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6 Powerful Prove Ways to Deal With "Failure"
28 Plays11 days ago
If your body's been acting like you failed or you sometimes deal with that, this one's for you. In this episode, we get real about the difference between a failure mindset and the actual fear of failure, and why confusing the two keeps you stuck in shame you were never meant to carry. This isn't spiritual bypassing. It's a raw, honest look at what failure really is (and isn't), backed by wisdom from some of the greats of our time.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- The real difference between feeling like a failure and the fear of failure, and why the distinction changes everything
- Why "false evidence appearing real" doesn't cut it, and what fear actually is
- How to stop letting a failure mindset define your identity
- A body-based practice (the 4D's) to detach and release the story before it becomes who you think you are
- How to give yourself the grace no one else gave you
If you've ever laid awake replaying what went wrong, this episode will help you come home to your power. You are not your outcomes.
***
Join the 21 Resonance Activation and get SOOOOOO much more in the Awakening Lounge: https://www.skool.com/awakening-lounge/about
Get juicy and life elevating resources at https://latoyazavala.com/resources/
Find me on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCz0to_JubLqzQS1OuZdbnuQ
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Transcript
Introduction to 'Freed and Powered Up' Podcast
00:00:00
Speaker
Now, this is really important, right? When we feel that, it will change our perspective if we assign a specific meaning to it about yourself, about others, and about life.
00:00:16
Speaker
And those are like the building blocks of our reality. Okay, so this distinction is going to be really important. So listen in, draw close.
00:00:30
Speaker
Welcome to Freed and Powered Up, the podcast. This space is where you, goddess, source energy, game changer, light seeker, trailblazer, and my sister or brother in arms, stay connected to your inner power and the divine feminine force within you.
00:00:51
Speaker
Let's talk energy mastery, decoding, retruthing, and power activation. I'm your host and your sister, Latoya Zavala. Let's get it.
Understanding Fear of Failure vs. Feeling of Failure
00:01:09
Speaker
Let me be clear. I am not talking about the fear of failure. The fear of failure is a fear. The failure hasn't happened yet, but there's a fear, right? It's the energy around an experience in the past or an observation And then the fear wants to protect you from that happening again or that happening to you.
00:01:33
Speaker
Right. It's a projection of the past onto the future or a projection of what you've what you've observed onto what could be in your future.
00:01:44
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That's the fear. Right. And that projection is like the substance that can stand between you and your dream or who you're becoming or what you're manifesting.
00:01:56
Speaker
It isn't false evidence appearing real. It's a formidable experience that alters your reality. So let me say that again, because I do not believe in that acronym, false evidence appearing real. Your subconscious has decided what evidence is real. Okay. And so now you being aware and awakened to that, you can understand.
00:02:18
Speaker
Alter that reality. You come into your God essence. You come into your source energy. You come into your creative power. You come into your formidable self. Because even though you've experienced formidable things, you are also formidable.
00:02:35
Speaker
And so... The acronym is formidable experience that alters reality and you can alter that. And I just wanted to be clear about my perspective of fear, but I'm not talking about the fear of failure. I'm talking about when you have felt like you messed something up, something's not going right, something's not going according to plan, something's not going according to how you... desired or manifested or scripted, and you feel like a failure.
00:03:03
Speaker
That's what I'm talking about. If you're new here, welcome in, welcome in, welcome to Freed and Powered Up. I'm Latoya Zavala, your energy mastery coach, guide, and practitioner, the founder of the Phoenix Goddess Collective and the Awakening Lounge, where we make magical and powerful shit happen with your identity, your purpose, and your power.
Energetic and Emotional Bodies
00:03:24
Speaker
So let's get into it, right? I just wanted to be clear about the difference between the fear of failure and feeling like a failure, right? So feeling like a failure is in your emotional body.
00:03:39
Speaker
So when we talk about the energetic bodies, you have your physical body, which... right, is your flesh, your muscles, your tissues, right? This is what we walk around in. And then you have your ethereal, your um energetic body, then you have the emotional body, the mental body, and then ah the spiritual body, that outer edge.
00:04:02
Speaker
So that feeling, right, of failure can usually starts and starts to emanate. you know It comes from the mind and then it starts to emanate in that emotional body. I feel like a failure. And the feeling is real.
00:04:21
Speaker
So if you're listening and you felt it, or something doesn't feel like it worked out the way you hoped and the way you were manifesting it to, and you feel like you were doing all the things and you were doing all the things right,
00:04:36
Speaker
And if you're raw like me, it comes out like, man, shit just feels fucked up right now. Right? Or you feel like, damn, I fucked this up. This is a thought, right?
