Transcript

Speaker: Welcome to Elixir Radio, a podcast brought to you by Elixir Media Co.

Speaker: I'm your host, Tanya Jane, and I'm so excited to journey with you on this beautiful exploration of creativity, self-expression, business strategy, and what it truly takes to embody and revolutionize your entire brand, business, and life.

Speaker: This is a podcast for the revolutionary heart-led, Aquarian-age leader ready to rise, elevate, dismantle, disrupt, and lead with their edge.

Speaker: Honor their unique self-led brand and soul lessons.

Speaker: It is my God-given purpose to help you share your story in a way that honors your soul and elevate your growth, to empower you to deepen your relationship with self so you can show up powerfully in all aspects of your life and guide you to your fiercest self-expression so you never have to dim your voice or light again for anyone.

Speaker: This podcast will help you follow your fire.

Speaker: You know, that thing you can't stop thinking about, the thing that lights you up, that you wake up at at 3 a.m.

Speaker: every night.

Speaker: and chase your big, hairy, scary, and audacious dreams so you can make them a reality instead of playing small.

Speaker: Saddle up, wild one.

Speaker: It's time to come home to yourself and share your story with others who need your medicine.

Speaker: Your life has multiple layers to it, and so do you.

Speaker: It's time to express all of who you are, however you desire.

Speaker: My motto has always been bring the soul back into social media and show up online and in real life as you are.

Speaker: Unapologetic, activated, and bold.

Speaker: Are you ready to fly?

Speaker: Let's go.

Speaker: All right.

Speaker: Hello, my beautiful friend.

Speaker: Welcome to the beautiful podcast, Kiki.

Speaker: You're my first guest, by the way.

Speaker: Oh, my God.

Speaker: I love this.

Speaker: And we are relaunching my podcast.

Speaker: And so you are going to be one of the first guests on mine as well.

Speaker: So how exciting is this?

Speaker: Super excited.

Speaker: I'm so grateful that you're here and that we finally reconnected.

Speaker: And I got to hug you after how many years in person?

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: It's been a half.

Speaker: It's been a hot minute.

Speaker: It has.

Speaker: It really has.

Speaker: For those of you who don't know Kiki, you know, I'm going to get this over right off the bat.

Speaker: Go follow her at QuentinCreatrix on Instagram.

Speaker: Like she is all about the breathwork and, you know, all things.

Speaker: being wholly integrated and embodied as you are in your leadership and she's just such a pure soul like you can't not feel happy when you go to her feed or watch her story so if you need your daily dose of happiness go to kiki and also check her out on insight timer because she has some really cool meditations on so oh my goodness what a pop-up oh my god tanya

Speaker: I love you.

Speaker: And well, I guess we have to do this like equally because this for anyone who's like, this is a very weird start to a podcast.

Speaker: Tanya and I decided that we were going to do a jam out session that could satisfy both of our podcasts because we when we did meet in person, we had a really great in-depth conversation about the coaching industry and some fallacies that we were seeing within it.

Speaker: So, um, we decided that we needed to hop on a podcast and have a conversation about it.

Speaker: So let me give you a little quick intro to Tanya Jane is, uh, the, like, I don't even know what to call you.

Speaker: You are a creative genius.

Speaker: You are a brand marketing, everything like

Speaker: Literally Jane of all trades, you do it all.

Speaker: I saw your stories the other day.

Speaker: I had no idea that you were also a photographer.

Speaker: I was just like, oh, you do that too.

Speaker: She will take your business vision to the next level.

Speaker: And she is elixirmedia.co on Instagram.

Speaker: So be sure to go and follow her.

Speaker: And can you just like give the peeps a like insight as to elixir because it's E-L-I-X-S-E-E-R.

Speaker: Where did that come from?

Speaker: Oh, gosh.

Speaker: Okay, so we're starting with my story.

Speaker: So as you know, in depth, when we first when I met you, like I shared like what was happening this year.

Speaker: And for those of you listening, I don't know where you guys are on the podcast.

Speaker: But I do share my story in the very first episode, my business as I knew it, my business was called warrior life creative co for all these years.

Speaker: And

Speaker: That business, that model, that structure as it was kind of burnt to the ground, if you will.

Speaker: Literally 21 days into 2022, it burnt to the ground.

Speaker: I became certified as a Holy Fire Reiki master practitioner on a Friday.

Speaker: And then on a Monday, I literally had my quote unquote three days.

Speaker: Consistent clients, something happened, someone couldn't pay, someone's not renewing, and someone outgrew me and I outgrew them.

Speaker: So it just burned to the ground.

Speaker: And what happened was it set me free.

Speaker: I didn't have the courage to release those clients.

Speaker: There's nothing wrong with them.

Speaker: It's just as you grow and evolve.

Speaker: Not everyone can come along for the ride.

Speaker: I'll go with everyone, right?

Speaker: So it was bittersweet.

Speaker: But looking back, I'm so deeply appreciative of it.

Speaker: And long story short, to the first six months of this year, I kind of found myself watching the old crumble in one shot while watching the new foundations being set in stone.

Speaker: And I mean, this kind of will play well into the conversation that we're

Speaker: wanting to have about like the coaching industry, just like entrepreneurship and like the online space, especially June 2022.

Speaker: I was at a client retreat.

Speaker: And like by this point in the year, I was carrying a lot of heaviness that I didn't really talk to anyone about except for my mentors.

