Transcript
Speaker: Hello beautiful soul and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with Sol podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
Speaker: Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
Speaker: If you've struggled putting everybody else first or battled self-doubt, you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. it's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself. So come grow with me.
Speaker: So this month, I have been really focusing on being an introvert, what that means, what that doesn't mean, and allowing for space for also people having their own experiences with it. I feel like, I think I talked about in the last episode how I kind of feel like I fall into maybe that stereotypical experience of what an introvert is, yeah.
Speaker: but It's also a little bit validating. i don't know if you guys feel the same way. i have kind of felt that way. i kind of felt that way even back when I took like my very first Myers-Briggs test when I was in high school.
Speaker: And I was like, okay, this kind of makes sense for who I am. but Overall, like i again, to kind of give it like a little bit of a recap with like introversion and like what that is, um and what I really want to focus on in today's episode is like friendship and that dynamic, that like social interaction dynamic portion. Because one of the traits that was listed as part of being an introvert was in the last episode was that of having deep but fewer friendships and I want to dig into that because that that resonated with me.
Speaker: Let me know in the comments if that resonated with you, if you are also an introvert. And I feel like maybe, i don't know, if it's just observational um from what I've seen throughout life, a lot of introverts I feel like can relate to that.
Speaker: And, you know, if you're introverted, you've probably noticed that you've had this experience of like clicking with someone and totally vibing. But then also noticing that you can be like really quiet around certain people or perhaps maybe certain types of people, maybe people with like a certain like personality trait or personality type, just a little bit more quiet.
Speaker: Or maybe you don't know why you're little quiet around someone else, but he just kind of are. So some of the context for this conversation that I want to provide and what like basically inspired this series. um For me, my experience growing up, I was consistently told that I was shy.
Speaker: And whether that was people telling me like, oh my God, you're so shy, or me hearing people tell other people about me that I'm shy. Especially like as a little kid, your parents are introducing you to someone. You're like, you are a stranger. I do not want to speak to you. Why are you looking at me?
Speaker: That experience as a kid. And then like your parents are like, say hi to this strange person. and you're like, no, I don't know him. i don't know her. And it's like, oh, she's just shy. Which is so funny because I say that about Mochi now. Mochi's my dog and he is shy, okay He doesn't like people.
Speaker: He's very much like his mom, I suppose. um But for me, especially back then, um i never really liked or appreciated the negative connotation that came with being labeled as shy. um i would even say that socially, societally, to this day, we don't really view shyness as a positive trait. It always has this negative connotation.
Speaker: And, you know, little Marisol clocked it, clocked that ish quickly. Okay. Even as a little kid. And at the end of the day, i don't really think i was ever shy.
Speaker: um You know, I do think that I was just, I feel like kids are just more honest about themselves You know, like there's no filter there with the kids. So when you're really introverted and you're just like stranger danger, like I don't know you, i don't like you, i don't like your vibe, but you don't know how to express that as kid, you're just kind of like,
Speaker: You know, it's it's that same type of brutal honesty, just in a different way. But over the years, whether it was in childhood, my teenagers, even like my early adulthood, did notice that there were always certain people that I spoke freely with more openly, more comfortably,
Speaker: even from the jump. and that was like, even when I was first getting to know them. And I've come to recognize that there are certain types of people, certain individuals that are simply not quote unquote draining.
Speaker: it was, you know, hearkening back to the the energy consumption um of introversion versus extroversion. Some people are just a little bit more taxing.
Speaker: Some people just take a little bit more energy to be around, you know? And some people don't.
Speaker: I can't really tell you what it is. It's something I still try to observe when I when i recognize it's happening. I'm like, why? Why is this person so much? Sometimes it's just because they're a loud person.
Speaker: It's like, why why are you so loud? Why do you have so much energy right now? Like, oh, I need to, you know? But sometimes I'm just like, i don't I don't understand why you're draining me so much right now.
Speaker: So I try to observe what it is. Maybe it's something about their personality, um you know, with certain people, maybe like welcomes interaction, whereas maybe other people demand interaction or attention.
Speaker: You know, maybe that's what it is. Maybe. i i need a i need to sit with it a little bit longer when it happens again. But i I'm at a point in my life where I don't really meet a lot of new people. Yeah. You know, you it's i hang out with my peeps and not even that often.
Speaker: like I don't know. i should socialize more. Mochi and I need to socialize more. um So, yeah, there is that. And I would notice in my observations that i would when I would first meet people who would like would welcome interaction instead of demanding attention, that would be like, oh my God, hey, I'm getting rid of my shyness. I'm totally like, you know, vibing with people, making friends.
