Transcript
Speaker: This is a Muck Stain Productions Podcast.
Speaker: Hello Pokefans and trainers and welcome to Unknown Radio, your Mugstain production Pokemon talk show where we take a peek at every single Pokemon. I'm Claudia and I'm here with my co -host and long time partner in Crime Catherine. Hello I'm Catherine, I've got the pizzazz whilst Claudia has the facts.
Speaker: And guess what? It's our favorite. Hold on tight, Spider Monkey. This is Charmander. Yay! And I also told you I was going to sneak in a Twilight quote and make it contextual. You're welcome. Was that a Twilight quote? That was a Twilight quote. Yeah, completely went over my head, mate. All right. Charmander. Do you have any idea what his tagline is?
Speaker: I think it's going to be something like the dinosaur Pokemon. Pretty damn close. It's going to be something boring. The lizard Pokemon. The greatest starter we've ever made. That's better. Charmander, the greatest starter in all of Pokemon history. Yeah, I'll die on that hill. And also he is a lizard.
Speaker: Kind of. I would argue that he's a little bit more like a dragon, but that's fine. I'd go more dinosaur. His face, he does it like a little tiny little T -Rex man. See, his arms are not long enough to give you a hug. So on that note, what does Pokémon look like? What's he look like?
Speaker: It's a little orange. It's like a frog on its hind legs. Why are they all frogs? I don't know. But he's orange and he's got a little tummy that you want to tickle and then a little flame. Flame on his tail. It can't go out because otherwise he dies.
Speaker: Yes, I love that little fat, but we'll get into that when we start talking about his biology. But yep, he's a little bipedal reptile Pokémon. He's orange with a little cream, little chunky belly that you just want to tickle. He has little sharp T -furs and then that flame that burns on his tail. And then the shiny version of him is, and you'll be happy to hear this, yellow. Oh, could he be better?
Speaker: I don't physically think they could make it better. Absolutely not. That is just the peak. A little yellow salamander looking dude. Salamander. That's the word I was looking for. Yes. The name Charmander is a combination of charcoal and salamander. Oh, that's cute. Yeah. And he stands at two foot tall. So like knee height. I mean, depending on how long your legs are. Yeah, I suppose so.
Speaker: Or like half of a child. Half a child. Or we could just say a toddler. Toddler sized. Yeah. That would make more sense. And he weighs 18 .7 pounds. So yeah, he's just a little toddler. A little orange, fiery toddler boy with scaly skin. Oh.
Speaker: I love him. He's so cute. So he was designed as a lizard, which was, from what I researched, perhaps a reference to the mythical Fire Salamander who could survive in flames. Interesting.
Speaker: So there's this whole myth about when they would set fire to buildings or stuff like that, salamanders would run out. So people thought, because they obviously didn't think that they were running away from the fire, they thought that the little fire salamanders were born into the fire and then ran out. That's quite a cute little myth. I mean, it would make more sense that the salamanders were running to stay alive, but I like the idea of a fire salamander.
Speaker: Yeah, so that birthday little Charmander boy. And then his little bipedal design was drawn to resemble a baby theropod dinosaur. So you are very correct when you said he was a little dinosaur man. He's a little dinosaur man.
Speaker: and we'll go into the flame on his tail that you mentioned. It is an overall health and mood indicator and then they say that when the flame dies out the Charmander will also die but if it is healthy the flame will continue to burn even if it gets wet and it has been known to start steaming in the rain.
Speaker: Aww, see that's cute. I didn't realise it was an indicator of the health. They're like a dog's wet nose. Oh, I didn't even think about that. Yeah. I like how nice we're being about Charmander when we absolutely annihilated Bulbasaur. Well, if Bulbasaur was this cute. He can't do anything wrong. Just look at him. He can't. You're right. Imagine it just steaming. I know.
Speaker: And then there's that scene in the anime when Ash finds his first little Charmander that got kicked away by his trainer for being too weak and he was just sat in the rain just dying, waiting for his trainer to come back.
Speaker: one of those videos of a dog. I don't know why I'm referred to Charmander as a dog, but... This is man's best friend. He is. He's Pokemon trainer's best friend, Charmander. Makes me super sad now to think about actually fighting with this guy. So for example, if you're a Pokemon trainer and you're fighting like Misty, and then your Charmander is a little bit beat up because it's a gym battle.
Speaker: And then what if, you know, he's weak, he's been battered, his little flametail is not looking so healthy. One quick surf will wipe this guy out. Oh, that's sad. But also, you know that if you you're, I'm sorry, you're aware, if you got a fire Pokemon, they're only weaknesses water. I mean, there's other weaknesses, but you know, that's the best anyone we care about. Yeah.
