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Parenting: Keeping Watch Over Your Flock (3 John)
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On the LifeWay Research website I discovered an interesting article regarding Gen Z (ages 13-28, born between 1997-2012). It stated that this generation is sensing uncertainty in life and are turning to trusted relationships to share their anxieties. Only 29% of those interviewed by Springtide Research Institute said that they turn to a church. One reason stated is that they do not find a listening ear nor do they find someone that they are certain really cares about them.
In some ways, parenting could be compared to shepherding. As a matter of fact, Tedd Tripp wrote a book called, “Shepherding a Child’s Heart”. I just finished joyfully investing in the hearts of over 100 children during a week of Vacation Bible School. Kids are precious and so fun to be around. My two girls are now 28 and 25 years of age, but I believe that I am still shepherding their hearts even now. Although a pastor, my family is my most important flock.
Third John is the shortest book in the New Testament and was written by the Apostle John to a younger pastor he had mentored named Gaius. John sent the brief epistle by another trusted man named Demetrius to warn Gaius of a spiritual wolf named Diotrephes who would harm the flock that Gaius was watching over for Christ.
Third John offers us a glimpse of six types of people in your child’s life (if they are not there now, they will be there eventually). Most of these we should pray enter our child’s life after they leave for college or begin to work in the adult world. We should pray for their protection from the wolves similar to Diotrephes, who will only spiritually harm our little lambs. The other five types of people will join with you in protecting your child from “Diotrephes”.
Trainers, vs. 1-4
Teachers, vs. 3-5
Trailblazers, vs. 3, 5-8
Team Players, vs. 6, 9-10, 15
Transformers, v. 12
Troublemakers, vs. 9-10
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Growing in Grace Devotions and Inspirations
Hosted by Pastor Victor Morrison
First Baptist Church
1700 Milam Street
Columbus, TX, USA 78934
http://fbccolumbustx.org/
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Welcome
00:00:08
Speaker
Welcome to Growing in Grace with Pastor Victor Morrison. This is a ministry of First Baptist Church located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas. We are praying that God will bless you as you listen to this message.
00:00:22
Speaker
If you would like additional information on worship times and ministries at FBC Columbus, you can find out more at our website, fbccolumbustx.org. And now, take your copy of God's timeless Word as Pastor Victor gives today's message.
Introduction to 3 John
00:00:43
Speaker
Welcome to Growing Grace. I'm glad you're with us. I want to introduce you to ah the shortest letter in the New Testament. As a matter of fact, it's so short that some Bible scholars jokingly refer to it not as a letter or an epistle, but as a postcard.
Parenting Adult Children
00:01:03
Speaker
And what I'm speaking of is the little letter of 3 John. I want to talk about parenting, but the parenting that I have in mind is for those that are actually out of our house. Let's say you've got children and now they're college students and or maybe they're getting ready to go to college this fall.
00:01:24
Speaker
And so you're you're needing to know some ideas on how to pray for them. Or perhaps you've got children that just finished college and now they're in their first career and all of those kind of things.
Challenges Faced by Gen Z
00:01:37
Speaker
So I want to talk about keeping watch over your flock and To do it, to sort of start this off, our journey through 3rd John, wanted to point out a yeah recent article that I read on LifeWay's research website.
00:01:54
Speaker
This article was written about Gen Z. ah Gen Z are any that are like from right now, ages 13 through 28. through twenty eight They have to be born, let's say 1997 through 2012. Now what that does for me personally is that means both of my daughters are Gen Z.
Parenting vs. Shepherding
00:02:17
Speaker
ah it It stated that this generation is sensing uncertainty in life.
00:02:24
Speaker
you know They're getting a little older now, and they're beginning to think, you know, I don't feel as confident. And so what they're doing, they're turning to trusted relationships to kind of unload their anxieties.
00:02:35
Speaker
Only 29% of those interviewed by Springtide Research Institute said that they turned to a church. I thought that was a little concerning.
00:02:46
Speaker
And ah one reason stated was that they simply do not find a listening ear. They also said they have a hard time finding someone that they're confident really cares about them.
