Transcript
Speaker: Watch that. Let's do it. Listeners of this show know me best as...
Speaker: listeners of this show know me best as Andy Franzine, born and raised in Texas. But just like Colbert, when it was The Rapport, I've simply been playing a character, y'all.
Speaker: Now in lice of recent events, in light of recent events, did I say lice? It's time to embrace my true identity. Andy Franzine, born and raised in Minnesota.
Speaker: um And I'm a South Dakota man with a Minnesota heart.
Speaker: Did I write South when it's North? Yeah, but I read it. I read it and like, man, whatever, I'm going with it. yeah It's on the page. Yeah. oh Ladies and jerbs, this week we have an exciting show planned for you with not one but two special guests.
Speaker: in the blue corner at six, one weighing buck 60, maybe, uh, hailing from Las Vegas, Nevada. It's Cambo laces out slice.
Speaker: Hey, I haven't been a buck six in many, many, many years. but but
Speaker: And then let's hope I'm as accurate with our next guest in the red corner. At 5'2", weighing 100 even. You can't verify that because this is audio.
Speaker: Making his u-bike that debut, it's Martin!
Speaker: yeah and Thank you for the intro. That's very nice. And yes, I do weigh 100 pounds when I was in 7th grade. That's perfect.
Speaker: Martin, thanks for coming to the show. No, very happy to be here, guys. ah Listeners, our our six or seven listeners will know you best from your appearances in the You Vike That season 2025 commercials.
Speaker: Right. With our commercial czar Cambo sitting in the blue corner. Cammon, how'd you find Martin? How did we get so lucky?
Speaker: I walked up down the hall. Martin and I worked together. Yeah. Okay. And everybody else was actually doing work. And he's like, well, you're not doing anything. i was like, yeah, so what? No.
Speaker: So ah but Martin and i have a ah lot yucks at work. So yeah when when it came time for some comedy, I i knew if he was the guy. so Oh, yeah. Some of these commercials, especially the first one, my and immediate reaction definitely was, yuck.
Speaker: Hey, it's time for questions and comments. Martin, yeah where were you born and raised? I was born in Bethesda, Maryland. It used to be called ah Bethesda Naval Hospital, which is now Walter Reed. I was a military brat, so I lived all over the place. I lived in Louisiana, Colorado, Germany, Alaska, and then i joined the military myself.
Speaker: Wow. um How long were you in Bethesda? um I think about, I don't know, two, three years before we moved back down to Louisiana.
Speaker: So you don't remember it much. That's safe to say. No, I have crystal clear memories of my time there. um Beautiful Bethesda is what I recall. it buts Lots of lobster rolls.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. A lot of, you know, that lobster rolls, a lot of East Coast stuff. Yeah. um How does your time in Alaska compare to this winter, Martin?
Speaker: It is literally nothing compared to like a winter in Alaska. Yeah. Well, you guys have winter. We don't really have winter. Right, Ken? Yeah. are in Las Vegas. And holy jeez, think it down to 42 the other night. Right.
Speaker: we are in las vegas and ne event and holy i think it got down to forty two the other night right Yeah. Yeah. So I have all these great sweaters that I haven't worn in like 20 years, but they might be dated now. They're more like Cosby sweaters now, but whatever.
Speaker: Right. You can see the sex offenders. or so It's a strong look. no Martin, how did you meet? um Do you remember the moment when you met Cam in here?
Speaker: Was there a choir of angels? It was. It was. All I heard was music, you know, and there's like this ray of light, you know. And ah no, we ah yeah what's funny is I started um where we work. We were for Clark County and I started during the pandemic. So everybody was working remotely.
Speaker: which is a really weird time to start a job. But, uh, so we literally, we would have to meet, you know, to do like inspections together. Uh, I'd go out and meet them on site and stuff like that. But I think, I think it became clear pretty, so pretty early on that, you know, Cam is super glib, great sense of humor. And, uh, I truly appreciate that. So yeah, we kind of hit it off from the start from the jump and, Besides that, he's wicked good at his job, knows his shit inside and out, so he's he's kind of ah a sounding board for me at work.
Speaker: Well, this is the most good things anyone's said about Cam in this league. Well, he he paid and good money, and so I want to honor that commitment.
Speaker: but Feel free to make as many soundbites as he can. Well, he's also huge. I mean, he's just such a big guy.
Speaker: but Hey-oh. Hey. hey um Cameron, do you remember when you met Martin? Were you like, man, this guy's going to record commercials with me someday for podcast? Yeah.
Speaker: podcasts Yeah, yeah, no, um martin Martin, like you said, he came to us during the pandemic. um I actually had a little bit of hand in training him. Yep. And ah he started as an inspector, which is what what I'm currently doing. And then ah we have sort of, now we have sort of a good cop, bad cop dynamic. So I'm in the bad cop, I'm an inspector, and Martin works for what we call our small business assistants. So he actually gets to help.
Speaker: people and I write big times. So, um, yeah, sometimes I'm jealous. I wish I was, I got to be the good cop, but, um, great, great as a job.
Speaker: So do you do like a once a month opposite day or something where you just get to flip for funsies? Oh, maybe we could do like a freaky Friday. Right. Yeah. Freaky. Yeah, you should, Cam, and honestly, when Wally retires, you've got to jump over. It's it's awesome. It's a cake.
Speaker: Get to be the good guy. They won't let me, but it's... No, they won't. You're done. It is, but it is. Martin, we heard you're former serviceman.
Speaker: That's right. um We heard it from you, actually. look What can you tell us about that? um I was in the Navy for 10 and a half years. um I went in with the express purpose of of being a Navy SEAL. And for me, it started, I saw that that cheesy movie, Navy SEALs, with Charlie Sheen and Michael Biehn back in like 1991.
Speaker: ninety ninety one or 90 and uh and that was it i was sold and so ah for about a year i kind of thought about it and uh then i enlisted so i was dinking around in college just kind of bumping around went into the navy with 132 credits because i kept changing my degree yeah wow yeah so i got that going for me but yeah no i it worked out um i was a corpsman so as a medic uh special operations medic and then uh Went to BUDS, basic underwater demolition SEAL training, and graduated with BUDS class 195. And then eventually ended up after like airborne school and 18 Delta, which was a six-month combat trauma school, i went to SEAL Team 2, where I did a couple of deployments there and um spent some time in Bosnia, quite a bit of time in Bosnia back in the 90s, which was like
Speaker: the the big show in town. And then did some work in Africa, which is not any place care to go back to. And then I did a ah deployment with a special boat unit um where we did about 12,000 nautical miles on our deployment on these 82-foot speed boats.
Speaker: So... Uh, we, yeah, we call that a special bullet unit. Okay. if thou go If you could alter, you know, for our audience, our primary name. Understood. They don't know how know what you're saying. Right. Right. So, yeah. And then I got out in and, and,
Speaker: And it took me about seven years to get used to not being in the teams anymore. um I thought it would be easy. the The transition was kind of rough, but I had a background. And ah ah my first three years out, I ran an ambulance company out in San Diego. That was my first job. i was an ops manager.
Speaker: And then I went into medical device sales and stole i so sold endovascular products for a couple of startup companies. And i did ah orthopedic sales for a couple of years.
Speaker: And even did pharmaceutical sales, which I hated. And then I went back to operations. So I'm kind of happy to be back, you know, doing something that means something, you know, with the county. Yeah, I do feel very fortunate to land here after all these years.
Speaker: We feel fortunate for you to have landed at You Bike That podcast as well. Martin, I hope well when you tell your story that this easy here. Yeah, you know, and in for anybody that says that dreams don't come true, but I'm sorry. It's not true.
