Transcript
Speaker: One of the best feelings in life is feeling anchored.
Speaker: When the waves of life come, you stay confident, stable, and secure.
Speaker: So how do we stay connected in a world full of distractions?
Speaker: We think honest conversations can help.
Speaker: I'm Allie.
Speaker: And I'm Lennice.
Speaker: Two friends who just want to chat about how to be our best selves.
Speaker: Thanks for joining us.
Speaker: This is Anchored in Life.
Speaker: All right.
Speaker: This one, I don't know how this is going to go.
Speaker: We're going to talk about navigating one-sided friendships and when to stop reaching out.
Speaker: Just hearing you say that, it sounds harsh.
Speaker: What if you're the one who gets dropped?
Speaker: Well, it happens.
Speaker: It does happen.
Speaker: I've been dropped.
Speaker: It hurts.
Speaker: Okay, me too.
Speaker: I'm not sure if it was conscious on their end because I never followed up, but definitely have been the one.
Speaker: Yeah, it's important to talk about, though, because I think a lot of people hang on to relationships and then also make up stories about them, about what went wrong or what that person thinks about them.
Speaker: And it causes a lot of turmoil inside, like what happened.
Speaker: It happens whether you want it to or not.
Speaker: As you get older, you move, you have kids or whatever happens, and not all your friendships are going to come along.
Speaker: And you hate hearing that when you are really tight with your friends in your 20s.
Speaker: I'm not sure if you had that experience like I did, but I was in a cocoon in college.
Speaker: And it just really was hard to leave all of them.
Speaker: And then guess what?
Speaker: Most of them didn't survive.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Which is normal, but sad.
Speaker: We're going to talk about the importance of recognizing when a friend is no longer reaching out.
Speaker: When should you reassess the relationship or talk to them about it?
Speaker: Let's start with the signs, which I guess are pretty obvious.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, you're always the one initiating the plan.
Speaker: Your friend doesn't seem invested in your life.
Speaker: They don't reciprocate emotional support.
Speaker: It just doesn't feel balanced.
Speaker: And you have to ask yourself, are you being too giving without requesting anything in return?
Speaker: Are you holding on to the friendships?
Speaker: Out of habit, guilt, you know, a dose of self-awareness around your own patterns is important to clarify too, because you don't, the point of a relationship, and that's what a friendship is, is that two people are bringing something to the table.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Are you familiar with, and I don't know if it's just a saying, but in every relationship, there's always going to be one person who gives more.
Speaker: Oh, no, I haven't heard that before.
Speaker: I had someone mention that to me once and I thought, well, that doesn't sound right.
Speaker: That when you said that, I was like, is that really true?
Speaker: Yeah, I'm going to look it up and see if I can find that.
Speaker: I mean, okay, logically, it is true because you can't be completely even.
Speaker: But I think about it more of an ebb and flow than a scale.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You're going to have times where someone's way more supportive because they've got the energy and the other person's going through something and then vice versa.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: The saying is there's always one person who loves more in a relationship.
Speaker: Hmm.
Speaker: That's not a healthy relationship.
Speaker: I don't think so.
Speaker: You have to find the balance and you, and I know some people would say, aha.
Speaker: And that's why there's always going to be one person who is giving more, loving more because finding balance is hard.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And then that's what I would come back and say hard, but not impossible.
Speaker: And it takes work.
Speaker: In the making the decision of either telling the person you feel like this is one-sided or whatever, you are evaluating that relationship and really thinking about how much it means to you.
Speaker: And that can be hard because you might come to the conclusion that this isn't worth fighting for, especially if there's signs that they're not fighting for it.
Speaker: So how can we know?
Speaker: I'm a gut person.
Speaker: I'm a gut feeling person.
Speaker: So a lot of times I can't explain my decisions.
Speaker: Because for some reason, I'm really in tune with my gut.
Speaker: And when I know, I know.
Speaker: And yes, I'll admit sometimes I'm wrong.
Speaker: But I make the decision anyway and then see how it goes.
Speaker: But trying to give practical advice here as to when you know maybe it's not worth fighting for.
Speaker: If you're the one give, give, giving, that is eventually going to really hurt you.
Speaker: And you're going to feel used and whatever, and you might blow up at them one day or something.
Speaker: We'll come to a head and then there'll be a fight or you'll regret saying something that you never intended to say.
