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EP. 7 Eight Legged Freaks
37 Plays1 year ago
Charlotte and Lance have sent our teens out to their hideout in the movie theatre. Whats that???? GIANT SPIDER!!!! How will our teens make it out of this.
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This show may contain explicit content. Listeners be advised.
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Published by arrangement with the Delta Green Partnership. The intellectual property known as Delta Green is a trademark and copyright owned by the Delta Green Partnership, who has licensed its use here. The contents of this document are Copywrited to Let's Play Pretend, excepting those elements that are components of the Delta Green intellectual property.
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Transcript
Introduction and Content Warnings
00:00:00
Speaker
Let's Play Pretend is an explicit podcast with subject matter that may be disturbing to some listeners.
00:00:06
Speaker
Content warnings are found in the description of every episode.
00:00:09
Speaker
We here at Let's Play Pretend take mental health very seriously.
00:00:12
Speaker
If you or someone that you know is suffering from any mental health issues, please...
00:00:17
Speaker
reach out.
00:00:19
Speaker
It's as simple as picking up your telephone and dialing 988 to reach a suicide prevention hotline.
00:00:25
Speaker
Or if you're the kind of person like me that does not like to talk on the phone, text 988.
00:00:31
Speaker
There is somebody there 24 seven.
00:00:34
Speaker
And if you don't want to reach out to a stranger, you have friends and family that are always there for you.
00:00:39
Speaker
Please, if you are suffering from any of these, reach out.
00:00:43
Speaker
You matter.
00:00:44
Speaker
Cody's laughing, so it's good.
00:00:52
Speaker
Let's play pretend.
00:00:53
Speaker
Let's play pretend.
Podcast Introduction & Themes
00:01:15
Speaker
Hello everybody and welcome back to Let's Play Pretend, the horror podcast that does some TTRPG things and does some other crazy things and has spiders and things.
00:01:28
Speaker
I am Jordan Derringer.
00:01:30
Speaker
I am your GM, DM, handler, keeper, and host, and apparently I'm not allowed to comment on that anymore.
00:01:36
Speaker
But with me at... What did you just say to me?
00:01:46
Speaker
I said, no, you're not allowed to come and tell it anymore because the pregnant wife says so.
00:01:51
Speaker
Wow.
00:01:51
Speaker
Did you guys hear that?
00:01:53
Speaker
I was on a roll.
00:01:54
Speaker
I was I was good.
00:01:56
Speaker
I was on a roll.
00:01:57
Speaker
And then she just shut me down.
00:01:59
Speaker
It's the immediate derailment.
00:02:05
Speaker
To be fair, when you started talking about spiders, I had to hold myself back from saying, fuck your spiders.
00:02:11
Speaker
That's fair.
00:02:12
Speaker
I know, not everyone's going to like them, but you know what people don't like more than spiders?
00:02:17
Speaker
And that would be strangers in a world that you have known nothing about.
00:02:20
Speaker
Isn't that right, Ned?
Humor and Fun Facts Exchange
00:02:24
Speaker
Uh, uh, business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many people a company can operate without.
00:02:31
Speaker
Bless you.
00:02:34
Speaker
You used to have a smart stroke?
00:02:39
Speaker
A smart stroke?
00:02:40
Speaker
What the fuck?
00:02:41
Speaker
I don't think I'm going to let Nick go first anymore.
00:02:45
Speaker
It's too late.
00:02:45
Speaker
You already started it.
00:02:47
Speaker
I'm not Nick.
00:02:47
Speaker
I'm Ned.
00:02:49
Speaker
You're absolutely right.
00:02:53
Speaker
Also with me, I'm trying to come up with something witty for Ryan.
00:02:59
Speaker
But, you know...
00:03:01
Speaker
Well, the thing is, I'm having a I'm having a what what should I feel like a critical failure on my alertness on what I could say to Ryan.
00:03:12
Speaker
Isn't that right, Ryan?
00:03:15
Speaker
Did you know that bees communicate by dancing, which means they can dance maps to other bees for flowers?
00:03:22
Speaker
Dance maps, dude, that means the bees have better maps than you guys have.
00:03:28
Speaker
Correct.
00:03:29
Speaker
Because I still haven't made a map.
00:03:31
Speaker
That was cruel.
00:03:33
Speaker
But it's fair.
00:03:35
Speaker
I don't know if the word got this.
00:03:37
Speaker
He said it to himself.
00:03:40
Speaker
He did it to himself.
00:03:41
Speaker
I didn't even think of that.
00:03:43
Speaker
It was just the first random fact that came to mind.
00:03:46
Speaker
It was a good random fact.
00:03:50
Speaker
Man, isn't it a good thing that those monsters weren't actually your parents, Arthur?
00:03:56
Speaker
Yeah, no need for therapy now.
00:04:01
Speaker
I mean, you might still need therapy.
00:04:03
Speaker
Yeah, there's also I wanted to comment on the spider comet.
Discussion on Fears: Spiders vs Strangers
00:04:08
Speaker
Spiders are still worse than strangers because strangers might have candy.
00:04:13
Speaker
That's very true.
00:04:14
Speaker
Strangers might have candy.
00:04:16
Speaker
Side eye.
00:04:19
Speaker
That's a great idea.
00:04:20
Speaker
It's a great.
00:04:21
Speaker
Six.
00:04:22
Speaker
Bombastic side eye.
00:04:25
Speaker
Don't you fucking meme to call me Mr. Bombasty.
00:04:31
Speaker
And then, of course, we have with us Samantha, who is the only one to see the giant spider staring down at you all.
00:04:44
Speaker
Did you know the hundred folds in a chef's hat represent the hundred ways to cook an egg?
00:04:50
Speaker
Hey, we're not doing good facts here.
00:04:53
Speaker
We're only doing weird facts.
00:04:54
Speaker
That was a good one.
00:04:55
Speaker
The more you know.
00:04:56
Speaker
Hey, hey, now, you're good.
00:04:57
Speaker
But Breck had a very good fact about the bees and the maps and the flowers.
00:05:04
Speaker
I totally forgot.
00:05:05
Speaker
OK.
00:05:07
Speaker
Wait, I'm more than like six ways.
00:05:11
Speaker
Apparently, I didn't know there were 100 folds in a chef's hat.
World Building: Naming 'The In-Between'
00:05:14
Speaker
So, I mean, that's what I'm saying.
00:05:16
Speaker
I actually learned something.
00:05:18
Speaker
Yeah, this is all news to me.
00:05:20
Speaker
Screw the hat.
00:05:20
Speaker
The eggs, man, like.
00:05:24
Speaker
Last time I said that I was going to come up with a name for the world that we're in.
00:05:32
Speaker
We can't use the upside down because that's from Stranger Things.
00:05:35
Speaker
We can't use... What was the other one we said?
00:05:39
Speaker
The Fuckening.
00:05:39
Speaker
The Fuckening.
00:05:41
Speaker
Yeah, that sounds accurate.
00:05:44
Speaker
There was another one we weren't able to use because it was from something else.
00:05:48
Speaker
So I came up with The In-Between.
00:05:53
Speaker
like the mayonnaise of a sandwich if you make shitty sandwiches well I don't use mayonnaise but it is in between hey don't kiss my mayonnaise I hate mayonnaise but yeah the in between what do you think I like it it works until Jordan decides to completely change how we see the world and then we'll have to figure something else out does that sound like something I would do
00:06:24
Speaker
100%.
00:06:25
Speaker
Yeah.
00:06:26
Speaker
Oh.
00:06:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:06:27
Speaker
Also, I was all set here ready to spit off like a fun fact about Samantha.
00:06:35
Speaker
And then you all started spitting off random ass facts.
00:06:37
Speaker
So I literally quickly Googled a fun fact.
00:06:40
Speaker
Oh, you mean like how it's illegal to own just one guinea pig in Switzerland?
00:06:46
Speaker
What?
00:06:48
Speaker
It's considered animal abuse because they're social beings and get lonely.
00:06:54
Speaker
What?
00:06:55
Speaker
That's sweet.
00:06:56
Speaker
Well, that's an episode.
00:06:57
Speaker
You guys have a good week.
00:06:59
Speaker
But a good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
00:07:05
Speaker
Or when you're being stared at by a giant spider.
00:07:09
Speaker
I don't see that, so I ain't too concerned.
00:07:12
Speaker
That's very true.
00:07:13
Speaker
That's very true.
00:07:14
Speaker
So let's do a quick recap.
00:07:17
Speaker
So in the last session, you guys really didn't make it all too far, but that's because there was a lot of lore dump on you.
00:07:23
Speaker
So you're making fun of us, God?
00:07:26
Speaker
Yeah, a little bit.
00:07:27
Speaker
A little bit.
00:07:29
Speaker
You were stopped in your tracks by Frank, who summoned Darlene and Carl to his side to kind of pin you guys into the garage.
00:07:40
Speaker
And all of a sudden, when all hope seemed lost...
00:07:45
Speaker
A little black and blue cylinder rolled between Carl's legs into the garage, which sent off a bright light as the flash grenade exploded.
00:07:55
Speaker
Ryan was the only one to be able to protect himself from it, so he saw the people enter the garage, helped them get you guys all out of there and out into the surrounding woods.
00:08:09
Speaker
The two introduced themselves as Lance and Charlotte, who were a husband and wife who have been here since the 1920s, right after World War I. They kind of talked to you guys like you knew what you were going through, not the fact that you guys had only been here for a couple hours.
Encounter with the Unique World
00:08:30
Speaker
Talking about things like the Grinners and the Fangies and the Nest and about how the...
00:08:37
Speaker
world the town that you are in is kind of just like a floating rock in the sea of red and how it doesn't seem like nighttime ever goes away in this place they told you that they have a safe house across town which is in the movie theater i'd use my brain there for a second crazy thing to you do as a gm i know
00:08:58
Speaker
It's across town in the movie theater.
00:09:00
Speaker
They gave you a key to the place, told you to get there, said that they had to go to the nest and that they would explain things more when they got what they needed.
00:09:08
Speaker
You guys had a quick deliberation to see if you were going to go actually go where they wanted you to go to the movie theater.
00:09:16
Speaker
It was not that quick.
00:09:19
Speaker
No, the deliberation was pretty quick.
00:09:21
Speaker
The deliberation was pretty quick because Ned said, hey, we can also go to my house.
00:09:26
Speaker
And everyone's like, fuck that.
00:09:27
Speaker
We're going to the safe house.
00:09:30
Speaker
So that was pretty quick.
00:09:32
Speaker
You guys decided that you were going to go to the safe house at the movie theater.
00:09:36
Speaker
And as you got into town...
Spider Encounter and Combat
00:09:39
Speaker
You all failed, except for Samantha.
00:09:42
Speaker
You all failed an alertness check.
00:09:44
Speaker
Samantha was able to look up and see a giant spider looking down at you guys.
00:09:50
Speaker
And that is where we're going to pick up now.
00:09:54
Speaker
Now, Ryan, you crit failed your alertness.
00:10:01
Speaker
Unfortunately.
00:10:03
Speaker
So the first thing I'm going to have you do is I am going to just tell you that you are restricted and cannot move.
00:10:13
Speaker
As you walk face first, because you're busy looking down at the street or what have you, you walk face first into a web.
00:10:21
Speaker
You are stuck.
00:10:22
Speaker
You cannot move.
00:10:24
Speaker
He doesn't notice it because he's humming to himself.
00:10:26
Speaker
Let's all go to the lobby.
00:10:28
Speaker
That really old commercial.
00:10:31
Speaker
That's fair.
