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Finding Faith to Forgive - Joseph Series
90 Plays2 years ago
Today's sermon is all about finding the faith to forgive. In a world where forgiveness is often misunderstood, we'll discuss the true purpose of forgiveness and how it can truly set us free. We'll explore the misconceptions surrounding forgiveness and why it's important to reconcile with those who have hurt us. From the stories of Joseph and David to the speaker's own personal journey of forgiveness, we'll dive deep into the transformative power of forgiveness and how it can shape our relationships and our faith.
Timestamps:
00:00:37 God blesses after deep hurts and trials.
00:05:31 "Forgiveness is key; let go, move forward."
00:07:46 Choose transparency, embrace healing, reject Satan's grasp.
00:11:22 Messing up God's plan by rushing it.
00:13:47 Forgiveness granted, but consequences still remain.
00:17:30 Missing her, but focusing on the future.
00:20:04 Repentance needed for forgiveness and healing.
00:25:34 In that moment, she didn't let me down. I'm still trying to gain her trust. Be willing to grant trust. Luke 16 10-12 supports trust restoration.
00:28:47 "I promise not to repeat mistakes again."
00:31:20 Ultimate goal: forgiveness, reconciliation, no bitterness.
00:35:35 Past: stepping stone or millstone. Forgiveness offers freedom. Pray for transparency, heart to be set free.
00:36:33 Prayer for forgiveness and acceptance from God.
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Transcript
Introduction to Forgiveness
00:00:00
Speaker
I want you to take a second and just think about your life right now because the subject we're talking about today is forgiveness and forgiveness is something that touches every single one of us in some aspect of our lives. In fact, I would encourage you right now just to say, okay, God, what in my life have I not forgiven or where am I needing forgiveness?
00:00:19
Speaker
I just kind of want you to ask God to kind of bring that to the forefront of your attention, shove aside world events, shove aside weekly calendars, those kinds of things. I want you to think about where it is in your life that forgiveness applies to who you are and where you are.
Trials and Character Development
00:00:37
Speaker
A.W. Tozer, pastor and author, said this once, it is doubtful whether God can bless a man greatly until he has hurt him deeply. And I pondered that
00:00:49
Speaker
quote, as I was thinking over the sermon a few weeks ago, the reality of the fact that many of us, in fact, I would I would probably suggest most of us, if not all of us, have to go through these periods of trial and adversity and discouragement and frustration in order to get to where God wants us. If you track the life of Joseph, Joseph went through all these things that we've talked about over the last several weeks so that God could mold his character and mold his heart to get him to a place where he was ready to be second command in Egypt.
00:01:18
Speaker
But you can look at the characters of many of the Bible stories that we know that are familiar to us, and you can see examples like in the life of David. David is told you're going to be a king at a young age. He's anointed for that purpose, but he doesn't immediately become king. Why? Because God's still got some lions, tigers, and bears he needs to face in order to get his heart ready to be the leader of the nation. There are many other stories that go along that track. Job is probably one of the more famous ones.
00:01:44
Speaker
If you think about Job's life, Job's life tracks right along with Joseph's life in that he experienced all kinds of loss. He lost his crops, he lost his servants, he lost his flocks, he lost his children, almost lost his faith in that journey. And he gets to this point in the book of Job, near the end of chapter 23, where he's talking
00:02:08
Speaker
to God and he says you know what everywhere I try to look I can't find you I can't feel you I don't sense you I don't know what you're up to I don't see your hand moving I can go to the north I don't feel you there I can go to the south don't feel you there everywhere I'm going I don't know what you're up to
00:02:23
Speaker
And we gotta imagine at this point when Joseph is thrown into prison that Joseph is feeling those same kinds of questions in his heart. I trust you're there. I really do, but I sure would like to see a hint of what you're up to because this has been a long journey and there's been lots of frustration.
Forgiveness in Leadership and Relationships
00:02:40
Speaker
In fact, I would bet that probably by the end of his time in prison, right before the cupbearer remembers who he is and gets him sprung from prison so that he can interpret
00:02:49
Speaker
Pharaoh's dream. I can imagine in that moment that Joseph was asking some of the same questions that Job had asked, and maybe he came to some of the same conclusions that Job did. And Job 23, let me just read the end of that passage for you, because it's a great passage. He comes to this acknowledgement. He says, yet he, talking about God,
00:03:12
Speaker
knows the way I have taken. When he has tested me, I will emerge as pure gold. So Job, just like Joseph, is acknowledging this journey I'm on, the pit, the slavery, the lies, all of that has been part of God doing something. I don't know what it is yet, but I'm trusting it. He says, my feet have followed in his tracks. I have kept to his way and not turned aside. I have not departed from his commands, from his lips. I have treasured the words from his mouth more than my daily food.
