Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
The Legend of Sawney Bean
80 Plays1 year ago
This week, come with us to Scotland as Kayley tells us about the infamous Alexander “Sawney” Bean—the story of a cannibal family that left Scottish travelers wary of caves for hundreds of years.
Sources:
https://www.historic-uk.com/HistoryUK/HistoryofScotland/Sawney-Bean-Scotlands-most-famous-cannibal/
https://allthatsinteresting.com/sawney-bean
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to Podcast and Episode
00:00:02
Speaker
Hey, I'm Kaylee. And I'm Sierra. And this is True Crime and Punishment. Episode two of season two, today Kaylee will be telling us about cannibals. The Scottish ones. Oh, I think cannibals of any nationality are a problem.
00:00:17
Speaker
And I don't think that's a controversial statement. That's right, today we're going to be talking about Sony Bean and the infamous Scottish Bean clan. You can thank my mother for this episode. She's not a true crime person. I said it before, she doesn't like true crime, but she loves her children.
The Bean Clan: Myth or Reality?
00:00:38
Speaker
Therefore, she listens to our podcast. She's currently on the Tylenol episode. Thanks, mom. But she, I guess she was reading a book where this case was referenced and she was like, and I thought, what was it? She texted me and she said, I was listening to your podcast today. I was listening to podcasts today because it was a typo. And I was like, what podcast? And she was like, the one, your podcast. And I was like, you were listening to my podcast. And she was just, yeah. And I have a case for you. And so she texts me.
00:01:08
Speaker
about something that actually managed to truly disturb me because I don't do cannibals. Most people don't, I think. Yeah, that's an asinine thing to say, isn't it? I tend to stay away from cannibal cases because I think I've said it before, I'm a vegetarian.
00:01:31
Speaker
So, like, I don't even eat animal meat. So the thought of someone eating people meat really... Ugh, okay. Um, so this is gonna be a short appetizing... Yeah, no. No, it's not my idea of a good time, but I don't think it's many people's idea of a good time. But today's episode is going to be a little bit shorter. I believe we mentioned it at the end of last week's episode.
00:01:58
Speaker
where this is a case where it's so old that it's more myth than fact, which makes me feel better about the world I live in, but it also means that there is some...
Sawney Bean's Origins and Crimes
00:02:10
Speaker
Oh, sorry. There's some comfort to that, the idea that, well, maybe it just got blown out of proportion. Hopefully. Yeah, hopefully. But that means there's not like an exact trail to follow. There's just, um,
00:02:25
Speaker
basically the story and then what got Sony being caught. And if I'm not saying that correctly, I apologize. From what I understand, this is how you say it. I saw people with actual Scottish accent saying, Sony, and I will not attempt a Scottish accent. I was about to ask, can you do this whole story, the Scottish accent? I can barely speak with like,
00:02:46
Speaker
an American accent well, so I'm not going to try and put that on anyone else to listen to that for up to an hour. I want you to know, Sierra, that within this case, like the paper that I've written up, usually my write ups, I tend to go instead of bullet point, I try and do almost like a script because I distract myself very easily. And today there's a part where I just have emergencies. Leave this space for me and Sierra to gag about how freaking nasty that is. That is a direct line.
00:03:15
Speaker
So it's gonna be pretty gross. Uh-oh. This is your official content warning, I guess. Cannibalism. Cannibalism? Cannibalism. All right, without further ado, we're gonna talk about Sawney Bean, the Scottish cannibal killer in the Bean family. Okay, so Sawney Bean was said to be born in
Life in the Cave: Family, Crime, and Cannibalism
00:03:40
Speaker
East Lothian, which is about like 10-ish miles away from Edinburgh.
00:03:45
Speaker
His full name was Alexander Sawney Bean. And Sawney is like a nickname for Alexander. So he was referred to as Sawney Bean, like Sander. Sawney. It's got a shack sense. We all see how we got there.
00:03:59
Speaker
That's actually kind of cute and now that bothers me. Yeah, so as I said, let's start off by saying that this story cannot be confirmed to be entirely true and accurate. It may very well be the stuff of legends and given the facts of this case, we'll probably sleep better if we tell ourselves this is nothing but fiction.