00:10:31
Speaker
From the movie theaters.
00:10:32
Speaker
Going to the movies, yeah.
00:10:34
Speaker
The thing that they would play in, like, an intermission.
00:10:36
Speaker
I get that.
00:10:36
Speaker
That's good.
00:10:37
Speaker
I like that.
00:10:38
Speaker
First thing to pop into my mind.
00:10:41
Speaker
So, Samantha, since you were the only one to have seen the giant spider, I need you to roll me a sanity.
00:10:47
Speaker
Now, here's what's going to happen.
00:10:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:51
Speaker
If you pass or if you fail, you're going to fail.
00:10:55
Speaker
Because this is one of your fears.
00:10:57
Speaker
Okay.
00:10:58
Speaker
The only way that you can not take sanity damage from this is if you crit succeed.
00:11:03
Speaker
And what is a crit success?
00:11:07
Speaker
A hundred?
00:11:08
Speaker
A crit success is a one or anything under your sanity that is a double.
00:11:15
Speaker
So an 11, a 22, 33, so on and so forth.
00:11:15
Speaker
Here's my...
00:11:20
Speaker
You also said a nat 2 would be a crit.
00:11:22
Speaker
Yes.
00:11:22
Speaker
Yep.
00:11:22
Speaker
I did say criticals are 1, 2, 99, and 100, and then all the doubles, which 99 is already a crit.
00:11:29
Speaker
So what about 69?
00:11:31
Speaker
I don't know if I'm going to make that a house rule or not.
00:11:34
Speaker
I haven't decided.
00:11:34
Speaker
No one's rolled one yet.
00:11:37
Speaker
All right, dice.
00:11:39
Speaker
Don't fail me now.
00:11:43
Speaker
Sounds like they failed you.
00:11:45
Speaker
Terribly.
00:11:45
Speaker
Yeah.
00:11:47
Speaker
It's a 43.
00:11:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:11:51
Speaker
That is not a critical.
00:11:52
Speaker
So that is, is that over or under your sanity?
00:11:56
Speaker
It's a 43 out of 71.
00:11:58
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:00
Speaker
So normally that would be a success.
00:12:02
Speaker
So it's going to be a normal fail, not a crit fail.
00:12:04
Speaker
So you're going to lose one.
00:12:06
Speaker
But since it is one of your fears that you told me about in episode zero, we're going to play a fun little game.
00:12:14
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:15
Speaker
It's called fight, flight, or faint.
00:12:19
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:21
Speaker
I hate this game.
00:12:24
Speaker
Oh, I know.
00:12:25
Speaker
So I need you to list me what Samantha would do upon seeing this giant minivan-sized spider staring down at her.
00:12:34
Speaker
She'd absolutely freeze and shit her pants.
00:12:39
Speaker
Accurate.
00:12:40
Speaker
Okay, that does not do fight, flight, or faint, so I need you to pick one of those three.
00:12:47
Speaker
Okay.
00:12:48
Speaker
She chose shit.
00:12:50
Speaker
God.
00:12:50
Speaker
She chose her choice.
00:12:53
Speaker
You know what?
00:12:54
Speaker
You know what?
00:12:55
Speaker
Fine.
00:12:57
Speaker
I'll alter it.
00:12:59
Speaker
I will alter it this time because a spider that big, I don't think Samantha would even in the most unlikely of scenarios try and fight it.
00:13:09
Speaker
So I will give you I will give you flight, faint, or freeze.
00:13:18
Speaker
Or shit your pants.
00:13:20
Speaker
Or shit my pants.
00:13:20
Speaker
That comes in all six of them.
Role-Playing Decisions and Strategy
00:13:23
Speaker
You gotta need your pants.
00:13:24
Speaker
Yeah, the pants shitting is happening no matter what.
00:13:27
Speaker
Damn it, Sam.
00:13:28
Speaker
I said there was a port-a-potty back there about half a mile.
00:13:32
Speaker
Sorry, I couldn't hold it.
00:13:36
Speaker
You canonically shit your pants.
00:13:41
Speaker
For the record, I'm not gonna make you canonically shit your pants.
00:13:45
Speaker
So, what are... What's the order?
00:13:48
Speaker
She would freeze, she would fly, she would faint.
00:13:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:13:53
Speaker
One, two, or three, you'll freeze.
00:13:54
Speaker
Four or five, you'll run.
00:13:56
Speaker
Six, you're going to pass the motherfuck out.
00:14:00
Speaker
When am I rolling a d6?
00:14:02
Speaker
Yep, there are six options.
00:14:03
Speaker
That is normally the correct dice to roll.
00:14:05
Speaker
Okay.
00:14:06
Speaker
See, I'm just passing.
00:14:14
Speaker
So you look up and you see the spider staring down at you and it's black and it's hairy and it looks like a giant jumping spider.
00:14:22
Speaker
And you can see from even four stories up, it's beady red eyes staring at you and you just give up the fucking ghost and you run cold and hit the fucking pavement.
00:14:35
Speaker
I need...
00:14:38
Speaker
Well, okay.
00:14:40
Speaker
I need Ned and I need Arthur to roll me an alertness at normal.
00:14:47
Speaker
I need Ryan to roll me an alertness at negative 20.
00:14:50
Speaker
25 on 25.
00:14:50
Speaker
Nice.
00:14:50
Speaker
77 out of 29.
00:14:54
Speaker
Did I get it?
00:14:54
Speaker
Excellent.
00:14:55
Speaker
You didn't notice that...
00:15:09
Speaker
Ryan got stuck.
00:15:10
Speaker
You didn't notice that Samantha fainted and you also walk face first into the spider web.
00:15:16
Speaker
Oh.
00:15:18
Speaker
So you are also restrained and cannot move.
00:15:20
Speaker
So glad I'm here.
00:15:24
Speaker
And Ryan, what'd you roll?
00:15:26
Speaker
I got a 53 on a modified 44.
00:15:29
Speaker
It was a negative 20, right?
00:15:31
Speaker
It was a negative 20, yes.
00:15:32
Speaker
Okay.
00:15:33
Speaker
Because you're kind of dealing with your own shit right now to really worry about what Samantha's doing.
00:15:38
Speaker
Yeah.
00:15:40
Speaker
It was a good run, guys.
00:15:43
Speaker
Okay, so.
00:15:44
Speaker
What the hell are all y'all doing?
00:15:47
Speaker
Sam, Sam.
00:15:49
Speaker
I'm going to go up to Sam and start shaking her.
00:15:51
Speaker
Like, hey, you got to get up.
00:15:52
Speaker
We got to get out of here.
00:15:54
Speaker
Hey, buddy.
00:15:55
Speaker
Buddy, can't move.
00:15:56
Speaker
Can't move.
00:15:56
Speaker
Something's wrong.
00:15:58
Speaker
Yeah, you're awake.
00:15:59
Speaker
She's not.
00:16:00
Speaker
I don't know what the hell happened, but I got to wake her up and then I'll figure you out.
00:16:04
Speaker
Sam, let her wake up.
00:16:04
Speaker
What are we stuck in?
00:16:07
Speaker
Samantha, roll me constitution.
00:16:10
Speaker
What am I rolling?
00:16:11
Speaker
Constitution.
00:16:13
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:16:15
Speaker
Oh, no.
00:16:20
Speaker
Can... Now that I'm stuck in it, can Ryan see what he's stuck in?
00:16:24
Speaker
Or is it still, like... Oh, that's... Basically invisible.
00:16:26
Speaker
Yeah, go ahead.
00:16:27
Speaker
Go ahead, Sam.
00:16:30
Speaker
19 out of 60.
00:16:32
Speaker
Okay, so as Ned is shaking you, you do wake up.
00:16:37
Speaker
Ryan...
00:16:38
Speaker
You would have walked face first into it.
00:16:42
Speaker
So I'm going to say that's going to be a hard one because you're going to be kind of stuck.
00:16:47
Speaker
You can't really.
00:16:48
Speaker
And it's going to be like right in front of your face.
00:16:54
Speaker
You can just say no.
00:16:57
Speaker
But I don't want to take all the fun out of it.
00:17:00
Speaker
So I'm going to say it slow.
00:17:02
Speaker
Yeah.
00:17:03
Speaker
No.
00:17:04
Speaker
No.
00:17:06
Speaker
We're going to go with no.
00:17:07
Speaker
Bucket Arthur?
00:17:08
Speaker
No.
00:17:08
Speaker
Fuck you.
00:17:18
Speaker
So, Ned, we got the hard brat energy.
00:17:20
Speaker
Yeah, you do.
00:17:24
Speaker
Hey, guess what?
00:17:25
Speaker
I'm having brats tomorrow morning at work.
00:17:26
Speaker
Yes.
00:17:27
Speaker
So they're going to get the brat energy tomorrow.
00:17:30
Speaker
God, gross.
00:17:31
Speaker
It sounds so fucking bad.
00:17:33
Speaker
You guys keep saying brat and I keep hearing brat and it's just a whole different scenario.
00:17:38
Speaker
We got rid of our brat energy.
00:17:43
Speaker
We got rid of our brat for the night.
00:17:46
Speaker
Hey, me too.
00:17:46
Speaker
Mine's at my mom's.
00:17:48
Speaker
Perfect.
00:17:48
Speaker
Mine's at my mom's.
00:17:51
Speaker
Fucking twinsies.
00:17:54
Speaker
Oh my God.
00:17:56
Speaker
Mine took Tylenol and passed the fuck out because he's having teething problems.
00:18:00
Speaker
Oh, I am so sorry to hear that.
00:18:02
Speaker
Amen to Tylenol.
00:18:04
Speaker
Yes.
00:18:05
Speaker
Yep.
00:18:06
Speaker
So Ned, you are able to shake Samantha awake.
00:18:10
Speaker
Oh, thank God.
00:18:11
Speaker
Sam, come on.
00:18:13
Speaker
I told you you need to eat something.
00:18:14
Speaker
You got to keep your sugar up, but I'm going to need your help.
00:18:16
Speaker
It looks like Ned and I don't know him and Arthur got themselves stuck in something.
00:18:22
Speaker
She just puts her hand up to his mouth, like one finger over his lips and shushes him.
00:18:31
Speaker
And you can kind of feel her hand is trembling a little bit.
00:18:34
Speaker
And she's not looking at Ned at all.
00:18:37
Speaker
And she's just staring at this gigantic spider.
00:18:40
Speaker
And she goes, Spider, there's a giant fucking spider.
00:18:48
Speaker
Spider's on the third story now.
00:18:52
Speaker
Is it crawling downwards?
00:18:54
Speaker
Yes, it was.
00:18:54
Speaker
It started on the fourth story.
00:18:57
Speaker
I look over at the spider.
00:19:00
Speaker
Oh, oh shit.
00:19:02
Speaker
All right.
00:19:02
Speaker
Let's go.
00:19:02
Speaker
Let's go.
00:19:03
Speaker
Let's go.
00:19:03
Speaker
And I kind of help heave her up to her feet and I run over to start pulling on Ryan and Arthur and get them off of whatever they're stuck on.
00:19:14
Speaker
Okay.
00:19:15
Speaker
Yeah, I'll go over and I'll start.
00:19:17
Speaker
Are they in two separate webs like away from each other or are they next to each other?
00:19:22
Speaker
They're next to each other.
00:19:23
Speaker
And on the other side of... Go ahead.
00:19:26
Speaker
I was just saying Sam goes over, like rushes over to try and help them as well.
00:19:34
Speaker
Okay.
