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How to Love Your Sweetheart Well (1 Peter 3:1-7)
14 Plays27 days ago
Husbands, Love Your Wife Like This…
1. Hearing the Perspective of Your Wife
2. Honoring through the Protection of Your Wife
3. Helping the Partnership with Your Wife
4. Hindering Prayers for Your Wife
Wives, Love Your Husband Like This…
1. Embracing the Duty of Submission to Your Husband, 3:1
2. Practicing the Influence of Submission to Your Husband, 3:1-2
3. Adorning with the Beauty of Submission to Your Husband, 3:4-5
4. Following the Examples of Submission to Your Husband, 3:5-6
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Growing in Grace Devotions and Inspirations
Hosted by Pastor Victor Morrison
First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX, USA 78934
http://fbccolumbustx.org/
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Transcript
Introduction to FBC Columbus
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to Growing in Grace with Pastor Victor Morrison. This is a ministry of First Baptist Church located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas. We are praying that God will bless you as you listen to this message. If you would like additional information on worship times and ministries at FBC Columbus, you can find out more at our website, FBCColumbusTX.org.
Valentine's Day Theme: Marriage Principles
00:00:32
Speaker
And now take your copy of God's timeless word as Pastor Victor gives today's message.
00:00:43
Speaker
Hey, welcome to Growing Grace. Glad you're listening in today. I pray that God will bless you. You know, if you don't watch it, Valentine's Day will sneak up on you. So I'm just giving everybody out there a heads up that it is coming. And so I'm so excited. um Around our house, Valentine's Day is a big day. We enjoy celebrating the love that God has placed in our hearts. And so I want to give a message today to married couples. And it's based in 1 Peter,
00:01:13
Speaker
Chapter 3, verses 1 through 7. And I've given the this message the title, How to Love Your Sweetheart Well.
Exploring Submission in Modern Culture
00:01:22
Speaker
How to Love Your Sweetheart Well. I don't know if you've got some traditions like getting a card or flowers or candy or taking your wife out to eat.
00:01:33
Speaker
or what kind of things that you have that you normally do. But I'm so excited to share with you some some principles about marriage that are written for us here in God's timeless word. You know, if you were to just sort of break into the letter of 1 Peter around chapter 2 verse 13 and go all the way down through chapter 3 verse 7, what you would discover is that God's mission involves my submission. It's so hard whenever we'd like to be the captain of our own destiny, captain of our own ship. We'd like to call all the shots. But if we look into God's word, we see that God tells us, trust me, just trust me. I know what I'm doing. I know how I've wired life to work. And so he says to us, oftentimes, just just submit to me and surrender to me.
Respect and Romance in Marriage
00:02:28
Speaker
Let me have my way and watch how joyful your life will be. You know, I realize that whenever you talk about submission in this day and time, especially in this culture,
00:02:41
Speaker
that we're living in, then you can think, wow, as a matter of fact, I almost called this message submission, wedlock, deadlock, or hemlock. So I don't know how it makes you feel. But anyway, I just i want to love my wife the way God would want me to.
00:03:02
Speaker
And I've been around her long enough to know that she wants to love me well. And it's it's really interesting how God tells us in His word what our spouse is really looking for. So for example, if you're listening to this and you're, let's say, a wife, married to a man, and you would say, I want to love him well, then I would say out of all the things that you could do to love him well,
00:03:31
Speaker
If you give him respect, then you you're going to hit the nail right on the head, no matter what other things you give. But then if you're a husband and you wanted to say, yeah I want to love my wife well, she she's really been good to me and I want to love her well. Well, I think that ah definitely women are looking for romance, whereas the man's looking for respect.
00:03:55
Speaker
but I think the woman is looking for romance. But it might not be exactly the romance that you have in your mind. And so I want to clarify some things as we look into these principles that are found in 1 Peter chapter 3 verses 1 through 7. I only have two major points that I want to share today, and that is husbands love your wife like this.
00:04:22
Speaker
And the second one is, wives love your husband like this. So we're going to have some sub points under each one of those major categories. But let me read through the scripture first, because this is what we're going to follow.