00:03:00
Speaker
But I know as parents that you do. You care about your child.
Insights from 3 John
00:03:03
Speaker
In some ways, I think that parenting could be compared to shepherding. As a matter of fact, Ted Tripp wrote a book called Shepherding a Child's Heart, and it was one of my wife's favorite books that she read during our early years parenting.
00:03:20
Speaker
I just finished joyfully investing in the hearts of over 100 children during a week of vacation Bible school here at our church. Kids are so precious, and they're fun to be around.
00:03:32
Speaker
My two girls are now 28 and 25, so they're definitely not ah children anymore. ah But I believe that in some ways, I'm still shepherding their hearts, even at 25 and 28 years of age.
00:03:47
Speaker
Although a pastor... This is my own personal conviction. My family is still the most important flock that God has entrusted to my care. Do you feel that way about your children?
00:04:00
Speaker
I hope that you do, even if they're adults. You know, 3 John is the shortest book in the New Testament, and it was written by the apostle John to a younger pastor that he had mentored named Gaius.
00:04:13
Speaker
Now, John sent the brief epistle by another trusted man named Demetrius to warn this young pastor named Gaius of a spiritual wolf named Diotrephes who would harm the flock that Gaius was watching over for Christ.
00:04:33
Speaker
So when I read through this little letter, I thought, you know, 3 John offers us a brief glimpse of six types of people that are either in our child's life right now, or they will be one day.
00:04:46
Speaker
Most of these, we should actually be praying that these types of people would enter our child's lives, but...
Types of Influential People
00:04:56
Speaker
ah Pretty soon, we're going to get down to talking about diatrophies, and you definitely want to pray that there will not be a diatrophies in their world because this type of a person will spiritually harm our little lambs.
00:05:11
Speaker
But what's really fun to think about is that the other five types of people that we'll see in this ah interesting third John is going to introduce us to people that will help protect your child when they move away from your house.
00:05:27
Speaker
So you may want to pay attention and listen to these words as we look at them together. It's a really short letter, so let me read it through and then make a few comments. The elder...
00:05:38
Speaker
to the beloved Gaius, whom I love in truth. Beloved, I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health as it goes well with your soul.
00:05:50
Speaker
For I rejoiced greatly when the brothers came and testified to your truth, as indeed you're walking in the truth. I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth." Beloved, it is a faithful thing you do in all your efforts for these brothers, strangers as they are, who testified to your love before the church.
00:06:16
Speaker
You will do well to send them on their journey in a manner worthy of God, for they have gone out for the sake of the name, accepting nothing from the Gentiles.
00:06:28
Speaker
Therefore, we ought to support people like these, that they may be fellow workers for the truth." I have written something to the church, but Diotrephes, who likes to put himself first, does not acknowledge our authority.
00:06:44
Speaker
So if I come, i will bring up what he's doing, talking wicked nonsense against us and not content, With that, he refuses to welcome the brothers and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church.
00:07:01
Speaker
Beloved, do not imitate evil, but imitate good. Whoever does good is from God. Whoever does evil has not seen God.
00:07:13
Speaker
Demetrius has received a good testimony from everyone and from the truth itself. We also add our testimony, and you know that our testimony is true.
00:07:25
Speaker
I had much to write to you, but I would rather not write with pen and ink. I hope to see soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace be to you.
00:07:36
Speaker
The friends greet you. Greet the friends each by name. Well, let's look at this little letter, 3 John, and consider some of the people that we want to pray would enter our children's lives as they move out from our home and and go into other worlds and other relationships.
00:07:55
Speaker
But then we might should pray that they don't have someone like this one fellow diatrophies in their life. So number one, let's look at verses one through four and consider one type of group you want to pray enters your child's life, the trainers.
00:08:13
Speaker
You know, John the Apostle would be considered the trainer. He calls himself the elder. So it's a a term that refers to his maturity. He's seasoned in the Lord.
00:08:25
Speaker
He's got something that he can offer ah to any young person that goes to the church where he's faithfully serving. And so I want to encourage you to pray that God would lead your young person, that is your child,
00:08:41
Speaker
now that they're ah an adult, to a place that would help them to continue to grow in grace, to grow in spiritual maturity. What should that person look like?