00:03:42
Speaker
So what we see in Joseph is this life that's been like on this up and down trajectory, up and down trajectory. And as he's going through these experiences, he has experienced some of the greatest hurt that probably any of us could know and knowing a family that had abandoned him and a family who sold him out. But in that process, I would suggest to you that what we are about to see is the greatest test that Joseph will face.
00:04:07
Speaker
Because as we get to this part of the story, he has now become more prosperous, even probably than his dad and the rest of his family. And more importantly, he's now become all powerful over the nation of Egypt, which means literally he holds in his hands the life and death of his brothers, the ones who have offended him.
00:04:27
Speaker
And this becomes a real test of Joseph's character to see how he's going to respond. You know, what are you going to do? You've been given this opportunity. You literally hold in your hand power and authority. You are now the number two in Egypt. You're married to a priest daughter. You've been blessed with wealth and prosperity. You've been blessed with two sons of your own. What are you going to do in this moment? And I would suggest to you again that
00:04:54
Speaker
This is a test that's probably going to test Joseph's character as much as any of the ones he's already faced at this point.
Cultural Misunderstandings of Forgiveness
00:05:00
Speaker
They say revenge is sweet, but when it's harbored, it's bitter to the core. And when we hate, we become someone else's prisoner. If you've ever uttered the words, I'll get even with them or I will show them or I will teach them or they'll get what's coming to you. Every time you utter phrases like that, what you do is you set into place another bar in the prison.
00:05:24
Speaker
And when you wake up one day, you realize that the prison isn't around the heart of the person who's offended you, it's around your own heart. And the person who holds the key is the person you need to forgive.
00:05:38
Speaker
Now, there's some miss teachings or maybe incomplete is probably the better way to put it. Incomplete teachings about forgiveness that we've allowed to sneak into our culture and therefore into the church. And we're going to unpack those a little bit today because the truth is our happiness and effectiveness for God are quite often bound up in our relationships with people around us. Our neighbors, our family members, our coworkers, and the past can make us or break us.
00:06:04
Speaker
It can be a stepping stone to our future, or it can be a millstone tied around our necks. And I would say that some of us looking at the smile on your faces, or maybe I should say the lack of a smile on your faces, your joy is not complete because you are carrying around something inside of you that's never been let go, that's never been forgiven, or maybe has never been confessed so that you can receive the forgiveness you need. So where do we start?
00:06:32
Speaker
We have to forgive our past hurts. We have to forgive our past hurts. You see, when Joseph was thrown into prison, the question probably was, why would this happen? Why would you let this happen to me, God? And the answer is very clearly God was still working on his character. He was still trying to do something in him. Well, the effectiveness of that trial and that challenge is shown in Genesis 45.
00:07:01
Speaker
trying to find the verse on the thing. Genesis forty five verses. Excuse me, just as forty one versus fifty two fifty two. No wonder I can't find it. Just as forty one fifty two fifty two. I want you to look at this with him because it says.
00:07:17
Speaker
Two sons were born to Joseph before the years of famine arrived. Asenoth, daughter of Potipharah, priest at own, bore them to him. So he's married to this priest's daughter and he's been blessed with two children and look what he does. First of all, it says Joseph named the firstborn Manasseh and said, God has made me forget all my hardship and my whole family. Now, forgetting
00:07:40
Speaker
forgetting is not something that he really is talking about here. He's not talking about, I don't remember it. Obviously he remembers it. He's talking about it, right? The word there that he's using is to say, I have chosen to set it aside so that it does not hold me back. I have chosen to put it away in its proper place so that I can
00:07:57
Speaker
relate correctly to my past and I'm not dealing with all that stuff, all that bitterness that might be there. But then he goes on and he says in verse 52, the second son he named Ephraim, God has made me fruitful in the land of my affliction. So because of the character development that had gone on in Joseph, Joseph is willing to recognize
00:08:16
Speaker
I have been blessed in spite of all the affliction that I've gone through, all of the troubles I have experienced, everything that's happened to me here in Egypt. I am at a place now where I am experiencing what God has for me next. What we're going to talk about this morning may be a little bit different than you've ever heard it if you grew up in church. I want you to open your heart and hear entirely what we're talking about because
00:08:39
Speaker
Transparency, we talk about it a great deal here at this church. Transparency is one of the best tools that God has for bringing you healing. And on the flip side of that, your unwillingness to be transparent about your brokenness and your sin and the need for forgiveness, that is a tool that plays right into Satan's hands. When you keep things isolated, when you keep things stored in your heart, that's exactly where Satan wants you to keep them.
