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Dear Type 1, Put Down The Red Pen
26 Plays10 months ago
If you’ve ever rewritten a text five times, organized your bookshelf by theme and color, or silently corrected someone’s grammar mid-conversation… you might be a Type 1 on the Enneagram.
In this episode of STILL YOU, we’re getting real (and a little ridiculous) about Enneagram Type 1: The Reformer. Learn what drives this perfectionist personality — including their relentless inner critic, need for order, and deep desire to be good, responsible, and right.
We’ll explore:
- What it really means to be a Type 1
- Common struggles (hello, burnout and self-judgment)
- The surprising path to healing and fun (yes, fun!)
- How Type 1s show up in relationships, work, and personal growth
- Their growth and stress numbers (7 and 4, anyone?)
Whether you're a textbook Type 1, suspect you’ve got some 1-wing tendencies, or just want to understand the Ones in your life — this episode blends humor, heart, and helpful insights to get you thinking, laughing, and hopefully... putting down that red pen.
💬 Connect with us @StillYouPodcast for polls,, and behind-the-scenes stories.
🎧 Subscribe and share with your fellow perfectionists — they’ll thank you .
Resources: The Wisdom of The Enneagram by Don Richard Riso & Russ Hudson, The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Crohn.
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction to 'Still You' Podcast
00:00:07
KateLynn Bundy
Hey, hey, hello. It's Caitlin, your podcast host for Still You, the podcast where we peel back the layers of your personality like an emotional onion that you are, guided by the wisdom of the Enneagram. I'm so obsessed. I'm your host, like I said, and today we are getting...
Understanding Type Ones: Traits and Challenges
00:00:27
KateLynn Bundy
up close and personal, although they're going to hate it, with the Enneagram type one. There are reformers, also known as the improver, perfectionists, those ethical babes, those who ah organizes their closet by color, season, and emotional significance.
00:00:46
KateLynn Bundy
So whether you are a type one raised by a type one or dating a type one or just confused why your coworker won't let you staple anything crooked, this episode is for
Type One in Real Life: Kara's Example
00:01:00
KateLynn Bundy
you. From your drive to do what is right to that inner critic that won't just shut the fuck up, even when you're trying to enjoy it.
00:01:08
KateLynn Bundy
that nice sunday afternoon nap we're gonna get up close and personal to practical and yes a little cheeky as we explore the beautiful complexity of our type ones and their personality and how to lovingly disarm that inner critic lovingly known around here as wanda we will get into that so for today We're just going to go over the initial basics of the type one because, again, the Enneagram is just so dynamic with a ton of layers that we'd be here for hours, honestly, going through every in and out aspect of the type one. So let's paint some pictures of real life examples to help you identify the ones in your life. Because, again, listening to, sorry if you can hear my straight,
00:01:57
KateLynn Bundy
we're moving soon and it will become much more quieter around here. But, um, so let's identify some real life examples to help you identify the type ones in your life.
00:02:09
KateLynn Bundy
Because as I was saying, it is so important to listen to all of these episodes, um, not just for the, um, listens and the views. Amen.
00:02:19
KateLynn Bundy
Um, Um, but hearing more about other types other than yourself, it's the key. It's the secret sauce to really getting all of this. But let's see.
00:02:31
KateLynn Bundy
So let's say you are on a road trip with a type one. They are the ones who pack the snacks. They printed the directions. They confirmed the hotel reservation more than once. And they They're probably going to recalculate your gas mileage because someone yeah did not fill the gas tank all the way full or something like that.
00:02:53
KateLynn Bundy
but At work, they are the person who says, let's just get it right the first time while twitching their eyes at your fourth typo. That actually reminds me of a girl I had in this book club that I used to run.
00:03:07
KateLynn Bundy
It was a book club that I did with just self-help books. I've been on a journey, y'all. Kara is her name. Yeah, Kara. Girl, I miss her.
00:03:18
KateLynn Bundy
um but she was just so funny. I vibed with her so well, but every time we would go to discuss these books and what everyone thought, her main critiques on every single book was always the the grammar and the editing and just the the way it sounded, like the voice behind these words.
00:03:38
KateLynn Bundy
She just like would be like, I just tried to get through it and i it was so hard, but I got through it. I'm like, girl, it's like You're sounding like someone's torturing you. Like, chill.
