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"What the hell am I Doing?": Why this feeling happens and what to do about it
20 Plays6 days ago
"What the hell am I doing and where am I?" If you've ever asked yourself that in the middle of an overwhelming, over-comparing, over-coached season of life, this episode is your reminder that you're not lost. In under 20 minutes, I break down why the fog of war hits even the most grounded among us, and sometimes at the most peaceful times of your life. I get into how comparison and misaligned masculine/feminine energy quietly derail your path, and how to find your way back to your own knowing. Real talk, spiritual grounding, and zero fluff.
Let's dive in! And don't forget... share this power with a sister who you know could use it right now.
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Transcript
Introduction to Feeling Lost and Life's Purpose
00:00:00
Speaker
You know those times when you think, what the hell am I doing? and where am i It's like you look up and all of a sudden you feel lost. You feel discombobulated. It's like, what have I been doing this whole time? Where am i Today we're talking about why that question comes up and how to deal with it.
00:00:25
Speaker
Welcome to Freed and Powered Up, the podcast. This space is where you, goddess, source energy, game changer, light seeker, trailblazer, and my sister or brother in arms, stay connected to your inner power and the divine feminine force within you.
00:00:46
Speaker
Let's talk energy mastery, decoding, retruthing, and power activation. I'm your host and your sister, Latoya Zavala. Let's get it.
Personal Experiences and Coping Mechanisms
00:01:03
Speaker
You know those times when you think, what the hell am I doing? and where am i It's like you look up and all of a sudden you feel lost. You feel discombobulated. It's like, what have I been doing this whole time? Where am I?
00:01:22
Speaker
Today we're talking about why that question comes up and how to deal with it. If you're new to Freedom Powered Up the Movement, I am Latoya Zavala. Your energy mastery coach, guide, and practitioner helping you to live your best and fullest life by first decoding, detaching, and clearing the survival codes, the blocking codes, the interference codes that come from culture, society, religion, your family, tradition, and wherever they may come from. So that you can step into the fullest of you.
00:01:57
Speaker
Okay. So this question, what the hell am I doing? right Or the other one, where am I? Like what just happened? Am I lost? Am I on the right track?
00:02:08
Speaker
Am I so far off that I can't come back? What's happening? This comes up for me when I enter what's considered like the fog of war.
00:02:20
Speaker
And that happens in a couple of ways. So the first one is I'm overwhelmed. Okay. And I know that if you're listening and you feel this,
00:02:32
Speaker
Like your body is responding to you right now. Your body is saying to you, oh, ah pay attention. Your body's literally like turning your face into the speaker because you're feeling this.
00:02:48
Speaker
It happens to me when I'm overwhelmed, when I'm stressed. um And life, right? Life is lifing. Currently, I'm assisting my 18-year-old into his adulthood. I'm grieving, right? um I'm grieving and celebrating that at the same time while raising or trying to raise the other two kids, which I'm pretty sure baby girl eight years old is raising me, right? I'm being the best partner I can. I'm healing parts of me that...
00:03:22
Speaker
help our relationship be healthier and the best that it can be. Almost 25 years of marriage and all that that comes with, right? And then I'm creating products. I'm wanting and trying to be in my most creative self um and and also wanting to be in abundance and my wealth flow. considering my life work, considering legacy and realigning to what I desire. Right. And at the same time, serving clients, giving and serving where I can, connecting and being with friends and navigating life with them. And sometimes it just feels like the flow of life.
00:04:07
Speaker
It just feels like sometimes. Right. Sometimes it just feels like the flow of life and we're moving through and sometimes it feels overwhelming. And that could also be with your tides, your cycles, right? How you how you align with moon cycles and menstruation cycles and all of those things. Right.
00:04:31
Speaker
which if you're not tracking that, it might be helpful.
Navigating External Opinions and Comparison
00:04:35
Speaker
You can go to my stand store and grab the moon journal because it has been helpful to me and it has been helpful to so many other people because it might even be a cycle when you're feeling that fog of war. It might be at a particular space in your 28 day, um whether it's moon or menstruation cycle, but it could be just a wave or a phase of life that you're in That's requiring grace, but we'll get there, right?
00:05:00
Speaker
Another way that I experience this fog of war, what feels like confusion or lostness is when I've been listening to too many voices. Mm hmm.
00:05:12
Speaker
Right. Too many voices. I'm listening to, you know, if I'm listening to family members, and people who feel like they have a handle on what's going on with you when they've never navigated what you're navigating. You're listening to this coach and that coach, this successful person, that successful person, the millionaire who did it all while sipping pina coladas on the beach and never sent a single email or made a single post anywhere.
00:05:40
Speaker
Or the other one who sacrificed their livelihood, their sleep, their food, their physical health to make it happen and feel like you should too. Or the one who is so good at pulling those heartstrings and pinching those pain points to the point where you have to click that fucking button and buy something to make it stop. And then you're lured into feeling like, oh my God, if I'm not doing that, I'm trash.