00:08:53
Speaker
Well, there's at least four things that I saw here that characterize John the Apostle as he just sort of opens up and is transparent about how he feels about this young pastor named Gaius.
00:09:08
Speaker
The first thing is affirmation. Did you catch what he says to Gaius? The elder to the beloved Gaius. You know, I believe that he cared. You know, remember, that's what Gen Z is looking for.
00:09:21
Speaker
Is there anybody that genuinely cares for me when I go to your church? If you have an adult child, just know that they want to know, do you really and truly care about them?
00:09:32
Speaker
Let them know that. But here's another thing. He says, I pray that all may go well with you. Do you actually spend any time praying in intercession for your children?
00:09:44
Speaker
I'm not talking about writing them, whether you text them or email them or you get on social media and all of that. But I'm saying, do you ever talk to God on their behalf?
00:09:55
Speaker
Let me encourage you to try that if you haven't. A third thing that I see the apostle John doing for Gaius anyway was he also edified him.
00:10:07
Speaker
So there's affirmation and intercession and there's edification. He says, as it goes well with your soul. He mentions the word truth. Do you ever speak truth into your children?
00:10:21
Speaker
Even though they're adults and they've got minds of their own, Don't don't under underestimate how valuable your words are when you speak truth and you try to help them keep growing in Christ.
00:10:35
Speaker
You know, that word edification means to build up. So there's a lot of things in this world that are going to try to tear down, but you need to keep on building up your child with biblical truth.
00:10:51
Speaker
But then the last thing I noticed was he talks about how he rejoiced greatly and he has no greater joy. Do you ever just celebrate when your child walks in truth?
00:11:03
Speaker
That's what he says that he was doing. And I think we should do that as well. If you ever do hear of your adult son or daughter doing something right, Oh, how important it would be to affirm them in that and say, you know what?
00:11:18
Speaker
I'm really impressed that I see this or that taking place in your life. So those are just a few things that we should pray that now that we're no longer there, that God would bring in someone who's going to be like a trainer.
00:11:32
Speaker
that's going to help them. But let's go from the trainers to the teachers. This is the second group. And I think that they could be compared to, well, Gaius, because Gaius was a pastor.
00:11:44
Speaker
He was definitely training other people. But I thought to myself, you know, I don't think every person who's going to instruct my daughters, I don't think they're all pastors.
00:11:55
Speaker
They may not even be a staff member. And yet there's something that's very beneficial about their influence on my daughters. What kind of people should we pray the Lord will bring into our sons and our daughters' lives so that they keep growing in truth?
00:12:13
Speaker
Well, I would say, let's pray for these kind of people like Gaius here who loved the truth. You know, it says that ah Paul, ah not Paul, John, it says, I testified to your truth.
00:12:27
Speaker
I really think that Gaius had a deep love for biblical truth. We should pray that God would bring into our children's lives people who have a love for the truth of God's Word.
00:12:40
Speaker
I remember over in the Psalms, there's a place where the Psalmist said, I love thy law. You know, it's one thing to say, I believe thy law, I teach thy law, but it's another thing to say, I love the Word of God. Do you love the Word of God?
00:12:56
Speaker
Well, Gaius was not only loving the Word of God, there was something else he was doing. He was living the Word of God. He was living the truth. He didn't just love the truth, he lived the truth.
00:13:08
Speaker
He says, "...as you walk in truth." So I was thinking, thank you, Lord, for men and women who are out there who can be brought into our children's lives, even if it's another city, another state.
Church Community's Role
00:13:23
Speaker
They can come into our child's lives and say, you know what? I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me. And when our child gets to know them, how powerful would it be if they were living out Scripture right before their lives? Amen.
00:13:39
Speaker
Another thing is, do we did we ever pray and ask God, Lord, would you bring into my child's life someone who is loyal to the truth? You know, he said, it is a faithful thing you do.
00:13:54
Speaker
you know, we should pray that God would lead into our children's lives people who are good examples, good role models, people who would say, you know what, Lord, I just want you to say well done when I get to the end of my journey on this earth.