00:03:49
KateLynn Bundy
Don't tell a type one to chill. Poor me. But it was just such a classic example. And I knew she was a type one. She was um in that group of girls that helped me discover the Enneagram. But that was just, that's such a great example of a type one. But um so in relationships, ones are very loyal and dependable. They might need help relaxing into fun without feeling that guilt or whatever, sense of guilt looming overhead.
00:04:18
KateLynn Bundy
i have a My brother and his wife are and another good example of this. I know you guys don't know them, but allow me to explain. So his wife is a type one and he's a type seven, which is important. And we'll get into that here in a second, why it's significant.
00:04:32
KateLynn Bundy
Um, she was always very rigid, militant, routines, blah, blah, blah. And he's the exact opposite. So like literally opposites did attract here. And he just like had the open door for game night and friends while she's like, can you not like, let's call me before you're knocking on my door. And he just wants to have fun, blah, blah, blah.
00:04:54
KateLynn Bundy
So seeing their relationship evolve over the years has been actually really beautiful. They've been together for over 10 years now and she has become so much more relaxed, easier to be around. She plays the games. She's just a lot more chill while he, on the other hand, has benefited from her in following through with things. And, um,
00:05:17
KateLynn Bundy
being more organized, stuff like that. So they've really worked on their relationship. like God bless them. So let's get into the heart of our perfectionists, our reformers, which we'll talk about.
The Ethical Drive of Type Ones: Fears and Motivations
00:05:33
KateLynn Bundy
So type ones are really driven by a deep desire to do google to do good, to to to be right, do right, and be ethical. At their core, they want to live with integrity and make the world a better place. Like, yes, thank you, which is so admirable.
00:05:51
KateLynn Bundy
um until it turns into fixing everyone and everything unsolicited. Yes, you know who you are. But their basic fear is, we probably are catching on here, is being bad, corrupt, or defective in some way.
00:06:07
KateLynn Bundy
And their basic desire is, again, the opposite of that, to be good and to have integrity. So yeah, these types, they are not your laid back, go with the flow sort of folk.
00:06:19
KateLynn Bundy
They live with this like righteous fire in their bones, which speaks to me so much. I love it. um Think of Leslie Knope. She's so funny, and that's such a great example of a type one because she upholds these high standards for herself, even when it's inconvenient.
00:06:38
KateLynn Bundy
I'm thinking of like that episode where that gazebo is about to get, the old-timey gazebo is about to get torn down, and she chains herself to the fence and like... in her protest. It's just so funny and such a great example of a type one.
00:06:53
KateLynn Bundy
But um type ones have this sense of a mission that drives them to improve the world in various ways and and in whatever degree of influence they have. So whether it's the stay-at-home mom raising the kids the right way or the HR employee ensuring that justice is served in the workplace and that everything is fair, like also Thank you. We need that.
00:07:19
KateLynn Bundy
Or maybe there' that there's a type one who's on a mission to build that nonprofit that houses homeless pets and children or whatever, right? and They don't have to be, you know, the Ghandis of the world.
00:07:32
KateLynn Bundy
They can be everyone, obviously, and they can implement change in their environment if they feel convicted to do so. And history really is ripe with the one type ones who left their very normal or comfy lives to do something extraordinary that truly changed the world and history forever.
00:07:50
KateLynn Bundy
They felt that higher calling, like like missionaries. They... Who really go to Africa and raise their families just to spread the gospel. And Gandhi, like I said, that's a great example. He was a successful lawyer who left his family to become an advocate for Indian independence and nonviolent social changes. Like,
00:08:10
KateLynn Bundy
I could never. never. god I like food too much. Thank you, Gandhi, for your service. But ones truly, truly are a special breed to have this level of conviction and then to take action. like that that gives me goosebumps because I love that.
00:08:29
KateLynn Bundy
They are such a necessary part of our society. And hopefully... All ones, all of them, you better be using your powers for good and not evil. Okay? If there's any type ones out there using it for evil, we're going to come find you.