00:09:07
Speaker
But when you bring it out in the open, it's then and there that God has the ability to start to work on your heart because it shows a willingness to bring it into the open and allow the Holy Spirit of God to do his work in you. Make sense? Follow where we're saying. So transparency is important. If God begins to speak to you today about a place in your life where forgiveness is important, then it's important that you act on that and bring it into the open and deal with those things. So at the end,
00:09:35
Speaker
Joseph embraced his brothers. He has this conversation with them. He tells them he loves them in verses 4 through 11. He says, hey, I want you to bring your families to Egypt so I can take care of you. I want you to forget all the things that happened in the past and let's move forward. And what he displays there in that moment is the best Old Testament example of Christlike forgiveness.
God's Timing and Heart Preparation
00:09:55
Speaker
His willingness to say to them, let's move forward and not remember the past. After all the cruelty, he's now got control over them. They are literally in his hands and he chooses to forgive. There is no quick process for refining gold, just like there's no quick process for refining a heart. I believe that those two years in prison were necessary for Joseph so that his heart could be remolded into what God wanted it to be. So here's an important lesson for all of us this morning in our walk with the Lord.
00:10:25
Speaker
God is always working while his people are waiting. God is always working while his people are waiting. You may be sitting there this morning going, well, God, what are you up to? I haven't heard from you in a while. You've seen my situation. You know I've been at this place for a long, long time. God, what are you up to? Be reminded that God is always working even while it seems like you're having to sit and wait.
00:10:48
Speaker
You may look at the stage of your life and it looks like the curtains are drawn, that God's at work behind the curtains. He's preparing something for you. It's the same reason that God told Noah, you're going to build an ark, there's going to be a flood, but it's going to be a long time from now while you're building that ark. Why? Because God was using the meantime to work on Noah's heart to prepare him for what was next. Abraham, he said to Abraham, you're going to be the father of many people. You're so numerous that you're more numerous than the stars. And oh, by the way, you're going to have to wait.
00:11:18
Speaker
Why? Because he was working on Abraham. He was working on Sarah. And when we do what Abraham did in his situation in short circuit, the process, we mess up God's plan for what we're trying. He's trying to do in us. OK, again, going back to the Middle East, that's why we have the mess in the Middle East today is because Abraham and Sarah jumped the gun. They did it on their way, their time frame by their plan. And because of that, we're we're still paying for the consequences of that today.
Clarifying Forgiveness and Consequences
00:11:45
Speaker
So remember that God is always working. And if Joseph had rushed the process in his situation, if he had tried to get out of prison sooner than the two years, then there's a real good chance that the forgiveness that he offers to his brothers later on never happens. And again, the story is thrown off course. So let's talk a little bit about what forgiveness is not. OK, this is really important. Let's talk about what forgiveness is not. Number one, forgiveness is not forgetting.
00:12:12
Speaker
Forgiveness is not forgetting. We don't have the ability, short of illness or injury, we don't have the ability to forget things. Scientists tell us today that the average human being and even some of the most intelligent ones, intelligent ones, I'm not one of those, if one of the most intelligent ones use less than 10% of their brain capacity.
00:12:37
Speaker
There's all this incredible things that God has done with our brain and given us the ability to do. We can remember phone numbers, we can remember dates, we can remember statistics, we can remember all kinds of things. We'll be writing down the road, we'll hear song and all of a sudden we flash back to a date 30 years ago.