00:14:12
Speaker
You know, John was big on loving, right? But let me tell you something. John was also a tiger when it came to truth. He stood for truth and he was loyal to it.
00:14:22
Speaker
But not only was he loyal to it, somehow when he discipled Gaius, He deposited it that same love for truth, that same desire to live truth, that same desire to be loyal to the truth into Gaius.
00:14:37
Speaker
And now there he is, wherever he's serving, he's making a positive difference. So anyway, I just encourage you to pray that God would bring into your child's life people that would be like Gaius.
00:14:51
Speaker
But then I thought about the trailblazers in verse 3 and verses 5 through 8. More than likely, the group that's being referred to here as brothers, they were itinerant missionaries.
00:15:04
Speaker
They were people that were moving around and so forth. So it could be that this could be compared, let's say these days, how about podcasts? Or how about you know someone that has a website, and so your child sees them or hears them, listens to them.
00:15:20
Speaker
Or maybe it's someone that comes in you know for a special conference or convention or ah something like that, someone they hear on the radio. But camps, camp missionaries would definitely fall into this as well.
00:15:36
Speaker
But what kind of trailblazers are the best? Well, I would say verses five and six would tell us those that are connected to churches. I think those are definitely important trailblazers.
00:15:48
Speaker
but then not only connected to churches, but those who are sent out by churches. In other words, other churches would endorse these people. They're not going rogue.
00:16:00
Speaker
They're not saying, i don't care about biblical truth. I don't care about accountability to churches. No, they're they're actually supported by local churches. Verses 7 and 8 would remind us of that.
00:16:13
Speaker
But it's all to remind us that the kingdom is bigger than we are. You know, God's kingdom is bigger than we who are parents. The kingdom is bigger than our home and bigger than our family, but it's also bigger than our church.
00:16:28
Speaker
And so we should remember, okay, God's vision and his kingdom can also include some of these trailblazers that God would bring in to my child's life.
00:16:40
Speaker
Let me move to a fourth group. How about verse six and nine and 10 and 15? I think I would call these the team players.
00:16:50
Speaker
This is where I think we're referring to churches. He actually mentions church ah about three different times here. And then he mentions friends in verse 15 twice.
00:17:02
Speaker
You know, I think we should pray that our kids have two more teams in their lives besides us. Are you ready for them? We are to pray that God give them a church team and Lord, wherever they live, give them a friend team.
00:17:19
Speaker
You know, Jesus spoke about friends in John 15, 11 through 15. And I believe he said, I and no longer call you friends, servants, but I call you friends.
00:17:30
Speaker
You know, I think a friend is somebody we can laugh with, someone who cares about us, someone who's loyal, someone that is going to help to lead us in the right direction, someone who listens to us when our hearts are heavy.
00:17:45
Speaker
That's a friend team. I would put down John 15 verses 11 through 15 as a good explanation of the friend team. But Hebrews 10, 24 and 25 is a great admonition for people to be connected to a church team.
00:18:02
Speaker
Yeah, church team. You know, I believe that young people who go to college, young people who move away and start setting up in their first career. They start having children and all those kinds things.
00:18:15
Speaker
You know, for a while, I watched this happen. They try to do life without God. And many times it leads to heartbreak when they try to do life without God. They they fall out of church. They get away from God's word.
00:18:28
Speaker
What are they missing? They're missing motivation. They're missing association and affirmation. All of those good things that they would have found in a local church if they would have taken the time.
00:18:41
Speaker
It's possible that the church that John was referring to would have been Ephesus. But nevertheless, where it was, he definitely was speaking about a church and speaking about a group of people he called friends.
00:18:56
Speaker
And so I think we should also pray, Lord, give our kids team players, give our kids trailblazers and teachers and trainers.
00:19:08
Speaker
But here's the fifth group. How about verse 12 as we look at Demetrius? He was a virtuous man. He was a good man. Demetrius was what I would call ah transformer.
00:19:20
Speaker
He was a transformer. Demetrius was the kind of guy that you would say, God, please tether my son or my daughter to somebody just like that.