00:04:21
Speaker
So, Sonny was said to be born either during the reign of James I of Scotland in the 1400s or during the reign of James VI in Scotland, who would be the first James or James I of Ireland. That's the same person. James VI of Scotland is the same as James I of Ireland.
00:04:39
Speaker
And so James VI would have been, his reign was from 1567 to 1603, so that's the timeline we're looking at. It depends on what kind of circle of legend you're following. I tend to kind of think that
00:04:53
Speaker
it's more likely to be during the reign of James VI because the story of the being clan began to be written down and we can see in history starting in like 1770s, I believe the specific year was 1775. So it makes more sense that this would have happened in the late 1600s or the early 1700s and not back in the 1400s and then be written down later. But either way, it's kind of, it makes sense that it had been passed down from generation from like word of mouth instead of like written down.
00:05:23
Speaker
But it was believed that Sony was the son of a hedger and ditcher and basically, you know, Doug ditches and that he himself was a tanner. So he worked with like animal skin, leather maker kind of thing. Did that send him at a downward spiral to his new career path? I say he got some knowledge from the job. Uh, yeah.
00:05:50
Speaker
Not much is really known about his early life, but we do know that he married a woman reportedly by the name of Black Agnes Douglas. Sonny and good old Agnes would marry, and then facing some financial hardship, they would relocate to Ayrshire
00:06:07
Speaker
The couple would make themselves at home in Benang Cave. This cave is a connection of tunnels that kind of eventually opens up into an actual cave system, like a bigger open room. It said that there's a ton of different connecting tunnels throughout this cave system, and it's more than a mile long. So it's not as much undergrad from what I can see the pictures that I saw. They didn't go a mile down, obviously, but they're like a mile back.
00:06:37
Speaker
So it was a very, very large cave system. The caves are also reported to have many side passages that the couple would kind of convert over the next 25 years, make this cave a home. This, you know, while this sounds like my actual worst claustrophobic nightmare, the beans seem to enjoy their new cave troll existence and they would soon welcome many, many little baby beans.
00:07:06
Speaker
into their cave home. But before Sony could grow his garden of baby beans, he would first have to find a way to support the new Mrs. Bean. Despite reporting to have been a tanner by trade, it didn't seem that Sony was really keen to spend his life as a tradesman. So what is a man to do when he has a want for money but no want for regular work or skilled labor?
00:07:30
Speaker
Theft and battery, of course. Sony would turn
Discovery and Capture of the Bean Family
00:07:33
Speaker
to robbery to put food on the cave table in more ways than one. Sony would begin to ambush and rob travelers on the road between villages. From what I understand, the cave was located on these winding long roads between different villages and outposts. So it was kind of in the middle of nowhere. So if you're going to rob people, excellent place to do it, I guess.
00:07:55
Speaker
Yeah, it's gonna be like the 40 thieves kind of vibe to it. I like it. I mean, bong, but effective. Long and effective.
00:08:07
Speaker
So yeah, they were just connected by these long and lonely roads. So after beginning his illustrious robbery career, Sonny would have to consider how can he evade capture, because he is just robbing these people. While he could rob travelers and disappear into his caves, the travelers were going between villages, so they had a place to stop. Villages had people, and people didn't take too kindly to robbers hiding in caves and making the roads dangerous. So what do you do to evade capture?
00:08:34
Speaker
Unfortunately, Sony would think about this and eventually this would lead to an epiphany. Deadman can't bring back justice. So Sony decided to finally use his Tanner trade to murder his victims and dismember their bodies to avoid capture or identification.
00:08:51
Speaker
Oh my goodness. So his plan was to kill the travelers, steal their money, and then he would just go about his life. He had no one to identify him, no one to stop him. And if you think back, this is likely happening in the late 1600s, 1700s. Who knows? You don't even know where someone has disappeared from, just that they're gone. And like, oh, I heard he was traveling from here to here and someone else could see him there to there. But in terms of opportunity, this is an excellent opportunity.
