Transcript
Speaker: Hello beautiful soul and welcome back to another installment of the Growing with podcast where we explore the moments and stories that shape who we're becoming. I'm Marisol and this is where I love to have real conversations about growth, self-discovery and learning to put yourself first.
Speaker: Whether we're diving into books that change our perspective or unpacking personal experiences that teach us something new, this podcast is for women who are done playing small and are ready to embrace their own journey.
Speaker: If you've struggled putting everybody else first or battled self-doubt, then you're in the right place. This isn't about perfection. It's about the messy, beautiful process of growing into yourself.
Speaker: So come grow with me.
Speaker: I've been feeling... all types of ways lately. But one of the one one of the things, one of the ways, of the many ways that I can feel, and I've been feeling a bit restless, a little frustrated lately.
Speaker: But it's like that kind of frustration that can fly under the radar. Do you know what i mean? Have you ever felt that way? Where like, it's the kind of frustration that isn't glaring And you can kind of just put it to the side for now, you know? It's like, I feel it.
Speaker: It's like a little, it's like little, a little like, a little annoyance of a frustration that you're like, okay, I know you're there, but let me just put you to the side. Let me just put you over there for a moment. Let me figure out other things and then I'll get to you later, but then you never do. So it's just there under the radar, annoying you, frustrating you, making you feel restless.
Speaker: For me, that restlessness, that frustration always goes back to feeling stuck. And you might be thinking right now, what what does this what does this have to do with gratitude and self-esteem?
Speaker: Don't worry, we are about to get into that. So first things first, as per, let's define our terms. And I know that might seem a little ridiculous at this point, given a pulp culture, pop psychology. We all kind of know what gratitude is, but I can't. I can't. I can't move forward without us all having the same understanding of gratitude per this episode. So as defined in an article by Psychology Today, gratitude is the expression of appreciation for what one has.
Speaker: It is a recognition of value independent of monetary worth, spontaneously generated from within. it is an affirmation of goodness and warmth.
Speaker: What a beautiful thing as we are going into the fall where we can get cozy and have that warmth inside, okay? Anyway, gratitude is cozy and fall coded. That is what I'm saying.
Speaker: Anyway, before I... venture into my cozy girl fall. it It's not even, was still in the high 80s in Los Angeles. Like, who am I kidding? Myself.
Speaker: Anyway, that is our definition, our working definition of gratitude for this episode. Let's keep that in mind as we move forward. and When we go back to what I was discussing earlier of feeling stuck, feeling frustrated, feeling as if like nothing's working, I'm making no progress, and all of those beautiful thoughts and feelings that we can have about ourselves, our lives, our careers, our personal lives, our families, our friendships, any goal that you might have ever on the planet, you know? That.
Speaker: What can often happen for us as individuals is that we can feel like we're just trudging along on the hamster wheel of life, okay? Where we are running our little patitas off and just running on that little hamster wheel, putting in a thousand percent effort and getting very little reward or forward progress.
Speaker: That's what causes the frustration. and what can happen is that we can like bypass that emotion and we can often
Speaker: not take into account all of the little micro wins that we are actually making while we are just putting in the thousand percent effort for seemingly no reward.
Speaker: Because it's nigh impossible to put in so much effort and not make any kind of progress. Because honestly, even if you're making mistakes, then you're learning that something doesn't work for you.
Speaker: You're like, fantastic. Like, that doesn't work for me. Great. I know that now. I can move forward with more knowledge and more wisdom. So you is that that that's what I'm talking about when it comes to the micro wins.
Speaker: It might feel like a loss, but really, it's a lesson. And I know that it's frustrating to hear that, but it is the truth. Okay? So let's go with that micro win as an example.
Speaker: However, some other beautiful things when it comes to micro wins. So essentially, you are so focused, so tunnel visioned on that ultimate goal, whether that goal is your career, your finances, dating, whatever it might be, that you're not really seeing the beauty of where you currently are.
