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I Hate Author Readings (And How to Fix Them)
1.3k Plays1 year ago
Author readings ... they mostly suck.
Support: Patreon.com/cnfpod
Newsletter: Rage Against the Algorithm
Social: @CNFPod or @creativenonfictionpodcast
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Transcript
Introduction and Sponsor
00:00:01
Speaker
This episode of the Creative Nonfiction Podcast is brought to you by the word plaudit, an enthusiastic expression of approval. Head over to Apple Podcasts and leave a plaudit for the podcast Hacey and efforts at C&F Pod.
00:00:21
Speaker
creative non-fiction podcast, a show where I speak to badass people about telling true stories, usually. I'm Brendan O'Mara, how's it going?
Podcast and Newsletter Updates
00:00:29
Speaker
Today's guest is no guest because the podcast is dead. JK, JK, JK. What with book research and writing somewhat, and my inability to read a book in less than two weeks these days, I simply don't have a guest in the hopper. Maybe next week one can hope.
00:00:46
Speaker
So I have a short essay that might surprise you about author readings.
00:00:53
Speaker
I fucking hate them. I hate participating in them. I hate attending them. But first, while I have your attention, I will be moving my newsletter from Substack to Beehive, a more traditional newsletter delivery service. I don't trust Substack long term. It's a social network, in case you haven't figured that out already. And you know what happens to social networks. They get corrupted. So I deleted my rage against the algorithm newsletter. On that platform, it is solely on Beehive now.
00:01:20
Speaker
So you should be heading over to brendanamara.com for show notes, blog posts, and to sign up for the Rage Against the Algorithm newsletter. Always first of the month. No spam. Still can't beat it.
00:01:33
Speaker
And if you dig the show, remember, we'll always take plaudits on Apple Podcasts, so the way we're seeing effort might say, shit, I'll give that a shot. And why
Promotion and Personal Views
00:01:42
Speaker
not? Why not give Athletic Brewing a shout out? My favorite non-alcoholic beer out there, not a paid plug. I'm a brand ambassador, as some of you know. I wanna celebrate this amazing product, and if you head to athleticbrewing.com, use the promo code BRENDANO20 at checkout, you get a nice little discount on your first order. I have a little referral link on my website as well.
00:02:03
Speaker
So you can, so whatever, I get credit for it. Okay, I want credit. I want credit where credit is due. I don't get any money. And they're not an official sponsor of the podcast. I just get points for swag and non-alcoholic beer. Give it a shot. Okay, maybe it's my ADHD, but when it comes to author readings, I can't focus. I can't stay engaged no matter how hard I try.
00:02:28
Speaker
Are there any number of reasons why they suck? Let's dispense with, you know, perhaps my own shortcomings as an audience member, someone with a pathological inability to not drift off or fall asleep while in an audience drifting off is the big one. Falling asleep, close second, but it's usually my mind starts going somewhere else, but in my defense, few writers are skilled.
00:02:51
Speaker
in reading you're a writer you work in the quiet hours you prefer quiet and now you're being asked to turn it on whose idea was this anyway fuck that guy but okay set aside how bad readings are for the moment you must attend them because okay here's the cynicism you want people to attend yours
00:03:11
Speaker
and you're not an asshole, are you? We work hard not to be assholes in this business. Well, some of us do, others
Critique of Author Readings
00:03:17
Speaker
don't. First, the author is standing at a lectern by themselves, usually reading to an audience if you're lucky, and this strikes me way too much like you're being lectured, like you're in school being talked at. It's not participatory, and by and large, it's very boring.
00:03:37
Speaker
Honestly, I want to read the book in the voice that emerges in my own head. Your voice ruins that for me. You see, you took something from me, you asshole. I reached out to Allison K. Williams, not an asshole, author of seven drafts, self-edit like a pro from blank page to book. She's been on the show a couple times, no bigs, and a great blog post for Brevity, The Seven Deadly Sins of Public Readings, Lincoln's show notes, an excellent reader and surprise, a performer,
00:04:07
Speaker
And she has some tips from authors. Here's a real simple one. Real simple one, she said. And I quote, try not to read from your laptop. On most podiums, the lid blocks your upper body. And it's an old theater trick that when the audience can see your chest, they feel more emotionally connected to you. End quote. And okay, now all the perverts in the room get out. You know what Allison means. The full frontal squares to the crowd and it's vulnerable.