00:09:21
Speaker
And with a mile or so of cave, you got tons of little hiding places. So he decided, when he decided to murder people, that he had two birds to kill and he would kill them with the one stone.
00:09:36
Speaker
No pun intended. So one bird was how to evade identification and capture, and he killed that bird by using his ability to tan animals, like the knowledge of that, to kill and dismember people. The other bird was the fact that he would have to make repeated trips into town for provisions. To kill this bird, Sony decided that dismembering the bodies was not enough. He would dismember and butcher the remains and bring the remains back home for him and his family to eat.
00:10:07
Speaker
Oh, no. This is where we're leaving the space for you and me to gag about how nasty that is. But this feels like a circular problem to me. You don't want to work to get money to buy things like provisions. So instead of working, you're going to rob people so you can get money to buy provisions. But now you're robbing people and killing people so you cannot get caught for robbing people and killing them so you don't have to work.
00:10:34
Speaker
for your money to get provisions but now you're robbing and killing people for their money and to eat them so now you don't need provisions and it's just like i feel like this is like the what is the ouroboros the snake eating its tail it's just like circular reasoning reasoning at its finest yeah if you didn't like being a tanner like surely there were some other options
00:10:54
Speaker
I mean, I don't think you have to pay rent for a cave. Oh, my goodness. But his kids, he fed that to his kids. He fed them flesh of humans. They were raised on human flesh. That's the story of Sony. That's nasty. Like, like, it's just it's I'm pretty sure that I've ever came down to it and it was like
00:11:22
Speaker
either eat this person or die, I'd be like, I'm going home to Jesus. I would die. This is my end. Thing is, I would stay alive, but I wouldn't be alive, like living after that. There's no recovery.
00:11:36
Speaker
I think there's something, oh, sorry. I feel like there's something, I don't know, people are to an extent like sacred. I understand that we have a soul and a spirit, so we're not just all flesh and bone, but the body is a part of the person. I don't think you should violate that in any way, shape, or form, including eating them.
00:12:00
Speaker
Yeah, I think there are things in nature, even taking the religion out of it, that say you shouldn't eat the flesh of your own. Like you think of mad cow disease, which is what cows get when they eat cow, they get mad cow disease. It's not good for you. You can think of diseases you can get, what is it, kuru? Where it's a disease you get by eating human brain. I think there's stuff that happens in nature.
00:12:28
Speaker
whether or not you believe in the divine, like Sierra and I do, and you believe that there's a creation aspect to that, or you believe that nature gets its own, it shows that you should not be eating people. You should not be eating something of your own. There is a natural hierarchy to the world and you just, you don't eat people. I shouldn't ever have to say that.
00:12:53
Speaker
Anyway, the next two decades would be filled with robbery, cannibalism, and new Bean Babies who would all be raised to consume the flesh of unsuspecting passers-by. The family was said to salt and pickle the flesh of their victims and discard the rest into the ocean or keep the bones in their cave.
00:13:14
Speaker
One thing, Sierra, that is super gross is you can... Well, it's hauntingly beautiful, I guess, because it's art. You can find many artists' renditions of the Bean Cave where you can see pictures of the Bean family. I saw one of a bunch of children sitting around
Trial and Execution of the Bean Family
00:13:30
Speaker
the Bean family. There were children and adults around. There was a head on a plate in the middle of a cave and there were piles of bones around.
00:13:38
Speaker
One that I saw was like it was Sonny Bean standing guard at his cave and there was like a headless body kind of draped over a rock and in the background you saw a woman walking into the cave holding a leg just like a leg from like the thigh on down like holding it by the ankle the way one would hold like a basket. Super disgusting. But it was kind of a good representation of how commonplace it would have been for the Bean family just to have butchered remains around. Oh my.