00:19:32
Speaker
You know, I believe that Demetrius is an example of somebody that you would say, Lord, my son or my daughter, they need encouragement from time to time. So if you look at verse 3 and you look at verse 14, you would see examples of encouraging people.
00:19:49
Speaker
You know, he says, I rejoiced when brethren came and testified of the truth that is in you just as you walk in the truth. He talks about in verse 14, our friends greet you.
00:20:01
Speaker
Greet the friends by name. You know, I believe that we should tether our kids to encouragers. Do you know anybody in that area where they are? Maybe you could drop a hint to that friend and say, hey, my son or daughter's over there.
00:20:17
Speaker
Would you love on them? But also, how about this? I think we should also pray that God would tether our son or daughter to the extensions, like verses five through eight.
00:20:28
Speaker
You know, I believe that there are intake opportunities for new believers and for those that have been walking with the Lord for a long time where we would say, okay, they need to be around brothers.
00:20:43
Speaker
They need to be around people that are going to love them and ah and edify them. There are also opportunities for new believers to influence others.
00:20:53
Speaker
you know It could be that your son or daughter, maybe they're new believer, maybe they're not. Maybe they are seasoned, even though they're just a young adult. But nevertheless, they need to say, wait a minute, if I don't plug into a church, am I actually working with other people to win others to Christ?
00:21:13
Speaker
Or am I just coasting? Am I just sort of on a spiritual treadmill? So we need to say, Lord, please put around my son or daughter, people that will help them to reach out and people that will also pour in to my son or daughter.
00:21:30
Speaker
And of course, you know verses 11 and 12, when you're looking at Demetrius, he says, Demetrius has a good testimony from all and from the truth itself. And we also bear witness and you know that our testimony is true.
00:21:45
Speaker
So we ought to say, Lord, those that are good, godly examples, positive role models, we ought to say, Lord, put them around my kids.
00:21:55
Speaker
Even though we're not around them daily like we once were, please help us, oh Lord, to have those kind of people around those that we care so much. So we are to say, Lord, please help them to have a good testimony and help them be around those who are going to be a good testimony to our sons and our daughters.
Guarding Against Negative Influences
00:22:16
Speaker
Well, we have to look at him because the fact of the matter is not everyone in this life, not everyone in our world is going to be a transformer.
00:22:27
Speaker
that's gonna help our a son or daughter to to grow further through the encouragement and through the extensions and the examples and so forth. Not everyone is gonna be a team player, a trailblazer, a teacher, a trainer.
00:22:41
Speaker
It's gonna be some that'll be like Diotrephes and he was a troublemaker. Let me read his section again in verses nine and 10. I've written something to the church by Diotrephes who likes to put himself first,
00:22:57
Speaker
does not acknowledge our authority So if I come, i will bring up what he's doing, talking wicked nonsense against us and not content with that.
00:23:08
Speaker
He refuses to welcome the brothers and also stops those who want to and puts them out of the church. So you can get this idea about this man and what's going on. I mean, he's definitely spiritually, he's sick. It's like he's got a spiritual disease of some some type.
00:23:28
Speaker
But oh, how terrible it is if they're hanging out on social media around someone like a diatrophies, or if maybe there's someone... In their job, they've got an occupational mentor, and the mentor may be great in terms of you know the type of work they're doing, but they're They're influencing your son, your daughter in a negative way, and it's impacting their lives.
00:23:55
Speaker
And so when I look at his life, I think, what are the things that they need to look out for? What are the things that I can pray that God would keep you know this kind of a person away from my son or daughter for?
00:24:10
Speaker
Well, let me give you four that I see here real quickly with diatrophies. One is the type of person that has a a domineering motive. A domineering motive.
00:24:21
Speaker
It says he likes to put himself first. In other words, have you ever been around somebody in the workplace or in relationships? And it's like, it's either their way or the highway.
00:24:33
Speaker
I mean, it's like no middle ground. They always have to have it the way that they prefer for it to be. That's kind of domineering, isn't it? So that's one kind of person you want to say, Lord, please don't let my son or daughter be hanging out with people that are so self-centered that everything is about them.