00:12:52
Speaker
first date with our wife or some experience that we had all of those things are trapped in our brain even now they're saying that some of the science is showing that the normal diseases that cause us not to remember things like Alzheimer's and dementia are actually not because the brain has been washed of its memories but it's having trouble bringing those memories back to the front so those memories are always there so what am I trying to tell you if you're sitting here going you know what I've forgiven but I just can't forget
00:13:19
Speaker
Well, congratulations, you're not needing to. You can't. You don't have the ability to forget. What you do have the ability is to make a mental commitment to live towards your future instead of going back and pulling those memories up all the time. OK? But let's say this morning that Zach offended me. Shame on you. And because he offended me, we had to have this really hard conversation as brothers in Christ where he came to me and said, you know what, I did wrong. I'm sorry. And I forgave him.
00:13:49
Speaker
Forgiveness has been granted, but that doesn't mean that there aren't going to be days where I don't look at him and go, I remember what he did to me. And in those moments, what's going to have to happen is I'm going to have to choose to continue to live with forgiveness in my heart towards him. I'm not going to be able to forget it, but I do need to forgive it. Okay.
00:14:08
Speaker
Secondly, forgiveness is not the elimination of all consequences. There's lots of great examples here, but I just mentioned probably one of the greatest, and that is the reality that even though Abraham and Sarah were forgiven for not doing what God asked them to do by waiting, we're still dealing with the consequences of a choice that they made not to obey God's rules. More currently, you might talk about
00:14:30
Speaker
marriage relationship where a husband gets outside the bounds of marriage and chooses to have an illicit relationship with somebody else. He may come back and ask that wife for forgiveness years after the divorce occurs, but that's not going to undo the harm that's been done. It's not going to undo the brokenness that was in the marriage. That's not some automatic rewind on life where things are already fixed.
00:14:50
Speaker
So consequences remain. In fact, in the book of Proverbs, he talks about this in verse three, he says, do not despise the Lord's instruction, my son, and do not loathe his discipline. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, just as a father disciplines the son in whom he delights. So many times the consequences that come in our life are actually God's way of correcting us, disciplining us, and reminding us that you did this, don't do it again.
00:15:17
Speaker
Okay. Perfect example. One day I'm sitting in my house. We had just moved into this new house in Thompson station shortly after Lisa and I got married and I heard the back door slam and my son came in with that look on his face. And he looked at me and he goes, dad, I just broke the window in the garage. I said to him, okay, I appreciate you coming and being honest with me. He said, okay, that's it. I said, no, it's coming out of your allowance. So forgiveness was granted immediately, but there was a consequence. Why? Because I wanted my son to realize you don't go throwing the baseball against the garage door.
00:15:48
Speaker
That's a dumb move, right? So we're trying to correct behaviors in the past. So consequences are given which form a positive way of discipling us in our lives. Many times God will not remove that consequence because he wants it there for correction. Forgiveness is also not a feeling. It's not a feeling. It's a mental commitment to pardon the offender in your life. It's not a feeling. Any of you ever woke up after you've been offended by somebody and gone, I really feel like forgiving them today.
00:16:18
Speaker
No, human nature says I want to get even, I want to get back what's mine, I want to get back what's lost. No, our gut says I feel this way and that's when it's very important you be reminded it's a mental decision you make because you've looked at the past, you've looked at the future and you've decided it's more important you live for your future instead of keeping on living in your past. Does that make sense? So in my story, some of you are familiar with my story,
00:16:43
Speaker
19 years ago, wife killed in the car accident and my son four days later was overdosed by a medication overdose at a hospital that killed him instantly.
Personal Stories of Forgiveness
00:16:51
Speaker
I can tell you 19 years later, even though I have offered forgiveness to both of the people involved, the driver and the pharmacist, there are some days I'll wake up and I would love to find that driver and hit him right smack in the face because of what he did to my family. That's just honest. Same thing's true for a woman who is a pharmacist.
00:17:12
Speaker
Neither one of them did it intentionally, but there's still the side of me that says, you know what? I can't undo what you did to me. It hurts even 19 years later. And even though I have been blessed in incredible ways, I got two beautiful daughters out of my new marriage, and I have this incredible, incredible, incredible wife. Did I tell you I miss her?
00:17:32
Speaker
Even though I have all of those things, they're still the side of me that wants to feel, wants to go back and correct it, but I can't. So every day, sometimes more days than others, it's important that I have that mental decision. My future is just more important.
