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Stephanie Roy: Chemotherapy, Tequila, and Fireworks | What's Kraken
13 Plays5 days ago
Stephanie Roy joins What's Kraken to talk about her book Chemotherapy and Tequila: The Last Road Trip — part memoir, part her late sister's actual journal from the road trip she took to say goodbye to everyone she loved. Stephanie traces the road from shy straight-A dropout to the woman whose daily life is orphan Thanksgiving: married at 17, an aortic aneurysm at 23 that broke her open, a trailer park tragedy, and two deathbed promises she kept. Jo and Stephanie also go back to where it all started — ghost hunting meetups in Montreal — and ahead to the TV series she's writing now.
Take Away: Life doesn't get easier — the way you deal with it does. You can't order the tools on Amazon. You build them by living through it.
Key Moments
- Ghost hunters at the mall — mostly there to weed out the weirdos (01:03)
- Why Stephanie writes longhand: road trips, the Metro, and the lost art of being bored (04:56)
- The book that's written by two sisters — her sister's journal is right there in the middle (08:32)
- The extrovert and the introvert: a tracheotomy at three vs. quitting high school over social anxiety (10:29)
- Married at 17 — "I knew everything" (14:44)
- An aortic aneurysm at 23: "Call your friends. You're not going to make it." (16:03)
- Waking up from the coma a different person — broken open, not broken (17:33)
- Trailer park tragedy, fireworks, and never blowing up your own supply (20:41)
- Her sister's last road trip — smiling for the kids the whole way (34:12)
- Two promises: be there for her kids, and finish the book (36:21)
- The memoir is becoming a TV series (41:10)
- Advice to her younger self: hang in there — the tools are coming (44:20)
Chemotherapy and Tequila: The Last Road Trip by Stephanie Roy: Here
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Transcript
Introduction to Stephanie Roy
00:00:08
Jo
Hey, everyone. Good morning, good morning, good afternoon, wherever you is. Today on What's Cracking, we've got Stephanie Roy. Oy, oy, oy. Full disclosure, we might know each other.
Stephanie's Book 'Chemotherapy and Tequila'
00:00:20
Jo
We just might. So first of all, thank you very much, Stephanie, for making the time and being here. I've been trying to get you for a while, also on the podcast for a while.
00:00:30
Stephanie
Thank you. Thank you. It's great to be here.
00:00:33
Jo
Yeah, we're going talk about a lot of things. We will talk about your book. And I'm not going to get the title wrong. It's chemotherapy and tequila. First, I thought you said we should do that. I'm like, I don't know if I want to do both.
00:00:45
Jo
I don't drink anymore. I don't want to chemo either. but But that's the title of your book, The Last Road Trip. We'll get into all that. We're going to get into new projects. We're going to get into old projects. We're going to get into the projects.
00:00:57
Jo
We're going to break it in. But I want to go all the way back. All the way back. Yeah, I know. I know. I don't even know what year it would be. I think it's 2014, 13.
Ghost Hunting Memories
00:01:10
Jo
At a little Atwater Mall.
00:01:12
Stephanie
Yes.
00:01:13
Jo
Was it then? yeah Yes.
00:01:14
Stephanie
Yeah, that that's where we met.
00:01:16
Jo
Okay. That's where we met. We met at the mall. How weird is that?
00:01:19
Stephanie
I know, right?
00:01:21
Jo
As we ghost hunt adventurers.
00:01:24
Stephanie
Ghost hunters, yes.
00:01:24
Jo
That was so does a long time with Taylor.
00:01:28
Stephanie
Yeah, that was.
00:01:28
Jo
And then like extremely fake psychic who always, thought yeah I forgot that person's name. Probably best off to forget that one.
00:01:36
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah, that was awesome.
00:01:38
Jo
Yeah, and we just like did ghost we we did ghost hunting for like a year or two, right?
00:01:43
Stephanie
I know, but I think mostly we were there to weed out the weirdos.
00:01:43
Jo
Is that really it?
00:01:48
Jo
We were, full disclosure, i was like, is this a fucking honeypot? Is that dude trying to honeypot me? honestly i was like, I saw like between you and Taylor. I'm like, what the shit, dude?
00:01:59
Stephanie
Right?
00:02:00
Jo
How? Yeah. But it worked out.
00:02:02
Stephanie
It was too much fun.
00:02:03
Jo
and we did weird out a lot of the We did weird out a lot of the weirdos.
Finding Community Through Meetup.com
00:02:07
Jo
We did weed out.
00:02:07
Stephanie
yes we did we did
00:02:09
Jo
We did. We did. and And the weird thing is, for those you that have no idea what the fuck you're talking about, welcome to my world, but there was this thing before the pandemic called Meetup.
00:02:21
Jo
like I think it might still exist, meetup.com, right? And if you're new to a city, like, oh, I like this.
00:02:24
Stephanie
think so
00:02:27
Jo
I like that. I like that. You're just trying to meet people, right? and i sign up for three or four different groups that turn out to be the same fucking group. Because you were always, yeah, it was writing group.
00:02:36
Stephanie
To write? Oh my gosh. Like you're you again?
00:02:38
Jo
It was it was exactly
00:02:40
Stephanie
ah
00:02:42
Jo
like, what the shit? is Like, how many groups are the same Atwater fucking? It wasn't it wasn't really Atwater Mall. It was um it was ah by the the West, was West Mountain, right? It West Mountain, the tunnel.
00:02:52
Stephanie
yeah. yeah but west I think Westmount Mall or something. i don't know what they call that.
00:02:55
Jo
Yeah, like the the weird-ass tunnel that goes to the one way, goes to the the quick care, and then the other goes to basically shit.
00:03:04
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah.
00:03:04
Jo
like I was like, I don't know where is there now. I think I got there in my mistake. I parked it at Atwater once by mistake. I was like, holy shit, this is a place we used to. Yeah.
00:03:12
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:03:14
Jo
So it was meeting after meetup, after meetup, after meetup. And
Writing Process and Inspiration
00:03:17
Jo
just by being the semi-sane ones, we just started clicking.
00:03:21
Stephanie
Yeah, that's true.
00:03:22
Jo
but me that that's That's kind of it. And from there, i don't know. I don't remember our first non-ghost outing. What was that? Do you remember what that was?
00:03:34
Stephanie
Yeah, it was Mad Hatter's, wasn't it?
00:03:36
Jo
Oh, shit. That's what I don't remember because it was Hatters.
00:03:40
Stephanie
I think so.
00:03:41
Jo
I would not remember this.
00:03:41
Stephanie
Yes. Yeah, it was. It was cheap drinks and yeah, just cheap all around.
00:03:46
Jo
Uh...
00:03:47
Stephanie
yeah
00:03:47
Jo
I have apologize for the vomit on your, not you personally, on Hatter's ah the front step, I think. I think i made it to the front step.
00:03:55
Stephanie
I'm sure they're used to it.
00:03:57
Jo
Holy they shit.
00:03:57
Stephanie
It's a regular thing.
00:03:58
Jo
Yeah, Hatter's, man. Hatter's. And then we started doing Rain Dance. But not the an actual Rain Dance.
00:04:03
Stephanie
my God.
00:04:03
Jo
We started doing the movie thing, Rain Dance, right?
00:04:05
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:04:06
Jo
But just randomly.
00:04:06
Stephanie
Oh yeah. Yeah.
00:04:07
Jo
I didn't know you in that one.
00:04:07
Stephanie
I like that.