00:24:55
Speaker
But there's also those defiant attitudes. You see, this diatrophies, he does not acknowledge our authority is what the apostle John said. There are some people that would say, oh you don't have to do what your parents say anymore.
00:25:10
Speaker
Oh, you don't have to do what the Bible says anymore, what God says. you know You don't have to do what a church says. So there are some people in this world who are going to try to say, you be the only authority in your life. You don't have to be accountable to anyone anymore.
00:25:29
Speaker
You're an adult now. So grow up and and ah be who you want to be, that sort of idea. So definitely someone with a domineering motive, somebody with a defiant attitude, someone that has destructive words.
00:25:46
Speaker
You know, have you ever heard that old saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Well, that's not true. that's That's not a bit true.
00:25:56
Speaker
If you've ever been hurt by anyone's words, you know that words are very powerful and they can hurt. And that's why it was so important that he identified diatrophies was talking wicked nonsense.
00:26:11
Speaker
You know, we need to pray that God would shield our children, their hearts, their ears, their eyes from, you know, hearing or seeing all of these kind of words and things that will simply be destructive and that will dismantle their life for the Lord Jesus Christ.
00:26:32
Speaker
And then, of course, divisive actions. There are some people that that they they don't want any loyalty to anything else other than them. And so they try to divide people's loyalty ah so that they get all divided up, and then they're never loyal to anybody or anything.
00:26:52
Speaker
And that's what he basically is saying. He refuses to welcome the brothers. So he's trying to keep you know the church people away. He doesn't want anybody to to get in the way there of what he wants.
00:27:05
Speaker
You know, I thought about and I thought, well, in a way you got Gaius and he's the one who gave hospitality. And you got Demetrius, he was the one who received hospitality. But then you've got odiotrophies here.
00:27:19
Speaker
He's the one who refuses hospitality. I'm telling you, ah these are all people that are out there in our children's world. And so some of them are good type people.
00:27:31
Speaker
We need to pray that the Lord would bring trainers into our child's life, like pastors and others that will invest in them. We need to pray for teachers, not just academic teachers, but I'm talking about influencers.
00:27:46
Speaker
you know especially in this day and time, they have people who are like social media influencers. So by teachers, I mean those who are going to influence and those who are going to say, this is the truth.
00:27:58
Speaker
This is the way life really is. But we also need to pray for those trailblazers, whether they're online, whether they're at a camp, or whether it's you know someone just coming in and going out of our children's lives.
00:28:12
Speaker
And then team players, they need to be connected to a ah church team and to a friend team. But then they need also those personal relationships that are very transforming, transformational.
00:28:26
Speaker
Those that'll be kind of like a Demetrius. You hang around them, you tether your life to them, and man, you're going to be encouraged and edified. But oh my goodness, let's pray that they don't get around odiotrophies because he is nothing but a troublemaker for your kids.
Closing Prayer for Children
00:28:45
Speaker
So let's close in prayer and pray that God would watch over our kids because I got a feeling there's probably some of you that are gonna be exactly like what I'm describing. Let's pray for our kids.
00:28:56
Speaker
Lord, kids are a gift. They're such a a blessing and such a wonderful gift treat that you give to our lives. And I thank you for the short opportunity that we have to influence them for you, to invest in them.
00:29:12
Speaker
But Lord, there comes that day when they move away. And so that's why, Lord, we wanted to look at 3 John as one place that we could pray over our adult kids as they go to college.
00:29:25
Speaker
as they set up their homes, as they start their jobs in the adult world. Please, Lord, help our kids stay true to Jesus Christ. It's in his name that we pray.
00:29:38
Speaker
Amen. Well, thank you so much for being with us today at Growing in Grace. I pray that these things are helping you to grow in grace. Here's my promise to you. I will always take God's word and try to help develop some new life skills in your life.
00:29:55
Speaker
So don't resist what God might want to say. Why don't you welcome it? And I know God will bless you for it. You take care and have a great day.
00:30:08
Speaker
This is a ministry of First Baptist Church located at 1700 Milam Street, Columbus, Texas.