00:06:08
Speaker
Right? And now, another program, another workshop, another formula to spend endless time on outside of your truth, outside of your intuition.
00:06:22
Speaker
outside of your natural rhythm, your sacred flow, outside of your own downloaded knowing, and sometimes outside of your body. like ah Like sometimes you're literally feeling like you've had a total out-of-body experience. And when you come back, you're like, where the hell am I? And what am I doing with me myself? What am I doing with my life?
00:06:49
Speaker
And sometimes the fog gets so thick, like zero feet visibility. I understand. Any of that sound familiar? Yeah. And here's the thing. It feels real. It feels so real.
00:07:07
Speaker
Here's when it can feel so real. Comparison. We compare ourselves to others who seem to be doing it right or getting it right or getting it faster or getting it better. And they're the testimonials for these people. And and you're like, what's wrong with me? You can feel that, right? And you can feel yourself pushing yourself and and fighting yourself almost. And sometimes like feel like you're just running yourself to the ground, trying to measure up to a standard that was never yours.
00:07:39
Speaker
Sometimes it feels real because they're former goals. We compare ourselves now, our now selves, to former goals, outdated goals, outdated identities, outdated ways of being, outdated schedules, goals that seem like we should have, could have, needed to, you know, be, do, have, whatever, right?
00:08:02
Speaker
And sometimes the goals feel like they have a life of their own, like they're more spontaneous than I would like, right? Sometimes the goal can feel like a moving target. One time I was on a call um with a woman and admittedly, it wasn't really an aligned call, right? And she asked the question, which I felt was quite a bit sarcasm, but she asked the question, so how's it going with that goal of reaching 1 million women with your message?
00:08:32
Speaker
And I actually had forgotten that that was the original goal of Frieden Powered Up, the movement. Before I even knew it was a movement, I knew that there was gold. I knew that there was a message. I knew that there was experience.
00:08:49
Speaker
that i was um that I was privileged to have, honored to have as a chaplain for so many years and serving thousands of people, i knew that there was a message that I wanted to reach.
00:09:02
Speaker
ah One million women with that, you have the power to be free. And that message got deeper and stronger and deeper and stronger. But I forgot the original message. And it was because the comparison, the crowding of voices, you know, and so this goal not only became a moving target, but I couldn't, I i forgot it was there.
Balancing Divine Energies and Listening to the Body
00:09:29
Speaker
And coming back to center helped me to clear that fog. It helped me to clear that questioning.
00:09:40
Speaker
It became part of like my North Star.
00:09:47
Speaker
I started having so many goals, goals that I was told that I needed to have, mile markers that I was told that I needed to meet, right? oh, it took me off my path. And it's interesting because just a few degrees off, and next thing I knew, I was like, where am I?
00:10:08
Speaker
Another way it can feel real is when there's an imbalance between the divine male and female energy. So what does that mean? If you're imbalanced and you're leaning too much into the divine female energy, you can feel like you're just floating in the ethers, right? You're just in the meditations. You're in the intuitive space. You're in your third eye seeing, hearing, and you're just there, but you never come down to actually materialize.
00:10:37
Speaker
right? Which is what the manifestation is. And even if it's 80, 20, even if it's 80 divine female energy and 20 masculine energy, there's still the 20 masculine energy. So balance doesn't mean 50, 50, but it means that there's a natural flow, right? Or you can be too much in the masculine energy, right?
00:10:58
Speaker
Which is a lot of us because we come from that patriarchal, uh, Era. doing Doing, doing, doing, doing, and not checking in with your soul, your spirit, your breath, your vision, your intuition, your allowing, and your magic.
00:11:18
Speaker
And other times it feels real, this question of where am I, this lostness, this fog. It feels so real because I'm not grounding in my identity or my purpose or my spiritual practices. Things take over. They seem more urgent. They seem more like they need to be more prioritized.
00:11:38
Speaker
And it's false. And it takes me out of my my personal trajectory, my truth,
00:11:49
Speaker
And the last one I want to mention is when I'm violating my own emotional, ethereal, physical bodies. So violation means I'm not listening to the messages from my emotional body, from my energetic body, right? From my intuition, from my source self, from my higher self, from my physical body. I'm not listening to those messages. I'm not trusting myself.
00:12:14
Speaker
I'm trusting others more than myself. I'm not aligning to what I'm hearing and seeing, I'm not aligning to what I know inside, right? That I know that I know that I know that I know.
Empowerment and Reconnection Tools
00:12:28
Speaker
or i'm I'm there, I'm learning because yes, we get to learn. We get to have coaches. We get to have um these classes and programs. And you also get to filter and choose based on your sacred rhythm, your natural flow, and your true identity.