Speaker: That's just common sense. So do they deserve to have their Charmander killed if they decide to use this against Misty? I mean, they don't deserve to have their Charmander killed, but I'm just simply saying, it's common sense if you're gonna put a candle up against a fish, the fish is gonna win.
Speaker: That's a weird analogy. But I'm not wrong. Not wrong at all. So this little guy lives between one to seven years, which is considerably more than the Bulbasaur, I'm just saying. Once again, point Charmander. Charmander one, Bulbasaur zero. Plus, speaking of types, Charmander could completely annihilate poor Bulbasaur. Yeah, like in one move.
Speaker: So I have a little cute fact about where we're talking about the tail. It is said that baby Charmander often burn themselves with their tails because they are unaccustomed to fire. Oh, get out. Isn't that cute? That's the cutest thing I've ever heard. Also interesting that they're not flame proof. Seeing as they burn themselves, this thing cannot survive in a flame. That is, that is true.
Speaker: So does it live its entire life trying not to burn itself? Potentially. Potentially. It's adorable though. So as well as the tail being an indicator of health, the emotions can be read by the flame on its tail. It flares up when it's angry and it will flicker and grow dim when it's sad or hurt. See, that's really sad.
Speaker: that you can tell it's feelings. Yeah. Like it's nice you could tell it's feelings but it's sad that it's flame goes out you know. It's like it's lights gone out. It's like a mood ring. Yeah. But real one actually works. Like a real life mood ring that actually does mood and not just heat. Yeah.
Speaker: And the reason why this little guy is chosen as one of the three starters in the Kanto region is that it says it is easily the most mild -mannered of its evolution line. Yeah, I see that. Yeah, compared to the other two. Yeah. Evil, but this one. Absolute cupcake. Yeah, I feel like it did help you out. Yeah.
Speaker: And that goes in with they're very loyal. So though Charmander doesn't do very well with impatient people and doesn't appreciate being rushed in the things that it does, it doesn't enjoy accepting favors because it feels as though it owes something in return, but is extremely loyal to its loved ones. Oh, that's interesting. So
Speaker: It seems like it kind of has some trust issues though with that it doesn't accept favours because it feels like it has to owe something in return. That's kind of sad. Is it? You don't think so? No. Honestly, do you do favours and not expect anything in return? Okay, I'm with Charmander because it depends on the person. Yeah. Depends on the person. But like, you know, just willy -nilly.
Speaker: give favours out and not expect anything in return. It would be pretty exhausting to do that all the time. I guess if you didn't have like any of your own responsibilities it would be fine. But yeah, no, I'm kind of with you on that one. I would help. Again, yeah, I'd help the people I'm loyal to or I like. Yeah, but then you like them because you know that they'd do it back to you.
Speaker: That's true. Like, I'm not gonna lie, when people come up to like my car and stuff, and I don't know if you have this in England, I was not driving when I was in England. No, because you couldn't pass the English test because it's too hot. You can only drive an automatic. In Florida, where driving is so great. Our driving license is optional. You can get it at 16 in America, like
Speaker: Yeah, as long as you don't get pulled over, you don't need a driving license. We do not condone that behavior on this podcast, okay? Yeah, we get lots of people like coming up to the car asking for like money or like, I've never had anyone personally asked me to drive me somewhere. But to be fair, I don't open my window for them to ask. I think you can already imagine what a British person's response would be if someone came up to their window.
Speaker: uh a middle finger yeah just fuck off mate really even if you knew him as long as it's not someone you feel loyal to like Charmander would
Speaker: No, no, even if it was you. What are you doing there? Fuck off. Fuck off back to America. Yeah, you left me. Jug on. So as with the other starters, Charmander is usually bred because they're rarely found in the wild, but sometimes they gather in extremely hot areas such as active volcanoes and craggy mountains.
Speaker: awesome but as we've established they ain't fireproof well they must have a certain level of fireproofness maybe it's like a duck so you know when a baby duck is born it's not waterproof okay so you're saying that kind of the older Charmander gets and ergo closer to its evolution the more fireproof it gets because if you've just come out of an egg you know it's got to be like a newborn
Speaker: That was sticky. Yeah. A lot of egg goo. Just an eggy gooey Charmander? That's disgusting. So, like we were talking about how Bulbasaur feeds the bulb on its back in order to evolve, if Charmander is a lizard, does that mean, potentially, stick with me here, as it gets older and ergo closer to evolving,
Speaker: It gains its fireproofness because it sheds its skin like a lizard. Oh, maybe. That's adorable. I don't know. Because most lizards and reptiles and stuff, in order to grow, their scales and their skin doesn't grow with them, but they grow like new ones underneath and then shed out the old. Do they? Yeah. Oh, see, I didn't know that. I don't really know much about reptiles, though.