00:04:50
Speaker
It's a thought that turns into a belief and then it travels from your mental body into your emotional body. And it will lock you up.
00:05:02
Speaker
Ask me how I know. Not only have i you know experienced and worked through this myself, but i as a chaplain, I've helped thousands, literally thousands of people move through this, particularly in the military.
00:05:17
Speaker
And then afterwards with my clients, right? It will lock you up. It will taint reality with a very gray, dark perspective um
Perception vs. Reality of Failure
00:05:27
Speaker
and an assignment of what that thing means about you, about others, and about life. Now, this is really important, right? When we feel that,
00:05:39
Speaker
It will change our perspective if we assign a specific meaning to it about yourself, about others, and about life.
00:05:51
Speaker
And those are like the building blocks of our reality. Okay, so this distinction is going to be really important. So listen in, draw close.
00:06:04
Speaker
Okay, the feeling is real. That feeling real. is so important to your reality. The failure is not.
00:06:17
Speaker
I'll say it again. The feeling of failing, it is real. And you know that I'm saying that, right? Because when we're in session and I'm asking you, okay, so where do you feel this thing? You can pinpoint or you can feel in your body where you feel this thing. Your physical body is telling you this feeling is real.
00:06:36
Speaker
And if you ignore it, It will manifest itself in different ways, right? It'll even become diagnoses. So the feeling is real, but the failure is not. And I'm going to break this down. But first, let's pause for a quick uplifting break.
00:07:00
Speaker
I had the pleasure of partnering with Latoya to do a Vedic astrology reading, and it was such a fantastic experience. She made me feel at ease from the moment we hopped on the call. um Even before that, her communication just let me know what to expect, what to come prepared for, and she exceeded my expectations. She first started out by letting me express what it was that was on my heart, what was top of mind for me to get out of the reading. And then she proceeded to help me see how my chart answered the very question that I came into the session with, um on top of so much other rich knowledge about the Vedic astrology system that is so complicated
00:07:50
Speaker
that you need someone like Latoya to explain it. And she does it in a way that's so intuitive, so easy, um just makes you feel seen and heard in ways that um most people don't get from reading an astrology chart or a birth chart on your own. So I would highly recommend Latoya for not only Vedic astrology, but just her vast knowledge of spirituality and the divine feminine.
00:08:24
Speaker
Okay, so as I was saying, this distinction is going to be really important, okay? The feeling is real. It is in your reality. We don't need to negate or deny our bodies, our emotions. We have been taught and conditioned to do that enough, right? Enough of that shit. No more denying or negating your body, your emotions, what you feel.
00:08:50
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They are real, okay? But the failure, the perspective that it is a failure, the assignment that it is a failure, the definition that it is a failure, that is not real.
00:09:03
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Okay. So when we talk about it's real, right, your skin can emote the emotion, right? It can turn hot. It can turn red it can or cold or tightening, right, or closing in your muscles, your your tissues, right, tears. your body is telling you, ooh, what we're feeling.
00:09:26
Speaker
It's real, y'all, right? Your hormone levels ah will emote, right? You may feel something that you can't necessarily name, but you feel it in your body like an ache or a coolness, right? But you feel it inside and you can't necessarily pinpoint where inside, right? It feels weird, right? But It's your body telling you, hmm, we feel something. Pay attention, right?
00:09:52
Speaker
I love that word in in Portuguese, atenção, right? Pay attention. So your body will emote the feeling like you failed. But where did the emotion come from? What was the signal to emote this?
00:10:07
Speaker
Okay. So here's where we get to start changing our reality. The signal came from the definition, the characterization, the belief, and the construction of a failure.
00:10:25
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What you define
Questioning Conditioned Definitions of Failure
00:10:27
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as a failure. How you characterize a failure, what you believe is a failure and the construct, right?
00:10:39
Speaker
The parameters around where that where that belief, where that definition, where that characterization came from. This is really important because you will start to find failure.
00:10:50
Speaker
That some of that defining and characterization, it was not yours originally. And when you go into your source self, when you come into your source energy, you will find, well, I don't even think that's a failure. Here's one of the ways that you can you can figure that out. When you see this happen in your children, right? Something happened, they messed up and they made a mistake. You see it in your children or you see it with your best friend.
00:11:15
Speaker
how you encourage them, how you help them change perspective, how you help them bounce back because you don't see it as a failure, but you were conditioned to characterize and define it as a failure for yourself. And there's a reason for that, right?