00:14:11
Speaker
her mother shared this case with us yes she said like you should cover it the worst part was like it sounds like something you would be into oh my mom raised me to be a good person and she looked at a cannibal clan from Scotland and thought my baby would be into that
00:14:37
Speaker
But thanks, Mom. She's very supportive. I love you, Mom. But yeah, so the art is all really disturbing because of how the members of the Bean family are just completely unbothered by carnage and just the depravity of man and how if we want to get into kind of like an artsy bend or both writers, we have a tendency to do that. Just how something so macabre and wrong can become commonplace if you give it enough space and time to be commonplace.
00:15:07
Speaker
Yeah. So pretty pretty gruesome stuff. You should Google it. There's a few that are a little less disturbing, but they're all kind of gross. Anyway, the beans themselves, they would have 14 children.
00:15:26
Speaker
And then of those 14 children, their children would then have children themselves. Specifically, they have 18 grandsons and 14 granddaughters. The thing about this is you might be thinking, well, how did they manage to find people in decent society who were okay with being married into a cannibalistic family? Did they threaten them to marry them? No.
00:15:50
Speaker
They were all in bread. Oh, oh. I was thinking they just like snatched some people and they're like, OK, you have a choice. You marry my kid or you die, but. Well, I don't see how you can marry outside of your family if you think that other people are food. So it's important that you like marrying a pig. Oh, that's so messed up. Yeah, but it was the being children.
00:16:17
Speaker
where they would in breed with each other and they would have children. So specifically the beans would be proud grandparents to 18 grandsons and 14 granddaughters. Oh my goodness. Ew. So now we have a clan of 48 beans living in this cave and killing travelers on the road.
00:16:39
Speaker
Depending on what report you look at, they're either said to have killed hundreds or up to a thousand beyond a thousand people on these roads. And local authorities were said to have a very extensive list of missing people, but they couldn't figure it out. They would send people their reports of massive searches being conducted in between these villages to try and find any of the missing travelers, but they would never think to search
The Bean Legend: Truth or English Propaganda?
00:17:05
Speaker
the Benin Cave.
00:17:08
Speaker
But why not? Like, I would think a hole that would be a place to find a missing person. Because it makes sense, but it's not a cave like that. You could just it wasn't like a hole in the ground. It was like you'd walk in and it would be like a system. So in the sense of someone getting lost, it didn't make sense. That someone would just get lost that way in a cave. Plus, there was also reports that the tides would rise and the first few hundred feet of the cave would be covered in water.
00:17:38
Speaker
Um, so, or again, it's, it's also likely that this isn't true. Or maybe it was just out of the way and well hidden. So I just, I don't understand, but I wouldn't want to check a cave for corpses. So true. While concern grew, the Bean family's operation also grew. They were said to level like levy military style ambushes against groups of travelers, and they could take up to half a dozen people by brute force alone, like six people at a time.
00:18:11
Speaker
Oh my goodness. And the men would go out and bring home the travelers and the women would, you know, butcher them and prepare them. And then the family would eat them. Unfortunately for the Bean Clan and fortunately for literally everybody else in Scotland, even their tactical military operation would come to an end. One day the Beans were attempting to kill a husband and wife who were on horseback.
00:18:40
Speaker
They were traveling from a nearby fair home, and one group of beans would try and grab the wife, and one would try and grab the husband. They would manage to pull the woman from the horse, and before they could get the husband off the horse, they had stripped her and disemboweled her. And so she had passed it.
00:19:04
Speaker
So yeah,
Influence on Horror Culture
00:19:05
Speaker
they would pull the woman off the horse, disembowel her, and then the man had watched that happen to his wife, and he was fighting with her a renewed sense of anger and fear because he knew exactly what was happening. It wasn't just a robbery, it wasn't just pull them off the horse, they were out to kill them. So, since he had just watched, this poor man had just watched a group of inbred cave people murder and disembowel his wife right in front of him,
00:19:32
Speaker
He knew what would happen if the group managed to get him off of his horse. So it's said that he fought with renewed desperation. Reportedly pulling, I saw a sword and a pistol. A sword was the more common thing. Some people said he had both. Ate him and then he would direct his horse at the people. So the horse would stomp them. Good. That's what I would do. Yeah.