00:04:08
Jo
And was like, holy shit.
00:04:09
Stephanie
Yeah, know. surprised. Oh, you again. Yeah. It was. Yes, yes.
00:04:11
Jo
Yeah, that was kind of nice, man. So as we see full disclosure, we know each other.
00:04:14
Stephanie
was
00:04:19
Jo
And I knew you as you're writing that book, Chemotherapy and Tequila, at The Last Road Trip.
00:04:23
Stephanie
yes yes
00:04:26
Jo
I knew you. I think were you workshopping that book at one of the writers group? I can't remember.
00:04:30
Stephanie
um yes i was actually i was not how to write it but i was looking for a publisher at the time it's like and um that's why i was there that's the only reason i was there and then i found all these other people and to find people that were writers also because i didn't know i mean this was totally a totally new world for me was writing you know and i was here i was i i don't write like normal people on a computer i write
00:04:36
Jo
Public. Right. Right. Right.
00:04:50
Jo
Yeah.
00:04:54
Stephanie
you know, longhand in a book. And that's where i was writing everything for my book at the time. And then I wrote the book and I, yeah. So.
00:05:02
Jo
you You glanced over it I'm going to back to it. You say you don't write like normal people on a computer. You write in a book. i I admire the shit out of that.
00:05:11
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:05:13
Jo
i think that's a lot art. And you did it that way still amazes me. Because what people don't know is if you're writing it longhand, you then have to type the shit out.
00:05:19
Stephanie
Nope.
00:05:22
Jo
Someone has to type it out or transpose it how somehow know. Why did you decide? Is that just always your style or did you decide I want to write on a notebook instead?
00:05:34
Stephanie
Well, I find it's it's much more practical to write when you're writing longhand. Because if you're typing on something, you have to be at home. or Because I don't know how people are typing on their computers but books are on their phones.
00:05:45
Stephanie
But you've got to be at home. And me, I wrote wherever I was. Like, usually, honestly, I i found the best time to write for me was on a road trip.
00:05:50
Jo
Yeah.
00:05:53
Stephanie
Like, ah I had a boyfriend then. And we used to he would drive and be on these long road trips for, like, five or six hours. And I would write. And that's when, because I'd look around. it Because it's... I think one of the reasons I find people are finding it hard to write now is because you don't they don't have that time to be bored, you know, when there's nothing to do.
00:06:07
Jo
Yeah. Maybe. Maybe.
00:06:12
Stephanie
and um And it's because, I mean, back then I've always like, if I have time and I, because if you're at home and, you you know, you're distracted, it's like, I want to write now, but, oh, I got to clean the dishes or I got to, you know, feed the cat or whatever it is I got to do or call or this person's calling and, you know, I got to take care of that.
00:06:12
Jo
i think this.
00:06:29
Jo
Yeah.
00:06:30
Stephanie
or pay these bills or yeah there's always something and I get distracted.
00:06:33
Jo
Always something there.
00:06:34
Stephanie
But when you're a, in a car, stuck in a car, know, it's like, we that's where you're right.
00:06:34
Jo
No, absolutely.
00:06:41
Stephanie
Or I'm, or on the Metro, I'm going to work, you know, it's um just, and I always had this notebook on me and that's when I was, ideas would hit me. And that's where I would write it down, you know?
00:06:50
Jo
Right.
00:06:52
Stephanie
And and I think you can't really do that sitting at home, staring at your laptop. You know, I do i don't know how people are doing that.
00:06:58
Jo
No, yeah that's that's correct I mean, that's correct. Like I I was packing up and I only have one. I sound so posh. I only have one laptop left. I give another one away.
00:07:11
Jo
But this laptop's heavy as fuck. And it's kind of like I'm traveling. If I'm going on a plane, I was like, oh man, my back, my shoulder's going out. I don't want to it want to bring it. I also wanted to write.
00:07:23
Jo
So I was like, man, I need to go back to fucking notepads.
Memories and Sister's Journey
00:07:27
Jo
I'm like, honestly, got like s spiral bound.
00:07:27
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:07:29
Jo
It's like, fuck going to doing those again. And it frees you up for so much. Did I do that? No, of course I didn't do that. I just brought this son of bitch with me. and i so And the funny thing is, didn't even write. i don't think I wrote a fucking thing on this thing. So I just had this big lug ass fucking dead weight with me.
00:07:43
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:07:44
Jo
versus notebook and paper.
00:07:46
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:07:46
Jo
You know?
00:07:47
Stephanie
You just write down and sometimes you're just driving around or you're you're on the Metro and you see something and, and that gives you, you know, leeway into something else. And so I think, you know, and because of course with my book, ah the book that I wrote was all about certain memories with my sister, you know?
00:07:55
Jo
Right.
00:08:02
Jo
Right.
00:08:02
Stephanie
And so, you know, and all of a sudden, you know, I'd see something and yeah. And I guess that's what's important. got to write at the moment when you're there, you know, not, so sometimes I would just write, i had a little notepad and a big one, you know, the little one would be just for short notes, you know, just something funny.
00:08:11
Jo
Yeah.
00:08:16
Jo
a
00:08:19
Stephanie
so Most of the time it just went in the garbage, but you know, but it was,
00:08:23
Jo
It gets your writing.
00:08:24
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah.
00:08:25
Jo
Yeah.
00:08:25
Stephanie
it's just No idea was a bad idea, I guess.
00:08:28
Jo
Oh, that one idea was a bad idea.
00:08:29
Stephanie
Well, then again.
00:08:30
Jo
That last trick at Hatters, definitely a bad idea for me.
00:08:31
Stephanie
Yeah,
00:08:33
Jo
That's all I know.
00:08:33
Stephanie
yeah. yeah
00:08:35
Jo
Shit.
00:08:35
Stephanie
Hatters.
00:08:36
Jo
Oh, my God. Yeah.
00:08:37
Stephanie
but Awesome bar.
00:08:39
Jo
yeah the We will get into the book itself right now because i know that this is a personal, I mean, for those who don't know, chemotherapy and tequila, the last road trip, I step in and really get it now.
00:08:56
Jo
It is an absolute personal book. It's part memoir for yourself and your sister.
00:09:03
Stephanie
Yeah, it's it's written by both of us in a way.
00:09:03
Jo
Yeah. Yeah.
00:09:05
Stephanie
It's ah her actual journal in there before she died of cancer.
00:09:06
Jo
Right.
00:09:09
Stephanie
And yeah, and it talks about the last road trip that she took to say goodbye to everybody to all other their friends and family because we all have the same friends and families, by the way, we
00:09:18
Jo
Right. Is she up? No.
00:09:20
Stephanie
We did. And then, yeah, and that's what that was about. So she would, I guess that's maybe that's where I got the idea from even it's because that's how she wrote her journal. My cousin gave her a journal and she said, just write down what you feel right now.
00:09:30
Jo
no
00:09:32
Stephanie
So the book itself is about like, everyone knows about cancer, obviously, but um different viewpoints, you know, the viewpoint of hers where she's her actual journals in there halfway through the book where it talks about her feelings and what it feels like for her to go somewhere and be made fun of because she looks like she's wearing a wig or because she has no hair or you know and my sister was always very and the tracheonomy yeah she had she had a tracheon bitch that she had all her life though so she was used to that but but um yeah
00:09:53
Jo
And she had the, yeah.
00:10:03
Jo
Which brings me to a ah point, is she the older one? She's a younger sister.