00:04:36
Speaker
This isn't about text, this is something more.
Improving Author Events
00:04:39
Speaker
Second, a reading is a performance. And I italicized that word, couldn't you tell? And so many authors I've seen read from their work, they read it like it's in a eulogy. And sure, some pieces are somber and you want to reflect that tone, maybe, but you still need to have some ups and downs and swirls in your vocal cadence.
00:05:02
Speaker
Again, Allison, she asks you to put some fervor into your voice, like you're reading something powerful. She says, acting like it's important makes it sound important, and it's not showmanship for showmanship's sake. It has to have purpose.
00:05:18
Speaker
But also, don't bore me. And I've been to enough of these readings where I assume you're going to bore me, so you've already got a pretty high bar to clear before the proprietor reads a list of your accomplishments she printed out from your website's about page. I know what I'm talking about. The last reading I enjoyed, frankly, it might be the last one I attended.
00:05:41
Speaker
And this has nothing to do with COVID. Even if there was no COVID, I probably likely would not have attended any readings. It was AWP in Portland, Oregon. And there was Hanifa Duraki and Elena Pasarello. They read from their work. And it was electric. You know, why? Well, Elena's voice is strong and she captivates the audience with her energy. There's no laptop in front of her. She looked like she was going to pop out of her own skin and for a moment she might have.
00:06:09
Speaker
Alina's a friend, but I'm not biased. I looked around the room and they were howling like wolves. Hanif, likewise, is more subdued that the instrumentality of his voice is singular. It lands on the air in a way that makes you lean in so you can fully take in his message.
00:06:27
Speaker
And sure, as writers, we should read our work aloud to ourselves in the privacy of our own home office. But honestly, these words are meant to be read rather than spoken, and sometimes the prose doesn't lend itself to the vocal performance. You want to de-syllabize or de-syllabize whatever.
00:06:46
Speaker
your words. I'm talking about taking some syllables away. You want to refrain from saying made up words like desalabize at the lectern without your laptop in front of you. Frankly, not every author is comfortable reading in front of a group of people, so why force it?
00:07:04
Speaker
Why do you suppose that certain audiobooks and certainly certain essays on This American Life are often read by actors? Unless you're, okay, this guy's voice, this guy's last name, I can have to say it really slow. Okay, unless you're Mike Birbiglia or David Sedaris, Ira Glass will likely hire an actor. They're performers and they make their voices the vector. Man, you've laid out a bunch of problems, B.O., and I'm wondering,
00:07:33
Speaker
What are you gonna do about it? Are you just gonna sit there in your little studio speaking into your Heil PR 40 and not tell me how to do better? Maybe you're the asshole and you wouldn't be wrong, man. Okay, so you're promoting a book and you must do events. And maybe you have the backing of a publisher who's setting up an event or several. Or maybe you sprung for a good publicist and now you're in every major city and you gotta make the round. Your name is up.
00:08:03
Speaker
on the marquee at Powell's and you're starting to panic. This might be a matter of taste, but my favorite events are when authors don't read from their work at all. I like a cool presentation, maybe with some cool visuals. Go to an Austin Kleon reading and this is what you get.
00:08:20
Speaker
Hiss are fun and engaging. I don't fall asleep. That's how I know they're engaging. Plenty of Q&A is great, assuming the audience doesn't get bashful and doesn't ask, and just doesn't ask anything. And then they look around the room like, I hope someone asks a question, but it sure as fuck isn't gonna be me. And then one brave soul does it, that leads to two. And now, now we're getting our time's worth here. And if not, our money's worth, because I hope you bought the book. Why else are you there?