Speaker: And God bless the fact that I had mentors to go to, because if you're not an entrepreneur and if you're not in the space, you're not going to understand it.

Speaker: Like, yeah.

Speaker: This isn't a jab at normal corporate working people, but it's like I dealt with I don't even know how many refunds.

Speaker: It's not that I wanted to refund.

Speaker: It's just it ended up happening, right?

Speaker: Because when your foundations are not built in alignment, it's not going to sustain.

Speaker: And so that's the crux of what was going on in my life.

Speaker: And I'm like, all right, I'm like, this needs to just go back to where it came from.

Speaker: I had close to 200K in signed contracts.

Speaker: contracted sales that were supposed to come in this year gone I was being emotionally harassed belittled whatever degraded abused la la la by a client I that I signed on in January actually I signed her on

Speaker: December 31st should have never done that.

Speaker: I knew I shouldn't have done that.

Speaker: But I did.

Speaker: Because again, it's we get so caught up in Oh, the numbers, oh, the metrics, the shiny syndrome and the excitement, right?

Speaker: The hype.

Speaker: But I've learned it's never about quantity.

Speaker: It's about the quality of people that you're working with and co creating with.

Speaker: So that was my big lesson.

Speaker: And

Speaker: You know, God bless that client.

Speaker: I'm not even upset anymore about it because it's one of those things where that opened up the Pandora's box for me personally about where my boundaries were pretty much non-existent in every part of my life, be it in my marriage, in my parenting, in my relationship with clients and with myself.

Speaker: Like I had no boundaries.

Speaker: Like I literally had no standards.

Speaker: I don't even like the word boundary.

Speaker: There were no standards.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And when you don't have standards, you can be loosey goosey with everyone.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And people will try to pull your chain and like pull you whichever way the wind goes, so to speak.

Speaker: So in June, I, you know, and this is I want to be this is a trigger warning just in case.

Speaker: I was suicidal in June.

Speaker: Something else happened in my business where I lived, you know, when you have nothing left to give anymore.

Speaker: And then there's one more thing that happens.

Speaker: And I'm like, honestly, like, I don't have anything more left to give.

Speaker: It is a zero income month.

Speaker: And it's not that I didn't bring in income that month.

Speaker: I just had nothing to give to my home.

Speaker: The part that I'm responsible for, you know, and so it's like,

Speaker: There were so many cycles breaking.

Speaker: And also there's so much a strife, your relationships are being affected by all of this stuff that's happening.

Speaker: I was I think that's the most depressed I had ever been.

Speaker: And it's because I didn't talk about what was going on.

Speaker: I was holding on to it.

Speaker: I was staying quiet.

Speaker: Like, yes, I was going to mentors, but I couldn't really like

Speaker: I don't want to go cry to my mentors all the time.

Speaker: You're almost like putting on this.

Speaker: Okay, like I can walk through it and I can do it.

Speaker: And I could until I couldn't anymore until the plates just started to start crashing.

Speaker: And I'm like, all right, let it crash.

Speaker: I'm just watching this crash.

Speaker: I have nothing more left to give.

Speaker: It's fine.

Speaker: And so I was at a client retreat that June.

Speaker: It was on solstice, actually.

Speaker: And I just had the ugliest cry.

Speaker: And I was like, I don't want to be here.

Speaker: What would it feel like to just not be here if I go away?

Speaker: All of this just stops.

Speaker: If I go away, if I end my life, my family's better off.

Speaker: My husband's better off.

Speaker: Like there's no income problems.

Speaker: There's no inconsistency problems.

Speaker: My clients are better off.

Speaker: No one's going to need more refunds.

Speaker: Like it was just like that mindset.

Speaker: It was such a tunnel vision mindset.

Speaker: And so my mind, all the lies that we tell ourselves by the way, because we know on the other side of that, that none of that is true.

Speaker: I know, but I couldn't see beyond that.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: And I just, I couldn't see beyond it.

Speaker: And so I like in my mind, I'm like, okay, I'm like, this is how it's going to happen.

Speaker: This is how I'm going to do it.

Speaker: And this is when I'm going to do it.

Speaker: And the days leading up to it, I just need to tie up my loose ends and affairs.

Speaker: And I was very methodically processing that.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: One of my best friends, like she has a studio here local in Mississauga.

Speaker: So many of you know her as Jennifer Rabanil.

Speaker: She's the founder of Styleworthy.

Speaker: I met her a few years ago on my business journey and she recognized the signs of someone committing suicide.

Speaker: And she read between the lines of my text message.

Speaker: And she showed up at my house like the next day and she was like, what?

Speaker: She's like, no.

Speaker: you don't need to go.

Speaker: It's your old business that needs to go.

Speaker: That's what needs to happen.

Speaker: And I'm like, I don't know.

Speaker: I'm like, I don't feel that yet.

Speaker: She's like, okay.

Speaker: She placed me on watch for two months.

Speaker: And I, for two months, can I, can I make it from this hour to the next?

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: Can I make it from this day to the next?

Speaker: Like that's literally, I started living my day moment to moment, hour to hour.

Speaker: So with elixir, four days into feeling this way or five days into feeling this way, actually, it was the middle of the night.

Speaker: Oh, and I was also sick for six freaking weeks.

Speaker: This was also the time I was so sick for six weeks.

Speaker: My hearing non-existent, like temporarily non-existent.