Guidance for Husbands: Leadership and Understanding
00:04:35
Speaker
And so listen to what it says. Likewise, wives be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be one without a word.
00:04:50
Speaker
by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external, the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear. But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves by submitting to their own husbands.
00:05:30
Speaker
as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him Lord. And you are children if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as she, the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life so that your prayers may not be hindered.
00:05:58
Speaker
So let's go back. It went by really fast. So let's go back and sort of put it in slow motion and let these words just really sink over our hearts. And let me try my best to unpack how we could connect with this passage. And I want to start with the husbands, actually. I think that when it comes to leadership in the home, the Lord's looking right at me. He's looking right at all of the husbands and saying,
00:06:27
Speaker
I'm counting on you guys. I want you to be the team leader. So underneath husbands love your wife like this, I would put down fourth sub points. Hearing, honoring, helping, hindering.
00:06:43
Speaker
Be careful with that last one, hindering. It's not that we want to hinder, it's we don't want our marriage to be hindered. But let's look at it closely. The first one is hearing the perspective of your wife. I think that's the idea when he says, likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way.
00:07:07
Speaker
You know, I've heard it said that a husband is somewhat like the thermostat. He's going to set the temperature in the home, whereas the wife is more like, well, a thermometer who is going to reflect the temperature that is in the home.
00:07:27
Speaker
So when it comes to setting the the warmth level in a family and in a marriage, I think God is looking at the husband. And that's why he calls us out. Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way. I think it's interesting that he said, live with your wives. It's dwell with them. Like, give them some of the time out of your day.
00:07:54
Speaker
And I thought, well, if I'm going to end up at the place where I really know my wife, where I'm going to say, Lord, help me be an avid student to really know ah all that there is to know about my wife, then I'm going to have to do some things that would require me spending time with her. So why don't we start there? I think that a husband who wants to live with his wife in an understanding way who wants to hear the perspective of his wife, he needs to do these kinds of things. I think he needs to pause what he is doing. You know, so often we're very busy in our lives. Maybe you've got a very demanding career. I understand that. And I think that people had demanding careers back in Peter's day when he wrote this.
00:08:47
Speaker
And yet, God is calling on us in the midst of a busy life, make sure that you pause what you're doing and care about what she is doing. Care about what she's doing and care about what she's feeling. Care about what she's facing.
Wives' Role: Submission and Respect
00:09:06
Speaker
You know, we really need to say, I want to listen to what you're saying.
00:09:12
Speaker
I want to know what you're doing and I want to know what you're facing, but I also want to really pay attention so that I can listen closely to what you're saying because is it even possible for us to understand somebody if we don't ever listen to what they're trying to tell us? So we have to spend time with her where she's living.
00:09:36
Speaker
I even think after our wives talk to us, and you know one of my favorite questions at the end of my day, when I go back from the office and I walk through the door, the first thing I say is, how was your day? you know I give her a hug, I give her a kiss, and I say, how was your day? And when she tells me how her day was, I'm looking her right in the eye. And then after she says something, I try my best to say something in terms of feedback, to say something in terms of affirmation or empathy, whatever might be the case, but giving her feedback that lets her know that I'm understanding, that I know what she just said.
00:10:20
Speaker
that if she said, I had a great day, then I said, I'm so glad that today went well for you. I try to put in my own words, but I try to get to the heart of what she just expressed to me. So husbands, if you want to love your wife well, then I would say, why don't you love her like this? Why don't you say, God, help me every day.
00:10:43
Speaker
to pay attention so that I know the perspective that my wife has this week, this day, this afternoon, this evening. I think he goes on to say something else that's important to our wives. He says, likewise husbands live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor.
00:11:04
Speaker
to the woman as the weaker vessel, showing honor. It gives the idea of esteem. It also carries with it this idea of, you know, I'm really grateful for what you're doing and how you're doing it. I'm really thankful for who you are and for all that goes into ah who you are. You know, whenever he says that the woman is the weaker vessel, I think he's looking physically.
