Become a Creator today!Start creating today - Share your story with the world!
Start for free
00:00:00
00:00:01
Day in the Life with Sweating at Nap Time's Mel
172 Plays1 year ago
We are so thrilled to have one of our favorite content creators joining us for today's episode. Mel is the creator behind Sweating at Nap Time. She is a mom of two, an HR girlie who works full time from home, a fitness instructor, and somehow also has time to keep up with social media. After Jordan is done fan-girling, we dive into all of the things from the importance of flexibility in parenthood, fitting in time to sweat daily, sleep struggles in those newborn days, transitioning back to work from maternity leave, and how she decided to start Sweating at Nap Time (seriously, one of my first follows as a new mom and still a favorite to this day!!). Listen along and then go follow Sweating at Nap Time on Instagram and TikTok!
Recommended
Transcript
Introduction and Balancing Acts
00:00:14
Speaker
All right, welcome back to Best Mom Ever. Today, I'm so excited. We have somebody that I have been looking up to for a long time. um This is Mel from Sweating at k Nap Time, which you may have seen or follow already on Instagram and TikTok. I personally am a big fan of following you for a long time, so I'm so excited to have you here today, Mel.
00:00:36
Speaker
Oh, well, thank you for having me. Yeah. So I was just telling you this, but right before I went back to work from maternity leave, I was kind of panicking because it had never occurred to me how I was actually going to balance a full time job that I had done before having a baby and then all of a sudden having to add in this baby to it as well. I could not comprehend how I was going to do that.
00:00:59
Speaker
And so I literally just got on TikTok and like it was probably like four in the morning when I was like feeding my son. Of course, yeah. like day in the life working mom routine. Because I needed like i needed the detail, hour by hour breakdown of how women do this. And yours was one of the first ones that popped up. You're a TikTok. And I saw it was sweating a nap time. And you were you know we're talking about how you and your husband like both make time to work out. You both work full time. And that's a priority for both of you while also being present for your kids. And I was like, oh, this is
00:01:34
Speaker
This is the girl we So I've been following you since probably like October 2022 and have always been oh Wow You and your husband both like find time for yourselves and also your careers and your kids So I'm really excited to have you on to talk to us today.
Starting on TikTok and Childcare Strategies
00:01:52
Speaker
Yeah. Well, it's chaos Yeah yeah as my child is yeah i re lunch yeah yeah I want to get started by you telling us a little bit about your family dynamic and how you guys kind of You have two children, right? Mm-hmm. Yes. Yeah, I have two kids two kids on three and five Yeah, five and when your husband both work full-time as I said, yes So that war time and you do the content creation
00:02:28
Speaker
Oh, yeah. Well, that part is like, it's funny, because when I started, so you know, I've been on TikTok for a very long time, because I breastfed both my kids, but my youngest, I was on TikTok with my oldest than I was with my youngest. Like, you know, you're like up.
00:02:43
Speaker
all night, last board. You can't fall asleep while you're nursing. So I'm like, something's going to keep me awake. And when my first was the bachelorette, and then my second, it was tiktok. And I just enjoyed it so much that I was like, and I'm not a creative person traditionally, like I don't like draw or paint or like, or write, I don't do any of that kind of stuff. But I felt like this became a creative outlet for me. And I didn't see a lot of working moms hosting.
00:03:12
Speaker
Because we're like drowning. let take how and we um And the only way I make it work is by posting what I'm doing. If I had to like go and you know I love um I love pop culture ah creators that go over like here's what's happening and this or deep dives and they have these like incredible intricate videos with the pictures and the clips and I just if that was my thing I would have given up a long time ago.
00:03:40
Speaker
Yeah. Because it's so time consuming. But yeah, the only way I make it work is by like vlogging and posting what I'm doing already. And then it's like very manageable. Yeah, I i think that's right. It kind of has to fold into your and life already if you're going to do it. Yes. Otherwise it's it's not, we we already have so much going on. Like to add another thing onto your plate is it's crazy.
00:04:04
Speaker
um so Okay, so two kids, you and your husband both
Challenges of Work and Motherhood
00:04:08
Speaker
work full time. So how how do you guys manage, like I know you talk about this a lot on on your social media, but how do you guys manage kind of both both prioritizing your careers and also childcare? Do you guys have childcare outside the home or do you the kids or the kids in school now or how do you guys balance work? and throughout the day. Yeah. Yeah. So we have full-time childcare for both our kids, um which I could not. I see some moms that like, I work from home full-time. I see some that work from home and don't have childcare and I would just implode. I've done it when it's like, you know, babysitter's sick or whatever, um school's closed.
00:04:53
Speaker
But we have full-time care on a regular basis, which is amazing. And I love like all our babysitters and schools and teachers. like They're all an extension of our village, and I could not do what I do without them. They are the most important people in my life, honestly, like outside of my kids and my husband, and it's them.
00:05:15
Speaker
um And I think it's just like, it's really, ah I feel like it's a balance of like, yes, you have to be organized and planned, but I also think you have to be incredibly flexible. And I think that's the piece that maybe it's hard to highlight or tell an expectant mother or someone thinking about motherhood, like, yes, you need a plan, you need to be organized, but like, be cool, because those plans aren't gonna If a day goes according to plan in terms of childcare and everyone being where they need to be and and all that stuff, that's a miracle. Most of the time it's like, this is running late, this happened. but like Things just happen and you have to be fine with it. And I think Sean and I, obviously, our oldest is you know approaching six. So as the years go by, it gets easier um just because you get used to it. like There's nothing as shocking as that first year of motherhood where you're like, what is going on?
00:06:12
Speaker
But just being fine with, hey, I'll get the workout in when I can, as opposed to if I don't work out at 5 p.m., I'll lose my mind. It's like, hey, when are you planning on doing it? I could squeeze it in here. I could squeeze it in later. I have to go to the store. I have a meeting at this time. Just being very like high communication and then just being cool with whatever comes your way. Yeah, I think you guys seem very good at that. I think the communication you're right is such a good and It's a piece of advice because, but what I like about you guys is it's it's a priority for both of you, right? And you both know that that is like taking that time away from the kids to kind of do whatever it is you need to do, work out, whatever. It makes you better parents when you come back. 100%. Better people, everything. Yeah. i mean knows Yeah. And like days I don't get to move, I feel a difference in myself.