Speaker: So before you get to that point, how do we think about it?
Speaker: I think before you get to that point, I think maybe you need to dial it back.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So kind of take away or kind of.
Speaker: Take stock.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And maybe not invest so much of your energy if the other person isn't meeting you halfway.
Speaker: And then see how that other person reacts, maybe, if anything.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So if that person doesn't notice, that could be a red flag.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: You know, if they don't say anything to you about you pulling away.
Speaker: What are you talking about?
Speaker: Oh, you haven't noticed.
Speaker: I haven't texted you.
Speaker: I usually text you every week and you haven't noticed.
Speaker: I mean.
Speaker: Oh, that's sad.
Speaker: Gosh.
Speaker: Because it kind of tells you that they don't need you.
Speaker: They don't need you or they don't think about you.
Speaker: I mean, what else are you supposed to think?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: So that said, I have several questions.
Speaker: friendships and we will go months without talking.
Speaker: And I know with my one friend, it's because he travels a lot for work and when he's working, he's working.
Speaker: And then I know with my other friend, she has a lot of projects too that she's working on, but she also has a lot of, um,
Speaker: I don't want to say a lot of friends, but she has several people that she's really, really close with.
Speaker: And they're closer to her in terms of proximity of where she lives.
Speaker: But when we do make time, and that's what we do, we schedule the time.
Speaker: and we talk, it is like we just spoke to each other the day before.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, there's no awkwardness, there's no sadness or frustration.
Speaker: You haven't called me.
Speaker: You haven't texted me.
Speaker: What's wrong with you?
Speaker: Because that's normal in your relationship.
Speaker: Well, sure.
Speaker: There are certain people that you talk to every day.
Speaker: I talk to my mom every day.
Speaker: Me too.
Speaker: Every day.
Speaker: I see my husband every day.
Speaker: I don't necessarily talk to him every day.
Speaker: But I talk to my mom every day.
Speaker: Now, let me clarify.
Speaker: My job is such to where I don't, you know, I don't see Dylan until the weekends.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Because when I wake up, he's already left for work.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: When I get home, he's sleeping.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: So there's that.
Speaker: Now my mom, she, I don't want to say that she never sleeps because she does, but I talked to her on my way into work and on my way home from work.
Speaker: So there are people you expect to talk to every day.
Speaker: There are certain people that you won't talk to every day, but it doesn't mean that the quality of your relationship isn't there.
Speaker: Because in the instance of your friend, what would be not a good thing is that the time where it's your turn to reach out and schedule the call, she doesn't answer to schedule it.
Speaker: Or she kind of drags her feet for two or three weeks and y'all don't schedule it or whatever.
Speaker: Because I'm a big believer in if something matters to you, you get it done.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: I know that people are busy, but at the end of the day, if they don't reply, they don't reply.
Speaker: Because when I don't reply accidentally, eventually that person pops into my head because I care about them.
Speaker: And then I go and check the text and realize I didn't reply.
Speaker: So, yes, it's delayed, but the reply happened.
Speaker: I think there's something to be said when people, especially over and over again, don't reply.
Speaker: Mm hmm.
Speaker: I don't I don't think you can blame that on your kids or crazy schedule or blame that on your work or whatever.
Speaker: I think you can pin text conversations in your phone now and you can mark them as unread.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Like one of my best friends, I know that she's never going to text me back the second I text her.
Speaker: But I know that that text is going to come the next day or like later that night because I know that she kind of flags it and responds to me when she can.
Speaker: She sees it, but she can't respond.
Speaker: And I just believe that if people care about you and that's a relationship that you guys are going to have that's two-sided and balanced, that –
Speaker: people are going to figure out how to reply to you.
Speaker: And I don't think it's harsh in saying if someone continuously doesn't reply, I don't think there's a ton of care on their end.
Speaker: It sounds really harsh, but I just, it seems like that's the reality that no one wants to think about.
Speaker: And if you're forcing the issue, because you can have someone who,
Speaker: who you're constantly texting, or not even constantly, but that you text.
Speaker: And then they don't text you back right away.
Speaker: And then when they do, it's really short.
Speaker: And then they apologize.
Speaker: Oh, sorry.
Speaker: Then what do you do?
Speaker: Do you say, okay, so this isn't a...