00:11:34
Speaker
Physically, most men are stronger than their wives. Hey, I'm a pastor. I pray with people in their 80s and 90s. And so I just want you to know that even though you might be stronger than your wife right now, there may come a day when your wife will actually be the one caring for you. And you will hardly be able to get up without her assistance. But what I'm trying to say is, generally speaking,
00:12:03
Speaker
The husband is a stronger physically vessel than the wife. She might be way out front of you in terms of intelligence or in terms of spiritual commitments.
00:12:14
Speaker
in terms of depth of her personality. I mean we could go on and on there but I think you understand what I'm saying is showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel is sort of like well let's compare a man and his physical strength to a brick and let's compare our wives to this beautiful priceless vase or to priceless porcelain. And so we are called to go through life as though we were in a dance together. So the brick has got to be very careful.
00:12:52
Speaker
as he dances alongside of his beautiful bride, his beautiful vase, if you will. That's why in Colossians 3, 19, we're told, do not be harsh with your wives, but you should love them because they're precious. And so do you honor your wife? You know, some husbands ah sort of get their kicks, I think, from cutting down their wife or making belittling them. And I'm thinking, no, that's not honoring. So we must be very careful that we honor them. And then he says, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life.
00:13:31
Speaker
You know, heirs means that we're spiritually equal. Do you know that the husband and the wife spiritually through Christ, we're equal. We have different roles, but in terms of value, your wife is just as valuable to God as you are.
00:13:50
Speaker
And I'm just as valuable to God as my wife is. And so there's this incredible eternal importance when he talks about us that we are heirs That means we're together heirs. So it means both of us are important to God. Both of us have something that we bring to the table. No wonder in the olden days they called someone's wife your helpmate. You know, it's like we're called into this team, this partnership.
00:14:22
Speaker
where we work together as we go through life. And so I think, well, if that's the case, then I need to realize that the more I help my spouse, the more I help my partner, the more I help my wife, I'm actually helping our team.
00:14:39
Speaker
I'm not helping if I ignore or if I'm disengaged from my wife. And so I should make it my priority to help her, to be there to encourage her and cheer her. So that's also another way that I can express my love to my wife, not only on Valentine's Day, of course, but every day of the year.
00:15:03
Speaker
Say, I want to help her and strengthen her. I want to honor her. I also want to hear her. But if we don't do those three things, then he gives a warning and he says, if you don't do this, then he says, so that your prayers may not be hindered. You know, I think that whenever we're failing to give the commitment and the value and importance and so forth to our marriage that it deserves. You know where I think it leads? It leads to an ineffective prayer life.
00:15:37
Speaker
ineffective prayer life. It's like God's saying, no, I'm going to call attention to this, so I'm going to stop answering prayers. It's going to complicate God's willingness to give blessing after blessing after blessing, like I'm sure he wants to do because God is such a giver, but he's not going to keep giving blessing after blessing after blessing if I'm mistreating or if I'm ignoring my wife.
00:16:04
Speaker
And so, isn't it interesting that not treating your wife like honors God and pleases God? That's serious to him. So serious that he says, you know what? If you don't do this, then it's really going to make an impact.
00:16:20
Speaker
on your prayers, it's going to hinder them. That word hinder there was used in the military whenever an enemy was on the run and you would kind of blow up different, you know, like a tree, you cut down a tree and let it fall across the ah the pathway. And so it's like your prayers are going to have unnecessary obstacles and hindrances, you know, barricades, if if you don't, you know, treat them with respect if you don't help them and strengthen them and try to listen to them. So husbands love your wives like this, but wives, how can you love your husbands?
Inner Beauty vs. External Adornment
00:16:59
Speaker
Well, I know that talking about submission is not a popular topic, but I promise there's something there and God knows it. And what he knows is that your husband craves, your husband craves your honor and your respect.
00:17:15
Speaker
he wants to be looked up to. And so what's interesting is the the passage starts off with a situation where at least spiritually, the man is not acting in a way that would be ah conducive to being respected or looked up to. But nonetheless, there are four points that I want to say underneath this. I think that a wife should say, you know what, I want to embrace the duty of submission to my husband.