00:17:48
Speaker
In fact, shortly after the accident, one of the things that really began to start changing my heart immediately was when my two surviving kids from the accident came into my hospital room. And the first thing I felt God saying to me in that moment was, you know what? Those two kids are going to need a good dad the rest of their life, and you can't be the dad they need if you hold on to bitterness. Now, in that moment, if you'd asked me, do you feel like forgiving anybody? I would have said, heck no. I'm probably not that nicely. But I thought to myself, you know what? I've got to do what's the right thing.
00:18:17
Speaker
Okay? So forgiveness is not a feeling, it's a mental decision. Forgiveness is also not the solitary act of an individual. Now this is something we're going to unpack a lot as we go through the remainder of this service, but I want you to hear this. Forgiveness always involves two plus people.
00:18:33
Speaker
There's always at least two people involved, sometimes more, and this is where confession and repentance come into play. Forgiveness is not only about what happens in the offended person's heart, it is a transaction between two people.
00:18:48
Speaker
So here's where I want to begin to draw a little bit of a distinction, and this is where I think some of the teaching has been wrong for us. There is an attitude of forgiveness we are encouraged to have as Christians, but there's also an act of forgiveness. Follow me on this. The goal of forgiveness is always about what?
00:19:07
Speaker
Restoration, reconciliation, it's about fixing the relationship. When you and I come to Jesus Christ and say, I confess my sins and I repent of my sins, it's about restoring us in right relationship with God, okay? So every act of forgiveness is a modeling after what Christ has done for us.
00:19:25
Speaker
So I can have an attitude of forgiveness. That's what what Bible talks about when it says have the same spirit that Jesus had and forgiving you just as you have been forgiven forgive others. That's the attitude of forgiveness. But the part that we don't talk about much and what we don't understand and where the teaching has been a little bit incomplete is the attitude of forgiveness. You can't forgive someone who doesn't ask for it. The transaction is not complete.
00:19:54
Speaker
follow me on this I got two examples for you one from the Old Testament the other one from the New Testament so you can't say I played favorites alright 2nd Chronicles 7 verse 14 this is a verse we all love to quote we love to bring it out read it especially during seasons like this when all the mess is going on in the Middle East and Ukraine says this
00:20:12
Speaker
Verse 13 it says if I shut the sky so there is no rain or if I command a grasshopper to consume the land Or if I send a pestilence on my people and my people who bear my name humble themselves Pray and seek my faith and turn from their evil ways, which is literally what repentance means Then will I hear from heaven?
00:20:33
Speaker
forgive their sin and heal their land. Do you hear the if then statement? If my people confess and humble and turn from their sin, then will I hear, but not until then.
Transactional Nature of Forgiveness
00:20:43
Speaker
Okay. Second example is in John, first John chapter one verse nine, another very familiar passage, but I'm going to read it to you just so you don't think I made it up.
00:20:52
Speaker
First John, one nine, if we confess our sins, if we confess our sins, then he is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Christ's forgiveness of you cannot be completely full in its transaction until you confess and repent of the sin. OK, so people immediately go, well, what about Jesus on the cross when he said, Father, forgive them? They don't know what they're doing.
00:21:20
Speaker
Let me ask you this, did everybody at the foot of the cross go to heaven? That was a great answer. What was that? Good answer, young man. Yes, they did not go to heaven. Why? Because they didn't receive the forgiveness that was offered at the cross. Until they confess their sins, repent their sins, there cannot be reconciliation that brings the grace and the mercy that God offers. God offers forgiveness to all of us, but until you receive it, you don't get it.
00:21:50
Speaker
Let me go back and pick on Zach because he's a good stooge right here in the front row. If Zach were to write me a check for $1,000, which isn't going to happen, and he were to bring it up to me, and I were to say to him, thanks, but I'm not going to take that, which also isn't going to happen. He could not correctly say, I have given Ridley a gift of $1,000.
00:22:15
Speaker
He could say, I offered a gift of a thousand dollars, but until I receive it, it's not a gift. Does that make sense?
00:22:23
Speaker
So many of us today are walking around with this incomplete understanding of forgiveness. We understand the importance of the attitude of forgiveness, which is absolutely essential. And it is a command that God has given us. We should have an attitude that says, I will forgive if the opportunity comes. That's for us to free us from that bitterness. But the transaction, the act of forgiveness cannot be completed until somebody comes and says, I did wrong and I will not do it again.