Speaker: So meaning all the progress that you've made, which can look like Not taking into account the $3,000 you have in your savings. that Not taking into account the wonderful relationship that you have with your family.
Speaker: Or maybe not taking into account all the beautiful friendships that you have. Maybe new friendships that you've been able to make and maintain over the years. And maybe that might even be with friends that you don't get to see as often as you would like, but they are still there.
Speaker: And, you know, you guys still check in with each other. So when we are so focused on the goal, one, we do not see all the little micro wins. Like maybe you want to have $10,000 saved in your emergency fund, but you only have $3,000.
Speaker: It might feel like you're so fucking far away from that goal. But maybe $3,000 is fucking amazing. And let's take a moment to appreciate that.
Speaker: And also the greater context in which we live. That is one thing that I actually have talked about a lot with different clients of mine where they feel this frustration and maybe there's a little bit of comparison to other people in their lives, in their circles who are quote unquote, doing better.
Speaker: But when you actually take a moment to pause and look at the full context of your life, you're able to see and appreciate that maybe you're facing certain challenges that these other people might not be facing. Maybe you have to, you've had to overcome certain challenges that supposedly slowed you down along your journey towards this goal.
Speaker: but you're still moving forward. You've still managed to save the $3,000 on the path to getting that 10K in your savings.
Speaker: And that's something to be very proud of. And then again, also within the greater context, like maybe there is an area in life that you are struggling that is progressing much more slowly than you anticipated, but that doesn't take away from, we shouldn't let it take away from all of the other beautiful things in our life.
Speaker: Because we do have, I promise you, there are beautiful things in your life that maybe right now you're just in too much in a frustrated place to truly appreciate. And that's not to say you shouldn't be frustrated.
Speaker: i am not a proponent of that like toxic positivity. That kind of scares me a little bit. All right? I'm not i'm not one of those people. If you are frustrated and upset, feel it and let's talk about it.
Speaker: And at the same time, let's not be chronically frustrated. Let's take a moment to show gratitude for what we do have and the progress we have made, even if it's not at the pace at which you originally wanted to make progress.
Speaker: So ultimately, this can lead you to feel like you're behind, naturally. or like maybe you don't have it in you to achieve your goals. That's the scary one to really to really settle in with.
Speaker: But when you start feeling that way, like you're behind, like maybe you're not good enough, like maybe you don't have it in you, like maybe you're not smart enough, maybe it's your work ethic, whatever it might be, it when you have that doubt, it starts lowering your self-esteem and your confidence.
Speaker: And then we get into that self-fulfilling prophecy where you're never reaching your goals because effectively you are now proving yourself right. You're proving that self-fulfilling prophecy correct, that you are not smart enough or deserving enough or whatever it might be, skilled enough to get to that goal. When really that's not the case.
Speaker: It's not. But you got in your head about it. A gratitude practice, jumping back into that piece, a gratitude practice, however, has been widely linked to improved psychological well-being.
Speaker: Pause, because well all the stuff that I just mentioned, when we get in our heads about it, can lead us to a dark place, an unfulfilling place.
Speaker: So if we start to practice gratitude, which does improve psychological well-being, that can be a tool to help us be more resilient and to reach our goals.
Speaker: So what are some of the benefits that we already know about when it comes to having a gratitude practice? Reduce stress. who Who does not need to reduce their stress in this world, okay? We all could use some stress reduction. So reduce stress, better sleep,
Speaker: Reduced anxiety and depression. Those are just some of the improvements that come along with a gratitude practice. However, and the crux the crux of this entire episode, it can also improve self-esteem.
Speaker: When we practice gratitude... for things in our life, things that we have brought to fruition in our lives, maybe even aspects of who we are, things that we have done, things that we have achieved, it can positively impact how we feel about our own worth.
Speaker: And we've talked about self-worth lot in previous episodes of this podcast and how when we have low self-worth, it can lead to really negative outcomes. So if having, say, a daily gratitude practice can improve your own self-worth, I would then also extend that to...