00:07:09
Speaker
on And it's not like, you know, I play college sports and, and did all of that. So like movements been a big part of my life. Um, and I think you have to accept that movement, three children is going to look different posts and maybe a two hour, like let's go for a walk and then take a class and then walk back and then like, do some like those like that is probably not going to be your norm, but like a 20 minute run on the treadmill can feel amazing or a 20 minute walk or a quick
00:07:41
Speaker
cycle or just like throwing some weights around for 15 minutes. Like it's perfect. It feels good. It accomplishes what you need and then you can move on with your day. Yeah, I totally agree. And I want to touch back on something you said too, which it's like being flexible with being a new mom. I think you Maybe
From Structure to Resilience in Motherhood
00:08:01
Speaker
this is an assumption on my part, but I'm a very type A person. You seem like somebody who's pretty structured, pretty type A. like h and so Before I had my son, I was definitely very even more so type A, very much a perfectionist. like I had my day planned out and that the day was going to go like that. If it didn't, I could not pivot. I could not handle when a day did not go according to the plan I had in my head and on my schedule.
00:08:28
Speaker
and did you find that like, well, you did because we were just talking about it, like motherhood, you really have to learn to kind of go with the flow and if it doesn't work out maybe tomorrow. Yeah, like it's like a really weird mix of like kids need structure or at least my kids need structure. yeah And um you want to be like you're the boss and you want to like have a structured like, hey, this is when we're getting up, this is when we do nap time, all the stuff, meals, like you want that. But you're also like not the boss in a sense that like these babies are going to go through growth spurts and they're going to cluster feed, they're not going to nap, and then they're going to nap at a random time, um and they'll nap for a long time, in a short time. and
00:09:13
Speaker
you know, your kid's going to be sick or whatever. Like that stuff is so out of your control. And it was hard. Like I, especially my first, I was like such a lunatic with the nap schedule, like to the minute, because I knew he wouldn't sleep at night. If he didn't get his proper naps, he wouldn't sleep at night. I'd be up all night. you yeah So I was like really crazy. And then with my second, I really chilled out a bit more in the sense that like, it wasn't, you know, she wasn't just falling asleep.
00:09:42
Speaker
ah Wherever that we still had I needed to schedule but it was like hey if it's 20 minutes later It's gonna be okay, you know if she only sleeps for 20 minutes. It's gonna be okay. We don't need to like freak out Which I was definitely like with my first it was very hard Yeah, I think first it's so hard because you don't you haven't seen the other side yet. Like you don't Get in your head like they're never gonna sleep through the night Yes, they will. At some point, they will. like You will get through it. like You will get through the sleep arrest. You will get through whatever. And I don't know if this is like other moms, but like as a breastfeeding mom, like I was up all night.
Career Transitions and Remote Work Benefits
00:10:24
Speaker
My second never took a bottle. It was crazy. And now they wake Shawn up. So we love that beautiful full circle. I'm like, great. You got it. You got it.
00:10:36
Speaker
Yeah, thats yeah yeah it's it's really hard. I thought the transition from zero to one, I haven't had a second, but that that transition was really hard. Oh, it was shocking. yeah Yeah. One to two for me was fine. I give less hands, but far more knowledge. like yeah yeah home you You've been there. It's so much easier once you've been there. um yeah And I think I used to like feel,
00:11:03
Speaker
With my first, I really was worried that I was doing something wrong and I felt like I used social media to compare myself and... I think with my second, I just felt so much more confident in myself and knowing my child, and like every child's different. And like, yeah you're made as a pair, you know, you're a perfect pair. And like what you do together is perfect. And like what other people do is, and I used to get like, this is so irrational. I used to get so upset when people would post like that Huckleberry app and be like, my baby slept 10 hours last night. so Yay. And I'd be like, ah.
00:11:38
Speaker
I was up five times. This is so like, It's so silly, but you're just like, oh, you're in the thick of it. This is dark times. This is so hard. Yeah. The beginning is really, really hard, but I'm glad to hear that one to two was easier. I think because you just don't have as much of an identity shift too. like you're not like no you're at You go from not a mom to mom.
00:12:07
Speaker
Like yeah hip whole yeah what your whole like who you are as a person is like, shh, taken to the core. right And then the second thing, I was a mom of one and now I'm a mom of two, which logistically is definitely harder, but who you are at your core is not changed. Yeah. And your day is set up like pre-kids 5 to 8 p.m. I was doing stuff and now I'm like, oh.
00:12:32
Speaker
we don't leave the house after 6.30, like we're home, it's bedtime, like we need to, you know, which that was so much easier to adjust. Yeah, yeah. My husband and I were talking the other day about we were like reminiscing on our days, like after we were married, but before we had kids. And like we were talking about like, what did we do on Saturday mornings? Like, did we just, we would sleep in, we'd go for a job, we'd get breakfast. Like we, what a life. We didn't know. so yeah
00:13:02
Speaker
I know. I know, we're like, oh, I don't know what sleeping in on a Saturday is anymore. No, I know. My sister's bachelorette party last year was like six girls at the beach and I was the only mom and I was out like hours before everyone. I was like, I'm going to go run on the beach. and go I brought my laptop. I was like, I'll do some work. And then everyone's think up at 10. I'm like, hey, guys. I've been away for four hours. Yeah. I don't think I could sleep in any more if I tried. My body's just hardwired to wake up now. But it's kind of nice because you can get things done. That's great. Yeah. So tell me about the transition
00:13:43
Speaker
um and With either of your kids on coming back from maternity leave because like you said you work full-time um You work from home fullton Like what was that like going from maternity leave where you know 24-7 you're caring for your baby to now you have to shift, you know eight or nine hours of the day to Focusing on work. Was that a tough transition for you or how did Baca? Yeah with my first it was interesting. So I do HR done HR for 10 years My first five years was in retail and then warehousing So I had my first when I was working in warehousing traveling three weeks out of the month. I was like a regional HR manager for like warehouses and like the district and um I got six weeks paid and then I got three weeks work from home and then I had to go back. So it was like real little baby and ah I went back like remotely
00:14:39
Speaker
And it was just such a horrible experience because I didn't like the job anyway. And, um, ah no one asked me how I was doing. No one acknowledged that I had come back from maternity leave. No one. Yeah. And they're like, Oh good, you're back. Um, like, my god here's what's going on. And then I had found out that one of the warehouse managers was complaining that I got too much time off, which is like, I got like six weeks and then I was back.