Speaker: Right, so that's what they do and then like, you know, snake skin, when you can find just like the shedded skin of a snake. Yeah. So all most reptiles do that. So that would make a lot of sense that as Charmander grows, it gets bigger, gets closer to evolution to that the new scales that it's producing the new skin. It's going to be harder. Yeah, harder and slightly more fireproof each time it sheds. Yeah, no, that makes sense.
Speaker: That's dope. I didn't even think about that until like now. Oh, that's what this is all about, isn't it? We're learning things. Getting epiphanies about Pokémon. Yeah. Poke epiphanies. I like that though. That's interesting. And I can definitely see, because we'll talk about Charmeleon more when we get there, but Charmeleon is a completely different color.
Speaker: Yeah, it's darker, isn't it? So I can definitely see how, you know, I know Pokemon evolution is they kind of glow a very cool like white colour, and then all of a sudden, it's a completely different Pokemon. But if this was real, it would definitely like, I don't know, kind of metamorphosise and... I just feel like it would just slowly grow a bit like a frog. Yeah. Tab pole vibes.
Speaker: So like maybe to get from, you know, A to B in this sense, you can see with Bulbasaur, you know, it grows some extra leaves and then its bulb opens into a bud. Maybe with this one, it just keeps shedding until it gets to the Charmeleon point where it just sheds a lot. And kind of like, have you seen a crab shed? I don't even know crab shed. Like I know hermit crabs lose their shell, but...
Speaker: Right, so crabs, they produce a whole new one underneath and they kind of have to crawl out of their own exoskeleton. That's creepy as fuck. So looking between these two, I can definitely see like that final shed, like when it reaches the end of that like seven year lifespan, if it doesn't, you know, get pushed to it in battling, then obviously, you know, it probably grows faster. But I can definitely see how it kind of etches out of its Charmander skin.
Speaker: It's disgusting. Yeah, it's not an image I needed. Also, we didn't mention that Charmander was a fire type. Well, no, we got too involved in talking about how cute he was. Yeah, he's a fire. Well, it's kind of obvious he has fire on his tail. This is a Pokemon I wouldn't look at and not know what type it is.
Speaker: No. Same with Bulbasaur as well. And Squirt. Yeah, I mean Squirtle's blue. Yeah, and it looks like a fucking turtle. And Rhyme's a turtle. Squirtle turtle. So it's probably a water type. There's no mistaking it. I feel like going forward some of the other Pokemon. Yeah, and I mean the newer ones, like the newest ones, you're like, what even is that?
Speaker: Like, I'm pretty sure there's a Pokémon that is just, it's like a sandcastle. Oh, Sandigast? Yeah, like how, what? Anyway, different story for a different time. We will shit talk back Pokémon when we get there in a few years. In about 12 years. And keep releasing new ones.
Speaker: It's a never ending podcast. This is just the podcast that will never ever end. It'll be 80 years old talking about fucking Typhlosion. It's gonna be great. Another cute little charm and effect. I couldn't really find too much considering it's
Speaker: arguably the most popular canto starter it has an inconsistent number of toes in the movies and the TV shows like multiple like What you mean? So on its little feet see is in its fingers Yeah, sometimes it has like three fingers in a thumb. Sometimes it has four fingers in a thumb Sometimes it has four toes. Sometimes it has three toes They didn't really nail that down until pretty recently
Speaker: That's kind of cute, though. I could get on board with that. Yeah, maybe different Charmander just have different numbers of Phalanges. So grow up with the Phalange! Maybe you've got to catch them all, like you've got to find all the different variations of Phalange Charmanders. I'd be up for that. I'd look for every single one in the world. Just find a little golden six -toed one. That'll be...
Speaker: That would be the creme de la creme. So we'll go ahead and move into our little question section about our boy Charmander. So if you were just hiking by an active volcano, like you do casually on a Saturday night, and you came across a little Charmander just sitting on a rock, what would you do?