Speaker: They do. They do. And now I'm here. you're here. Loving proof. Hey, Martin, for someone who's who before today only heard of SEAL Team 6, is SEAL Team 2 like four degrees better than SEAL Team 6? Yeah.
Speaker: No, it's four degrees less. No. um No. so So in the teams, originally back in 1962, there was SEAL Team 1, West Coast, SEAL Team 2, East Coast. They both got stood up like within a day of each other.
Speaker: um And then over the years, they added more SEAL teams. Back in the day, yeah had underwater demolition teams, which is like our our forefathers that started back in World War II. And by the early 80s, the underwater demolition teams went away and everybody got folded into the SEAL teams.
Speaker: And they've added teams over the years. So now we have SEAL teams, you know, one through 10. Um, uh, the even numbered teams on the East coast, the odd number teams are on the the West coast and then seal team six, which actually doesn't exist. It's now called development group.
Speaker: Dev group, um, is, um, it, uh, uh, Naval air station, Oceana, um, right out there in Virginia beach. So, and I had a ton of friends, uh, that's, that have served there and some of them are still serving there. Um,
Speaker: Yeah, badasses. So in the teams, you have like the SEAL teams. And then if you want to go to DevGrew, which I did want to go, but my first wife, operative word, first wife, um wasn't hot on the idea of staying out Virginia Beach. So I screened positive for Green Team, which is a s selection course for DevGrew. um, back in 2001.
Speaker: two thousand And, uh, my wife at the time is very dead set to get back to San Diego. So I didn't take those orders. Um, I guess my life would have been very, very different had I gone DevGrew back in 2001. Um, because I have a lot of friends that, uh, went over in like
Speaker: And, they saw a lot, you know, but, uh, but yeah, so that was, uh, so the seal teams, you have the regular seal teams, uh, the vanilla seals, as we call ourselves. And then you have the Jedi Knights, uh, which is Dev grew. And, uh, So Green Team is a six-month-long selection course. So these are all experienced SEALs that go through ah very rigorous selection process and then eventually end up on Assault Teams, which there's four yeah four Assault Teams at DevGrew now.
Speaker: Wow. There's a whole world to learn. and Yeah, it's a different place. have no idea. It is a different place. Yeah. ah Jeff, you want to get into this one? Yeah.
Speaker: Martin, what makes you a Michigan State fan? Oh, no, no. University of Michigan. Go blue. oh Oh. Sorry. i disagree that loging yeah fair Fair point, Michigan State. So that means you are a Jamie McCarthy fan?
Speaker: Yeah, so no, I'm not. and i mean and not ah I will tell you, I will root for Sparty's. One of our co-workers, Ross, Cameron and I worked with Ross for year I worked with Ross a previous company. um He was a Sparty.
Speaker: And so we used to give each other rational shite like all the time. But ah my dad went to University of Michigan. He was ah graduated like in 65. And so when I was growing up, my stepdad, whenever Michigan was playing, was pretty much all stop in the house. Like you can stay inside.
Speaker: but you're going to watch the game or you need to go outside. So um you almost every year for the last probably 15, 20 years, i either go out there with my pop to see a game at at the big house, or we've gone to a couple games at like Northwestern because he lives just north of Chicago.
Speaker: So flying to Chicago picks me up and we either go to, you know, Evansville for a game down at Northwestern, or we go drive all the way out to Ann Arbor. so And I do. I love Michigan football. I'm not really happy with all the press they've had the last couple years, but yeah, it's it's a great tradition. and And Ann Arbor's gorgeous.
Speaker: Great place to see a football game.
Speaker: What's more beautiful, Ann Arbor or Bethesda? I would say Ann Arbor. Yeah. Bethesda's not shabby, but... Ann Arbor is amazing. Quintessential Collingetown. Beautiful.
Speaker: So you're more of a Glenn Rice guy and less of a Mateen Cleaves guy?
Speaker: Sure. I don't get the reference, but yeah. They were like late ninety s Mateen Cleaves played for for the Spartans and Glenn Rice played for Michigan.
Speaker: Yeah, and the the mix-up is is on me. That just shows i don't follow college. Michigan State and University Michigan, it's it's all the same to me. Wildly different. Although the schools are very close. No, I get it. I get it. There's a distinction.
Speaker: You were just trying to make me feel better for calling Jeff a South Dakota man instead of North Dakota man at the top of the show. Right. I appreciate it. yeah Or you you just call it the Dakota Territories. and Martin, are your thoughts thoughts on J.G. McCarthy?
Speaker: Oh, my God. You know what? You see it so often with these kids or these bright lights. I mean, was the who's the fucking guy and from Florida that went to Denver? Tebow. you know You know, you see it so often with these college quarterbacks, that especially when they go early. It's like it just doesn't transition well to the pros. and I was really hoping you were going to go with ah Tom Brady there.
Speaker: Well, yeah. tom Tom Brady worked out great. But he was not... What did he go through? Tom Hiddle? Seventh round or something like that. And I think that, if anything, if you go lower in the draft, I think that fuels your fire a little bit more because Tom Brady was just a fucking animal. but But anyway, yeah. So JJ McCarthy, he's been a flop. And I'm sad to see it because I think he's a nice kid. And I wish him well, but i he's just injury prone in the pros. I mean, I think he had...
Speaker: you had a great team around him at Michigan. And that makes any quarterback a great quarterback.
Speaker: Martin, who's your favorite NFL team? You know what? I, cause I moved around so much. um Like when i was a kid, we lived in Colorado Springs back in the seventies. So i was a Broncos fan. And then when I lived in Alaska, everybody rooted for the Seahawks. Cause that was the closest pro team to Alaska. So, you know, in this Superbowl, yeah, I'll root for the Seahawks, but no, I had it.
Speaker: I followed the Chargers for years when I was stationed and lived out in San Diego. But then they moved to L.A. And I wish we could have gotten the Chargers out here in Vegas versus, the you know, or and instead of the Raiders. you know because i'm the The Raiders and the Cowboys are probably my two least favorite teams ever.
Speaker: And we got the Raiders out here. So i can't get on board with that. But I wish we got the Chargers. L.A.' 's already got two teams. Or they already had a team. Right. That would have been fun. The Raiders really should have gone back to L.A.
Speaker: And yeah, I should have got, we should have have i got the Chargers. I 100% agree with you. We've been jumping the guns for over and over again. when Now we're getting the A's when we're on a short list for an expansion team.
Speaker: I mean, uh, and then they just jump in the gun and and get the A's who are literally the worst team in baseball. That's the whole, and no, but at least they're going to have like a $2 billion dollars that we're paying for. we'll park So,
Speaker: Yeah, so that that's worth it. Yeah. the um If you guys want to talk baseball, start your own fucking podcast, okay? So when I look at San Diego, it's a huge cadre. We're getting a little long here. and we haven't We haven't played a commercial yet, so...
Speaker: Well, Martin brought it up. ah this is a This is a segment of the show, Martin. It's everyone's third favorite segment. We spend 60 seconds on the Vikings or Vikings adjacent material. We call this one the Mjolnir Minute.
Speaker: Andy, do you have your timer ready? Timer.
Speaker: Starting the timer now. So, Super Bowl preview. We got Sam arnold sam Darnold in the driver's seat. what do we business this Is this an alternate reality?
Speaker: He's the one that got away. right Would the Vikings have got anywhere close with him this year? It's possible.
Speaker: i mean I mean, if he's playing the way he He's just so inconsistent, and we saw that last year. I mean, the last two games he played with the Vikings, he looked like a fucking high school quarterback.
Speaker: So I was there for one of them. It was atrocious. So I wish him all the best. um Go Seahawks for sure. yeah um greatest Greatest Seahawk tight end of all time. Anyone have an opinion?