Speaker: quality, authentic friendship here.
Speaker: This is just a surface-y.
Speaker: I think that there are different types of friendships.
Speaker: Yeah, for sure.
Speaker: And I think you need to recognize what type of friendship is this and manage your expectations accordingly.
Speaker: If this isn't one of your core peeps, you know, then don't treat it like it is.
Speaker: And that's okay.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: You can have people that are just your travel buddies.
Speaker: You can have someone that you developed a good relationship with because of a work environment or experience, but now it's just...
Speaker: Growing into something else because you no longer work together.
Speaker: It's okay to say that season has come and gone.
Speaker: It's sad.
Speaker: But it's true.
Speaker: Yeah, I think what we're really talking about here are the ones where you think you're super close.
Speaker: And so you're expecting, your expectations are for them to be a good friend.
Speaker: And then that's not happening.
Speaker: So what's going on?
Speaker: I'm the kind of person, via text most likely and not phone call, but I'm the type of person that will say, hey, what's up with you?
Speaker: Because I want to know if it's me, did I do something that I didn't even notice I did to you?
Speaker: Did I say something?
Speaker: Or is this a you thing where like you're going through stuff and you're pulling away from people that you care about?
Speaker: You know, I just want to know.
Speaker: Some people don't even know the answer to that themselves.
Speaker: I know.
Speaker: That's why I'm laughing.
Speaker: It's hard to have an honest conversation, especially when the friendship is important to you and you're trying to communicate your concern directly without attacking people.
Speaker: If that person does not have a clue.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, you could be someone's North star there though.
Speaker: I mean, that could be the, yeah.
Speaker: If they're open.
Speaker: Now, if you did something and you didn't know that and they haven't told you, then, then there you go.
Speaker: And maybe it's irreparable.
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I think the worst thing is it just ends.
Speaker: You don't know why for a close relationship.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It just ends.
Speaker: They don't touch you back or they're like being weird and you just both don't talk to each other.
Speaker: And there are different reasons why, you know, friendships may change a personal circumstances, a change in priorities, you know, like maybe you just got married and you need to focus on your family life right now or a different shift in dynamics.
Speaker: You are starting a new job.
Speaker: And you want to focus on that career.
Speaker: Now, I will say I have lost friendships because of that.
Speaker: Because of what?
Speaker: Because you said you wanted to focus?
Speaker: Well, I had a girlfriend who was very close with her and I was getting married and she had just started a new job and I was expecting her.
Speaker: to be my maid of honor and asked her and she said, well, I can't do that.
Speaker: I just started this new job.
Speaker: And I said, well, I think they will understand if you tell them that you're going to be gone just for two days because your best friend's getting married.
Speaker: And it turned into this big discussion.
Speaker: And in my mind, I'm thinking this is not that difficult of a decision.
Speaker: You're my friend.
Speaker: you will be at my wedding or you're not my friend.
Speaker: And ultimately that's what I said.
Speaker: Look, you're either in my wedding or you are not in my life.
Speaker: And that's how that ended.
Speaker: Now I probably could have handled that differently, you know, because in retrospect, much like I was entering a new life transition, so was she.
Speaker: All I knew is that if it mattered to you, you would be there.
Speaker: Yes.
Speaker: And you should want to be there.
Speaker: The discussion we should be having is how can we make your trip the shortest possible?
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And the easiest possible.
Speaker: Not, I'm not going.
Speaker: That's, I a thousand percent agree with you.
Speaker: That is so black and white to me.
Speaker: To me.
Speaker: But to that person, it wasn't.
Speaker: And I understand there are,
Speaker: Factors like that that will come up and depending on your level of maturity, depending on your ability to see solutions and the willingness to work together, that'll make the difference.
Speaker: But there are...
Speaker: There are things that come up that will initiate conflict in the relationship.
Speaker: And if you are not able to come together and talk, well, then that's going to create a shift.
Speaker: That's a really good example of what you were hearing.
Speaker: And I don't think it's wrong is that you don't mean as much to me as you think you
Speaker: which is so hard to hear but that's basically in saying no i can't because of this job it was this this friendship isn't as important as you as you thought it was and that's just a line in in the sand and then did you both spoke your separate ways after that i have not spoken to her since i would have done the same thing i don't know dm us on instagram if you had another solution to that but i'm on the lanice's team
Speaker: I would have done the same thing.
