speaker
Get after it, motherfucker. Stay hard. But he's inspired so many people. He's changed my life. And so his message and his story is you can't hurt me. If I tell you everything that's been screwed up about my life, I take my power back because I love me and his way. And that's what I did. So so the first step to all that, to answer your question, like how do I integrate or how do I talk about this shit so freely as I stop giving a fuck, stop caring about what people thought? And the most beautiful thing, brother, that fucking happened was everybody started
01:05:30
Speaker
they started resonating. Like they started plugging in more. It's like, I know someone who's been through these things or I had myself have been through these things. We have both been through abandonment together. We've both been through loneliness. We've both been through like working our asses off because we didn't want to like pay attention to the emotion inside that we didn't even know existed. That was, there was years before that we fucking find through this therapy that we do.
01:05:50
Speaker
And so everybody is on this journey together. And once they see that you're a real human being, and they see that you have wounds that you've learned how to heal, it becomes really attractive for them. And it breaks down walls, like it takes away that like, so the best context I could give is I was in banking for years. And it was all about suits. It was all about being political. It was always about the perceived
01:06:10
Speaker
facade. But when I got into banking, I was rough around the edges. I was like from like the sales company from Boston, I had this swagger about me like I just, I was me. And like it broke down all the walls. And like, I learned that I was like, Oh, shit, okay. And so I started carrying that with me in life and then added with the Goggins thing Adam with the journey that I've had.
01:06:28
Speaker
sharing the story and sharing the message has been giving me healing. And then it's also invited other people to do the same thing. And so it's just been this beautiful way to connect with people on a heart level or soul level. And it's just been become part of sharing my freedom and teaching people freedom and truth through my microphone is speaking about these things.
01:06:49
Speaker
I'm just gonna let that marinate. Yeah, I mean, it's so true. I mean, I wish there were more people out there. Yeah, just going about life like you are. I mean, you're inspiring the heck out of me. It makes me remember.
01:07:05
Speaker
Because a lot of stuff I forget about, and I'll make an example that's very relevant for me right now. I'm going through a redesign phase of Safina. It went from being everything black, black and white, and then a golden, and then it was very much in a hyper-masculine state. And now, I'm like, no, that's not me. And I'm adding purples and blues and all these different types of colors.
01:07:33
Speaker
I'm like, yeah, let's get this party going. I'm resonating, I'm having fun, but it's truly like I can share a message that's true to me, even though that to even changing a logo and everything is, I don't have a logical explanation from it, it just feels right. And it's about your saying when you just speak your truth, people are gonna resonate regardless of how crazy or obnoxious or whatever it might sound like to you.
01:08:01
Speaker
that's really I mean it's that happened in my first episode of the podcast that is where I go the deepest and I'm just vulnerable and people are like whoa and and people contact me and the other shows I haven't heard their second episode was like that too but the other ones are like yeah like I haven't heard anything back but that's that's that's it's so freaking true like one of the things like qualms that I've had is like plant medicine psychedelics I thought this would be a truly healing
01:08:32
Speaker
Podcasts that be kind of polished and somehow or another plant medicines end up in every single episode. All right, I guess I'm a conduit. I'm a messenger of healing arts, no matter how they take place.
01:08:48
Speaker
It doesn't matter what they are or how you heal as long as you heal. That's what matters. So surrendering to the process and just learning to trust, learning to trust that, okay. And like you said, the mic is my amplifier. That is speak more my truth. That is what has come through several times is stop thinking about how just do it.
01:09:13
Speaker
So powerful. So just do it like Nike, right? Just, and just say, fuck it. And that's, it just, it gave me so much freedom and love and it's brought that much more to infinite, infinite amounts and degrees. Um, so I would just say, just keep, keep following that intuition, following that gut that, and again, plant medicines, we've talked about it a lot. This episode is just one tool of the many there's kind of talk about really integrating, right? So for me, integrating also includes meditation and includes journaling.
01:09:43
Speaker
writing shit down like something comes up for me. It includes having conversations with my brothers like you and then also before I jumped on the four other dudes that went to Tulum together and we were rehashing our experiences together and kind of like remembering the things that have happened. And I'll talk about this last little piece about Tulum that was the most powerful, not the most powerful, but this was the plant medicine journey I did was with DMT.
01:10:07
Speaker
DMT comes from a toad, comes from a frog, for those that are listening. And you inhale it, you puff it in, you smoke it in. And I'm working with Ezraya, who is an amazing healer himself, amazing shaman. I don't even know if he calls himself that, but he really is. He's powerful. He's a medicine man.
01:10:28
Speaker
and he's a healer, and he's facilitating this experience for me, which the four of us were scheduled to go on one day, but my heart was telling me I needed to do this journey on my own. So I actually told the guys I wasn't going that day. I waited, I think it was two days or the next day and I went by myself. I needed to do like a personal pilgrimage because I feel like a lot of times when I do plant medicines is because all the people around and I wanted to have just like one experience that was my, it just was what was calling to me.