Speaker: ah think it's Mike Tice. What? I'm going to sort of tie for you. That a good tie. Yeah. I have my Minnesota tie in the closet. Should I go get it? Hey, that's been... Are we all picking Seahawks?
Speaker: I think we are. When the alternative is the they who shall not be named. Yeah. Right? 100%. All right. Go Hawks. Now it's time to get to what we're actually here for. But that was a delightful conversation, Martin. We'd we'd love to have you back someday. We'll see you next season.
Speaker: ah You know, what happens next season, and um I'm sure you'll just feel like a void whenever you're not recording this show on the weekends. It will, yeah.
Speaker: for The reason you're here today is because you were a featured talent um on multiple commercials in our league. And we thought it would be great to to talk about them, listen to to them together, um give Cam the opportunity to provide any context that's necessary. And after the commercials, we have a brief discussion. Martin, have you...
Speaker: I assume you heard these after they were finished. Is that correct? ah Yes, I have. Okay. And have you listened to them since the... Well, you know, the funny thing is, I i just, I love my voice, so I listen to them every day.
Speaker: Of course. No, I'm just kidding. Of course. It's this alarm to wake them up in the morning. Hey, buddy. Hey, buddy. I need some positive reinforcement, you know,
Speaker: affirmations i just i played this the commercials and i'm like you know what it's gonna be okay but no um last night actually camon sent me a couple uh via text a couple of the recordings and so i played him for my wife last night because i kind of forgotten i had them and i knew we were doing this podcast today and i was like oh hey yeah so by the way that's this is what we were doing at work because uh it's a serious job environmental work is serious And there's no time for tomfoolery or shenanigans, but somehow we we we we were able to fit it in.
Speaker: Certain things just feel even better when you're doing them on the clock, you know? Yeah. You know, it's like I could, like, you know, make a commercial with Camden or just, you know, take a dump, you know?
Speaker: That's where I was thinking. That's my favorite. Oh, my God. where I know. I'm being paid to do this. Yes. Exactly. It's even better when you have a large scale that you can weigh yourself on before and after. That's awesome.
Speaker: Oh, that one was a two-digiter. Oh, man. i i I feel I just lost so much weight. Yeah. Now I can run that marathon.
Speaker: That's right. he's Yeah. Well, let's get right into it. Week two was the debut of our first commercial. um Kamen, without giving it away, ah do you have any setup for this before we listen?
Speaker: ah So just a ah ah big shout out to Mike, who is the voice behind this one. I... i as ah As a white guy, I'm always cautious of writing in a black voice.
Speaker: um And i gave him the script. I went and did an inspection. yep um And part of me walked away from that conversation like, I think I might end up in HR's office. Yeah.
Speaker: and that's because Hey, Cameron, is it because the conversation started like, hey, Mike, you're black. that's good Is that how it started? That's start. that's where i got now that was a yeah that was That was part of it.
Speaker: um And then he is amazing. yes yeah And I get this text message like an hour and a half, two hours after I gave him the script. And he completely rewrote it.
Speaker: And ah l he wrote it, you know, in a black voice, which I, ah which is necessary for, as as you guys will hear. Of course. so You created the architecture for it. made of The framework yes framework. Yes. Thank you. This one, um I have to give all the credit to Mike.
Speaker: So go ahead and fire it off. Cool.
Speaker: Hey, it's Diddy. Today I'm bringing y'all an exclusive. Y'all know I throw the best parties ever, right? Now I'm trying to help y'all throw the best freak off parties ever.
Speaker: Ever since I've been on trial, y'all been asking me about the baby oil, all my DMs and my mentions. And that's why today I'm here to bring y'all the exclusive. Bad Boy Baby Oil.
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Speaker: Maxa, playboy, I know you got that money. And I know that you won that championship. Maxa, you need to buy some of this baby oil. yes You need to buy some of this baby oil before I shove this Syrah bottle up your ass.
Speaker: Either way, peace and love. Brother love, out.
Speaker: He he yeah requested that song. We did it in one take. He's a rock star. um Absolutely. Yeah. yeah yeah This whole time I thought that was Martin. Yeah. Yeah. yeah good Because Cam, he's like, hey, Martin, could you write this in a black voice? was like, I'll try.
Speaker: And I think I nailed it. Yeah. yeah Nailed it. Wow. um That was so good. Great commercial.
Speaker: So good. Since ah we ah the 50 Cent ah ah doc came out. So we recorded this, oh man, last spring? So it's been a minute.
Speaker: um That Cassie line, I didn't get until I saw saw the documentary. And then it clicked like, oh shit, I didn't know who Cassie was. but I don't follow this shit.
Speaker: but That 50 Cent doc, man, if you if you guys haven't seen it, it snow it's crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. yeah Fucking Tupac, bro. like They've known who killed Tupac for 20 fucking years.
Speaker: Yeah. it's Really? Crazy. Yeah. Yeah, the documentary is actually very good. The police have known who killed Tupac since it happened. And they just never did anything.
Speaker: Oh my god. yeah great All the sex stuff was ah was just icing. like I didn't know anything about the ah Tupac baby murders. that's yeah Watch it if you haven't seen it. The murder reveal. Because it's multi-part documentary, right?
Speaker: Yeah. yeah I think it's like four or five episodes. Yeah, that sounds right. The Tupac stuff episode two. okay yeah The later episodes were more sex.
Speaker: Mischief. i watch this I watched the first one and it just then, you know, got busy. so Watch episode. If you're going to stop, watch episode two.
Speaker: I wasn't stopping. It's still on my list. No, I'm saying you could you can stop after episode two. Oh, yeah? that that That's really... That's where you you can start. That shit blew my mind. I'll have to amend my five questions answer from earlier this season then, I guess.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: Of course. ah What a start. What a way to kick off commercials for You Bike Dad Season 2025. What a way to kick out our kick off our commercials retrospective.
Speaker: Where do we go from here, Cam? And what do we do in week three? How did you follow that up? Yeah, so I did ah an Arnold impression.
Speaker: um get that I've always thought it's just the concept of Arnold not being aware that they continue to make predator movies after he made his first predator movie was just funny to me.
Speaker: So in a world where ah Arnold is is blissfully, ah you know, unaware of this fact, um I came up with this movie promotional.
Speaker: So. This is me doing Arnold. I don't actually, I think it's terrible, but I've been told it's it's passable.
Speaker: And this is Martin's. This week's episode of You Bite That is sponsored by none other than the governor himself, Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has agreed to take a quick Zoom call to give us the lowdown on his next big movie project.
Speaker: Hello, Mr. Schwarzenegger. Over here, sir. hi Hello Yes. Mr. Schwarzenegger, how are you? Please, call me Arnold. Okay, Arnold. Thank you so much for choosing this league-specific fantasy football podcast to mention your next movie. It looks like Jungle behind you. Can you tell us where you are?
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, I'm down here in Panama, shooting the long-awaited sequel to Predator. Predator 2! Uh, there already is a sequel, sir. There's actually quite a few Predator movies.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, no. No, I only made the one Predator. Remember when I said, get to the chopper! Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I remember. It was a classic. They made Predator 2 without you. It starred Danny Glover.
Speaker: It came out a few years after the first one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. No. Okay, well, we've heard you're a fan of the show. Is it true you're a listener?
Speaker: Yeah, I like how you guys are always busting the balls, like Andy is from Texas, and how Brian does always send in the bad trade off us. It's funny stuff. Oh, and somebody tell that Cammon guy.
Speaker: We all know his passport isn't expired. It's like we get it already. You like to travel. huh i See, I bust the balls too. Well, that's great to hear, sir.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah. I also heard about friend of the show Maggie and her medical scare in the offseason. I just want to say, Maggie, it's not a tumor. Ha, ha, ha. I kid, but we love you, Maggie. You are the real Olympian.