Speaker: But there have been so many times when I think of her and I wonder if I could have handled it differently.
Speaker: That said, if you are feeling some kind of way about your friendship, it's okay to say, I've been feeling like I'm putting in more of an effort here and I want to work on balancing things out.
Speaker: And I think that that's okay to say to a friend.
Speaker: You know, some people will think, wow, that's a little deep to have with, you know, that's what relationships are.
Speaker: They should be deep.
Speaker: Why are you spending your time elsewise?
Speaker: I mean, no one would question that if we told them to do that in their marriage.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Tell your husband when you think you're doing more chores than him or whatever the issue is.
Speaker: You would do that.
Speaker: That's so normal.
Speaker: Your marriage is a friendship too.
Speaker: And I think if you're going to have a deep connection with someone, I guess I keep talking about gut because usually when you have these conversations, when they go sideways is when there was something wrong all along with the relationship anyway.
Speaker: When they don't go sideways and you have that conversation, I'm not saying it's going to be easy every time, but if you're that person and they're that person for you and vice versa, the conversation is usually going to be okay because you're both coming at it from the side of I care about you.
Speaker: I don't want to figure this out.
Speaker: But when someone gets defensive or disagrees with you, that's when you can kind of pick apart.
Speaker: Why don't you care that this is a problem for me or why don't you see that this is a problem for me?
Speaker: And then that's where you can kind of unravel whether...
Speaker: We're as close as we say we are.
Speaker: I think we also need to be patient with our friends.
Speaker: They got stuff going on.
Speaker: Is that my phone or yours?
Speaker: That's yours.
Speaker: Do you have a landline?
Speaker: Technically.
Speaker: So it's an internet phone, if that makes sense.
Speaker: Okay, it makes sense, but like who would be calling it?
Speaker: A telemarketer.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: No one has that number.
Speaker: No one.
Speaker: I just feel like a blast from the past.
Speaker: Like, is that a online?
Speaker: Like, is she in a doctor's office or something?
Speaker: What's happening?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: Who edited that part out?
Speaker: Or maybe we won't.
Speaker: Maybe it was my friend calling.
Speaker: Maybe.
Speaker: She's trying to get a hold of you.
Speaker: She doesn't have your cell phone number.
Speaker: Red flag.
Speaker: They don't have your cell number.
Speaker: Ooh, not everyone has my number, nor should they.
Speaker: No, you can't give everyone your number.
Speaker: No.
Speaker: No way.
Speaker: I think we need to be patient because I know in my life, for example, I have friends who I wish and I want to connect with them more.
Speaker: but I also recognize that they have so much that they have going on.
Speaker: Just different challenges that life can bring you, especially when you are welcoming a new child or starting a new family.
Speaker: Having been there myself,
Speaker: I know how much time and effort that takes.
Speaker: So I'm going to give you that grace.
Speaker: It's hard for me because I want to still do all the things, but you have to understand, you know, if you are a good friend, that you can just be a friend to them in a different way while they're going through their changes.
Speaker: And I know we've been talking a lot about the negative effects of
Speaker: an unbalanced friendship, but don't shut down completely because, and this is where that conversation comes into play, that person might be making an effort in ways that you're overlooking.
Speaker: So check to make sure first, before you write them off,
Speaker: Basically, the whole point of this conversation is to encourage you to have a conversation instead of making assumptions.
Speaker: I've been in my younger age.
Speaker: I have definitely been the one who just made assumptions.
Speaker: And then I made that story up in my head.
Speaker: And now that story is true about you.
Speaker: And now you hate me.
Speaker: And so every text I read, everything you say, I've got this lens on, right?
Speaker: That's like, you don't like me.
Speaker: And I made it up.
Speaker: And so when you have an actual conversation and the person's talking to you, no, I said this because this, or right when you texted me is when I found out this.
Speaker: Oh, okay.
Speaker: So you don't hate me.
Speaker: You know, and how, how much time went by with you thinking that?
Speaker: So I guess when you have that feeling of, hmm, and again, gut, I feel like I just know.
Speaker: Like, well, something's like just a little off here.
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: Whether it's the relationship where you talk once every four months or if it's the relationship where you talk every week.
Speaker: You know, like sometimes my one of my good friends who lives in Philly, she's never she was my college roommate.