00:19:34
Speaker
Do you guys have any tools or anything that's going to help?
00:19:37
Speaker
I have a pocket knife.
00:19:39
Speaker
That's great.
00:19:40
Speaker
You are stuck to a web, so that's not going to help at all.
00:19:43
Speaker
But they're helping me, motherfucker.
00:19:45
Speaker
Fuck you, God.
00:19:46
Speaker
Arthur, where's my knife?
00:19:48
Speaker
In my pocket.
00:19:50
Speaker
Where the pocket knife lives.
00:19:53
Speaker
All right.
00:19:54
Speaker
I'm going to reach in and I'm going to grab it.
00:19:56
Speaker
Excellent.
00:19:56
Speaker
Roll me a dexterity.
00:19:58
Speaker
I swear to God, if you make me grab something that's not that pocket knife, I'm going to be very upset.
00:20:03
Speaker
That'll be a provocative dexterity check.
00:20:06
Speaker
I am going to make you roll me a dex at negative 20, though, since you still can't see what they're stuck on.
00:20:10
Speaker
It's a 24 out of a modified 45.
00:20:13
Speaker
Okay, you're able to get the pocket knife and not get yourself stuck.
00:20:19
Speaker
Hey, I can't see shit.
00:20:20
Speaker
What the hell is going on, guys?
00:20:21
Speaker
What is this?
00:20:22
Speaker
Sam, here.
00:20:23
Speaker
I'm going to hand Sam the knife.
00:20:25
Speaker
You go ahead and cut out Arthur.
00:20:27
Speaker
I'm going to rip Ryan off of here.
00:20:29
Speaker
I think I can just pull him out.
00:20:32
Speaker
Pull me off.
00:20:32
Speaker
What is going on?
00:20:33
Speaker
What are we on?
00:20:35
Speaker
It's a web.
00:20:36
Speaker
Now shut up.
00:20:36
Speaker
You're on a spider web.
00:20:38
Speaker
What?
00:20:40
Speaker
Our friend is shaking.
00:20:42
Speaker
Like trying to pull himself out.
00:20:44
Speaker
What?
00:20:44
Speaker
What?
00:20:45
Speaker
Sam, would you do the finger to lip thing and shut him up?
00:20:47
Speaker
As Samantha says that it's a spider, you hear a thump as another spider lands on the other side of Ryan and Arthur.
00:20:56
Speaker
I hate you.
00:20:58
Speaker
I hate you.
00:20:59
Speaker
Stop.
00:21:01
Speaker
Stop.
00:21:02
Speaker
I hate you.
00:21:03
Speaker
Stop.
00:21:03
Speaker
No.
00:21:04
Speaker
Oh, God.
00:21:04
Speaker
No.
00:21:05
Speaker
I almost took my headphones off.
00:21:08
Speaker
As you hear that sound, because you're going to edit that sound into the regular one, you see its front two legs lift up.
00:21:17
Speaker
Like it's making that noise at you guys.
00:21:20
Speaker
I just rip Ryan off.
00:21:23
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:23
Speaker
Give me a strength at a negative 40.
00:21:27
Speaker
A negative 40?
00:21:28
Speaker
Ryan will be helping to like when he hears spider, he's going to start like pushing back into Ned trying to like get out of it.
00:21:36
Speaker
Give me a dexterity at a negative 20 to make sure that you don't tangle yourself further into the web.
00:21:40
Speaker
God damn it, Ryan.
00:21:42
Speaker
That was not what I thought you were going to say.
00:21:44
Speaker
Can I also wriggle myself out?
00:21:47
Speaker
You want to try and wriggle out too?
00:21:49
Speaker
Yeah.
00:21:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:21:50
Speaker
Also give me a dex at a negative 20 to make sure you don't get yourself caught further.
00:21:55
Speaker
God damn it.
00:22:00
Speaker
I mean, I totally passed.
00:22:02
Speaker
Yeah, sure you did.
00:22:03
Speaker
78.
00:22:03
Speaker
Oh, God damn it.
00:22:04
Speaker
I would have won if it didn't have the negatives.
00:22:07
Speaker
78 out of 60.
00:22:15
Speaker
I got a 10 on a modified 30.
00:22:18
Speaker
Okay, so 10 on a 30.
00:22:21
Speaker
You are able to help to the point where Ned will only have to roll at a negative 20 now.
00:22:26
Speaker
Arthur, you failed by 18.
00:22:29
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:31
Speaker
You can use 18 luck to make that a success.
00:22:35
Speaker
Yeah.
00:22:38
Speaker
That's what's happening.
00:22:40
Speaker
Okay.
00:22:41
Speaker
So, Samantha, you are using...
00:22:44
Speaker
You're not, or you're using the pocket knife.
00:22:47
Speaker
I'm going to say, give me a melee weapons against the, against the web.
00:22:57
Speaker
And since Arthur is able to kind of worm his way out a little bit, I will let you do that.
00:23:04
Speaker
I'll let you do it at a plus 10.
00:23:05
Speaker
So that would be a 40 instead of a 30.
00:23:09
Speaker
Yeah, unlike just trying to rip him off of it like what Ned's doing, which is still going to require brute strength, he's able to kind of position himself so that way you can get the knife around him.
00:23:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:23:25
Speaker
That's an 18 out of a 40.
00:23:28
Speaker
Perfect.
00:23:30
Speaker
I didn't even have to give you the plus 10.
00:23:31
Speaker
So...
00:23:35
Speaker
After a few seconds of cutting, you are able to find a point in the web where you're basically able to take longer slashes to cut more of the web away.
00:23:44
Speaker
And in just a moment, Arthur is free.
00:23:48
Speaker
Arthur, this is going to do nothing to hinder you except to make it just make your skin crawl a little bit.
00:23:54
Speaker
Just you personally, Matt.
00:23:56
Speaker
You can still feel the part of the web that she wasn't able to cut away clinging to the front of you.
00:24:02
Speaker
I hate you.
00:24:03
Speaker
I love you.
00:24:06
Speaker
Okay, let us resolve Ned and Ryan.
00:24:10
Speaker
Ned, go ahead and give me that roll at a negative 20 instead of a negative 40 for strength.
00:24:13
Speaker
A negative 20 for strength.
00:24:15
Speaker
Okay.
00:24:16
Speaker
Oh, happy days.
00:24:19
Speaker
That is an ought nine on a modified 50.
00:24:23
Speaker
Perfect.
00:24:24
Speaker
So you are able to rip Ryan off of the web.
00:24:28
Speaker
Ryan, you also still feel a little bit of the web on the front of you.
00:24:32
Speaker
I also hate you.
00:24:34
Speaker
I love you too, buddy.
00:24:36
Speaker
Ned's gonna grab Ryan kind of by the collar.
00:24:40
Speaker
Man, you get this together right now.
00:24:41
Speaker
You're the only one who can see that axe can, and I know you got a lighter.
00:24:44
Speaker
We need to just fucking run.
00:24:47
Speaker
Make a flamethrower, and let's just fucking book it.
00:24:51
Speaker
Got it?
00:24:52
Speaker
Go.
00:24:52
Speaker
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:24:54
Speaker
As soon as we get away from the web, then again, go, go, go, go.
00:24:57
Speaker
I will say, since you guys were able to be pulled away from the web, you can kind of see where it's draping now, because both of you have cut big enough holes into the web that it's not all the way across the road anymore.
00:25:12
Speaker
And you can kind of see where you can safely get through it.
00:25:15
Speaker
But keep in mind that second spider is on the other side of the web staring at you with its front two legs up.
00:25:23
Speaker
Man, these spiders have great combat awareness.
00:25:29
Speaker
They're waiting for their prey to get close to them.
00:25:32
Speaker
I hate it.
00:25:33
Speaker
Hey, you know what?
00:25:34
Speaker
As that thought crosses your mind, you hear a thump as the first spider hits the street behind you.
00:25:40
Speaker
Now I hate you again.
00:25:41
Speaker
I know.
00:25:42
Speaker
And I, you know what?
00:25:44
Speaker
These are big spiders.
00:25:45
Speaker
And now that you all know that they're there, I need you all to roll sanity minus Samantha.
00:25:50
Speaker
You already rolled your sanity.
00:25:51
Speaker
Oh, bless.
00:25:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:25:52
Speaker
Do I have to roll it again?
00:25:53
Speaker
29 out of 71.
00:25:53
Speaker
30 out of 47.
00:25:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:26:09
Speaker
62 out of 63.
00:26:10
Speaker
That was a close one.
00:26:13
Speaker
Okay, you all pass and none of you are going to take any sand damage.
00:26:17
Speaker
Any Sam damage?
00:26:19
Speaker
San.
00:26:20
Speaker
Sanity.
00:26:23
Speaker
Sam, quit kicking.
00:26:24
Speaker
Nobody wants to get kicked in the dick.
00:26:26
Speaker
That's kind of Arthur's gig, not yours.
00:26:29
Speaker
Sorry.
00:26:30
Speaker
Good callback.
00:26:30
Speaker
I shat my pants.
00:26:32
Speaker
I just lost my mind.
00:26:33
Speaker
I don't know what you're talking about.
00:26:34
Speaker
I don't know what to do anymore.
00:26:37
Speaker
So as you guys are surrounded by the spiders, we have Ryan with a can of ax and a lighter.
00:26:43
Speaker
We have Samantha with a pocket knife and Samantha with a tire iron.
00:26:48
Speaker
We're building Samantha over here.
00:26:52
Speaker
She's our barbarian.
00:26:54
Speaker
Ned and Arthur are both weaponless.
00:26:56
Speaker
We're with hopes and prayers.
00:26:59
Speaker
And now we're going to do something even more fun.
00:27:03
Speaker
Are you guys ready for more fun?
00:27:05
Speaker
I don't like the tone of your voice.
00:27:07
Speaker
Here's fun.
00:27:08
Speaker
I love fun.
00:27:09
Speaker
Hang on.
00:27:10
Speaker
I got to pull it up.
00:27:11
Speaker
I got to get to my notes.
00:27:13
Speaker
Just hang on.
00:27:14
Speaker
It's going to be great.
00:27:16
Speaker
Okay, let's see.
00:27:17
Speaker
So many dumb ways to die.
00:27:20
Speaker
Arthur.
00:27:22
Speaker
No.
00:27:22
Speaker
For this first round of combat, it is your turn.
00:27:26
Speaker
What are you going to do?
00:27:27
Speaker
I'm going to...
00:27:29
Speaker
I'm gonna fucking grab my pocket knife out of Sam's hand.
00:27:35
Speaker
Samantha, are you gonna let it go, or are you gonna fight him for the pocket knife?
00:27:38
Speaker
No, I got my tire iron.
00:27:40
Speaker
I'm dead.
00:27:41
Speaker
Okay.
00:27:42
Speaker
Alright, you get your pocket knife.
00:27:45
Speaker
I'll give you that as a free action.
00:27:47
Speaker
Cool beans.
00:27:48
Speaker
Thank you.
00:27:50
Speaker
You're a merciful god.
00:27:52
Speaker
I wanna look around maybe to see if there's like...
00:27:57
Speaker
Maybe a rock, a semi-large rock that I can throw.
00:28:03
Speaker
Shit.
00:28:05
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:09
Speaker
I guess give me a search.
00:28:12
Speaker
18 out of 20.
00:28:17
Speaker
Nice.
00:28:17
Speaker
Okay.
00:28:20
Speaker
Um, so from where you're at, you're at a part of the road that isn't, uh, has not been well taken care of.