Speaker: Oh, that's nice of you to say. Yeah, yeah. Do you remember when I won all those Mr. Olympia tiles? My muscles were huge. I do, sir. Well, we're running out of time, and I would be remiss if I didn't try to get any info about Predator 2, the second one.
Speaker: Yeah, yeah, so I wake up in the jungle next to my old Special Forces buddy, played by Jesse Ventura. But we don't know how we got there. Then we team up with a Yakuza member, a cartel assassin, an African warlord, and a death row inmate to try to figure out what's happening to us.
Speaker: But here's the kicker. We're not even on Earth. It's a hunting planet for the predator monsters, and we have to fight to survive. Arnold, sir, that's the exact plot of Predators. They came out 15 years ago and started Adrian Brody.
Speaker: Also, Jesse Ventura's character died in the first Predator. I believe he took a laser cannon to the chest.
Speaker: Give me my agent!
Speaker: but's Bravo. Kevin, of all your impressions, I do think that is your best. Thank you. um I actually texted ah Maggie that ah joke and and I got a big ah ah ah l LOL. So I figured it was, ah I got the green light to use it in the in the promo.
Speaker: Yeah. So she's a trooper. We love Maggie. We do. Did she hear the final version? Yeah. I don't know. Does she listen to the show?
Speaker: We should ask first We're going to send her this one for sure. All the commercials in one place. Yeah, we'll have to timestamp so she can listen again and again and again, skip to.
Speaker: Right. There's no way to send her just the commercial itself. No. She hasn't. Yeah. all Right. This is the way. Right. Hey, that's great context that Maggie approved.
Speaker: The joke, of course, we're very happy for her recovery. I'm removing the non-tumor mass from her brain. Right. what an and what a What a crazy story.
Speaker: And to be so positive to ah through it all is, yeah, it's how to admit to her character. Martin, what did you think of Cameron's um performance? Ronald. I actually thought I was talking to Arnold.
Speaker: And, you know, I still, I listen to it. and Just an awe. You know, just an awe. It is. All right. It's a brush with greatness. You mean you're an ah? ah I've talked to Arnold half a dozen times or so in my life. I'm an Arnold. Similar. It's not a tumor.
Speaker: but know Next commotion. No, no that honestly, is is Arnold is spot on. It's it's very good. don't know remember, I did one ah last last year before we did the commercials.
Speaker: think I did a... Oh, it was an intro. That's what it was. You did an intro. Yes, that was very good. Yeah, I think I worked at the ah ah house house housekeeper. yeah It was the main joke. That's a good angle, as it were.
Speaker: right oh Week four, Cam, and this is a shorter commercial than the last one. Yeah, so this is starring Martin and my lovely sister, Felicia, who is in a few of the commercials.
Speaker: Okay. So you're going to hear her later as a meth addict. Cool. yeah
Speaker: She's always... Okay, in a later commercial, right? Yes, see yes, not in this one. Okay. not in that Later. So my ah my only direction on um this one was ah I just, I said, just be a stone cold weirdo.
Speaker: ten Okay. yeah in the
Speaker: And then she she took the direction well. Perfect. Let's go to the tape. Awesome. This episode of You Like That is brought to you by Squarespace, a company that believes in a future where everyone can be an entrepreneur.
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Speaker: find these people
Speaker: That one's just good. That one's just good. The concept, you know. It's so so wacky. It's awesome. awesome like And by the way, i i don't know where i turns I have a sculpture right here. that not escape Wow. you got For those of you listening at home, Martin's actually a customer.
Speaker: Yeah. Is it $40, $45? not just sculpture. I'm an avid customer. ala how they run i'm an avid customer Did you get a discount, Martin?
Speaker: I do not. I do not. I pay full price and I don't care. So I assume you provide the material and you have to pay for the craftsmanship. That is true. And it is craftsmanship because nobody else works in that particular media. so who We'll have to get a you'd like that promo code going.
Speaker: We will.
Speaker: we will Martin, we actually had a discount, a uvike.net discount promo code briefly for our the member of our team who's a photographer and sells some of his photos on an Etsy store. That was was... I don't think anyone used it, but i it was cool. Jeff used it. That's right, Jeff. No, that's that's cool that you don't support your friend. That's cool.
Speaker: No, definitely not. No way. I support them with my voice. like camon with his voice yeah and and your presence i'm sure that and that's a gift thank you yes yes yes uh week five camon um i think this might be another felicia performance it is uh so the only thing you know going back uh we we learned um
Speaker: probably about halfway through these that recording these in the conference room right next to our HR director was probably not a great idea. um So I ended up Martin Martin's scream at the end was subdued for good reason for what I just said.
Speaker: So it's a little jarring at the end. I actually had I dropped in like a what do you call it? Like a soundbite. I got off the internet. youll You guys will hear.
Speaker: That's not Martin. And it's, it's a so later later on, we figured out that the parking lot in our cars was, a we're able to, you but yeah, it's a better studio than the conference room.
Speaker: um you'll You'll hear it again in the Vikra. it's just The conference room had an echo. Right? The conference room had an echo. You just you couldn't sound proof it correctly. It was. Sure. Yeah. No, I think we just didn't want to get in trouble. so
Speaker: The walls are paper thin. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody actually came in and said that they could hear us. and Wow. My boss. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. was cool, by the way. but We'll send him this episode.
Speaker: yeah Yeah. Well, I'll definitely send it her. Yeah. ah Awesome. Shout out to Jennifer. Jennifer. yeah honor This one goes to Jennifer then?
Speaker: sort Yeah. There you go. You ever feel like coffee and sodas just don't have the pick-me-up to get you through the day? This episode of You Like That is brought to you by methamphetamine.
Speaker: Let's hear a testimonial from someone that uses meth on a regular basis. I'm not sure if this is a good idea. Ice? Yeah, I love that shit. Why are you holding it? Who, me? No, I've never touched the stuff.
Speaker: Come on, man. Don't hold down on me. I need a fix. No, really. They just pay me to read the... Hey, she's got a knife. Cut, cut. Yeah, cut you is what I'm going to do if you don't give me that wallet and keys, motherfucker. so No, stay back.
Speaker: Stay back.
Speaker: Please smoke meth responsibly. Side effects may include paranoia, adding and dropping players repeatedly, excessive trade offers, loss of teeth, obsessively checking your lineup, and hallucinations. i would ah Such a good script, dude.
Speaker: Doesn't get enough play there. That last... Such a good script. yeah Yeah. That last stinger. That's the first time we we get a little AI music that incorporated. Oh, wow. I'm not a musician, so I had to rely on that.
Speaker: Oh, cool. That's right. On the little AI. I try not to use it. but Of course. But sometimes. Yeah, that, what's it called? A disclaimer at the end?
Speaker: Side effects? ah Yeah. That's so good. ah so good oh that was That was Martin reading at regular speed, and then I you know used the editing to speed it up. yeah the The editing is is is awesome.
Speaker: The editing is really great. yeah It was it was there was a lot lot of fun.
Speaker: Well, just does Felicia come back, or should we wait wait and see? She comes back in week eight. but I want to be surprised. Okay. all right ah So ah the next one. um Disclaimer.
Speaker: All of these are original weird shit that comes out of my brain it's except for this one. ah This, i I ripped off a Pete Holmes a skit.
Speaker: So I will post it in the Discord. um I have another one that I'm probably going rip off the next year. But... but so We appreciate your transparency, Kevin.
Speaker: Yes. We'll remember that when we submit this to award shows. Go ahead. ah it's It's basically a line line for line, except I just catered it to what we were doing here.