00:20:00
Speaker
Yeah, so he would point his horse at the attackers. And so who knows if that would have been successful in the long run. What actually managed to stop the Bean family was another group of travelers. They said between 20 and 30 people also coming from the fair came upon the scene. And that scared the Beans. And they would flee and they'd leave the mutilated body of this woman behind. There would be several witnesses.
00:20:27
Speaker
the body and just one extremely traumatized and angry husband. So they would go back to their cave and what happened next was they took the husband and he was taken before the chief magistrate of Glasgow, who upon hearing of this murderous group of cave people living in between towns, he would connect it to his list of, oh crap, I've got a list of hundreds of missing people
00:20:57
Speaker
and he would waste no time in taking action. In fact, he would take this to King James, who would go to Ayrshire with an army of 400 men and tracking dogs to try and find these people. A local group of volunteers would also join in and there would be this massive me- a
Reflections and Closing Anecdotes
00:21:18
Speaker
massive man.
00:21:26
Speaker
Okay, and so they launched a massive, they launched a massive manhunt to find the beaten family. It said though, during this initial search, there was nothing found. Despite this army and these other people, they wouldn't find anything in those woods until one of those tracking dogs was able to pick up the scent of what they assume now to be decay and led them to the cave.
00:21:53
Speaker
So soldiers would enter the cave by torchlight and they would walk down that near mile-long passage to the inner part of the cave. The soldiers reported seeing rows and rows of human limbs and body parts hanging like meat on butcher hooks from the ceiling. Other parts of the cave had piles of clothing and stolen jewelry from pastures like those people that they'd killed previously. Apparently bones were abundant and just littered throughout the cave to not only have their murderous evil people their slobs
00:22:24
Speaker
Oh no.
00:22:26
Speaker
The bones really gross. Okay. It said that there was a fight in the cave where the beans were eventually arrested, although most reports say that there were 48 that were arrested. They were brought to Edinburgh by the King himself and the entire family was put on trial. Scotland was apparently known for having a fair justice system and they're like, nah, screw that. You're going on trial tomorrow. Fake those beans.
00:22:55
Speaker
And they do. It's really funny that you said. Oh, and say what? Okay, so no. All 48 people were put on trial and all of them, the entire family were sentenced to death.
00:23:10
Speaker
So women, men, children, all of them. Reports state that 27 of the men were hung drawn and quartered, which means that they had their arms and legs cut off and they were left to bleed it to death while the women watched. Then the 21 lady beans were all burnt, quote, like witches in mass fires. Oh, oh, I did not know that before baking that joke. It was funny.
00:23:40
Speaker
What did they do to the kids? They were also said to be put to death. Some reports I saw that they were burnt with the women. Others said that it was just divided by gender so men were drawn and quartered and girls were
00:23:54
Speaker
burned. But there wasn't a ton of information on the Bean children at that point. They were almost all referred to as being older. And it had been 20 years, so I don't know how, or 20 plus years since the initial murder. So I don't know how old his children would have been at that time. But yeah, that is the story of the Bean clan of Scotland. Scotland's most notorious cannibal family. I don't know if there's more than one.
00:24:22
Speaker
But that's how I saw him touted Scotland's most notorious cannibals. I'm like, wow, how many cannibals can you have as per capita? I shouldn't say that as an American. We have Dahmer and other people, like. Yeah. So as a disclaimer, the legend of Sonny Bean is not able to be fully substantiated. The tale has some questions, some timeline, and with resolution so grandiose that the king himself would come to seek justice.
00:24:50
Speaker
It's easy to see why this might be a tall tale or something that's been blown out of proportion. Some people say that this was a tale come from England.
00:24:59
Speaker
to specifically kind of talk smack, so to speak, about Scotland. I saw one source saying that the name Sonny is reported to be something of a derogatory term for Scotsman, but I also saw that that was like a nickname for Alexander. But someone did say, one article I read going as far as to say that calling a Scotsman Sonny was about as
00:25:21
Speaker
the equivalent of calling an Irishman patty, so it would have been a common Scottish name and a common name to kind of like attach to an insult.
