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Episode Twelve: Who is Failing Who? When Parents Need Help
322 Plays7 months ago
Recent headlines have been devastatingly reporting children dying at the hands of their caregivers.
Cases like Jailyn Candelario and Jalayah Eason paint pictures of distressed caregivers and gruesome deaths. Resources like the Parent Stress Line, 800-632-8188, and the National Parent Helpline, 855-427-2736 are unknown to many, and those in despair might be worried about their kids being taken away if they admit to struggling financially or mentally.
Prestina Yarrington, The Growth & Development Coach, discusses family preservation programs and ways to get help.
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Transcript
Introduction and Disclaimers
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Welcome to the Guardians of Hope podcast where we bring together parents, nonprofits, legal, and medical experts dedicated to positively impacting children's lives. Before we begin, this content should not be used as legal or medical advice.
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The purpose of this podcast is to inform and unite. So please seek advice from your attorney or your doctor to address your specific needs. The thoughts and opinions of my guests are not necessarily my own. This is a platform for sharing.
Case Study: Crystal Candelario's Sentencing
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A mother in Ohio, Crystal Candelario, was recently sentenced to life in prison for the death of her toddler, whom she left alone for more than a week while she went on vacation.
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When asked in court how she could do this, she blamed mental problems for the decision to abandon her daughter. It was reported that Candelario was hospitalized for mental issues and released to care for her children just a couple of months before abandoning her daughter, Jalen.
Failures of Support Systems
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When this happens and it's known the primary caregiver may not be a fit, whether it's temporary or permanent, why isn't help provided? Who's failing who here? Here to discuss this is Prestina Yerington, Growth and Development Coach. Prestina, thank you so much for joining me today. Hi, Cynthia. Thank you so much. I am so happy to be here.
Guest Introduction: Prestina Yerington
00:01:31
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Yes, I am Prestona, the growth and development coach where I help individuals create success journeys in all areas of life. So my background in child advocacy really began with Children's Protective Services in Colorado. I worked for a family preservation program. The family or the program itself was to preserve families. It was
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a program within the CPS organization, and the components included parenting education, group therapy, and child advocacy.
Family Preservation Programs Overview
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The goal of the program basically was to restore the family, if at all possible, and try to avoid having to relinquish the parents parental rights. It was like a last stop program, meaning these families had already been involved with CPS for quite a while.
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And so this is like the judge's opportunity to say, okay, you get one more chance and you have to complete this program successfully in order to be able to retain the parental rights for your children.
Mental Health Challenges in Caregiving
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I've also been involved with the Child Advocates of Houston, working as a child advocate there volunteering to support the children's best interests in court order proceedings. So yeah, that's a little bit about my involvement in advocacy.
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Thank you. So let's talk about what happens in a case, like I mentioned earlier, when a primary caregiver is hospitalized or maybe suffers from addiction. Is there a window of time for the child to be back in their care? So this is tricky. If a parent is hospitalized for mental health issues or really any issue at all and the parent is the primary caregiver,
00:03:28
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You won't really see CPS get involved unless there has been evidence that the children are at risk. So if CPS hasn't been notified or if there aren't any signs of risks to the children based on the parent's mental illness, then you really won't see them getting involved. If they do get involved because there are signs, then there's things like temporary court orders that
00:03:56
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allow family members or friends to be the guardians of the parent until, I mean, I'm sorry, to be the guardians of the children until the parent is ready to kind of regain that role. But you'll see also them doing an assessment to make sure the parents have the ability to be able to take on that role. But mostly what you'll see is them really preserving the rights of the parents to keep their children
00:04:23
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even as they're going through their trials and their tribulations. But what happens when there is a situation when the children are at risk?
Assessment and Intervention Needs
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So going back to Crystal, this case highlights and has brought awareness to several concerns. One, should there be a deeper assessment or evaluation of individuals who've shown signs of distress
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And really, are they responsible enough to be able to care for their children right now? She stated in court that she was under emotional stress from the fathers, I think the father of the children, and she also admitted that she felt like she wanted to cause self-harm. Often stressful situations cause you to make impulsive
00:05:16
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decisions and can end up detrimental just like this one. One of the major concerns I've always had as I've been involved and exposed to these types of cases is that typically authorities or entities are not involved until the children already show signs of abuse and neglect.
Fostering Empathy and Reducing Stigma
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Yeah we all know to report them you know if like schools and doctor's offices if they see things
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But there's such a stigma around parents who are struggling mentally that oftentimes they don't come forward. I think we need to do a better job at fostering a culture of empathy and intervention when it comes to things like this.
Prevention and Preservation Services
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What prevention or preservation services are available for children and families in crisis?
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You know, for individuals going through things of this nature, I would encourage them to seek out support from local communities. Starting with your pediatrician, most people don't realize that pediatricians are equipped with resources that they can refer you out to for managing stress and juggling the responsibilities of being a parent. The other way is to try to build a supportive network. Even if you're not around family or friends, find local organizations
00:06:38
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that can become a part of the support network that you lean into. Studies show that parents with strong societal connections experience lower levels of stress and depression. So it's really important to kind of connect in those areas.
Parental Support Hotlines
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There's a couple of hotlines that I'd like to refer out. One is parents helping parents and the other one is national parent, the national parent helpline. So the parents helping parents line is kind of like a virtual
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group where parents kind of get in there and talk about things that they're dealing with on a daily basis, whether it's, you know, school, dealing with school issues with the kids or just regular, you know, society kind of, you know, how do I
00:07:24
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financially support my kids, kind of athletic adventures, you know, adventures if there's a need for that, kind of talking about those types of things and really supporting each other. And then the other one is the National Parent Hotline, which is an anonymous hotline that you can kind of call into when you feel like you're on the brink of not knowing what to do. I think those are important call outs to make notice.
Community Support and Self-Care Suggestions
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But other ways that friends and family can support
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parents in general or just each other is offer some offer emotional support. Listen and offer reassurance. Provide practical support like helping with housework, even taking over and watching the kids for a weekend or two. But remembering to respect their boundaries. That's really important. Try not to pry too much or dig into what actually is going on, but just be there and support them and also
00:08:20
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You know, last but definitely, definitely not least, and one of the things that I really hone in on is encouraging self care. We really want to help parents prioritize their own needs, encourage them to take breaks, get sleep and engage in activities that they enjoy.
00:08:39
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Okay. This has been very helpful, Pristina. Thank you
Conclusion and Resources
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so much. And to learn more about Pristina's work, go to PristinaYerrington.com and I will link this in the description of our podcast. Thanks so much. Thank you.