Speaker: Excellent. I think in the Pete Holmes skit, he was a ah he was like a James Bond type, and it was real vodka. And he was like, why are why am I drinking real vodka? It's Nobody's going to know when he got drunker and drunker.
Speaker: All right. Okay. Thank you. Oh, ah and ah the Eaker Distillery is in Duluth. It's a real place. I've been there. um Check it out.
Speaker: This episode of You Like That is brought to you by Vickra Distillery. Today I'm trying their Hay and Sunshine Whiskey distilled right here in the heart of Duluth, Minnesota. This is a well-rounded, blended whiskey made with bourbon, rye, and scotch. I like mine straight over some ice.
Speaker: Oh, shit. This is actually whiskey? Yeah, it's in the contract to use real whiskey. But it's an audio medium. It's not like anyone's going to know. Vickra Distillery, take four.
Speaker: in This episode of You Like That. Cut. What now? It's You Like That, not You Like That. Take 11. This episode of You Like That is brought to you by um Viking Brewery.
Speaker: Take 17. Let me just listen to this song. please ah I think we're gonna need another bottle.
Speaker: Take 22.
Speaker: You like that? You like that? Who gives a fuck? Take 25. Very
Speaker: very nice.
Speaker: There was an extended version somewhere where ah Martin... talks about his dad i think it was like a yeah real moment yeah uh but i i i trimmed it for uh for time's sake but but also i was i was supremely drunk by that point of course so it's probably better you just edited that out but so um that was actually somebody i recorded somebody lighting a cigarette so i was that was a fun wow
Speaker: awesome Oh, and I bounced an empty bottle in my backyard. that Capture that on you. Yeah, i thought I believed it. I believed it like it was really happening. You know, was it the fully ah fully work. that's it Yeah, right. that That's what I was actually thinking about. Yeah. And and um shout out to. ah Sorry.
Speaker: Freesound.org. So. so It's a free website. um You know, you donate. There's bunch of different sounds that you can grab. Yeah.
Speaker: Check it out. It's cool. They have good clapping on free sound. I used quite a bit from free sound. And then what, what I couldn't find there. I i just, I was forced to make my myself. since Well, the commercial episode actually has a sponsor. Yeah. on This episode brought to you by free sound.
Speaker: Kevin, what do we, what do we have for week seven here? Any context, ah any setup needed? i don't know if there is. So, uh, this is my wife, uh,
Speaker: Annette and she is speaking in Hungarian. um
Speaker: i don't really know there, if we need to set up too much, okay so but she's basically telling me from bit to bit that the dog threw up. I need to clean it up.
Speaker: Why do you give the dog so much sausage? and then after And then later ah after all these years, you still don't know what the hell I'm saying.
Speaker: Um, and then she calls me an idiot and I say, i love you too. um, there you go. So let's hear it.
Speaker: This episode of you like that is brought to you by Cambo's Hungarian translation services. Hi, Cameron here. Did you know Hungarian ranks amongst one of the hardest languages to learn for English speakers? As someone who's been married to my Hungarian born wife for over 15 years, I think I have a pretty good grasp on the language.
Speaker: I can help you translate. Let's try a sample translation. edaham a kuja scientist soonna ga mita taakkini lasiftakaishfa Okay. means dog, and I heard a question in there.
Speaker: I'm pretty sure she was asking me to walk the dog. See how easy that was? Let's try another. didn't say that. You're everywhere. You're sure you're sick. You're sick.
Speaker: I think that I have no idea what I'm talking about 15 years after 15 years. This is totally assomorító. You're mess. okay let's try one last one but name is samrotizanotiutta mimindi fugama shiinshmira bae ala as ataishnaa moitto i gotta be honest i got nothing on that last one but i mentioned hungarian ranks way up there amongst the hardest languages really mean a lot of it i swear was just gibberish yeah who yeah vo I love you too, honey.
Speaker: That's not what I said. Well, there you have it, folks. If you're looking for someone with a vague idea of what a Hungarian might be saying, to reach out to Campo's Hungarian Translation Services.
Speaker: A vague idea. so good. How many years have you been happily married? ah It'll be 16 this year.
Speaker: yeah um Been together another three years on top of that.
Speaker: Your services, your translation services speak for themselves. i So I will say I actually do understand quite a bit. um I can't speak any other way. But, you know, when they get going, i can't i at least I know what it's about.
Speaker: Like when they point at you and then yell? Right. Why do you guys keep calling me a sausage?
Speaker: Kohlbosk. that' sausage in Hungarian. Nice. Nice.
Speaker: I love that commercial. I'm a huge fan. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, that was a one. The next one, Cameron, um I think might need some like Midwest ah explanation or for the people that aren't. you know Sure. So, ah is the Menards commercial for anybody on the...
Speaker: West side of the country. That's a hardware store that's throughout the Midwest. um i read i I let Anna, shout out Anna, our other boss.
Speaker: um She's from Chicago and she was very ah aware of Menards. so you know So i they they're all the way in Chicago. Just little context.
Speaker: And then ah I just, I listened to lot of true crime. So I just thought it would be funny if, if this scenario happened. Let's do it. if
Speaker: This episode of You Like That is brought to you by Menards, as a hardware store dedicated to service and quality. Today we have a big celebration for Menards. Right here at the Eden Prairie location, we expect to serve our one millionth customer.
Speaker: That lucky someone is going to be surprised with $500 towards their purchase today and help showcase what Menards has to offer. We're going to call out their purchase cart item by item. It should be fun.
Speaker: It's going to be the guy in the blue-planned shirt with the trucker hat. Okay, here it comes.
Speaker: Whoa, what's all this? Sir, sir, you're a one millionth customer. Uh, what now? You just won $500 towards your purchase today. Uh, nah, man, I'm good.
Speaker: Nonsense. and Let's start ringing him up. Uh, did you just take my picture? Well, shit. Sir, what's your name? Uh, Randy, but... And are you from around this area? You shop here often?
Speaker: No, I'm a trucker. Just passing through. But really, I... Okay, okay. Our first item is... Oh, nice! A new hunting knife, I gotta admit. I treat myself to a new one every year. And then we're getting a shovel, black trash bags, and bleach, okay?
Speaker: Uh, I'm, uh... I'm cleaning out my shed. thought you said you weren't from around here.
Speaker: ah Anyway, next we have more cleaning supplies. Gloves and a hacksaw. just I just want to get this stuff and go, really, really, I'll pay. Zip ties, duct tape, and a gas can.
Speaker: um I think we need to call the police. Okay.
Speaker: Oops, there he goes. Save big money at Menards. Awesome. Oh, man. That was a good one, Kevin. Good sketch. That was fun.
Speaker: It was cool. Glad you didn't have to draw too much from your personal experience, you know, for that. At least I don't think so. Ha, ha, ha.
Speaker: Yeah, that was a classic one, though. um yeah Yeah. Our next one ah is is more of a league-specific inside joke, but it's pretty good.
Speaker: Do you want to set up at all, Camden, or should I play it? How you want to get it? you Andy, you want to speak to this one? this This one needs a little context, yeah but I was hoping you guys could help me put it together. I think it was two years ago that brian Brian's team became the future, right?
Speaker: He changed his team name to the future because he traded away his best players for high draft picks the next year. Is that correct? yes And he traded them to Jeffrey.
Speaker: who changed his team name to the present. Correct? Yeah, 22. And when he was also just sort of known in the league to send a lot of trade offers.
Speaker: And good um there was a controversy that I was wrapped up in. um i I think I was in Iceland or something. Passport-related. Passport-related controversy.
Speaker: and There was a time difference. I was tired. and i traded... I inadvertently traded my arguably my best player because didn't scroll down far enough on the trade.