Speaker: And then after that, she's flown to all these places and lived all these places.
Speaker: I'm never close to her.
Speaker: But when she doesn't answer my text, we have the kind of relationship where I just like send a waving emoji.
Speaker: And, you know, because I know she's got like, she probably just saw it at her CrossFit class and like didn't answer or whatever.
Speaker: If I do that and then she doesn't respond again, I would think, okay, what is going on with her?
Speaker: You know?
Speaker: And so you just kind of know like, oh, this isn't normal for her or what she responded isn't normal.
Speaker: Like something's up.
Speaker: And you would hope that they would see that in you.
Speaker: And one of the relationships that I had to end, unfortunately, was because I
Speaker: I felt like the person was never being intuitive about what I needed.
Speaker: And it's the same thing in a marriage.
Speaker: You want them to know you well enough to know that something's wrong.
Speaker: And I think that people can do that without reading your mind.
Speaker: I think that there's things that clues you're giving to people that just show I'm not okay.
Speaker: Things are not okay.
Speaker: And I might be a little more on the harsher side of the spectrum, but I do expect people who are around me or who talk to me a lot to know when something's wrong and then to ask me and call it out.
Speaker: And I felt like this person was never doing that.
Speaker: And then I came to the conclusion that it's because she doesn't know me very well.
Speaker: And then when I came to that conclusion, it was like, oh, because she never, in my opinion at the time, she doesn't really listen when I'm talking.
Speaker: So she just literally does not know the information about me because it's not being absorbed.
Speaker: And we're not really friends anymore.
Speaker: It just took me thinking about it and then expressing that and...
Speaker: Us having the conversation and realizing on my end, it was one sided and she was giving what she wanted to give.
Speaker: And that was that.
Speaker: There was this book called He's Just Not That Into You.
Speaker: Do you remember that?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So it focuses on romantic relationships and gives some insights that you can apply in my mind.
Speaker: to navigating one-sided friendships too.
Speaker: And what really stood out to me was behavior.
Speaker: Behavior shows truth over words.
Speaker: That's why I just, I don't put a lot of stock into what you say.
Speaker: I want to see what you do.
Speaker: Your actions are far more revealing
Speaker: than what your words convey.
Speaker: And if a person's behavior demonstrates a lack of effort, attentiveness, what you were talking about with listening or care over an extended period of time, well, I can basically surmise that you don't value the friendship.
Speaker: And then I have to have the self-respect of being able to walk away
Speaker: from imbalanced relationship.
Speaker: Self-respect.
Speaker: I love that you just said that.
Speaker: You deserve to have good friendships and not to be taken advantage of.
Speaker: And when I talk to people who are younger than me or I'm in a mentor-mentee situation, especially in romantic relationships, when I feel like this person is doing everything for someone and that other person is not giving anything back, that makes me so frustrated.
Speaker: Because it's so detrimental to someone's confidence, self-esteem, and it's just showing a lack of respect for themselves.
Speaker: And obviously that person doesn't respect the other person who...
Speaker: letting them give all of their heart and then they're not giving anything back.
Speaker: We have to know that there are other friendships out there for us that we could be spending more time on and more time with those people.
Speaker: We can't be friends with everyone.
Speaker: You can't be deep friends with everyone.
Speaker: I know that you and I both have people we can think of who have like 25 friends.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: How many of them are deep?
Speaker: I mean, it can't be more than 10.
Speaker: I would say five is probably more realistic, but it doesn't matter about the number.
Speaker: It's just these relationships take time.
Speaker: And I am in the camp of it's worth it to walk away from one or two in order to have more time with others that you know are fulfilling.
Speaker: And they do respect you and they do help you because you have to surround yourself with people like that.
Speaker: That's the only way they're going to last.
Speaker: And that's the only way they're going to be helpful.
Speaker: Friendship should be reciprocal.
Speaker: And you just, you can't force someone to invest equally.
Speaker: So you have to have the self-worth to disengage if you need to, so that you're investing your energy elsewhere.
Speaker: All the time and energy that you are pouring into a one-sided relationship is time wasted.
Speaker: And we've talked about it before.
Speaker: Time is the ultimate currency.
Speaker: You spend it and you're not getting it back.
Speaker: I know there's some people pleasers out there who really care about others and, oh, she needs me.