00:15:09
Speaker
remotely. um But I was like, okay. So I had started kind of poking around for a new role anyway. And I was interviewing with a company where I would eventually get the job. And that three weeks of remote work was about to be up. And Sean was like, you're doing pretty well on these job searches. Like we have some funds. Yeah, leave it.
00:15:31
Speaker
Leave it. This is not the place for you. You're miserable. Didn't pay that well. It was just like, your job search is going well. It's getting a lot of hits. I was in final rounds with this. And so it felt like a crazy gamble. It felt insane. But thankfully, we were living in a townhouse. And our expenses were just pretty low. And we were in a good place. And we were like, OK, we can do this. And I ended up that, I think, a couple of days after I quit or put up my notice.
00:16:01
Speaker
i um I got the job for this remote tech role, um doing ah HR for them, which was so exciting. And that ended up being such a pivotal moment in my career. um Because I got to, I'm in early stage tech now. When I say early stage tech, I think sometimes people think like,
00:16:22
Speaker
people in their basement, like working on the company, which I think a lot of stars too short start that way, but I'm talking about like, Series A, Series B, like they've raised, they got a team, they got people, they've raised some money, like we're in it. But that was my first like early stage check role. And it really just changed my career and the trajectory of my career, um which was so cool. And I didn't know it at the time, but it was like such a pivotal role for me. So just lots of changes at once, but honestly, I kind of think it's a good thing to start a new job after you've had a baby because they don't know you from before. So like your baseline is your new, they only know you as like this person would maybe. um So we ended up arranging in-home childcare since I was remote and then I could like, I didn't even have to pump, I would just like go rusty them.
00:17:14
Speaker
um And, you know, there was some flexibility with remote work, which is really cool. Like the culture I found, at least with the remote roles, I've had seven remote now since 2019. And with a couple of different companies is like, it's global. So like, everyone's online at some point, it's not like clocking in and clocking out nine to five. It's very much like, Oh, you have to step away. That's cool. Yeah, I'm back. It's very deliverable space. Like My thoughts right now is in Europe and, you know, I'll schedule stuff to get sent over to him at like 3 a.m. my time, like I'll work on it in the afternoon so he can then look at it. So yeah, it's really great when you have kids, which is like super flexible. um But I felt a lot of like gratitude for working. um I knew that being a stay-at-home mom was not for me, just personally. um
00:18:08
Speaker
I love my kids, but I know that I'm also really good at my job and I want to be able to provide for them. And I really love having an identity outside of motherhood. um And Sean and I had talked about maybe I take a bit of a break and whatnot, but being an HR is really interesting that a career break will pause your growth. um And some people may experience it differently, um but just being wanting to be in tech, wanting to be an early stage check. If I took a year or two off, I would be behind because HR changes so much. um And just being in it, it would be a bit more challenging to jump in versus like the career growth I've had over the last six years was significant. um And I definitely credit that to that role that I got, but also just continuing to press on.
00:19:06
Speaker
um And I was just really lucky that like, I got that job and I was able to find childcare and that I have a supportive spouse and I have a village and I have family and all that kind of stuff. Um, but working felt, it felt really exciting.
Maintaining Work-Life Boundaries
00:19:20
Speaker
Like I think because I wasn't going back to a previous role, I was going back to something new. It's just a lot of changes at once. And yeah I felt really excited to like get my teeth into it. Um, and that helped that.
00:19:34
Speaker
I had in in-home care. I was seeing him throughout the day, so I didn't feel this. I didn't have the experience of like a daycare drop off or something like that until he's two. Yeah. So yeah, super lucky. I think that's a that's a great piece of advice for working moms. And I like that outlook. That's a very positive outlook on it too, because I feel like I'm kind of a negative fancy. I started a new job off of maternity leave. and i When I look back at it, I just think of it as like, that was I should not have done that. like It was too hard to start something so new and so unknown umm coming off of maternity leave. like i'm I'm somebody, like I said, I'm controlling and I like to know what I'm getting into. And so to go from I'm a new mom, I'm you know experiencing the newness of all that to then also having to go into a new job that was very different from my old one. I thought that was really hard, but I think one of the key
00:20:31
Speaker
He's differences is that I had to go into the office full time. who Yeah. And so I went from seeing my son all day, every day and all night to being away from him, you know, from eight to five 30 every day. And that was really that quick, stark change was too drastic. I think it's hard. Yeah. Cause when I have my second, I went back. So I was at that role, had my second, went back to them.
00:20:58
Speaker
And then this was during like the tech boom of like, where was it? 2021 where like it was just madness. Like the jobs and the, like the way, like the market was just crazy. And like, you know, engineers were getting like a million dollars. Like it was just like crazy. Like, so I got recruited to join a tech startup locally and it was like a very,
00:21:24
Speaker
large increase in salary. So Sean and I were like, we have to take this, but it was hybrid. And that she was six months old. And I was like, this is such a jump, both in responsibility and financially, um but she wouldn't take a bottle. And it was, we had Nanny that had to serve and feed her when I was away.
00:21:47
Speaker
And it was, yeah, that was so, so hard. I got mastoiditis my first day, because I didn't take, I hadn't really pumped before. So I didn't take any like pumping breaks, because I was like scared. And um I was the only, it was like remote first. So they had like a local team, but then they had like a remote team. So they had women, but I was the only woman in the office. So it was like, me and a bunch of guys. So I was like, I don't, I feel weird.