00:10:07
Stephanie
she's she's two years younger than me yeah
00:10:09
Jo
Two years younger than you, okay. And then you grew up And believe it or not, believe it or not, if, and I've seen photos from back then. I have blackmail photos for you.
00:10:19
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:10:20
Jo
Now, I've seen photos. You look like the shy little kid. You look like a shy little kid back then.
00:10:26
Stephanie
Yeah. Oh yeah.
00:10:28
Jo
Like, and you look at her photos, she looks like the daredevil.
00:10:33
Stephanie
Oh, my God. You still have that right. She was.
00:10:36
Jo
Is it? Okay.
00:10:36
Stephanie
Yeah, she she was a social butterfly. I mean, she had a tracheotomy since she was like three years old. But she was the one that was she's insane. I mean, she was never afraid to take chances. I mean, she was the first one of us to go on a roller coaster. I was terrified.
00:10:51
Stephanie
And I was ah it was interesting because she was the extrovert and I was the introvert.
00:10:55
Jo
Yeah.
00:10:56
Stephanie
you know, complete introvert to the point where, you know, I missed out on a lot in life. And by the way, I'm sorry for anyone who says it's cool to be an introvert. It's not, you miss out on so much in life, you know, and I i missed out.
00:11:06
Jo
No. Well. I agree. Yeah.
00:11:10
Stephanie
I think that might be my only regret in life. If I have any was that I missed out on so much growing up because I was so scared of everything or scared of people, or that
Personal Growth and Life Challenges
00:11:20
Stephanie
would always hold me back from so much, you know?
00:11:20
Jo
Yeah.
00:11:23
Stephanie
And, um, Yeah. So, so I, but I guess I was looked at my sister as an inspiration because I always, even though she was younger than me, I really wanted to be like her in that way where she could just walk into any room. Didn't care, you know, whether she felt she belonged there or not. That was never a question, you know, with her, I belong here. I don't care what anyone says.
00:11:43
Stephanie
Fuck it.
00:11:44
Jo
Yeah, I belong here. If and anyone has a problem it, you don't belong. Not me. I belong.
00:11:48
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:11:49
Jo
So did that rub off on you?
00:11:51
Stephanie
Oh, it totally did. It totally did.
00:11:52
Jo
Totally. Totally.
00:11:53
Stephanie
I mean, um it was, yeah, like my my, like her personality, like I said, da it it did rub off because I saw that she was getting places where I wasn't. She had friends in school.
00:12:03
Jo
I
00:12:04
Stephanie
I didn't, you know, ah because I just didn't like people, and you know, like, I mean, I was so shy.
00:12:11
Jo
can relate to that.
00:12:11
Stephanie
i actually quit high school. You wouldn't be sorry, no. But, yeah.
00:12:14
Jo
Really?
00:12:15
Stephanie
Yeah, I had to quit high school early because I not because of I mean, i was a straight A student, but I had to drop out because I couldn't be around people.
00:12:22
Jo
social anxiety. it was is that heavy?
00:12:23
Stephanie
Severe, severe.
00:12:26
Jo
Because I see the after picture now. You know i mean? i don't see, I see the before picture through the pictures, like literally the pictures you show me.
00:12:31
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:12:35
Jo
And stories you tell me, but I see the completely open and fun and energetic. And what are we doing today? Let's do 12 of them. Like, let's go to Tam Tams, which we have to do, by the way.
00:12:49
Jo
I actually told my class I'm going to to.
00:12:49
Stephanie
Yes. Yeah, Tam Tams.
00:12:50
Jo
So yeah, I thought about doing it today, but like, we're doing this instead.
00:12:51
Stephanie
You know it.
00:12:55
Stephanie
ah
00:12:55
Jo
no
00:12:56
Stephanie
Next week.
00:12:56
Jo
I will it. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. For those who don't know Tam Tams, it's a drum circle that Stephanie's been trying to get me to since like 2013, apparently. And I'm like, that sounds dumb as hell.
00:13:09
Jo
Like a bunch of hippies beating a fucking drum. Oh my God. Stop me now. And then I'm like, okay, maybe it'll be fun. maybe if Maybe it'll be fun.
00:13:18
Stephanie
It is. it is
00:13:19
Jo
I'll go with the right person. you know you You're obviously the right person for that. It'll be a blast. And we see the opposite now. We see you as this social butterfly.
00:13:32
Jo
ah so You always have, well, I don't want to, like, i'm not going to tell people where you live, obviously, but you always had the parties. You always have parties. You always have people somewhere. And it's like the collection is like your daily life is orphan Thanksgiving.
00:13:48
Jo
that make sense? Like that's your daily life.
00:13:49
Stephanie
yeah totally orphan thanksgiving yeah
00:13:51
Jo
if If people don't know what orphan Thanksgiving is, it's the thing of of like, I'm going home for family for Thanksgiving. I've got no one. That's, that's orphan Thanksgiving. Everyone didn't have anyone. You always go to your house, but that's your daily.
00:14:03
Jo
That is absolutely your daily.
00:14:03
Stephanie
yeah yeah yeah it really is
00:14:05
Jo
which you And is that part of the trip in your books? I see you both kind of come out in your book this way, you're starting to get more and more confident, things are happening, all these things.
00:14:19
Jo
Is that part of your makeup? It's in the book. Is that part of your makeup how you are now then?
00:14:25
Stephanie
Yes, ah completely. I mean, um the book, I guess that part in in my life, the book, my sister passing away, I mean, that was a huge part.
00:14:31
Jo
Right.
00:14:35
Stephanie
But actually, it was starting before then. It was starting before.
00:14:38
Jo
little bit before.
00:14:39
Stephanie
But I guess that would be when I like after high school, I i got going but way back now, you know, after high school, big because i couldn't I couldn't, I couldn't be around people.
00:14:45
Jo
last year. Yeah.
00:14:51
Stephanie
um I got married. It was my excuse to get out of high school and not be around people. And I married a man 10 years older than me. He had a child, three-year-old, and i wanted to raise him.
00:15:05
Stephanie
I wanted to be a mommy. And I figured if I could be a mommy at home, I never have to worry about facing people again.
00:15:10
Jo
love them yeah
00:15:12
Stephanie
i can have my husband make all the decisions. I was 17 years I knew everything
00:15:17
Jo
Yeah, um every time we heard the story like.
00:15:18
Stephanie
i thought i knew everything and
00:15:20
Jo
I was like, what are you doing?
00:15:21
Stephanie
I know now it's like, and he gets, Even he said, even my husband was trying to talk me out of it. He was like, but you're going to change your mind when you're older. or I said, no, I know what I want. I know what I want.
00:15:32
Stephanie
This is what I want.
00:15:32
Jo
my God.
00:15:33
Stephanie
He says, you're going to change. I said, no, I won't. And I did. Yeah. um And I think a lot of it had to do with not just the fact that he wasn't the best husband in the world. He was, he wasn't physically abusive, very mentally and emotionally abusive.
00:15:45
Jo
Right.
00:15:46
Stephanie
I didn't realize there was that that even existed until many years later. I just lived with it because was I was very busy with raising the child.
00:15:55
Jo
Right.
00:15:55
Stephanie
you know, but um at the same time, um it wasn't, um and I loved him. I loved my child. And i think that's why I stayed as long as I did was the kid, you know, but, um but the thing is what really changed me though, going back to what changed me,
00:16:10
Stephanie
When I got, ah during the marriage, when I was 23 years old, I had a, well, I had, i had to it turns out my sister wasn't the only sick one in the family. It turns out I ah had and an and an aortic aneurysm out of the blue and no one knew what the hell was going on. I mean, I got misdiagnosed ah with with good reasons that the problem that I do have with my, heart it's not my heart, it's my connective tissue.