00:11:34
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The agenda of you not being in your absolute source power and energy because you would fucking change the world.
00:11:43
Speaker
Yeah, let's pause there. Because you would change the world. At the bare minimum, the world around you. Which you have no idea the infinite potentiality that that could have.
00:12:04
Speaker
So, yeah, and there are some survival codes running in you, right? Of course, some survival codes that, hey, hey, if we fail, we'll be kicked out of the herd or we'll not contribute to the tribe and we'll have to be alone out here and then the lion will eat us, right? And there are some other survival codes in there. i work with six very specific survival codes um that can interfere with your power, right?
00:12:32
Speaker
Interfere with your legacy, interfere with your manifestation. um And one of the most powerful ones have to do with how we define, characterize and operate with fear.
00:12:48
Speaker
So Kobe Bryant, the late Kobe Bryant said, you know, the i he when they were asking him, you know, how does he deal with failure? failure And he said, oh, man, this this idea of failure is so strange to me.
00:13:01
Speaker
And I remember him. I remember like you can look it up on YouTube. Right. But his body, his posture, his facial expression He really felt passionate about that. Like, what are you talking about? you're still alive, if you're not dead and you can get up and you can learn and you can try again.
00:13:22
Speaker
Like, what are you talking about? If you haven't quit. you haven't quit on yourself. If you have not given up. How could you have failed?
00:13:35
Speaker
It just didn't turn out the way you hoped or planned or thought. But you are still in the power of now. You are still in the power of infinite potentiality right now. And universal laws will course correct
00:13:52
Speaker
and help you turn things around for your best and highest good. Nelson Mandela said, I never lose. I either win or I learn.
00:14:03
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Right? The great, great Mama Maya Angelou said, ah you may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated.
00:14:15
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Right? This is identifying yourself. This is your essence, your I am, your sense of self and being in the world. So things may not have turned out right, but that doesn't mean you failed. And it definitely doesn't mean that you are a failure.
00:14:32
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Right?
00:14:35
Speaker
So just breathe with that for a moment and just really, you might want to even touch your chest. You might want to touch your belly, wherever you have felt fear in the past. You might even be feeling something right now where you have felt not necessarily fear, but failure, excuse me, where you have felt failure or that you have failed. Or even right now you're like, but I am feeling the fear of failure because some of that, that conditioning has seeped into the identity.
00:15:04
Speaker
Just breathe with that for a moment.
00:15:09
Speaker
You know, Gary Vee, the motivational speaker, he said the reason why he's so successful, one of the reasons why he's so successful is because he can fail quickly and move on quickly, right? and And in his point of view, he's not he's not a failure.
00:15:24
Speaker
He might consider the thing or the investment a failure, right? But he can get up, he can bounce back and move on quickly, right? That's how he deals with this concept of failure. So,
00:15:36
Speaker
It's the ruminating, the staying in, right? The making overly powerful significance and meaning of it, right? And what I mean is making it a survival instinct when it's not.
00:15:54
Speaker
Right? So whatever may have messed up, whatever may have fucked up, whatever may be wrong or, you know, not in a, not on time or whatever it is, we, we can, we're conditioned to characterize it as life and death.
00:16:11
Speaker
And therefore, of course, then now we were seeping into the energy of failure.
00:16:19
Speaker
So what are you defining as a life and death kind of a thing when it really isn't?
Redefining Failure and Learning Lessons
00:16:28
Speaker
Right. You can tell by the way you're emoting about it, ah how much you're ruminating and emoting over it. You can tell by the way you're speaking about that thing. You can tell by the way you may be shifting your behavior, the way you're relating to other people, because this feeling or this conditioning of failure is really seeping in and starting to take over your codes, take over your life codes, take over your thriving codes. This is what we want to do. We want to shift from survival codes to thriving codes. And what happens is because of the way we've been conditioned to define and characterize failure and to define and characterize and assign significance to ourselves, we
00:17:16
Speaker
we're We're blending, right? We're bleeding between the two. Thriving and survival codes. So what can you do if you you're feeling like a failure, right? Or you feel like you failed.
00:17:31
Speaker
Number one, redefine it. You have that power. You are source energy. You are creator, captain, designer of your right now and the rest of your life.
00:17:49
Speaker
Number two, what's the lesson that you can tell as of now, right? You might be too close to see it at the moment or to see the entirety of the lesson right now, and that's okay. But what might be a small lesson or a little lesson that could even start to shift your perspective right now, shift the emotions in your body, right?
00:18:09
Speaker
ah Start to shift the way that you think and talk about it in your mind. So what's a lesson that you can grab onto right now?