00:22:17
Speaker
And they were all dads. And then eventually I was like, Oh, I'm just gonna go pump. They're like, Yeah, that's fine. Whenever I was like, this is all I'm being crazy. Yeah. But I thought it was I thought I was having an anxiety attack. I was like shaking when I got home. And then Sean was like, you have a really high fever. And it was like, Oh, yeah, that's nice. So that was fun. But yeah, that that was really, it was really hard those days I went in, I just felt like day. It was like fun and I felt guilty that it's kind of fun because I enjoyed like I would go downtown like get a fancy lunch, a fancy coffee and like hang out with people and I like got to like I don't know be someone without children for like which that sounds weird but it was like this other side of myself that I was like without my kids and at work and I just felt like a different person a little bit but then I would come home and be like man I haven't seen these guys in so long and yeah it just like your heart really does like ache and you
00:23:15
Speaker
You feel so guilty and the day is so long and then they're you only see them for like, what, an hour? i And it's like their grumpiest self. Yeah. That was very, very challenging. Yeah. I think the the working in office piece is really tough because Like you said, I think you only get these small periods with them in the morning, you know, before you leave and then at night. And it really forced me, I mean, this is definitely one good thing about it is that it forced me to have really strict boundaries. Like I'm new, even though I was starting a new job and my old self would have wanted to like stay late and like, you know, prove to them that I can, you know, I really, I had to keep reminding myself, you know, the second the clock struck five o'clock, like as much as I want to say, and
00:24:00
Speaker
show that I can stay the late, you know, be the latest one in the office. Like I know I only get until whatever time 7pm with my son. And if I get home any later, that's just cutting off time with him. So it definitely did teach me boundaries, which was good. Yeah. Yeah. I think, you know, once that, that company that was out, they ran out of funding. So I had to find a new role and I went back to remote. Yeah.
Sharing Parenting Duties and Personal Growth
00:24:24
Speaker
And it's funny because I think that's the downfall of remote working is it's, it's a little bit like boundary-less. Yeah. Especially when it's global, there's always someone online and it's, it's very much up to you to turn off. You can't physically leave a space. And in a lot of ways I felt like I was doing both, like I had slack on my phone at breakfast and then the kids are eating breakfast. And then you realize like,
00:24:49
Speaker
okay, yes, I'm physically around them, but am I present with them? they No. And then you have to be a lot more intentional about, okay. And I really messed up with my last job. I was so, I went way too hard with the hours I was putting in. And then we tried to scale it back. They're like, what's wrong with you? And you're like, I can't sustain this. This is yeah crazy. I'm losing my mind. So I just started a new role recently and, um,
00:25:19
Speaker
I'm like very like, no, I can't, I have family ops on my calendar at work at 5 to 8 p.m. yeah And at like 7 to 8 a.m. I love that. That's, we're not, we're not doing anything then. Yeah. Yeah. but I mean, 7 to 8 is like prime, like getting breakfast for the kids, getting them out the door, right up the door. And then, you know, that 5 to 8 time, it's just like,
00:25:44
Speaker
No, so hard. Yeah, especially when you work with like different time zones. Yeah, they're behind Then they're still working and it's like 6 p.m. For you. You have to be very like hey, I am cooking a meal Yeah,
00:26:01
Speaker
yeah one thing I actually love about your Instagram and or I sorry I keep saying Instagram because although I started at some point tiktok got to be like a probably like we were saying like a little too much like the mindless scrolling and just seeing the trails of people's lives. and i I had to delete TikTok, but i you were one of the few people that I had been following on TikTok that I was like, this is somebody who I actually enjoy following. I'm going to transfer it to Instagram. It's so funny. I did post on Instagram for such a long time because Instagram like scared me.
00:26:34
Speaker
I don't know why. That's so funny. I have no idea. I don't know what that fear was. And then eventually I was like, let me like, it's not that hard. I'm uploading a video. Anyway, I can upload over there as well. And I've ended up enjoying Instagram almost more. Like the story feature is really fun. I just feel like I can like connect with people and like share a variety of things like more quickly I guess versus like with like throwing up stories like and what I just feel I don't know how to describe it just feels a bit more like real-time yeah I can throw stuff up versus like having to like edit I guess I could do that with TikTok but yeah I don't well I am that's one of the things I love about when I and any of your social media platforms but on Instagram is where I see it the recipes you do
00:27:28
Speaker
Oh yes, I love dinner. Like the one pot meals, like I'm like, oh yes, this is what I need. Fewer dishes, quick, easy, kid friendly, adult friendly, checks every box. Yes. I always joke with Sean because his favorite meals that I make like take three hours and require like 14 different pots. And I'm like, you always, he's like, can we be having that in a while? I'm like, yeah, Because that's a half a day. That's a Sunday meal. Yeah.
00:27:58
Speaker
He's like, oh, right. Yeah. Yeah. And I'm such a like monday meal crazy person. I like don't let Sean fuck. I used to make fun of my mom. My mom is like very controlling in the kitchen and she'll cook and I'll be like, I can help you. Let me. And she's like, get away.
00:28:13
Speaker
And I'm like like, this lady's insane. And now I'm like, oh, I do that. like Sean's like, I can shop something. I could cook one night. I'm like, absolutely not. This is my thing. And you you need to back off. ah what like just I always wonder this because my husband and I kind of struggle with this. like like He does a lot of cooking, but anytime he's cooking, I'm kind of in charge of cooking. entertaining our two-year-old and kind of I suppose if I'm cooking he's in charge of entertaining our son. So is that how you guys do it or are they otherwise occupied? Yeah. No, that was like the biggest, I think just generally like one of our like parenting like agreements is if someone is doing something that requires focus, they cannot be watching children at the same time. So like cooking was a big one. Yeah. It was like I can't watch kids and cook like
00:29:04
Speaker
someone's going to get hurt either on the stove or throwing themselves off of furniture. No. But then that extends to other things like Sean cleans our toilets. Like if he's handling bleach, he can't be watching children. Like that's no. um Or, you know, doing yard work or spraying anything that requires just, you know, there's an element of danger and focus. Like we we agreed kind of early on, like the other person has to be on the kids, yeah um which I think has worked out really well. And as I've gotten older, it's easier. Like my five-year-old is very much like big Lego guy. He can sit in play. I can cook when he's around, like he can sit in play. He's like, but when they were younger, especially like a 18 month old, ooh, no, that's, it's so hard. Yeah. Yeah. That's my son right now. Like if you turn your head for a five seconds, he's throwing himself. You can't.