Speaker: But then I would find myself in a completely different situation where somebody is a little bit more demanding energetically And then how I felt so drained. But in the meantime, while it was happening, I would feel exhausted, awkward.
Speaker: it would just feel like everything I say doesn't quite fit the vibe. Or maybe I should just like stop trying to talk, you know? Like you that there's always that like awkward situation of like, what and why aren't I vibing with this person?
Speaker: And there can be like multiple reasons as to why that is. And you just kind of, hmm. I don't, at this point in my life, I just accept and I don't try to figure it out anymore. But when I was younger, i would try to figure it out and be like, what am I doing wrong when that's not true? Sometimes you just don't vibe with people, which is the truth of it all.
Speaker: Whether you're extroverted or introverted or whatever it might be, sometimes you just don't vibe with people. And potentially, potentially, anecdotally, observationally, maybe,
Speaker: Maybe as introverts, we tend to just not vibe with a lot of people in general, whereas extroverts are out there vibing with everybody. And it's like, how are you human?
Speaker: You know, how do you how do you do this? Because i do that. when I have to. but but Again, like I mentioned in previous episodes, I know how to extrovert.
Speaker: I can do the thing. I'm just going to be need to be alone for like five business days afterwards, you know? But again, if you've ever experienced what I've been talking about, where like you're drained or you're not vibing and you're like, why is this awkward? Why is this feel like trying? And like, you know, like with other people, I vibe, but like here it's like weird.
Speaker: It's not because you're shy. it's not big i I would honestly even say it's not even because you're introverted sometimes. it's And it's not because you're quote unquote failing to get rid of this shyness that I would say others have like put onto you as a label.
Speaker: At the end of the day, the older I get, it's simply because they are not your people. it It's really just that. And you might think, well, they should be my people. I've been there. Like, why aren't these my people? They should be my people. That would make sense.
Speaker: Eh.
Speaker: Eh. You go to the same school. Maybe it's your own family. Like, maybe you do the same, like, you know, hobby or whatever. e Maybe they're just not your people.
Speaker: And that's fine. Maybe they're not supposed to be your people. Your other people are elsewhere. And that's cool. Plain and simple.
Speaker: And again, like I mentioned before, like i would wager that when you're introverted, the segment of the population who is quote unquote your people is going to be smaller than like our extroverted counterparts, you know?
Speaker: But ultimately, that's really it. And I hope that if you are introverted and struggling with shyness or have struggles with the past, or maybe you find yourself in a situation in the present day where you're like, hmm, why does this feel weird or something? I'm in a social situation.
Speaker: you know? Sometimes you just got to accept what's happening in front of you and be like, oh, this is not my person. These are not my people. And that's cool. Like the acceptance there is powerful.
Speaker: Honestly, acceptance in most areas of life is very powerful in and of itself. But when applied to this, I know that in my experience, it has brought me peace of mind and ultimately a lot more confidence.
Speaker: you know That's something we talk about a lot on this podcast in general, something I talk about a lot with my clients as well. And acceptance of who we are and how things tend to be for us is powerful. Whether it is you're accepting it and not trying to change it because it is what it is. That's how I ended up at my, how I feeling about being so introverted.
Speaker: That's never going to change about me. And I don't mind. I kind of like it. Kind of like being an introvert, okay? I am biased though. But just find comfort in that as well if that's something that you are struggling with or even have struggled with in the past.
Speaker: um You know, sometimes people just aren't your people, even from the jump. Like sometimes you're just not buying somebody and you met them like literally 10 minutes ago and it's like, why is this person...
Speaker: Not trying to talk to me, you know? Sometimes you vibe, sometimes you don't. And it's just not that deep. It doesn't have to be. You don't need it to be, even for yourself, if it is for the other person, you know?
Speaker: so ultimately, you are not shy. There is nothing wrong with you. They're just not your people. And that's okay. If this episode resonated with you, definitely let me know in the comments. Let me know if you're introvert and if you have experienced something like this as well.
Speaker: Again, you know, if it resonated with you, give it a like, give it a thumbs up, share it out with somebody as well, an introvert that you know in your life who could definitely use this message. Don't forget to subscribe. And if you are watching this on YouTube, hey, thanks. I definitely appreciate that.
Speaker: um Also, don't forget to follow me along as well. You can find me on Instagram, on TikTok, at yourcoachmati. And of course, if you would like some extra support in your journey, maybe accepting your introverted ways, I am accepting clients. You can schedule your very own discovery call with me through the link in the show notes.
Speaker: Until next time, keep growing.