Speaker: So when I saw the first player and I was like, that's actually a pretty good trace for me. um And then... ah wait, there's more, right? there's there was a i No, I didn't see it until the next week when I was looking for Cooper Cup.
Speaker: And then... And then, you know, in the spirit, ah we have a little bit of WWE w um going on in our league. So I tried to, like, you know, ham up the the rivalry. there's It was just just for fun. um Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah, Brian Wood, when we enabled pick trading, he really, really took charge of throwing in picks, draft picks.
Speaker: draft pick swaps that um that some members of the league weren't used to, you might say. and And there were almost no counter offers. So Brian would just ask for your first round pick and people, knowingly or not, would give it up, right? Yeah. Because the way that the Yahoo works is you see the players and then in like text below the players are are the pics that you're moving back and forth.
Speaker: So like if you looked at it quickly, you might not even really see the pics. The fine print. Yeah. right All right. little back little behind the scenes, I wanted this to actually start the season off.
Speaker: we didn't get Brian's audio until about halfway through the season. So he's, he just keeps letting us down. Right. Fuck you, Brian. i yeah yeah I mean, he, he was trying to, he was trying to barter on what we had to give him for this audio. And it was, Oh, all the, yeah all the sound effects. He specifically requested. so We got to hear this. We got to hear this. That's good. Let's,
Speaker: Are you having trouble filling your lineup because your team sucks? Then come on down to Brian's Bargain Pick Trade Barn where we've got deals that will blow your mind. A third round pick for your backup quarterback?
Speaker: Let's make a deal. Were you dumb enough to end up with two kickers? That might be worth a late round trade pick.
Speaker: Maybe you got drunk before the draft and picked your lineup alphabetically. I can't help. You're an alcoholic. I'm so crazy to make a deal, I might even trade my first round pick. until four So come on down to Brian's Bargain Pick Trade Barn, because if you don't, I'm going to load your inbox with offers anyways.
Speaker: i So that is me that's me saying you're an alcoholic. And I was the one that got drunk the track. That's the first time I heard that one. It was brilliant. Loved it. yeah It's awesome. It was fun.
Speaker: I've got to say the ju so good juxtaposition of banjo music And laser blasts was something that's probably never been done. Juxtaposition. That's awesome. In media at all.
Speaker: Right. I mean, I've been to a bunch of Bela Fleck concerts and never. He doesn't have that laser blaster.
Speaker: Well, he needs to get one. Yeah. you Yeah. It's time. it's Fuck you, Brian. yeah All right. Next up, Weeks 10 and 11 had the same um commercial for a very special reason.
Speaker: Right. Should we play it? or the The reason is both both of our special guests for two weeks in a row were from the same hometown. Yeah, we probably didn't tell that. Every week, Martin, we have three, right?
Speaker: From that town? Yeah. Right? think it's only Jared and Zach. Doesn't it dunk her like that? No, we can say he doesn't. Okay, my bad.
Speaker: we But we tracked ah Martin once, you know, we send around a toaster um to the worst team in the league. it It puts the Vikings logo on a piece of toast.
Speaker: That's ah hilarious. Called the Skullster. The Skullster. That's right. So and you have to post at least one photo of you with Vikings toast. And if you're the keeper of the Skullster, now there's a there's a plaque. You have to use your name.
Speaker: should be it should be weekly. It should be weekly pieces of toast. we we can it should be. People don't do it. That's awesome. netflix And if they don't do it, then they they can just load up on different toast picks.
Speaker: Yeah, just save them in your camera roll. Right? Just take them. Yeah. 12 shirts. Shout out to Tim. He had the best toast picks we've ever seen. But anyway, we can talk about that. We can send some to you, Martin, later.
Speaker: Thank you. Thank you very much. Came in and gave us a trophy that also goes with the sch schoolster and chronicles the schoolster. So. So good. yeah But anyway, one season we were trying to get Nick in Lakeville to send the Skullster to Zach in Delano.
Speaker: And he just wasn't sending it, wasn't sending it. So then we made a bit where we tracked the journey of the Skullster. And we looked up Google reviews for parks and businesses on the way. Good. like parks and businesses on the way good I love it. It was fun. It was a lot of fun. But this is Delano. Sorry.
Speaker: Spoiler alert. This is Delano. Let's hear about everything i that's in it is actually correct. so then ah second This week's episode of You Like That is brought to you by the Tourism Board for Delano, Minnesota, which consists of Frank, who's also in charge of refilling the vending machine at City Hall.
Speaker: Hey, man, come visit Delano. We're about a 40-minute drive northwest to Minneapolis, and we have a lot to offer. We've got the Ice Palace of Minnesota, the Imagine Movie Theater, and a pretty decent subway.
Speaker: Last time I checked, it had three and a half stars. That's good, right?
Speaker: Come to Delano, Minnesota. We have two things to do and a Subway sandwich shop. Someone just told me the Ice Palace is closed for good. So a movie theater and a Subway?
Speaker: Damn. Come to Delano, Minnesota. We have one thing to in a Subway sandwich shop. Did we mention Grumpy Old Man was filmed here?
Speaker: Well, not all of it, but that's something. think there's a hockey player from here, too. Thanks, Frank. And would it kill you to stock some Flaming Hot Cheetos? Back to the show.
Speaker: to the show Good one. So you should probably send this to the the Delano Board of Tourism. yes I mean, you fucking nailed it.
Speaker: Yeah, I guess ah after Zach's episode, we I did miss a bowling alley. So I'm deeply, deeply embarrassed about that. right oh yeah Well, bowling alley that doesn't meet raffles.
Speaker: Wow. Hey, um the the music you know at the end could have used some more laser blasts, in my opinion. but just Your expectations were set high from yeah yeah from the previous one.
Speaker: Yeah, I agree with that because I think I'm going through laser blast phase na too. and Banjo lasers. I got a real hankering for the laser blast. Kevin, this next one's a doozy.
Speaker: i Yeah, this is probably the longest commercial I made and it's about five beats. I i could have cut it down to three, but it was like a soapy choice.
Speaker: and just I just liked them all. So um I made this one halfway through the season directly in response to one of the five questions. So oh the bareback is actually something that um in my twenty s i had had a handful of inventions I was, you know, brainstorming.
Speaker: So that was actually something I was and yeah Obviously, i didn't do anything with it, but um that was a that was the working working name for something I was actually kind of and of thinking about. i was watching a lot of stuff.
Speaker: That could be your call sign if you want. Just make that your call sign, Cam, if you want. yeah And then ah the rest was ah sort of a derivative of of the bareback.
Speaker: Roger, copy bareback. Run to copy. Beard hot. Perfect. This episode of You Like That is brought to you by the Home Shopping Network. Today we have Josh from the network here to highlight a few products in their fall catalog. Welcome, Josh.
Speaker: Thanks, Martin. Let's get right into it. Tell the listeners what we're looking at. Our first product is a wall-mounted soap dispenser for your shower, but this one is special. The soap dispenser is surrounded by an extra large loofah,
Speaker: And once you get that thing good and soapy, you rub your back on it back and forth and get all the hard-to-reach places. We're calling it the Bear Back. um Okay, that's an interesting product, but the name is a little questionable.
Speaker: It's named that because you look like a bear scratching its back on a tree while using it. Yeah, but it could also mean something else. I don't know what you mean. Never mind. What else do you have? Bridging from our shower products line to our pet supply is a revolutionary new flea and stick shampoo that is guaranteed to protect your canine for up to 90 days. We're calling it Raw Dog Shampoo.
Speaker: Really? Again, the name. Okay, just move on. Staying in the pet line, this new fenceless boundary product keeps your pooch on your property humanely without shocks.