Speaker: I don't care how long it takes. I will sit down and befriend that motherfucker so he comes home with me. I could be there for a week. I do not care. I'm going to become his friend and I'm taking him home. You know what? And that's really smart because, you know, they don't trust anybody unless, you know, they become a loved one. So you got to get him to kind of trust you. Yeah. It's not like the other one. Just pick it up. This one. I'm sitting there.
Speaker: I gotta earn its love. It's like a cat. That's why I like cats and not dogs. You gotta give it treats. You gotta give it scritches and then maybe it'll follow you home like a stray cat. Yeah, dogs trust you easily. They'll go to anyone but Charmander on the other hand. They pick their person. Yeah. Exactly. Aldante. Charmander is Aldante.
Speaker: Yeah, I would definitely want one, and I agree with you about the cat thing. But would you put a week into it? I probably would. Well, I probably wouldn't. If I had other Pokémon, I would just go ahead and catch it because of how rare they are, and I want it now.
Speaker: which whenever I play any of the games, that's how I play. I want Charmander now and I don't care. I'm going to take it and it's going to be part of my team and I will level you up, even if you're level five and we're battling, you know, I don't know, level 52. I'm with you, but in my mind, this is just like an average Joe. I've got no Pokemon with me. I just find one in the street. Like I find one in a volcano.
Speaker: And you can't just go and pick it up either because it's gonna just burn you. Exactly. So other than battling, what functions or jobs or uses do you think a Charmander could have? I don't want to say shove him down the mines, but shove him down the mines. He's lighting up that mine for everyone, right?
Speaker: Who needs a canary when you've got a charm under? Just shove the charm under down. You know, smart, because didn't they choose canaries because if there was any kind of gas, the canary would stop singing. Yeah. So it has fire on its tail. So if there was a gas, then that tail would just be going absolutely nuts. And it also provides light.
Speaker: Yeah, so it's like a double use. Two in one function. Also, he'd be great in the winter. Keep everyone warm. Also good for the mines because it gets cold down there too. Yeah. So you can have it like in your little snow cabin. You could cook your food on him. I'm taking him to forest school. So I could just instantly light a fire. A brilliant survival situation. What a godsend. Yeah. I mean, he's just an all round guy, you know? Cuddle up with him at night.
Speaker: Yeah. You could use him as a barbecue. Oh, like put his little tail under a grill. Yeah. I get perfect for picnics. Perfect for survival situation. He's just the part he has much more uses than Bulbasaur. And there's cost of living crisis, mate.
Speaker: You know what I mean? It'd be a godsend. Never have to turn on your roughing head. And then you wouldn't even have to turn on your light. You know, if you get up in the middle of the night because you need to go to the bathroom or get a drink, just have a little Charmander follow you. Yeah. No need to turn on any lights. Warm up your feet. Have him sleep by your feet. Hopefully he doesn't set your whole house on fire. Oh, it's a different matter, isn't it? Yeah. You couldn't, you couldn't get him too excited because then you'd get too happy and his little tail would start flaring.
Speaker: Yeah, exactly. And make sure you can only watch programmes that weren't too stimulating. Like the Baby Channel? No, like Bluey. Bluey, I think would be alright. Charmander would love Bluey. Yeah, I reckon so. Because that's all about, you know, loyalty and treating people with kindness. And I think that's what our boy Charmander is all about. Yeah, I agree. 100%. So what do you think Charmander eats? Because he's a lizard. I'm gonna go with bugs.
Speaker: I agree, like, but, uh, Weedles, Catapies. What about, um, Rattatas? I mean, probably, cause they're so annoying. They're everywhere. Do you want me to - there's so many of them. I'm pretty sure they're the same size, but this, this will, you could cut it up or unhinge his jaw or something.
Speaker: Or I just set it on fire and cook it. Cause he breathes fire tea, remember. So do you reckon he would eat his food raw or do you think he would cook it first? I don't know. I reckon he'd just eat it raw. Cause he's a dinosaur at the end of the day. You could just chew at it. Yeah. And then, um, because he is a lizard, he won't have to eat very often either. And I wonder if they're like omnivorous, like a bearded dragon.
Speaker: I like to think so. I like to think he just eats a bit of grass every now and again. But some like berries, like a banana. Yeah. Well, all of the Pokemon eat berries, don't they? Because you give them to make them happy or something. You could chow down on that. Oh, 100%. They live in the wild, you know, they'll eat anything. Yeah, I reckon he would just eat anything that he came across. Oh, for sure. Because he's not a hunter. I don't really see him in Think Hunter. No.