00:17:44
Speaker
You know, um several times in Scripture, like in Ephesians 5.22, in Colossians 3.18, in Titus 2.5, in 1 Peter 3.1, over and over it reminds us that the way God has hardwired a marriage relationship, the way it is structured, is that He's given us roles. And the duty of the wife is to say, my husband is the head,
00:18:14
Speaker
of her home, and that's why she's asked to be subject. You can read about that in Ephesians 5, 22, 23, and 24. He didn't say that the wife is the head of the home. He didn't say that your children, they're so precious to you, so they should be the head of your home. No, he says, I'm going to look to the man. I'm going to look to the husband, the father,
00:18:37
Speaker
to be the head of the home. So it's the duty of those in that home to say, we're going to line up behind ah the husband, the father. But also, it's the duty of the wife to the husband in her home. So in other words, this wife is not being asked to be subject to every husband that's out there.
00:19:00
Speaker
to every man in society, no, it says quite clearly, likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands. Be subject to your own husbands. And so this is an example that's given, this is an exhortation that's given to someone who is in a marriage relationship and God is saying, you want to know how to love him? You want to know what it really mean a lot? It's for you to be ah submissive to him.
00:19:30
Speaker
and embrace it rather than resisting it. But then to to practice the influence of submission to your husband. You know, verses 1 and 2 also gives this interesting possibility. It's kind of like a hypothetical situation, but it definitely happens where maybe A man and his wife, they start out their marriage and they're not believers. Somewhere along the way, they hear the gospel. Well, let's say that the wife embraces the gospel. And she's like, yes, this is good news. This is the best I've ever heard. But let's say that the husband says, no, I am not going to submit my life to Jesus Christ. So he's not going to obey the Lord. So what should the wife do then?
00:20:14
Speaker
Well, submission to him, to the husband, can win the husband without speaking to him over and over again about obeying the Lord. I'll never forget when I was a youth pastor, I went one time with a revival preacher that we had in our church And he was going to be sharing the gospel each night. And so this one lady invited me over to her home, and she had ah two daughters that were in the youth group. And so we sat down at this beautiful, delicious meal, and she says, OK, here he is. Get him. And her husband had just sat down at the table. And anyway, he just sort of hung his head.
00:20:52
Speaker
And I thought, oh no, this is not the way. like Let us build a relationship with your husband. you know Don't say, get him. you know But he was an unbeliever. And he wasn't living for Christ like she was and like the daughters were. So anyway, all I'm saying is realize that when you c submit, that's very impactful. It's very influential.
00:21:16
Speaker
And so maintaining a respectful attitude toward Him and maintaining the right actions before Him, that's going to accomplish way more than you constantly bugging Him every single day how He's not following the Lord. Listen to these two verses one more time. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if Some do not obey the word. They may be one without a word by the conduct of their wives, by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct." I mean, it's plain biblical. it's It's so right that we have to say, okay, even though he's not doing what he needs to, I'm going to submit really to Christ and let him be the one that I'm submitting to.
00:22:11
Speaker
and I'm going to be respectful in my attitude toward my husband, and I'm going to do the right things and not the wrong things ah before him. But then every woman loves to look nice, to look her best, to look pretty and beautiful. Well, the Lord knows that. And that's why in his word, he put verses three and four in here, do not let your adorning be external. The braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry or the clothing you wear, but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty.
00:22:48
Speaker
of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." Wow. You know, it's like he's saying, I want you to prioritize the value of the inner beauty. And that's where I want you to give yourself to this internal adornment, not just the external adornment, just the clothes, the hair, the jewelry. It's fine to have those things, but not to let those be your priority. And so he's saying, I want you to prioritize internal beauty. Internal beauty
00:23:26
Speaker
he says is imperishable. Did you catch that? I mean, there's going to come a day when for every woman, the hair starts turning gray, and for the man, his hair starts turning loose. But anyway, it's like amazing. But he said, you know what? There's something that's never going to never going to fade away. And it's the internal beauty. The internal beauty is not only imperishable, it's spiritual. That's why he says,
00:23:53
Speaker
I want you to work on having a gentle and a quiet spirit. A gentle and quiet spirit. This is something spiritual. This is something only God can do. But it's not only imperishable and spiritual, it's also valuable. It's very valuable to have the internal beauty. As a matter of fact, God says, out of all the things that I see in my sight, that right there,
00:24:19
Speaker
is very precious. I love that. I think that's really important. Whenever God says, in my sight, this is very precious. And then of course, he goes in verses five and six to talking about following the examples for submission to your husband.