Speaker: It uses a series of vibrations and beeps to keep Fido in bounds. It's called the Shocker. Okay, hold on. You said it doesn't use shocks, but you're still calling it the shocker. Yep.
Speaker: Next, we have a desktop putting green designed by the ever successful Korean golfer, Gloria Park. With the glory hole, you'll be getting your balls in the hole all day without having to leave the office. Come on.
Speaker: yes You have to know what you're doing here. I don't know what you mean. Well, it sure sounds like you made up a bunch of products just to give them wildly inappropriate names. What I'm doing here is showcasing our expected top sellers for your listeners. Now, if you don't mind, I'd like to showcase our last two products.
Speaker: Carry on. This next one is from our agricultural line. Martin, have you ever lost chickens from your flock and said to yourself, by golly, I wish I knew a way to track them. No, and I doubt anybody else has either. Well, now you can. With these neck-mounted trackers, you will always know where your chickens are. This is currently a beta version and only works with your roosters.
Speaker: So keep on the lookout for the cock ring. Gah! Martin, did you know you could get certain food products from the Home Shopping Network? No. Well, you can. This artisan pickle is grown, seasoned, and pickled at Doe Family Pickle Farms. This single-serving zesty dill pickle comes in a whopping 12 inches and guaranteed to satisfy the biggest appetite. Wait, wait, wait. A dill pickle from the Doe Family Farms? Let me guess. It's called the dildo?
Speaker: Martin, that's outrageous. What is wrong with you? It's just called Doe Family Pickle Farms. Oh. Presents the Jumbo Dildo. All right. We're done here.
Speaker: That was clever as shit, man. That was a great script. yeah I wouldn't cut one one of those breaks. That was fun. What's amazing is I've been back for season two. Since then, I've purchased all those products, and couldn't be more pleased.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah but Did you get a discount, like a package? I did. I did Absolutely. And what's cool is I get some residuals unless with every purchase. so do you have Do you have one of those as-seen-on-TV stores? Yeah, right.
Speaker: Just a 12-inch pickle. Yeah, pay no attention to the big pickle. i actually did. I don't. Believe it or not, I toned that one down.
Speaker: yeah um honor Oh my God. That was a good one, man. I love that script. That was a good one. Think you're in a pickle. Now the pickle's in you. i know ah Hey-o. Week 13, what did we have, Kevin?
Speaker: ah So ah in ah the congressional district where we all went to high school, um Tom Emmer is a actual congressman.
Speaker: He is a Trumper piece of shit. um And squirrels are funny. So that was right the inspiration behind this.
Speaker: Short and sweet. Very short. and then Very sweet. guys Is today's political planet driving you nuts?
Speaker: Running in the 2026 election for Minnesota's 6th Congressional District against Republican incumbent Tom Emmer is 200 loose squirrels in a three-piece suit. Because it can't get any worse, am I right?
Speaker: Come next November, vote for the squirrels.
Speaker: Clever. Yep. Good one. hey He really is a piece of shit and a disgrace to Minnesota. So. And how did you get all that squirrel audio, Cameron?
Speaker: I did that one a long time ago. ah So um I think i i I want to say I took one and then I looped it to get multiple squirrels.
Speaker: Did you record it yourself? No, no, no, no. i Okay. Okay. found an audio of one squirrel chirping and then i i looped it over and over and over again to give like a multiple squirrel sound are there squirrels in vegas yeah sure i mean are there yeah yeah no you know i don't know a lot yeah we had chipmunks no sure definitely i know it's the only thing coyotes
Speaker: Okay. If there's coyotes, there's probably not many squirrels. I don't know about Martellson. There's a lot of squirrels. Where? Martellson? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true. Yeah.
Speaker: That's true. Maybe not down in the city. Yeah. Yeah. The only wildlife I can confirm being in Vegas because I've seen the video evidence is, was a geese, Cameron, or was it ducks?
Speaker: Ducks, right? Yeah. Yeah. yeah The ones my wife and I saved? yeah yeah Yeah. Those were geese. Geese. Oh, it was a geese? Yeah, gooses on the loosens. You saw the video, Martin, I'm sure. Yes, I did. I did.
Speaker: And wow i just I was inspired by it. Me too. And it made me want to be a better human being, and then I forgot about it. Hey, you know, i've i forgot about it.
Speaker: Yeah, i've stopped I've stopped my truck in Texas and moved two turtles off the road so far. Well well off of the road and every time I shout out to Cammon. That's right. In Las Vegas. it For the info.
Speaker: That's awesome. That's right. This next one was a real labor of love, Cammon. What do you have to say? How how can you lead us into week 14's commercial? So this was probably the quickest turnaround that I've done.
Speaker: um I was in a bit of a rush because i i really wanted to be on tom's episode um so i was very uh high pressure on the people who uh voiced on this um i think martin wasn't available or you might have been off that week or something so i i tapped a few other people yeah no i i think yeah i remember you Yeah, no, you talked to my agent and and other engagements. The price wasn't there. yeah i'm Yeah. I'm sure Martin would have changed his his PTO had he known. yeah Had I known.
Speaker: Exactly. You just have to call. and Yeah, so this one, um a little context here is that in week... I don't know, four maybe.
Speaker: We had Tom booked for the show um and unfortunately none of his audio recorded. um He said some disgusting, terrible things.
Speaker: ah All of our reactions were recorded, but unfortunately we didn't have any video or audio to prove that Tom was even there. Some some think he wasn't even there.
Speaker: Jeff and I know the truth, ye ah but all that survived was the audio. So then it started this theme of asking everybody where's tom um we didn't know where tom was uh we weren't sure if he'd um come back to the show and and have a chance to you know answer these questions again and and take part and have his escape his the portion actually recorded and that i think was the inspiration right camon where's tom exactly all right where's tom
Speaker: Coming soon. Wait, how did Tom score less than 60 points in week 12? He had four players that were on a bye week as activated players. My God, hasn't made a roster move since week eight.
Speaker: Coming soon is a series that explores the hard hitting question. Where is Tom? We're at Tom's last known address in Avon Lake outside of Cleveland to see if we can find out where Tom is.
Speaker: The lights are off. The door is open. Go in.
Speaker: There's no on the fridge. just says gone fishing, but Tom doesn't fish. Join us as we take you to exotic locations and explore the seedy underbelly of travel photography.
Speaker: Sir, sir, do you know where Tom is? Right near the beach. To the beach!
Speaker: Look out!
Speaker: Drama and intrigue await you.
Speaker: Tom's not here. Look, there's an empty camera case. There's an SD card inside. Load it up! It's just a bunch of photos of old cars and crying Browns fans.
Speaker: What does that mean? I don't know. Streaming soon on Netflix is the limited series that will have you second guessing if Tom is even real.
Speaker: and Find out the answers on Tom Hunters.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: Very good. Shout out to Kevin. yeah He's our host. He's our PR guide. yeah He actually does a little professional video work. He was the announcer or whatever.
Speaker: ah You could tell. no No offense to you guys, but you could really tell that the quality stepped up here. No offense. Well, see you later. Kevin. german um we We all know he's going to be the announcer next season.
Speaker: oh Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Well, guess it's time for me to go. no um Yeah, i i had told I had forgotten. I don't know why, because I didn't really think about this before today.
Speaker: But that that Tom was not changing his roster for weeks on end And it was, you know, when he got 60 points, you know, he lost to um Nick, Nick And then, and that was his one, two, three, four. That was his fifth loss in a row. Okay.
Speaker: He, he, he scored only 60. um He did. He won the next game. It was his last win of the season. He only had one win from week six onward.
Speaker: So he won his next game by random chance. The same roster from the previous week. Now they were active. He won by just over two points and he beat our eventual champion, Cody.