00:16:34
Jo
Okay. Right.
00:16:34
Stephanie
And um yeah, and they wasn't discovered then. So I guess they misdiagnosed me. They sent me home with stress. They're like, you're 23 years old. You're healthy. um You don't do drugs.
00:16:45
Stephanie
I don't know what to tell you. It's probably just stress. So I went home and turns out my my aorta was separating but the the whole time. I managed to survive. They sent me after after a week.
00:16:57
Stephanie
i finally They finally decided, whoa, something's really wrong. And
00:17:00
Jo
right
00:17:01
Stephanie
yeah, I got the surgery and I tell you I was in a coma for three days and I don't know what happened, but when I woke up, I woke up literally a different person. i mean, I think it's because, and i don't I don't think it's anything magical or, you know, mystical anything like that.
00:17:15
Stephanie
I think it's just the fact that I realized that, I mean, up to that point, I think I thought like everybody else where you, you know, you're going to die eventually, but it doesn't really register, you know,
00:17:25
Jo
That scares the shit of me. I'm not going to die. Fuck off.
00:17:27
Stephanie
Yeah, and they they told me I was going to die.
00:17:28
Jo
You can do that.
00:17:30
Stephanie
They said, call your friends, you know, before the surgery.
00:17:30
Jo
Oh, man. Oh, Jesus.
00:17:32
Stephanie
They said, you're not going to make it. We're just doing this as a, because we have to.
00:17:35
Jo
or ah College try.
00:17:38
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah.
00:17:38
Jo
That's what it is. We'll try.
00:17:40
Stephanie
yeah
00:17:40
Jo
We'll do some golf later, I guess. But...
00:17:42
Stephanie
Yeah, but but but they they met when I saw imagine my surprise when I woke up, you know, and ah I'm alive, like, I cried for three days. And because I was so happy, know, I've never been that happy in my life.
00:17:52
Stephanie
And I think that's what kind of, in a way, broke me in a good way.
00:17:57
Jo
Right. broke broke Broke you open. and Kind of like broke him the the shell.
00:17:59
Stephanie
broke me open. Yes. I like that that. That makes more sense.
00:18:01
Jo
Yeah.
00:18:02
Stephanie
You know, it broke me open and made me realize I wanted to see the world now.
00:18:02
Jo
and what
00:18:07
Stephanie
It's like, and I, and the first, my first thought was I hate my husband. i got to get rid of this motherfucker, you know, and that's my first step. I got to get rid, I got to get out of this, this marriage. And um eventually I did. Eventually it took me a few years. Cause like I said, I was very attached to his child and i wanted to make sure he was raised. Okay. Okay.
00:18:30
Stephanie
And I guess it wasn't until maybe four years later that I left very unceremoniously by the way. It was not a good way, but it was the only way I got out.
00:18:38
Jo
But you got out. But you got out.
00:18:40
Stephanie
Yes, yes, I did.
00:18:41
Jo
And at this time, your sister doing? your sister doing Like, while you're having the surgery and, yeah.
00:18:47
Stephanie
Oh, at that time. I thought she meant now. It's like, she's probably sitting, so sort flying around.
00:18:50
Jo
No, like, well, no.
00:18:54
Jo
She's sitting right there going, huh?
00:18:54
Stephanie
Sorry. Yeah. But no, at that time, my sister actually was interesting because my sister, she was actually kind of like, what are you doing? Leaving? You know, she was like, leaving your husband.
00:19:06
Stephanie
And she was a, she was a, well, she was doing a lot of different things at the time. I mean, like I said, I was married and because I was married, ah my husband isolated me from a lot, from my family a lot.
00:19:10
Jo
Right.
00:19:15
Stephanie
Like,
00:19:15
Jo
Oh, wow.
00:19:16
Stephanie
So I didn't know half of what's happening with my own family. I had my own stuff going on, you know, and me and my sister, we still hung out every chance we could.
00:19:24
Jo
Right. Right.
00:19:24
Stephanie
you know, cause we, and my brother, the three of us always hung out together, you know, and we'd party together. And, but, um you know, at that time she was, a she was doing okay, but she was, ah she was single. You know, she have her kids then. She didn't have her kids until much later. ah But yeah, at that time she was, yeah, she was still being social Jose, you know, just partying and meeting new people and traveling around and, you know.
00:19:54
Stephanie
So yeah.
00:19:54
Jo
So she's being social Jose, as you say, Jose.
00:19:58
Stephanie
Jose, yeah.
00:19:59
Jo
i'll use ah I'll use your F effect as well. Did you ever think, okay, i I'm out of the marriage. I'm going to go back home. going to be two sisters against the world and a brother. Why not?
00:20:13
Jo
Against the entire world. are you just kind of like, okay, what's next? you know what What was
Family Influence and Abusive Relationships
00:20:18
Jo
your mindset? Yeah.
00:20:19
Stephanie
Oh, well, okay. about that? It was ah it wasn't exactly as a a clean break as you would expect. I mean, my husband was very controlling, extremely proud.
00:20:29
Jo
Okay.
00:20:30
Stephanie
So when I left, I actually left. yeah Okay, spoiler for that. Yeah, i had to, I left him by having an affair with the next door neighbor.
00:20:42
Jo
You caught up his. dit owner No, that's not what he said.
00:20:44
Stephanie
No, I wish. Now I go back on that one.
00:20:46
Jo
Well.
00:20:48
Stephanie
No, ah no, I ended up ah having an affair with an extra neighbor. My husband was not pleased. a Very proud man, you know, turned me in.
00:20:55
Jo
Was the next door neighbor, please.
00:20:57
Stephanie
In a trailer park.
00:20:57
Jo
Oh. okay
00:21:00
Stephanie
Yeah, we lived in a trailer park.
00:21:00
Jo
You should lead with the trailer park. You should lead with the trailer park. Lead with that.
00:21:06
Stephanie
Yeah, it was a trailer park tragedy, but.
00:21:08
Jo
as like I was like, you so you get with bubbles. go on. Oh,
00:21:13
Stephanie
Yeah, so anyways, ah we ended up living in the trailer next door with his parents because he was younger than me. And ah yeah, so there was, you can imagine the fights and the constant, the trailer park was at, it was it was a shambles.
00:21:21
Jo
my God. No.
00:21:26
Stephanie
It was a shambles.
00:21:26
Jo
Oh, shit.
00:21:29
Stephanie
Just constant fighting and throwing shit over and just, you know, beer bottles being smashed everywhere. It was, yeah, it was ah exactly, it was like trailer park boys 2.0.
00:21:37
Jo
ah yeah
00:21:38
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:21:39
Jo
two points the relaunch we're reboot that and i'll be so yeah you went there you went there you got out eventually oh what point because it says like the chemotherapy and tequila the last road trip
00:21:39
Stephanie
but
00:21:41
Stephanie
but So I guess, go ahead.
00:21:47
Stephanie
who
00:21:56
Jo
At what point do you two get back together?
00:21:56
Stephanie
Yes.
00:21:59
Jo
Like you and your sister.
00:21:59
Stephanie
Um, well, we were always together kind of, but, um, I think it was more after all the, well, we were always together.
00:22:01
Jo
Right.