00:18:19
Speaker
Or you might even write that down in your journal and then come back to it later if you're feeling too close to the situation. Number three, teach your body that missing the target is not death, it's not sin, and it's not a tiger.
00:18:35
Speaker
Right. those things are survival mode instincts and they will throw you into those survival mode codes that are so prevalent in our bodies until we start to decode them.
00:18:46
Speaker
Right. So how do you teach your body? um You speak to it kindly, lovingly, with grace. You hug on it. You speak the redefining out loud so that your entire body system understands. understands that you're in recalibration.
00:19:02
Speaker
I use EFT tapping. I use that in the Awakening Lounge and the Goddess Collective because tapping is super powerful, right? Somatics. um I use Reiki energy channeling and clearing um and healing because it was so powerful for me. Literally changed my life.
00:19:18
Speaker
um You can use dancing. I use dancing for myself, right? You can use really powerful clearing meditations. I have a few. I have a few on my web website. ah You can go there, latoyazvalla.com. You can go into the Stand Store.
00:19:33
Speaker
um I'm on Insight Timer, and there are a lot of, um not a lot, but I have quite a few meditations there that can help you clear um and start teaching your body to to recharacterize and reassign significance.
00:19:48
Speaker
ah So there are some ways there teaching your body. um Where are we for? For you can use the four D's detach and decreate across timelines and realities. ah You can speak it out loud. You can do something like snap as you say it so that your entire body system, your source energy is teaching your subconscious um to redefine and to clear that energy of failure. um I'll drop the link of the YouTube video in the show notes, but go ahead. You can go there um and learn about the four D's. I've had people who tell me it's been more powerful than some therapy sessions, um and more powerful than sessions.
00:20:33
Speaker
coaching, you know, so ah workshops and entire coaching programs that they've had. It's really powerful. Okay, so we're at number five, I think. Give yourself grace that you didn't get from anywhere else. This is really, really, really important. This is really what inner child healing and um past lifetime healing, that kind of thing, that's really important. The crooks of it, right? Give yourself grace that you didn't get from anywhere else. Give yourself grace that you were told you could never merit.
00:21:09
Speaker
Give it to yourself. So powerful. Okay. And the last feel it, right? Like honor your body and move the energy again, honor your body, honor what it's already emoting, right? it's If it's already there, you feel it in your body, the tears, the tensing, the sweating, whatever it is, you honor it.
00:21:32
Speaker
It's already come through, right? We're not going to deny it. We're not going to push it away. We're not going to ah compartmentalize it. No, no. Honor your body because if you don't, then you're going to be squishing ah your intuitive gifts um and it's communication to you. You don't want to do that. So honor your body and then move the energy, right?
00:21:54
Speaker
Feel it, honor it, give yourself the grace and then move it with tapping or Reiki or breathing or dancing or creativity or the clearing system,
00:22:09
Speaker
And if this is your protocol, oh you're going to have a powerful, powerful, powerful um time as you move forward with anything that used to be characterized as failures.
Invitation to Join the Community
00:22:24
Speaker
OK, um so just a quick note, if you want support around that, if you're wanting to come into a group that is loving, that is accepting, um that are that is also moving in their source energy, their goddess energy, um that is also aligned in moving towards expanding in their spirituality and their manifesting energy. where there's activations. i have a 21 day activation that we're going through, a 44 abundance activation that you can access. The Awakening Lounge, there's so, so much um powerful resources in there for you that you can move through and you can move through in community. So if I can help you in any way, support you in any way in this, um join the Awakening Lounge. Let's talk about the Phoenix Goddess Collective. Or maybe you need something more personal, but you can contact me at my website, latoyazavala.com, and you can access even more resources there.
00:23:23
Speaker
Remember that you are God energy source. You are here to experience, explore, and expand. So celebrate yourself, my dear, because you are doing just that.
00:23:40
Speaker
Welcome home to your power. You are freed and powered up. See you in the next one. Hey, goddess and those who support them listening in. Thank you so much for sharing this space with me.
00:23:57
Speaker
Here's a quick reminder that if you hit that subscribe button, you won't miss the next powerful episode. And if you share it, we get to elevate together. So share it with that sister you know needs this juiciness in their lives.
00:24:10
Speaker
And definitely check out the links in the show notes. You'll see links to the next events and tap into some free resources and even book a call with me because maybe your soul is calling for a little bit more.
00:24:23
Speaker
Because listen, you don't have to wait until you're ready to be your next level self. You're ready right now.