01:10:55
Speaker
So I went by myself. I left Nomad. This was on the way up to Chichen Itza a couple hours away. And then before I left too far from Tulum, I go to Bufo, Alvarious, where Rogan has been before, and Tyson, they actually have pictures of them like, hey, they've been here. Like, come see us.
01:11:11
Speaker
And, you know, for Mike Tyson and Tony Robbins and Rogan, like, they talk about how much this stuff has changed their life. And these are some of the most highly functioning, highly successful people in the world that they're craft. Right. This isn't like a this isn't like a junkie thing. This isn't like I'm trying to get high. This is like I'm fucking trying to change the world. I'm doing this crazy exotic shit to get there. And so
01:11:34
Speaker
I go in for my ceremony and I had two intentions. The first one I asked, I said, Israel, I'm like, hey, is there anything too big? Is there anything too crazy for an intention? He's like, no. I said, I want to heal the world. Like that's my intention. I want to heal the world.
Healing the World with Love and Self-Realization
01:11:48
Speaker
Secondly, I want to.
01:11:50
Speaker
eliminate, lose, remove, whatever the word was, I don't remember who was it, but it was basically get rid of any remaining subconscious blocks that I have, things that I don't know that are still there that are self-limiting. Because in my mind, how could I heal the world at a large scale if I'm still held down by these things? So it's kind of like a nice polarity.
01:12:11
Speaker
So for DMT, it's immediate. You take this inhale and there's a breath to it. So basically he taught me this. He's like, breathe all the way out as far as you can. And then as soon as you're ready to breathe in, breathe in slowly for 10 seconds. The other people that have talked about this, like Michael Pollan and Joe Rogan, they talk about doing three hits. You do like three puffs.
01:12:32
Speaker
I probably couldn't have done three, because at the end of 10 seconds, I immediately, as I'm getting to, he's counting. So I'm going through it, I'm breathing in, breathing in the smoke of the Bufo frog. He's like, slow down, slow down. And he's counting, he's like, 10, nine, or one, two, counting up to 10. As soon as I got to seven, that psychedelic vision that you get when you're deep in a ceremony where like, shit, the world's alive, like colors, like it's a whole fucking thing.
01:13:00
Speaker
I was there at seven. So when you drop in with mushrooms, you drop in with ayahuasca, it takes a little bit to get to that point.
01:13:09
Speaker
With this, it was instant. So imagine going from normal perceived reality to super heavy, deep psychedelic reality in less than 10 seconds. You really shot out of a rocket. It's no question. And so he's like, take it in. He's like, all right, 10. He's like, hold it in, hold it in. You're doing great. You're doing great. And all of a sudden, dude, I just lay back. And I'm on this like animal skin rug thing that he had laying down in this fucking teepee, laying down.
01:13:38
Speaker
And it's just, he goes to work. He starts singing his ikaro. So this is what I was thinking about when I was in Peru. He starts singing his ikaro, his song. He's doing this Hawaiian stuff. He's doing these healing songs to me. He's dancing, he's chanting, he's fucking doing his thing, facilitating this beautiful experience.
01:13:57
Speaker
And I'm sitting and I'm fucking going through my journey and I'm going through just everything. And the main, there's two things that came up for me. The main insight was, I know the secret. I know the secret on how to heal the world. I've seen this sound so bullshit for so many people that have been listening to this, but the secret is love. The fucking answer is love. And it's like, okay. And I've been getting this same message the last five plant medicine journeys I've done over the year.
01:14:24
Speaker
And it's the same message, but now it's becoming crystallized and clear. And it's like, love is the answer, love is the way. But it still didn't answer my question at the time, because a lot of this, like you said, there's integration, there's stuff that needs to play out in reality. So the masculine of the building and the creating hadn't evolved yet, but the feminine, the knowing the eternal truth is love. And so what does that mean? That means every interaction I have, like with you on this conversation with people through life,
01:14:53
Speaker
just add love fucking add love and you're gonna you're gonna have a ripple effect at least on the micro you're gonna have a ripple effect re-changing lives in the first place I saw this after this journey the last day I was in Mexico I was in Cancun before my flight I was on the beach I start walking from the beach to go do what I had to do up at the hotel and I'm just fucking smiling ear to ear
01:15:11
Speaker
And I can see people's reaction to me just smiling. One woman stopped in her tracks and look and smile back at me like it was so powerful for people. And I'm like, holy shit, like I must be so peaceful and so happy that I was emanate and radiating love just by my beingness. So now it's a matter of taking that feeling and that knowing and that love and channeling it out to the world through the different things that we can do. But the answer for me has always been the same. My medicine, my tool moving forward, one of the main ones is going to be just being a beacon of love.
01:15:42
Speaker
As crazy as it might sound, I can resonate that. That has happened to me where I've been in such a state, where I'm just smiling ear to ear, and people are like, whoa. And I'm like, whoa, too. I've never experienced this. And how I've experienced this, and this is also getting together, this is a service again. When I experienced that, it actually happened at the one that we were at
01:16:11
Speaker
And was it called Southern California? Where we were at? Malibu. Malibu. Yeah, that's what it's called. And I started that was crazy. I have the ability to pick up on call it empath call it high, highly sensitive person. When I'm around other people, I pick up on their energy and their frequency and have a very hard time differentiating between what is mine and what is not.