Speaker: My sinus was so badly infected.

Speaker: Like I had, I barely had sight.

Speaker: I couldn't see clearly.

Speaker: Like it was just bad and it wasn't COVID.

Speaker: OK, like, we know where I stand on that.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: This is this is, you know, I humored myself and I humored my family.

Speaker: I was like, fine, I'll go take a test.

Speaker: So it wasn't COVID.

Speaker: It just wasn't.

Speaker: And this was, you know, when I went to see the doctor, he was like, what have you been holding on?

Speaker: What are you not like my lungs?

Speaker: I couldn't breathe.

Speaker: So that's the amount of grief.

Speaker: That's the amount of pain that I was holding.

Speaker: I lost 23 pounds in six weeks just because of feeling so sick.

Speaker: And then I do believe a lot of that is the energetic weight.

Speaker: Oh, 1000% that I shed, you know, so with elixir one on the fifth or sixth, no fifth night in, I wake up.

Speaker: I don't even know what time it is.

Speaker: I'd gone to bed early that night because I was still sick.

Speaker: I was so tired.

Speaker: I'm like, okay,

Speaker: I just need to sleep.

Speaker: Woke up at some point in the night.

Speaker: I just heard the voice.

Speaker: I'm like, what?

Speaker: Who?

Speaker: Like, all right.

Speaker: I know I'm on a lot of meds right now, but like, I'm not crazy.

Speaker: I'm not hallucinating.

Speaker: What?

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: I am.

Speaker: I am very clairvoyant.

Speaker: I've never thought of myself as clairaudient because I've just never thought it.

Speaker: Like, I don't have that.

Speaker: I've never thought of myself as that.

Speaker: I heard it again.

Speaker: And I'm like, hey, I'm like, I'm definitely not making shit up right now.

Speaker: And it hit me and I'm like, oh, wait, I write about elixir all the time in my poetry.

Speaker: Like you are the elixir, like you have the medicine, like you have it all within you, like you don't need to go outside of you.

Speaker: And anyone who knows me knows I love a play on words.

Speaker: Like it's my thing, my jam.

Speaker: And I'm like, wait, elixir, like we are seers.

Speaker: We each have our own knowing, we each have our own discernment.

Speaker: Our bodies are the biggest barometer of that discernment.

Speaker: They will never, like our bodies will never lie ever.

Speaker: Your logic will lie.

Speaker: Your mind will even lie.

Speaker: We know this, but your body will never lie.

Speaker: And so I'm like, okay, elixir, elixir.

Speaker: And I'm like, elixir her.

Speaker: And I'm like, holy shit.

Speaker: Like, oh, I'm supposed to see myself.

Speaker: Okay, great.

Speaker: And so I messaged my VA.

Speaker: I think she was in Dubai at the time.

Speaker: Like that's where her family was situated.

Speaker: I was like, hey,

Speaker: I know it's morning there, like good morning.

Speaker: And I know I'm like waking up at a random time.

Speaker: Can you go block this handle off or like just change my handle to this?

Speaker: Done.

Speaker: And I'm like, can you just go archive all my old posts?

Speaker: Like just go dark.

Speaker: I'm like, actually don't go dark.

Speaker: Go white.

Speaker: Go completely white.

Speaker: Blank slate.

Speaker: Like nothing.

Speaker: And that was, it was July, June 26th that that happened.

Speaker: And that's not that long ago.

Speaker: That's about six months ago.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And then so the whole summer, I didn't have any posts on my Instagram.

Speaker: It was just Elixir.

Speaker: So people are like, who is this?

Speaker: And I'm like, it's Tanya.

Speaker: Like, this is not some random person.

Speaker: This is me.

Speaker: But that's how Elixir came about.

Speaker: I love that.

Speaker: And it's like a return to like who I really am, who I really was always meant to be.

Speaker: And the whole warrior life, like my business lawyer, I remember telling me,

Speaker: and the company is like you mean i'm not supposed to do entrepreneurship no i can't go back to corby's like no and the company start a new company or a new brand

Speaker: I'm like, oh, because there was so much heaviness and so much drama associated to it.

Speaker: And he's like, don't build things in anger.

Speaker: He's like, think of that energy.

Speaker: You built warrior life, which was previously the holistic warrior life, because you were like, I'm going to prove it.

Speaker: I'm going to stick it to the old man.

Speaker: How about you build an alignment?

Speaker: What?

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: I love that.

Speaker: And I feel too, warrior has such masculine energy to it.

Speaker: And while there is a masculine component, a lot of what you do, there is also this beautiful feminine essence that I think gets played out much better now, much more evolved now.

Speaker: in what it is your brand stands for.

Speaker: So I love that.

Speaker: And you and I went through like a very similar kind of timeline.

Speaker: Obviously, mine was more personal rather than interpersonal.

Speaker: I mean, there were some things playing.

Speaker: The triggers started as interpersonal things, which then very much just deeply internalized with me.

Speaker: And anyone who's on my podcast knows that I actually just finished doing a whole...

Speaker: reintroduction explaining this story.

Speaker: But the, you know, Cole's notes version, cliff note version, is that I had this, like,

Speaker: Pivotal?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: Pentacle?

Speaker: What's the... It's like the top of the mountain.

Speaker: Like I had this moment.

Speaker: Pentacle?

Speaker: Pentacle.

Speaker: It had to be one of those.

Speaker: I'm like, I know it starts with a P. I had reached this moment in my business that like not many brands get to.

Speaker: And I had reached this very elusive number in a month.

Speaker: And

Speaker: It was such a great moment for me, for my business, for my evolution.

Speaker: And in a second, it just came crumbling down because on the way to that, I had a longstanding friend who

Speaker: who couldn't see my success, who couldn't celebrate my success.

Speaker: And in that calling out of, you know, very much making it about her and how hard she would have to work and how she could never have a something like that, you know, it wasn't anything to do with me, but then, you know, it became, oh, well, you've changed.

Speaker: That was like the end story of that.

Speaker: And so it was very much not in that moment.

Speaker: I didn't think that the moment had actually affected me so much, but it really did because afterwards what happened was this internalization, this subconscious crumbling of my business where I leaned so far out.

Speaker: And I was like, you know what?

Speaker: I've just done this whole rebrand.

Speaker: I deserve a break.

Speaker: I deserve this.

Speaker: I deserve that.

Speaker: And I leaned so far out and went so hands off on my business that by the time I got back in, it was trying to build from a state of desperation, trying to build from a state of graspiness and trying to hook into customers and numbers and getting back to

Speaker: where that level was.

Speaker: And I haven't reached that level since.

Speaker: I've barely even reached half of that level since, which I am realizing now one of the most beautiful lessons from that is that, first of all, my business needed to crumble in order to learn this lesson.

Speaker: And it was very much, you know, something that we see in this online space, which is kind of what we're going to talk about is this chasing this, you know, constant evolution of like, okay, well, one month you hit 10K, then you got to hit 20, then you got to hit 30 and 50 and 100 months.

Speaker: And like, yes, that is all possible.

Speaker: And yes, it's absolutely okay to want those things.

Speaker: but not at any sacrifice.

Speaker: not at the sacrifice of your own mental wellbeing, not at the sacrifice of your nervous system, not at the sacrifice of your clients, not at the sacrifice of any bullshit marketing, which is what we're going to get into.

Speaker: None of that.

Speaker: It has to be done from pure service, pure alignment.

Speaker: And that's where I realized that this was almost twofold.

Speaker: One, I wasn't doing anything from a space of service anymore.

Speaker: So no wonder people weren't

Speaker: attracted to what I had to offer.

Speaker: And two, I didn't think I was worthy of it because that moment with my friend triggered so much from my childhood of unworthiness, of being liked, of, you know, being bullied as a kid.

Speaker: And it was just this floodgate opening around

Speaker: man, all of this shit that I thought that I had healed and realized I very much hadn't.

Speaker: And the most beautiful lesson that came out of that was the idea that no dollar amount will ever

Speaker: indicate my worthiness.

Speaker: No amount of followers on Instagram will ever dictate my worthiness.

Speaker: I get to choose that.

Speaker: And it was a very hard year and a half lesson that I had to go through, but I am finally at this level now where I have integrated and realized like, no, I'm

Speaker: I get to decide my power.

Speaker: I get to show up in my bigness.

Speaker: I get to show up in my truth.

Speaker: And anyone who I don't align with, anyone who doesn't align with me or my messaging, knowing that I'm showing up from a pure heart, from a space of service, from wanting to help heal the world, if that ain't for you, I'm okay with it.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: No, and you know, I love that you said that, like, first of all, like, I'm so sorry that you experienced that.

Speaker: And I'm also happy that you got to experience that because look at what you're doing now.

Speaker: Like, look at where you are now, right?

Speaker: Like, between like, you know, the Healy, between your coaching, between the retreats, like you've diversified.

Speaker: your income literally diversified your income.

Speaker: But you've also I feel like, I feel like you've leaned back, but you're standing so powerfully.

Speaker: That's the energy that I get now.

Speaker: Thank you.

Speaker: And I just showing up in your fullest, you know, you genuinely do show up in your fullest, right?

Speaker: It's not about

Speaker: How many times you show up.

Speaker: Yes, I am a content.

Speaker: I don't even want to call myself a content agency.

Speaker: We're a creative brand house.

Speaker: And I am telling you, you do not need to be posting every freaking day or at blank time and blank, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker: And by the way, it's a good thing if you give your stories a break.

Speaker: You heard it from me.

Speaker: So like, God, it just drives me nuts because we set these

Speaker: What are expectations on ourselves?

Speaker: Unrealistic expectations.

Speaker: Unrealistic.

Speaker: Until maybe like two weeks, no, three weeks ago or so, like I was on almost 20 hours a day in my business.

Speaker: I would say until about a month ago.

Speaker: When it got to a point where I was like, oh, I'm like, I can't do this.

Speaker: Like, isn't this why the first thing crashed and burned in the first place?

Speaker: Like, why?

Speaker: Because exactly what you were saying, no offense to people who this was exactly what went through my brain when you were talking about that.

Speaker: No offense to anyone in the corporate world.

Speaker: But if you are an entrepreneur, no one will ever understand that your business runs like 48-7 in your brain.

Speaker: There is no shut off.

Speaker: There's no time off.

Speaker: There is nothing.

Speaker: It's like, even if it's still, you are like out and you're with your family and it takes training to be able to disconnect completely from your business and just be so

Speaker: fully present in what it is that you're doing.

Speaker: Oh, for sure.

Speaker: Like I personally, like I don't believe in balance.

Speaker: Like I've always been an all or nothing personality.

Speaker: And no, here's the thing I believe in, you have seasons where, you know, maybe your business requires more from you and that's okay.

Speaker: You know, and when you have those seasons, I've also learned, let's just not say yes to every shiny object under the sun.

Speaker: focus on the things that you're a master at, focus on your mastery, right, whatever it is.

Speaker: And yeah, you'll have a busy season.

Speaker: And that's okay.

Speaker: You know, you because you probably prayed for that at some point in time.

Speaker: And then there's seasons when you're supposed to actually lean back and let the things that you planted grow and bloom, right?

Speaker: So it's a dance.

Speaker: And I think I believe in like, you know, your, I don't even want to say priorities, I feel like it's we lose ourselves in

Speaker: We let our work define us.

Speaker: We let our business define us.

Speaker: No, I get it.

Speaker: Our businesses and brands are an extension of us, but they are not us.

Speaker: That is a separate freaking entity from you.

Speaker: They're not who we are.

Speaker: Your business can still make money even if you're having time off.

Speaker: And the way you do this is by having that support, is by investing in systems and stuff.

Speaker: We were literally just talking about this, right?

Speaker: No, I want to bring it back to like the mentorship and the coaching space and like the integrity and the marketing of all of this stuff.

Speaker: I'm not going to lie, like 2020 all the way through, like until last year, I was just like, yep, I'm going to buy this and I'm going to invest in this person and that person and that course and that class.

Speaker: It's an addiction.

Speaker: It starts to become an addiction.

Speaker: And I could feel that frequency in me.

Speaker: And I was like, oh, I'm like, I don't like this.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: Like at what point do you stop and allow it to settle so you can integrate?

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: I mean, when I were talking about this beforehand, I was very much in a season in 2021, having made this incredible month and, you know, consistent five figure months, like consistent five figure months, and then having a multi five figure month.

Speaker: And then, you know, saying yes to big ticket things because I had no awareness around, oh, well, this isn't ever going to go away.

Speaker: And when it did, it stretched me so thin.

Speaker: And it was a big challenge for me.

Speaker: And to the point where I completely went into a state of trauma response in my nervous system, that whole lean out was also like a freeze response from a trauma standpoint.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And then it just got worse and worse as money wasn't coming in.

Speaker: And I still had really big payments to mentors because I'm like, well, this is what you do.

Speaker: You naturally evolve.

Speaker: You naturally start spending more money to work with these higher ticket coaches.

Speaker: And, you know, I had so much pride that I didn't say anything to my mentor around,

Speaker: Because I let it grow on my visa rather than say, listen, you know, I need a month to breathe or I have, could we maybe split this out a little bit longer?

Speaker: And God bless the person that I invested in.

Speaker: She, um,

Speaker: Well, she says this now, but it's just, and I love that she says it now because it's someone I admire and respect so much.

Speaker: And I still do, despite the fact that, you know, that investment was just too much for me and I didn't see it at the time.

Speaker: But she always says, you know, if it comes down to putting food on your table and paying me, like you better be coming to have a conversation with me.

Speaker: And that is something that not a lot of fucking mentors are doing right now.

Speaker: And it is driving me crazy because on the outside, you see these mentors as all love and light and spiritual goddesses and having these, you know, super high income months.

Speaker: Yet as Tanya discovered on the back end,

Speaker: You know, there are some really nasty, vicious people who are so incredibly out of alignment with what it is that they preach and they show up in the online space as.

Speaker: And this is something that absolutely needs to be addressed and why we wanted to have this conversation.

Speaker: Yeah, for sure.

Speaker: Like, I'll be the first to tell you, like, if it wasn't for my mentors giving me grace, if it wasn't for my team, I

Speaker: giving me grace, you know, service providers, like we're the ones that actually carry your beautiful coaching business.

Speaker: And we make the things happen and the designs and the copy.

Speaker: And I just have to come out and say it because it blows my mind to this day that people have no problem selling their liver and kidney and whatever the heck you need to do to invest in a coach.

Speaker: But

Speaker: hire a team member even if it's part-time consistent hire I don't know just go to a branding person if you actually want you know that whole emoji or the meme of like I want this and it's like this beautiful stately like stallion or whatever that's carved yeah you take it to like another person and it's like oh it's like a little pencil squiggly whatever like that's so here's the thing

Speaker: I believe in mentorship.

Speaker: I believe in coaching and I believe in having support.

Speaker: But it's like asking yourself, what kind of support do you need at each respective season in your life?

Speaker: You know, like I don't think I'll ever be without mentorship.

Speaker: And the reason is it's like it might not have to be a one on one mentor.

Speaker: It could just be being a part of someone's, I don't know, membership that I deeply whose content I deeply enjoy.

Speaker: Great.

Speaker: That works for me, you know.

Speaker: Did I need three mentors in the last year?

Speaker: Heck no.

Speaker: But you better believe those were done with intention, you know?

Speaker: And still out of one of them, like one of them, you know, I have no regrets.

Speaker: And I also know that I purchased that in FOMO.

Speaker: And I claim a possibility for that.

Speaker: That's a big thing, too, because I think that the...

Speaker: As we're talking about mentors not being in integrity, I think it's really important to also talk about the integrity piece from a client standpoint.

Speaker: Because as coaches, we've been on both sides of the coin.