Speaker: It's one thing to help someone through a time, through a season, through a divorce, through a breakup.
Speaker: That person can't give anything.
Speaker: I totally understand that.
Speaker: I've been that person before.
Speaker: I'm talking about you've given it time.
Speaker: You've given it years or whatever makes sense.
Speaker: Assess your relationships that way because like we said in the beginning, they do ebb and flow.
Speaker: It's never like you're evenly giving at the same time.
Speaker: It's just like in a marriage.
Speaker: You've got someone who might be down and out for a while and the other person's kind of picking up their slack and then it flips.
Speaker: But over time, being the giver, give, give, give.
Speaker: You have to be filled up.
Speaker: And if they're not a source of you being filled up,
Speaker: Why is that?
Speaker: And are you comfortable telling them that?
Speaker: And if you do, how do they react?
Speaker: Or do you not even get a chance to tell them that?
Speaker: And then like you just said, pull away and give less energy to it.
Speaker: I think this conversation is predominantly for women.
Speaker: I don't want to, you know, stereotype or anything, but I don't really see my husband assessing his relationships much.
Speaker: I basically have to force him to keep up with his friends so that I know what's going on with them.
Speaker: But there's certainly a different dynamic between men's friendships and women's friendships.
Speaker: But you know what's funny?
Speaker: Men are more likely to report being lonely compared to women because they don't have close friends or not as many compared to women.
Speaker: And the numbers on that are staggering.
Speaker: And I use my husband as an example, who's had the same friends since he was a kindergartner.
Speaker: They just work.
Speaker: You know, the core of four.
Speaker: I was like, wow, you got to branch out.
Speaker: And recently he did that.
Speaker: And I did not know who this man was.
Speaker: He said, yeah, I'm going to go on a road trip with some guys.
Speaker: You're going to go to a concert.
Speaker: I said, what?
Speaker: You didn't even like concerts.
Speaker: What are you doing?
Speaker: And then he said it was a rock concert.
Speaker: My jaw about hit the floor.
Speaker: Dylan likes hip hop, Christian rap, you know, he does not listen to rock.
Speaker: And so I was like, okay, well, good for you.
Speaker: Getting new friends.
Speaker: Getting out there.
Speaker: I wanted to just put that out there.
Speaker: I think that men don't evaluate their friendships as frequently because first of all, I just think the relationships that guys have are different.
Speaker: They're,
Speaker: And I don't know how to say it without seeming as though I'm minimizing it.
Speaker: But I just think that the dynamics of the relationships are different.
Speaker: And I don't think that they have that many.
Speaker: So it's easier for them not to dig into it and overthink it.
Speaker: And also, I think it's just a difference between being a man and a woman.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: And they can compartmentalize, which is helpful in a friendship.
Speaker: It can be.
Speaker: And if you're me, it cannot be because I will put you in a box really quickly.
Speaker: And once you're there, that's it.
Speaker: Oh, good luck getting out of the box.
Speaker: Well, I'm just not going to give you an opportunity to disappoint me more than once.
Speaker: Oh, yeah.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: We've talked about forgiveness before.
Speaker: This is just to encourage everyone that don't underestimate the power of your friendships.
Speaker: And it is important to evaluate them every now and then.
Speaker: And if you've got a gut feeling, if you feel like something's off, it's worth it to just talk to them.
Speaker: And it might be sad for a season that you don't have them anymore, but you will find other friends or you'll get closer to the ones you already have.
Speaker: Yeah, it's an opportunity to expand your social circle.
Speaker: And really quickly, as we're wrapping up here, I want to recommend some books that I'm going to start reading on this topic today.
Speaker: Freestanding Friendships by Beverly Tatum or Frentimacy by Shasta Nelson.
Speaker: These are books that navigate the topic of friendships, building new ones and knowing when it's time to bow out of a one-sided relationship.
Speaker: Nice.
Speaker: I like the name of that second book.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: That's cool.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I mean, people are writing books about it, so it must be important.
Speaker: We're talking about it on this podcast.
Speaker: So it must be important.
Speaker: Exactly.
Speaker: Thanks everyone for listening.
Speaker: Remember we now have an Instagram at anchored in life podcast.
Speaker: So follow us and talk to us there.
Speaker: We'll see you next time.