00:29:59
Speaker
No, no. And our old house was like kind of more of a closed plan. So it was very, very hard. Now we have a bit more of like an open, I can see what's going on, but still not a replacement for like active caring for children. Like someone needs to be present.
00:30:17
Speaker
Yeah, we've that's been a transition for us too, like the the balancing of like when somebody's doing something, the other one needs to be on childcare and vice versa. And it's funny, like sometimes, like you would think like doing the dishes after dinner would be the the one that neither of us want to do, but sometimes we're like, no, no, I need the peace and quiet. I'll do the dishes. You go start bath time. Yeah. Yeah, Sean, like he cleans up.
00:30:41
Speaker
every night when I cook and um he'll like, I'll hear the podcast going and it's just, you know, having a nice time. It's great. Meanwhile, you're like fighting for your life at the back of time. Yeah, exactly. It's funny. Like it used to be the dream. But then that's me. When I cook, I'm like, I have my love island playing. Yeah. You have the kids. Bye. The trade offs. The trade offs. Yeah. It used to be that we could like relax, both relax and cook dinner together. And now we're like,
00:31:12
Speaker
And that's something that I've also been warned about for having a second. And maybe you can speak to this too is like, sometimes a lot of dividing and conquering has to happen, especially when you have a newborn. And it's like, if you're breastfeeding or something, like mom is usually with newborn, dad is usually with older child. So that's something that a lot of my friends who have to have said like that's a difference between one and two is like one, you know, you're both kind of in the newborn stage together and two, you have to split up a little bit more. Yeah, I think that one on one time with your kids, like both parents with one kid. yeah
00:31:48
Speaker
um is goes away. But it was also like, I think really fun for Sean during his parental leave. Like he just got our oldest out of the house. Like yeah he's like, let's go get ice cream. Let's go do this. And I think that was really special time for them because that oldest is also like very disrupted with a new sibling and a baby and they're like, what's going on? yeah So I think it was really Special for them and really helped him feel important like our youngest feel important. Yeah um Yeah, which is really but yeah I think we do a lot of like especially when we want to get stuff done on the weekends and it's funny because I'll get like You know, you have to remember
00:32:32
Speaker
that social media is a highlight reel. It's very curated. like And I am not, I don't show my children on social media. That's how curated my content is that I am able to yeah to post in a way that they are not there at all. um And so sometimes people are like, oh, you and Sean don't spend any time together. And it's like, well, when we want to do things, yes, we do split up, but then there's a family. We also like, you just have to be intentional. You make time for like, let's go get coffee together. Let's go get breakfast together as a family. Um, you know, now we're starting to enter a sports kid sports mode and it's like bringing all the kids along and yeah having that time together. Um,
00:33:16
Speaker
And it is challenging in some ways, but it's like really rewarding as well to be together. It's like fun. Yeah. Yeah. Um, okay. So I want to ask you about, I know recently you kind of went through the training for, I think it's core power, right?
Pursuing Fitness and Personal Empowerment
00:33:32
Speaker
power yeah got that like What made you want to do that? What would you want to add that to your plate too? And like, how do you. enforce it's So I have been a core power girl since 20, like 15, um, when I first like got my first job or 2014. Okay. Um, so then going for really long time.
00:33:56
Speaker
And then, um, I dragged my sister to it and we were going to do teacher training together back in 2019. And then I found out I was pregnant. So I was like, okay, let's not cause it costs money. And I was like, let's not spend money on this right now. And I'm about to go through like, you know, a very expensive life event, um, and a, and a life transition, but she went ahead and did it. And she's been teaching for five years now.
00:34:24
Speaker
And then, you know, you have a baby, you're breastfeeding, things are crazy. And then you have another baby and you're breastfeeding again and things are crazy again. And then Sean ran the New York City Marathon last year, which was great. I think if anyone is like partners with someone that does endurance sports, it's a very big time commitment. And we entered into the marathon as a unit um that he, you know, I acknowledged that I was going to take on more.
00:34:51
Speaker
childcare while he trains, because it's not, there's some of those runs are four or five hours long. And like the deal we made was he got, we got a Bob jogging stroller. So he took some of when it was cooler out, the kids running with him on like a three miler, not a 20 miler, but like, you know, and lots of his runs took place after bedtime or very early, a four hour run would start at six.
00:35:18
Speaker
so that he'd be done at 10 versus you know starting at 10 and being gone yeah until 2 PM and then the whole day you're just alone with the kids surviving. um But regardless of those late parameters, it was still demanding on me. So once that was over, I was like, I want to do something.
00:35:38
Speaker
for me now. And my I knew that my job was winding down my previous shop. And I was like, I'm going to do the teacher training. Because I've been wanting to do it for almost 10 years now. yeah I'm not breastfeeding. We have the funds to pay for it. We have the time. like I can do this. And it was six weeks long. And it just felt like the perfect time. And it was an amazing.
00:36:07
Speaker
sort of distraction if anyone's been actively job searching. It's so all consuming to the point that it can be exhausting. yeah I actually had someone that follows me in one of my classes and we were doing side lunges, like standing side lunges. And it was like, I had a remix of Mabel's God is a Dancer playing just high vibes. She just sat down in the middle of class and was just like on her phone. And I was like, oh my God, this girl hates She hates this class. And then after she's like, Hey, I follow you on Instagram. But I just found out I got laid off yesterday. And I got two rejection emails in the middle of class. And I was like, Oh my gosh, girl, I was looking at some of your tips and whatever. And I saw her in class the other week. And she's like, I got a job. And she took my class and was like,
00:36:55
Speaker
high vibes. It's always like, okay, good. It can be like, it's an addiction. Like like you you start applying and you're looking at emails coming through. Am I getting an interview? Am I getting rejected? and it It just consumes your thoughts. So having something that took my focus was amazing. it I was nervous. I was thinking about it. It was a little bit stressed, but I was excited. And when you're in there, you can't look at your phone and you have to be 100% focused on it. And I love movement. And I think that you can
00:37:31
Speaker
I think there can be a negative connotation with exercise. And I want people to experience a joy when I move. um And I feel like I can bring that to a class. So and I want people to feel of like all levels and capabilities and whatever to feel like good ahead in a studio. And yeah, I just it's been the best thing ever. It doesn't feel like additional stressor.