00:25:32
Speaker
Um, so take the story of Sonny Beame with a grain of salt, whether it's based on a true story that was blown way out of proportion. Um, so they could be like a Scottish Boo Radley, like from To Kill a Mockingbird. Uh, Boo Radley was a real person that was kind of like from Harper Lee's hometown. So it could be that they just had an eccentric cave family living in Scotland too. Who didn't need people.
00:25:55
Speaker
right, who might have just been more reserved, could have been not part of town. Maybe they didn't eat people, but they were legend, like local legends, or maybe they were just murderous Scotsmen living in the caves and inbreeding with each other. We'll never know. I'm not sure I want to know. But regardless, the Bean family will live on an infamy and the story of Sonny Bean will be continuously passed down. So yeah, a bit of a shorter case, if you can even call it a case today, but that is the story.
00:26:25
Speaker
of Alexander, Sony Bean, and all of his little Beanie babies, so. That's terrible. It is. Before we fully wrap up this case, there was some interesting information. A lot of times when you see terrible, terrible acts or terrible histories, there's a lot of, within like the horror genre, people will take inspiration from that. And with the, you know, the Sony Bean family, the Bean clan,
00:26:55
Speaker
There are horror movies and horror tropes that have kind of been based off of this old story. If you've ever seen the movie The Hills Have Eyes, that's about an inbred cannibal family that lives in the hills.
00:27:11
Speaker
You know, they hunt and eat people. I've never seen it. I don't think I will ever see it. I'm not opposed to horror movies, but I don't really like super, super gory movies. And cannibalism already eeks me out. So yeah. But yeah, yeah. Sierra, please never watch it. Yeah, I don't do horror at all. I can't. We made some of our friends made Sierra watch Insidious. Nope. I'm not still thinking about that.
00:27:42
Speaker
I still say you have to see the second one, but it's okay. But yeah, so another thing, some people, like a lot of articles I read started off by like comparing Sony Bean to Hannibal Lecter and being like compared to the Bean Clan, Hannibal Lecter's just a teen little pussycat. Like that seems kind of extreme. I feel like anybody who kills somebody else and furthermore eats somebody else, I think any of them are bad. Like we don't need to compete here.
00:28:11
Speaker
Yeah. What you're telling me is that the Bean Clan were trendsetters. Like they're the Kardashians of cannibalism. I hate that, but yes. Um, but yeah, they actually, if you've ever seen The Silence of the Lambs with Hannibal Lecter, there's a line where it's actually one of the more famous lines. If you've never seen the movie, you've probably either heard this line or seen the gif where it's like,
00:28:39
Speaker
The full lines like a census taker once tried to test me I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti like And then like he does like a weird like thing with his mouth where it's like almost like a serpent I would say but it's just like that the line fava beans some people say that's a reference to the Bean family. Oh Either way The deranged man saying he ate someone's liver with fava beans
00:29:06
Speaker
and a pairing wine. So this is what I think that is. I had to Google how to say Chianti. Chianti. I might be Chianti. I can't remember. I have a phonetic pronunciation here. I probably still said it wrong. So forgive me. I don't drink wine. Or pronounce things apparently. But yeah, it's super gross. Once again, I'd like to thank my mom.
00:29:33
Speaker
It was an interesting thing to look into. As far as cannibalistic research, the fact that I can kind of look at it with a grain of salt and say this may not be real did make it easier. Yeah, I'm glad we were doing this in the afternoon and not in the evening. Just reminding me of Sweeney Todd. My sister made me watch that with her.
00:29:56
Speaker
I've seen Sweet Cod with my dad, oddly enough, and I think that's probably the reason that my dad doesn't do horror movies at all, but I think it's probably the reason I don't really like gore is I have a very vivid mental image of Johnny Depp slitting a guy's throat. You don't want one of Mrs. Lovett's meat pies? Anyway, that was Sotty Bean. A bit of a lighthearted episode, I hope no one
00:30:24
Speaker
big events that we were kind of laughing throughout, but it is it is somewhat ridiculous. It's just one of those. It's a grandiose story about such terrible things that your brain automatically wants to say, there's no way that happened. And there's like the the ballad of Sony Bean. I pulled the lyrics like the last stanza. There's a ballad? There's a ballad. Like written by him or about him? About him.