00:08:45
KateLynn Bundy
Us eights and good the good healthy ones, we're going to come find
Struggles with Inner Critic and Perfectionism
00:08:49
KateLynn Bundy
you. Okay? I have a special set of skills. All right. No, that was... So moving on Ones need, absolutely need to be useful in the best sense of the word, even if it means creating order or in their environment, like organizing their desk or pantry or something.
00:09:09
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah. And they are the people that have loading the dishwasher down to a science and you cannot convince them otherwise. They, I have a personal vendetta with dishwasher loaders, but they feel that they have to justify their actions to themselves and often to others as well.
00:09:30
KateLynn Bundy
This causes them to spend a lot of time thinking about the consequence the consequences of their actions, which honestly, can everyone do more of that, please?
00:09:41
KateLynn Bundy
But they're also contemplating about how to keep from acting contrary to their convictions, like basically to not be a hypocrite, which again, thank you. like We have a a lot to be thankful for with our type ones.
00:09:55
KateLynn Bundy
But um if you listen to last week's episode, i talked about the triad. So the head triad, gut triad, and the heart triad. Go back to listen. Go and listen to that because I'm about to get into it a little bit.
00:10:08
KateLynn Bundy
um I don't want you to feel like lost or confused, but type ones convince themselves that they're head types, but they're not because they think they think that they're rationalists who proceed only on logic and objective truth, but the real pickpicks.
00:10:28
KateLynn Bundy
Okay, sorry about that. i hate My light died on me and I had to add another extra cord to this web of cords I have in front of me. um But where were we? Okay, we were talking about head types, how the type 7 thinks that they're a head type, but it's just not true.
00:10:44
KateLynn Bundy
The real picture is different. So ones are actually activists who are searching for an acceptable rationale for what they feel they must do. They are people of instinct, passion, and they use their instincts. Remember, they are in the gut triad.
00:11:02
KateLynn Bundy
They use their instincts and judgments and convictions to control and direct themselves and their actions. So in the effort... to stay true to their principles. I'm like out of breath. I walked like five feet to grab this cord. I'm like, hold on.
00:11:19
KateLynn Bundy
Lord Almighty. So in the effort to stay true to their principles, they resist being affected by their instinctual drives.
00:11:31
KateLynn Bundy
They're consciously not giving into them or expressing them too freely So this results in the type of person who has problems with repression, resistance, and aggression.
00:11:43
KateLynn Bundy
They can be seen by others as self-controlled or maybe even rigid, but that's just not how they experience themselves. So... Pause on that because it really is important to remember that for each and every type, we experience ourselves differently than the world does.
00:12:01
KateLynn Bundy
Right. That makes that's common sense when you think about it, when you hear it. um But when you start to like understand that and see that about everyone, it really helps you like see everyone so much more objectively.
00:12:14
KateLynn Bundy
And um you can move into the world with so much ease and grace. It's just, I just remember when I had that realization that, man, it was sort of a game changer for me. But for type ones dealing with their repression of their desires and instincts, it's like it's like they're sitting on top of a cauldron of passions and desires that they had better, you know, keep a lid on before they explode.
00:12:41
KateLynn Bundy
and everything and everyone around them like regrets it. So think of those like with a short fuse that can apply here, but calm down, like chill. I had a short fuse. I'm not a type one, but I am in that anger triad that eights, nines and ones we have rage problems, but, um, don't take that for like dogma.
00:13:04
KateLynn Bundy
But when I was little, when I was a little raging hormonal girl, teenager, yeah you bet I had a short fuse. Oh, and I also had three older brothers. Like give me a freaking break, but still I did have a short fuse. My poor mother.
00:13:19
KateLynn Bundy
Anyway, so type ones think that being strict of themselves with hopes of being perfect will justify themselves in their own eyes and to end in the eyes of others.
00:13:32
KateLynn Bundy
So this personal brand of perfection creates their own personal hell called Yep, Wanda, that inner critic who just shows up sounding like your grumpy ethics professor with a megaphone and a checklist. And that is a great segue into our next segment.
00:13:53
KateLynn Bundy
Yes, the one's inner critic. This is going to be intense, so buckle up. Wanda, yeah, she's not your not-so-silent partner. She's the real MVP in a type 1's life, that inner critic.
00:14:10
KateLynn Bundy
Gosh, I'm calling her Wanda because it just sounds like a judgmental person. But if you're an actual Wanda, and also it's probably not a common name, but sorry if you are. Like, no hate.