00:22:06
Stephanie
We always hung out, but we always knew that cause we all lived, gotta remember, we didn't live in the same town either.
00:22:07
Jo
Right.
00:22:11
Stephanie
Like we were always, i think that's my parents.
00:22:12
Jo
Right.
00:22:14
Stephanie
My parents were always kind of nomadic. So, you know, we learned to do the same, you know, me and my sister and my brother, my brother lived in Banff at this time. i think I lived in Winnipeg, ah
00:22:24
Jo
He lives in Winnipeg.
00:22:25
Stephanie
I lived in Winnipeg. Yeah. I loved, I liked it there.
00:22:27
Jo
um close
00:22:28
Stephanie
i don't know. Everybody completely, I know what they say it's the art the armpit of Canada, but I had fun.
00:22:32
Jo
I like when I do like Winnipeg. I do. I bet every time I visit there is very nice to me. So I can't.
00:22:37
Stephanie
it Well, not nice, but it's.
00:22:39
Jo
Well, it's nice to me. i mean, the people are nice to me, I should say.
00:22:43
Stephanie
Yes, yes, yes.
00:22:44
Jo
Yes, there you
00:22:44
Stephanie
The people are very nice. ah Well, depending. I mean, there's a lot of, you you just don't, don't be walking around by yourself because you're asking for trouble. Yeah.
00:22:52
Jo
Well, I'm I'm built this way, so.
00:22:55
Stephanie
But a but if it' so awesome I met some of my best friends enough in that city, you know.
00:22:55
Jo
I always ask for trouble.
00:23:00
Stephanie
So yeah, and um it's just a beautiful place. and But the thing is during that time, i other than Winnipeg, my sister, i don't remember i remember where she lived. Oh, I think she lived in Longlack, I think.
00:23:11
Stephanie
And I lived there for a bit.
00:23:11
Jo
Oh.
00:23:13
Stephanie
That was where I lived with my boyfriend, which is where another reason I think I started becoming a little bit less shy because ah the the well the the boy, boy the the guy I had the affair with ended up, he'd become, a he wasn't emotionally or emotionally abusive. He was just a downright physically abusive, very physically abusive. And that's for the first time I discovered a lot of that where I almost got killed a few times.
00:23:43
Stephanie
But, um, ah no, not that, oh no, he was a tall gentleman.
00:23:43
Jo
While he's living with his parents?
00:23:47
Stephanie
Then he was a sweetheart. We moved in together. that We were so in love. Like we both loved each other very much.
00:23:50
Jo
Okay.
00:23:52
Stephanie
We were like each other's world. You know, we we we did, it was the first time I ever experienced actual love and we did love each other strangely enough. And then something happened. Um,
00:24:04
Stephanie
Well, I, well, well, we actually, we had no money because again, when I was married, I was being so isolated. I had no job experience.
00:24:11
Jo
Right.
00:24:11
Stephanie
I had no education. there's no way I can get a job and him, well, he was just young and, you know, young, dumb and full of calm. Right.
00:24:19
Jo
Well, but but that is the saying. Now, although he was legal age.
00:24:26
Stephanie
Oh, he was legal age. Yes. Yes.
00:24:27
Jo
Because you said younger.
00:24:28
Stephanie
i'm not saying he was that young.
00:24:28
Jo
Well, like, i was like because like the least living in his parents trailer, it might have been like that.
00:24:29
Stephanie
oh no. Well, he,
00:24:34
Stephanie
well Well, he was 19.
00:24:35
Jo
had a paper route.
00:24:36
Stephanie
I was 26. yeah. Yes. Yes.
00:24:38
Jo
Oh, so you flipped it.
00:24:38
Stephanie
And, uh,
00:24:39
Jo
You went from dating the guy that older, then you became the older.
00:24:40
Stephanie
older
00:24:43
Stephanie
yes yes and a
00:24:44
Jo
The 26-year-older is like, don't know.
00:24:46
Stephanie
And it it it really worked out with us somehow. But ah we ended up, because I i was the town pariah at this point, the town saw me as, you know, the Jezebel of of our small town. was a very small town. And I just wanted to get the hell out of town, you know?
00:25:00
Stephanie
So we ended up moving to a different town. And there we started doing, selling illegal products, yes. yeah
00:25:06
Jo
Fireworks.
00:25:06
Stephanie
yeah
00:25:07
Jo
You're selling fear of mischief makers.
00:25:07
Stephanie
Fireworks. Yeah, yeah, sure. Fireworks.
00:25:10
Jo
Selling fireworks. Look at you guys.
00:25:12
Stephanie
Yeah, selling fireworks. So, ah but yeah. But yeah, it's like, that's how and we made. um i mean, at that point, before then we were on welfare, the two of us, we had nothing. i mean, he couldn't keep a job because if I found out he was also an alcoholic. So yeah, severe alcoholic.
00:25:30
Stephanie
But then once we started selling fireworks, you know, he discovered he really liked he really liked fireworks.
00:25:36
Jo
He liked doing fireworks.
00:25:37
Stephanie
So
00:25:38
Jo
He liked setting him off in his own head.
00:25:40
Stephanie
Yes, like setting them off in his own head. So next thing you he's doing all these fireworks and ah all the and because we had so much money in the beginning, like, Oh, my God, we were just crawling with money. We had more money than we knew what to do with, you know.
00:25:53
Stephanie
And, um and then once he started doing the fireworks. Yeah.
00:25:57
Jo
as one does.
00:25:58
Stephanie
Yeah, then it just boom, there's many situation went way down.
00:26:02
Jo
Yeah, well, there's a saying about fireworks.
00:26:02
Stephanie
And then
00:26:05
Jo
Never blow up your own supply of fireworks.
00:26:08
Stephanie
Never blow up your own supply of fireworks. Exactly. Exactly.
00:26:11
Jo
if You just sell those fireworks first. Right?
00:26:15
Stephanie
Yeah. And you're right. And that started a whole mess of mess of problems, you know, and and that's it was there around that time you started getting abusive.
00:26:20
Jo
Yeah.
00:26:25
Jo
but Okay, so never, right.
00:26:25
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:26:27
Jo
It's the change in the person. what was like Hunter would say, you can trust a person, but never trust a drug.
00:26:34
Stephanie
Yeah, exactly.
00:26:35
Jo
Or a firework in this case. yeah like You can never trust what's coming out of that.
00:26:36
Stephanie
yeah Yeah, it's true. it's a Never trust a junkie.
00:26:41
Jo
Yeah.
00:26:42
Stephanie
Yeah, but um but the but before that, and the funny thing is, that's all these years, that's what I thought the problem was, was the drugs.
00:26:42
Jo
True.
00:26:50
Stephanie
It turns out it goes back even further than that, and i didn't even realize it.
00:26:53
Jo
Really?
00:26:53
Stephanie
um The abuse actually started not when he started doing the drugs. He was abusive it a bit before, but not...
00:27:01
Jo
At that level of...
00:27:02
Stephanie
that, you know what I mean? ah Not to that extent, not that level.
00:27:04
Jo
Yeah.
00:27:05
Stephanie
No, it was bad. And, um but before then he was, ah well, what happened is I got pregnant.
00:27:07
Jo
Right.
00:27:12
Stephanie
Now I also mentioned I've, I can't have, because of my heart condition, I can't have children, right?
00:27:17
Jo
Right.
00:27:18
Stephanie
when I was married, I tried to get pregnant. Remember, I just wanted to be a mother, right? That's when I realized, they told me after the heart surgery that would never have kids. So, um and this is after I just had six miscarriages, you you know? So it's and no one knew it or could explain them.