00:22:50
Speaker
Okay? Confession is just a fancy word of saying, I agree with you that what I did was wrong. When you confess to God, all you're saying is, God, you were right. That was a bad, bad move. That was a sin. Repentance is literally 180 degree turn. It says I'm going in a different direction. I'm not choosing to do that sin anymore. All right?
00:23:08
Speaker
So, next, forgiveness is not selfish or motivated by self-interest. You might be surprised to know this. You don't forgive for your sake or to relieve yourself from stress. Now, does it help you with your bitterness? Yes, absolutely. But the reason that you and I forgive is because we were commanded to. The Bible says,
00:23:29
Speaker
Forgive others as Christ has forgiven you. It's a command, not a suggestion, not a self-help tip. It is a command that we forgive each other. So why do we forgive? We forgive because we love God. We forgive because we love our neighbors. We forgive because we are grateful for the forgiveness we have been given. But you don't forgive in order to get something out of it.
Trust and Forgiveness: Building Over Time
00:23:51
Speaker
You forgive because you've already received everything you received in forgiveness yourself. Okay?
00:23:57
Speaker
Next, forgiveness is not the automatic restoration of trust. Some of you right now are going to breathe the sigh of relief because when I have sat in counseling sessions with people, many times what I hear people say is, I forgive them, but I don't think I can trust them again. And I will say to them, that's okay. That's not a requirement. Okay. You go home this afternoon, look Genesis through Revelation, you can Google it. There is nowhere in the Bible that we are commanded to trust anybody but God.
00:24:27
Speaker
Okay? You know why we're not commanded to trust each other? Because none of us are trustworthy. None of us. Our command is to trust God. Okay? So when we are granting forgiveness, it's not that we're supposed to give trust back to them because that's hard. Trust is something that is earned. It's earned by our willingness to over and over again continue to do the right thing, to choose the right action. If you were here last week, I shared a story about me and my wife.
00:24:55
Speaker
Me and my wife had that moment, that conversation, where I came home, and in that situation, I had broken trust. That was eight, maybe nine years ago, and there are still moments today where I know that a question that Lisa asked me is because I broke trust back then. Okay? You follow me on that? I don't have that problem with Lisa. Lisa will look at me, she'll go, you don't have a problem that I was talking to so-and-so? I'm like, no. She's like, why? I said, because I trust you completely.
00:25:22
Speaker
You've never broken my trust. I have no reason to doubt you. You, on the other hand, had a reason to doubt me. I have no reason to doubt you. I could fill my wife into a room full of half-dressed men and not worry about anything that she does, especially if it were you guys. But in that moment, I could trust her because she didn't let me down. Me, I feel like even nine years later, rightfully so, I'm still trying to do everything I can to gain back the trust that my wife wants to place in me.
00:25:52
Speaker
Now, word of caution, if somebody's trying to work to earn your trust back, you have to be willing to grant it. You can't use that as a manipulation tool and go, I just don't trust you anymore.
00:26:02
Speaker
Okay, there has to come a place where that trust does get the opportunity to be restored. Now immediately you're going, okay, show me something in scripture that proves this, right? I'm not gonna read it for time's sake, but in Luke 16, 10 through 12, there is this passage. Actually, let's go ahead and read it. I'm just gonna do it. Jesus is talking, he said, whoever is faithful and very little is also faithful and much, and whoever is unrighteous and very little is also unrighteous and much. So if you have not been faithful with worldly wealth, who will what? Trust you.
00:26:31
Speaker
OK, so Jesus is saying there's a place where if you don't do the right thing with little things, then you don't have the trust to be given bigger things. Trust is something that we have to work to continue to earn and to continue to maintain between our relationships. And so when somebody breaks your trust by hurting your heart or betraying the relationship or doing something they shouldn't, forgiveness is the requirement. Trust is something that comes with time.
00:26:56
Speaker
So take that pressure off of yourself. If you're sitting here today confusing the two, you cannot automatically say, I forgive you and trust you right away, but you got to give it time. It's got to be something you give time to. Okay. Um, forgiveness offered is not the same as forgiveness received. This again is kind of touching on this thing that forgiveness is a transaction. There is the word, a place where the word forgiveness with no qualifier is used differently than how the Bible uses that word. Okay.