00:28:26
Speaker
And you see in the road in front of you, there is a pothole with part of the, uh, blacktop crumbling.
00:28:32
Speaker
So yeah, you can definitely pick up part of that.
00:28:36
Speaker
Now I have a big rock and all are everything solved guys.
00:28:41
Speaker
I have a rock.
00:28:42
Speaker
You do Samantha.
00:28:44
Speaker
It's your turn.
00:28:47
Speaker
Wait, what are we're fighting these things?
00:28:51
Speaker
You don't have to.
00:28:52
Speaker
We're just in rounds of combat, so that way you guys can't do a million things before the spiders get to act.
00:28:58
Speaker
I just grabbed something that we could throw at them while we run away.
00:29:02
Speaker
A rock is a good throwable weapon.
00:29:09
Speaker
Okay, so Sam has her tire iron.
00:29:13
Speaker
She is petrified.
00:29:17
Speaker
So there's one behind us, one in front of us.
00:29:20
Speaker
Yes, they have you boxed in.
00:29:24
Speaker
Stop it.
00:29:25
Speaker
I'm going to throw a spider at you.
00:29:30
Speaker
Okay, so Sam is absolutely petrified right now.
00:29:38
Speaker
So I think what she would do in this situation is she would kind of get closer and stand behind
00:29:50
Speaker
One of the guys.
00:29:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:29:53
Speaker
While gripping her tire iron.
00:29:55
Speaker
So you're basically going to use one of the guys as cover.
00:29:59
Speaker
Yes.
00:30:01
Speaker
Okay.
00:30:02
Speaker
The proper term is human shield.
00:30:05
Speaker
Yes.
00:30:09
Speaker
If you're being implied, it's meat shield.
00:30:12
Speaker
Meat shield.
00:30:14
Speaker
That is going to take us to Ned's turn.
00:30:17
Speaker
Sam, give me that tire iron.
00:30:19
Speaker
No.
00:30:21
Speaker
I promise you, give me that tire iron.
00:30:23
Speaker
No.
00:30:25
Speaker
I'm gonna, I'm just gonna kind of take it from her hand.
00:30:29
Speaker
I'm gonna make it.
00:30:29
Speaker
No, you are not.
00:30:30
Speaker
So that you can get away.
00:30:31
Speaker
You're gonna get away.
00:30:33
Speaker
But I need that fucking piece of metal.
00:30:34
Speaker
She yanks it back so hard.
00:30:36
Speaker
Fuck off, Ned.
00:30:38
Speaker
This is mine.
00:30:39
Speaker
God damn it.
00:30:40
Speaker
God damn it.
00:30:40
Speaker
God damn it.
00:30:41
Speaker
God damn it.
00:30:42
Speaker
And I just, I charge and shoulder ram.
00:30:45
Speaker
I shoulder ram the spider in front of us.
00:30:47
Speaker
Oh no!
00:30:48
Speaker
Take my rock!
00:30:50
Speaker
Okay.
00:30:52
Speaker
I was going to say, no, you get to oppose check, but all right, you want to shoulder ram the spider in front of you.
00:30:59
Speaker
I ain't got time.
00:31:00
Speaker
I'm going to aim right for one of the front legs and just try and disjoint this thing.
00:31:06
Speaker
Football tackle.
00:31:07
Speaker
The front legs are currently off the ground.
00:31:09
Speaker
Well, then whichever ones are on the ground, I'm taking one of them and I'm bringing it with me.
00:31:15
Speaker
So you're going to try and shoulder ram it or you're going to try and tackle it?
00:31:18
Speaker
Uh...
00:31:19
Speaker
Yes.
00:31:20
Speaker
Shoulders going to go into the leg and I'm going to try and rip the leg off.
00:31:24
Speaker
It's still a spider.
00:31:24
Speaker
It's still a skinny leg.
00:31:25
Speaker
I'm going to take it right with me.
00:31:27
Speaker
So let's be clear.
00:31:29
Speaker
Sam is hiding behind Ryan.
00:31:35
Speaker
That's fair.
00:31:36
Speaker
I was trying to help you.
00:31:38
Speaker
All right.
00:31:38
Speaker
Give me a unarmed combat.
00:31:42
Speaker
And since you're moving, I want you to do it at a negative 10.
00:31:46
Speaker
Negative 10 unarmed combat.
00:31:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:31:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:31:53
Speaker
27 on a modified 40.
00:31:55
Speaker
Excellent.
00:31:56
Speaker
All right.
00:31:56
Speaker
1d4 minus 1.
00:31:58
Speaker
1d4 minus 1.
00:31:59
Speaker
All right.
00:32:02
Speaker
That's a 4, so 3 damage.
00:32:05
Speaker
3 damage to it.
00:32:06
Speaker
Okay, perfect.
00:32:07
Speaker
So as you rush forward, you are able to kind of... It's kind of a mix between a shoulder ram and like a jump tackle.
00:32:17
Speaker
And you are able to wrap your arms around the joint and kind of pull it down.
00:32:21
Speaker
And you do see it kind of lose a little bit of balance.
00:32:26
Speaker
I mean, it has eight legs, so it's going to take more than that to actually get it off kilter.
00:32:30
Speaker
But it doesn't seem like it does nothing.
00:32:33
Speaker
Run, run now.
00:32:35
Speaker
Get away.
00:32:36
Speaker
Go.
00:32:37
Speaker
Ryan Winchester, it is your turn.
00:32:44
Speaker
I honestly have been trying to think what to do and I'm not sure.
00:32:48
Speaker
I've grabbed a rock, bro.
00:32:50
Speaker
I don't know what to do with it.
00:32:52
Speaker
Claim throw away.
00:32:53
Speaker
Claim throw away.
00:32:54
Speaker
Claim throw away.
00:32:56
Speaker
Problem with that is Ryan knows that webs are flammable, and it's a lot of web around him.
00:33:02
Speaker
Do you want to get bitter?
00:33:04
Speaker
Do you want to get caught on fire?
00:33:05
Speaker
Do something.
00:33:06
Speaker
I don't want either.
00:33:10
Speaker
Yeah, so Ryan is going to try to rush through the web, like, towards the side of the spider and then pull up the axe can and spray it down with flames, trying to, like, herd it back towards its web.
00:33:22
Speaker
So you want to run... So basically you want the spider to be between you and everybody else?
00:33:29
Speaker
More to the side of the spider, but yeah.
00:33:32
Speaker
More to the side of the spider.
00:33:34
Speaker
Yeah.
00:33:35
Speaker
Okay.
00:33:35
Speaker
So Ned took out one of its legs.
00:33:37
Speaker
He's going to run on that side of the spider and just kind of spray flames above Ned.
00:33:43
Speaker
Okay.
00:33:44
Speaker
I'm very displeased that you specified that, but okay.
00:33:49
Speaker
You're displeased.
00:33:52
Speaker
Yeah, because I was going to make him roll a 50-50 to see if he ran to the side you're on or the side you're not on and throw a fucking fire at you.
00:33:59
Speaker
I'm going to get on fire.
00:34:00
Speaker
I said above.
00:34:02
Speaker
I know.
00:34:02
Speaker
I know.
00:34:03
Speaker
I'm losing hair.
00:34:06
Speaker
So I am going to make you roll.
00:34:10
Speaker
Firearms?
00:34:16
Speaker
I wish there was like a modified weapon category.
00:34:21
Speaker
Unfortunately, there's not.
00:34:23
Speaker
Roll me survival.
00:34:26
Speaker
Roll me a survival.
00:34:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:32
Speaker
I liked my firearm joke.
00:34:34
Speaker
Firearm joke was a good joke.
00:34:38
Speaker
That is a 44 on a 50.
00:34:41
Speaker
That is a crit success.
00:34:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:34:45
Speaker
You are able to light the lighter in one.
00:34:49
Speaker
You spray the axe can and you don't have to worry about the fire jumping back into the can for you.
00:34:58
Speaker
So here's what I want you to do.
00:35:00
Speaker
I was going to give you a D10.
00:35:02
Speaker
Roll me two of them.
00:35:04
Speaker
Oh, fuck.
00:35:05
Speaker
You succeeded.
00:35:06
Speaker
So go ahead and roll me 2d10 for damage.
00:35:09
Speaker
That is nine damage altogether.
00:35:11
Speaker
Nine damage altogether.
00:35:13
Speaker
Roll me just a 50-50.
00:35:14
Speaker
I thought you were going to say luck, and I got excited for a second.
00:35:18
Speaker
No.
00:35:19
Speaker
Again, your luck is too high for me to call that on you.
00:35:22
Speaker
Yeah, I know.
00:35:23
Speaker
That's a 14.
00:35:24
Speaker
So you are able to do nine damage.
00:35:28
Speaker
You hear the unearthly sound of the spider, which...
00:35:33
Speaker
You know, if you were small enough to be the size of a spider, you would hear normal.
00:35:37
Speaker
You hear the unearthly sound of the spider screaming as you light it on fire.
00:35:46
Speaker
It is now the spider's turn.
00:35:50
Speaker
It is going to move away from you and start climbing the wall.
00:35:54
Speaker
You aren't going anywhere.
00:35:57
Speaker
I am actually going to roll for the spider here.
00:36:04
Speaker
We get opportunity attacks.
00:36:07
Speaker
Wrong game.
00:36:08
Speaker
Not in Delta Green, you don't.
00:36:11
Speaker
83.
00:36:11
Speaker
It failed its 50-50 roll.
00:36:14
Speaker
So it does light the web on fire as it's starting to climb the building.
00:36:21
Speaker
And that is going to be its entire turn.
00:36:23
Speaker
It gets up to about the third story.
00:36:27
Speaker
And so now the webs are on fire?
00:36:29
Speaker
The webs are also on fire, yes.
00:36:32
Speaker
Sam is having a full-blown panic attack.
00:36:35
Speaker
That's great that Sam's having a full-blown panic attack because she was hiding behind Ryan and Ryan ran ahead, so she's out in the open right now.
00:36:42
Speaker
She's also the closest to the spider in the back and it is that spider's turn.
00:36:47
Speaker
Full-blown.
00:36:48
Speaker
Full-blown panic attack.
00:36:50
Speaker
The spider behind you is going to come up to you and it is going to try to bite you, Sam.
00:36:56
Speaker
Oh,
00:37:00
Speaker
I just want to clarify for anyone that might be wondering.
00:37:03
Speaker
Clarify.
00:37:03
Speaker
Go ahead.
00:37:05
Speaker
The reason Ryan did not go for the spider behind him, he crit failed seeing it.
00:37:09
Speaker
So he literally didn't know there was another spider.
00:37:13
Speaker
He only saw the one in front of him, and that's why he went for that one.
00:37:16
Speaker
That's fair.
00:37:17
Speaker
That's 100%.
00:37:17
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:37:22
Speaker
Samantha, you can roll me an alertness to see if you see this coming, but it's it's barreling for you.
00:37:32
Speaker
Nope, she sees absolutely fucking nothing.
00:37:35
Speaker
Fuck.
00:37:36
Speaker
The spider rolled an 5 on its bite.
00:37:40
Speaker
How dead am I?
00:37:42
Speaker
I mean, you're not dead.
00:37:45
Speaker
I beg to fucking differ.
00:37:46
Speaker
If a spider the size of a goddamn minivan bit me, I'd be dead.
00:37:52
Speaker
You good up there?
00:37:52
Speaker
Nope!
00:37:54
Speaker
I just dropped all of my fucking dice and I'm stuck and I can't get to them.
00:37:58
Speaker
Oh, perfect.
00:38:01
Speaker
Well, that's disappointing.