Transformative Power of Respect
00:24:39
Speaker
Have you ever been in a clothing store with your wife? Man, I try to pick out a bench out there in the the mall where I can sit out there. But if I go in there, one thing that just hits me is how many mannequins they have and how the the mannequins have those clothes on. And I'm thinking, why did they do that?
00:24:58
Speaker
They do that because they're saying, you know, you want to look like this, don't you? So they'll put that outfit on a mannequin or on a model, let's say, you know, one of those plastic models. And then you can see what those clothes, what that outfit looks like. Well, it's the same in Scripture. Following the examples in Scripture, rather than the examples that are, let's say, in society.
00:25:23
Speaker
Because those are not always good examples out there, right? And so we need to say, OK, where am I going to get my cues for what it means to be a woman and what it means to be a beautiful woman? What it means to be a cherished, valuable woman? I wouldn't get it from Hollywood. I would get it from scripture. But also, he says, not only following examples in scripture rather than society, but following the example of Sarah rather than, well, Mama.
00:25:51
Speaker
You know, not everyone grows up in a Christian home. So maybe you didn't grow in a Christian home. Maybe your mother did not demonstrate how to have a submissive, ah gentle and quiet spirit and so forth. But there are examples like Sarah in scripture that did and that it's there for you. And so I hope that you'll look at this passage and say, this is going to give me some fresh ideas on how I can love my husband well as we ah start this Valentine's Day and as we go through the year of 2025. Hey, I want to close with a sort of a funny story in a way, but it's got a powerful meaning and it's all over the top of this passage. And I don't know if you've ever read the book, ah Johnny Lingo's Eight Cal Wife,
00:26:44
Speaker
but It's a ah story about a primitive Pacific island. and On that island, whenever a man got ready to propose and to go to the the father of of the girl that he loved and to ask for her hand in marriage, he had to have a dowry.
00:27:03
Speaker
And on that island, the greatest dowry was milk cows. So if you had two to three milk cows, then you could find, let's say, a decent woman. And yo the the dad would say, OK, your dowry is sufficient for for my daughter. But man, if you wanted a nice wife, you're going to have to give more than two or three. You're going to have to give four or five of those milk cows.
00:27:30
Speaker
Well, this guy, Johnny Lingo, you know what he gave? The whole community couldn't believe it. He gave eight cows. But everybody was thinking, wait a minute, I don't really, his wife, I mean, she's not really one of the real beauty queens on this island. She's kind of plain. But you know what happened after they got married? She just beamed and became like the most gorgeous woman on the whole island.
00:27:59
Speaker
And someone asked Johnny lingo about it and Johnny lingo said, you know what? He said, I think it's because I paid eight cows for her and it increased how she felt about herself. You know, there's something there. If we will treat our husband, if we will treat our wife,
00:28:18
Speaker
With great respect, let them know they're priceless and precious. You watch what can happen.
Closing Prayer and Message
00:28:24
Speaker
Why don't we pray for Valentine's Day? Oh Lord, thank you so much for one time of the year that we can say, I want to tell my spouse how much I love him. I pray dear Lord that you would guide us as we go into this Valentine's Day. No matter what we've done in the past,
00:28:41
Speaker
I pray we would give it everything we can. We don't have to spend a lot of money. We just have to prepare our hearts. We just have to go into it with the right attitude, the right actions. We have to give them what they're really looking for. And your word is telling us that men, they're looking for that honor. They're looking for respect. But the women are looking for love. They want to feel cherished. They want to know that they're important. And so God, help us to really connect with one another as we go through this Valentine season. In Jesus' name we pray, amen. Well, thank you so much. I pray that God will bless you. If you are married, I pray that you and your wife, you and your husband will have a wonderful Valentine's Day. Thanks for listening.
00:29:40
Speaker
This is a ministry of First Baptist Church, located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas.