Transcript
Speaker: Guys, today I have the privilege and the honor to have the one and only eBigs, Eric Bigger on the Inner Wilds.
Speaker: Eric does a lot of things in this life.
Speaker: He's a fitness trainer.
Speaker: He's got an awesome podcast.
Speaker: And while a lot of America knows him as a contestant on Rachel's season of The Bachelorette, I want you to get to know him as the gift that he is.
Speaker: I've known Eric for a couple years now, and he has always been a source of inspiration for me.
Speaker: He's always encouraged me to challenge the ideas that I rest in.
Speaker: He's always called me out on my limiting beliefs.
Speaker: And he's always pushed me to embrace who I am in my power.
Speaker: And he does it by living it himself.
Speaker: It's all about conversation and curiosity with him.
Speaker: which is why I'm so excited to have him on this podcast.
Speaker: He lives in this place of intention and discipline, and I admire it.
Speaker: And I found myself wondering, like, what makes a man who lives and breathes with his eyes set on expansion and understanding?
Speaker: Like, what keeps a man curious about this life?
Speaker: And now we get to find out.
Speaker: I am so excited to invite you guys into this conversation.
Speaker: And with all that said, let's chat with Eric.
Speaker: Oh my gosh, it's recording.
Speaker: How great is it that you're my first podcast episode?
Speaker: I forgot you said you wanted to do that.
Speaker: I totally forgot that.
Speaker: Okay, so when I started writing down the questions that I wanted to ask you, I was like, what has to do with courage, curiosity, and the world within?
Speaker: My biggest one, I feel like, is I want to know why and what 1111 means to you.
Speaker: Because we text that back and forth all the time.
Speaker: What does it mean to you?
Speaker: I mean, I just think, I like to call it divine intelligence.
Speaker: Spirit, angels, God, light, energy, and life force.
Speaker: I just feel like everything is in alignment.
Speaker: One, one, one, one, one.
Speaker: All together.
Speaker: We are one as one together.
Speaker: I just feel like it's the universe, God, angels talking to you like, I got you, you're good.
Speaker: I see you, I feel you, I know what's going on, you're good.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: I feel like
Speaker: For me, it's like a ping from the universe that like I'm on track, that I'm held and supported and like I'm not doing it by myself.
Speaker: I like that you said it was about unity, though, because I never really thought about like it could be a call to like connection.
Speaker: For me, it's a reminder to get back in my body, right?
Speaker: Like you're present, you're here, but also to connect with what's happening around me and the people around me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yep.
Speaker: All together.
Speaker: Us as one.
Speaker: I love it.
Speaker: So you're all about motivation.
Speaker: You're all about movement.
Speaker: You're all about, I mean, in my eyes, the way that I view, you're all about like forward progress.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And like higher self, ascension, moving.
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: I want to know where that all comes from.
Speaker: Because like for me, it hasn't always been easy staying in like that high vibe because life happens.
Speaker: And I want to know like where did you come from?
Speaker: What has created you into this like human who is all about like forward movement?
Speaker: Well, thank you for saying that.
Speaker: I just think, you know, growing up in Baltimore with a lot of different energies around me, circumstances, people,
Speaker: and different opportunities that was available wasn't fitting to my soul my spirit for how i was feeling as a kid but i always knew there was something greater you know there's a quote that says everything's greater later um but i also know progress equals happiness but i think when i was young i just was
Speaker: driven for more.
Speaker: I was compelled to do better and do more.
Speaker: And I didn't want to be in the same situations that I've seen my dad and my uncles in.
Speaker: Not that it was for them.
Speaker: It was good for all the right reasons, but for the wrong behavior they were providing.
Speaker: But, you know, they paved the way in a lot of different ways of what not to do.
Speaker: I just think, you know, I always just I'm always been focused on growth and just been being better.
Speaker: And I think as I got older, I started realizing, like, how do I get better?
Speaker: How do I improve?
Speaker: How do I enhance my being?
Speaker: How do I be my best self?
Speaker: And positivity was always something that was within me.
Speaker: And I think that energy was carrying me to get where I'm at today.
Speaker: So thank you, positivity.
Speaker: But, yeah, I just always wanted more.
Speaker: I think I always saw the big picture.
Speaker: I knew there was more than just Baltimore and, you know,
Speaker: guys selling drugs and playing basketball, football.
Speaker: I just didn't know what it looked like.
Speaker: Or I just knew it wasn't in Baltimore.
Speaker: So I just wanted more and I just wanted better.
Speaker: And I think with that curiosity, it led me to become better, if that makes sense.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: What does that mean when you say more and better?
Speaker: Like I use the same words and I think we all like, according to our experience in life, have different definitions of what those mean.
Speaker: Well, more meaning like more experiences that can shape my life to be better, you know, to better surroundings, better environment, better livelihood, better people, better energy, um, more opportunity that can fulfill me up and make me feel better.
Speaker: Uh,
Speaker: Just more life, really, like a life that's outside of the bubble I grew up in.
Speaker: That's different.
Speaker: That makes me want to do more and become better and help help others in the process.
Speaker: Does success fall into that like more category?
Speaker: I don't think so.
Speaker: I think success is a representation of success.
Speaker: what it is for the person, the individual.
Speaker: Everybody's perception or ideal of success is different.
Speaker: My ideal of success is being fulfilled, happy, and enjoying your being for who you are.
Speaker: Because a lot of people have material success, money, fame, cars, clothes, whatever.
Speaker: But they don't feel like that.
Speaker: I'm trying to find a quote that Tony Robbins uses.
Speaker: He said,
Speaker: Oh, he says success without fulfillment is failure.
Speaker: Like if you have all this world that's without fulfillment, it's failure.
Speaker: So I like to say being fulfilled, feeling good, being happy about who you are, the good and the bad, bad of you, because we're imperfect.
Speaker: So for me, it's all about a tangible feeling more so than a tangible reality.
Speaker: Does that make sense?
Speaker: Yeah, totally.
Speaker: Say the quote one more time.
Speaker: He said, success without fulfillment is failure.
Speaker: So you have all this success, but you're not fulfilled.
Speaker: You're failing.
Speaker: Do you feel like it's a definition switch that needs to happen?
Speaker: Like what we define as successful?
Speaker: I don't think the definition has to switch.
Speaker: I think the perception of success has to switch.
Speaker: The way we perceive it, because the way we perceive it in these times, even though these times are different and new, before was it was all about tangible stuff.
Speaker: Tangible, tangible, tangible.
Speaker: And when you get to tangible things and you become the tangible stuff that people idolize or see and you're in it, it doesn't feel the way it looks.
Speaker: It's kind of like dating a very attractive person.
Speaker: And people tell you all the time, you guys look so good together, you look amazing.
Speaker: And it's like, don't feel the way it looks.
Speaker: So I think it's like a mind fuck, you know, excuse my language.
Speaker: It's, you know, like, wow, but no, it's not what you think it is.
Speaker: Yeah, we were talking about that yesterday, the success piece, right?
Speaker: Like all of these people have money and you're always asking that question, like, what does it all mean, this money, this power,
Speaker: Control.
Speaker: Yeah, what does it mean and what is it for and why do you want all of it?
Speaker: For what?
Speaker: How is that improving your being?
Speaker: How is that improving your livelihood?
Speaker: How is that even improving the world we live in?
Speaker: If we all want power, we all want control, we all want more and more and more money and not more self.
Speaker: I feel like the people who want more of the tangible stuff, they don't know or have enough of themselves.
Speaker: Because you will lose yourself trying to get all the tangible things, not even having a piece of yourself.
Speaker: So I think the focus should be get more of yourself.
Speaker: And when the money and the tangible stuff come, you can enjoy it more.
Speaker: You can endure it more.
Speaker: You can be one with it and not of it.
Speaker: Does that make sense?
Speaker: It won't be using you.
Speaker: You'll be utilizing it for your benefit.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What do you think the
Speaker: key to that is like unlocking that concept for yourself I really believe it's really getting to the root of who you are and the way a person will probably get to that you have to ask some empowering questions and some real questions simple as who am I and connect with the spirit within you and let an answer come up
Speaker: Or have a conversation with your mom, your dad, your aunt, your uncle, your siblings.
Speaker: And try to understand the history of your family, the history of your DNA, the history of your ancestors, your bloodline.
Speaker: Where do you come from?
Speaker: Why do you guys think this way?
Speaker: Why do you look this way?
Speaker: Why do you feel this way?
Speaker: What's going on?
Speaker: Because people don't know.
Speaker: They always say, oh, it's hereditary.
Speaker: It's in the DNA.
Speaker: You can literally change things.
Speaker: Anything within your hereditary system or DNA that you so-called believe is true for your family by changing your belief.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: There's a book by Dr. Bruce Lipton.
Speaker: I think it's called The Biology of Belief.
Speaker: Like changing the way you believe in something changes your perception and feeling of it, which takes it out of reality.
Speaker: So if I believe, oh, everybody in my family is an athlete, then I have to be an athlete.
Speaker: It's like, that's not necessarily true always for all people.
Speaker: So just really getting to the root of who you are, asking empowering questions and being curious about your DNA, your bloodline and your family.
Speaker: And then maybe go to numerology, astrology, like really get in.
Speaker: I mean, you just got to really break it down.
Speaker: And you got to get inside the book of you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: What is your book?
Speaker: What is your book?
Speaker: You have a book that you were given when you got here based on your energy and your DNA.
Speaker: Figure out that book and read it, study it, learn it, and understand it.
Speaker: From Borsco to numerology to family to environment you were raised in to your belief systems.
Speaker: Break it down.
Speaker: And once you get to the meat of that bone, things that make sense and you will be more than okay to accept the things you cannot change.
Speaker: I actually, I literally wrote down what's your narrative, what's your story, because I've been reading and researching narrative therapy.
Speaker: Have you heard of that?
Speaker: Never heard of it.
Speaker: It's the same concept.
Speaker: Oh, like a story you've been telling yourself?
Speaker: Yeah, well, your life story, the stories that you tell yourself on a daily basis, like what happens when you encounter obstacles, like all of that stuff.
Speaker: And the whole basis of it is understanding your narrative, because when you understand your narrative, you can rewrite it, you can like rework it, you can like confront it, and you can't do any of that if you don't understand yourself, right?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like super powerful.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: Absolutely.
Speaker: I mean, I don't want to be too biblical on you, but in the Bible, Proverbs 4, 7, one of my favorite scriptures, it said, in all you're getting, get understanding.
Speaker: I feel like even like, you know, with some religious folks, I feel like they believe in a religion they do not understand.
Speaker: So when hard times do come,
Speaker: They believe in it, but a part of them might be questioning it because of their understanding of it doesn't make sense for their reality.
Speaker: You know, and so I think in all things in life, your life, your profession, your spouse, your friends, your understanding.
Speaker: And granted, you won't understand everything.
Speaker: But I think if you're curious about understanding these things, you become more aware of your being in your life that you live.
Speaker: Totally.
Speaker: You know.
Speaker: So most people, okay, maybe most people isn't a fair way to put it, but a lot of people are sleeping to this, like the reality of themselves and the reality of the people around them.
Speaker: And I feel like a lot of the time it takes crisis or it takes trauma to come face to face with ourselves.
Speaker: And we have a lot of that going on in the world right now, right?
Speaker: Like we're collectively grieving and doing a lot of things and we have a lot of space for that.
Speaker: But what did you experience?
Speaker: Like what was the catalyst for this for you?
Speaker: For catalyst for...
Speaker: growth, like expansion, like this, this insatiable need to understand yourself to be more like, I know you mentioned your dad and your uncles.
Speaker: Oh, I just think, I just think growing up with just suffering, you know, emotionally and internally and not understanding why there's a part in, um, at heart totally booked the new earth.
Speaker: And he talks about, he said, kids or kids who grew up to be,
Speaker: insanely or intensely like spiritual is because of something they experienced at a young age there was a lot of suffering and pain and I think growing up I had a lot of emotional internal suffering and pain I didn't understand it was just like I had all these burdens of emotions from what I don't know maybe because I was empath or maybe because you know I'm a Pisces you know who knows but I just want I just wanted something better and I wanted something different I wanted something more and so
Speaker: whatever I had to do to get out of my own way and figure out what is life about?
Speaker: Why do people sell drugs?
Speaker: Why being in the NBA or being a ball player?
Speaker: Fascinating to me.
Speaker: Why is my mom and dad?
Speaker: Why are they not together?
Speaker: What is love?
Speaker: What is life?
Speaker: What is living?
Speaker: Oh, I got to make money?
Speaker: I remember when I was young, 16, probably had like $376 saved up.
Speaker: I was working at, um,
Speaker: foot action.
Speaker: I was a stock boy for a sneaker store.
Speaker: They sold sneakers.
Speaker: Foot Locker owns foot action.
Speaker: One day, my grandmother had to pay the phone bill.
Speaker: That's all the little bit of money I had saved.
Speaker: $376,000.
Speaker: I'm 16 at the time.
Speaker: That's a decent amount for me.
Speaker: I remember damn near giving her all the money.
Speaker: Then I felt like, damn, like
Speaker: Like part of me was like, yeah, I get to pay the phone bill and, you know, take help grandma out.
Speaker: But like afterwards, I was like, okay, well, I just saved that.
Speaker: That's gone now.
Speaker: What does that mean?
Speaker: Like, I don't want the phone on.
Speaker: I want, you know, I still didn't understand it.
Speaker: You know, at the time I was like, damn, all my money that I saved is gone now.
Speaker: So what does that mean for me?
Speaker: Like, I just got to go work harder and save more money.
Speaker: And at the time I didn't know.
Speaker: what struggle really looked like or what it felt like.
Speaker: This was my life.
Speaker: So, you know, I just think, like I said, just wanting something different and better other than what I was experiencing at the time.
Speaker: And I just wanted to grow and just not having the love around as well, like, you know, emotionally.
Speaker: Like, my family is not an emotional family when it comes to, like, love and intimacy.
Speaker: We just kind of, like, do your thing.
Speaker: I see you.
Speaker: We love based on actions.
Speaker: and not emotions.
Speaker: We don't say it.
Speaker: We show it.
Speaker: We don't really, like, you know what I'm saying?
Speaker: Like, we're going to take care of you.
Speaker: That's showing us.
Speaker: We show you we love you by taking care of you.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Not really conversing it or talking about it.
Speaker: So just wanting something better.
Speaker: Do you feel like that, like, aspect of, like,
Speaker: action-oriented love and not verbal love?
Speaker: Like, what are your love languages?
Speaker: Does that speak to you or is that... Mine is acts of service, of course, and quality time.
Speaker: Okay, so it works for you that your family shows you love in that way.
Speaker: Not that you don't need affirmation, right?
Speaker: Well, I just think, you know, acts of service is a bit of more... It's more so that... It's not so much the action it is, the service.
Speaker: And when it... For me, I believe...
Speaker: The way I'm looking at it, I could be taking it out of context.
Speaker: But action of service is I come pick you up.
Speaker: I have Gatorade.
Speaker: I have fruit.
Speaker: And I have your favorite book.
Speaker: But she didn't ask me for that.
Speaker: But that's me showing you and serving you in an act that you didn't know was coming.
Speaker: So that makes me, makes you feel like, damn, he really loves me.
Speaker: Opposed to the other parent.
Speaker: You take me to school.
Speaker: You cook me food.
Speaker: And you tell me to go to bed.
Speaker: Like, that's kind of normalcy, right?
Speaker: But when someone's doing something like, you know, I saw you get good grades this quarter.
Speaker: I wanted to buy you some sneakers.
Speaker: And you're like, wow, really?
Speaker: You're doing that for me?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: And the quality time just goes hand to hand because you didn't really spend time with your parents.
Speaker: I didn't sit at the table and talk about homework and school in my day.
Speaker: It was just went to school, went to practice, came home, did it all over again.
Speaker: We ordered food.
Speaker: We didn't eat at a table at night.
Speaker: That's what it was.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Do you feel like you're that person now, though?
Speaker: Like you're the acts of service person, like you're the affirmation love person.
Speaker: Do you feel like you became that person because you lacked it?
Speaker: Yeah, absolutely.
Speaker: I think I'm very nurturing.
Speaker: I'm very caring.
Speaker: And I know how to take care of someone.
Speaker: That's what I really became.
Speaker: The mom always wanted.
Speaker: for myself in my life.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So, yeah.
Speaker: Did you have mentors or anybody?
Speaker: Like, who did you look up to in your life?
Speaker: I call them mentors.
Speaker: They don't have to be people who are, like, actually present.
Speaker: When I was young?
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I didn't really have mentors, though.
Speaker: That's the thing.
Speaker: Did you model yourself after anybody?
Speaker: I just was, like, I just had my mind made up.
Speaker: I was just doing my own thing.
Speaker: I mean, of course, I love Michael Jordan as a basketball player, but I didn't know who he was off the court.
Speaker: But I never was like, I've got to be like Mike or I've got to be like Anthony Hardaway.
Speaker: I've never had that.
Speaker: But it wasn't until I got older that I was like Tony Robbins.
Speaker: I like that guy.
Speaker: I want to be like him.
Speaker: You know, like when I moved to L.A., like he's inspiring.
Speaker: He is he's massive.
Speaker: He has energy.
Speaker: I like that guy.
Speaker: He cares about people, you know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: So growing up, I just was all basketball, all school and just working with my head down the whole time.
Speaker: Not really asking for much or looking for much.
Speaker: It was tough because I didn't know I need as much until I got older.
Speaker: Like, damn, I really missed out on a lot of love as a kid.
Speaker: Isn't that funny how we like we shut I feel the same way about my childhood.
Speaker: Like I had so much stuff that happened in my childhood, but I didn't really view it as traumatic or like upheaval or anything until I was older.
Speaker: And then I look back and I was like, whoa, that was crazy.
Speaker: Yeah, it is.
Speaker: Wow, because I was talking to a friend two weeks ago.
Speaker: He was like, he was like, eat.
Speaker: I was like, bro, I don't remember my childhood.
Speaker: He's like, you really didn't have a childhood.
Speaker: He said, even if you tried to remember, you couldn't.
Speaker: I was like, wow.
Speaker: He was like, you were dealing with so much.
Speaker: I'm like, really?
Speaker: I was?
Speaker: He was like, if I told you how you really, he's like, remember when you had your car, your first year of college?
Speaker: Yeah, you was driving with a crate in the back seat of your car just to hold it up.
Speaker: I was like, man, I don't remember that.
Speaker: Like, you know, I wasn't even processing that.
Speaker: Like, yeah, he's like, you used to drive all the way to Virginia, all the way back home.
Speaker: Every time you had to come in town.
Speaker: He was like, man, you was a man before you was a boy.
Speaker: I said, look at your uncle.
Speaker: How he had you doing things for him at an early age.
Speaker: So I guess in the moment, just to, you know, piggy off what you were saying, I guess when you're just in it, you don't really look at it like that.
Speaker: It's survival, right?
Speaker: You're surviving.
Speaker: You don't have time to, like, think about things in an existential, like, way.
Speaker: Like, I just got to get through this.
Speaker: I feel that.
Speaker: It's funny that you said you don't remember a lot of your childhood.
Speaker: I have a similar experience in that.
Speaker: I don't remember anything before sixth grade.
Speaker: I don't remember anything.
Speaker: What is that?
Speaker: I don't know.
Speaker: I always say, Mom, Dad, y'all didn't take videos or pictures of me?
Speaker: I want to see how I was as a kid.
Speaker: Oh, you always wanted to keep your sneakers clean and you wanted to go to school.
Speaker: I'm like, yeah, but what does that look like?
Speaker: How was it?
Speaker: My friends are like, man, you played like Kawhi Liverpool.
Speaker: growing up.
Speaker: I'm like, really?
Speaker: I was good?
Speaker: Like, you can score whenever you want and you played the best defense?
Speaker: I was like, I didn't even think I was that good.
Speaker: It's like, it's like mind blown.
Speaker: Like, when one guy's like, I feel like you were better than everybody in basketball.
Speaker: I was like, how?
Speaker: Like, I felt like you just did it because you could, not because you wanted to.
Speaker: I'm like, what?
Speaker: It's just crazy when you get people's perceptions and feedback growing up.
Speaker: I was like, I didn't think that.
Speaker: I didn't have that feedback.
Speaker: I didn't have that perspective.
Speaker: I just was, you know, doing what I could.
Speaker: Do you feel like it still is a part of you today?
Speaker: That sense of like, you're just doing it.
Speaker: You're just living.
Speaker: Oh, no, no, no.
Speaker: I'm very aware.
Speaker: I'm very aware now.
Speaker: I feel like that's how I'm able to go far and progress as much as I can.
Speaker: When I can, it's because I'm aware of my impact on people.
Speaker: I'm aware of
Speaker: my energy.
Speaker: I'm aware of how I come off the people.
Speaker: I'm aware of what's going on out here and what people see in me that they don't think they have in them.
Speaker: And what do people look to me for?
Speaker: And what is my gift?
Speaker: What is my passion?
Speaker: What is my purpose?
Speaker: And I feel better knowing that now because I don't have to wake up with question marks.
Speaker: So what am I going to do?
Speaker: What should I focus on?
Speaker: I know exactly what I got to do.
Speaker: It's not even...
Speaker: It's in me.
Speaker: It's innate.
Speaker: Like, you know, just get better.
Speaker: OK, so tell me that.
Speaker: Tell me what it is, because that was one of my questions.
Speaker: Like what I believe that everyone is here with a purpose and a message that they are to bring in their lifetime.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: And you seem quite aware of yours.
Speaker: So what is it?
Speaker: What do you what do you here for?
Speaker: Just really to transform people, literally transform people.
Speaker: If it's through fitness, motivation, TV, acting, hosting, dancing, making people that like spiritual consultant, life coach, whatever.
Speaker: I'm here to transform folks within and without.
Speaker: Like I'm here to transform you.
Speaker: What is it that you see in humanity?
Speaker: Like what is it that you see in people that you like call for transformation?
Speaker: I see people greatest potential.
Speaker: You know, like I see their greatest potential.
Speaker: I see what they can be.
Speaker: I see what they want.
Speaker: I see what they're looking for.
Speaker: I see what they think they look they're looking for and what they think they want.
Speaker: And sometimes people come into my life and for them to help me as well.
Speaker: But for me to really for really for me to get them to see themselves in a different light because they're running laps around themselves because I was there many times before.
Speaker: So I have the perspective to know that.
Speaker: when they're making mistakes, because I made those mistakes, not really owning what I have of being like, oh, I'm fine, I'm okay, I'm cool.
Speaker: Like that, I'm okay, I'm cool, I'm fine.
Speaker: That doesn't get you anywhere in life.
Speaker: Literally doesn't get you anywhere.
Speaker: No, I'm great, I can do this, I will do this, I want to do this.
Speaker: This is my birthright.
Speaker: This is a must.
Speaker: Without tragedy happening or crisis or trauma, like you know,
Speaker: But what I realized when I get to the root of that for people, people, we're programmed and conditioned to be afraid of our best self.
Speaker: It's because to be your best self, it's a lot of work.
Speaker: It's a lot of responsibility.
Speaker: And you've got to be on it.
Speaker: It's not just, oh, yeah, wake up and I'm going to go shoot a basketball.
Speaker: Oh, I'm a great player.
Speaker: No, you got to.
Speaker: Repetition is the mother of skills.
Speaker: So you got to put in a lot of work.
Speaker: people are not willing to do, that's why people would rather go work for someone and be led and guided because it's easy.
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: What do I need to do?
Speaker: Okay.
Speaker: They don't want to have the direction or the GPS or the map.
Speaker: They want someone to tell them where to go on a map and they get to the destination from someone guiding them.
Speaker: Yeah, I feel like we're taught to fear failure, and that contributes to our lack of self-confidence in our power.
Speaker: I literally just was talking about this today and a few nights ago with my friend.
Speaker: I think we're more comfortable in our...
Speaker: um, discomfort in our victimhood and all of those like things where we don't have our power.
Speaker: Like we're more comfortable giving our power away because if we own our power and internalize our power and we fail, that is like the worst thing that could ever happen.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Right.
Speaker: Honestly, it's the best thing that can ever happen because when you have power, you get more power.
Speaker: I put a quote up a few weeks ago and I said, uh,
Speaker: The best way to be perfect is to be imperfect.
Speaker: When you can master being imperfect, you will become perfect.
Speaker: But there's not a such thing as perfection.
Speaker: So when you can get comfortable being very uncomfortable of failing and being vulnerable to what you don't know, then you grow and you become more because you.
Speaker: Nothing matters.
Speaker: Nothing hurts you.
Speaker: It's like, cool.
Speaker: Okay, that shot is off.
Speaker: It's ugly.
Speaker: Okay, cool.
Speaker: I'm going to just keep shooting until I get it right.
Speaker: But I think people are so afraid, that fear of failure, that fear of not knowing something they think they should know.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: especially with relationships, you know, especially with guys, you know, opening up to women.
Speaker: I believe in intimacy, sex, you know, like guys, I can speak, I'm a guy that your insecurities about certain things when it comes to that, that you don't want to acknowledge because you feel like you're less than a man, you know, work or
Speaker: I was playing somebody on the phone this morning.
Speaker: I was playing pool, and then we played beer pong.
Speaker: It's a female.
Speaker: She beat me every time.
Speaker: So she texts back.
Speaker: She's like, you let me win.
Speaker: I was like, no, I didn't let you win.
Speaker: You really beat me.
Speaker: I'm not ashamed to say you won.
Speaker: There's no ego in that.
Speaker: Why would I lie about, no, I don't know how to play this game.
Speaker: You sent this to me.
Speaker: I want to learn.
Speaker: You whooped my tail.
Speaker: And I think when you can get to that point in your life where you can own your mishapenies or your faults or your decisions you made or your failures, you become better.
Speaker: You become stronger.
Speaker: And nothing can really take you out because it's like, yeah, I did that.
Speaker: You're right.
Speaker: I don't know how to, you know, and it's okay.
Speaker: Like, it's okay.
Speaker: And I just, it's beautiful when you can get to that imperfection of your perfection that you think you're looking for trying to get.
Speaker: But it's in the progress or the pursuit of perfection that when you master your imperfections, you can feel perfected, if that makes sense.
Speaker: I know that's a lot, but
Speaker: It's like you're not worrying about missing a shot.
Speaker: You're not worrying about making a shot.
Speaker: You're just really worried about shooting the ball shot the best way you can, however that comes out.
Speaker: And then you deal with whatever happened.
Speaker: Because it's not like you didn't put in the time or the effort.
Speaker: You didn't.
Speaker: But the key was to fail at it.
Speaker: And to be criticized and to get feedback that you probably don't want to hear, but
Speaker: It makes you better.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: I feel like the perfection is in the imperfection, right?
Speaker: Like, we're divinity having a human experience.
Speaker: Like, we are perfectly a mess.
Speaker: Like, we are perfectly human.
Speaker: Like, all of that is part of the experience of being human, and that's what makes it perfect.
Speaker: If we're going to use the term perfect, right?
Speaker: It's such a silly term, but if we want to use it, it's in the imperfections.
Speaker: I totally resonate with that.
Speaker: And that's the thing, because as an early age growing up, I always wanted to be perfect, and I didn't want people to see me imperfect because I didn't think they were like me.
Speaker: But once I realized by me being authentic about who I am and what I believe, people like you even more.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: It's like, damn.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Wow, really?
Speaker: Yeah, you just were so honest about how you felt and what you went through.
Speaker: I respect that.
Speaker: Oh, really?
Speaker: I've been hiding this for so long because I thought people would not like me.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, wow.
Speaker: It's like fear.
Speaker: Once you realize the fear of something is not real and you have the experience, like, oh, I just did it.
Speaker: I just looked in the deep end.
Speaker: It's not that bad.
Speaker: And I don't have to create these false narratives or realities in my brain.
Speaker: Yeah, which like... People to experience.
Speaker: It gets rid of all the anxiety.
Speaker: It gets rid of all the like imposter syndrome.
Speaker: Like all of that is tied to this need to be perfect.
Speaker: Especially, I imagine, as like with a platform or like in the public eye, like that's a lot of pressure to be perfect.
Speaker: Yeah, you know.
Speaker: And the pressure is really not real.
Speaker: The pressure is something you make up because of what you think you got to bring.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You know, there's a book by, I think his name is Tim Grover, Michael Jordan, Kobe Bryant, a trainer.
Speaker: And he said the word cleaner, he said, what was it?
Speaker: He said cleaners usually control the pressure.
Speaker: Like they embrace it.
Speaker: Like it's not a thing to them.
Speaker: They control it.
Speaker: Like I'm controlling this pressure.
Speaker: This is not much.
Speaker: But you know what?
Speaker: Like, it's crazy because once you get into certain things and experience certain type of, you know, lifestyles or genres or professions, you start realizing, like, that not really matters as much as we thought it did.
Speaker: Even a failure.
Speaker: It's like, no, you want to fail.
Speaker: Like, no, you don't want someone to be perfect all the time.
Speaker: You know, you don't want to be positive all the time.
Speaker: And that's not real.
Speaker: Yeah, you're right.
Speaker: It's not real.
Speaker: And you're like, oh, I get it.
Speaker: No wonder.
Speaker: Nobody wants a perfect human being.
Speaker: It's boring.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like, honestly, like, having, you know, public success and being great and being fit and eating healthy and doing all these wonderful things, reading books, meditating, praying, and that shit is boring.
Speaker: It is boring.
Speaker: That's why people drink.
Speaker: That's why people smoke.
Speaker: That's why people do drugs.
Speaker: This is why people do crazy stuff.
Speaker: This is why people fight.
Speaker: They want something out of the ordinary, something that's a little bit more, wow.
Speaker: They want that high.
Speaker: Because let me tell you something, getting up 5, 6 a.m.
Speaker: every day, praying, meditating, and all those things look great.
Speaker: I love them, but it's tedious.
Speaker: You know how much work that is every day?
Speaker: It's a lot of work.