00:38:03
Speaker
Yeah, it is.
00:38:03
Speaker
I don't know how you want me to help you on that.
00:38:07
Speaker
Because I have nothing to roll with now, so... Just mute yourself, and then you can make all the noise you need to get your stuff.
00:38:13
Speaker
Pee break.
00:38:15
Speaker
You don't understand the setup I'm in, Matthew.
00:38:18
Speaker
Take a picture.
00:38:19
Speaker
I need to understand.
00:38:20
Speaker
Give me just a second here, because I've got to see how much damage this spider's fang is going to do to Samantha's leg.
00:38:25
Speaker
Ooh.
00:38:30
Speaker
Oh...
00:38:31
Speaker
You got so fucking lucky.
00:38:35
Speaker
Oh shit.
00:38:36
Speaker
Next is a little.
00:38:39
Speaker
I rolled it under the guise of a combat knife, which is a D six of damage.
00:38:48
Speaker
And the spider happened to roll a one.
00:38:52
Speaker
So I'm going to say that it didn't actually puncture your leg.
00:38:56
Speaker
It went to bite you and just kind of scraped along the side.
00:39:00
Speaker
I am going to need you to roll me.
00:39:04
Speaker
I know you can't get to your dice right this second, so give me a minute.
00:39:07
Speaker
I need you to roll me a constitution check.
00:39:10
Speaker
Chop, chop.
00:39:11
Speaker
Hurry up.
00:39:11
Speaker
Come on, Sam.
00:39:13
Speaker
Okay, so Samantha, I need you to roll me that constitution check.
00:39:19
Speaker
is a 46 out of 60.
00:39:22
Speaker
Okay.
00:39:28
Speaker
So you are able to stay on your feet.
00:39:30
Speaker
And what did it do?
00:39:34
Speaker
What?
00:39:35
Speaker
It just scratched me?
00:39:37
Speaker
It didn't full-on bite me?
00:39:39
Speaker
It tried to bite you, but it rolled so terribly that, yeah, it just kind of more head-butted you and the fangs scraped you is more what happened.
00:39:49
Speaker
Are the fangs poisonous?
00:39:52
Speaker
Well, you know, that's part of what the constitution check was for, and you passed, so you are not poisoned either.
00:39:57
Speaker
Okay, good.
00:40:00
Speaker
So, we are going to the back of the top of the round.
00:40:06
Speaker
Arthur R. We are going back to the back of the top.
00:40:09
Speaker
Alright.
00:40:10
Speaker
Arthur R. Gooseburg, you are up.
00:40:14
Speaker
Okay, so, uh...
00:40:17
Speaker
Arthur wants to use that newly found rock he got and run over to help Sam.
00:40:23
Speaker
And he wants to use that rock to bash that spider bloody.
00:40:30
Speaker
Perfect.
00:40:30
Speaker
Roll me a melee weapons.
00:40:33
Speaker
Sorry, roll you a what?
00:40:34
Speaker
Melee weapons, but I'm going to let you roll it at a plus 10 since you were getting right on top of the spider.
00:40:42
Speaker
I am so sorry.
00:40:43
Speaker
Could you repeat what one I rolled again?
00:40:46
Speaker
Melee weapons at a plus 10.
00:40:49
Speaker
Ooh, 34 out of 40.
00:40:52
Speaker
Perfect.
00:40:53
Speaker
Go ahead and roll.
00:40:54
Speaker
We'll do a D8 of damage.
00:41:01
Speaker
You had to choose the one dice I don't have out.
00:41:09
Speaker
You take four.
00:41:13
Speaker
Four damage.
00:41:13
Speaker
Perfect.
00:41:14
Speaker
So that is four damage to the one behind you.
00:41:16
Speaker
That goes to Samantha!
00:41:19
Speaker
That's... Samantha!
00:41:22
Speaker
That's Melanie.
00:41:22
Speaker
Samantha.
00:41:25
Speaker
Yes, I know.
00:41:25
Speaker
I was moving things around.
00:41:29
Speaker
My computer's just really hot for some reason, and I don't know why.
00:41:32
Speaker
It's not like it's on anything that would cause it to overheat, so I'm not sure what's going on with it.
00:41:39
Speaker
Okay.
00:41:40
Speaker
So...
00:41:42
Speaker
Sam just got scraped by this mother effing spider.
00:41:47
Speaker
Do I take, did you say took any damage?
00:41:50
Speaker
Yeah, you took one damage.
00:41:52
Speaker
One damage.
00:41:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:41:53
Speaker
I didn't write that down.
00:41:54
Speaker
Um, she is, it's still like right up on them, right?
00:41:58
Speaker
Yes.
00:41:58
Speaker
Okay.
00:41:59
Speaker
So she's going to take her tire iron and try and bash it in the face.
00:42:05
Speaker
Cool.
00:42:06
Speaker
Uh, melee weapons.
00:42:07
Speaker
I'll also let you do it at a plus 10 since you're right on top of it.
00:42:13
Speaker
That's a 74 out of 40.
00:42:17
Speaker
So you are freaking out to the point of almost hysterics with the spider right in front of you and knowing that it was its huge fucking fang that just scraped against your leg and you just kind of start swinging wildly and you hit nothing but air.
00:42:34
Speaker
Ned, your turn.
00:42:35
Speaker
Sam visibly has tears rolling down her face because she's so scared right now.
00:42:40
Speaker
That is a fair reaction.
00:42:42
Speaker
Is there any way I can run, grab Sam, and get out?
00:42:48
Speaker
You know what?
00:42:48
Speaker
Even if there's not, I'm going to try and run up, and just like when we were running away from the treehouse, I'm going to try and just run up, throw her on my shoulder, and run away.
00:42:58
Speaker
Okay, I'm going to say roll a dex to get through the web.
00:43:02
Speaker
More so to not get... I thought you said the web was on fire.
00:43:10
Speaker
Yes, and if you would have let me finish, I was literally in the middle of saying more so to not get caught on fire than to get stuck in the web.
00:43:21
Speaker
The web.
00:43:22
Speaker
The web.
00:43:23
Speaker
The web is on fire.
00:43:28
Speaker
We don't need no water.
00:43:30
Speaker
Let the fucking spider burn.
00:43:34
Speaker
Okay, so what am I rolling?
00:43:35
Speaker
Dexterity, you said?
00:43:36
Speaker
Yes.
00:43:37
Speaker
Okay.
00:43:38
Speaker
Yeah, I'll roll that.
00:43:41
Speaker
I got a 54 on a 65.
00:43:45
Speaker
Okay, you are able to make it through the web.
00:43:47
Speaker
It's going to be up to Sam if she actually lets you pick her up.
00:43:51
Speaker
Come on, girlie.
00:43:52
Speaker
You're coming with me.
00:43:53
Speaker
We've done this before.
00:43:55
Speaker
Sam is not fighting it this time.
00:43:58
Speaker
Scoop.
00:44:00
Speaker
Okay, so... So when Ned scoops her, she literally just buries her face into his shoulder, trying to process what's going on.
00:44:11
Speaker
She's very at a loss for words right now, but she whispers, Thank you.
00:44:17
Speaker
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
00:44:18
Speaker
Everybody, just run!
00:44:19
Speaker
The front spider's gone!
00:44:20
Speaker
We gotta get to that safe house!
00:44:22
Speaker
So that was your turn, was running and picking her up, so you are standing next to Arthur right now with the spider right in front of you guys.
00:44:30
Speaker
Yeah, doing like the Heisman stance.
00:44:32
Speaker
I got her over there.
00:44:33
Speaker
Ryan, it is your turn.
00:44:35
Speaker
Ryan is not going back through that web for reasons and is going to start looking around for anything to throw at the spider.
00:44:44
Speaker
I'm really sad that you didn't go back through the web.
00:44:47
Speaker
It's the same reason that he didn't start using fire while on the other side of the web.
00:44:52
Speaker
Okay.
00:44:53
Speaker
Okay.
00:44:55
Speaker
What was it that you said you were going to do?
00:44:58
Speaker
I was so waiting for you to say that you were going to go try and light the other spider on fire.
00:45:02
Speaker
That's what I was focused on.
00:45:03
Speaker
So what did you say you were going to do?
00:45:05
Speaker
I'm sorry.
00:45:07
Speaker
He's looking around for anything to throw.
00:45:09
Speaker
Rock, part of a vehicle, anything.
00:45:12
Speaker
Yeah, there was that pothole with the crumbling blacktop next to it.
00:45:17
Speaker
You could definitely grab part of that.
00:45:20
Speaker
Yeah, he's going to scoop that up and just let it fly right at the face of the spider.
00:45:24
Speaker
Yep.
00:45:25
Speaker
Um, hmm.
00:45:26
Speaker
Give me a... Man, there are a couple skills I'm going to have to have you guys write in.
00:45:33
Speaker
Uh, melee weapons?
00:45:35
Speaker
Yeah, I'm debating between melee weapons and firearms.
00:45:37
Speaker
Uh, do melee weapons.
00:45:38
Speaker
Yeah, that's fine.
00:45:39
Speaker
Okay.
00:45:40
Speaker
That is a nat 12 on a 50.
00:45:44
Speaker
Sweet.
00:45:45
Speaker
So go ahead and roll a d8 of damage.
00:45:50
Speaker
To quote Matt, the one dice I didn't grab.
00:45:53
Speaker
Ha ha ha.
00:45:55
Speaker
I had a six, a four, a ten.
00:45:58
Speaker
I even looked at it too before when I was grabbing dice.
00:46:00
Speaker
I was like, do I need this?
00:46:02
Speaker
Nah, he doesn't make us roll the eights.
00:46:04
Speaker
Okay.
00:46:06
Speaker
Yep.
00:46:07
Speaker
I actually had to go to the weapon page of the Delta Green handbook to see, like, to give me an idea of what I should have you guys wrote.
00:46:17
Speaker
So, like, I'm counting this chunk of blacktop basically as the same as, like, a baseball bat.
00:46:25
Speaker
which is the highest that a melee weapon can go.
00:46:27
Speaker
So I really just grabbed these giant chunks and just used them as rudimentary clubs.
00:46:34
Speaker
That's what I pictured, was that you weren't going for anything small.
00:46:37
Speaker
You were going for something bigger.
00:46:41
Speaker
Yeah, nice and softball sized.
00:46:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:46:45
Speaker
That is a five.
00:46:47
Speaker
That's a five.
00:46:48
Speaker
Okay.
00:46:50
Speaker
This is going to be the first time I'm going to do this in the show.
00:46:53
Speaker
Ryan, what does it look like when you kill this spider with this, uh, with this chunk of concrete?
00:46:59
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:47:00
Speaker
Kill a thing.
00:47:01
Speaker
Kill a thing.
00:47:03
Speaker
Do it.
00:47:05
Speaker
Ryan is pretty freaked out for reasons.
00:47:08
Speaker
And he scoops up this rock and just full body hucks it at it and nails it directly in one of the eyes.
00:47:15
Speaker
And the rock just disappears in a spurt of goo.
00:47:18
Speaker
And it reaches a couple of times and dies.
00:47:22
Speaker
Excellent.
00:47:23
Speaker
Samantha, give me a constitution check.
00:47:26
Speaker
Why me?
00:47:28
Speaker
Because you are literally over Ned's shoulder staring at it.
00:47:34
Speaker
I said I was hiding my face.
00:47:38
Speaker
Honey, you tried to hide your face, but you're over my shoulder.
00:47:40
Speaker
You're closer to looking at my ass than my shoulder.