00:27:33
Stephanie
And anyways, I knew at this point, okay, I'd accepted the fact, okay, I can't have children. And maybe that's what changed my personality also, is knowing that now that I can't have kids, well, ah what next? I got to do something.
00:27:43
Jo
Right.
00:27:44
Stephanie
You got to do, I mean, I can't have kids.
00:27:45
Jo
Right.
00:27:46
Stephanie
I going to sit around and cry about it for the rest of my life? Or am I going to do things that don't require me to have children? You know, so I chose the latter, obviously. And um so, yeah. So anyways, because of that, I couldn't have kids. And I i had accepted that at that point when I met.
00:28:04
Jo
That person.
00:28:04
Stephanie
Bruce, yes, Bruce.
00:28:06
Jo
Yeah. That's a name.
00:28:07
Stephanie
So ah so and he was and he was always like, oh, you you don't listen to doctors. You can have kids one day, blah, blah. blah And I just whatever, ignored it. You know, anyways, one time accidentally with him, I actually i did get pregnant once.
00:28:21
Stephanie
And I was like, oh no, I can't go through another miscarriage. It had been years since I went through all that the constant depression and, you know, of losing a child.
00:28:28
Jo
Right.
00:28:29
Stephanie
And I didn't want to go through this again. But at least now was prepared because I knew I was going to lose it, you know, because I know what my situation is now, you know, and but he just wouldn't accept it. He was like, nope, nope, miracles happen.
00:28:40
Stephanie
you I want to be a dad. He was so excited. He was just, you know. And then in the end, um yeah, obviously, without going to the whole story, it's a crazy story of how it happened. But I did end up having even though and he took he was so gentle with me before he always was. And it didn't hit me until many years later.
00:28:58
Stephanie
Exactly what happened. Both of us realized that actually where they where it started, the whole abuse, you know. It was um when he finally, it finally, i had the miscarriage, I had a miscarriage obviously,
Sister's Cancer and Emotional Support
00:29:10
Stephanie
and he took it really hard, harder than me even, you know, and I didn't really understand at the time because I guess it was kind of busy in my own world and didn't realize how much it had affected him.
00:29:10
Jo
Right.
00:29:21
Stephanie
And it wasn't until many years later, we actually talked many years later after everything. And he told me that, and he said, when he found out like all he ever wanted in his life was to be a father,
00:29:36
Stephanie
Strangely enough, guys think like that too. And I think, and that's when we realized that's when the abuse started. and it's like, he said, he was trying to get rid of me.
00:29:41
Jo
Right.
00:29:43
Stephanie
He just wanted, he just wanted me to leave. But then every time he tried to get me to leave, he would want me to stay and he didn't want me to leave. So it was a constant back and forth with him, you know, and I didn't even see it.
00:29:55
Stephanie
And so it's, it's interesting, you know,
00:29:59
Jo
that's That's some deep psychology right there. And it goes into, you know, I'm so sorry to hear of this, of course, and and does go into the next part.
00:30:12
Jo
When you know your sister's dying, how are you handling that? Because you you know that your miscarriage was coming and you and then the abuse happens. So you know your sister is dying.
00:30:23
Jo
How do you handle it?
00:30:24
Stephanie
Oh, that I did not handle well. I did not.
00:30:26
Jo
Okay.
00:30:27
Stephanie
i um oh I was a mess. I had just moved here.
00:30:31
Jo
For Montreal, yeah.
00:30:31
Stephanie
And to the city, and this is a city I always wanted to live in. And, you know, this is, well, here in Montreal.
00:30:37
Jo
montreal
00:30:37
Stephanie
and Montreal. I love it. I love this city. And um it was my dream to always move here. And then when I moved, I didn't, my sister wasn't sick when I moved here, but then she was. And it was like, it was almost as soon as I moved here.
00:30:50
Stephanie
And I was just, and then what we found out. Well, actually, I think she had like a throat cancer before that, but it was, oh, it's going to go away. You know, well, the doctor is going to chemotherapy or whatever.
00:31:00
Stephanie
It's all going to go away.
00:31:00
Jo
Right. Right.
00:31:01
Stephanie
And and i i I tend to sometimes be a little bit too optimistic, not realistic. In my mind, I believed that she was going to be fine, you know, and she was taking it like a trooper. So, you know, and then I moved to Montreal. And then when I found out that she wasn't going to get through it, like it was going to be about she was going to last about a year.
00:31:21
Stephanie
or two and um wow i mean I had just moved to Montreal of I was devastated like I couldn't work I couldn't keep a job I was crying all the time and that's not like me you know at this point like I said I i changed a lot happened throughout those years that made me a lot tougher you know and now I'm crying again ah in a way it was almost relieved to be crying because I thought I lost that ability you know
00:31:33
Jo
Oh. Yeah.
00:31:37
Jo
yeah
00:31:48
Stephanie
But um no, I gained that right back. and um And because of that, I was crying all the time. And and um I even told my sister one time, I said, i said, that's it. I'm just going to move to Sudbury because that's where my sister was living then.
00:32:02
Stephanie
And um yeah, we're we're just going to, yeah, we're going to get together. Yeah, I'm going to move there. i i just got i got it my degree in psychology. That's right. I went to school.
00:32:11
Jo
Yeah, there you go.
00:32:12
Stephanie
And and um ah during that time, I went to school late.
00:32:13
Jo
See?
00:32:15
Stephanie
I was 36 or 37 when I went to university, I think.
00:32:17
Jo
But you went. You went and you got your stuff. That's cool, man.
00:32:21
Stephanie
Yeah, I got it. But, you know, here I have this degree. And, you know, when I couldn't get it because, yeah, because the reason I couldn't use it
00:32:30
Jo
Fireworks.
00:32:32
Stephanie
Yeah. But ah yeah, it's a lot of bad shit that happened. And ah yeah, so I couldn't really use it. But I was like, okay, well, I can move to Sudbury and I can take I can take care of you there. I'll get a job there.
00:32:43
Stephanie
and then she got she got mad at me. She says, No, don't you dare. She says, you've been wanting to move to Montreal all your life.
00:32:47
Jo
Right.
00:32:49
Stephanie
And now ah you're gonna what you're going to move here, take care of me. and and what then I'm going to be gone in a year and then you're stuck here, you're going be stuck here just like I was. You know, she says, No, you stay exactly where you are, you know, and do it, we'll do what we can and you know, I'll be fine. ah And, and her, she said, she'd tell me her friends were helping. Like my sister had a lot of help. She, she was very well loved and she had certain friends that were, she had one friend even pay for her a trip to ah the Dominican her Republic at one point.
00:33:20
Jo
Oh, cool. Nice. Yeah.
00:33:21
Stephanie
I know it's just brought, just paid for, for everything. You know, my parents took her to Disneyland. You know, like, ah so she got spoiled, you know, because that's what everyone wanted to do. And I wish I could have spoiled her. But at the time I had, like I said, I had no job. i had no money. I could barely afford to drive down there, you know, to see her.
00:33:40
Stephanie
um But yeah. it um But that's how it was. Yeah. Yeah.
00:33:48
Jo
So that's what she was still looking out for you even when she was going through that because she knew, and maybe rightfully so, it's kind of the town would trap you.
00:33:48
Stephanie
Yes.