00:14:23
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. I could have used the word named Karen, but i know. That's annoying. But if you are a type one you know this voice all too well, too intimately. It's that little narrator in your head giving play-by-plays of everything you should have done differently.
00:14:40
KateLynn Bundy
You forgot to send that email. You should have recycled that plastic. Ding dong. Ding dong. You ate the carbs again. ah Loser. a my God, Wanda, chill. She's relentless.
00:14:53
KateLynn Bundy
She's loud. She knows exactly how to ruin that Sunday afternoon nap with a quick reminder of your email inbox and its moral failure because it's too full. One unread email. Oh, my God.
00:15:06
KateLynn Bundy
But Wanda sounds different for for every type one. For some, she quotes that ah she quotes your childhood Sunday school teacher or others. She might be that passive-aggressive coworker kind of sounding.
00:15:19
KateLynn Bundy
Either way, she's always asking, could you be doing this better? And ones believe her. It's exhausting. I could never. That that does sound like a personal hell. But the kicker is the voice doesn't just judge you.
00:15:33
KateLynn Bundy
It judges everyone else too. But while ones may notice others flaws, they're often the hardest on themselves. And so this inner tension can feel can make life feel like a constant self-improvement project with no finish line. like The goalposts are always moving.
00:15:52
KateLynn Bundy
That's also exhausting. You guys need to... Lord almighty. But average ones... And remember, there are levels of health to the Enneagram. So there's average, there's healthy, there's unhealthy with all varying degrees in all of those categories. So that's why...
00:16:09
KateLynn Bundy
you know, this is just so dynamic and can be hard to wrap your head around, but just remember that you can't take, like, you can't take one fact about a type one and apply it to everybody because you don't know where they're at in their personal growth journey and all that stuff. So it's not a tool to actually judge people and just, you know, size them up right away.
00:16:35
KateLynn Bundy
um Okay, that's not what we're here for. So average ones. um they're a little sensitive to criticism. They're actually, they're really highly sensitive to criticism. criticism So does I remind you of anybody? But knowing their background of severe self-criticism, this is not surprising.
00:16:56
KateLynn Bundy
So any further negative feedback they get from the people around them, this is like particularly devastating and threatening to them. So the only ways type ones feel that they can escape Wanda are self-criticizing queen.
00:17:12
KateLynn Bundy
is by being perfect, which makes sense, right? There's like weird logic in that, but it's impossible. But don't tell a type one done.
Navigating Well-being and Relationships
00:17:22
KateLynn Bundy
I know sometimes that is like such a good freaking giveaway of a type one when I say like, oh, it doesn't need to be perfect. Like it's done.
00:17:29
KateLynn Bundy
That dishwasher, the fucking dishwasher. Like that's the perfect example. If I'm loading the dishwasher with someone, like And I'm like, oh, it's done. Like, it's all in there. Like, dishwasher is going to do its job. doesn't need be perfect.
00:17:43
KateLynn Bundy
They look at me like they're going to chop my head off. And I'm like, bruh, chill. It's a dishwasher. Calm down. I know I'm triggering some people right now. I'm sorry, but that's just my personal experience.
00:18:02
KateLynn Bundy
But we'll get into it while you do need to chill. But Don't come for me. Don't come at me, okay? But perfectionism really is impossible. Even when they give it their best efforts, they still feel that nothing less than perfection will be acceptable to them or to others who other people would be less disappointed in them than the type one would feel on the inside about themselves. So they just feel that they can never take a day off.
00:18:29
KateLynn Bundy
There's this quote by um this author and clinical psychologist, Anne Schaaf. Yeah. The quote is, ah you here are you ready for this?
00:18:40
KateLynn Bundy
who Perfectionism is self-abuse of the highest order. Yeah. Let's say that again. Perfectionism is self-abuse in the highest order.
00:18:51
KateLynn Bundy
I really hope that hit home for some of you because it's true. that's ah That's a literal hell. But no matter how critical or destructive of their self-confidence Wanda is to the type one, they still feel that Wanda is the sole voice of reason. They're their guiding star that will lead them to salvation. Like this is the only way.
00:19:15
KateLynn Bundy
But if only, I mean, if only type ones knew how Wanda is actually destroying their integrity and harming not only themselves, but their relationships.