00:37:59
Speaker
um The benefits are amazing, and since I get a membership for myself and then another membership for whoever I want, so Sean gets that, and Cool Power really take care of their team and gives me community outside of motherhood. I have friends there, and that's been the best thing ever. And I think it's helped me at work.
00:38:22
Speaker
ah If you're not familiar with a group fitness instructors, what it entails and you're navigating so many variables in a room, you have bodies moving, you have music, you have time, you have the lights, and then you have the variable of people. So someone, you know, maybe trying to talk to you while you're trying to leave your room, you have to speak clearly, you might say a cue and it doesn't land. So you have to think of another way to say it so they start moving correctly so they'll hurt themselves.
00:38:53
Speaker
Yeah, now at work presenting all that kind of stuff, I just feel so much more confident when I'm like screaming over EDM at 50 people. um how it's like I find that presenting on an all hands is almost easier in a sense. Yeah, and talk about multitasking, like you said, like keeping all of those things I always wonder how you do that. Like you're timing to the music. And for anyone who doesn't know, because I've actually never taken a core power class. They don't have it where I live, unfortunately, although I had to know them before begging them to. Yeah, good. Tell them.
00:39:26
Speaker
Don't worry, I have. um But um what what is an intense, like it's like hot yoga, strength. Yes, heated room, heated to like 90. No extra humidity though, but you'll sweat a lot. And then hour long class, first four songs or so is like a yoga warmup, very basic. Then you'll go into like bicep curls and squatting and like a bit of cardio and like, lots of just arm moves, shoulder moves, core moves, stuff like that, and then you'll cool down with yoga. um The interesting thing, and I think what makes the class so fun, is that it's beat driven. So you teach to the music. So like, I don't think in my head like, oh, we have three minutes of arms. I'm like, okay, we have one song of arms, then we have one song of squats, and you're teaching to the eight count. um And I'm not someone that's like,
00:40:20
Speaker
I don't play instruments, or I haven't studied music, so I have to like learn this whole like eight count. How do I hear the topic phrase? Start counting down, like yeah be able to time it. So then you you know you'll change a move with a beat drop, and it's so fun. If you've taken like a spin class, it's like a similar element, and it feels so good when you're like, in a room and you're all moving together and you're moving with a B and it's safe. yeah um You don't want people moving at different rates and doing different things because then that's how you get hurt. um But yeah, you have to like say like the music's your co-teacher. So you have to like be listened to that, but also be queuing. Know your sequence, you know, because people don't know. So they're looking at you for guidance. and
00:41:02
Speaker
moving around the room. Yeah. You get used to it, but it's like first class, I i was going to throw up. It's like so overwhelming and scary. It's really hard. And is it like, like I'm imagining it kind of like Peloton where that like you as the instructor are doing it with the class or you're more just focused on showing the moods, but then making sure everyone's doing it right.
00:41:22
Speaker
Yeah, you demo and then you move around because the room, like the room I teach in, I think it holds up to 50 people. So it's like relatively big. So you want to like go around and cue and like make sure people can hear, but then yeah, you're demoing up at the front, but it's with cycling, you know, you have that like nice stage that everyone can sort of see. Yeah. And there's only so much you can do versus like a free weights class. There's just so many different body positions that you really have to like help them as you're walking around with your words. Yeah, I am. I always wonder like how in the world the Peloton instructors do that because like they do, I mean, and you're into Peloton too, right? Like I think Oh yeah, I got the bike. I got the tread. Yeah. I love it. Yeah. i like How do they talk through the whole class doing every like, I i don't know.
00:42:16
Speaker
And I assume they have the camera element, which I can't imagine. So you you want the students to hear you, but you also want to be you know talking to the right camera. I'm sure it takes yeah months and months of training. But yeah, I get out of breath just walking around the room and yelling for an hour. I can't imagine running on a tripod and talking. But I think Peloton is great for a couple of my friends who have become moms.
00:42:44
Speaker
um And we're really into like, you know, movement and doing some sort of physical dancing beforehand, and then are really struggling with how to fit it in after having a baby. That's one of my like biggest tips is it doesn't even have to be that full time, but and you can go on YouTube and find free yoga classes, free Pilates, you know, that's classes, like the ability to do things at home and just take like you were saying, 30 minutes to just let you get a little something. Yeah. we't have And like Sean and I, you know,
00:43:16
Speaker
Yeah, we built out our garage with weight, like fitness equipment. And it's mostly from like Facebook marketplace. Like there's so much stuff people are trying to get rid of.
00:43:27
Speaker
at a discounted rate. um you know You don't need to invest unless you want to. A lot of money and like state-of-the-art equipment. There's a lot of stuff out there you know that we we picked up and slowly built our collection along the way. And I think I love group fitness for the community. And we always made it a priority that I would get to one class a week um just to get out of the house, especially working remote.
00:43:56
Speaker
I'm not leaving. There are days I won't leave my house. So it's like, get out of the house, see people, you know, be without, you know, children out of this like motherhood mode for an hour and see people have fun.
Adapting to New Roles and Building Flexibility
00:44:10
Speaker
It's it's like it's nice to connect with people, but for like a daily movement, if you can just hop on your bike or whatever in your house, the convenience is Unmatched like it's there's no gotta get there early get my spot fine parking. Like it's not that at all You're right in and out yeah so fast. Yeah, I love I love that I love having the option to work out from home because I used to get like this Fear that like some sort of anxiety that when I would go let's say I would go out to like a classic outside, you know a group fitness class I would have this fear that like even though chase my husband was home and
00:44:47
Speaker
and fully capable of like, there when my, let's say like the baby was sleeping and I went up, I went out early in the morning before the baby got up. I still had this like fear that if I was not there when the baby woke up, like something would happen. Like it gave me some anxiety, even though, like I said, he was perfectly capable of handling almost anything by himself without, you know, needing me there. But sometimes it was nice to just be able to be home. And so I knew like, okay, if the baby wakes up early, like I'm here,
00:45:16
Speaker
you know, they can come get me if they need. Yeah. Yeah, I get that. I used to feel that way too. And I think I really had to just accept and Sean used to sort of say this to me, like Sean's always like, I'm capable. Yeah, I am a parent. I am capable. But I think internally, I had to accept that his form of parenting was going to be different than mine. And that doesn't mean that it's bad.