Speaker: And it's, I am someone who is a service provider, and I also expect services from other people from my mentorship.

Speaker: And there have been moments where I have absolutely invested in FOMO or in a state of, oh, well, I need to invest because this person is going to teach me how to make X amount of money.

Speaker: And that is never a guarantee.

Speaker: And if someone is selling you on that, you need to run.

Speaker: Because I cannot tell you how many clients have come to me having buyer's remorse because someone's marketing has said, I'm a seven-figure coach and I'm going to show you how.

Speaker: And then they get inside the program and it's, you have to do it this way.

Speaker: This is the proven method and it's X, Y, Z step.

Speaker: But that doesn't align with who that person is.

Speaker: And so it's really, really, really important, especially if you are making this poor client of mine made a five figure investment in like a three or four month program where she said the leader made her cry twice.

Speaker: And I'm like, what?

Speaker: In front of a large group of people on a webinar.

Speaker: It wasn't just her.

Speaker: It was many people live.

Speaker: And that to me is just such poor leadership.

Speaker: And if someone comes to you and is questioning the way that you do things, my first thing is like, well,

Speaker: You don't have to do it like me.

Speaker: This is the beautiful part.

Speaker: But let me help you find a way that suits you.

Speaker: I'm never going to tell you that my way is the highway or my, you know, my way or the highway kind of thing.

Speaker: Like, absolutely not.

Speaker: When people come into my container, we are always working in a co-collaborative effort of like, okay, if this strategy does not feel good to you, what does, what excites you rather than you have to do it this way?

Speaker: I cannot believe that there are people out there still coaching this way.

Speaker: Oh, there are.

Speaker: You better believe it.

Speaker: And you know, it's, here's the thing, right?

Speaker: It's like, did I use

Speaker: all three of my mentors, like, did I lean on all three of my mentors heavily?

Speaker: No.

Speaker: I leaned on the two that most resonated with me because their heart, like, and just, you know, it was a co-creative process.

Speaker: It wasn't a cookie cutter thing, you know?

Speaker: And it's like, they each had a different purpose, you know?

Speaker: Even the one that I didn't lean on heavily.

Speaker: And like, she would ask me like, hey, I'm here for you.

Speaker: And I'm like, I love you and I appreciate you.

Speaker: And I'm like, I am the type of person like I like I'm self led.

Speaker: I'll go figure it out.

Speaker: And if I can't.

Speaker: Yes, that's why I've invested in you.

Speaker: I'm going to come ask you or I'm going to, you know, like riff with you.

Speaker: But otherwise, I didn't even use my one on one calls with like some of the other two mentors.

Speaker: I did it.

Speaker: I know.

Speaker: I know, because as like, I was just so busy in my work.

Speaker: And so it's like, they'd remind me, hey, we didn't do a call.

Speaker: I'm like, that's okay.

Speaker: I'm like, I think we move mountains and like this boxer.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I'm like, I don't really need a call.

Speaker: I love you.

Speaker: And I'd love to see your face.

Speaker: That's not needed.

Speaker: Like, it's great.

Speaker: So I learned a lot about myself.

Speaker: And how I love to be coached or mentored.

Speaker: And I was like, I don't really need a call.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And that's great.

Speaker: And I wouldn't have discovered that had I not made those investments, right?

Speaker: Because you think you need to have it structured a certain way.

Speaker: But this is the other thing too.

Speaker: And what you mentioned so perfectly is being self-led.

Speaker: Do not make an investment in

Speaker: And expect the person to hold your hand and like, you know, the accountability piece is there.

Speaker: Absolutely.

Speaker: But a coach is not going to do everything for you.

Speaker: You have to be able to show up in the container, get the advice, and then on your own, or the advice, the coaching, the support, and

Speaker: And then have, you know, in my sessions now, what I've realized is like this beautiful balance of healing as well as tangible.

Speaker: So it's like, you know, before I used to be all tangible, it used to just be talking and, you know, doing a few modalities and whatever.

Speaker: But now it's like starting the call with grounding.

Speaker: It's starting the call with like, okay, let's get into the body.

Speaker: Let's see like what is coming up inside.

Speaker: And then on the other side of that,

Speaker: It's actually this beautiful process because it allows for this space and expansion to open up for you to see something that might not have been there before, something you might not have accessed, or to allow space for things to channel through, to drop in, which is really beautiful as well.

Speaker: But then I give you the tangible pieces of like, okay, what are we working on?

Speaker: What do you need from me in like an action step kind of form?

Speaker: We go, we put that into writing and it's like, okay, the next call, let's review.

Speaker: Exactly.

Speaker: And if you haven't done the work, then there's not a lot that I can help you with.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: And, you know, I'd say the same goes for like, when I say service providers, for anyone listening, I'm talking about like,

Speaker: done-for-you service providers, like it's its own industry beast in its own way, right?

Speaker: And I often feel like there's this rift, if you will, in the online space between mentors and coaches versus done-for-you providers.

Speaker: And I feel like

Speaker: I fall somewhere in between.

Speaker: Like I'm a hybrid.

Speaker: I'm a fucking triple threat.

Speaker: Like I just told my business, you know, mentor, like we're kind of mentoring each other, but she was like, talk to me.

Speaker: Why do you think you're a triple threat?

Speaker: Like you need to go say this out live.

Speaker: And I'm like, I would never say this out live.

Speaker: And she's like, no, you need to like, why?