00:19:28
KateLynn Bundy
But once you type ones start to identify with Wanda and where and when she's the loudest, it can give you a real but maybe shaky sense of self-confidence. it And that's difficult for type ones to question or to change.
00:19:44
KateLynn Bundy
That is until they start to see how destructive that inner critic truly, truly is. But here so the real work here is not to kill Wanda. It's to unlock from her voice.
00:19:57
KateLynn Bundy
You don't need to be tied at the hip anymore, okay? you Type 1s just need to recognize that you are not your inner critic. You are not your mistakes. And you are not required to be perfect in order to be lovable, okay?
00:20:12
KateLynn Bundy
We love you guys. So let's get into more of the mushy gush because we love that. um But before you guys start growing and crying into your color-coded planner, sorry, that's a dig, but But that's just me. That's my personality. I love cracking jokes.
00:20:30
KateLynn Bundy
But let's talk about the gifts of the type one, the good stuff. We all love, especially me, hearing about how wonderful we all are. So let's get into it. This is for the healthy ones, okay? This is what we're talking about here, the healthy ones who who go, who migrate to the type 7 when they are on the path of growth and discovering their true essence, okay? We talked a little bit about you know, my brother and his wife are the perfect example. She needs him
00:21:00
KateLynn Bundy
in his life. If you can find a he if you type 1s can find a healthy 7 in your life, be besties. It will be very uncomfortable for you, but it's the best thing for you.
00:21:12
KateLynn Bundy
But anyway, type 1s are some of the most principled, responsible, and dependable people on this motherfucking planet.
Healthy Type Ones: Growth and Compassion
00:21:22
KateLynn Bundy
They believe in fairness, justice. They follow through.
00:21:27
KateLynn Bundy
And if a type one says they're going to be there at 9 a.m., guess what time they're showing up? 8.57. These are my people. And they brought extra pens and brownies. you know, I love it.
00:21:38
KateLynn Bundy
And I know I'm cracking a lot of jokes about their color-coded planners and organizing the dishwasher, but they really do have a natural talent for organizing and editing and improving systems.
00:21:52
KateLynn Bundy
And they're the person in the group project who's actually doing the work while Everyone else is um vibing in chaos, but hey, nope, not me. Okay. I'm, I'm, I'm there helping you guys do, do the work.
00:22:05
KateLynn Bundy
I'm not, I'm not a slacker. So I'm with us eights or with the type ones and type threes doing the group project. um That will make more sense as you get to know the Enneagram, but here's the secret sauce.
00:22:19
KateLynn Bundy
When ones learn to soften their self-judgment, they become deeply compassionate and wise. Their sense of moral clarity does not have to be rigid. It can be deeply loving. So pretty. And they have a drive to be honest in what they say, not only with what they say, but what they do. They are the ones who truly walk the path.
00:22:42
KateLynn Bundy
walk, which are my kind of people. See, you guys are getting to know me. um And again, we need more of that in the world. They say what they mean and they do what they say. This integrity is inspiring and so motivational for for everyone.
00:22:57
KateLynn Bundy
That's why we need you guys. We need you to be healthy, okay? Healthy ones combine moral clarity with a soft heart. They're not driven by shoulds or shame. They're moved by purpose and presence. They become more playful, more spontaneous, and they begin to integrate some of that energy from the type seven, which is joyful, light, enthusiastic, because ah go find your type seven friends, please.
00:23:23
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. Healthy ones reinforce their sense of integrity by developing a set of clear principles that they live by. sense sorry Central to that is a sense of even-handedness, of wanting others to be treated fairly.
00:23:39
KateLynn Bundy
But healthy ones utilize fairly. flexible standards. I know that word might be triggering some of you, but please trust me. They utilize flexible standards and are always open to improving them. I know that's so hard to hear.
00:23:56
KateLynn Bundy
They are not motivated by personal gain or advantage. Remember Gandhi? Yeah. They will set aside their comfort, their agendas, their matcha lattes for something that is the long range good for everyone involved.
00:24:10
KateLynn Bundy
A good example would be like, you excuse me, a good example would be like a type one would vote on this tax bill that can improve our skill and improve our school systems, right?