00:33:54
Stephanie
Yes. yes
00:34:04
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:34:04
Jo
Like, oh, you moved that. Good luck. Can't move away ever again. you know And this is the place you want to be.
00:34:08
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:34:09
Jo
So she was like, well. So she was doing a lot of trips. What was the last road trip then? What was the last road trip?
00:34:18
Stephanie
Well, the last road trip was, that was her part of the story, right?
00:34:22
Jo
Right.
00:34:22
Stephanie
Like um her part of the story where she talks about, um like I mentioned earlier, um just how she felt about being, uh, having cancer and mentally and physically the pain she was going through on a daily basis.
00:34:22
Jo
Yeah. Right.
00:34:35
Stephanie
I mean, she had her kids with her and she was still having to have a smile on her face all the time, you know? And, uh, I'm sure that couldn't have been easy, but she did it. She came to Montreal, even on that road trip, she came to Montreal to come see me. She had the kids with her. They were 12 and nine at the time. And, uh,
00:34:52
Stephanie
Yeah. And the and the kids and and the kids were always, she was so good. Like one at one point she, during the road trip, she actually had a medical emergency where she passed out on the side of the road, driving her car.
00:35:04
Stephanie
Well, I mean, she wasn't driving at the time, but she, she knew to pull over, but she was unconscious.
00:35:06
Jo
That's you. Right.
00:35:09
Stephanie
The kids had to call 911. The ambulance came. and and at the time, and once the kids, they took my mom, you know, the, the kids were like, hey, we get to ride in an ambulance, you know, and my sister's half cars like, ya you know what
00:35:24
Jo
It's like one more road trip thing.
00:35:26
Stephanie
yeah, they managed to get back. But, um you know, is she just had to, i guess she she was, she just ended up reaching a low level with the cancer and she was really sick. And a lot of people don't realize how hard that is sometimes, but.
00:35:40
Stephanie
Yeah, but she dealt with it. She dealt with She was tough, my sister, man, when I think about it. She was and still trying to keep a smile on her face for everybody.
00:35:46
Jo
Yeah.
00:35:47
Stephanie
And even up until she even she died with a smile on her face, if that makes sense. And we were there.
00:35:55
Jo
sense
00:35:57
Stephanie
Well, mean, I... we were trying to be there in reality. My, uh, my parents were there, uh, yeah, when she was taking her last breath, but when I saw her, yeah, she had a smile on her face thereafter. And yeah, the kids were there.
00:36:14
Stephanie
i remember they, that was a, that was a disturbing vision though. It's like, uh, the kids were on her body and they refused to get off.
Preserving Sister's Legacy
00:36:22
Stephanie
You know, they were hysterical and crying and yeah.
00:36:22
Jo
Oh, wow. i They don't understand death then.
00:36:27
Stephanie
And, um, But that was two things my sister made me promise before she died. You know, she said, okay, I have two things you have to promise me. I said, okay.
00:36:37
Stephanie
ah The first thing, take care of my kids or don't like, don't take care of them. Like I couldn't take care of them financially, but be there for them emotionally and support them any way you can.
00:36:44
Jo
But make sure they're...
00:36:51
Stephanie
Like be there for the weddings and the funerals and the, you know, the graduations and,
00:36:56
Jo
you
00:36:56
Stephanie
you know, and because I won't be there and I want you to be there and be proud of them and, you know, do everything you can because I know their dad won't be there for that. And he really wasn't. He's not a very emotional person.
00:37:10
Stephanie
But yeah, whatever. Anyways, the kids were there. I was there for the kids for as much as I could. And um Yeah, and and I did. And the second one, of course, the second promise was she that's when she told me about her journal that she had in a the journal that she had. I had no idea. Nobody knew that she had written this journal, you know, during this road trip that she took to go visit the family.
00:37:36
Stephanie
And so she said, I want you to take this journal, go find it, get it published. but Fix it up if you have to, you know, spelling errors.
00:37:44
Jo
Right.
00:37:44
Stephanie
i know you're good at that, you know, but at the same point, I want you to write your experience. I want you to write what you felt from your point of view, you know.
00:37:55
Stephanie
because I know you'll be able to do that. And she says, you've been wanting to write a book since you were 15. Said, and you never, ever did it. You kept it because my sister used to get mad at me. I'd go visit her.
00:38:05
Stephanie
i had I still have a huge box of, you know, little snippets and things that I write and unfinished stories and, you know, articles and things. And my sister would read them and she would say, you're so good.
00:38:18
Stephanie
Why don't you do something?
00:38:19
Jo
get a polish
00:38:19
Stephanie
Finish this. And she'd get so mad at me. she Or she'd talk to you. Why aren't this even finished? Because that's how she talked. they she She whispered when she talked and yelled.
00:38:29
Jo
the whisper yell yes yeah
00:38:30
Stephanie
Whisper yell. Yeah, it was funny. And you could hear her anywhere like coming in. It's like, oh, there's Jose. She's mad again. But yeah, ah she but yeah, she that's what she told me. She says, I want you to finish this.
00:38:42
Stephanie
You've always wanted to be a writer. And now you have to do it. Yeah. So it's like, this is a so yeah, so I, I told her I promised her she's I promised her I would finish it and I did.
00:38:55
Stephanie
So I did.
00:38:55
Jo
You did. You did. And that's you kept both promises.
00:38:57
Stephanie
Yes, I did.
00:38:58
Jo
You really did. Because I've been there for your phone calls and voice chats and video chats. Voice chats, Jesus, man. Video chats with your niece and nephew. You've always been there for them.
00:39:11
Stephanie
Yes, yes.
00:39:12
Jo
Emotionally, absolutely. You always have been there. and that's And that's a testament to the person you are You kept your promises. i I think that's one thing I know about you. You keep promises. Not everyone does.
00:39:22
Stephanie
I do.
00:39:23
Jo
but you go out of your way to keep promises. And then that became chemotherapy and tequila, the last road trip.
00:39:33
Stephanie
Yes.
00:39:33
Jo
Right.
00:39:34
Stephanie
And if you're, I was just going to say, if you're wondering about the tequila part, why i use tequila, because for us, that was our greeting thing.
00:39:34
Jo
And Okay.
00:39:43
Stephanie
We would always like have a shot of tequila because we lived in different towns and we'd always meet up at a bar and be like, tequila, tequila.
00:39:47
Jo
Right.
00:39:50
Jo
I was going to ask that.
00:39:51
Stephanie
So I got this tattoo.
00:39:52
Jo
was going to say, I knew your tattoo. I knew it was a tattoo. I was like, oh, that's tattoo. So that was a tattoo for her as well.
00:39:58
Stephanie
Yes, that's exactly why I got this tattoo. It has the the the tequila glasses. So it's upside down, I think.
00:40:04
Jo
It's upside down in the monitor.
00:40:06
Stephanie
But
00:40:07
Jo
You must go on one of these. So you memorialize her on your body.
00:40:11
Stephanie
yes, I have.
00:40:13
Jo
And in prosperity through the book, which is very cool.
00:40:14
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:40:17
Jo
So
00:40:17
Stephanie
Yeah, yeah.
00:40:18
Jo
Chemotherapy and tequila. I can't talk. I need some tequila to talk maybe. the Chemotherapy and tequila by The Last Road Trip by Stephanie Roy.
Future Plans for Book Adaptation
00:40:30
Jo
Can I ask one more question about this? And you can just say, next question if you're uncomfortable with it.
00:40:36
Stephanie
Okay.