00:12:48
Speaker
What you're deciding and choosing who you are.
00:12:53
Speaker
So are you really lost? Probably not. And i'm going to break that down in a moment, but let's just take a break for some inspiration and I'll catch you in a second.
00:13:08
Speaker
Three aha moments. I am not alone in this process. There are so many other sisters, individuals out there that are are dealing with some of the same struggles.
00:13:27
Speaker
Two, I'm powerful. I knew I was powerful, but I felt my power. I felt my power coming alive within me.
00:13:40
Speaker
Three, being able to truly accept it and step and step into my power.
00:13:50
Speaker
definitely one of the most profound experiences
00:13:59
Speaker
beautiful welcome back okay are you really lost are you really in a fog is that fog really there are you truly confused and just been wandering all this time probably not You may have wandered off just a bit. You may have gotten off track just a few degrees.
00:14:24
Speaker
You may have had shiny object or shiny person syndrome. Nobody's ever said that. Yeah, it can be shiny person. Or slipped into not feeling enoughness for a moment and started believing someone else's script rather than fully immersing yourself in writing your own.
00:14:49
Speaker
Listen, you are a trailblazer and you just forgot just for a moment. You got overwhelmed just for a moment. You are a revolutionary and you just forgot.
00:15:05
Speaker
Just got off track just for a little bit. You forgot. You are creator and you slipped into the shadow side just for a moment, just for the experience.
00:15:20
Speaker
You actually do know who you are and you do know where you're going and you do know your aligned soul path. Your subconscious knows. Your energetic bodies, they know.
00:15:35
Speaker
And especially if you've worked with me, if you've gotten your your sessions, you've gotten your soul path readings, you know
00:15:47
Speaker
Just forgot, just for a little, just been listening to too many voices just for a moment. You've maybe been in a field or ah had an experience or been around people who just overwhelmed and overcrowded your senses.
00:16:06
Speaker
It's okay. You are source energy. You are creating a field of infinite potentiality in the right now. And even if you forget here and there, even if you forgot just yesterday, even if you forgot just before you listened to this podcast, that's okay.
00:16:28
Speaker
Now you are reminded. You are a trailblazer. You are a revolutionary. You are creator. You are source energy.
00:16:39
Speaker
You are creating in the field of infinite potentiality. You are magic. You are power. You are impact.
00:16:53
Speaker
So answer the questions, you know, when they come like, what the hell am I doing? Or where am i Answer the questions. Just take a moment.
00:17:04
Speaker
Silence yourself. Come away.
00:17:09
Speaker
and speak those new codes into your system because you do have the answers. And if you have a hard time with what those answers are, connect with me. Let's do a Reiki session because Reiki re-centers.
Community and Support Resources
00:17:22
Speaker
It gets me right back on track. It gets my clients right back on track. It reminds... It pulls from within you, not from me, not from outside. it pulls from within you, connects you, grounds you back to the center and the source and the core of you.
00:17:42
Speaker
And then we sprinkle that with some of your birth chart reading and your soul path.
00:17:49
Speaker
Magic. So in the meanwhile, I have some grounding meditations and some walking meditations on Insight Timer. There's a timeline meditation in my stand store.
00:18:00
Speaker
um Lots of resources. So go to my web website, latoyazavala.com slash resources, and you can get your resources. um There's a lot there. so I'm here to serve you.
00:18:15
Speaker
If you feel so called, come on into the Awakening Lounge and you can do all of the resourcing with community. and We have so much there.
00:18:26
Speaker
Activations, meditations. I'm meeting with the goddesses every week. We're tapping, we're recalibrating with group Reiki. We're supporting each other where we're celebrating each other. I'm doing astro drops with the full moons and the new moons and what that means. So you can walk in your sacred rhythms.
00:18:45
Speaker
So much there. It's $9 a month now. ah It will move to $22 a month because the library is just growing, growing, growing. And the energetic match of value.
00:18:55
Speaker
It will never be because the value is immense and intense, right? But yeah. So come on in if you feel so called, you want to talk about the Phoenix Goddess Collective, connect with me. I'm here to support.
00:19:09
Speaker
Okay, I will be with you in the next one. I'm sending you so much love and power always. Bye for now. Hey, goddess and those who support them listening in. Thank you so much for sharing this space with me.
00:19:26
Speaker
Here's a quick reminder that if you hit that subscribe button, you won't miss the next powerful episode. And if you share it, we get to elevate together. So share it with that sister you know needs this juiciness in their lives.
00:19:40
Speaker
And definitely check out the links in the show notes. You'll see links to the next events and tap into some free resources and even book a call with me because maybe your soul is calling for a little bit more.
00:19:52
Speaker
Because listen, you don't have to wait until you're ready to be your next level self. You're ready right now.