00:30:51
Speaker
It's written in, like, older English. It's not, like, old English. But it's, like, they've hung them high in Edinburgh town and likewise their kin. And the wind blows cold on their bones. And to hell they go again, I think. And to hell they are hey again. So, yeah. Heartwarming.
00:31:20
Speaker
heartwarming, but there's also a look over about how they fed their children on the flesh of travelers. That's my case this week. Any thoughts, comments, concerns, Sierra? Nothing. It's just super disgusting. I feel so bad for the kids.
00:31:45
Speaker
But he had to be crazy like no one decides oh, you know what I'm just gonna start feeding my family human beings That's so much you have to be so disconnected from reality To think how can I make this convenient for myself, but I guess if you're already chill with murder What's always crazy? Is when you have like a couple cuz he was a married man And so
00:32:14
Speaker
His wife was also like, cool babe. Cooks up like pork, I don't know. Like, so not only was he okay with it, but she was okay with it. How do these people find each other? Because I'm over here. I'm like, I'm normal, I don't eat people, and I'm still single. I'm like, I'm sitting over here. All I want is a nice guy, like, romantic, I don't know, has a job.
00:32:44
Speaker
I feel like my criteria is so much lower than must be okay with murder and cannibalism. It's like my conversation about having kids with dates have always been like, yeah, I want kids. And I want to like, I don't know. This is what I believe in like raising them and blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm like, I think we should feed the flesh of travelers to our kids. Cool? Cool. So nasty.
00:33:11
Speaker
So if you ever feel bad about being single, feel extra bad, because even cannibals can find each other. Oh my. Oh my goodness. So what is our uplifting way to end? OK, so that's the end of the case, which I would argue we've been done with the case for probably since before we started it.
00:33:41
Speaker
But what is our uplifting? My uplifting thing is. Is it weird to talk about the baby blanket I'm crocheting? No, OK. A dear friend of mine is a different of ours, I should say, is having her first baby and I started making her baby blanket this week. And it's been a lot of fun to think about how, you know, she's going to be a mom.
00:34:11
Speaker
And I'm just excited for her and for this baby. So. And she plans to feed her baby like regular food. I hope so. She's going to raise this child right. They live in a house. They're not in a cave. Like they're all good. There are no warning signs. She's also going to text us and be like, yeah. Because she knows who she is. Oh my goodness.
00:34:41
Speaker
Yeah, my uplifting is, I don't know, got back into a hobby that I really enjoy to make something for somebody I love. So it's been really, really fun. What about you, Sierra? I got to see some family friends. They actually moved from my home state to this state. And one of their sons had his little football game. So we went to that yesterday. It was so fun.
00:35:02
Speaker
And his mom is one of those football moms. She brought her cute little chair thing you can set on the cement bleachers or whatever to be all comfy. But as soon as the game starts, she stands up and she's like, I'm sorry if I'm loud. And then she just was like yelling and cheering. She has a really good whistle that she can do, super loud. It was just very fun. It was good to see them again. The world of young, of little kid sports, well, I shouldn't say little kid.
00:35:26
Speaker
middle school but they look so little on the field their little football jerseys with their little shoulder pads. I felt so bad because one of them on the other team he was running around the field doing his best and he is so much smaller than everybody else and I'm like this is football why are you here you're so tiny but he did well they all did well it was very fun to watch. That's the like I grew up in a hockey family um so we would be in the rink every weekend it was crazy because my brother he was shorter for a little while but he was I don't want to say wide like
00:35:55
Speaker
in a bad way or like whatever, like he was just stocky. He was broad shouldered. He was a little bit short, but he was looked a little smaller, a little bit shorter than everybody else. And you'd have kids like him who were like, you know, shorter, but like built out. And he had the kids who were tall and built out the willowy ones. And then you had the ones who looked like they were about four years old. Yeah. And so, but they'd all be within the same like two or three years. Like I think for his league, it was two or three grades.