00:40:36
Jo
I read the book. I love the book. I think everyone who's going through experiences, either losing a loved one or is that loved one who's going through this should absolutely read the book.
00:40:48
Jo
It's not all sunshine. It ain't. But neither is life. It's an honest reveal of it. and i I don't like the books when they sugarcoat shit. and Like, oh, everything's fun. Like, no, it's not fun. Like, you have to be really honest with it.
00:41:01
Jo
And that's what your book does. really do enjoy it. I heard a rumor that maybe the book is not the end of that story and that might go into a visual medium.
00:41:16
Jo
I guess books are visual mediums, but audio, visual, medium. that real? That's better word for it. Is that rumor true? Are you working on something?
00:41:23
Stephanie
ah Well, I was um for the, you mean, do you mean like about that? You mean like ah continuing like my story? I mean, yeah, well, umm because because that's one thing i I thought about.
00:41:32
Jo
However you wish to do it.
00:41:36
Stephanie
I was actually going to write a book, ah write a movie about the book.
00:41:41
Jo
Yeah.
00:41:42
Stephanie
And um then do it my way because it didn't, ah I think the book was was great, but there's a lot of things in there might've left out, you know, because of certain issues.
00:41:45
Jo
Absolutely.
00:41:55
Stephanie
But yeah, I, but ah yeah, but I, so I did actually write the the script for the movie, thanks to certain people that that were showing me how to write a screenplay.
00:41:56
Jo
Right.
00:41:58
Jo
Fireworks.
00:42:07
Jo
Those sons of bitches.
00:42:09
Stephanie
Yeah. And um but I did write it and um I think it turned out okay. But then I realized have just for certain issues, I thought maybe it might be a bit much already.
00:42:19
Stephanie
So instead I decided i took someone's advice and decided I'm going to write my own story instead.
00:42:24
Jo
Damn right.
00:42:25
Stephanie
Yes. And that's what I'm doing because it's a, so it's probably going to be, obviously it's going incorporated.
00:42:27
Jo
I feel. Yeah. Right.
00:42:30
Stephanie
and Her story is going incorporated in there slightly because I mean, she she was a huge part of my life, you know?
00:42:31
Jo
yeah
00:42:37
Stephanie
But the story goes on. It's like a lot of things happened during that time, after that time. ah There was a lot in between that I couldn't write about in the book, that were things that were happening with me at the time.
00:42:49
Stephanie
And, you know, aside from, you know, I mean, sometimes, sometimes I forget I was even married before, you know, because it was such a long part of my life.
00:43:00
Stephanie
just, because I, you know,
00:43:00
Jo
That was a bit ago. i was when you're like a sweet teen.
00:43:05
Stephanie
Yeah, I know. It's like ah until I was 26.
00:43:07
Jo
like team
00:43:07
Stephanie
But yeah, that part of my life seems so insignificant now. You know, and I look at everything else that happened afterwards. I mean, you know, there was a lot of lot of things that happened. And that's what I'm writing about, because the the whole point is I want to be able to.
00:43:23
Stephanie
Because I realized myself, I there were a lot of failures, a lot of failures in my life. And um I've always managed to get up from them and keep going anyways. And I guess that's why I want to do this series.
00:43:33
Jo
Right,
00:43:35
Stephanie
i want I'm working. I was going to write a movie on it. And then I realized there's too much going on. I can't put it's like the whole Dark Tower series. You know, you can't put the Dark Tower series in one movie.
00:43:43
Jo
right it works better as a series. Yeah, right.
00:43:45
Stephanie
It's impossible. So without missing out in very important aspects.
00:43:49
Jo
A lot of stuff, right.
00:43:51
Stephanie
So I thought, yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to work on a TV series. So I it's like different parts and it's actually working out really well.
00:43:55
Jo
Very
00:43:59
Stephanie
I'm working on it now.
00:44:00
Jo
ah cool.
00:44:01
Stephanie
It's also late, but then like the book, it's kind of a therapy too, right? he And you're,
00:44:06
Jo
You exercise as you do it. Absolutely.
Reflections and Farewell
00:44:08
Jo
And I look forward to it mean it says something we We talk a lot and I was like, this is making a great movie in my mind and I can't wait to see the series.
00:44:17
Stephanie
Yeah, I'm excited.
00:44:18
Jo
That would be wonderful.
00:44:19
Stephanie
i'
00:44:20
Jo
That's so cool.
00:44:20
Stephanie
But, um,
00:44:21
Jo
I'm going to ask you one last question, young lady.
00:44:25
Stephanie
okay.
00:44:26
Jo
And this is going very weird question. I usually ask this, but this might be more poignant for you because you are markedly two different people from one age to another.
00:44:38
Jo
If you can go back in time and give younger you, I mean, teenage year or younger you advice, what would you do? What would you say?
00:44:50
Stephanie
I guess I would have to say, well, aside from don't get married, but at the same time, I don't really want to say that either because I mean, that's something that you learn. I learned, you know, as much as i I don't regret it.
00:45:00
Jo
End the
00:45:01
Stephanie
So I can't say that, but I guess I would say, hang in there. I mean, I know that sounds cliche, but you just hang in there because I mean, it's life is going to get rough. It's going to get rough.
00:45:12
Stephanie
But the good and and and I used to say this to my teenagers all the time. I used to work in a teen center, you know, and um because when you're young, everything's a when you're young, it's like everything's such a disaster.
00:45:24
Stephanie
You know, you think that your life is over.
00:45:25
Jo
end of the world
00:45:26
Stephanie
It's like that boy doesn't like me or or I'm fat or I'm skinny or I smell bad or whatever. You know what I mean? You're always different.
00:45:34
Jo
All the above, yeah. They're
00:45:35
Stephanie
Yeah, all the above. But it's like, but it's like, and but it's such a disaster. And I mean, there's so much of a teen suicide I see, you know, and ah teens are the worst for it, the worst victims of that, because they do think that life is horrible.
00:45:50
Stephanie
And it's awful. It's a disaster. And you know what i tell those teenagers, I always tell them, okay, I got good news and bad news. The bad news is life is going to get it a lot harder from here on out.
00:46:02
Jo
like, thanks, woman.
00:46:02
Stephanie
But But the good news is eventually things are going to happen that are going to toughen you up and you're going to develop the tools that you need to deal with those kinds of things. Right now you don't have those tools because you don't have that kind of experience just yet.
00:46:17
Stephanie
Then that's why things look so as hard as they do. And I get that. I've been there too, you know, but just hang in there because it's, it's the thing is get easier to life. Doesn't get easier, but the way you deal with things is going to get a lot easier.
00:46:32
Jo
because I think you hit it on the head because they don't have the tools yet. no one what The only way to get those tools is to keep living through it.
00:46:40
Stephanie
Yeah, you keep pushing through it.
00:46:41
Jo
The only way get you don' yep you can't go Amazon for that one. You have to go through it and develop your own. And then there's always like there there's the sweet moments of life that are very much worth living for it.
00:46:47
Stephanie
Yeah.
00:46:51
Jo
So that was very cool. And we... I cannot wait. I'm going to absolutely go read the books again. going to be Chemotherapy and Tequila, The Last Road Trip by Stephanie Roy, who is my very special guest.
00:47:05
Jo
Steph, it was wonderful. Thank you. I love you. i' will see you soon.
00:47:11
Stephanie
You too.
00:47:11
Jo
and behalf of myself, Joe and Stephanie, we bid you good day. Bye, y'alls.
00:47:17
Stephanie
Bye.