00:47:42
Speaker
Out of 70.
00:47:44
Speaker
You're kind of 70.
00:47:45
Speaker
All right.
00:47:46
Speaker
You managed to not throw up as you watch this thing's face explode.
00:47:50
Speaker
Out of 60, but even still.
00:47:51
Speaker
Okay.
00:47:54
Speaker
I do need to do one thing quick.
00:47:58
Speaker
Is it get me Taco Bell because I'm fucking hungry?
00:48:00
Speaker
I know, dude.
00:48:01
Speaker
We had such taco talk in this fucking message board on the side.
00:48:06
Speaker
We're talking about Taco John's Taco Bell.
00:48:09
Speaker
Sam, you don't need to worry about getting no tacos.
00:48:11
Speaker
I can smell your ass.
00:48:12
Speaker
I got it right next to my face right now.
00:48:13
Speaker
I hope they have a washing machine.
00:48:16
Speaker
She smacks the fuck out of Ned.
00:48:20
Speaker
I deserve that, but I'm still not wrong.
00:48:22
Speaker
It's because I shat my pants earlier.
00:48:25
Speaker
Shut up.
00:48:27
Speaker
You gotta need new pants.
00:48:30
Speaker
It's the other spider's turn.
00:48:33
Speaker
I don't believe in that other spider.
00:48:36
Speaker
Ryan, give me a alertness check.
00:48:39
Speaker
That is a 44 on a 64. 64.
00:48:45
Speaker
He is now keyed into the situation.
00:48:48
Speaker
Ever since you lit that other spider on fire, you've kind of been aware of where it's at.
00:48:56
Speaker
Kind of hard to miss.
00:48:57
Speaker
As it's climbing the building, it gets to about the third, in between the third and fourth floor and lets go of the wall.
00:49:05
Speaker
And it lands upside down in a burning heap.
00:49:10
Speaker
on the ground in front of you, and it's screaming, and its legs are flailing as it's trying to get back up to run, and in one last dying scream, all eight legs just curl in on itself as the body slowly burns.
00:49:32
Speaker
And you guys are no longer in combat.
00:49:36
Speaker
So you pass out, you need something to eat, and this thing is pretty well cooked.
00:49:40
Speaker
Did we just win?
00:49:41
Speaker
You make me eat that motherfucking spider.
00:49:44
Speaker
I swear to God that it'll be the last thing you do.
00:49:48
Speaker
All right, damn fine.
00:49:49
Speaker
Let's get to the movie theater then and get you some popcorn and get me away from all this nonsense.
00:49:54
Speaker
Come on, let's go.
00:49:55
Speaker
Before we leave, Arthur wants to look around to see if there's any like lumps in the web.
00:50:01
Speaker
Like maybe there's someone else got caught.
00:50:03
Speaker
Maybe they've got some useful shit on them before we leave.
00:50:08
Speaker
There has been nobody else in this area.
00:50:10
Speaker
The webs look absolutely fresh.
00:50:14
Speaker
Okay.
00:50:16
Speaker
Which would explain why you both walked face first into him.
00:50:19
Speaker
Gotcha.
00:50:20
Speaker
Come on, Hannibal.
00:50:21
Speaker
Let's get out of here.
00:50:24
Speaker
I'm taking my rock and I'm still holding on to the rock I used to bash the spider.
00:50:30
Speaker
God, I got a question for you.
00:50:33
Speaker
What kind of stores and shops or anything are we going to pass while we're walking to this here movie
Detour to Cryptid Crafts
00:50:39
Speaker
theater?
00:50:41
Speaker
Also, I put Sam down.
00:50:43
Speaker
I was going to say, are you going to put me down or are you just still hollow me over the shoulder?
00:50:47
Speaker
No, no, I will set you down gently.
00:50:49
Speaker
And I'm hoping that we can find like a Walgreens or something like that.
00:50:53
Speaker
You'll pass a couple mom and pop shops, but the route that you guys are taking to the movie theater is not going to get you past any big department stores or anything.
00:51:03
Speaker
So we will pass maybe a Walgreens or something like that?
00:51:07
Speaker
No, you'll pass hole in the wall mom and pop places.
00:51:12
Speaker
What about some sturdy walking sticks?
00:51:18
Speaker
Go take one of the spider's legs.
00:51:20
Speaker
Oh, shit.
00:51:21
Speaker
Yeah.
00:51:23
Speaker
Don't actually do that.
00:51:24
Speaker
Hey, also, there's the back left one if you want it.
00:51:28
Speaker
That's the one I hit.
00:51:29
Speaker
I think I broke it, so it'll probably come off pretty easy.
00:51:33
Speaker
I'm going to try.
00:51:34
Speaker
To be fair, that spider is in a burning heap with its legs curled in on itself, so more than likely not.
00:51:41
Speaker
There's another.
00:51:42
Speaker
I'm not going to try.
00:51:44
Speaker
No, can we get out of here?
00:51:45
Speaker
Let's go.
00:51:45
Speaker
I was going to say there is another spider, but that is not the one that you hit.
00:51:50
Speaker
No.
00:51:52
Speaker
I'm clutching my rock and running.
00:51:54
Speaker
Okay.
00:51:55
Speaker
Sam, I saw you get it bit at you.
00:51:57
Speaker
You okay?
00:51:59
Speaker
Yeah, my leg's a little scraped, but I don't think it
00:52:04
Speaker
I don't think it did do real damage.
00:52:07
Speaker
She's not bleeding, is she?
00:52:08
Speaker
Yeah, I think she is, but not terribly.
00:52:15
Speaker
No, she's not.
00:52:17
Speaker
Not bleeding?
00:52:18
Speaker
No, she's not bleeding.
00:52:19
Speaker
It scraped, but it didn't break.
00:52:21
Speaker
Like, it didn't break skin.
00:52:22
Speaker
The skin is very red where it hit, but it did not puncture.
00:52:28
Speaker
Okay.
00:52:29
Speaker
Sam, you want something to cover that or no?
00:52:33
Speaker
Um, I think I'll be good for now.
00:52:37
Speaker
I'm pissed that my leggings are ripped.
00:52:39
Speaker
I was gonna say jeans.
00:52:42
Speaker
I didn't know you were wearing leggings, but yes, your leggings are definitely ripped to where the fang made contact, though.
00:52:48
Speaker
It's 2020-something.
00:52:49
Speaker
Every woman's wearing leggings instead of jeans nowadays.
00:52:53
Speaker
That's fine.
00:52:53
Speaker
I mean, there are jeggings, too.
00:52:57
Speaker
She could have been jeggings.
00:52:58
Speaker
About how far are we from the movie theater?
00:53:02
Speaker
You guys are coming up on it.
00:53:07
Speaker
Relatively uneventful the rest of the way.
00:53:11
Speaker
As you make your way across town.
00:53:13
Speaker
You do find a couple mom and pop shops.
00:53:16
Speaker
One of them is a just a little clothing shop.
00:53:19
Speaker
One of them is a gift shop for some reason.
00:53:23
Speaker
Gainsborough is not a tourist destination.
00:53:29
Speaker
So these people are just like, well, maybe some people will like things to remember their stay.
00:53:35
Speaker
And everyone else in the town is like, who fucking stays here?
00:53:39
Speaker
You idiot.
00:53:40
Speaker
Nobody even knows we exist.
00:53:42
Speaker
So, you know, it's one of those kind of shops.
00:53:45
Speaker
Can I retcon that it's Arthur's family that owns it?
00:53:50
Speaker
Because the voice you just made was a very Arthur-type tone, and it has filled with his alien stuff and his wanting to blurry pictures of Bigfoot stuff.
00:54:11
Speaker
I love it.
00:54:12
Speaker
Yes, or ever.
00:54:13
Speaker
Yes, it is definitely Frank and Darlene's.
00:54:17
Speaker
Oh, if I ever pass it by Bob and dad's shop, I want to go in there and get some shit.
00:54:22
Speaker
All right, let's go inside.
00:54:23
Speaker
Let's go see what we got.
00:54:25
Speaker
The name of the store is called cryptid crafts.
00:54:30
Speaker
I want that in real life.
00:54:35
Speaker
Okay, yeah, you guys can definitely go into cryptid crafts.
00:54:39
Speaker
Arthur, how the hell have I known you for like the past 12 fucking years, and I didn't know your parents owned some sort of goofy ass like Bigfoot shop?
00:54:48
Speaker
I just assumed you thought you knew that my whole family was weird.
00:54:54
Speaker
No, no, just you.
00:54:56
Speaker
Well, I guess the apocalypse is the perfect time to figure that out.
00:55:02
Speaker
Well, apparently this is why we don't hang out at your house.
00:55:05
Speaker
If it's just a whole bunch of you, you are more than enough for one group of friends, but you are something.
00:55:12
Speaker
I bet.
00:55:12
Speaker
Take that as a compliment.
00:55:13
Speaker
You should.
00:55:15
Speaker
Every group of friend needs that.
00:55:17
Speaker
I'm the dumb one.
00:55:18
Speaker
You're the weird one.
00:55:20
Speaker
Ryan's the sane one.
00:55:21
Speaker
And Sam, well, she's normal.
00:55:24
Speaker
We're not.
00:55:26
Speaker
She's the other one that shit her pats.
00:55:29
Speaker
Sam plays fourths, she gets pretty good grades, she gonna do good in life.
00:55:33
Speaker
The rest of us?
00:55:33
Speaker
I don't know.
00:55:34
Speaker
I'm going in the military.
00:55:35
Speaker
Maybe.
00:55:37
Speaker
Sam's just looking at you like, you know fucking nothing.
00:55:41
Speaker
That's why I'm going in the military.
00:55:43
Speaker
Yeah.
00:55:44
Speaker
Okay.
00:55:44
Speaker
So you guys walk into a cryptid crafts, which is Fred and Darlene's store.
00:55:52
Speaker
What are you looking for?
00:55:54
Speaker
Um, I guess since this is like, uh, like you said, this was the town's like, uh, souvenir gift shop shit.
00:56:02
Speaker
Uh, I want to look for like a map of the town and, uh,
00:56:07
Speaker
Like maybe a sturdy piece of like plywood or something that I could duct tape my rock to.
00:56:14
Speaker
So what I'm going to say is you find a map of the town, but the map of the town is...
00:56:21
Speaker
not really going to help you it's the only things that are marked on this map is this is where cryptids were sighted this is where the biggest Bigfoot sighting has happened someone said that they were abducted by a UFO over here so it's more of like welcome to Gainsborough this is our history kind of thing does it keep the geography of the areas though have you seen the movie Bolt I mean a while ago
00:56:51
Speaker
It keeps the geography of your town about as well as the Waffle House map keeps the geography of the United States.
00:56:59
Speaker
Oh, my God.
00:57:03
Speaker
Oh, so perfect.
00:57:04
Speaker
That's a good poll.
00:57:05
Speaker
Sure, sure.
00:57:06
Speaker
Yeah, I'm looking at this map and it's pretty one to one.
00:57:10
Speaker
Ryan is going to take it out of his hands and pull a pen out of his pocket and start writing down a map of the town.
00:57:17
Speaker
That's exactly why I like the back of his hand.
00:57:20
Speaker
You're going to write it on the back of your hand.
00:57:23
Speaker
No, no.
00:57:23
Speaker
On the back of the map that he has.
00:57:25
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:25
Speaker
An actual real map.
00:57:27
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:29
Speaker
I misunderstood what the back of your hand had to do with it.
00:57:32
Speaker
I thought you were saying like you were looking at it and then tracing it onto the back of your hand.