00:24:23
KateLynn Bundy
Do ones love paying taxes? Absolutely not. But they'll do what it takes as long as it means the betterment of our school systems ah so children can get a good education. And they will rally those around them to inspire them to do the same in order to affect children.
00:24:40
KateLynn Bundy
change. So remember, healthy ones are more flexible in their positions. So they're able to communicate their view their views on this tax bill to other people in ways that other people are actually able to able to hear and be receptive to.
00:24:56
KateLynn Bundy
While if you're an average to unhealth an unhealthy type one, um they'll just effectively be yelling at a brick wall, but forcing others to hear them while actually not inspiring change or action in those that they're talking at.
00:25:11
KateLynn Bundy
Yes, keyword, at. Healthy ones are not trying to fix anyone else, but they appeal to others by setting a beautiful and extraordinary example and not by preaching up up on their high horses.
00:25:26
KateLynn Bundy
i don't You're going to get to know me. I don't, I love, I daydream about taking people down from their high horses. Like me and us us type ones, let's do it together. um Because healthy ones accept their own humanity and our understanding of the mistakes or errors of others.
00:25:46
KateLynn Bundy
They can be, they can be quite eloquent and effective at conveying the truth and wisdom of their perspective. Like very soft, gentle, and like love it. So healthy ones still really are hard workers and they make effective use of their time, but also know when enough is enough.
00:26:06
KateLynn Bundy
They know how to kick up their feet and then relax and enjoy the vacation or the girl's night, whatever. They know that taking good care of themselves also, not grinding or being a workaholic, but taking care of themselves is extremely important in order for them to be effective in their environment, which is exactly their goal. That's their desire, right?
00:26:27
KateLynn Bundy
All in all, healthy ones care deeply, deeply about being good people and are moved into action by wanting to do something about the problems they see around them. They feel strongly. And in their core, that change is possible and they want to be a part of it.
00:26:44
KateLynn Bundy
Amen. i love that for you guys. um So that concludes the but good stuff. Because you can't, we can't talk about the light without getting into the shadow. so I apologize in advance. I'm just a conveyor of information here.
00:27:03
KateLynn Bundy
um So again, we cannot talk about the light without getting into the shadow. And type ones, you know this already because you've been probably...
00:27:15
KateLynn Bundy
silently editing this episode and and of with a list of improvements as you've been listening. um i'm not I'm not open to seeing those improvements.
00:27:28
KateLynn Bundy
I'm just kidding. But this next part especially, it's important to take this with a grain of salt. no one No one likes hearing about their darker sides, but it's important for change, for good change, just like what we talked about. Don't you want to be like that?
00:27:45
KateLynn Bundy
But just not what the injustices the type ones are experiencing at the office, but what with what's going on inside of you. So this stress, ah unhealthy type ones, they go to type four.
Stress and Unhealthy Behaviors in Type Ones
00:28:01
KateLynn Bundy
in increased stressful or unhealthy states, which we'll be probably going into a deeper dive of, um you know, when a type 1 goes to 7 and to 4.
00:28:12
KateLynn Bundy
Again, there's just so much to get into here. But unhealthy ones, their suppressed anger starts to leak out a little bit. Like, watch out. It's not like yelling in traffic, although, hey, that happens. But it's more like silently reorganizing the pantry while humming aggressively.
00:28:30
KateLynn Bundy
And God forbid anyone gets in your way or everyone knows to stay out of the kitchen. Like, no don't get in mom's way. Like, no. But at their worst, ones become martyrs to the cause. They may adopt a savior complex, resent others for not living up to standards, or slip into secret rule-breaking that feels indulgent or shameful.
00:28:56
KateLynn Bundy
And it's confusing. That internal voice, Wanda, what was she says, she's going, I'm trying so hard to do the right thing. Why doesn't anyone else care this much? That's what they' they're saying. But at unhealthy levels, ones can be critical, resentful, inflexible.
00:29:15
KateLynn Bundy
and even self-righteous. When things feel out of control or imperfect, they clamp down. They micromanage. God. ah Or they fall back into the black and white thinking. It's either right or wrong. There's no in between.
00:29:29
KateLynn Bundy
We've all heard that from someone. You're probably thinking of somebody right now. But they also struggle with repressed anger. Yes, they're in that anger triad with me. But because they want to be seen as good, because anger is bad, right?