Speaker: People don't want to do that because it's boring eating healthy.
Speaker: It's boring.
Speaker: I said it's not good for you.
Speaker: It's boring.
Speaker: You want a snicker.
Speaker: You want gummy bears.
Speaker: You want whatever that makes you feel good.
Speaker: We are feel good human beings.
Speaker: We want to feel good.
Speaker: But do you think that that's something that's programmed?
Speaker: I think we're taught to want the stimulation.
Speaker: I mean, as humans, we probably biologically are...
Speaker: Like we're pleasure oriented, right?
Speaker: Like as human beings.
Speaker: But I think that's social conditioning.
Speaker: Yeah, I think part of it is social conditioning.
Speaker: I think all of it is conditioning.
Speaker: But what I do know is that like, all right, sitting at home all day, every day, reading, working on yourself, watching TV, call it like you get bored.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: Like I got to a point where I was like, okay, you need to relax.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: You need to chill out.
Speaker: You're too obsessed with being the best or being great or being better or getting more growing.
Speaker: Sit down.
Speaker: Why don't you just live a little?
Speaker: It doesn't have to be about progression.
Speaker: Just have a moment and just do nothing.
Speaker: Everything don't have to be like, I got to make us relax.
Speaker: Just enjoy life.
Speaker: It don't have to always be this
Speaker: I want to just get better because I at times I get caught up in that.
Speaker: Yeah, because the subconscious pressure is I have people depending on me.
Speaker: The subconscious pressure is I want to take care of everybody.
Speaker: But you don't people understand you can take care of more people when you have balance, when you do those things.
Speaker: But you also enjoy life.
Speaker: You enjoy living.
Speaker: You enjoy life.
Speaker: the small things.
Speaker: You have to fill up to give, right?
Speaker: You can't give if you don't have anything inside.
Speaker: You know, so... So what is that for you?
Speaker: What fills you up?
Speaker: Connection.
Speaker: Meaningful relationships.
Speaker: Meaningful conversations.
Speaker: Talking about real stuff.
Speaker: Watching, you know, my niece and nephews grow older and play and watch their movement.
Speaker: You know, just connecting to people and understanding
Speaker: Just the little things that make us who we are.
Speaker: Just real stuff.
Speaker: For me, meaningful relationships and conversations and human connection, I think, fills me up because that's what life is.
Speaker: That's when you get to the highest of all things and you really understand yourself.
Speaker: And there's no judgment or resistance around those connections because it's so raw and it's so real.
Speaker: And I think it fills me up for sure.
Speaker: I love that.
Speaker: Okay, we got a couple more minutes.
Speaker: So the podcast is about courage and curiosity.
Speaker: So I want to know what is one of the most courageous things you feel like you've done?
Speaker: I've done a lot of courageous things in my life, I want to say that.
Speaker: I don't really want to say this the most courageous, but when I look at my life, I think it was the best decision I made that was courageous, if that makes sense.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I was moving to L.A.
Speaker: 10 years ago for $1,000 to my name, taking that leap.
Speaker: And at the time, it wasn't like, oh, this is hard.
Speaker: Like, it was easy for me to make that decision.
Speaker: For sure.
Speaker: But when I sit back and think about it, I wouldn't be here on this podcast feeling the way I feel if I didn't make that decision, you know, being courageous.
Speaker: 10 years ago, I knew one person in Los Angeles.
Speaker: I made that decision.
Speaker: One-way ticket, $1,000, I'm out.
Speaker: People don't get to see that part of my life.
Speaker: They only see what I show them or what's out there.
Speaker: That was the defining moment of my life.
Speaker: The turning point that I really like, when I look back at my timeline, I'm like, yo, 2010, eat bigger.
Speaker: Yeah, you're the big little mother saga, huh?
Speaker: You had some guts, young man.
Speaker: When I first moved 10 years ago, everybody's like, you coming back home?
Speaker: You coming back home?
Speaker: Like, why are you asking me that?
Speaker: No.
Speaker: I didn't realize how big of a decision and how courageous that that was.
Speaker: So shots out to 2010, eat bigger.
Speaker: I love that guy was courageous.
Speaker: What, what is one thing that you would tell a younger youth?
Speaker: That is okay to express yourself.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: Like it's okay.
Speaker: Like it's really okay to express your emotions of how you're feeling.
Speaker: You don't have to close off and,
Speaker: hold everything in because you feel like no one is going to understand you.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: It's okay to be confident about the features you were blessed with.
Speaker: You don't have to dumb yourself down to fit in all the time.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: It's okay to shine.
Speaker: It's okay to be different and stand out a bit.
Speaker: You have what's been given to you.
Speaker: It's okay.
Speaker: I think I would tell the younger self that for sure.
Speaker: That's amazing.
Speaker: I love that quote.
Speaker: Um,
Speaker: I actually don't know who it is, but she talks about it doesn't serve anyone to play small.
Speaker: You dimming your light, you playing small, you being lesser than all of who you are serves no one.
Speaker: Yeah, and I think mine all came from the neglection of not having my mom and dad giving me that emotional support I wanted as a kid.
Speaker: And with my peer group, I felt like
Speaker: It wasn't that I was that much different than them, but I felt and I knew there was something about me that was different than them.