Speaker: ah this was This was notable because Cody was vying for the eighth and final seed in our playoffs. he messaged me privately to say, what the absolute fuck, um this guy hasn't changed his roster, and he still beat me.
Speaker: And, you know, if you believe in karma at all, you know, for for that to happen, for for you to be struggling just to get that last playoff spot, which came down to the final week, I believe, um and then by by random chance you lose to the guy who stopped paying attention weeks ago,
Speaker: That's got to be why Cody went from eighth to first and achieved the ultimate upset. You hear me?
Speaker: You concur? Okay. It's all because of Tom. Yeah. That's awesome.
Speaker: I mean, that was we recorded that, what, week? That was right at the end there. Yeah. so it was It was too late for Tom to start paying attention. And kind of almost didn't want him to start paying attention because I it thought it would kind of ruin the bit.
Speaker: Right. So. Right. Oh, Tom. Tom stuck to the bit, guys. Tom stuck to the bit. Dedication. Dedication. Hey, and for his efforts, he's going to receive a plaque and a special toaster um any day now.
Speaker: You know, he's a fortunate man. Lucky guy. Right. Lucky guy. ah All right. We got one more commercial. Kevin, what inspired you here?
Speaker: Or do you just want to go into it and talk about it later? Well, I'd like Jeff had a lot to do with this one. So, I mean, I wrote it, but Jeff did all the recording. I did the editing.
Speaker: Jeff, your your kids are sick of front. friends front and center stage. Yeah. um Much more difficult than it should have been.
Speaker: We had to record it number of times and we just went with the best ah audio that they were willing to provide. um But, Kamen, you made it sound much better than what the slop that we gave you. so And I will say that we we we are now exposed to Heger's Metal voice.
Speaker: I mean, I have to write a sequel to this. I don't know what it is, but... There's a lot of holidays, Kevin. Yeah. lot of holidays. Yeah. There are a lot of holidays. but the met Tiger's Metal voice has got to come back.
Speaker: i was i was I was very surprised. that and ah In a good way. yeah i'm like I'm logging my vote right now for Metal Thanksgiving. Oh, nice. about That's awesome. That's a bit of a spoiler. Jeff.
Speaker: Yep, I'm ready. Let's hear it.
Speaker: Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way. Ah, another boring Christmas song? Yeah, we want hear something that treads. Hey kids, are you you want a little destruction in your Christmas music?
Speaker: Yeah! Well, you're in luck because this year Santa's wearing all black. Check out a track from my personally curated album, Kegger's A Very Metal Christmas.
Speaker: I think that just melted my face off. You little shits want to hear another?
Speaker: Yeah, this sh** rocks.
Speaker: There's ten more thrashing tracks that will have you turning the playground sandbox into a mosh pit! One more!
Speaker: And what are you going to ask for Christmas this year? Kangar is a very metal Christmas. we go God fucking kids! Download on Spotify or wherever you get your music.
Speaker: Merry Christmas, you filthy animal.
Speaker: Killer. That one was fun. That was outstanding.
Speaker: Jeff, I got to know, what was the prompt to get them to sound like they're saying, fuck yeah, and this shit rocks? of Fuck yeah with shit. Fudge. Yeah. Right. Yeah. Yeah. I wrote fudge. Yeah. And then this sheet rock rocks.
Speaker: but Yeah. but she rocks But she knew it was supposed to be shit. Oh, did she? And said it multiple times and thought she was hilarious. Yeah. ah With the audio I got with Seat Rock.
Speaker: Yeah, no, no, no. Her mom her mom was a little pissed off at me for... that yeah Well, that was ah that was a delightful end to the season.
Speaker: Yeah. young children cussing is, uh, it will never not be funny. Right. It's a gift. Yeah, it is. Kevin, would you like to, and any plans for next year? Anything we should pay attention to? Do you want people to submit their ideas on the channel?
Speaker: I mean, I think there's probably going to be some sequels. Um, so, know, maybe another square space and, um, obviously metal, Tegra metal. Um, there were,
Speaker: There were a few that I sent out there that that didn't get made. um The Rippies. Got to get that. Yeah. So ah Maxa and Tunker had both pretty pretty good concepts.
Speaker: um So I'd like to get those made. um We did have one that was actually turned down. Yeah. So we have a naval commander in the in the league.
Speaker: For the sake of privacy, let's call him Bill C. No, no, that's too obvious. Phil Land. All right.
Speaker: So the concept behind it was basically like he was using his rank and in the in the Navy to illegally procure and sell naval vessels on the side.
Speaker: so and So good. Yeah. It was, ah the commercial was interrupted by a police raid.
Speaker: screeching Screeching tires, sirens, you know, put your hands up, motherfucker, you that kind of thing. um Apparently, that could, you know, get him fired or, know, end his career, amount to treason, I don't know. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Worth it. Yadda, yadda, yadda.
Speaker: yeah So that one ah that one got cut, unfortunately. But ah yeah, we'll see. um Jeff, you got an email, right?
Speaker: If anybody wants to submit their ideas. If anybody does celebrity impressions, you know, i we can work with that. um If you just want to do your own.
Speaker: I mean, I'm not going to get my feelings hurt. So yeah no we do have a laugh or a thing. We also have a phone number that people can call or text.
Speaker: That number is always easy to remember and hard to forget. Thanks, guys. 6-112-293-6U635. six one twelve two nine three cisus six three five
Speaker: um and You understood that perfectly, right? Got it. i was I was writing it down. Yeah, thank you. Please save it in your phone. ye Text your ideas. Perfect. Text, call. call we We play voicemails on the show. we We have text messages read out loud by by talented algorithms.
Speaker: And Kevin, that sounds great. Sounds like next year has a lot of potential. I just want to say we appreciate everything you did. And Martin, you too, of course. Kevin, you don't have to.
Speaker: It's a lot of work. We know that. You don't have to do 15. But whenever whenever you provide us a commercial, you know we're going to run it. so Yeah. You I've got a really busy schedule at work and making time for this. I mean, it has affected, like, my productivity. But you know what?
Speaker: At the same time, I've got to be creative. I've got to breathe. So I'm in, Cameron. You need me? I'm here. i mentioned I'm a shining star. Martin, what was your what was your favorite moment from this season's ah commercials? It could be yours or someone else's.
Speaker: Yeah, honestly, I thought Kevin MacDonald with the voiceover in a town, you know, like that was brilliant. It was a great script. um But um yeah, i I don't know. i like them all. I thought the one with the inappropriate ah products was probably one of my favorite scripts. you know And like I said, i since then I've purchased every one of those items and they work well. That might be one I tried to ah make a sequel to.
Speaker: Yeah. yeah the well the And that was a delicious dill pickle. It was huge. but So good. Barely food in my mouth. I know. I really had to just bite around it. but More than one city. I was able to just jam it in. you know just
Speaker: Yes, I'm sure it survives multiple cities. So much to do with that. but yeah a Guys, it's been it's been a great show. We had some other things planned if we had time, but this has been this has been stellar.
Speaker: ah We have a special request for the outro music, I believe, unless anyone needs to say anything else before we go. Thanks for having me. This is fun. guys Martin, thank you so much.
Speaker: Kevin, thank you so much. so Yeah, thanks for guys both. um And then... ah in In loving memory of Catherine O'Hara, we have this song here.
Speaker: This thing reads like stereo instructions. Sounds like the you got an A in the math test.
Speaker: He likes it. Ha ha ha.
Speaker: Shake, shake, shake, Senora. Shake your body line. Shake, shake, shake, Senora. Shake it all the time. Work, work, work, Senora.
Speaker: Work your body line. Work, work, work, Senora. Work it all the time. Jump in the line. Rock body on time. Okay, I believe you.