00:45:39
Speaker
um And he may not be able to make pasta the way I make it or whatever, but he is capable of yeah making food and feeding our children. And then he may do bath time differently or pick out different pajamas. And it's like letting go. I've come so far from where I was. yeah um But just like letting go of everything has to be the way I do it or else it's bad. or yeah They are so happy with him. He is so happy.
00:46:09
Speaker
to be with them. Yes. They're good. yeah And now they have their own little routines and traditions, which is really sweet to see that they have like their thing that they do. We have our thing. And it's like, yeah, you know, they have they make it a like a fun. Yeah, it's just like special for them. And then once you kind of let go of that, it becomes a lot easier. Yeah, I think, you know, that's a lot of practice and time. But yeah it's it's special. Like I I think um think about that too a lot. like you know There are things that like when my mom comes to town and is watching my son, like she does things differently than I would do it. But obviously I turned out fine. like She raised me and I turned out fine. And my grandparents, there were things that they let me do that my mom never would have let me do. But they're special memories I have and special things that you know that I have. Grandparents that I didn't do with my parents. And so it's all, like you're right, it's all about yeah a good,
00:47:07
Speaker
um kind of like bigger picture life. Yeah. Yeah. and so It can be hard. Both my kids have allergies, which is a ah big stressor um for us, you know, with anyone that they're with. Even my parents, his parents were very much like, they cannot have this. And like, we've gotten to the point with our family that they're very like aware. Yeah. um We're so lucky. I know some people don't have dynamics that, you know, there's like collaboration like that. yeah But they're very much like, I'll get texts from like my mom or my other in law. It's like, hey, can I have this? Is this okay? and I checked it. There's no egg, like whatever. They had this before. ah And they have like, now it's to the point that like, they know what foods to keep in their house. That's a good snack that works. But yeah, it caused like that next level of anxiety. ah Which is not fun. Yeah, I don't want to do that. i I know that that would probably send me a message.
00:48:11
Speaker
goes to you first Well, you know, and this is kind of a crazy take. We had to use the AbiPen, oh, six months ago maybe? be One to use at once. And this is how I kind of calm my anxiety. I'm like, okay.
00:48:25
Speaker
If they do react, we have, the epi yeah, we're okay. It's going to be okay. like that Is that an ideal scenario? Absolutely not. Then you have to call 911. They got to go to the ambulance. They got to be, it sucks. But I keep reminding myself, like okay, like it's going to be fine. There is treatment. There is a solution. yeah ah It really consumes you. like Eating new places is so stressful. yeah yeah I was definitely the person who was like going to give my son peanut butter in the parking lot of the hospital. Yeah. it's like Yeah. have an
00:49:00
Speaker
Yeah. I mean, it's that first time you're like, what's happening? well like They just tell you like, this could. They're so chill. I don't know, but good luck. like And even the allergy testing is such an interesting form of medicine in those sense, but they are so like, I believe, I can't remember what they said. If it was a negative, it could still potentially be an allergy. Right. But if it came back positive, then yes, they are definitely allergic.
00:49:30
Speaker
Which you're like, okay, great for the confirmation. But the negatives, it's like there's still a chance and allergies can change over time. It's like they could get worse. Too many crazy course of action. Yeah. like I just want to protect them and feed them plain pasta forever and then we'll be fine.
00:50:00
Speaker
Oh yeah, I don't. i ah um My son is in daycare and there's a couple of kids with egg allergies and peanuts, sesame and mango. So anytime you send like treats to school, you know, for anybody's birthday or something, we always um do egg free. And one time I wanted to bake something. So I like was on these like allergy mom baking websites, like trying to make muffins that didn't have egg. And I was like,
00:50:28
Speaker
i like No, it's so hard. Well, Whole Foods have these muffins. They're called Abe's. It's like the brand. They're like every allergen free. And they taste so good. Sean and I, like, we like eat them. Like, we love them. and you know Yeah, my kids love them. And like, that's what I always send in. There's like ah ah gluten free, egg free, like dairy free, nut free. It's like, yeah, everything's fine. that's Okay, good. Because my my one friend has a daughter with an egg allergy and
00:51:01
Speaker
One time her and I were talking about the cupcakes for her daughter. And I was like, Oh, just ki like, what about the vegan cupcakes? Like, you know, there's so many vegan options. She was like, No, vegan cupcakes are not good. Like she's even my daughter doesn't like a vegan cupcake. No, they're not good. And they have so many other ingredients. And I'm scared that like, well, these are sort of like more obscure things that you don't really eat.
00:51:25
Speaker
And then I'm like, what if she reacts to this? Like, what's going to happen then? Oh, it's just this vicious cycle. Yeah, no, that my anxiety could not handle it. I really am glad you guys were getting through that. Hopefully it'll get better. Hopefully, you know. I hope so. I hope so. Yeah. Real quick, one thing, one of the last things I wanted to touch on before I let you go is um I thought this was really smart. And I don't know if you guys still do it, but I know at one point,
00:51:54
Speaker
um you mentioned on one of your stories or reals that you and Sean share like a calendar for the kids. And that was one of your ways that you like logistically do doctor's appointments and stuff like that. So can you explain that a little bit? Because I think that's a tip for any parents out there. Yes, we have a shared email, email, that a Gmail account.
00:52:19
Speaker
that we give to like doctors in schools and anyone that's like dealing with her kids basically. So we can both get see the emails, get eyes on it. Honestly, it was like, I'm the bad one that doesn't check email at all. Like even like I was joking, like my sweating at nap time email has 1100 on it.
00:52:37
Speaker
ah So if anyone's trying to email me, I'm so sorry. I will eventually get through it. But um yeah, so Sean was like, enough's enough, but we're creating a joint account so that we can see
Managing Family Logistics and Support Networks
00:52:49
Speaker
what's going on. And apparently that's becoming more common, like in schools, as you see it more, ae which that's been amazing. The only like,
00:52:57
Speaker
not great part of it is that if you read it, you don't get the note, the other approach person doesn't get like the notification. So it's just like, you have to manually check it, which is fine. It works. And then we share work calendars with each other. Like, you know, like in Gmail, you can like give someone access to your calendar. So we do that. So you can just kind of see what their day looks like or, you know, whatever is going on.