00:27:25
Speaker
We call the attitude. We've been talking about this. We call the attitude of being willing to forgive. We call that forgiveness and pretend like it's the same action as the transaction of forgiveness. But I hope we've clearly delineated that there's two different things that go on here. The attitude of forgiveness
00:27:42
Speaker
is a requirement of every believer.
Psychology vs. Biblical Forgiveness
00:27:44
Speaker
We must be willing to forgive those around us who have wronged us, just as Christ did. But the transaction can't take place. If a person is, in our world today with popular psychology, the kind of stuff that's kind of filtering its way into the church, if a person is willing to grant forgiveness, then they say he's already forgiven them.
00:28:04
Speaker
But again, that's just the attitude of there's an openness there. There's a willingness to give forgiveness if it's asked for. But this definition short-circuits the process of confession and repentance. So forgiveness offered and forgiveness received are entirely different. Now I'll be real cautious about something else here too that's reported.
00:28:23
Speaker
When somebody comes to you and confesses and repents something to you, don't dismiss it by saying, oh, that's OK. Don't worry about it or that's OK. Just forget about it, because what you do is you diminish the importance of confession and repentance. This is really important with your children.
00:28:42
Speaker
When a child, a six-year-old, a seven-year-old does something wrong and they get up the nerve to come to you and say, hey dad, I did this wrong and I promise I won't ever do it again. If you just diminish it, if you just dismiss it like it's no big deal, what you teach them is bad things about God. Follow me? Because God asked us to come and confess and repent those sins.
00:29:05
Speaker
And if we ever start to teach our kids that it's no big deal, all they have to do is just tritely say some words, then we start to teach them that that really is not an important factor in the relationship between them and God. You're looking really confused at me right now. Am I making sense here? Okay. By the way, this whole sermon conversation started a really great debate and staff meeting two weeks ago. It was like a real rarrr kind of thing, you know? So I decided not to talk about all of it.
00:29:38
Speaker
So what is forgiveness? We've talked about what it's not. Let's talk about what forgiveness is, okay? There's really great definition in a book called Unpacking Forgiveness by Chris Brauns. He gives us a definition for God's forgiveness as well as general human forgiveness. Let's talk about God's forgiveness first. We got to move quickly, so if you don't get these, you can either take a picture or talk to me afterwards and I'll give you the rest of the definition.
00:30:02
Speaker
A commitment, there's the mental part of it, a commitment by the one true God to pardon graciously those who repent, there's the repentance part of it, and believe so that they are reconciled. There's the goal of forgiveness, right? Reconciliation is always the goal of forgiveness. Although this commitment does not eliminate all the consequences, there's the consequences part of it. Consequences may remain even after forgiveness, okay?
Reconciliation as Forgiveness' Ultimate Goal
00:30:27
Speaker
So, general human forgiveness, a commitment by the offended to pardon graciously the repentant for moral liability and to be reconciled to that person, although not all consequences are necessarily eliminated. You see how the two parallel one another? There's someone who's been wronged. In our case, it's God.
00:30:47
Speaker
God has been wronged by our sinful choices, and we have to make a choice to confess, to admit that we have been doing wrong, and to be repentant in that, that we're not going to continue to follow that. Why? So that we can be reconciled. The Bible says that Jesus was sent for that rare reason. He has torn down the dividing wall between us and God. He's become the intermediary, okay?
00:31:09
Speaker
So how do we wrap all this up? Because there's important things you need to know. Biblically, forgiveness is not just something that the offended offers. It is instead a transaction that leads to reconciliation.
00:31:20
Speaker
That's the ultimate goal of forgiveness. And as I said, modern psychology has taught us some wrong things about forgiveness, that it's this one sided thing that doesn't make any difference if reconciliation is unnecessary. The purpose of forgiveness, like if we offer forgiveness to somebody who doesn't ask it, it's so that we can be free of offending, of being a
00:31:41
Speaker
offended and having bitterness in our hearts. And that's all true that we don't carry around bitterness and that's important, but it's not the end goal of forgiveness. It's always about trying to reconcile. And while the Bible does tell us that we should not harbor bitterness or repay evil, we should be sure that we follow God's lead and be careful about how we offer forgiveness and how we try to offer forgiveness to those who have not asked for it. Okay.