00:29:45
KateLynn Bundy
Ones often bottle up their frustration until it comes out sideways through passive aggressive aggression, i'm snapping over the small things, or emotionally withdrawing. It's important to note here with anger.
00:29:59
KateLynn Bundy
Anger in of itself is not a bad thing. It's an important emotion. And the more we know how to, i had to do, I did a big long journey on my anger. And you'll find out why when we get to type eight, but that's a couple weeks away.
00:30:15
KateLynn Bundy
um But anger and of itself is not a bad thing. It's an important emotion to have and to express. And you can do that in a healthy way. And repressing it only like literally makes it worse and it will come out eventually. So I wanted to make that note on anger.
00:30:32
KateLynn Bundy
um and it's important for type nines to know that too. But we're not going to talk about those guys for a while. That was my little side note. But Type 1s really do long to be free of their burdens and obligations, and they'll often find themselves stuck in some daydream or fantasy or maybe wrote a romance or whatever.
00:30:54
KateLynn Bundy
the move to the type 4 is an indication of their growing disenchantment and their alienation. They feel No one understands them or how hard they're working.
00:31:06
KateLynn Bundy
They suddenly can become ah moody, melancholy, of lord and withdrawn. Their discipline and self-control like collapses into stormy feelings of resentment and envy, and they think to themselves, everyone else is having a better life than me.
00:31:25
KateLynn Bundy
Yeah. So those emotional outbursts, moodiness, hostility, and social withdrawal can all be a part of the picture. And God forbid, God forbid they are questioned about this because they will become even more painfully self-conscious and self-controlled because they're Someone's pointing out something bad at them. And that is just the opposite. Like it's conflicting to their main desire, which is to be good, but they're under increased stress.
00:31:54
KateLynn Bundy
But you see how toxic that cycle is. Yeah. We're getting, the dots are connecting. I can feel it. in the deeper unhealthy levels, like really low levels, like super, super bad unhealthy levels, the type one will grow into self-indulgence and a willingness to give them themselves exceptions to their own rules. They've been so controlled, working so hard.
00:32:21
KateLynn Bundy
What's several more drinks, right? I've said that. Or what's a steamy illicit romance in the office? Like, there's no big deal. Although they may justify these actions, they are obviously contradictory to who they are and their egos and what they believe they become the source of even more pressure and more anxiety.
00:32:46
KateLynn Bundy
And as they go deeper into those unhealthy levels, they may unconsciously seek more destructive escapes. They may think it's relieving tension or frustration or that it's maybe even self-care, but it's literally the opposite.
00:33:01
KateLynn Bundy
ah um So yeah, that's that shadow side. Let me know what you guys think about that. We touched on it. We're going to touch on it some more in future episodes. But let's move on to the wings. And um We've talked about a little bit about what the wings are. um no not Hooters. We're not talking about Hooters, although that sounds amazing. You can get that later. but Or actually, you know what? Just Uber Eats It while you're listening.
00:33:27
KateLynn Bundy
You deserve it. But wings on the Enneagram is the numbers that are on either side of your number. You do not jump around simply because you like the qualities of another number. Right?
00:33:43
KateLynn Bundy
And again, because the Enneagram does not put you inside of a box, you can still develop all the amazing qualities of every type. Excuse me. So wings are described as versions of your type that you lean on more in your everyday life.
00:34:00
KateLynn Bundy
If in your personal life, you lean more to one side and your professional life, you lean more to the other side, like totally normal, perfectly normal. We humans adapt to our environment as best as we can.
00:34:14
KateLynn Bundy
And the wings are a really good example of how we do that. So we're just going to touch on it, just baby touch on it, because we'll talk about it again probably. um So the top the wing nine, so one, the type one with a wing of nine is what they like to call the
Exploring Type One Wings
00:34:34
KateLynn Bundy
idealist.
00:34:34
KateLynn Bundy
They're more calm, more reflective, a little bit more chill. And these type ones still want to be good, but lean more toward inner peace and diplomacy. And the wing two, the one wing two is what they call the advocates.