00:57:35
Speaker
I was like, dude, just grab a second map and trace it onto the back of the second map or something.
00:57:42
Speaker
No, he knows the towel in the back of his hand.
00:57:45
Speaker
Gotcha.
00:57:46
Speaker
Okay.
00:57:46
Speaker
Are there any little Sasquatch keychain flashlights and shit like that?
00:57:53
Speaker
Anything that we could use for light?
00:57:57
Speaker
Oh yeah, there's definitely novelty flashlights.
00:57:59
Speaker
I'm going to grab a bunch of those then.
00:58:02
Speaker
Ryan, when did you get that new mole on the back of your hand?
00:58:08
Speaker
I have military science land.
00:58:11
Speaker
So he would know pretty well the town.
00:58:13
Speaker
Yeah.
00:58:15
Speaker
Maybe not every single shop, but at least most of the streets.
00:58:19
Speaker
I just had to give you a hard time.
00:58:22
Speaker
Sam is looking for a backpack since it's a souvenir shop.
00:58:28
Speaker
She figures that there will be some sort of backpack or bag or something so she can go through and grab any snacks or anything there is too.
00:58:39
Speaker
Because I guarantee you
00:58:42
Speaker
from the Sasquatch place that I have, like, there's a, can't remember the name of it, but I know there was like the Sasquatch souvenir shop that I stopped to before, and they had Sasquatch jerky.
00:58:56
Speaker
Yeah, that was when we were visiting Katie's and Raina in Ohio.
00:59:00
Speaker
In Ohio!
00:59:01
Speaker
That sounds so cool.
00:59:04
Speaker
That sounds so cool.
00:59:06
Speaker
Yeah, they had a whole bunch of Sasquatch stuff there.
00:59:09
Speaker
She's looking for like a backpack and she wants to take any snacks or jerky that she can find for the group.
00:59:16
Speaker
Yeah, you can find that.
00:59:16
Speaker
No problem.
00:59:17
Speaker
I am going to say there's also, as you guys are walking around and walk up to the counter, you find cans that claim to be Sasquatch mace.
00:59:31
Speaker
Sasquatch mace.
00:59:33
Speaker
Yep.
00:59:34
Speaker
Do they look all old and aged and stuff?
00:59:38
Speaker
They do not.
00:59:41
Speaker
Everything in this store looks pristine.
00:59:45
Speaker
Really?
00:59:46
Speaker
Mm-hmm.
00:59:48
Speaker
Can I roll a sanity?
00:59:50
Speaker
Sure, go ahead.
00:59:51
Speaker
Yeah, you know what?
00:59:52
Speaker
Everyone roll me a sanity.
00:59:53
Speaker
Because that creeps me the hell out.
00:59:55
Speaker
Everyone except for Ryan roll me a sanity because Ryan has not seen things as being aged at all anyway.
01:00:03
Speaker
I got a 9 out of 47.
01:00:05
Speaker
Wait.
01:00:07
Speaker
Nine out of 47.
01:00:08
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:09
Speaker
Lose zero.
01:00:10
Speaker
81 out of something.
01:00:15
Speaker
Hold on.
01:00:17
Speaker
81 out of 70.
01:00:18
Speaker
Okay.
01:00:19
Speaker
You will lose one.
01:00:19
Speaker
And Ryan, I meant you saw the axe can not being aged.
01:00:25
Speaker
So seeing things, other things that are not aged does not affect you.
01:00:30
Speaker
Like it would affect everyone else.
01:00:32
Speaker
Thank you for the clarification.
01:00:33
Speaker
Yeah.
01:00:34
Speaker
I, I, after I said it, like, as the words were coming out of my mouth, I was like, no.
01:00:42
Speaker
Hey, DM keeper, handler, host, and all above God.
01:00:46
Speaker
I got a 77 on a 71.
01:00:47
Speaker
Oh, you crit failed.
01:00:55
Speaker
Perfect.
01:00:56
Speaker
Roll a... Well, no, you're not going to roll.
01:00:59
Speaker
That's a thing.
01:01:00
Speaker
You're going to take three sanity damage.
01:01:03
Speaker
Okay.
01:01:04
Speaker
Because max for this one was a d4 minus one.
01:01:07
Speaker
Okay.
01:01:08
Speaker
I will take that.
01:01:09
Speaker
I thought it was going to be worse.
01:01:11
Speaker
Nope.
01:01:12
Speaker
I got a question.
01:01:13
Speaker
I got an answer.
01:01:14
Speaker
So since this is my family's store...
01:01:19
Speaker
Would I know of like of a back room like where they like where the office is or maybe a spot where I know that my dad has a weapon to defend himself against burglars?
01:01:32
Speaker
Yeah, totally.
01:01:33
Speaker
Gun safe or something like that.
01:01:35
Speaker
You would know that he keeps something behind the counter, but you have also worked the odd shift here just to help your family out.
01:01:44
Speaker
So you know the layout of the store pretty well.
01:01:47
Speaker
You know that the back room is where they would have any of their extra stuff.
01:01:50
Speaker
Also...
01:01:51
Speaker
Since this is a kind of like a souvenir shop, there is clothes and stuff here, too, if you guys did want to change.
01:01:58
Speaker
You know that in the back room is where they keep all their extra stuff.
01:02:01
Speaker
That's where they keep the office with the computer to do the books.
01:02:05
Speaker
Really, the only weapon that he has is a baseball bat.
01:02:10
Speaker
Perfect.
01:02:12
Speaker
And he keeps it behind the counter.
01:02:14
Speaker
As I remember that, I'm like, huh.
01:02:16
Speaker
And I go to go to the counter.
01:02:18
Speaker
Before that, I grab one of my souvenir shirts to remember.
01:02:23
Speaker
Because fuck, fuck if I know if I'm ever going to give it a comeback here so far.
01:02:27
Speaker
So I need a little souvenir, if you will.
01:02:30
Speaker
OK, so you grab the souvenir shirt and then I grab the bat.
01:02:34
Speaker
I start making my bat and rock combination with the duct tape I got from the garage.
01:02:42
Speaker
R30s, your family have gift cards in here?
01:02:44
Speaker
Probably.
01:02:45
Speaker
Hang on.
01:02:46
Speaker
We need to resolve this first.
01:02:48
Speaker
Give me a... You're going to make me a roll.
01:02:51
Speaker
You are going to give me a... God, what am I going to make you roll on this one?
01:02:58
Speaker
There is a craft, if he has it.
01:03:00
Speaker
I have carpenter craft.
01:03:01
Speaker
There is a craft.
01:03:02
Speaker
Okay, yeah, give me a craft roll.
01:03:04
Speaker
I looked right over craft.
01:03:05
Speaker
Thank you for that one, Breck.
01:03:06
Speaker
Well, that's if he has it.
01:03:09
Speaker
He started zero at base.
01:03:12
Speaker
Well, it's okay.
01:03:14
Speaker
I rolled a 51 out of 20 for Carpenter.
01:03:18
Speaker
Perfect.
01:03:18
Speaker
You are able to duct tape your rock to your bat, and it is way, way too fucking heavy to be able to actually swing it accurately.
01:03:27
Speaker
So anytime that you swing your club, which would normally do a D8 of damage, you're only going to do a D4.
01:03:34
Speaker
Because the club is not strong enough to carry it?
01:03:39
Speaker
Because it is a, yeah, it's so unbalanced.
01:03:44
Speaker
It's yeah.
01:03:45
Speaker
So unbalanced that it is hard for you to actually swing it accurately.
01:03:50
Speaker
So, but theoretically someone else with better strength could swing it normally.
01:03:55
Speaker
Um, I'm going to say no, because the way you taped it on kind of makes it lopsided instead of trying to tape it to the middle.
01:04:03
Speaker
You basically just tried to slap it to the side.
01:04:09
Speaker
So I'm going to say it's just a very unbalanced weapon.
01:04:12
Speaker
Gotcha.
01:04:14
Speaker
Arthur feels proud of it.
01:04:18
Speaker
I'm glad he does.
01:04:20
Speaker
I'm pretty sure my family's got cards.
01:04:23
Speaker
Is that what you were saying before?
01:04:26
Speaker
Yeah, sorry.
01:04:27
Speaker
Didn't mean to go on that big of a derailment there.
01:04:30
Speaker
It's alright.
01:04:31
Speaker
I just... I'm just going to grab all the ones that y'all got.
01:04:36
Speaker
So I'm just going to grab all the
01:04:38
Speaker
plastic like gift cards and whatnot and just throw them in my pocket.
01:04:43
Speaker
Oh, okay.
01:04:45
Speaker
Hey, Arthur.
01:04:46
Speaker
Yeah.
01:04:47
Speaker
Your family wouldn't happen to have like kitchen knives or something in the back, would they?
01:04:52
Speaker
I mean, sometimes my dad would stay the night here at the shop.
01:04:57
Speaker
So he's probably got some utensils around.
01:05:00
Speaker
If not, scissors work as well, which I'm sure you got those.
01:05:03
Speaker
I would say your dad is 100% the kind of person that is going to eat like a TV dinner if he's staying here at night.
01:05:09
Speaker
So all the utensils he has is like plastic.
01:05:16
Speaker
So Ryan is going to find a nice sturdy pair of scissors and a broom or mop and make himself a makeshift spear, borrowing some of Arthur's duct tape.
01:05:26
Speaker
Okay.
01:05:26
Speaker
Do you also have a craft kind of skill?
01:05:29
Speaker
I do not.
01:05:31
Speaker
I was hoping scissors on end of pole would be simple.
01:05:37
Speaker
Yeah, go ahead and help him, Arthur.
01:05:40
Speaker
I don't know what that'll benefit, but I'll support you.
01:05:44
Speaker
We'll just, we'll have you guys roll on Arthur's craft.
01:05:48
Speaker
Okay, so you're rolling on a 20.
01:05:49
Speaker
All right.
01:05:52
Speaker
It's a 34 on a 20.
01:05:57
Speaker
Okay.
01:06:00
Speaker
Um, it's going to work.
01:06:03
Speaker
I'll give you that.
01:06:06
Speaker
But I'm going to say that you didn't really use enough duct tape to keep it like fully sturdy.
01:06:13
Speaker
So after a couple hits, I will have you roll for durability.
01:06:18
Speaker
To be honest, even if I had passed that, I assumed you were going to say the same thing.
01:06:22
Speaker
So no, if you pass that, you were going to use enough duct tape to actually keep it nice and sturdy.
Urgent Message and Mystery
01:06:29
Speaker
So I will let you roll a D6 for damage anytime you attack with that.
01:06:35
Speaker
All right.
01:06:37
Speaker
Do I get any reach benefits?
01:06:40
Speaker
Yeah.
01:06:43
Speaker
I don't assume that we're... Unlike D&D, I'm not going to have you do like, oh, you're not within five feet.
01:06:51
Speaker
But I will... I figured that.
01:06:55
Speaker
I was mostly asking so that way if I need to do something that's like further away I can use the spear to like reach further and I just wanted to make sure I could put that in my notes yes okay um Samantha roll me an alertness more spiders I quit it's a 61 out of 65 61 on a 65
01:07:27
Speaker
As you are walking around the store, you hear a ding.
01:07:40
Speaker
And I need Ned, Arthur, and Ryan to remove your headsets.
01:07:54
Speaker
You succeeded on your alertness check.
01:07:59
Speaker
And you heard a ding.
01:08:01
Speaker
That ding was your phone going off.
01:08:05
Speaker
Sam immediately pulls her phone out of her pocket to check it.