00:32:11
Speaker
At the same time, we should extend the offer of forgiveness and maintaining an attitude of forgiveness for all those around us. All of us should be willing to forgive those who are around us, who have offended us, in order to grant that opportunity for reconciliation
Forgiveness and Relationship with God
00:32:24
Speaker
and relationship. All right, so where does all this go? I know this is sounding like a classroom today. It's been much more of an instructional and informational thing about forgiveness. But here's why this is so important. The very transaction of forgiveness is what our entire relationship with God is based on.
00:32:42
Speaker
Where there is no forgiveness, there can be no remission of sins. There can be no fixing of the problem. Our relationship with God is broken. So this morning, there may be some of you who say, you know what? I have this relationship with God that just doesn't feel real good.
00:32:57
Speaker
Well, it may be one of two problems that's going on. Either you have not ever gotten to that place where you confess and acknowledge that you need God's grace. You simply have pursued a religious journey, and that religious journey makes you feel good about yourself, but it doesn't help you acknowledge that you need God. It helps you feel good about the things that you do rather than understanding there's nothing you can do to earn God's grace.
00:33:22
Speaker
It's always given as a free gift, okay? Then there are others of you here today who may be in a relationship with God, but you're going, you know what? My relationship can't be described as very dynamic. It can't be described as very active. I don't really feel God. Maybe you could be like Job's description in chapter 23. You read a minute ago. In the north, I don't see you. In the south, I don't feel you. I'm looking for your hand in my life, and I just don't sense it.
00:33:46
Speaker
And it might be because they're still unconfessed and unrepented sin in your life that you're carrying around that you think God's just going to look away from and dismiss, but he can't. Why? Because he's holy. He's holy. If God just excused your sin, if God just excused my sin and said, really, no big deal, he would cease to be holy in that very moment. That's the purity of our God. And so as much as he loves us, he can't just dismiss our sin.
00:34:17
Speaker
And so when we come to him and say, okay, I confess my sin, and I recognize my sin, and now I repent of my sin, what he does is he doesn't look at us and go, oh, no big deal, don't worry about it. He said, oh, that's a big deal, but my son's already paid for it. My son has paid for that with his blood. And because of that, you can have the forgiveness you need. The consequences that you should be paying for are removed. Jesus bore it all for you.
00:34:47
Speaker
So this morning, if you are in that situation where you are not sure that you've ever taken that real radical step, this is the difference between Jesus just being a good luck charm and Jesus really being the Savior and Lord of your life.
Transformation Through Forgiveness
00:35:03
Speaker
If you've never really taken that step and acknowledge that I need forgiveness in my sins, that my sins are not just accidents or mistakes, but they're intentional rebellion against God. If you've never taken that step, the day needs to be the day for freedom for you.
00:35:18
Speaker
to get beyond just religious practice and get to a place where you acknowledge what Jesus has done for you. But for others of you who have that relationship, today may be a day where you go, oh, so this is what the problem is. This is what the problem is. You see, your past can be a stepping stone or it can be a millstone. Your past trajectory can project you forward to what God wants you to have in your life, but that has to be
00:35:48
Speaker
Accompany with forgiveness or it can be a millstone that drags you down And that's because you wake up every single day of your life continuing to carry around things that are unforgiven in your past Maybe things that you did or maybe things that were done to you where we've refused to forgive those people either way Forgiveness offers the freedom that you're looking for Will you pray with me this morning? Let's get ready to respond My prayer is this morning that you would be transparent about where you are who you are what you've done and
00:36:17
Speaker
and what you need in your own life. What is it that God needs to do for you this morning to set your heart free? If right now you can't describe your life, your relationship with God is something that frees you, then there's a problem there. And so, Father, as we come to this time of response, it's my prayer that we would do that very thing. That we would both receive and grant forgiveness. That we would respond in the only right way there is.
00:36:49
Speaker
There may be some of us here this morning that have broken family relationships, a spouse, a parent, a sibling, someone that we have just refused to offer forgiveness to or maybe refused to admit that we need forgiveness from. Lord, I pray that we are quick to respond and act on those things. For others, there may be someone here this morning who has yet to know the freedom of Jesus Christ, the freedom of what he did for us on the cross.
00:37:18
Speaker
I just ask, Lord, that you would help us to take that step to humble our hearts enough to acknowledge what we need from God. Thank you for Jesus Christ. Thank you for his sacrifice. Thank you for that gift. In Jesus name I pray. Amen.