00:34:49
KateLynn Bundy
Okay. the warmer, more people focused and nurturing. They want to do what's right for others and sometimes even taking on that, we talked about that martyr complex. But both wings are beautiful and most ones can access both depending on context, right? You might be a one wing two at work because teamwork.
00:35:09
KateLynn Bundy
And then at home, you're more of a wing nine because you got to be left alone with your crossword puzzle. But um But all right, now it is your turn.
Reflecting on Inner Critic and Relaxation
00:35:20
KateLynn Bundy
Here are a couple. This is not a self-improvement podcast without actually giving you something to do rather than just listen because that's what I like to do.
00:35:30
KateLynn Bundy
got to take action, okay? So here are a few journal prompts or questions to reflect on this week. Please please share them ah to me and the podcast on our socials. You can share it, DM it, or comment.
00:35:46
KateLynn Bundy
um for The handle is at stillyoupodcast. So please, I would love to hear from you. So here are two little tidbits, and we're going to get into something a little bit deeper.
00:35:57
KateLynn Bundy
What's one area of your life where your Wanda... She gets a little loud. Where is that? And then next one is what does, you know, quote, relaxing look like to you? And does it secretly feel wrong?
00:36:13
KateLynn Bundy
You need to learn how to do that. And if you're feeling brave, um take a picture of something delightfully imperfect in your life right now. Your drunk drawer, your dishes, your undone to-do list, whatever. and tag me, please.
00:36:27
KateLynn Bundy
um But here's a couple of practices, not just journaling, if you're not a journaler. I did journaling like seven years straight at one point my life. Like that was dedication.
00:36:39
KateLynn Bundy
um Here are a few more practices to help you develop into the best you possible. That's what we want here. All right. Are you listening? Okay. Realize you are not going to get rid of the parts of yourself that you do not like.
00:36:56
KateLynn Bundy
At best, you can repress them for a while, but this is this is only going to postpone and magnify your problems, just like we talked about. As long as you hold that there's some way that you're, as long as you hold that there's some sort of way that you're supposed to be, you cannot really be with who and what you are right now.
00:37:19
KateLynn Bundy
Try becoming more aware of these parts of yourself, understanding them more intimately instead of trying to change them. You cannot transform yourself None of us can.
00:37:30
KateLynn Bundy
ok ah Stop your self-care improvement projects and just learn to be with yourself. That will be so much more challenging than straining to conform to an ideal idealized notion of what a good person looks like or is like.
00:37:47
KateLynn Bundy
Next one, it's really important to become acquainted with Wanda. You got you got to learn more about her and your super ego, that inner critic, right? Learn to to distinguish it from yourself. Recognize its voice and its effects on you. Pay attention to the ways in which it affects your sense of well-being and your connectedness to your environment, okay?
00:38:11
KateLynn Bundy
And lastly, movement or action and your body is extremely important for everybody, but for type ones to help them process their anger. No, you don't need to go to the rage room or punish yourself by training for an ultra marathon, but go good at massage, like do a good workout, energy work, whatever floats your boat um for you to approach the world with less resistance.
00:38:37
KateLynn Bundy
So For you ones, think about that. Write those down. But your actual challenge of the week, what is one small um imperfect thing that you could do this week just for fun?
00:38:51
KateLynn Bundy
Like have one fun thing. Have a glass of wine while you watch 2020. that's okay. yes that that's okay Ooh, call me because I love that. That sounds good.
Conclusion: Encouraging Self-acceptance
00:39:03
KateLynn Bundy
But anyway, everybody, that is the episode for my beautiful and slightly high-strung ones. Take a deep breath. You do not have to earn your worth.
00:39:16
KateLynn Bundy
The world does not need you to be perfect. It needs you to be whole, okay? You're still learning. You're still growing. And you are still you, okay i know that was so cringe. But thank you so much for listening and supporting.
00:39:30
KateLynn Bundy
Please rate and recommend. I'm creating my own new reality here. You can find me on TikTok. um My TikTok handle is... um per currently escaping my brain, but I am creating one for the podcast as soon as I end this recording.
00:39:47
KateLynn Bundy
But yeah, thank you again for listening and I will see you, talk to you next time for another deep dive into the Enneagram, probably type twos. Until then, everybody go easy on yourself. Seriously, stay you, stay weird.
00:40:03
KateLynn Bundy
Peace out.