00:53:22
Speaker
And then you started sending invites to our work calendars. I know not everyone may be comfortable with doing that. Like my work, like we're pretty fine with it. Like i I don't mind having like my kid's doctor's appointments or my haircut or whatever on there. I'm like, what are you gonna do? um But it's the calendar I check the most. So I just made that my like,
00:53:46
Speaker
sort of source of truth of, okay, here's everything that we have. And then Sean and I just send the invites to each other. Um, cause we're always looking at that calendar in particular. And it seems to work well. And so the point now that I feel like I'm like a meeting, like we have a, an appointment or whatever. And it was like, I didn't know. I'm like, well, it was not a calendar. You need to invite.
00:54:09
Speaker
you yeah do for weekends. And we do it for truly everything. Like, yeah, you know, I totally am. Dog grooming. It's just nice to know what what do we have going on? Yeah, it's the only way to manage all of the balls in the air, right? Like, kid sports, like you may have an appointment. Like Chase has a doctor's appointment. He has called like Chase's job is very, um, he works from home full time, but it's very like call focused. Like he has yeah pretty much back to back all day, similar to yours maybe. And so yeah for me to know that like sometimes even though he's home, like he's not available, like I can't just waltz on in there. i And that can be sometimes I think a misconception of remote work is that people think that you are then available
00:54:58
Speaker
yeah to do sort of like housework or things, you know, hey, the bug person is coming or or a vendor or something. And like, we had to, our washing machine wasn't working and we had to reschedule like three times because we both had calls and stuff. And it's like, hey, just because I'm home, I can't yeah jump up and and help support a washing machine. You know, technicians, I have stuff I have to do.
00:55:29
Speaker
And I think that in 2019, that was very much the mindset, like, of like, even, you know, people just say, well, why can't you do this? Why can't you? And it's like, because I'm working, I work from home, but I'm working. And, but now I think it's much more common. The culture is just really shifted that people truly understand, like, what that looks like now. Yeah, I think COVID probably helped me a lot with that. Because so many people transitioned to work from home during that time. And teleworking became more common and people realize like, oh, and this isn't just like a walk in the park where I get to be home and fold laundry while I do my work. Like I. Right. Yeah. No, I would never. Yes. Yes. I have to be actively. I could not imagine like folding laundry on the call. Sometimes be like no what is going like aspirationally think like, Oh, I'll fold the laundry at some point today. Like that look, when I'm working from home, I think that does it ever happen?
00:56:24
Speaker
No, never. My last role, I worked, one of my peers, I just looked up to her so much. She was like a little bit older than me and she had like three kids and they were like all in like kind of later stage, lower school. So she's just like a little bit of ahead of me. And um just like, I really just loved her. She's so good at her job, just like really cool. And I remember one time I was having an issue and I was like, Hey, can I, can we just jump on and like talk here? And she's like, yeah, absolutely. And then we jumped on her voice sounded like a little bit far away. And she's like, I'm in the kitchen.
00:57:00
Speaker
I'm making pancakes right now. I meal prep them. So she's like, go ahead, tell them what's going on. I'm just gonna be here. I was like, this is amazing. It was just like, she did she did motherhood like out loud at work, yeah which was so cool um to see. And it made me very comfortable like also doing that. And yeah, I just really admired how she This is very unapologetic about like everything else in her life. Didn't try to hide it. Yes. And she was also really good at her job. So like it's so that you can do both. I love that. Can do both. And I think like I found, I always say like motherhood made me a supercharged version of myself because I find when you have a deadline of like, I have childcare from this time to this time, like my output is so incredibly high now.
00:57:53
Speaker
way more than pre-kids, what I can accomplish in two hours. I can do a day's work in two hours, like yeah truly. type Just lock in, get it done. And I think that's like, everyone talks about how poor it is and how you know what you lose when you become a mother, but I think you gain so much, way more, I think, than like maybe the, quote unquote, like freedom of you know that you lose when you when you have children.
00:58:20
Speaker
I think she was very much like that. Like she would lock in and get so much good stuff done. And she'd be like, okay, bye. Time for pickup. Yeah. I love that. I think that's, that's so empowering and a very positive way to look at it. So I love it. Yeah. Yeah. Great place to end I think actually. So, um, yeah, I want to give everyone, I want to give you the chance to tell everyone where they can find you, where they can follow you on social media. Because like I said, it's been such a great follow for me over the last couple of years of being a
Conclusion and Social Media Connections
00:58:49
Speaker
mom. So I want to,
00:58:50
Speaker
Make sure everyone knows that. Yeah. Yeah. Swelling it that time on TikTok and Instagram. Yeah. Come follow along. I post there most days. Just about my life, some recipes, got some HR tips now and again. So yeah.
00:59:08
Speaker
Yes. that I love the HR stuff and i like the job. Those are so easy. Those are fine. I have nothing to post today. I got a real quick film, something at my desk. They're great. They're so helpful for like non-HR people to know like the, you know, behind the scenes kind of. Yes. Those are fun um because I think people don't know what I do sometimes. So it's like nice to share like a bit more insight into that world.
00:59:35
Speaker
I love it, I love it. Well, thank you so so much for being on. We so appreciate it. I will let you go and can't wait to maybe have you back another time. Yes, sounds good. Thank you so much.
01:00:07
Speaker
be sure to connect with us on social media. You can find us on Instagram at bestmomeverpod. Share your thoughts, suggestions, or just come by to vent about the insane thing your child did today. Because let's be honest, we all feel better knowing we're not alone.
01:00:20
Speaker
And if you have an idea for a topic you'd love for us to discuss in future episodes, or if you even want to be a guest to tell others how you do it all, email us at bestmameverpod at gmail.com. That's bestmameverpod at gmail.com. Big thanks to our amazing listeners for joining us today. We appreciate each and every one of you. As always, stay tuned for more Best Mom Ever goodness delivered to you weekly. And until next time, remember, you're not just a mom, you're like the best mom ever.