Speaker: So just whatever, if he comes across a wheedle, great, good snack. But if that's not there, you know, he'll find something, dig something up. Yeah. Whips him enough out of the kitchen, you know how it is. Cook it, cook it real nice, and he's good to go. Cook it real good. Barbecue that right over the tail like a shish kebab. Like a shish kebab. Just a Caterpie spit -roasting. Over his own tail, just hanging out. Yeah, chilling.
Speaker: A whole group of them, talking jakes. So could we eat this? Can you eat lizards? I mean, they do it on Naked and Afraid. What the hell is that? When they put people just completely naked in the middle of nowhere and they have to survive for 21 days. Yeah, it's great. I'll have to link you to that lady. I'd love it. Yeah, right. Cheers. I don't know. You could. There's a lot more Pokemon that I would rather eat.
Speaker: than a Charmander. I am googling can you eat lizard? Just on a side note. I eat its protein. Most species are not poisonous and they tend to have lean nutrient rich meat. So you could. If you're naked and afraid and there was a Charmander there and you were starving because you hadn't eaten in a week, you could probably eat a Charmander. Well USA today are saying Iguana meat is the chicken of the trees.
Speaker: Does that mean that Charmander is the chicken of the volcano? I don't even want to know, if I'm honest. I think it tastes like barbecue, like that char that you get on a barbecue. I don't think I'd want to eat Charmander. It would break my heart to eat a Charmander. Yeah, it's not like with Bulbasaur, we said, you know, you eat frog's legs. Weirdly, I can get on board with that. But an actual lizard,
Speaker: I just can't do it. There's so many better things to eat. And this is a thing that can cook your food for you. So you would you would prefer to keep the thing that would stop you from getting salmonella, right? Yeah, exactly. Like he's much more useful to keep around than to eat.
Speaker: Right, so we don't eat Charmander, we eat with Charmander. Yes. Okay, I like that. So you walk into a bar on a cracky mountain and there's a little group of Charmander just there doing little shish kebabs on their tails. You startled them and they get a little bit feisty. Who would win? You or the Charmander?
Speaker: I reckon I could take two. Two Charmander? Yeah. Because of their size. The only thing I'm a bit wary of is the fire tail. And then they breathe fire too. That's true, that is true. I feel like what you'd have to do is you'd have to jump straight on their heads and hope for the best. Like you'd have to just try and beat them with speed and power.
Speaker: as opposed to any other. So you could do that, or alternatively, if you knew that the Charmander were going to be in there, you could go into the bar dressed in like a full firefighter suit and with a bucket of water. Yeah, I mean, try and spray it out, obviously.
Speaker: Like, you'd grab the drink hose from behind the bar, just squirt water at it. Just lick your fingers and put out the tail like a candle. Yeah, it's very tiny. I jump on their eggs. I think I could do it. I think you could too. Maybe if it was more than like two, it might be difficult because I feel like they could be pack animals like velociraptors.
Speaker: yeah i reckon they travel as a pack right but if if if they don't get like all around you if you kind of keep them both in your vision i reckon you could take them thank you do you know what that's probably the nicest thing you've ever said to me oh you're welcome i i just i say it as i see it you know i think that you could kill two Charmander's and you know what thank you that's all i got i don't think i could because i'm not very speedy
Speaker: I don't know. I don't like fire so much. Yeah, and you didn't fight as a child, you know? No, it's not really my strong suit. I didn't really have siblings to fight with. See, my imagine is I just imagine it's my brother. I'm gonna try and take it down no matter what, you know? Just your brother is a two foot tall 18 .7 pound lizard. I could take it. Easy. I could take him now.
Speaker: You could take him now if you just walked into your house. Yeah. I mean, just one would be fine. Put him right in the bathtub. Like him as a Charmander or him as a human. I mean, you could put him in the bathtub either way. Yeah, first. I mean, yeah, he probably needs a bath. So that's it for our little boy Charmander. Do you like him more than we started? I don't think it was possible to like him more. He is both of our choice.
Speaker: for starting out our Pokemon journeys. He's a 10 -10. 10 out of 10. Winner of all of the beauty pageants, you know, our American Idol, Charmander. Britain's Got Talent. Britain's Got Talent. What's another one? The Voice. But the Voice kids because he's just a baby. The Masked Singer. Never watched it.
Speaker: Me neither. And on that note, we're gonna say goodbye to Charmander. Next week, we will be evolving our little lizard man into awkward teenage lizard man. That's that. All right, well, see you later, alligator. Wait, I'm gonna second that and say see you later for alligator in a wild toad of dial.
Speaker: Oh! She shoots! She scores! All right, catch you later, trainers.