Speaker: including your abilities, your skills, your knowledge, your ability to learn and adapt effectively. And all of those things that I just mentioned are wonderful tools when we are looking to achieve something we've never achieved before, perhaps.
Speaker: So how does one practice gratitude? Easy peasy way to do it, journal. That's one of the best ways to do it. And I am saying this as somebody who doesn't even journal consistently. Like I journal in times of crisis. That's when I journal, which I'm not proud of that fact. I wish I would journal more often. I feel like if I were to write more in any capacity, it would be good for my writing and creativity in general. But do I journal? No.
Speaker: Nope, nope, nope. I don't journal that often. So I am right there with you. If you're like, girl, I'm not going journal. What you're talking about? It's Okay. is Okay, I get it. Another thing that we can do is also just making a mental note.
Speaker: That might be more effective. Like maybe. i love using a planner. Okay, I love using planners. i i but Nearly every day i use a planner.
Speaker: In the planner I use, it does have one line of like, what are you grateful for today? and honestly, for the last like maybe month, Yeah, maybe month.
Speaker: I've been putting myself. Like, what are you grateful for today? Myself. I put my friends and my family um in there too. But for the most part, I've been putting that I'm grateful for myself. And maybe I need a journal to dissect that to see what I really mean about that. Because it's just like, yeah, myself, I am.
Speaker: So and great for my self-worth. Hey. um But sometimes it's not like a whole like journal entry. You don't need to commit to like writing an essay of your gratitude.
Speaker: But maybe it's just like one line. a one-liner of what you're going for that day. Just one thing. Maybe you want to journal more. Maybe you just want to do that mental note. If neither of those things sound appealing to you, it's okay. There is another fantastic way to practice gratitude, and that is expressing appreciation and gratitude for others in your life.
Speaker: Because if you start telling other people how much you appreciate that thing they did, the the effort they put into a certain project, maybe a gift that they gave you, maybe whatever it might be, just showing some kind of appreciation for and towards someone else is a way to practice gratitude.
Speaker: And it's one of those things where like you feel good because you can see that the other person feels really appreciated and like loved and all that stuff from what you said. You know that everybody's over here feeling that that like what was in the definition earlier, that goodness and warmth. We're all sharing in that goodness and warmth and the gratitude.
Speaker: So not only are you doing a beautiful thing in expressing gratitude to someone else, but then now you also feel good for seeing somebody else benefit from the good thing that you did. positive energy all around. Okay?
Speaker: So i would say choose one of those and like try it out over the next two weeks and then circle back to see if it has made a difference. If you are feeling better, if maybe you're noticing other people moving a little bit differently, little bit more confidently, because then the other person is now saying, hey, when I do X, Y, and Z, people really take notice of the effort I put into things.
Speaker: I feel like I'm also improved in my self-worth and what have you. So we're all just getting higher self-esteem and confidence all around because of one person's gratitude practice.
Speaker: Needless to say, have you already been doing a gratitude practice? I feel like it's a very common thing for a lot of people in the wellness space to do It's one of those things that personally I start and then stop, start and stop. You know what i mean? But I guess I have like a very small one in like my planner, but that's also because it's already written into my planner. That's why I do it every day almost. But are you new to gratitude? Let me know in the comments down below if you are I'm always interested to see where people are in their journeys.
Speaker: Nonetheless, thank you all for joining in today. if this episode resonated with you, definitely let me know in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe, especially if you are here on YouTube. Hey, what's up? Thank you for tuning in and on the channel.
Speaker: And also, if you are on any other podcast platform, leave a review, leave little five star review you've been enjoying the podcast as a whole. And don't forget to share it out to somebody who you think you could need to hear this message.
Speaker: As always, if you are looking for some help, maybe in your gratitude practice, maybe in your own self-esteem journey, I am a certified life coach and I am currently accepting clients. So you can schedule your own call with me through the link in the show notes.
Speaker: And as always, until next time, keep growing.