00:08:48
Speaker
I suppose this can be circumvented by passing around an index card for people who would rather have their question read and not have to speak it and perform it in front of a crowd and feel judged like you're in the pool at a press conference.
00:09:04
Speaker
been there, hate that. Also, few people know how to ask a question and get out of the way. There's a tendency among even professional interviewers to answer the question for the guest in an effort not to sound stupid. Don't over explain the question. Ask the question, get out. Have you noticed that I'm unafraid to sound stupid? That might be a product of killing too many brain cells with 7% ABV IPAs. Maybe you wouldn't be wrong.
00:09:31
Speaker
Anything that gets the audience involved is a bonus. Anything that makes them think that you, the author, are a charming personality and that they genuinely
00:09:41
Speaker
feel like they could have an espresso with you or a sunflower butter based ice cream cone. Personality and relatability will sell books better than reading from the work.
Enhancing Author Performances
00:09:51
Speaker
You know, I guess what's in vogue these days are the in conversation with conversations and you see the author put their little headshot in one corner of the Instagram thing and then the other person who recently had a book out also puts their headshot in the other corner.
00:10:06
Speaker
And it basically, it makes for a real life podcast. And these can be tricky because there's no edit button. And if the interviewer is not careful, it can sound like a bro sesh that everyone else is lucky to be part of. Can you hear the scare quotes I put around lucky without saying quote unquote, that's called the wit man sidebar. The first 20 minutes of most dude hosted podcasts can and likely should be edited out. You know who you are.
00:10:36
Speaker
Another thing, so okay, probably can 100% avoid reading. It's kind of baked into it, whatever. So maybe it'd be a good investment to hire a vocal coach, or even better, an acting coach. Your book is a script, in a sense. You're the actor at the table reading. Only you have to read the entire script and be all the characters and the voiceover and the scene setter. So please, inflect, make a little eye contact, command the room,
00:11:05
Speaker
This isn't to say you should be something you're not, but I've seen people who are lovely conversationalists, who get up to the lectern and suddenly drone. They're like a sad sunflower all droopy and hunched over, petals falling out. The beauty is there, it just needs...
00:11:24
Speaker
Help. George Saunders is a great reader. Neil Gaiman. Gaiman? I'm gonna say Gaiman. Neil Gaiman. Susan Orlean. Isabel Wilkerson. The late Philip Girard.
00:11:37
Speaker
They are arresting vocalists and performers of their work. I had a conversation with a poet at a reading who categorically hates poet voice. You've heard poet voice before, don't lie. The voice that floats like a soap bubble on the wind, eyes cast somewhere to the back of the room, speaking to you as you might a child at bedtime.
00:12:02
Speaker
and hey, teach their own. If that's your gin, then you do you. Attend readings of this nature. Soak it up. I'm not being critical if these people are making fun, though it sounds like I am. I'm pointing out my taste and reasons as to why I think readings are dull. Again, as writers, we're not trained performers. And a reading is, make no mistake, a performance. Also, if you're going to read, keep to like 10 minutes tops. Ideally five. I think five's good.
00:12:29
Speaker
Leave the audience wanting more. Leave the audience wanting. I should say I'm a shitty reader. During readings of my first book, before this podcast broke the internet, I was a dull reader, you might say. Probably read too fast, probably read too long. At least I think I was, but no, I was definitely, that was definitely bad. I read at a horse show in the middle of the woods in Old Forge, New York between events.
00:12:56
Speaker
I've read at MFA programs, I've read at historical societies to four people sitting across the table from me. I've read at bookstores and breweries and let me tell you something. And let me issue a formal apology to everyone. I always left room for plenty of Q&A, but I will henceforth leave more. And if I ever finish this book I'm working on now and don't have
00:13:17
Speaker
My contract nulled and voided, and I have to pay back my advance. Still a huge possibility, don't tell my wife. I will refrain from reading if I can. Maybe I'll turn my readings, if you want to call them that, into a talk cult so you want to write a biography, or so you've ruined your life. This concludes the presentation. Any questions? Stay wild, Cian Evers, and if you can't do, interview. See ya.
00:14:07
Speaker
you