Speaker: And I'm like, well, because

Speaker: you don't just get the energetics with me.

Speaker: You don't just get the strategy with me.

Speaker: Like you also get a deep understanding of like how to freaking simplify, but amplify your impact.

Speaker: Like you simplify your systems, less is more, like literally less is freaking more.

Speaker: And then you amplify that and you need to be able to have a team that can hold that level.

Speaker: And like, I'm thinking like stallion or like jaguar mode.

Speaker: Like you got like, you know, you got a permit and you can't go like,

Speaker: clunky car like right stopping every few minutes which is what i see from the service provider done for you lens happening people switch out their teams like they are freaking changing socks or like underwear or whatever and i'm like you know like you gotta give people at least a three to six month acclimatization

Speaker: I tell this to my team all the time because I have been working with my graphic designer.

Speaker: I hire her piecemeal kind of stuff, right?

Speaker: But I have been working with her.

Speaker: She knows my brand vision because she created it.

Speaker: I've been working with her since 2019.

Speaker: And I've been working with, well, end of 2019.

Speaker: And I've been working with my VA since the beginning of 2019.

Speaker: So these two people know me inside and out.

Speaker: And I don't believe like their prices have grown and expanded.

Speaker: And it's like, I don't ever want you to leave me.

Speaker: So it's like in the moments where we may have to take pauses or we might have to, you know, reshift things.

Speaker: Like when I went through this like low in my business this past year, I still never intend on letting them go.

Speaker: And we see this too in the coaching space, people who just coach hop all the time.

Speaker: And there's so much power in

Speaker: in staying finding your people and then actually longevity right commitment yeah like I like one of my clients you know I love her to pieces like and she's an integral like she's been an integral part of like my journey in business like

Speaker: I was her brain and her voice for like four years.

Speaker: Like I was the part of that company in a way.

Speaker: And it's, you know, I still have people messaging me, asking me like, how are you doing?

Speaker: Like, oh, like sharing the impact.

Speaker: Like we don't realize this, right?

Speaker: I have clients, like it's, you grow with your clients.

Speaker: It takes time to establish cadence.

Speaker: And on the flip side of that,

Speaker: it doesn't matter how long you've been with a coach or how long you've been with a done for you service provider.

Speaker: If you yourself as the CEO, because not everyone wants to wear the CEO hat, people think being a CEO is wearing the beautiful brimmed hats and like, you know, showing up with like your candles and your coffee and like, hello.

Speaker: And like,

Speaker: No, that is not that that's, that's like your day to day, like adornments, like whatever, great.

Speaker: Being a CEO is having the tough conversations, being a CEO is making tough decisions, being a CEO is understanding, when do you push forward?

Speaker: When do you lean back?

Speaker: When do you just kind of observe and watch?

Speaker: And if you don't know who you are, if you don't have any idea of

Speaker: your own brand energy, your own essence, what you stand for, what you stand for.

Speaker: And if you're trying to mimic your mentors, business model, or the way they're launching or the way they're branding, oh, like make it fluid, like so and so, or make it

Speaker: la la la like so and so does it and i'm like that's great but that's not your energy like your energetic signature is different and it's you and it's beautiful like why not tap into that unless you you we you know as leaders have our own self-led frequency lead the way uh-huh

Speaker: It doesn't matter who we hire as our mentor or our team member.

Speaker: It's never going to work.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: And I say this because of experience, because one of my clients, the one that I shared a brain with for the longest time, it wasn't us.

Speaker: It wasn't people.

Speaker: It was her.

Speaker: They did not know what they wanted in their brand.

Speaker: And then the moment they hired another, I'm like, you know what?

Speaker: Go hire an outside provider.

Speaker: I'm like, we're all way too close to the brand.

Speaker: Go hire someone else to tell you exactly what I've been telling you.

Speaker: All these years.

Speaker: And they did.

Speaker: And now they stuck with it.

Speaker: And now they're like, okay, great.

Speaker: There's consistency there.

Speaker: Right.

Speaker: But you got to stick with things.

Speaker: You can't, you know, and if you feel like the energetic fit's not there, of course, don't just stick with that.

Speaker: Like release it.

Speaker: Bless and release.

Speaker: Nobody's a bad person.

Speaker: But you got to give yourself an honest try.

Speaker: Yeah, no, I absolutely agree.

Speaker: And that was actually like, we were having this conversation before around hiring on my brand, like my graphic designer on a more permanent basis, because I'm like, okay, what is that next level for me?

Speaker: It's finally fucking getting a website and to grow into a

Speaker: The CEO, like that space.

Speaker: And it's like, okay, well, I'm trying to do everything myself.

Speaker: I do have a team, but not...

Speaker: I don't have anything to assign to them because I don't have systems in place.

Speaker: I don't have structures in place.

Speaker: So it's very on the fly.

Speaker: Whereas if I get a graphic person and a VA or an OBM type person in my business, getting that website, getting the systems, the structures, and then the artistry,

Speaker: I can then lean back trusting the two of the people that I've had in my business the whole time.

Speaker: And then from there, go back into where I love to be, which is my feminine creative essence, my feminine flow, and let everything channel from there.

Speaker: But when I try to lean in and do all of the masculine, and like, obviously it needs to be done.

Speaker: And yes, I have to have a say in that, but trying to do it all is going to create so much more friction in the long run.