00:36:23
Speaker
or they had to be within a specific age range. They were all the same age, but then you'd see the difference between them. My brother used to, um, he was a little bit shorter and kids are mean, but they, he looked a little chubby. He really wasn't, but
00:36:40
Speaker
He looked short and a little bit puddier, but he was just broad-shouldered. And you couldn't really tell that because he had six inches of pads on. But people would think he'd be an easy target. I used to watch kids try to check him, which is where you throw your body into another person to try and get them to fall over or whatever. And they would check him and bounce off. And he'd just be standing there looking at him like, you idiot. I love that. But if you ever watch Hawking, you see somebody check somebody. It's not usually how it goes, but it was really funny.
00:37:09
Speaker
uh but my dad was definitely a hockey hockey dad very loud very very supportive very loud yeah those parents are almost more fun than the game like yeah it's fun to watch the parents i would never want to be a ref though oh yeah my brother um he's repped a couple games because now he's obviously older but
00:37:34
Speaker
The things people say about the ref, they don't know what they're doing. This grandma, and I will say, my friend, she did yell down to the ref, let them play already. Because he kept, I guess, throwing little flags out, which I don't... It would help if I knew the rules of football, but I don't. So I don't know what the things were for, if they were all warranted or not, but it was taking forever. And this grandma's like, very loudly, he needs to go home and take a nap about the ref. And I'm just sitting there so embarrassed because I'm like, you guys, this is...
00:38:00
Speaker
it's not an easy job to be a ref okay nobody ever likes you we don't need to yell at him it's like when it comes to like you sports different leagues can bring their own ref and you can always tell when it's not your ref because like it would usually be a parent like you're not playing unbiased gerald gerald but every once in a while we'd have like um a rink ref where the rink would provide one and they'd have no connection and then you'd have parents on both teams being like you suck
00:38:30
Speaker
I'll tell you that the rough stuff is when parents from different teams would be like, yeah, I know. Fun facts. Are we doing that right? I don't think so. And I don't know if that was uplifting either, necessarily. But it was fun. It was uplifting to be at the game. It was fun. Yeah. Yeah. Uplifting. I don't know if uplifting is the right word for this. Just more of a. Just like a
00:39:00
Speaker
I can't call it palate. I'm not going to call it a palate cleanser because I think there's another podcast I know that I listen to. Also, a palate cleanser in light of what we talked about today is not the appropriate term. I've heard other podcasts use that and I don't want to be associated or not associated. I don't want someone's rabid fans to be like, you stole their term. I'm not speaking about any specific podcast because I generally can't remember. I'm going to cut all this out anyway. I don't know. I don't know what we can call this because
00:39:27
Speaker
wind down time. A wind down, like a sudden shift. A shift of focus. Like changing lanes. Exiting the murder highway. Just stroll through the park. But not like a park where you're... Murdered? Yeah. Oh goodness goodness goodness. It's a rabbit trail. One of these days we need to do a tangent Tuesday where we talk about all the times we've almost died. Yeah. Because
00:39:57
Speaker
I don't know why you said rabbit trouble. You think that time I almost got it at a gas station, but. We should talk about that. I mean, not a good time, but like it was a good story. It's funny in retrospect, but terrifying in the moment, which I think is my entire life. But yeah, I think that's it for this week. Anything else we should say now that we've been rambling for an extra 20 minutes past the end of our podcast?
00:40:27
Speaker
I honestly don't remember what next week's is. It's the ship. Oh, yes. The Blue Bell? The Blue Bell ship. All right. So the Blue Bell ship next week would be an interesting time. Yeah. Is that a murder or is it just a mystery? It is a mystery that revealed a murder. Interesting.
00:40:53
Speaker
I've never heard of this one, so that's going to be really, really cool. So join us here next week to hear Ciara tell us the case of the Bluebell ship. And the woman who became known as the Seawave or the Sea Orphan. I'm intrigued. You should be. All right. Well, I hope you guys are intrigued as well. We will see you next week. But until then. Be aware. Take care. And we'll see you next week. Bye. Bye.