01:16:38
Speaker
So even though by you sharing your experience right now, what you have had, part of me knows by the frequency and how you're sharing that, I have now had that experience to a degree too. And especially for in person with Malibu, all these incredible people.
01:16:57
Speaker
I have started with no substances at all on the plane back. I just started having visions. I'm like, this is nuts. Like I saw, for example, our brother, Cal Kingsbury, like I saw a bunch of stuff related to him that I won't share here necessarily, but it was relating to a conversation that we had and it was darkness and all these visuals started coming up. I'm like,
01:17:23
Speaker
Wow. And then when I came out, out of that flight, I was just, I started seeing the geometrical construct behind everything in this world. Like I saw buildings and I saw like, you see, like I had x-ray vision. And I saw what everyone was just doing was just insecure and all they long for was light.
01:17:47
Speaker
and or love and and i was just smiling i'm like like i'm not i'm not high but i'm like i'm experienced is at a different like a different plane of living and i saw saw through things like i've never seen through things and i'm i came home and i saw my wife
01:18:07
Speaker
And there was some, it was just in this incredible state and loving state. And she was like, what's wrong with you? What's going on? I'm like, it's okay. Like I see it's just your, your inner small girl is just sad and all she's longing for is love. And she got super defensive.
01:18:24
Speaker
Because I'm never like this and she's like, who the fuck are you? Like, why? Like, you need to have my permission to start going into my past and who I am and why I react the way I do. But it was it was just and she apologized later because she knew she knew he was just coming from a loving place. But the point of my story is that
01:18:44
Speaker
Love. Yeah, you're right. That's, that's, that's what it's all about. And if we all can just come together and hold less inhibitions and think that we need to be in a certain way, just smile, man. It starts with a smile. Like the smile can change the world because it changes your.
01:19:01
Speaker
changes your chemistry. Number one, you start to get oxytocin, you start to feel serotonin, you start to feel good for yourself. And then you start to exude this. And then you start to tap into that God frequency, which part of that, one of the main things is love, like being in love with yourself. Like it sounds, it doesn't sound weird for me to say it anymore. But if I even said that years ago, it would be like the weirdest thing I ever said, like being in love with myself.
01:19:22
Speaker
And like loving myself like like truly loving yourself is one of the best healing things you can do and a lot of people takes time to get there because we were never taught, we have a ton of trauma. We have a lot of lessons to learn, but that love for yourself and then when you amplify and give it to the world.
01:19:39
Speaker
it will change the world and so then it's a matter of the the the masculine and the doing and the creative side to be able to okay how can i set up this podcast how can i set up this company retreat company how can i you know amplify my message where i have people go out and they speak the same kind of thing so it's just it takes time man but i think we're uniquely positioned this is august 12 2021 this episode will come out on either channel i'd imagine in a week or two but
01:20:06
Speaker
We're uniquely positioned with these types of conversations we're having right now to change the world. And the world is, quote unquote, a lot of darkness right now, pandemic, politics, civil rights stuff that still hasn't been changed through the years. But there's so much love and light that's being, we talked about fit for service and things that you do and things that I do. And everybody that we know collectively, guys like Joe Rogan, Aubrey Marcus, there's this drum beat
01:20:32
Speaker
We have this thing, it's the Hopi prophecy, the rainbow warriors. Have you heard of this before? No.
01:20:39
Speaker
So in this Native American belief structure, it's called the HOPI prophecy. And it talks about the rainbow warriors. The rainbow warriors are going to come when the earth is at its worst. And it's going to be people from all over the world. It's going to be light warriors. It's going to be people that are from different backgrounds, socially, economically, different heritages, customs. And we're all going to unite together to bring the earth back to where it needs to be. We are absolutely there right now as a world.
01:21:08
Speaker
And I know that there's so many people that are talking these kinds of conversations. There's so many people that are raising awareness and consciousness and doing the work that we are uniquely positioned, I believe, in my heart of hearts, that we will triumph. Love will win.
01:21:24
Speaker
Love always wins, man. Yes, it may. Amazing, Jesse. Yeah, brother. I mean, wow. That's all I can say. Thank you. Thank you, brother. I love you. Thanks for this invitation. You're like, why don't we record this? We're having a great conversation. Like, fuck yeah, let's do it. Yeah. Thank you for that invitation, man. For sure. Yeah. Love you too. And wow, have just an amazing day. Yeah, you too, brother. Love you. Love you back.
01:21:55
Speaker
Jesse's just a phenomenal, deep person who's asking big questions and understanding what is he here to do? And being around a person like that, I mean, it elevates me. It makes me vibrate at a whole nother level. I'm so grateful for Jesse and I'm so thankful that you tuned in today to listen and I'm sending you so much love. And if you haven't done so, so far, please leave a five star review or a subscribe or a like.
01:22:24
Speaker
Whatever it is, I highly appreciate it. This helps us spread the message, a healing message to other people. So thank you for listening in and sharing your feedback.