01:08:11
Speaker
You check it.
01:08:12
Speaker
You have one new text message.
01:08:13
Speaker
It is not to the group message.
01:08:15
Speaker
It is just to you.
01:08:18
Speaker
And it is Ashley.
01:08:19
Speaker
Ashley.
01:08:21
Speaker
she lets out a small sigh of relief getting a message back from her and she opens it to read it.
01:08:31
Speaker
You take out your phone.
01:08:33
Speaker
You see it's a text from Ashley.
01:08:35
Speaker
You open it.
01:08:36
Speaker
It is a quick, simple text message.
01:08:38
Speaker
It says, I think I am in the basement of the movie theater and there is something here with me.
01:08:45
Speaker
Please help me.
01:08:50
Speaker
Sam's heart kind of like skips a beat because she's extremely worried about Ashley and she'll quickly type back where she quickly types back we're on our way to the movie theater we just stopped at Arthur's parents shop and picking up supplies are you okay
01:09:15
Speaker
Your text message goes through and you see the text bubbles coming back out.
01:09:20
Speaker
And the text that comes back says, I'm in one piece, but I don't know how much longer I will be able to say that for.
01:09:31
Speaker
Can you see anything around you?
01:09:33
Speaker
You see another one come through before you send another one that says, where's Chris?
01:09:37
Speaker
Where's Chris?
01:09:39
Speaker
Sam, she looks at the message where it says, where is Chris?
01:09:44
Speaker
And she's confused.
01:09:48
Speaker
And she starts texting back, relaying what happened and asking if she remembers any of that.
01:09:57
Speaker
She texts back and says, after lighting the...
01:10:05
Speaker
Stuff for the ritual on fire.
01:10:07
Speaker
Everything went black for me and I woke up here.
01:10:11
Speaker
Samantha texts back.
01:10:14
Speaker
Well, no, she doesn't text back.
01:10:15
Speaker
She tries to call Ashley.
01:10:18
Speaker
The phone goes instantly to voicemail.
01:10:21
Speaker
She gets a little frustrated and she starts texting and says, what does the room look like that you're in?
01:10:28
Speaker
Does everything look disheveled or does it look normal?
01:10:32
Speaker
You get a text back with a picture and you can see that everything, it looks almost like a storage area.
01:10:42
Speaker
You see reels of movies.
01:10:46
Speaker
You see bags of popcorn seeds.
01:10:49
Speaker
You see jugs of the oil that they cook the popcorn in.
01:10:53
Speaker
Everything looks normal.
01:10:55
Speaker
It doesn't look a rundown like everything else has been?
01:11:00
Speaker
Nope.
01:11:01
Speaker
Looks like they could open up the movie theater tonight and everything would be fine.
01:11:05
Speaker
Sam, again, is very confused because it kind of looks like the exact same room that they're currently in and just sends a message.
01:11:15
Speaker
Hang in there.
01:11:16
Speaker
We're on our way.
01:11:18
Speaker
She texts back.
01:11:19
Speaker
Please hurry.
01:11:21
Speaker
There is something here.
01:11:23
Speaker
And I hear loud footsteps coming close to me.
01:11:27
Speaker
And with that, I will get everybody else back in.
01:11:29
Speaker
Oh, also, before I get everyone else back in, I need you to remove 2% from your phone battery.
01:11:38
Speaker
2% from my phone battery.
01:11:41
Speaker
I have to look back at my notes to find out what it even was.
01:11:45
Speaker
Okay, go ahead and figure that out while I'm getting everyone back.
01:11:48
Speaker
Okay.
01:11:59
Speaker
So as you guys are ransacking the store, trying to find anything that you can, you see... You know what?
01:12:07
Speaker
The three of you, Ned and Ryan and Arthur, I want you all to give me alertness.
01:12:19
Speaker
Fail.
01:12:21
Speaker
Fail.
01:12:22
Speaker
You don't see shit.
01:12:22
Speaker
Alertness of 65 out of 29.
01:12:27
Speaker
61 on a 64.
01:12:29
Speaker
Just barely.
01:12:31
Speaker
You see Samantha is off on her own on the other side of the store and you see something glowing up, lighting up her face.
01:12:41
Speaker
Hey, Samantha, do you find something over there?
01:12:45
Speaker
What?
01:12:46
Speaker
Huh?
01:12:47
Speaker
Sam looks up real quick from her phone and goes, not really something, but...
01:12:54
Speaker
We need to make it to the movie theater.
01:12:56
Speaker
We need to get moving now.
01:12:57
Speaker
I just got a message from Ashley saying that she's in the basement of the movie theater.
01:13:03
Speaker
What?
01:13:05
Speaker
That seems really convenient.
01:13:09
Speaker
Yeah, something's not right.
01:13:11
Speaker
It also seems like maybe I wasn't that wrong.
01:13:13
Speaker
She pulls up the picture that was sent as well, showing them the storage room and how everything looks normal as well.
01:13:27
Speaker
Now I'm worried about the movie theater.
01:13:31
Speaker
I'm worried about Charlie and Lance.
01:13:35
Speaker
Why would you say that?
01:13:36
Speaker
We need to go.
01:13:37
Speaker
If she's in the movie theater locked up in a cellar or something, I might not have been so wrong about to not trust them.
01:13:43
Speaker
We don't know that they're the ones who put her down there.
01:13:45
Speaker
She said there's something in there with her.
01:13:50
Speaker
We got to get over there and see what's going on.
01:13:52
Speaker
Sam clicks this button on her phone and puts it in her pocket and gets ready to leave.
01:13:59
Speaker
As you guys are getting ready to leave... I saw this in the group chat.
01:14:06
Speaker
What's the cliffhanger we're going to leave on today?
01:14:12
Speaker
And it's funny that you ask that.
01:14:15
Speaker
Because as you guys are getting ready to leave... You walk past a...
01:14:22
Speaker
full length mirror and it's a novelty mirror and it says get your picture taken with Sasquatch and it's got Sasquatch just kinda on the side of the mirror and Arthur you have seen so many people in here before stand next to that mirror and take a picture posing with the Sasquatch that they can see in there
01:14:53
Speaker
And you see Frank staring back at you from the other side of the mirror.
Cliffhanger Ending with Frank
01:15:02
Speaker
And that's where we're going to end the session.
01:15:05
Speaker
See, I told you it's the in between.
01:15:10
Speaker
Oh, good point.
01:15:13
Speaker
We are not in the normal realm.
01:15:17
Speaker
We're somewhere.
01:15:22
Speaker
Man, this is fucking noise.
01:15:26
Speaker
That's good.
01:15:26
Speaker
I like it.
01:15:27
Speaker
Well, it's great that we figured that out now.
01:15:30
Speaker
Now what?
01:15:33
Speaker
We all die.
01:15:36
Speaker
I mean, it would be really good if you guys could figure out how to get back to the to the real world.
01:15:44
Speaker
Well, tell us, God damn it.
01:15:46
Speaker
Well, I can't tell you.
01:15:48
Speaker
The story would be really boring if I told you how to beat my game.
01:15:53
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:15:54
Speaker
Quick, everyone read the last page of the book.
01:15:57
Speaker
You, you, the one jokes on you, bitch.
01:15:59
Speaker
The last page isn't written yet.
01:16:04
Speaker
You would want us to try to get back.
01:16:06
Speaker
Cause then we run face first into everything you have set up for us.
01:16:09
Speaker
I mean, that is also very true.
01:16:12
Speaker
I do indeed want you guys to get back.
01:16:15
Speaker
Oh,
01:16:15
Speaker
I gotta roll my alertness to level up.
01:16:18
Speaker
Me too.
01:16:21
Speaker
I meant to keep track of that, and I forgot.
01:16:23
Speaker
I got two?
01:16:24
Speaker
We should probably sign off first.
01:16:27
Speaker
Oh, yeah.
01:16:29
Speaker
Bye, everybody.
01:16:30
Speaker
Oh, yeah, you guys are still here.
01:16:32
Speaker
Hey, hey, hey, I still have an outro to do.
01:16:37
Speaker
So, yeah.
01:16:38
Speaker
You just wait.
01:16:43
Speaker
Isn't that what the mid-roll is for?
01:16:45
Speaker
Fucking, I'll get there.
01:16:47
Speaker
I got an outro up in my brain.
01:16:50
Speaker
Up in my head.
01:16:51
Speaker
I have an outro up here.
01:16:53
Speaker
You just fucking wait.
01:16:56
Speaker
I'm waiting.
01:17:02
Speaker
Yeah, I got nothing.
01:17:04
Speaker
You still don't have a fucking outro?
01:17:06
Speaker
We're on episode nine?
01:17:08
Speaker
That was the joke.
01:17:12
Speaker
I shouldn't have to explain that that was the joke, but that was a joke.
01:17:16
Speaker
Thank you guys.
01:17:17
Speaker
It's always better when you explain.
01:17:19
Speaker
Yeah.
01:17:21
Speaker
Thank you guys, everybody for,
01:17:25
Speaker
sticking around, especially to this late in the episode, after all our, uh, after game shenanigans.
01:17:31
Speaker
Um, don't forget.
01:17:32
Speaker
We are very active on our socials.
01:17:33
Speaker
We got a Twitter, we got a Facebook, we got a Reddit, we got an Instagram.
01:17:37
Speaker
We have, uh, our episodes are up on YouTube.
01:17:40
Speaker
If you like what you hear, if you have comments, go,
01:17:43
Speaker
go to the YouTube and let us know because that is a very easy place to comment.
01:17:47
Speaker
Also leave us a rating on Apple podcasts.
01:17:50
Speaker
If you like what you hear, because that helps us get into more people's ear holes and that will help us grow as a podcast.
01:17:59
Speaker
You can leave us a rating wherever, but Apple is really the one that likes to recommend us to other people.
01:18:06
Speaker
Do you guys have anything you would like to add?
01:18:11
Speaker
Bye bitches.
01:18:13
Speaker
Thanks for listening.
01:18:17
Speaker
Bye.
01:18:18
Speaker
Join us next time when we almost die again.
01:18:21
Speaker
Hey, wait.
01:18:22
Speaker
No, no, no.
01:18:22
Speaker
I've got one.
01:18:23
Speaker
I got one thing.
01:18:24
Speaker
Oh.
01:18:25
Speaker
Can you guys buy us Taco Bell?
01:18:28
Speaker
Oh, that'd be dope.
01:18:28
Speaker
Who really likes a Taco Bell?
01:18:32
Speaker
You guys and Taco Bell.
01:18:33
Speaker
None of that Taco John shit.
01:18:35
Speaker
Hey, Potato Olays.
01:18:37
Speaker
Oh, shit.
01:18:38
Speaker
There went my phone.
01:18:41
Speaker
It's a ghost.
01:18:44
Speaker
We'll see you guys in two weeks.
01:18:46
Speaker
Have a good one, guys.
01:18:47
Speaker
Bye!
01:19:19
Speaker
Let's Play Pretend is Nick Barnett as Ned Dalaran, Breck Black as Ryan Winchester, Matt Check as Arthur Gooseberg, Melanie Derringer as Samantha Williams, and me, Jordan Derringer, as your GM, DM, handler, keeper, and host.
01:19:35
Speaker
Keep up with us to hear firsthand on any fun new developments that may be coming in the future.
01:19:39
Speaker
There's going to be fun new developments coming in the future.
01:19:42
Speaker
And we will see you all here in two weeks' time.
01:19:46
Speaker
Let's play pretend!
01:19:47
Speaker
Yeah!