Speaker: And that's where I'm like, yeah, no, this, we need to figure something out.

Speaker: I don't know how.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: I love that you said that because one of the things like I noticed and, you know, I've had a lot of different clients at this point in time.

Speaker: And like, I've always I like to study.

Speaker: Data.

Speaker: I don't like data, but I like to study it.

Speaker: I'm not a, I'm not a, I actually did not even pass my stats course in university.

Speaker: I tried to take it three times.

Speaker: And I'm asking you humbly, please don't take this again.

Speaker: Like, I promise you, like, I'm not going to fail you.

Speaker: Just, just don't take this again.

Speaker: You know, but no, like from a metrics perspective, like I like to just study and ask questions.

Speaker: Okay, why is it working so great with this client, but not this client?

Speaker: Or like, why does creating for so-and-so feel easier than creating for, you know, so-and-so?

Speaker: And like, I like to ask those questions as a creative because it is a co-creative process.

Speaker: It is a collaboration.

Speaker: And one of the things that comes to mind as you were speaking of that, it's like giving yourself the creative freedom.

Speaker: Yes, giving yourself and your team creative freedom, because when you give people creative freedom, what that's translating to on a leadership standpoint is, hey, I fucking trust you.

Speaker: I know why I hired you.

Speaker: I hired you for your expertise.

Speaker: And this could be like whether it's your coach, your mentor or your team member, you know, it doesn't matter who it is.

Speaker: That's what that translates.

Speaker: I trust the reason I hired you, aka I trust myself with my hiring decision or my purchase decision.

Speaker: and go I mean we might have tweaks but go go be in your genius go create and when I've had clients like that which I do now thankfully like it's been fluid effortless like I just poured out the branding for one of my clients's new programs it poured out I mean like 15 minutes today I love that I

Speaker: And that's a big thing that you just said.

Speaker: It's trust in self.

Speaker: And that leads back to like, I think it plays into so much of what we were talking about is that you have to have so much trust in yourself when it comes to your team, when it comes to who you hire, when it comes to like

Speaker: even how you show up online.

Speaker: I think all of that is just so important.

Speaker: And the trust in self gets built through the healing work, right?

Speaker: Through the giving yourself time to sit with yourself, whether that be meditation, breath work, whatever your modality of choice journaling is, but it comes down to

Speaker: building a beautiful relationship with yourself so that your higher self can come through and so that you can trust the difference differentiation between what your higher self is and what your ego is.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: Because I think that's where so much comes through.

Speaker: And like, even what we were talking about in the challenges within the coaching space, a lot of that is ego.

Speaker: A lot of it is, you know, people being butthurt by wanting a lot of peacocks in the coaching space is what I will say.

Speaker: Okay.

Speaker: And there's a lot and I love peacocks.

Speaker: They're very majestic, but there's a lot of peacocks just strutting about and cackling and cawing and whatever the heck it is.

Speaker: No, go be an eagle.

Speaker: Go fly.

Speaker: Go be in your own lane.

Speaker: Like freaking go fly.

Speaker: Bird's eye view.

Speaker: Right?

Speaker: Go be the wolf.

Speaker: Go be the eagle.

Speaker: Go be the jaguar.

Speaker: Like I'm not saying be silent about your impact, but be freaking self-led in your expression.

Speaker: Be self-led in with your body.

Speaker: Like your body will never lie to you.

Speaker: Your body knows.

Speaker: But you have to have a good relationship built with it.

Speaker: 100%.

Speaker: You know, and if you don't, then hire someone that's going to help you cultivate that.

Speaker: Like I only started my body using journey two years ago.

Speaker: Yeah.

Speaker: You got to remove all the layers of bullshit, all of the conditioning that's been placed on you.

Speaker: And we're not just talking about your physical body.

Speaker: It is your energetic body.

Speaker: It is your body that gives you cues, right?

Speaker: Your gut is your second brain.

Speaker: It knows the way to lead you, even if it makes absolute zero sense logically.

Speaker: Yep.

Speaker: You know, and it's a perfect note to like end here because it's, you know, as you know, there's always going to be noise around us.

Speaker: There's always noise.

Speaker: There's always chaos.

Speaker: There's always something or the other happening.

Speaker: And it's like asking yourself, do I want to tune into this?

Speaker: Like, where do I, what do I want to give my frequency?

Speaker: What's going to amplify my energy, right?

Speaker: And it's like, allow that to lead you and inform you of your own energetic cadence and frequency.

Speaker: And as long as you tune into that, everything else, it's just empty noise.

Speaker: right like lead in your mastery so invitations for journal questions reflection like as you go into like 2023 it's like asking yourself what do you want like how do you really want to be impacting people what do you want to be known for and who do you want to be amidst all of this

Speaker: right because it's like every who you be i love that casey baller came out of me no i love it she talks about that i'm like oh that's it's just it's a vibe that's like the energy yeah i love you so much i love you so much thank you so much for this conversation i'm so glad that we both got to like

Speaker: lead it and to be able to serve both of our audiences.

Speaker: And if you're not following Tanya, go follow her and come and hang out on the Quantum Creatrix podcast, like all of the things.

Speaker: I'm so excited.

Speaker: Everything will be in the show notes, all the details, all the things.

Speaker: We love you and we hope you have an amazing holiday season.

Speaker: Thank you so much for tuning in and allowing us to inspire and infuse life and creativity into you.

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