Speaker: So I would never put myself first because I wasn't first in a lot of things growing up.
Speaker: So I was like, all right, I'll just make them first, put myself last.
Speaker: And if I am better or something, I will never make a person feel like I'm better than them.
Speaker: I was just kind of like, oh, it's fine.
Speaker: But, you know, as I got older, it's like, like you said, it doesn't serve anybody playing small.
Speaker: Like when you play big,
Speaker: And you play up and live up to your name or who you are and your energy.
Speaker: And you can help more people.
Speaker: But doing less doesn't get you more.
Speaker: How did you come to that realization?
Speaker: I mean, I think it was forced upon me.
Speaker: God put me on a TV show and made me look at myself.
Speaker: Like, damn.
Speaker: Wow, really?
Speaker: This is what people have been saying this whole time.
Speaker: I didn't see it.
Speaker: But it forced me to see.
Speaker: I had no choice.
Speaker: I had no choice but to put myself first.
Speaker: Oh, what do you want?
Speaker: Where do you want to go?
Speaker: What you want to eat?
Speaker: Like, you know, like everything was about me at that time.
Speaker: Like, damn.
Speaker: Really?
Speaker: People sending me products and free gear?
Speaker: Like, what?
Speaker: Like, yeah, it's time for you to receive, young man.
Speaker: You've been giving your whole life and you've been missing out on your blessings.
Speaker: Yes, I love that.
Speaker: All right, last question.
Speaker: Are you ready for this?
Speaker: Mm-hmm.
Speaker: What is something that you're curious about?
Speaker: Ah, yeah.
Speaker: Man, I'm always curious.
Speaker: Lately, I'm just trying to see.
Speaker: I'm just really curious about, like, what is life all about with the people that's running the world, the powers that be?
Speaker: What is, you know, this lockdown?
Speaker: Like, what is this really about?
Speaker: What are we doing?
Speaker: Like, what, like, can we just be, you know, and live and love and serve and enjoy?
Speaker: I'm really curious to see if there's an answer out there.
Speaker: What is it?
Speaker: Maybe it's not an answer.
Speaker: Maybe I'll never know, but what are we doing, people?
Speaker: The people that's at the top, what are we really doing and why?
Speaker: What should we be doing?
Speaker: Loving ourselves, learning ourselves, growing ourselves, sharing our information, sharing our experiences, what we're doing here.
Speaker: Getting to know each other, starting with ourselves first on a deeper level.
Speaker: So we're going to be running around trying to control everything and be in power and
Speaker: make people feel less than because of what they don't have or what they do have.
Speaker: I don't know, man.
Speaker: I just feel like that old energy that we were killing ourselves to make it, to make money, to be successful, whatever.
Speaker: It's like, yo, that's not healthy.
Speaker: It's really not healthy, the way we were living.
Speaker: It wasn't healthy at all.
Speaker: And I was in that space for a long time, and I figured out I don't have to work as hard to get as much as I want.
Speaker: I can shift my paradigm on that.
Speaker: I really was in the matrix living a lie that wasn't serving my soul.
Speaker: It was actually damaging my soul.
Speaker: So to the people out there listening, find out who you are.
Speaker: Find out who you are on a deep soul level.
Speaker: Even if it's ugly, it's uncomfortable, doesn't make sense.
Speaker: Just get to that person.
Speaker: Get to that source of who you are.
Speaker: And then once you find out what that is and it feels good, grow from there and ask yourself, what are you supposed to be doing in this lifetime?
Speaker: Because I feel moving forward, if we continue to live life for money,
Speaker: And to be famous or have a bunch of followers, we're disrupting the universe.
Speaker: I feel like 80% of the world is not in alignment with what they're supposed to be doing.
Speaker: Therefore, it throws the universe off.
Speaker: I feel like when you're in alignment with what you're supposed to be doing, everything lines up.
Speaker: Your relationship, your family, your friends.
Speaker: uh food you eat things you listen to it just all makes sense i feel like we're damaging the universe without energy because we're really not in our truer self we gotta embody ourselves yes visualize and embody ourselves in our fullness eric so glad you're here
Speaker: I'm really glad and grateful.
Speaker: Like when you were just talking, when you said to everyone listening, I'm glad and I'm grateful that you are here living your truth as an example for others.
Speaker: Like I'm glad that you are living as the person that you needed when you were a kid.
Speaker: Yeah.
Speaker: And I also journal to that kid today, every day.
Speaker: I'm proud of you, Eric.
Speaker: I love you.
Speaker: Keep going.
Speaker: That's what's so hard for me to do.
Speaker: Now it's like I've talked to that inner child every day.
Speaker: Because I understood what he went through as a kid and he didn't.
Speaker: It wasn't his fault.
Speaker: He didn't, you know.
Speaker: So you got to love the inner child.
Speaker: But you also got to find out, find that inner child and have compassion for it and love it unconditionally because he or she wants that attention.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: So good.
Speaker: So grateful.
Speaker: Thank you for your time.
Speaker: Thank you for having me.
Speaker: Heck yeah.
Speaker: We'll catch you next time.
